Guilty Pleasure No. 9: The Principal (dir by Christopher Cain)


A confession:

I have a weakness for films about idealistic educators who try to teach and change lives in the inner city.  You know which films I’m talking about.  These are the films that always take place in a decaying high school and there’s usually at least one scene where the teacher is warned not to care too much about their hopeless students and then the teacher goes, “Someone has to care!”

Why do these films fascinate me so?

To a large extent, it’s because they take place in a world that is so extremely outside of my high school experience.  I was recently doing a search on my school and I came across a video on YouTube that was made by some students from my alma mater:

As I watched this video, I realized that neither the students, the campus, nor the neighborhood had really changed in the 9 years since I graduated.

I also realized that, even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I went to one of the most suburban, white bread high schools in the DFW metroplex.  At the time, of course, a lot of my classmates thought they were tough.  They would make a big deal about blasting Jay-Z and 50 Cent while they were driving down to Starbucks during lunch.  For the most part, though, we put the suburb in suburban.

That, I think, is why I’m fascinated by inner city high school films.  It’s even better when those films are totally over-the-top and feature a hero who not only teaches but who kicks some ass as well.

Perhaps that’s why I recently enjoyed watching The Principal.

Originally released way back in 1987, The Principal is one of those films that seems to regularly show up on the lesser known television networks.  A few weeks ago, I saw that it was going to be broadcast on Ion Television so I set the DVR to record it and I finally ended up watching it this weekend.

In The Principal, James Belushi plays Rick Lattimore.  (You can tell that this movie was released quite some time ago because Belushi has a lot more hair and lot less chins than he does now.)  Rick’s a teacher with an anger problem.  When he sees his ex-wife out on a date with his divorce lawyer, Rick loses it and physically assaults the lawyer.  The next morning, Rick is called into a meeting with the school board.  He’s expecting to get fired.  Instead, he’s promoted.  Rick is now principal of Brandel High.

Brandel High, it turns out, is the most troubled high school ever!  Drugs are sold and used openly in the hallways.  Few students bother to attend class (but yet they still come to the school).  The teachers spend most of their time hiding in either their classroom or the teacher’s lounge.  The school’s head of security, Jake (Lou Gossett, Jr.), spends most of his time making sarcastic comments.  When Rick pulls up on his motorcycle, the first thing he sees is a fight between rival drug dealers.

Rick responds to all of this by holding a school assembly.  As every student at Brandel jeers him, Rick announces that he has only one policy: “NO MORE!”  It’s at this point that the school drug lord Victor Duncan (played by Michael Wright) stands up and announces, “You talk too much!”

Things continue to build up from there as Rick divides his time between educating and getting beaten up by resentful students, Jake starts to actually care about his job again, and Victor wanders through the school hallways, dressed like he’s in one of the Underworld films and saying stuff like, “Try to reach me and I’ll just cut off your hand…”

The Principal is such an over-the-top, silly, yet heart-felt film that it’s impossible not to enjoy it in much the same way that you might enjoy eating junk food.  As I watched this film, I found myself wondering what had happened to James Belushi in the years since it was originally released because, in The Principal, he’s actually likable.  However, the film really belongs to Michael Wright.  Seriously, as played by Wright, Victor Duncan is the most evil student in the history of high school cinema.  When he tells Rick that he’s willing to cut off his outstretched hand, you believe him.

The Principal is a thoroughly predictable film that promotes a dubious educational policy of zero tolerance.  However, it’s also a lot of fun.

In other words, it’s the epitome of a guilty pleasure.

Belushi

Previous Guilty Pleasures:

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #86: The Nightmare Nanny (dir by Michael Fiefer)


Last night, I persuaded my friends, the Snarkalecs. to watch a movie on Lifetime with me.  That movie was The Nightmare Nanny.

Why Were We Watching It?

I have to take the blame on this one.  Usually, the Snarkalecs and I watch and live tweet a SyFy film on Saturday but last night, SyFy was showing Sharknado for the 100th time.  So, some of us were meeting up on twitter and trying to decide what we were going to watch.  Since I’m always trying to get more people addicted to watching Lifetime movies, I suggested that we all watch The Nightmare Nanny.  To my surprise and delight, everyone agreed.

What Was It About?

