Horror Film Review: House of Dark Shadows (dir by Dan Curtis)


There’s a lot that you can say about this vampire film from 1970 but I think it can all be summed up with one word: relentless.

A lot of this is because House of Dark Shadows is a film adaptation of a daytime drama.  Over the course of six sesons, Dark Shadows ran for a total of 1,220 episodes.  That’s a lot of story to cram into a 97-minute film but director Dan Curtis does just that.  The end result is an incredibly busy film and I mean that in the best way possible.

Seriously, there are so many twists and turns in this film’s plot that it’s difficult to even know where to begin.  This is one of the most incident-filled horror films that I’ve ever seen.  No sooner does one plotline resolve itself than another begins.  Meanwhile, a surprisingly large cast wanders through the shadows and tries not to get transformed into a vampire.  Most of them do not succeed.

See if you can keep all of this straight:

In Maine, a lowlife handyman named Willie (John Karlen, giving the film’s best performance) breaks into a mausoleum and approaches a coffin that’s covered with chains.  Willie thinks that there’s a treasure hidden in the coffin but, after he removes the chains, he instead discovers that he’s stumbled across the home of a vampire!  Barnabas Collin (Jonathan Frid, who perfectly combines old world manners with thinly veiled menace) has spent 175 years trapped in that coffin and now that he’s been released, he’s not in a very good mood.

Soon, Barnabas has introduced himself to his descendants (including Joan Bennett, as Elizabeth, the family matriarch) as a cousin from England.  Everyone is impressed with Barnabas’s charm and courtly style.  Of course, some people are a little bit skeptical.  Prof. Stokes (Thayer David) notices that Barnabas doesn’t seem to know much about London while Dr. Hoffman (Grayson Hall) flat out accuses Barnabas of being a vampire.  Barnabas admits that this is true but fear not!  Dr. Hoffman’s fallen in love with him and wants to help cure him.

Meanwhile, everyone in town is growing concerned about all of the bloodless bodies that are showing up.  They especially get worried after Elizabeth’s daughter, Carolyn (Nancy Barrett), dies and then promptly comes back to life, complete with her own set of fangs….

While the town concerns itself with what to do about Carolyn, Barnabas has fallen in love with a nanny named Maggie (Kathryn Leigh Scott), who he thinks is the reincarnation of his former lover.  Unfortunately, Maggie already has a boyfriend named Jeff (Roger Davis) but when has the ever been a problem for a vampire?  Far more of a problem than Jeff is the fact that Willie is also in love with Maggie and Dr. Hoffman is so jealous of Barnabas’s love for Maggie that she’s willing to inject him with a formula that causes him to transform into an elderly man….

And all that’s just in the first hour!

Needless to say, it all leads to one final, gore-filled confrontation.  When I say that this film is gory, I mean just that.  Blood isn’t just spilled in House of Dark Shadows.  Instead, it flows like water busting out of a cracked dam.  When Barnabas bites a victim, he doesn’t just leave two neat little puncture marks.  Instead, he literally rips their neck to shreds.  Just how savage Barnabas and Carolyn get in this film is one of the things that sets House of Dark Shadows apart from other vampire films.  As opposed to the type of tragic figure who shows up in so many vampire films, Barnabas is ruthless, cruel, and unforgiving.  He’s a genuinely frightening creation.

House of Dark Shadows is a chaotic movie but it’s also a lot of fun.  This is one of those films that you watch in amazement as it just keeps going and going, piling on one incident after another.  Does the film always make sense?  No, but it doesn’t have to.  Quickly paced and featuring nonstop gore and fog, the film has a dream-like feel to it.  Curtis and the cast attack the material with such unbridled enthusiasm that it doesn’t matter if the plot occasionally doesn’t always add up or if the dialogue is occasionally a bit clumsy.  It’s impossible not to get swept along with the film’s insanity.

Probably because of its television roots, House of Dark Shadows is often dismissed by critics.  (I’ve never seen any old episodes of the show so I can’t say how the movie compares to it.)  Well, those dismissive critics are wrong.  House of Dark Shadows is one of my favorite vampire films and it’s definitely one that deserves to be rediscovered.

