Horror On The Lens: The Naked Witch (dir by Larry Buchanan)

Posted on October 5, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s Horror on the Lens come to us for director Larry Buchanan.

Larry Buchanan was not only born in Texas but he made most of his films here too. In 1964’s The Naked Witch, a college student is doing a research project on the German-speaking villages in Central Texas. It’s while visiting one such village that this idiot accidentally brings an ancient witch back to life. In many ways, this is a typical Buchanan film. The budget is low and the plot is sometimes incoherent. But the film is also fairly atmospheric. In my case, it helps that I’ve actually spent time in Central Texas and I know how creepy things can sometimes get out there.

Enjoy The Naked Witch!

October Positivity: The Appointment (dir by Rich Christiano)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1991 and filmed in Arkansas (which means that I might very well be distantly related to half the cast), The Appointment opens with people all across a small town reading a newspaper column that’s been written by Liz (Karen Jo Briere). Liz’s column is all about how much she hates Christians and how she wishes that they would stop opening up new churches and demanding that everyone give them money. Judging by the reactions of the people reading the column, this is apparently the only thing that Liz ever writes about.

At the newspaper, Liz is getting angry calls from people who she describes as being “religious nuts.” At one point, she says that the paper has gotten fifteen calls! Now, I know that probably doesn’t sound like that many calls to you city folks but we’re talking about small-town Arkansas here. In Arkansas, for every one person who complains, there’s probably about twenty who are just holding their tongue out of politeness. In other words, Liz has upset a lot of people but she doesn’t care. She hates religion and, besides, she’s going to Hawaii in just a few weeks.

But then, a mysterious man enters Liz’s office. We never actually see the man. Instead, we just see things from his point-of-view and we hear his voice when he speaks. He informs Liz that he has a message from the Lord.

“The Lord who?” Liz asks.

“The Lord Jesus Christ,” the man replies.

(What was Liz expecting to hear? Does she regularly get messages from the House of Lords or something?)

The man tells Liz that she’s going to die on September 19th at 6:05 pm. She laughs him off and says that she can’t die because she’s going to Hawaii and she’s never seen it before.

“You never will,” the man replies.

AGCK!

The Appointment is a seriously creepy film. What really makes it creepy is that no one at the newspaper seems to be that upset by this mysterious man who shows up in their office and tell their star columnist that she’s going to die. Even though it’s established that everyone can see and hear the man, it doesn’t occur to anyone to call the cops after he leaves. No one asks Liz if she’s okay. When the mysterious figure shows up a second time, no one seems to be alarmed. When the hour of what she’s told will be her death approaches, no one volunteers to stay with Liz or to protect her or offers her any words of comfort whatsoever. I guess the 90s were a more innocent time but still, it seems like people should have been at least a little bit alarmed by all of this. At the very least, maybe someone could have offered to walk Liz to her car.

The Appointment is one of those Christian films that attempts to convert viewers by scaring them. I’m not really a fan of that approach and there’s something undeniably distasteful about the joy the film seems to take in counting down the minutes until Liz dies and presumably heads to Hell. That said, it’s a surprisingly well-directed film and the amateur cast actually does a pretty good job. The film’s musical score is loud, otherworldly, and totally intrusive, which is exactly right for this film. The scenes in which the camera creep through the newspaper office feel more appropriate for a horror film than a faith-based film. Agree or disagree with the film’s message, it’s still effective in its own crude sort of way.

Add to that, the film was shot in Arkansas, which is one of the many states in which I grew up and still have family. As I watched the film, it was kind of nice to hear some familiar accents.

Horror on TV: Ghost Story 1.4 “Bad Connection” (dir by Walter Doniger)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, Karen Black plays a widow who starts to get mysterious phone calls from a man who sounds just like her late husband. Black later expressed some regret that she ended up getting typecast a horror actress but she definitely did a good job in these roles.

This episode was co-written by Richard Matheson and originally aired on October 6th, 1972.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman (dir by Daniel Farrands)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2021 film, Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman, is yet another film about the life and crimes of America’s first celebrity serial killer, Ted Bundy.

In this particular film, Bundy is played as being a handsome nonentity by Chad Michael Murray. The film follows Bundy as he moves from Seattle to Utah to Colorado and eventually to Florida, leaving a path of death in his wake. Investigating his crimes are Seattle Detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). McChesney not only has to track down Bundy but she also has to deal with her sexist police chief and his idiot son, both of whom think that Bundy’s victims are to blame.

Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman is the latest true crime horror film to be directed by Daniel Farrands. The frustrating thing about Farrands is that, if you can overlook the subject matter of his recent films, he’s actually a talented horror director who knows how to create suspense and who can be counted on to come up with at least one effective jump scare in all of his films. That said, he keeps making films that are almost impossible to defend because they exploit real-life tragedy. Farrands’s best film, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, worked because of Hilary Duff’s committed performance in the title role and the fact that the film itself was fully on Tate’s side. However, Farrands’s The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson was a tacky piece of exploitation that, despite Farrands’s strong visuals, appeared to have little compassion for the woman whose murder served as the film’s inspiration.

Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman is neither as effective as The Haunting of Sharon Tate nor as bad as The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. For the most part, the film plays loose with the facts of the case. At one point, McChesney even shows up at one of Bundy’s crime scenes and takes a shot at him as he flees. (Tarantino also played around with history in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood but, by allowing Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio to kill the members of the Mason family, he also allowed their victims to live. Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman, on the other hand, is willing to change history to allow McChesney to arrive at the crime scene but it’s not willing to change history to allow any of Bundy’s victims to survive. It’s hard not to feel that the film would have benefitted from following Tarantino’s approach and allowing Bundy’s victims to beat him to death.) There are a few odd scenes in which Bundy is showing fondling several mannequins. The scenes appear to pay homage to William Lustig’s Maniac but again, it doesn’t seem to be based on anything the actual Bundy did. The film hints at the intriguing idea of Ted Bundy being America’s first celebrity serial killer but it doesn’t really follow up on it. The whole thing feels rushed and rather icky. It certainly doesn’t add any insight into Bundy or killers in general.

That said, our longtime readers know that I hate to end on a totally negative note so I will say that the film uses its low budget to its advantage. The sparse sets and the small cast give the film something of a surreal feel, with Bundy as an evil specter who randomly shows up to haunt the dreams of a nation. Lin Shaye and Diane Franklin appear in small roles. Franklin plays a distraught mom who asks McChesney to kill Bundy rather than arrest him. Shaye plays Bundy’s overprotective mother and gives a nicely creepy performance. As I said earlier, it’s not so much that the film is badly made as the subject matter is so icky and the script is so bereft of any new insight that most viewers will wonder why the film needed to be made at all.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.4 “Family Reunion/Voodoo”

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone! We have two very strange fantasies this week and a few memorable guest stars!

Episode 1.4 “Family Reunion/Voodoo”

(Directed by George McGowan, originally aired on February 18th, 1978)

Finally! After four weeks of trying to figure out how exactly the island works, I finally watched an episode that explained what Tattoo’s actual job is. Apparently, Tattoo is an accountant. It’s his job to keep track of how much money the island has in its treasury and to order stuff for the resort. It’s also his job to rent things for the fantasies. This episode, he mentions that it’s not cheap to rent a bear. Mr. Roarke gives him a slightly disapproving look but no matter. Tattoo’s correct. Bears are not cheap.

As for the fantasies, they’re both kind of strange in this episode.

The more peaceful of the fantasies involves Tony (Tom Fridley) and Ann (Kathy Kurtzman) and their desire for their parents, Harry (John Gavin) and Evelyne (Juliet Mills), to get back together. The fantasy involves tricking Harry and Evelyne into returning to the summer camp where they first met and having them fall in love all over again. (Yes, it’s The Parent Trap, all over again.) Unfortunately, Harry and Evelyne are accompanied by their new significant others, Stuffy McBorington (David Hedison) and Slutty LaGolddigger (Mary Frann.) Actually, I guess those weren’t really their names but they might as well have been. Fortunately a sudden rain storm and a visit from the expensive bear convinces Harry and Evelyne to dump Stuffy and Slutty and give love another chance. Yay!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, Mr. Roarke has recreated a Haitian rubber plantation! Jane Howell (Lauren Tewes, who I’ve also been watching on The Love Boat) is an amnesiac who might be the daughter of the plantation’s owner. She, her adoptive parents (Howard Duff and Marjorie Lord), and her fiancé (Gary Collins) spend the night at the plantation. However, it turns out that they’re not alone. Mr. Roarke has also brought over a voodoo priest (Ernie Hudson!) who is determined to drive Jane mad! It’s a really weird story that ends with not one twist but two. It’s also an effectively creepy story, which makes it all the stranger that it’s paired with a light-hearted Parent Trap homage.