Creepy Anne (Ashley Scott) and her girly husband Ben (Kip Pardue) need to find a nanny to look after Jenny, their ennui-stricken 3 year-old daughter.  After an extensive search, they hire Julie (Makenna Melvin).  Julie is great with Jenny and, as Anne starts to realize, Jenny would actually much rather be Julie’s daughter.  However, little do they suspect that Julie is actually Amber and she and her white trash boyfriend are planning to kidnap Jenny so that they can raise her as their own.

What Worked?

The Snarkalecs were on fire last night!  Seriously, we may not have been watching a SyFy film but we snarked it like we were.  Hopefully, this will lead to the Snarkalecs watching even more Lifetime films.  I’m praying that I can get them to all watch Confessions of a Go Go Girl sometime soon.  Seriously, that’s the greatest Lifetime film ever!

As for The Nightmare Nanny itself… well…

What Did Not Work?

To be honest, The Nightmare Nanny was probably one of the worst Lifetime films that I’ve ever seen.

As played by Makenna Melvin, the nanny was so obviously unstable that you had a hard time believing that anyone would actually be stupid enough to hire her in the first place.

Meanwhile, the nightmare nanny’s victims (played by Kip Pardue and Ashley Scott) were both so unlikable that you found yourself hoping that they somehow wouldn’t be able to rescue their daughter because you simply couldn’t accept that these two would ever be able to conceive and take care of a child.  You found yourself suspecting that maybe they themselves had previously kidnapped Jenny from her natural parents.  Pardue was incredibly wimpy and Ashley Scott had perhaps the scariest eyebrows ever seen on television.  Is it any surprise that Jenny didn’t seem to be all that upset over being kidnapped, perhaps for the second time?

Speaking of the daughter, there was something very odd about her.  Not only did she never talk, walk, smile, or do anything else but she also slept in a crib despite appearing to be way too old.  Between the nightmare nanny and the odd parents, somebody seriously needed to call social services because there was just something odd going on in that household.

Finally, Nightmare Nanny failed to provide us with what we expect from a good Lifetime movie.  At no point did the nightmare nanny attempts to seduce the husband by wandering around in lingerie.  The wife’s sassy best friend survived the entire film.  Nobody wore anything that looked like it could have been designed by the designers on Project Runway.  The film’s climax was almost defiantly bereft of melodrama.

I’ve seen a lot of psycho nanny films on Lifetime and let’s just say that The Nightmare Nanny was no Perfect Nanny.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Usually, I can find a whole lot of “Oh my God!  Just like me!” moments whenever I watch a Lifetime film.  However, that wasn’t the case with Nightmare Nanny.  Seriously, the characters in this film were just too odd.

However, I did relate to a few of the commercials that were shown during the film.  For instance, I recently had a shrieking orgasm while washing my hair with Herbal Essences.

Lessons Learned

Never hire a nanny without checking Angie’s List first.

NN

Film Review: The Conjuring (dir by James Wan)


The-Conjuring

Before I say anything else about James Wan’s latest haunted house film, allow me to say this:

The Conjuring is crazy scary.

If just for that reason, The Conjuring has to be considered a success.  In this time when the savvy filmgoer has every right to be cynical about ghost films, The Conjuring delivers exactly what it promises.  It’s a scary film that takes the time to build up a properly menacing atmosphere and the final hour is one of the most intense that I’ve ever seen.

From the very first scene, I fell in love with The Conjuring.  Set in a classroom in 1969, the opening scene features paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) delivering a lecture about a possessed doll named Annabelle.  As Ed and Lorraine speak, we see flashbacks to how the doll first came to be possessed and I really do have to say that, with her cracked face and her morbid smile, Annabelle is one of the scariest dolls that I have ever seen.  This doll is pure nightmare material but, even more importantly, this short prologue serves to remind us that director James Wan knows how to make predictable material frightening.

As Ed and Lorraine finish their lecture, we are suddenly informed (via a crawling title) that Ed and Lorraine Warren are real paranormal investigators.  Ed is the only non-clergy to be certified as an exorcist by the Vatican.  We’re told that the movie we are about to see is a true story.  Again, this isn’t surprising.  (Don’t all ghost stories claim to be based on a true story?)  However, it was such a shameless and over-the-top moment that I couldn’t help but love it.  Again, it serves as a reminder that James Wan knows how to tell a ghost story and that’s what he proceeds to do for the next two hours.

