Smoky Canyon (1952, directed by Fred Sears)


There’s a $2500 dollar reward out for the masked bandit known as the Durango Kid but little do the residents of Timber Rock know that the Kid is actually Steve Brent (Charles Starrett), a Treasury agent who puts on a mask whenever he needs to go undercover and discover what the bad guys are doing.

A range war has broken out between the sheep farmers led by Jack Mahoney (Jock Mahoney) and the cattlemen led by Carl Buckley (Tristram Coffin).  To broker a peace and discover which side is the most to blame, Brent works for the cattlemen while the Durango Kid sides with the sheepmen.  It turns out that Buckley’s to blame here.  He’s using the war to thin out his cattle so that an Eastern beef syndicate can keep prices high.  When Mahoney gets too close to the truth, he is framed for the murder of Mr. Woodstock and it’s up to the Durango Kid to prove that Mahoney is innocent.  Meanwhile, Carl wants to blow up an entire mountain so that it will really thin out his cattle herd.

This is a typical Durango Kid movie, entertaining if you like B-westerns and probably boring if they’re not your thing.  It has all the usual gunfights, horse chases, and dynamite explosions that are promised by every Durango Kid film.  Starrett was always one of the most convincing cowboys on screen, even if his use of the Durango Kid alter ego didn’t always make sense.  All the usual members of the Durango stock company show up, all playing different characters than they did in the previous Durango Kid film.  Mahoney gets to play one of the good guys for once and his spirited girlfriend is played by the lovely Dani Sue Nolan.  Smiley Burnett shows up to provide comic relief.  This time, he’s a singing tour guide.  He sings a song called It’s Got To Get Better.  Let’s hope so.

THE BLOOD OF HEROES (1989) – Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen play in the Jugger Super Bowl! 


As an obsessed Rutger Hauer fan of the early 90’s, I was working my way through the man’s back catalogue of films when I came across THE BLOOD OF HEROES (1989) on the shelves at my local video store. With its post-apocalyptic setting and its strange sport of jugger, I’ll admit that it was not the kind of film that I’m most drawn to. I generally preferred watching Hauer taking down the bad guys in movies like WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE (1986) and BLIND FURY (1989), which was released the very same year. However, it was a relatively recent Hauer film, so I rented it, cautiously optimistic that it would be entertaining. At the time, it was not my favorite Hauer film, but I remember an 18-year-old version of myself thinking it was okay. I’ve watched it a couple of times over the last 30 years, and even own the DVD, but it’s not one that I pull off the shelf very often. I decided it was time for a fresh viewing. 

In the bleak, desolate, futuristic world of THE BLOOD OF HEROES, Rutger Hauer plays Sallow, the leader of a team of juggers. They go from town to town challenging the local team in a sport where you win by placing a dog skull securely on a stake. It’s an extremely violent game consisting of two teams with five players. Four players basically beat the crap out of the opposition with clubs and chains, in hopes that they can provide protection to their one player, the “quick,” who can get the skull on the stake. We meet Sallow’s team who consists of Dog Boy (Justin Monjo), Mbulu (Delroy Lindo), Big Cimber (Anna Katarina), and Young Gar (Vincent D’Onofrio) as they enter a town ready for a match. They win, but Dog Boy, their quick, has his leg broken in the process. Luckily for them, the opponent’s quick Kidda (Joan Chen), who was at least partially responsible for Dog Boy’s gruesome injury, is available to head towards the next town with the ragtag crew! She turns out to be a hell of a player, who’s willing to do whatever it takes to win, including biting an ear off when it’s required. This is what I call dedication. During the course of the story, we find out that Sallow used to be a professional jugger who played in “The League” in the underground cities where the rich, aristocratic people live and treat their champion juggers “almost” like one of them. He got banished when he engaged in a forbidden relationship with one of the overlord’s daughters. With his team of juggers, especially the super talented Kidda and Gar, Sallow leads them to the big city where they will challenge the professionals. For Sallow, it’s a shot at redemption. For the others, it’s a chance to be noticed by the League, which will lead to a much more luxurious life, when they’re not bashing their opponents brains in of course. I may have exaggerated a bit in my headline when I referred to this challenge as the “Jugger Super Bowl,” but it’s still kind of a big deal! 

