Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.23 “The New Cook”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week’s episode is stupid!  Let’s get to it.

Episode 1.23 “The New Cook”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 2nd, 1999)

After a relative in Texas breaks his leg — *sigh* I can already tell you that I’m going to hate this episode — Peter announces that he has to go down to the Lone Star State to look after the ranch because, of course, everyone who lives in Texas owns a ranch.  (Except for me apparently.)  Peter leaves Jason and Scott in charge of the restaurant.  Jason points out that he doesn’t get paid to be an assistant manager.  He gets paid to be a waiter and you know what?  Jason is perhaps the biggest douchebag to ever appear on a television show but, in this case, he’s absolutely correct.

Seriously, does Peter not have any adult employees that he can leave in charge?  Jason and Scott are not managers.  They are just his good-for-nothing sons who he hired because they were too irresponsible to be left on their own.  Scott has grown a bit more responsible over the course of the season but neither he nor Jason really has the track record of someone who you would leave in charge of a complicated business.  Jason and Scott do some pretty stupid things in this episode but it’s all Peter’s fault for being dumb enough to give them so much responsibility in the first place.

With Peter gone, it falls to Jason and Scott to hire a new chef for the kitchen.  They hire Inga (Victoria Silvstedt) because she’s tall, blonde, and apparently comes from a country where there are no laws about nepo kids sexually harassing their new employees. Unfortunately, it turns out that Inga cannot cook.  The head chef refuses to work with her and storms out of the restaurant.  Because neither Jason nor Scott can work up the courage to fire her, they try to teach her how to cook.  Then they try to run the kitchen themselves.  A bunch of Texans are coming to the restaurant and they’re expecting lobster.  Uh-oh, Traycee set all the lobsters free!  She dumped them in the ocean.  Hey, Traycee, you probably just killed all of those lobsters!  Can no one on this show think?

(And seriously, what was this episode’s deal with Texas?)

Scott and Jason have to figure out what to do about their guests who claim to be from Texas but who all have the fakest accents that I’ve ever seen.  Bleh.  Screw this storyline.  It’s too stupid.  I’m done talking about it.

Meanwhile, in the B-plot, Murray is visited by the legendary surfer, Webfoot Wilson (Peter Flanders).  Webfoot says that he’s putting together a charity for injured surfers.  But, after Sam and Stads see Webfoot stealing money from the Surf Shack’s cash register, they realize that he’s just a con artist!  Will they find the courage to tell Murray that his friend is a thief?  Of course, they will.  What a stupid B-plot but I will give credit where credit is due.  Brandon Brooks’s performance as Murray was probably the only thing that worked about this episode.  Murray may have started out as a standard weird sidekick but Brooks was actually able to make him into a surprisingly likeable and occasionally even funny character.

Next week …. oh, who cares?  Something will happen.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.4 “Cellmates”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

It’s Rex Manning Day on Monsters!

Episode 3.4 “Cellmates”

(Dir by Stephen Tolkin, originally aired on October 21st, 1990)

Timothy Danforth (Maxwell Caulfield) is a rich American kid who has gotten in trouble while visiting Mexico.  He was arrested after hitting a kid with his car and then punching out the kid’s father, who just happened to be a cop.  After Danforth was arrested, the cops looked inside his car and found a lot of drugs.  Convinced (perhaps correctly) that Danforth is a drug dealer and a smuggler, the cops promptly toss him into a filthy jail cell.

The cocky Danforth is convinced that his father will soon free him from the prison.  However, in the next cell, an old man (Ferdy Mayne) says that Danforth has been tossed into a special cell.  It’s a cell that is reserved for the worst of the worst.  The Old Man says that no one ever leaves the cell.  At first, Danforth laughs off the old man’s claims but, at night, the Old Man dissolves into a puddle of liquid that enters Danforth’s cells and attempts to attack him.  Danforth survives but when he tells his lawyer and his jailers about what happened, the authorities respond by chaining Danforth to a wall, leaving Danforth at the mercy of the Old Man.

It’s a pretty good thing that Danforth is such an unlikable and downright loathsome character because, otherwise, this would be a really disturbing episode.  Instead, Danforth is a stereotypical rich kid who thinks that he can get away with anything and that the rules don’t apply to him.  He shows no remorse about having hit a kid with his car.  He’s cocky and arrogant from the minute we see him.  He’s exactly the kind of guy who gives Americans abroad a bad name.  In the end, it’s hard not to feel that he really doesn’t have anyone but himself to blame for his predicament.  He’s a victim of his own very bad choices and he’s so confident that he’s untouchable that his final fate feels like karma.