The Conjuring tells the story of Carolyn (Lili Taylor), Roger (Ron Livington), and their five daughters.  The year is 1971 and Roger and Carolyn have purchased a large but isolated farmhouse in Rhode Island.  The house needs a lot of work, Carolyn and Roger are shocked to discover a cellar hidden behind some boards in a closet, and the family dog mysteriously dies the first night after they move in.  Their youngest daughter starts talking to an invisible friend while another daughter starts to sleepwalk.  Soon, Carolyn is waking up with mysterious bruises on her body.  After a mysterious woman attacks their eldest daughter and then mysteriously vanishes, Ed and Lorraine are finally called in to figure out what’s happening in Rhode Island…

Well, we can all guess what’s happening in Rhode Island.  To anyone who has seen Insidious, Sinister, or hundreds of other haunted house movies; the plot of The Conjuring will seem very familiar.  However, that actually works in the film’s favor.  One reason that ghost stories remain so effective is because of their familiarity.  When done correctly, films like The Conjuring are scary exactly because we know what’s going to happen.  The tension comes from knowing that nothing can stop it from happening.

Much as he did with Insidious, James Wan starts things out slowly.  He devotes the first hour of the film to building up tension and atmosphere of palpable unease.  The first part of the film demands patience on the part of viewers who have been conditioned by one too many installments of Paranormal Activity.

However, this patience pays off.  About an hour into the film, a supporting character wanders around the dark house and hears a ghostly voice whispering, “Look what you made me do…” It was when he spotted a figure standing in the shadows that I realized that, in its deliberate way, the film had totally captured the darkest corners of my imagination.  From the minute that shadowy figure appears, The Conjuring becomes one of the most intense horror films that I’ve ever seen.

However, The Conjuring is a lot more than just an effective horror film.  Since making a name for himself with the first installment in the tedious Saw franchise, James Wan has grown considerably as a filmmaker.  The Conjuring is not Wan’s first horror film but it is the first where you truly care about the characters and their safety.

Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor are convincing and likable and their five daughters are all perfectly cast and believable as sisters.  Speaking as the youngest of four sisters, I couldn’t help but both relate to this haunted family and appreciate the fact that the filmmakers made the effort to make them believable as both individuals and as family.  Much of the beginning of the film is devoted to observing the daily rituals of their lives and there were so many authentic moments that it made the fright scenes all the more scary.

Playing the Warrens, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are also well-cast.  As fictional versions of real-life paranormal investigators, the characters have the potential to be problematic but Wilson and Farmiga are both so committed to their roles and both have so much chemistry that I found myself not caring that I’m generally skeptical of ghost hunters.  On the basis of his work in this film, as well as his work in Insidious, Young Adult, and that episode of Girls where he has sex with Lena Dunham despite the fact that she spent nearly the entire episode wearing the ugliest shorts ever, I think Patrick Wilson has to be one of the most underrated actors working today.

All things considered, it’s not surprising that The Conjuring is an effective horror film.  What’s surprising is that James Wan’s latest haunted house film is also one of the best films of the year so far.

r-THE-CONJURING-large570

Trailer: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire


PCAS

I am currently in the process of catching up on all of the news that I missed out on during last week’s unplanned vacation from posting.  Indeed, one of the biggest events last week was the release of this trailer for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.  The Hunger Games was one of the best films of 2012 and Jennifer Lawrence provided a role model for girls who, otherwise, might be tempted to mistake Bella Swan for a strong woman.

Is it any wonder that Catching Fire is one of the most anticipated films of 2013?

Catching Fire, starring Jennifer Lawrence and directed by Francis Lawrence, is scheduled to be released on November 22nd.

‘Museum Hours’ (dir. by Jem Cohen)


“Museum Hours” is an absolutely beautiful and hypnotic film; one that depicts the idea of life as art, and vice versa, while examining how we have become disconnected from this notion and from one another; and how it is through the smaller more intimate details in both life and art that this connection is re-established.

mh

This is explored through a week or so of the life of Johann, a guard at the Kunsthistorisches Art Museum, who enjoys his quiet life amongst the artwork. He spends most of his day pondering the meaning of the paintings around him, as well as ruminating over the visitors who are either transfixed by the images or as he points out “seem to be competing over who can be the most bored”.