After rewatching THE BLOOD OF HEROES again, while it’s still not my favorite kind of film, I can confidently say that I enjoyed it very much this time around. Most of that joy stems from watching Rutger Hauer in his prime. He’s such a charismatic actor and that even comes across in such a grim setting. I also like his character type, that of the disgraced former hero searching for redemption against a system that had previously discarded him. There’s usually much satisfaction to be had with this type of character, and this movie delivers on that premise. Joan Chen is very good as the new addition to the team who dreams of escaping her town and becoming a jugger star! She and Hauer really carry the film. The rest of the cast also added to my enjoyment of the movie. For me, It’s a lot of fun watching actors like Vincent D’Onofrio and Delroy Lindo in relatively early roles in their long and distinguished careers. I really enjoyed seeing Australian actors Hugh Keays-Byrne and Max Fairchild, both veterans of the MAD MAX series, appear near the end of the film when they make it to the city. Max Fairchild is especially impressive as one of the League juggers and former friend to Hauer. I wanted to give one more shout out, and this one goes out to actor Gandhi MacIntyre, who plays the team manager and doctor in the film. He has a very likable presence and made me smile on multiple occasions. The movie’s pretty serious and dark, and Gandhi’s sense of humor is a welcome presence. 

THE BLOOD OF HEROES is written and directed by David Webb Peoples. To date, it’s the only feature length film that Peoples has directed. In my opinion, he does a fine job. He certainly creates an interesting world, with huge contrasts between the barren, rocky outside landscapes and the overcrowded, underground cities. This is not a world I want to live in, but Peoples brought his vision to the screen, albeit within clear budget limitations. Considering it’s from the same guy who wrote BLADE RUNNER (1982) and UNFORGIVEN (1992), the story is pretty simple. And this is fine by me. The story of redemption for some, and of the dream of newfound glory for others, is a story that all of us can relate to at some point in our lives. At this point in my own life, I can relate to both! The movie features some ugly and violent images, but I found myself emotionally pulling for the ragtag group of underdogs in the big game at the end. It’s also pretty cool that Peoples made up his own game when writing the screenplay, albeit a game I would never want to play. The game Jugger, a less violent version of the game introduced in the film, is currently played all over the world. 

One final thing I wanted to point out about THE BLOOD OF HEROES is the fact that an author named Danny Stewart has written a book called “Saluting the Blood of Heroes – Behind the Apocalyptic Film.” I just learned of this book while researching the film today for this review. It was published in July of 2024. I just love a world where a person is able to get a book published about the making of an obscure, low budget film from the late 80’s. I won’t be surprised if this ends up in my Amazon cart really soon. 

I’ve included the trailer for THE BLOOD OF HEROES (AKA – THE SALUTE OF THE JUGGER) below:

Renegade Girl (1946, directed by William Berke)


Missouri in 1864.  The Civil War is raging and the state is divided between those who support the Union and those secretly support the Confederate guerillas led by Willian Quantrill (Ray Corrigan).  The Union’s Major Baker (Jack Holt) is determined to track down rebel Bob Shelby (Jimmie Martin) and he enlists the Native American Chief Whitecloud (played by Chief Thundercloud) to help find him.  Whitecloud has a personal vendetta against the Shelby family and, when he finds Bob, he executes him in cold blood.  Bob’s sister, Jean Shelby (Ann Savage), is also a Confederate sympathizer and she seeks revenge.  Complicating things is that Jean has fallen in love with Union Captain Fred Raymond (Alan Curtis).