This is a pretty simple episode.  A bad guy falls victims to his own stupidity.  There’s nothing likable about Timothy Danforth, though Maxwell Caulfield certainly does a good job in the role.  Caulfield plays Danforth as being an incredibly spoiled brat, someone who has never been held responsible for his actions and who can’t believe that he’s actually in real trouble.  Surprisingly, Caulfield almost gets you to feel sorry for Danforth at the end of the episode.  Danforth really had no idea what he was getting himself involved with.  That said, in the end, bad decisions are bad decisions and Danforth has no one to blame but himself.

This was an effective episode, with a lot of atmosphere and a good performance from Maxwell Caulfield.  So far, Season 3 of Monsters is off to a good start.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.12 “Take a Letter, Vicki/The Floating Bridge Game/The Joy of Celibacy”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Set sail for adventure, your mind on a new romance….

Episode 5.12 “Take a Letter, Vicki/The Floating Bridge Game/The Joy of Celibacy”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 12th, 1981)

Captain Stubing notices that Vicki seems to be depressed.  He asks his crew if they have any idea what’s wrong with her.

Actually, he could have just asked me.  Why is Vicki depressed?  Maybe it’s because she’s a teenage girl who spends all of her time on a boat surrounded by people who are all at least twenty to thirty years older than her?  Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have any friends her own age?   Maybe it’s because Julie’s now too coked up to be the surrogate mother figure that she was during the previous two seasons?  Seriously, there’s a lot reasons why Vicki might be depressed but they all have on solution.  Let Vicki go to school on the mainland and allow her to have some friends her own age!

The crew, however, thinks that the Captain should just hire Vicki to be his secretary.  Stubing agrees.  Vicki is happy to have a job and she immediately does the exact same thing that I would do under those circumstances.  She rearranges the captain’s entire office.  The Captain can’t find anything but personally, I think his office does look better once everything has been straightened up.  A messy office leads to a messy mind and, on a cruise ship, a messy mind can lead to a collision with an ice berg.

Vicki then issues a cheerful memo, telling all the members of the crew that they should give the Captain a daily run-down of their plans for the day.  Again, I think that makes total sense.  The crew, however, is outraged.  The Captain is worried that Vicki is taking her position too seriously but he doesn’t know how to fire her.  (When did Captain Stubing become a wimp?  This is a weird episode.)  The crew decides to give Vicki so much work that she’ll quite out of frustration but they discover that Vicki is determined to do a good job.  No one knows what to do….

LET HER HAVE FRIENDS HER OWN AGE AND A NORMAL LIFE!  THAT’S THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO!

Anyway, the overworked Vicki eventually falls asleep on the job.  The Captain uses that as an excuse to fire her.  Vicki smiles because she didn’t really enjoy the job in the first place.  Usually, the relationship between the Captain and Vicki is one of the better elements of The Love Boat but this episode left me feeling really bad for Vicki.  She’s really missing out on the best years of her life.

As for the other two stories, neither was very interesting.  A bridge club made up of four widows takes the cruise and are shocked when one of them (played by Nanette Fabray) decides she would rather spend time with a handsome dentist (Robert Alda) than play bridge.  My question here is why would you spend money to play bridge on a cruise while you could just play at home for free.  If you’re on a cruise, enjoy the scenery!  Don’t just play bridge.  Meanwhile, Barry Styles (Jim Trent) pretended to be a big believer in celibacy in order to get “ice queen” Linda Trent (Carlee Watkins) to fall for him.  Doc and Gopher made a bet on whether or not he would be successful.  DOC!  GOPHER!  You two know you’re better than that!

This week’s cruise was just sad.  The bridge club wasted a lot of money.  Linda was the center of a misogynistic bet.  Vicki is still going to be lonely and depressed next week.  What a sad trip on The Love Boat.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, season 5 comes to an end.

Episode 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on May 8th, 1982)

The latest batch of guests are arriving and Julie is nowhere to be seen!  Perhaps that’s because, as Mr. Roarke explains to Tattoo, Julie is helping out a guest who has an invisibility fantasy.  Tattoo and Roarke watch as the guest walks by.  His body may be invisible but his pants are not.