Early in the film Johann befriends a Canadian woman named Anne. She is visiting Vienna to care for her comatose cousin who she hasn’t seen in years. The burden of being in a country she has never been before and tasked with the care of an unconscious cousin she barely knows weighs heavily on her. She appears lost, an outsider disconnected from the people and culture around her.

mh2

Luckily for her Johann agrees to play tour guide and the two spend most of their free time together as Johann brings her around the city. It is in exploring Vienna with Johann, and seeing not the tourist attractions but the small shops, pubs and flea markets that she begins to feel connected again not just with the cities culture but also with her cousin. The joy of her time with Johann awakening memories long lost.

For Johann there is a similar revival. All these old places he once visited in his past seem new again. Not simply because he hasn’t been to them in years but because they have changed in such subtle ways that the experience feels new again. For both of them, it is the small things, the details we usually overlook, that reestablish a connections with family, country and friends.

This is reflected in the works of Pieter Bruegel whose art is the center piece of the film. He was a Dutch artist who made richly detailed paintings in which, as Johann explains, someone might find something new hidden within the frames with each viewing. You could easily say the same thing of “Museum Hours”. For director Jem Cohen, the film is his canvas and the streets, museums and pubs of Vienna his subjects. He plays observer, like a visitor in a museum, finding and capturing the intimacy of a city and its people. Inspired by art and human nature, he paints a richly detailed picture of the world we live, seeing details one might usually miss.

mh3

The importance of all this is expressed in one of the best scenes from any film this year as we watch an art scholar lead a group of tourists around the museum’s Bruegel exhibit. Here she points out that although many of his paintings depicted important religious tales, the focal point of the imagery is not the central religious figure but a bystander or object that gives the piece a meaning more important than that central figure. It is a powerful moment. At first glance we might all think we are seeing the same things creating a false sense of inter-connectivity. But ultimately it is how the smaller details affect us that truly matter. It is through this that the connections between life and art are reestablished, in ways that the bigger more seemingly important aspects of life can’t. A great artist can capture this. Cohen has done so here, by making the familiar feel new.

‘Europa Report’ (dir. by Sebastian Cordero)


“Europa Report”, which is available to rent on VOD, is a sci-fi gem that has me conflicted. On one hand, it does what many similar films have not – it delivers a unique story, rooted in actual science, that examines the sacrifices some are willing to make in the name of exploration and discovery…but on the other hand, it is a film weighed down by a format that begins to overshadow the human element and the themes mentioned above.

er

The film follows a crew of astronauts on their two year journey to Europa, an ice covered moon around Jupiter that scientist believe contains an ocean of water right below the surface; and as one scientist in the film points out, where there is water there is also usually life. The possible discovery of that life is the crew’s mission. They are to explore the ocean below the moon’s surface in hopes of finally discovering that we are not alone.

To tell the story the film is played out like a documentary. It consists mostly of archived video footage of the ship’s crew, as well as interviews with the earth based mission control members who organized the operation. It is this format that on one hand is a brilliant way of documenting the crew’s journey, but on the other really hampers the themes and suspense of the film.

er2

Through these recordings, we get to see the crew bonding and encountering tragedy on their journey to and on Europa. It turns out to be a really wonderful human tale of a group of people who without any hesitation or pretensions are willing to give anything and everything in order to make a discovery that could change the way we view ourselves, life and the universe. This portion of the film is a wonderful thing to behold, especially when their treacherous journey has some truly thrilling moments, including one gut wrenching scene played beautifully by Sharlto Coley. This is made all the better by the fact that unlike other similar sci-fi films (“Sunshine”), it doesn’t cop-out in the end and actually contains a third act that is tonally in tune with everything that comes before it.

er3

Sadly, this documentary style also means that the story is broken up by interviews with scientist and mission control members on earth explaining the crew’s goal. The issue here being that everything these individuals say in their interviews is simply exposition that is already clearly expressed through either the words or action of the mission’s crew in the recordings. So although the video footage and central story and themes are pretty clear cut, the addition of the interviews makes it feel like the filmmakers are trying to beat you over the head with them. It just ends up feeling unnecessary and breaks up the tension which is really disappointing.