To me, the most interesting thing about this episode is that so many of the guest stars were veterans of the horror (or at least, the supernatural) genre. The Family Reunion storyline features Juliet Mills (Beyond The Door), David Hedison (The Fly), and John Gavin (Psycho). (Interestingly enough, David Hedison played Felix Leiter in two James Bond films while Gavin would have played Bond in Diamonds are Forever if Sean Connery hadn’t agreed to return to the role.) Meanwhile, Voodoo features Lauren Tewes (who appeared in Eyes of a Stranger and Twin Peaks: The Return) and Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters). It’s an interesting mix of actors and it’s fun to see them all wandering around the island at the same time.

I enjoyed this episode. Family Reunion was agreeably silly while Voodoo was creepy and melodramatic. Add to that, Ricardo Montalban seemed to be having a genuinely good time as the mysterious Mr. Roarke. He made the island seem like a fun place to visit, even with the bears and the voodoo hijinks.

Next week, more fantasies! And more smiles!

Horror Scenes That I Love: Swimming With The Creature From The Black Lagoon

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror scene that I love comes from one of my favorite films, 1953’s Creature From The Black Lagoon. In this scene, Julia Adams goes for a swim. Little does she realize that, under the water, the Creature is following her every move. Wonderfully directed by Jack Arnold, this creepy yet oddly lovely scene is one of the best of the 50s.

International Horror Film Review: Dr. Orloff’s Monster (dir by Jess Franco)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This 1964 Spanish film takes place in Austria.

The notorious Dr. Orloff is dying. Orloff was the lead character in director Jess Franco’s The Awful Dr. Orlof. (The spelling of Orlof’s last name changes from film to film.) In the first film, Orlof (played with maniacal relish by Howard Vernon) was a father driven mad by his daughter’s disfigurement. With the help of his mute servant, he murdered women so that he could perform skin transplants in order to give his daughter back her beauty. In Dr. Orloff’s Monster, Dr. Orloff is a more of a generic mad scientist and he is now played Javier de Rivera. Knowing that his time is running out, Orloff passes along his secrets to one of his disciples, Dr. Conrad Jekyll (Marcelo Arroita-Jáuregui).

(In the dubbed American version of the film, Dr. Jekyll’s name is changed to Dr. Conrad Fisherman.)

Dr. Jekyll returns to his own remote Austrian castle. He’s soon joined by his innocent niece Melissa (Agnes Spaak). Melissa is searching for her father, Andros (played by Hugo Blanco). What she doesn’t know is that Dr. Jekyll earlier caught Andros in bed with Jekyll’s wife, Inglud (Luisa Sala). Jekyll murdered Andros. This led to Inglud becoming an alcoholic.

However, thanks to the teachings of Dr. Orloff, Jekyll knows how to bring Andros back to life. Unfortunately, the reanimated Andros is a hulking monster who Conrad uses to kill all of his former mistresses. It turns out that Inglud wasn’t the only one who had trouble sticking to marriage vows. Soon, Inspector Klein (Pastor Serrado) is investigating a growing number of nightclub-related murders. Inspector Klein is also falling in love with Melissa, which has the potential to make things more than a bit awkward.

Dr. Orloff’s Monster (which is also known as The Mistresses of Dr. Jekyll) was Franco’s first sequel to The Awful Dr. Orlof and it was also the tenth film that was he was credited with directing. (As Franco was a prolific filmmaker who used a huge amount of pseudonyms and whose films were often released under several different titles, we will probably never have a definite answer on how many films he actually directed over the course of his long career.) Particularly when compared to Franco’s later films, Dr. Orloff’s Monster seems rather restrained. As always with Franco, there’s a bit of nudity and an emphasis on murder but the violence is rather bloodless and the usual Franco perversions are hinted at without being explicitly shown. Instead, with this film, Franco emphasizes atmosphere over shock. The black-and-white cinematography creates the feel of a perfect noir, with Andros emerging from the shadows to attack his victims and then retreating back into the darkness. This, along with a deliberate pace and Franco’s frequent use of close-ups, gives Dr. Orloff’s Monster the feeling of a languid but menacing dream. With this film, Franco fills the screen with nightmarish ennui.