This is the final episode of the fifth season and it’s also the final episode in which Wendy Schaal will be credited as a part of the cast.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the Julie character but it still seems like a bit of a shame that she didn’t get to do anything in the finale.  Then again, this episode doesn’t really feel like a finale.  I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes during the fifth season but it’s hard not to feel, with the way that Julie and Tattoo have randomly shown up in different stories, that the season’s episodes were not shown in the order in which they were filmed.  Maybe all the Julie episodes were filmed at one time, while Herve Villechazie was off doing something else.  Who knows?  It’s just been a strange season.

That’s all wonderful and interesting, Lisa …. But what about this week’s fantasies!? you may be asking.

They both feel a bit familiar.  That’s not always a bad thing, of course.  Fantasy Island is a comfort show and a part of the comfort is knowing that things are always going to play out in a certain way.  But, with this episode, both fantasies felt as if they had been done better in the past.

Harry (Bo Hopkins) is a bounty hunter who comes to the Island to track down fugitive Nick Tanner (Robert Fuller).  Nick has been accused of robbing a bank and is hiding out on a nearby island.  Harry goes to the island but he soon discovers that Nick is innocent and that the real bank robbers have also come to the island in search of Nick.  Luckily, there’s a widow named Juliet (Jo Ann Pflug) who is also living on the island.  Harry and Nick hide out at her place before they all team up to defeat the real bank robbers.  Nick and Juliet fall in love and Mr. Roarke performs one of his trademark wedding ceremonies.  Nick and Juliet then board the plane back to America and …. wait a minute, what about Harry?  It was his fantasy!  We don’t ever see Harry leave Fantasy Island.  Maybe he’s still living there.

(Personally, I think he married Julie and that’s why she was no longer working there once season six began.  I like that.  Consider it to be canon.)

The other fantasy is a haunted house story.  Amanda Parsons (Tanya Roberts) comes all the way from Baltimore to spend 24 hours in one of Fantasy Island’s many haunted houses.  Two other paranormal investigators attempt to do it before Amanda but they end up fleeing after two minutes.  I’m not sure why.  The manor looks creepy but it turns out that the ghost is a rather wimpy and not at all frightening guy named Timothy Black (Dack Rambo).  Cursed by his own father after Timothy refused to fight a duel with Captain Fitzhugh Ross (John McCook), Timothy has spent two hundred years haunting the old manor.  Amanda takes sympathy on him.  It turns out that Ross’s descendant is also on the Island.  Timothy challenges him to a duel, causing the latest Ross to run in fear.  Timothy and his ghost dad (John Myhers) realize it’s okay to be scared of getting shot.  Ghost Dad asks Roarke to bring Timothy back to life so that he can pursue his romance with Amanda.  Roarke does just that, despite the fact that, in many previous episodes, Roarke has specifically said that he cannot bring the dead back to life.

Usually, I enjoy Fantasy Island‘s haunted house fantasies but this one didn’t do much for me.  I think it’s because the ghost was just too wimpy.  There’s nothing more annoying than a whiny a dead guy,

And so ends this very odd season.  Next week, we being season 6!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.3 “Valley Go Home!”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch and Jon go to the beach!

Episode 3.3 “Valley Go Home!”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired September 29th, 1979)

There’s been a string of thefts at the beach.  Someone is stealing radios out of cars and then making a fast getaway.  Somehow, this thief is able to blend in so well with everyone else that no one even notices him breaking into the cars until it’s too late.  Jon and Ponch have been assigned to patrol the beach and keep the radios safe.

Of course, Jon and Ponch don’t just worry about radio thieves.  When two women lose control of their car while towing a sailboat, Jon and Ponch are there to not only help them stop the car but also to ask them out on a windsurfing date.  (Every episodes of CHiPs found a way to promote the so-called “California lifestyle.”  It was probably one of the most effective tourism commercials ever filmed.  I don’t even swim and this episode still made me want to go wind surfing.)  They also get involved in the rivalry between three local white surfers and a group of Latino teenagers from the Valley.  Both groups drive Chevy vans with ornate decals.  One gets the feeling that the blonde surfers call their van the “Second Base Mobile.”