Luckily, for me at least, this didn’t ruin my viewing experience. In the end the film still works, with a core story and themes that are still expressed and earned that lead to a brilliant ending; where the result of their mission is made clear and as ridiculous as it initially may seem, everything really comes into perspective and it ends up having an emotional punch and staying power one wouldn’t expect. Because of this I highly recommend this ambitious little gem of a film. If you can look past the interviews, and focus on the central story as I did, then you are in for a real treat.

Trash Film Guru Vs. The Summer Blockbusters : “Pacific Rim”


245941id1b_PacRim_1sided_120x180_2p_400.indd

Let’s start with a life lesson here that’s completely contradictory right on its face and therefore of absolutely no value whatsoever — sometimes the simplest ideas are great, and sometimes they’re really, really dumb.It all depends on the inherent intelligence level of the person who has them.

First case in point : a retrograde, racist, trigger-happy, self-appointed “neighborhood watch captain” decides it would be a good idea to follow around a kid in his gated suburban subdivision who’s minding his own business and eating Skittles. The cops tell him to back the fuck off and stay in his car, but our low-grade Charles Bronson-wannabe thinks he knows better : he pursues the young man on foot, removes his gun from its holster, loads  some rounds in the chamber, unlatches the safety, and proceeds to generally and obviously tail him for three or four blocks. When the target of his harassment finally decides enough is enough and jumps him, a fight ensues. We’ll never definitely know who threw the first punch, but when “Mr. Tough Guy” was on the ground getting his nose bloodied by the kid’s fist, he decided he’d had enough and shot his “assailant” in the heart.

Dumb idea. I don’t care if a jury gave him a free pass for murdering the victim of his stalking or not, it’s still just not smart. Bargain-basement Bronson was reckless with his firearm, needlessly killed a kid who was, let’s face it, provoked into a confrontation, and now he has this bright, promising youngster’s blood on his conscience (assuming he has one, which is debatable) and has to sleep with one eye open for the rest of his life. Clearly, nothing good came from this guy’s very simple, and very stupid, idea.

Case in point number two : Wouldn’t it be seriously fucking cool if the Transformers fought Godzilla?

The answer to this question is as resounding as it is obvious : hell yes (as long as Michael Bay doesn’t direct it)! Thankfully, Guillermo del Toro is the guy who had this idea, and the result is Pacific Rim, easily the funnest thing to hit the silver screen this summer (even if I did just say the same thing about The Lone Ranger — this tops it, and by a wide margin).

Now, you can take exception to my admittedly over-simplified root description of this film all you want — hey, man, this is about a lot more than that : it’s about giant mentally-linked-to-human-host robots called Jaegers who battle inter-dimensional monsters from beneath the ocean floor known as Kaiju, there’s a nice little low-key love story that develops between out hero, Raleigh Beckett (Charlie Hunnam) and his co-pilot, Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), it’s got Idris Elba as a stoic-but-compassionate military commander, and hey, Ron Perlman’s on board playing a mad scientist/black marketeer with the kind of relish that only he can bring to a role.

All these things are true, of course, but at the end of the day this is still a 12-year-old sci-fi geek’s wet dream realized on an enormous Hollywood budget. And that’s the best thing about it (besides maybe the awesome post-credits dedication to Ray Harryahusen and Ishiro Honda). This is del Toro letting loose his inner child for all of us to see, and that’s a pretty insipiring thing indeed, my friends.

Are there plot holes aplenty here? Sure, bigger than the monsters themselves (most notable among them being that if they know one of these nuclear Jaegers can seal up the dimenstional breach for good by blowing it to kingdom come, why did’t they try it years ago?), but never you mind that. Just sit back and allow yourself to be as thoroughly and completely wowed as is humanly possible by a movie. And when you feel a smile forming at the corners of your lips as the week goes on, don’t fight it — you really did have that much fun at the movies. It’s totally okay to feel like a giddy little kid again for awhile.

Have you seen The Iceman?