One of the many B-westerns produced by Robert L. Lippert and directed by William Berke, Renegade Girl packs a lot of plot into just 65 minutes.  The action is nonstop and fans of westerns will find all of the horse chases, gunfights, and threats of hanging that they could want.  The main thing that distinguishes Renegade Girl from other B-westerns is the fierce performance of Ann Savage as Jean Shelby, a woman who will not stop until she gets her revenge.  While the film’s portrayal of the Quantrill and Chief Whitecloud definitely goes against modern sensibilities, Ann Savage’s performance feels ahead of her time.  No one is going to stand in Jean Shelby’s way.

Chief Thundercloud’s real name was reportedly Victor Daniels, though his past is shrouded in mystery.  He claimed to be a Cherokee from Arizona, though he was listed as being Mexican on a marriage record that was filed before he started his film career.  As Chief Thundercloud, he was a mainstay in westerns from the 30s to the time of his death in 1955.  He was the first actor to play the Lone Ranger’s Tonto and he also played Geronimo in a 1939 Paramount film of the same name.  His final film role was a posthumous appearance in John Ford’s The Searchers.

Film Review: Mouse of Horrors (dir by Brendan Petrizzo)


As a horror fan, I always appreciate a good slasher film.  As dark and as disturbing as they can be, they’ve also helped me to face down a lot of my own real-life fears.  Watching a good slasher film can be cathartic.  You may be scared when you’re watching and, if you’re like me, you’ll probably put your hands in front of your eyes during the more graphic kills but, when the end credits roll, you feel proud of yourself for having made it all the way through.

Again, that’s a good slasher film.

A bad slasher film can be, if you’ll excuse the expression, absolute terror.

Mouse of Horrors is not a good slasher film.  It’s a film about Chloe (Natasha Tosini) and her friends who, after about 15 minutes of filler, finally go to the “fun fair.”  It turns out that the fair is not very fun because it’s home to Dr. Rupert (Chris Lines) and his two sons, one of whom wears a mouse mask and another of whom wears a bear mask.  They’re Mickey and Winnie, though they’re never explicitly called that over the course of the film.  (The Mouse is played by Lewis Santer while the Bear is played by Stephen Staley).  Dr. Rupert needs body parts so he sends his two sons out to collect them.  As you may have guessed, this leads to a lot of scenes of spurting blood, hacked-off limbs, and screams.  Mickey and Winnie do not speak but Dr. Rupert does.  In fact, the old man will not shut up.  Even if he wasn’t some old weirdo demanding that his sons hack up random people, Dr. Rupert would be an annoying old crank.

Let’s give some credit where credit is due.  The Mouse has potential and physically, Lewis Santer does a good job of portraying The Mouse’s jumpy style of movement.  The Mouse mask is creepy, or at least it is at first.  Eventually, I got bored with looking at the Mouse and, by the time the Bear started fighting with the Mouse, I no longer cared much about looking at either of them.  Still, the killer is one of the most important parts of a slasher film and the Mouse had potential.  The setting of the carnival also had potential, though most of it went unused.

The rest of the film, though …. ugh!  Seriously, this was one of the worst edited films I’ve ever seen, including one scene where a day for night scene went totally day for a few shots.  The story dragged.  (It takes 20 minutes to get them to the fun fair when the film really should have started with them already there.)  I was never quite sure where the Mouse was in relation to anyone else in the film, negating any chance of generating suspense.  Why was the town suddenly deserted?  Why did everyone else at the fun fair suddenly disappear except for Chloe and her friends?  Why did the Mouse go the local pub to kill a bartender instead of just staying at the fun fair?  Does the Mouse walk around town with his mouse mask on?  How does he get away with that?  I’ve always been the first to say that enjoying a horror film requires a certain suspension of disbelief but the audience has every right to expect some sort of reward for playing along.  This film doesn’t offer that reward.

Get ready for a lot more films like this. Copyrights are expiring and everyone wants to either make a film based on their childhood nightmares or get revenge on their English teacher for making them read a book in high school.  This was not the first killer Mickey film and I doubt it will be the last.