This is an episode of CHiPs that takes place at the beach so you’ve probably already guessed that it doesn’t take long for Ponch to find an excuse to put on a speedo.  Baker and Ponch not only work together but they also hang out together.  On the show, they’re best friends.  (Behind-the-scene, Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada were not quite so close.)  They spend a lot of time at the beach, eating ice cream.  Baker wears modest swim trunks.  Ponch walks around in his speedo and shows off his dazzling smile.  One gets the feeling that, if this episode had been made in 1999 instead of 1979, Ponch would have been handing out AOL CDs to everyone he met and saying, “When you sign up, I get fifteen free minutes to talk to you.”

Ponch has a theory that the radio thief is disguising himself as someone who works at the beach.  (Needless to say, Ponch comes up with the theory while Baker agrees because, on CHiPs, everything was much pretty much about Ponch.)  Ponch suspects that the thief might be the local ice cream man.  Ponch and Baker eat a lot of ice cream in this episode.  Eventually, it turns out to be the local trash collector.  The ice cream man is off the hook!

As far as the surfers and the Valley kids are concerned, it all works out.  Of course, it works out in the most dangerous way possible, with the surfers and the Valley kids chasing each other in their vans and both crashing their vehicles.  After 48 hours in jail, all of them are back on the beach.  The surfers agree to teach the Valley kids how to handle a board.  The Valley kids agree to take the surfers to Mexico.  Ponch and Jon have a good laugh before going windsurfing.  How can you not love California?

This was a pretty silly episode but the beach scenery was nice.  It’s hard for me to not enjoy a show that features not one but two vans.  All hail the 70s!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Miami Vice says goodbye to a friend.

Episode 3.12 “Down For The Count: Part One”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 9th, 1987)

Larry Zito finally gets his own episode!

Played by John Diehl, Larry Zito was a part of the show from the very beginning.  Occasionally, it’s easy to forget that Diehl was a part of the ensemble because his character was rarely given anything to do and we rarely learned that much about Zito.  He was Switek’s partner and he seemed to have a quirky sense of humor.  Occasionally, he had long hair and a beard and he seemed to enjoy wearing elaborate disguises while working undercover.  That said, Zito was always a bit of an enigma.  Even the rare episodes that centered on the Switek/Zito partnership seemed to feature Zito mostly in the background.

In this episode, though, we finally learn a bit about Zito.  We learn that he has a background as a boxer and he’s good at training other fighters.  We learn that he takes it seriously whenever he hears about a crooked promoter manipulating a boxer.  We learn that Zito is a recovering alcoholic.  In this episode, we learn that Zito is more than just goofy comic relief.  He’s got a heart as gold.  When the Vice Squad investigates a crooked promoter named Guzman (Pepe Serna), Zito takes it upon himself to train an up-and-coming boxer named Bobby Sykes (Mark Breland).  Bobby’s previous trainer (played by Randall “Tex” Cobb) was a friend of Zito’s and was murdered by Guzman.  For Zito, this case is personal.  He even helps Bobby win a championship.  Yay, Zito!  That’s not bad for a supporting character!

Unfortunately, this also leads to Zito dying.  After the fight, Zito is confronted by Guzman and his men.  Switek later finds Zito’s body in the gym with a hypodermic needle sticking out of his arm.  Guzman gave Zito a fatal overdose of heroin.

This really depressed me!  I mean, Zito finally gets a chance to handle a serious case and, even more importantly, John Diehl finally gets a chance to show off the fact that he’s a very good actor and then, at the end of the episode, Zito’s dead!  Poor Zito!

(From what I’ve read, John Diehl wanted off the show because he felt his role was underwritten and he also preferred doing theater to weekly television.  That’s understandable.  At least he got one turn in the spotlight before he was written off the show.)

Needless to say, this episode is dominated by the death of Zito.  The scene with a tearful Switek cradling Zito’s dead body makes such an impression that it’s easy to forget that this episode also featured the odd spectacle of Don King playing Mr. Cash, an ex-con turned honest fight promoter who disapproves of Guzman’s tactics.  Somehow, Don King being the voice of integrity makes sense in the topsy-turvy world of Miami Vice.  King says that Guzman is in Miami because it’s a brand new territory and a place where anyone can make it rich.  That’s been one of the recurring themes of this show since it began.  Anything can happen in Miami.  Including Larry Zito dying….