The Iceman, a gangster biopic that stars the amazing Michael Shannon, came and went earlier this year.  It got respectful, if not rave, reviews but it certainly didn’t get the attention that it deserved.  That’s a shame because The Iceman is one of the best films of 2013.

Directed by Ariel Vromen, The Iceman tells the true story of Richard Kuklinski (Shannon), a Mafia contract killer who claimed to have killed anywhere from 100 to 250 people over the course of his three decade long career.  At the same time that Kuklinski was murdering the equivalent of the population of a small rural community, he was also living a double life as a suburban family man.  When he was finally arrested in 1986, neither his wife nor his daughters had any idea that he was a killer.  After being sentence to spend the rest of his life in prison, Kuklinski gave countless interviews (and was the subject of a creepy documentary that still shows up on HBO occasionally) until he finally died, under mysterious circumstances, in 2006.

When Kuklinski is first seen in the Iceman, it’s the 50s and he’s flirting with Deborah (Winona Ryder).  When another man speaks to Deborah, Kuklinski reacts by casually following the man outside and killing him.  Kuklisnki goes on to marry Deborah before he eventually meets crime boss Roy DeMeo (Ray Liotta) and is recruited to kill for a living.  It’s a good arrangement for Kuklinski because it turns out that killing is the only thing he’s good at and his marriage to Deborah allows him to tell himself that he’s just a blue collar family man doing his job.

As opposed to other cinematic sociopaths, Kuklinski is no glib charmer.  Instead, as the film repeatedly demonstrates, he is a remorseless killer who feels neither shame nor joy as a result of his actions.  Much like the character played by Michael Rooker in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Kuklinski is not defined by what hides behind his blank expression but by the fact that there’s nothing to hide because nothing’s there.

Even Kuklinski’s love for his family is, in one particularly harrowing sequence, revealed to be hollow and false.  As becomes apparent, the only thing that keeps Kuklinski from taking out his homicidal impulses on his family is the fact that there’s a never-ending supply of Mafia lowlifes who need to be executed.  Kuklinski and his associates exist in a moral vacuum and friendship and family life are ultimately a disguise as opposed to a reality.

If this makes The Iceman sound like a rather dark film, that’s because it is.  And yet, the film is never less than watchable.  It helps that Ariel Vromen gets excellent performances from his entire cast.  Both Winona Ryder and Ray Liotta are perfectly cast.  Robert Davi shows up as a mobster and James Franco has a very effective cameo as one of Kuklinski’s victims.  Stephen Dorff plays Kuklinski’s brother, who is serving a life sentence because, unlike his brother, he never figured out a way to turn his dark impulses into a business.  Best of all,  Chris Evans plays an especially sleazy hitman who drives an ice cream truck in his spare time.  When Evans first shows up, he seems almost like a comical character but, as the film progresses, Evans’ performance becomes more and more sinister until eventually, he’s calmly talking about killing his own children.  For those of us who have been conditioned to associate Chris Evans with the clean-cut Capt. America, it’s a revelation of a performance.

However, the film is truly dominated by Michael Shannon.  It’s not easy to make an empty character compelling but Shannon does so.  Shannon is such a charismatic performer that you want to like him when he first appears on screen.  As The Iceman plays out, you keep finding yourself hoping that Kuklinski will reveal some shred of human decency.  You find yourself studying Shannon’s rigid stance and cold eyes and hoping to find some evidence of compassion.  The genius of Shannon’s performance is that he makes Richard Kuklinski a fascinating character even as he slowly reveals just how hollow he actually is.

Is Michael Shannon the best American actor working today?  That was a question that filmgoers were forced to ask after seeing Shannon’s performance in 2011’s Take Shelter.  It’s a question that they should ask again after seeing his performance in The Iceman.  Without Shannon’s performance, The Iceman would be just another gangster film.  However, thanks to Shannon, it’s one of the best films of the year so far.

A Blast From The Past: The Show-Off (dir by Herk Harvey)


As I’ve stated in the past, I have a weakness for creepy old educational films.  1954’s The Show-Off is one of the creepiest.

The Show-Off begins with a creepy schoolgirl, who appears to have wandered right out of the pages of a Stephen King novel, staring straight at the camera and asking us for our help.  It seems that a young sociopath named Jim has been giving the junior class a bad name.  We watch as Jim disrupts a class preparing for a history class.  In horror, we witness him disrupting rehearsals for the school play.  By the end of the film, Jim is intentionally tripping his fellow students and, worst of all, hanging an unauthorized banner that reads, “Yay!  Juniors!”