(And yes, it’s a helluva lot better than that movie that Tim Burton made with Johnny Depp….)

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayThrillerClub, #FridayNightFlix, and #FridayHeretics For An Epic Live Tweet


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, I will filling in for Matthew Titus and hosting #FridayThrillerClub and #FridayHeretics as well!  So, that’s going to be three live tweets in a row.  What are we going to be watching?  I’m glad you asked.

#FridayThillerClub starts at 7:30 pm et with 1987’s Angel Heart!  Mickey Rourke is a detective.  Robert De Niro is a very special client.  This atmospheric and controversial mix of noir and horror was directed by Alan Parker!

#FridayNightFlix follows at 10 pm et, with 1981’s Full Moon High!  In this comedy, a teen becomes a werewolf!  You might even say that he’s a …. teen wolf!

Then, at 12:30 am et, it’s time for #FridayHeretics!  This week’s film will be 1976’s Burnt Offerings, starring Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis, and a house that just want stop killing.

All three of these films are on Prime and everyone is invited to join us on twitter for tonight’s epic three-part live tweet!

See you there!

Horror on the Lens: The Last Man on Earth (dir. by Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow)


Hi there and Happy October 28th!  For today’s treat from the ranks of horror films that have fallen into the public domain, I present to you one of the most important films in horror history.  Though it wasn’t appreciated when it was first  released back in 1964, The Last Man On Earth was not only the 1st Italian horror film but George Romero has also acknowledged it as an influence on his own Night of the Living Dead.

It’s easy to be a little bit dismissive of The Last Man On Earth.  After all, the low-budget is obvious in every scene, the dubbing is off even by the standards of Italian horror, and just the name “Vincent Price” in the credits leads one to suspect that this will be another campy, B-movie.  Perhaps that’s why I’m always surprised to rediscover that, taking all things into consideration, this is actually a pretty effective film.  Price does have a few over-the-top moments but, for the most part, he gives one of his better performances here and the black-and-white images have an isolated, desolate starkness to them that go a long way towards making this film’s apocalypse a convincing one.  The mass cremation scene always leaves me feeling rather uneasy.

The film is based on Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend and no, it’s nowhere as good as the book.  However, it’s a lot better than the Will Smith version.

If you have 87 minutes to kill, please enjoy The Last Man On The Earth.

October Positivity: Brother Enemy (dir by Russell Doughten Jr.)


This 75-minute indie film from 1981 was directed by Russell Daughten, who also directed Nite Song and Face In The Mirror.

After losing his wife and his son in a car accident, Dave Weimer (William Wellman, Jr.) rebuilds his life by starting the most successful Christian puppet show in Iowa.  He has been invited back to his hometown so that he can put on a special charity performance at the high school gym.  Unfortunately, because Dave is going to need a lot of time to rehearse, this means that basketball practice has been canceled for a month!

The town’s teenagers are not happy about this.  For one thing, they’re really not sure who Dave Weimer is and they’re convinced that they are all way too old for puppets.  Why should they have to miss out on basketball for a kid’s show!?  So, a group of them get together and break into Dave’s workshop.  They destroy all of his puppets.  They also get arrested, even the little girl who was only there because her dumb older brother was supposed to be babysitting her!

The judge wants to throw the book at them but Dave has another idea.  He wants them to be put on two months probation and he wants to be their probation officer.  He wants the kids to build their own puppets and then put on their own biblically-inspired show.  Basically, their punishment is to do the show that Dave was originally planning on doing….

At first, no one is excited about doing a puppet show.  But it’s either that or go to juvenile hall.  The teens decide to do a show based on the story of the Prodigal Son.  One-by-one, they all let their guard down and open up to Dave.  Soon, the puppet show becomes less community service and more of a bible study.  However, Todd — the leader of the gang — is still angry and he plots to destroy the puppets once again….

Uhmmm, yeah.