Give me a moment to wipe away the tears.  Seriously, the end of this episode really depressed me!

Next week, Switek is out for revenge.  I hope he gets it!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on The Street 2.2 “See No Evil”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, no one’s innocent.

Episode 2.2 “See No Evil”

(Dir by Christopher Menual, originally aired on January 13th, 1994)

Watch out!  Stanley Bolander’s whining about his divorce again!

Ned Beatty was one of the great character actors and he is certainly convincing in the role of Stanley Bolander, the veteran Baltimore homicide detective who has seen the worst that humanity has to offer and who spends most of his time annoyed with his partner, John Munch.  But, as good as Beatty is, I still groan whenever Bolander starts to talk about his ex-wife and his divorce.  His bitterness was a recurring theme during the first season.  It was annoying but it was understandable because the divorce was still recent.

But now, we’ve started the second season.  It’s time move on, Big Man!

This episode finds Bolander very reluctantly taking part in sensitivity training.  He avoids meeting with Dr. Carrie Weston (Jennifer Mendenhall) until Giardello threatens to suspend him without pay.  Bolander is stunned when Dr. Weston turns out to be sympathetic to his anger over his divorce.  Bolander ever tries to ask Dr. Weston out, just for Weston to inform him that she’s just gotten out of a bad relationship and that she believes “birds of a feather should flock together” and, speaking of birds, did you know that there are lesbian seagulls?  Bolander gets the hint.  Myself, I would probably lie about being a lesbian just to get out of having to spend any more time listening to him cry about his divorce.

Far more interesting than Bolander’s angst were the two cases at the center of this week’s episode.  Chuckie Prentice (Michael Chaban) shoots his dying father (played, in a powerful and intimidating performance, by Wilford Brimley) in the head.  Though Chuckie claims that his father committed suicide, Lewis has his doubts and takes Chuckie to the station for interrogation.  Detective Beau Felton just happens to be Chuckie’s best friend and, after Chuckie tells him that his father specifically asked to be put out of his misery, Felton tries to convince Lewis to say that the shooting actually was a suicide.  At first, Lewis refuses but eventually, he agrees to look the other way while Felton takes Chuckie to wash his hands and destroy any evidence of gunpowder residue on his skin.  Without any definite evidence proving the he fired the gun, Chuckie is free to go and his father’s death is ruled a suicide.

This was a powerful story and it was all the more effective because it refused to come down on one side or the other.  Both Felton and Lewis presented their positions well and the episode ended not on a note of triumph but on a note of weary resignation.  Chuckie is free to go on with his life and his father is no longer in pain but Lewis is going to be haunted by his decision to allow evidence to be destroyed.  Personally, I’m against assisted suicide and I felt it was selfish for Chuckie’s father to ask Chuckie to pull the trigger.  But, having spent the previous few months trying to come to terms with my own father’s passing, I could understand what Chuckie was feeling.  There really are no easy answers.

As for the other case, it involved the shooting of a drug dealer.  The dealer was shot in the back.  A patrolman claimed that he slipped and his gun accidentally fired during the pursuit of the dealer.  Pembleton had his doubts about whether the shooting was really an accident or a case of police brutality.  Even after Giardello warned him that pursuing the case would turn “brother against brother” in the police force, Pembleton insisted on asking every police officer on the scene to turn in their guns for testing.  “You son of a bitch, Pembleton,” Giardello muttered.

And again, this was a storyline that worked because it refused to present an easy solution.  The dead man was a criminal and he was shot while fleeing the cops.  Even though the cop that slipped was eventually cleared of having fired the shot that killed the dealer, it was obvious that the shot did come from a cop.  Pembleton, with his black-and-white view of his job, was determined to find the truth, regardless of the professional consequences.  Giardello, with years more experience than Pembleton, spoke from the heart when he told Pembleton that investigating the case would bring harm not just to the cop who shot the dealer but to every cop working the streets, regardless of whether they were involved or not.  Felton could convince Lewis to look the other way.  Pembleton was not willing to do the same thing.

It was a strong episode, even with all of Bolander’s nonsense.  Perfectly acted, morally ambiguous, and fiercely intelligent, this is an episode that I’ll be thinking about for a while.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 3.2 “Hey, Take Me Over”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, Howard continues to dream of a better job.  Good luck with that, Howard.