As the creepy girl asks us, “what would you do about the Show-off?  What would you do?”

Judging from stark grayness of the school and the bizarrely blank faces of most of the students, I imagine Jim was probably sent to Room 23 and forced to watch a Dharma Initiative video.  (Ah, Lost.  How I miss you…)

Like a lot of educational films from the 1950s, this one was directed by Herk Harvey.  Harvey would later go on to direct the classic horror film, Carnival of Lost Souls.  The Show-Off shares its odd, dream-like atmosphere with Carnival of Lost Souls.  I’m not sure if that’s intentional on Harvey’s part or if it’s just the fact that 50s were apparently a very creepy time.

Without further ado, here is Herk Harvey’s The Show-Off.

It’s Been One Week Since #SyFyDaysaster


trending like a bitch

Today is the one-week anniversary of a historic social media event: the #SyFyDaysaster.

For the past year, I’ve been a proud member of a group of film lovers known as the Snarkalecs.  Every Saturday, we would meet up via twitter and we would watch whatever film happened to be playing on the SyFy network.  Every week, we would look forward to the chance to live tweet films with titles like Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo, Two-Headed Shark Attack, and Piranaconda.  Often times, we would be joined by actors like Gerald Webb and directors like Griff Furst.  One of my best memories remains the time that Greg Grunberg replied to one of my tweets while we were watching End of the World.

Incidentally, every time that the Snarkalecs would start to live tweet a movie on Saturday, that movie would soon start trending.  As a result, other twitter users would have an incentive to change the station over to SyFy and see what everyone was talking about.  By showing original movies on Saturday night, SyFy kept the Snarkalecs entertained and we, as a result, then helped SyFy get better ratings.

What could be more American than that?

However, a few months ago, the SyFy network announced that they would no longer be showing original movies on Saturday night.  Instead, the movies moved to Thursday and Saturday night became about showcasing a rather forgettable show called Sinbad.

Unfortunately, Thursday is not a convenient night for many of the Snarkalecs.  Some Snarkalecs have to be at work on Friday morning.  Other Snarkalecs have family obligations during the week.  As for me, Thursday doesn’t work because that’s when CBS airs the weekly eviction episode of Big Brother.

As a result, the Snarkalecs have found other things and other networks to watch on Saturday night and Sinbad hasn’t trended once.

Two Thursdays ago, the snarkalecs decided to make a point.  As a group, we DVRed the SyFy original film, Independence Daysaster, off of the SyFy network.  We then watched and live tweeted the film on Saturday night.

Within fifteen minutes, just as a result of a handful of Snarkalecs live tweeting the film, #SyfyDaysaster was the number one trending topic in the world.  And it stayed at number one for the next two hours.  And when the tweets started to show up from people wanting to know just why exactly #SyFyDaysaster was trending, we let them know that it was trending because it was a film that the SyFy Network could have been showing instead of broadcasting the latest episode of Sinbad.

As a result of our act of social media protest, for two hours, #SyFyDaysaster was an even more popular subject than Amanda Bynes calling Drake ugly.

As for Sinbad, it trended not once.

The fact of the matter is that people don’t love the SyFy Network because of shows like Sinbad.  Instead, we love the SyFy network because SyFy gives us a chance to watch movies like Super Shark and Tasmanian Devils.  By showing those movies, the SyFy network has given me a chance to meet and get to know people who I may not have ever met otherwise.  SyFy Saturday movie nights introduced me to the snarkalecs and, for that, I will always be thankful.

Let me put it like this — if you tell me you watch Sinbad, I’ll smile politely.  Ff you tell me that you love Jersey Shore Shark Attack, I’ll be your friend forever and I’ll probably end up making out with you depending on how much I’ve had to drink beforehand.

In short, I’m proud of us!  I only hope that the SyFy network noticed and that they’ll reconsider their decision to make Saturday night all about Sinbad.