Well, this was an interesting one.  On the one hand, the puppets were cute and I usually like movies in which a group of people suddenly have to put on a show.  On the other hand, Dave was kind of a creepy character.  Dave was played by William Wellman, Jr, a character actor who, before he became a regular in Daughten’s films, was best-known for appearing in biker films and the occasional war film.  (He appeared in several Billy Jack films.  He was a biker in Born Losers and a national guardsman in The Trial of Billy Jack.)  Wellman was well-cast as bikers and soldiers because he always came across as being very tightly wound and intense.  From the minute Wellman showed up on screen, he always seemed like he was just a few minutes from exploding.  Again, that’s a good trait for a biker but it’s not as good a trait for the creator of a Christian puppet show.  Wellman was a good actor but he just seems miscast here and, as a result, something always seems to be a little off about Dave.

As for the cast, I imagine they were largely amateurs or else actors drawn from the Des Moines theatrical community.  For the most part, the teenagers do better than the adults.  Like other Daughten films, Brother Enemy is almost painfully sincere.  Still, it’s hard not to watch the movie and feel that a lot of trouble could have been avoided if Dave had just had enough sense to lock the door of his workshop.

Horror On TV: Tales From The Crypt 5.7 “House of Horror” (dir by Bob Gale)


Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is the 7th episode of the 5th season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!  

House of Horrors has everything that you could possibly want from a Tales From The Crypt episode!  A dumbass idiot frat boy (played by Kevin Dillon) forces three pledges to enter  a supposedly haunted house.  Mayhem ensues.  This episode is full of atmosphere, dark humor, plot twists, and unexpected turns and it features two wonderfully over-the-top performances, one from Dillon and one from Meredith Salenger as a Southern-accented sorority president who may have a secret of her own.

This episode originally aired on October 27th, 1993 and is currently celebrating its 30th birthday.

Enjoy!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (dir by Herbert L. Strock)


“I was a teenage Frankenstein!”

“Of course you were, dear.”

Sadly, that dialogue does not appear in I Was A Teenage Frankenstein.  Oh well, we can’t have everything….

This 1957 film tells the story of Professor Frankenstein (Whit Bissell), an English scientist who comes to America and promptly sets about trying to create his own creature.  I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, considering that his name is Frankenstein and all.  I mean, when you’ve got a name like that, there are certain expectations that you have to live up to.  You’re not going to become a stand-up comedian or the janitor at the local grocery store.  When you’ve got a name like that, you’re expected to tamper in God’s domain and screw things up.  With a famous name comes great expectations.  Frankenstein …. Kennedy …. Kardashian …. it’s pretty much all the same.

Anyway, the professor is lucky enough to come across a fatal car crash.  This supplies him with exactly the dead body that he needs.  He takes the corpse to his laboratory where, with help of some spare body parts that he just happened to have lying around, he manages to bring the dead teenager back to life!

There’s just one problem.

The teenager (played by Gary Conway) now looks like this:

Yep, Teenage Frankenstein is definitely not ready for his public debut.  No one’s happy about this.  Not the professor.  Not the professor’s assistant.  Even the professor’s secretary is upset about what’s going on in the laboratory.  Not even the alligator that Prof. Frankenstein for some reason keeps around the lab is particularly happy about how the operation turned out.

What’s a Teenage Frankenstein to do?  Well, he can always sneak out of the lab but, whenever he does, it seems like someone inevitably ends up dead.  Obviously, Prof. Frankenstein is going to have to find a new face for his creation but from where?  Well, luckily, there is a lover’s lane nearby….

I Was A Teenage Frankenstein was produce by American International Pictures to capitalize on the success of I Was A Teenage Werewolf.  (Whit Bissell plays a mad scientist in both movies and gets the best line in It Was A Teenager Frankenstein when he yells, “Answer me!  You have a civil tongue in your head!  I know, I sewed it in there!”)  Unfortunately, while the monster makeup is indeed impressive, I Was A Teenage Frankenstein is never as much fun as I Was A Teenage Werewolf.  While the teenage werewolf had an entire town to explore, Teenage Frankenstein is pretty much stuck in that lab.  Whereas the teenage werewolf spent his movie running wild, Teenage Frankenstein spends all of his time doing whatever the professor orders him to do.  As a result, I Was A Teenage Frankenstein is a much slower film and also lacks the rebellious subtext of I Was A Teenage Werewolf.