Film Review: The Wild Robot (dir. by Chris Sanders)


I don’t know if we fully recognize all the sacrifices parents make for their kids. A person takes on ownership of a whole little being (be it through birth, adoption or the Cat Distribution System) and somehow tries their best to keep it fed, protected, educated and loved, all while still trying to figure out their own lives. It doesn’t always work out. Some parents evade the responsibility, leaving their kids to horrible fates, while others rise to the challenge, often without fully knowing what they need to do. They’re not perfect, but parents can be pretty awesome at times, especially the ones who didn’t have to do the job. 

Dreamworks The Wild Robot may very well be the best Animated Feature this year. Nothing against Disney/Pixar’s Inside Out 2 (which was also wonderful) or Flow (which looks wonderful and took the Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature), but I spent a good part of this film sniffling. It’s a very simple, yet sweet story that moves at a very rapid pace. That’s understandable, given that it’s for children, but the story is accessible for just about any adult.

When a robot named Roz (Lupita N’yongo, A Quiet Place: Day One) crash lands in a forest, she studies her environment and tries to get to know the local habitat. The animals are naturally fearful of Roz, but she eventually begins to understand their dialects. While trying to phone home, Roz runs into some raccoon thieves and a rather large bear. The resulting chase causes her to accidentally crash into and destroy a goose nest, save for one egg. When the egg hatches, she finds herself having to take on a parent role for the gosling, though she’s not fully alone. Helping Roz out is a fox named Fink (Pedro Pascal, Gladiator II), who lives by his wits and provides some wildlife know-how for survival, while keeping himself well fed. Also along to assist is Pinktail, a possum who has a litter of her own to handle. As she adjusts to her new sense of motherhood, Roz meets tons of other animals that warm up to her. She finds a new task in taking care of Brightbill (Kit Connor, Ready Player One) and preparing him to fly South for the winter.

Directed by Chris Sanders (How to Train Your DragonLilo & Stitch), The Wild Robot has elements for both kids and adults. The wilderness is a dangerous place, and the Circle of Life is rougher here than it ever was in Disney’s The Lion King (which Sanders also had a hand in). There are predators and prey, and the audience is made to understand this pretty quickly (though not as harshly as say, Watership Down). There’s a great deal of tenderness as well, focusing on Storytelling (which Roz learns), the friends and family we make along the way and some hardship in the way that Brightbill suffers some insensibilities with from other geese that he doesn’t quite fit in with. 

I feel The Wild Robot‘s strongest points are the music and the art direction. The film looks like an actual watercolor painting, especially when viewed in the largest format possible. The pacing for the plot moved a little quicker than I expected, particularly in the lead up to meeting Brightbill. Musically, Kris Bowers (Netflix’s BridgertonThe Haunted Mansion) has a great soundtrack that adds some weight to the scenes. With Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross out of the running for Challengers, Bowers is my hopeful pick for the Best Soundtrack Oscar. 

At the time of this writing, The Wild Robot is available to watch on Universal’s Peacock service. Just make sure you bring a box of tissues and if at all possible, call or thank your Mom afterwards.

CHATO’S LAND (1972) – Jack Palance leads a posse after Charles Bronson!


One of the most enjoyable things about being a dad is introducing your favorite things to your kids. I taught my son Hank the sports of basketball, baseball, and golf, and even now there’s nothing we enjoy doing more together than playing a round of golf. Of course, as one of the world’s biggest Charles Bronson fans, I’ve introduced him to many films starring my cinematic hero. It seems that two movies have stood the test of time and have gone on to become two of his favorite movies. The fact that THE DIRTY DOZEN (1967) is one of his favorites isn’t a big surprise as he’s always enjoyed playing video games set during World War II. The other, CHATO’S LAND (1972), was more of a surprise. A few years ago, when Hank was home from college, I asked him if there was a movie he wanted to watch. It could have been any movie in the world, and I was honestly a little surprised when he said he’d been wanting to watch CHATO’S LAND again. Needless to say, this dad was very proud. 