Unfortunately, the film suffers due to the absence of Franco’s usual villain, the great Howard Vernon. Vernon always brought a hint of old world decadence to his performances and the rather bland Marcelo Arroita-Jáuregui is simply not as interesting as Dr. Jekyll. Despite his death at the start of the film, Dr. Orloff would appear in other Franco films and, fortunately, Howard Vernon would return to play him.

A Blast From The Past: The Four Troublesome Heads (by Georges Melies)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With the arrival of both October and our annual horrorthon, today’s Blast From The Past is here to help us get in the mood with some head action.

In this short film, director Georges Milies plays a magician who can remove his head. Fear not! When he removes his head, another head quickly appears on his shoulder. Pretty soon, our magician has one head on his shoulders and three other heads chatting away on a table. Everything’s fine until it’s discovered that, apparently, the heads aren’t very talented when it comes to singing.

Obviously, today, we know how camera tricks like this are done. We tend to take them for granted. But consider this, when watching The Four Troublesome Heads: this film was made in 1898. At a time when the movies themselves seemed like an act of magic, Georges Melies was removing his head and then trying to perform a song.

Yes, this the same Georges Melies who was played by Ben Kingsley in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo. That’s a great film, by the way. It marks the only time that Christopher Lee appeared in a Scorsese film. Go watch it, if you haven’t already.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #223: Black Eagle (dir by Eric Karson)

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 1988 “action” film, Black Eagle!

Why Was I Watching It?

Last night, I watched Black Eagle as a part of the Monday Action Movie live tweet. Going into the film, I knew that it starred Sho Kosugi and Jean-Claude Van Damme and that was enough for me. As the film started, I was happy to see that it took place in Malta. I spent the summer after I graduated from high school in Europe and I spent a few days visiting Malta, its museums, and especially its beaches. I have good memories of the Malta days and especially the Malta nights.

What Was It About?

I’m not really sure what the film was about. I watched all 100 minutes of it and, as far as I could tell, an American airplane crashed off the coast of Malta so the CIA brought in Ken Tani (Sho Kosugi) to dive into the sea and retrieve something important from the plane. However, a Russian named Andrei (Jean-Claude Van Damme) also wanted whatever it was that was on the plane so he and his people ended up chasing Ken all over Malta, an island that I have visited.

Ken was also on vacation so, when he wasn’t killing people, he was hanging out with his two sons, Brian (Kane Kosugi) and Denny (Shane Kosugi). The CIA helpfully sent along one of their agents, Patricia Parker (Doran Clark), and she acted a sort of nanny while Ken was busy fighting the Russians. Also helping Ken was a Jesuit (Bruce French) who also happened to be an explosive expert. I don’t think the Vatican would approve of a priest blowing up boats and building but everyone knows better than to argue with a Jesuit.

What Worked?

Jean-Claude Van Damme didn’t really do much in this movie but he still looked good and he got to do the splits a few times. In fact, it was kind of funny to watch him actively search out any possible excuse to do a split. I had a lot of fun imagining that Andrei only became an international spy so that he could show off his gymnastic abilities. It’s too bad he missed out on Gymkata.

The Maltese scenery was lovely, even if the film itself was a bit grainy. Have I mentioned that I’ve been to Malta?

What Did Not Work?

Oh, that Sho Kosugi. He was great when he was fighting people and tossing them off of buildings but whenever he had to actually deliver dialogue and try to show emotion …. AGCK! There’s a reason why Sho Kosugi’s most popular American films — Enter the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination — feature him playing a villain. Even when Kosugi was acting opposite his children, he seemed to be in a fairly bad mood.

At one point, Ken asked the priest how he became an expert in demolitions. “Ever hear of a place called Vietnam,” the Jesuit replied and I groaned as I realized that Ken had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. If there’s one thing that I understand as a result of being raised Catholic, it’s that you never ask a Jesuit for his origin story unless you’ve got a few hours to kill.

To be honest, the film could have used even more scenes about Malta, a lovely place of which I have many good memories.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve been to Malta.

Lessons Learned

Definitely go to Malta if you get a chance.

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: The Mid 50s

Posted on October 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films. I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we take a look at the mid-50s!

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: The Mid 50s