Episode 3.2 “Hey, Take Me Over”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on  October 10th, 1987)

Cobb’s has been sold!  Because the new owner is a huge corporation that owns several luxury resorts, Howard convinces himself that he’s going to be promoted to running a hotel in Tahiti.  (Howard’s background in hotel management has been one of the few consistent things in Check It Out.)  Instead, corporate vice president T.C. Collingwood (Elizabeth Hanna) comes down to the store and tells Howard that he needs to start wearing a smock that says “Howie, Store Manager” on it.

Howard does what any reasonably immature, 50ish man would do.  He quits.  But then Edna explains that Howard will lose his pension if he quits so Howard decides that maybe wearing the smock won’t be so bad.  “You’re throwing away your future,” Edna says at one point, as if Howard isn’t clearly approaching the age when most people retire.

This episode really drove home one of the biggest issues with Check It Out!, which is that Howard was written to be an ambitious man in his 40s but he was played by Don Adams who, when the show began, was already in his 60s.  Now, it should be admitted that Adams looked about ten years younger than his actual age but still, Howard comes across as a bit too old to still be fantasizing about suddenly changing careers.  There’s a principle that everyone rises to their level of incompetence.  They keep getting promoted until they reach a job they can’t do and then, they get stuck there.  Howard’s level of incompetence appears to be working as a general manager of a grocery store.

Howard eventually does put on the smock and agrees to keep working at his job.  What’s odd about this is that Howard was already wearing the smock during the previous episode.  Obviously, the episodes that made up the final season of Check It Out! were not aired in their intended order.

For all of the flaws to be found in this episode, it was still better than the majority of the second season.  It would appear that, with season 3, the show’s producers and writers finally settled on Howard being an incompetent manager and the store being a mess.  That’s definitely the right way to go.  When it comes to workplace sitcoms, incompetence is always funnier than hypercompetence.  (Just consider the U.S. version of The Office, in which the funniest episodes featured the office in chaos and the cringiest episodes were always the ones the centered on how good Jim was at selling paper.)  No one respects Howard and Howard has no idea how to do his job.  That’s a lot funnier than whatever the second season was trying to do.

Finally, I should mention that T and T‘s Sean Roberge has a small role in this one, playing the new bagboy.  If I’ve learned anything from doing these retro television reviews, it’s that, in the late 80s, syndicated Canadian television shows really did seem to share the same small pool of actors.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/29/24 — 1/4/25


It’s a new year but there’s still much to watch.  Here’s some thoughts on what I viewed during the first week of 2025!

CHiPs (Prime)

Freevee may be dead but CHiPs continues on Prime.  My reviews of the show will return on Monday.

Cobra Kai (Netflix)

I watched the 2nd part of the final season of Cobra Kai on Friday.  I know the regular complaint about Cobra Kai is that every season is pretty much the same and there’s actually some validity to that comment.  But I don’t care.  It’s a fun show and William Zabka is a joy to watch.  From the start, I know this latest set of episodes would end with yet another huge brawl but, at this point, I’d be disappointed if they didn’t.  The showrunners know exactly why people watch this show.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I have been watching this atmospheric German show on Netflix.  This week, we finished up the first three episodes.  Case has watched the show before.  He said it would appeal to my “analytical mind” and so far, he’s very much correct about that!  I’m enjoying uncovering the mysteries of this macabre mystery.

Days of Our Lives (Peacock)

On Saturday, I got caught up with Days of Our Lives on Peacock.  One thing that I like about this show is that you can go for six months without watching and still feel like you can jump right back into the storylines when you come back!  I enjoyed watching all of the citizens of Salem celebrate Christmas and New Year’s.  And I’m glad to see that Patch is still with us.

Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest (Tuesday Night/Wednesday Morning, ABC)

Jeff and I spent New Year’s Eve at my BFF Evelyn’s annual “Screw The Year That Was” party.  The big annual countdown was playing on the television in one of the rooms at Evelyn’s place and I glanced in on the show occasionally.  I’ve never really gotten into any of the televised New Year’s Eve celebrations.  I don’t really have the attention span for them.  I just find it interesting that it’s still Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, even though Mr. Clark passed away quite some time ago.  It’s like Ryan Seacrest is a medium or something, letting us hear from Dick Clark from beyond the grave.