Charles Bronson is Pardon Chato, a half breed Apache who’s minding his own business and having a drink in the saloon, when a small-town sheriff decides to give him hell just for being a “breed.” Forced to kill the racist POS in self-defense, Chato heads out of town a day ahead of the posse led by the former confederate Captain Quincey Whitmore (Jack Palance). Whitmore may be leading the posse, but the Hooker Brothers (played by Simon Oakland, Ralph Waite, and Richard Jordan) are just as bigoted as the sheriff who was killed, and they set about bullying their neighbors into joining their hunt for Chato. A couple of the guys who go along because it’s “expected of them” are Joshua Everette (James Whitmore) and Gavin Malechie (Roddy McMillan). When the posse comes across Chato’s home and woman, some of the members decide the wise thing to do is rape her and tie her up as bait. This is clearly not going to work out well for the posse, even those who tried to stop the rape. Using his sneaky Indian skills and the help of a fellow Indian, Chato is able to create a diversion and rescue his woman, but his friend is killed in the process. With his friend murdered and his woman brutalized and raped, Chato is no longer willing to just run away. From this point forward, the hunters will become the hunted as he leads them all further into CHATO’S LAND. 

There are several things that I find interesting about CHATO’S LAND. This is the first of six films that director Michael Winner and Charles Bronson would make together. They would all be financially successful films with THE MECHANIC (1972) and the original DEATH WISH (1974) standing out as true 70’s classics. Charles Bronson’s last number one box office hit would be DEATH WISH 3 (1985), which would also be his final film with Winner. It should also be noted that the character of Chato would be an early precursor of the kind of character Bronson would go on to embody almost exclusively throughout the rest of his career, that of the quiet but deadly man of action. Chato only says 13 lines in the entire movie and most of those are in a Native American dialect. Chato doesn’t have that much actual screen time either, but his presence dominates every scene. He’s like the angel of death hanging over the entire proceedings waiting to strike, and Winner continues to build on this tension as the film moves towards its inevitable conclusion. It’s an incredible, physical performance that can only be delivered by an actor like Bronson. Finally, the film has an outstanding cast, a cast that Winner himself would call “as good a cast as I ever assembled.” In addition to Bronson, Jack Palance is excellent as the confederate captain who’s never gotten over losing the war, and who now finds himself losing the battle to control the men in the posse. James Whitmore and Roddy McMillan are solid as a couple of decent men who went along because they felt it was their duty to their neighbors, who now find themselves caught up in a bad situation with even worse men. And finally, Simon Oakland, Ralph Waite & Richard Jordan are the kind of men you love to hate as the ignorant and bigoted Hooker brothers. It doesn’t hurt your feelings at all to see those guys get what’s coming to them.

Overall, CHATO’S LAND is a very good western, dominated by Bronson’s presence in the same way that JAWS (1975) is dominated by a giant killer shark. It was also a hugely profitable film upon its initial release, guaranteeing that Bronson would continue to get starring roles in films backed by American studios. Bronson liked to work with the same directors once he felt comfortable with them, and his collaboration with Winner would prove to be extremely fruitful and help turn him into one of the biggest box office stars in America. Thanks, Michael! 

Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company (2003, directed by Jason Ensler)


Do you remember Three’s Company?

The sitcom was a big hit when it aired in the 70s and 80s and it still gets a lot of play in syndication today.  Based on a British sitcom (and you would really be surprised to how closely the first season followed the original series), Three’s Company starred John Ritter as Jack Tripper, an aspiring chef who moved in with two single women, Janet (Joyce DeWitt) and Chrissy (Suzanne Somers).  Because their impotent landlord (Norman Fell) didn’t want people of the opposite sex living with each other unless they were married, Jack pretended to be gay.  Every episode centered around a misunderstanding, though it was Suzanne Somers’s performance as the perpetually bouncy and braless Chrissy Snow that made the show a hit.  The show fell apart when Somers asked for more money, Ritter and DeWitt got angry with her, and the studio bosses lied to everyone.  Today, the show is legendary as an example of how backstage tension can end even a popular series.