As for Independence Daysaster, it was actually something of a lesser SyFy film.  A bunch of aliens invade Earth on the 4th of July.  The President (played by Tom Everett Scott) teams up with a bunch of hackers to defeat them.  It was all pretty predictable and, under any other circumstances, rather forgettable.  Still, I will never forget the #SyFyDaysaster and I look forward to engaging in future acts of civil disobedience until, hopefully, the movies return to where they belong, back on Saturday night.

Here’s just a few of the tweets from #SyFyDaysaster:

Ok #SnarkAlecs 1 hr 45 minutes until #syfydaysaster let’s tweet the heck out of it, trend it and end up in twitter jail! — @Holidill

It’s just another day in Canada. — @LisaMarieBowman

Canada should annex us. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Oh damn, does that mean Biden’s President now? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I find it amusing that the alien invasion happens in a place called Mooseridge. #Syfydaysaster — @Karmic9

is it true most #SyFy movies are watched 3 day later with at least 10 #SyFyDaysaster tweets?” — @KellyThul

So #SyFyDaysaster  is tending a movie #Snarkalecs  are watching on dvr , but Sinbad isn’t #SyFy  are you paying attention — @ScottMcDonald3

“Nick’s hurt pretty bad. Can we just leave him here and pretend we didn’t find him?” #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“You can’t fight here!  This is the War Room!” — @LisaMarieBowman

I thought they were led by a Mimeminister RT @LisaMarieBowman Were we really hoping to get any help from President of France? #SyFyDaysaster” — @KellyThul

#WhoTheHellIsSinbad? #SyFyDaysaster — @HelenMcGe

He’s the President of Sexyville — @LisaMarieBowman

Redheads have no use for Presidents. #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Red barns: replacing gas stations as new source of magic wifi #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

Sound effects courtesy of airzooka #syfydaysaster” — @murderalotta

Gingers do to have souls! Haven’t you seen that YouTube video? #SyFyDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

“What is that?” It’s the moon, you moron. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Is that Ben Gardner’s alien invasion stock footage? #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

The real fans of @SyfyMovies got #syfydaysaster trending 3 days after #indenpendencedaysaster — @TonySolo

She put on her big glasses b/c she knew she was going to have to do smart stuff. #syfydaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

Nick is like a cockroach wearing an American flag. — @LisaMarieBowman

Stop insulting cockroaches — @KellyThul

The VP is thinking, OH shit, my evil plan has been foiled. All because of those meddling kids! #syfydaysaster — @PirateMel

“@LisaMarieBowman: I have to admit that I have no idea what’s going on in #syfydaysaster.” You’re at least a step ahead of me.. — @DocZeke71

There has been a serious lack of trees and vines in #syfydaysaster. I’m not lichen it.” — @LisaMarieBowman

Hey @SyFy, even though I am tweeting your movie on the “wrong” night, I am open to you sending me that power source thing #SyFyDaysaster — @KellyThul

Been a long day, a lot of short tempers, we could all use a Snickers #syfydaysaster — @PinkyGuerro

My milkshake brings all the balls to the yard. #syfydaysaster — @GGFletcher

#syfydaysaster If she were a real scientist she would be in a halter top by now. — @MJCaan

You have to ask if the world is really worth saving. I’d like to at least meet the aliens before dismissing them. #SyFYDaysaster — @LisaMarieBowman

I’m comforted to know that 2 hackers from Mooseridge can fire a nuclear missile. #Syfydaysaster” — @Karmic9

Make love to the camera Mr. President! Seduce it! #syfydaysaster — @DawnSnarks

The President should resign & let the redheads run the country #SyFYDaysaster” — @LisaMarieBowman

I haven’t seen a ball take a licking like that since the Jodi Arias trial. #syfydaysaster — @MJCaan

The balls went from suck to blow! #syfydaysaster — @Crunch_Ops

Wow, the aliens are dropping faster than Paula Dean sponsors #SyFyDaysaster — @bgardnersboat

Congrats, #Snarkalecs! Y’all had a lot of balls tonight. Now I have to fly away. #SyFyDaysaster — @Killer_Skippy

Tonight, the #snarkalecs made this goatsucker proud! #SyFyDaysaster — @HappyChupacabra

Flame-haired one is all excited because she made something trend in some place called Dallas. Meh. #SyFyDaysaster — @Doc_Bowman