That said, I Was A Teenage Werewolf was enough of a box office success that both the werewolf and the Frankenstein makeup were later used in How To Make A Monster.

Film Review: The Good Nurse (dir by Tobias Lindholm)


It’s suspected that Charles Cullen might be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history.

He’s currently sitting in prison, serving 18 consecutive life sentences.  (For those keeping track, he’ll be eligible for parole in the 25th Century.)  In order to avoid getting the death penalty, Cullen confessed to killing 29 people in New Jersey and Pennsylvania.  It is thought that, between the years 1988 and 2003, he actually killed over 400 people.  What made Cullen’s crimes especially horrifying is that he was a nurse and his victims were his patients.  When Cullen first confessed, he tried to portray himself as being a mercy killer, someone who only murdered those who would have no quality of life.  Cullen also claimed that he had been traumatized the first time that he saw a team of doctors fail to resuscitate a patient so he would specifically give overdoses to terminal patients so that they could die both with dignity and without leaving him traumatized.  It was subsequently discovered that few of Cullen’s victims had been terminally ill and that many of them were actually only a day or two away from being discharged from the hospital when Cullen killed them.  Cullen later said that many of his murders were impulsive acts and he wasn’t sure why he had committed them.  In the end, no one can be sure what drove Cullen to commit his murders.

Even before he was arrested, Cullen had developed a bad reputation as a nurse who lost a lot of patients.  He moved from hospital to hospital and he seemed to generate suspicion wherever he went.  Cullen would leave the hospitals whenever it became apparent that anyone was investigating any of the deaths in which he had been involved.  The hospitals were usually happy to be rid of him.  Despite all of the suspicions about him, no one ever tried to stop Cullen from getting another job.  Why risk getting sued for having had Cullen on staff when you could just dump him off on another hospital?

The Good Nurse, which just dropped on Netflix this week, stars Eddie Redmayne as Charles Cullen and Jessica Chastain as Amy Loughren, the nurse who worked with Cullen at his final place of employment.  In the film, Amy is workaholic single mother who needs a heart transplant but who still finds time to show compassion to the patients in the ICU.  She is, as the title states, the good nurse.  When Charles Cullen shows up to work the night shift, she is happy for the help and she takes an immediate liking to the polite and seemingly hardworking Cullen.  Just like Amy, Cullen has two daughters and they bond over their struggles to be both good nurses and good parents.  Cullen tells Amy about how his former coworkers were always plotting against him.  Amy, somewhat naively, invites Cullen to come to her house to meet her daughters.  But when patients start to die, Amy soon suspects that Cullen is responsible.  When she ends up as a patient in the hospital and is faced with the horrifying prospect of Charles Cullen being her nurse, Amy goes to the police and offers to to help them build their case against her former friend.

The Good Nurse is a typical Netflix true crime movie, complete with the slightly washed-out look that almost all of these films seem to share.  The film does a good of capturing the isolation of an ICU ward at night.  With only a handful of nurses and patients on the floor, it’s easy to see how someone like Charles Cullen could have committed his crimes without being caught.  Indeed, some of the film’s most disturbing moments are when Cullen appears to literally emerge from the dark shadows of the ICU ward, like some sort of ghostly hunter seeking his prey.  At the same time, there’s a few moments where the movie feels more like an extra-long episode of Law & Order than a feature film.  Noah Emmerich and Nnamdi Asomugha play the two detectives who are assigned to investigate Cullen’s crimes and their scenes often feel as if they could have been lifted from a dozen other similar true crime films.