Behind The Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company attempts to dramatize the success and eventual downfall of Three’s Company.  Joyce DeWitt appears at the beginning and the end to talk about how important she thinks the show was.  In the movie, she is played by Melanie Paxson.  John Ritter is played by a lookalike actor named Bret Anthony while an actress named Jud Taylor plays Somers.  Brian Dennehy plays ABC president Fred Silverman and other executives are played by Daniel Roebuck, Wallace Langham, Gary Hudson, and Christopher Shyer.  The movie recreates all of the drama that went on during Three’s Company without offering much insight or really anything new to the story.  Even though the movie was co-produced and hosted by Joyce DeWitt, Suzanne Somers is really the only sympathetic character in the movie.  DeWitt comes across as being jealous while Anthony plays John Ritter as being a bland nonentity who chooses his own success over being honest with his costars.  The network executives are more interesting, just because watching them provides a glimpse into how real producers and showrunners picture themselves.  They just wanted to make a good show about a sex addict pretending to be gay so he could live with two attractive, single women but the agents and the network presidents just keep getting in the way!  Won’t someone please think of the mid-level network executives?

Bland though this recreation was, it was enough of a rating hits that NBC went on to produce several more Behind The Camera films.  Three’s Company was only the beginning.

Searching For Babe Ruth


Because today is Babe Ruth’s birthday, I wanted to watch a movie about the player who is still considered to be one of the best to ever play the game of baseball.  Specifically. I wanted to watch a film that was made about him while he was still alive, The Babe Ruth Story (1948). in which the very presence of Babe Ruth on a baseball field causes a previously crippled child to walk again.

I couldn’t find that movie streaming anywhere online but I did watch two other Babe Ruth movies.  First, I watched Babe Ruth Story: That Ever Livin’ Babe (1962).  It’s available on Prime and it’s a documentary that was made about Babe Ruth.  Actor Pat O’Brien narrates the life of Babe Ruth, from his start at a school for wayward boys all the way through the end of his career.  It was a good good documentary and one thing that I found interesting is that the documentary didn’t try to sugarcoat any of Babe Ruth’s later problems with gambling or that he liked to live large.  (That was the reason why, despite his success on the field and his popularity off the field, Babe Ruth was one of the few former stars not be offered a management position after he retired from playing,)  The documentary even admits that, having grown up so poor that his own family sent him away, Babe Ruth was determined to enjoy his fame.  More importantly, the documentary also featured a lot of footage of Babe Ruth both on and off the field, including his first game at Yankee Stadium and also he and his wife selling liberty bonds during World War I.

Then, on YouTube, I found Just Pals (1932), a nine-minute film starring the Babe himself.  Babe Ruth returns to the “orphanage” where he grew up and watches a group of boys play baseball.  When one of the boys strikes out and walks away dejected, Babe Ruth takes the time to teach the boy how to properly hold and swing a bat.  That’s not quite as good as magically curing a cripple but Babe Ruth still offers some good advice and an important lesson.  He teaches the kid how to hit a ball like Babe Ruth.  The team wins the next game and Babe Ruth is there to see it.  Then he drives away with one of the orphans stowing away in the trunk of his car.

What I’d really like to see is Babe Comes Home (1927), a silent movie starring Babe Ruth that supposedly featured a lot of footage from Babe Ruth’s games.  Unfortunately, it’s believed to be a lost film.

Artist Unknown

Babe Ruth was born 130 years ago and he played his last game 90 years ago.  He was the first baseball player and one of the first athletes to become a celebrity in America and he’s still considered to be one of the best to ever play the game.  I don’t know if he actually called his shot at the 1932 World Series but I like to think he did.