Going Dutch (Thursday Night, Fox)

After getting barraged by commercials for this show on an almost nonstop basis, I felt as if I had to watch the premiere.  Denis Leary plays an army officer sent to enforce discipline on a base in the Netherlands.  The base’s former commander?  His daughter!  I was glad that this show didn’t use the tired mockumentary format that is so popular nowadays but, overall, it still didn’t do too much for me.  The mix of family drama and goofy humor just didn’t work,

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Hell’s Kitchen returned this week, with both Joe and Anne-Marie being eliminated from the competition.  Like Chef Ramsay, I was surprised that Joe didn’t last long enough to receive a black jacket.  As for Anne-Marie, she probably should have been eliminated weeks ago.  She’s just too scatterbrained to be the head chef.  (For the record, she would still do a better job in the position than I ever would!)

King of the Hill (Hulu)

On Sunday, after the news broke about the death of Jimmy Carter, my sister Megan and I watched the episode of King of the Hill in which Carter attempted to broker peace between Hank and his father.  It turned out to be too big a job for even Jimmy.  This was a classic episode and it featured one of my favorite King of the Hill lines.  Upon meeting Carter, Hank says, “You ran our country …. (voice filled with reverence) America.”

Miami Vice (Prime)

I got back to watching Miami Vice this week.  Watch for my review on Monday!

Saved By The Bell (Prime)

I wasn’t feeling well on Sunday night so Megan and I watched a few episodes from the Ms. Bliss era.  We both agreed that Ms. Bliss was kind of a bitch.

The Twilight Zone (SyFy, Tuesday and Wednesday)

I caught a few episodes of the annual New Year’s marathon.  This is a classic show and I always try to find times to catch my favorites, like The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street, Eye Of The Beholder, Shadowplay, and that one with the nurse saying, “Room for one more, honey!”

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday The 13th 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, we meet Johnny Ventura!

Episode 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”

(Dir by Jorge Montesi, originally aired on May 15th, 1989)

With Ryan and Jack out of town, it falls to Micki to retrieve a cursed pool cue stick.  Helping her out, despite all of her attempts to convince him to get lost, is Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque), a friend of Ryan’s who Ryan hired to help search for the cue stick.  Even after Johnny finds out that the item has been cursed by Satan and Micki’s entire life currently revolves around supernatural violence, Johnny wants to not only help out but to also stick around, just because he likes Micki.  Micki might want to tell him about all of her previous boyfriends who have all died as a result of getting involved in the search for cursed antiques.

I understand that Johnny is going to eventually replace Ryan on the show, starting with the third season.  This episode isn’t particularly subtle about setting Johnny up as a Ryan substitute, though Johnny’s crush on Micki is a bit less cringey than Ryan’s.  (Ryan is Micki’s cousin, which is something that the show often seems to overlook.)  Johnny is established as being a cocky guy who is willing to break the rules.  In other words, he’s just like every other guy who has ever been a lead character on a show like this.  One of the stranger things about Johnny is that everyone keeps referring to him as being a “kid,” even though he looks like he’s older than just about everyone else on the show.

As for the cursed pool cue, it belongs to Jennifer (Elizabeth Maclellan), a waitress at a seedy bar.  She wants to marry Danny (Louis Ferreira), a self-centered pool player who treats her terribly.  Jennifer is convinced that Danny is just worried about winning the upcoming pool tournament so she impales people with the cursed pool cue.  Each time Jennifer kills someone, the next game that Danny plays is his best ever.  Jennifer is slightly sympathetic because she’s convinced that Danny will marry her right after he wins the tournament and she’s too insecure to see what a cad he is.  (She’s also pregnant, though Danny doesn’t know it.)  When Jennifer’s sister (played, in a very early role, by Lolita Davidovich) says that Danny is never going to marry her, Jennifer refuses to believe it.  When Jennifer discovers that her sister is sleeping with Danny, Jennifer has found her next victim.

It’s really not that interesting of a curse but then again, this episode is more concerned with introducing the character of Johnny Ventura than with anything else.  Unfortunately, at least in this episode, Johnny really isn’t that compelling of a character.  This was a bit of a disappointing episode but who knows?  Maybe Johnny Ventura will grow on me.

Next week, Micki and Ryan go to the ballet!  Yay!