As Amy, Jessica Chastain is well-cast, though the role itself is somewhat underwritten.  The film is stolen by Eddie Redmayne, who plays Charles Cullen with an intensity that is frightening to behold at times.  As played by Redmayne, Cullen is creepy from the first time that we see him but, at the same time, Redmayne plays the role with just enough needy charm that the viewer can understand how he was able to fool so many people at so many hospitals.  Redmayne plays Cullen as man who is incapable of compassion but who has learned how to fake it.  It’s only towards the end of the film that Cullen allows his mask to slip and what we see underneath is terrifying.  Eddie Redmayne brings to life a truly evil man, someone who is all the more nightmarish because he really exists.

In the end, The Good Nurse suffers from the same problem as Netflix’s Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile.  It attempts to comprehend an evil that is beyond normal comprehension.  In the end, both films suggest that there’s no real way to understand what motivates a Ted Bundy or a Charles Cullen.  Instead, all one can do is remain vigilant and hope they’ll be stopped before they can cause any more pain. Cullen is in prison for life.  Bundy got the electric chair.  Both of them left behind many questions that will never be answered.

Retro Television Review: City Guys 2.5 “The Divorce” and 2.6 “Bully, Bully”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

As season two of City Guys continues, Chris’s parents finally get a divorce and El-Train is tempted to return his old ways!

It’s all a part of rolling with the city guys….

Episode 2.5 “The Divorce”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 10th, 1998)

After spending the first season constantly fighting, Chris’s parents are finally getting a divorce.  Chris has a hard time dealing with the divorce, so much so that it starts to interfere with Chris’s ability to work at the radio station.  “Show’s over, people!” Chris snaps at one point, “go play your own music!”  You tell them, Chris!

Last week, I wrote about what a good job Wesley Jonathan did in the “Jamal Got His Gun” episode.  This week, it’s time to praise Scott Whyte, who does a very good job capturing Chris’s emotional turmoil over his parents splitting up.  Both Jonathan and Whyte obviously developed quite a bit as actors before the start of City Guys‘s second season because it’s hard to imagine either one of them giving as good a performance during the first season.

Anyway, this episode was well-done but the main storyline brought back a lot of memories of how I felt when my parents got divorced so let’s talk about the B-storyline, in which Dawn struggled to keep her electronic pet from dying ….. awwwww!  That’s so sad.  Okay, let’s think about the C-storyline, where Al and El-Train both got jobs.  So far, Al has been a good deal less annoying during season 2 than he was during season 1.

Finally, I have to say that I really related to Cassidy in this episode.  When she dropped in to see how Chris was doing, she immediately started cleaning his bedroom.  I would have done the same because there’s no excuse for not picking up after yourself.  While Cassidy is cleaning, Chris makes a joke about all the time that he’s spent watching Judge Judy.  Seriously, Judge Judy has been around forever!

Episode 2.6 “Bully, Bully”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 17th, 1998)

After the newest school bully steals Al’s basketball, El-Train takes care of the situation by punching out the bully.  El-Train finds himself tempted to return to his old violent ways and that’s not surprising when you consider how the audience cheered when he threw that punch.

Fortunately, Ms. Noble has more sense than the audience and she tells El-Train not to return to his old ways.  She also mentions that El-Train is the class president so at least that season one cliffhanger has finally been resolved.  Anyway, it all leads to a slow motion fight scene and El-Train announcing that he was no longer into senseless violence.

It’s all a bit heavy-handed but Steven Daniel’s performance as El-Train remains as strong as ever.  And how can you not enjoy an episode with this much slow motion?  Slow motion makes everything better!

Horror Scenes That I Love: Jesse Is Transformed In The Neon Demon


Today’s scene is from Nicolas Winding Refn’s 2016 masterpiece, The Neon Demon.  Elle Fanning is transformed into …. well, watch the movie to find out.

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: 2015 — 2016


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we take a look at 2015 and 2016!

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: 2015 — 2016

Crimson Peak (2015, dir by Guillermo Del Toro, DP: Dan Lausten)

The Belko Experiment (2016, dir by Greg McLean, DP: Luis David Sansas)

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016, dir by Andre Ovredal, DP: Roman Osin)

The Neon Demon (2016, dir by Nicholas Winding Refn, DP: Natalie Baier)