Happy birthday to Babe Ruth, the man who epitomized the the spirit of baseball!  As for the rest of us, Spring Training begins on February 20th, the Dodgers and the Club will play in Japan in March 18th and 19th, and then the Regular Season runs from March 27th to September 28th!  Go Rangers!

 

 

 

Madhouse (1990, directed by Tom Ropelewski)


Mark (John Larroquette) and Jessa Bannister (Kirstie Alley) have a perfect yuppie lifestyle going until their respective family members show up at their California home and refuse to leave.  First, it’s Mark cousin (John Diehl) and his wife (Jessica Lundy).  Then it’s Jessa’s sister, Claudia (Alison LaPlaca), who has just left her husband and now has to find a new man to support her lifestyle.  Mark and Jessa just want some time alone but instead, they have to deal with a cat who is frequently mistaken for dead, broken marriages, a shipment of cocaine, and a neighbor (Robert Ginty) who builds weird bed frames.  Mark has a big contract to land and Jessa is trying to succeed as a television news reporter but it’s not easy when you’re living in a madhouse.

There are some films that you just like despite yourself and that’s the way I feel about Madhouse.  It’s very much an 80s film, with its emphasis on material goods and achieving the perfect lifestyle.  (The appearance of Dennis Miller as Mark’s co-worker only reminds us of just how much a product of its era that Madhouse is.)  There are a lot of jokes that don’t work and some, like the cat that is continually mistaken for dead, that shouldn’t work but do.  It’s a sitcom transferred to the movies and the humor rarely rises above that level.  It ever stars two of the decade’s biggest sitcom stars, John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley.  Larroquette shows us why he was better suited for television while Alley shows how tragic it was that she didn’t have a bigger film career.  Kirstie Alley gives such a dedicated and fearless performance as someone who has been driven to the end of her rope that it keeps you interested in the film.  Alley, like the great comedic actresses of Hollywood’s golden age, was an actress who could mix physical comedy with barbed one-liners and who was undeniably appealing as she moved from one disaster to the next.  In Madhouse, she was beautiful, frantic, sexy, neurotic, relatable, and funny all at the same time.  By the end of this movie, you really do wish she had gotten more and better opportunities to show off her talents in the years after Cheers went off the air.

Madhouse is nothing special.  It’s a generic comedy about unwanted family guests.  But I’ll always appreciate it for Kirstie Alley.

Funny Money (2006, directed by Leslie Greif)


Henry Perkins (Chevy Chase), the most boring man alive, has a job making wax fruit while his wife (Penelope Ann Miller) wants to make a living through drawing naked men.  (I guess that’s fair considering how many men make their living by drawing naked women.)  On Henry’s birthday, Henry spots a briefcase just like his and decides to swap them.  At home, Henry discovers that his new briefcase contains five million dollars!

Henry wants to move to Europe immediately.  But every time he and his wife try to leave their home, something occurs.  A menacing cop (Armanda Assante) shows up.  Henry’s friends drop by to celebrate his birthday.  The Romanian mob makes an appearance, looking for their money.  All Henry and his wife want to do is steal the money but instead, they spend a night dealing with false identities, physical comedy, and slapstick humor.

Funny Money was based on a stage play and it seems like the sort of thing that would have been hilarious if viewed live, with everyone running on and off the stage and some genuine suspense about who was going to show up next.  It does not translate well to film.  This would have been a good vehicle for Chase in the 80s or even the 90s but, by the time the movie was made, Chase seemed old and tired.  Penelope Ann Miller is never convincing as Chase’s wife.  (Someone should have tried to reunite Chase with Beverly D’Angelo or even Goldie Hawn for this movie.)  The main problem is that the supporting characters are never as funny or as quick-on-their-feet as the film needs them to be.  Armand Assante doesn’t seem to know he’s in a comedy.  Even a reliable actor like Christopher McDonald is let down by the film’s script and direction.  That’s too bad because the material had potential.  While it’s not a disaster like Cops and Robbersons, Funny Money is still never funny enough.