Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Here Are The 2023 Nominations of the North Texas Film Critics Association!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are the 2023 nominations of the North Texas Film Critics Association!  This group, of which I’m still not a member, will be announcing their winners on December 14th.

BEST PICTURE
American Fiction
Barbie
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things
Saltburn

BEST ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio – Killers of the Flower Moon
Paul Giamatti – The Holdovers
Barry Keoghan – Saltburn
Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer
Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction

BEST ACTRESS
Lily Gladstone – Killers of the Flower Moon
Greta Lee – Past Lives
Margot Robbie – Barbie
Cailee Spaeny – Priscilla
Emma Stone – Poor Things

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Willem Dafoe – Poor Things
Robert De Niro – Killers of the Flower Moon
Robert Downey Jr. – Oppenheimer
Ryan Gosling – Barbie
Glenn Howerton – Blackberry
Mark Ruffalo – Poor Things
Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Emily Blunt – Oppenheimer
America Ferrera – Barbie
Rachel McAdams – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Rosamund Pike – Saltburn
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers

BEST DIRECTOR
Emerald Fennell – Saltburn
Greta Gerwig – Barbie
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
Christopher Nolan – Oppenheimer
Alexander Payne – The Holdovers
Martin Scorsese – Killers of the Flower Moon

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Anatomy of a Fall
Godland
Perfect Days
The Taste of Things
The Zone of Interest

BEST DOCUMENTARY FILM
20 Days in Mariupol
American Symphony
Beyond Utopia
A Disturbance in the Force
Judy Blume Forever
Little Richard: I Am Everything
The Mission
Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie

BEST ANIMATED FILM
The Boy and the Heron
Elemental
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Wish

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Robert Yeoman – Asteroid City
Rodrigo Prieto – Barbie
Rodrigo Prieto – Killers of the Flower Moon
Dariusz Wolski – Napoleon
Hoyte van Hoytema – Oppenheimer
Robbie Ryan – Poor Things
Linus Sandgren – Saltburn

BEST NEWCOMER
Halle Bailey – The Little Mermaid/The Color Purple
Abby Ryder Fortson – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Charles Melton – May December
Allison Oliver – Saltburn
Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers

BEST SCREENPLAY
Alex Convery – Air
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
David Hemingson – The Holdovers
Christopher Nolan – Oppenheimer
Celine Song – Past Lives

GARY MURRAY AWARD (BEST ENSEMBLE)
Air
Asteroid City
The Holdovers
The Iron Claw
Oppenheimer
Saltburn

Here Are The 2023 Nominations of the Indiana Film Journalists Association!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Indiana Film Journalists Association announced their nominations for the best of 2023 today.  The winners will be announced on December 18th.

I like the IFJA nominations because they nominate every single movie that they like, without limiting themselves.  This may be the only critics group to nominate Godzilla Minus One for Best Picture.

BEST FILM
American Fiction
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Asteroid City
Barbie
Beau is Afraid
BlackBerry
Dream Scenario
Fair Play
Godzilla Minus One
The Holdovers
John Wick: Chapter 4
The Killer
Killers of the Flower Moon
May December
Oppenheimer
Past Lives
Poor Things
Robot Dreams
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
A Thousand and One

BEST ANIMATED FILM
The Boy and the Heron
Nimona
Robot Dreams
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Suzume

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Anatomy of a Fall
The Boy and the Heron
Godzilla Minus One
Monster (2023)
Past Lives
Pathaan
The Promised Land (2023)
Suzume
When Evil Lurks
The Zone of Interest

BEST DOCUMENTARY
20 Days in Mariupol
American Symphony
Beyond Utopia
Greener Pastures
Kokomo City
Lakota Nation vs. United States
Turn Every Page — The Adventures of Robert Caro and Robert Gottlieb

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Wes Anderson (screenplay / story) and Roman Coppola (story), Asteroid City
Kristoffer Borgli, Dream Scenario
Samy Burch (screenplay / story) and Alex Mechanik (story), May December
Chloe Domont, Fair Play
David Hemingson, The Holdovers
A.V. Rockwell, A Thousand and One
Emma Seligman and Rachel Sennott, Bottoms
Celine Song, Past Lives

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Ari Aster, Beau is Afraid
Kelly Fremon Craig, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, Barbie
Daniel Goldhaber, Ariela Barer and Jordan Sjol, How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Cord Jefferson, American Fiction
Phil Lord, Christopher Miller and David Callaham, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Tony McNamara, Poor Things
Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer
Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon
M. Night Shyamalan, Steve Desmond & Michael Sherman, Knock at the Cabin

BEST DIRECTOR
Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
David Fincher, The Killer (2023)
Greta Gerwig, Barbie
Todd Haynes, May December
Yorgos Lanthimos, Poor Things
Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer
Alexander Payne, The Holdovers
Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon
Celine Song, Past Lives
Chad Stahelski, John Wick: Chapter 4

BEST LEAD PERFORMANCE
Nicolas Cage, Dream Scenario
Leonardo DiCaprio, Killers of the Flower Moon
Colman Domingo, Rustin
Phoebe Dynevor, Fair Play
Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers
Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon
Glenn Howerton, BlackBerry
Greta Lee, Past Lives
Carey Mulligan, Maestro
Cillian Murphy, Oppenheimer
Joaquin Phoenix, Beau is Afraid
Natalie Portman, May December
Margot Robbie, Barbie
Emma Stone, Poor Things
Teyana Taylor, A Thousand and One
Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction

BEST SUPPORTING PERFORMANCE
Willem Dafoe, Poor Things
Viola Davis, Air
Robert De Niro, Killers of the Flower Moon
Robert Downey, Jr., Oppenheimer
Ryan Gosling, Barbie
Rachel McAdams, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Charles Melton, May December
Da’Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers
Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things
Dominic Sessa, The Holdovers

BEST VOCAL / MOTION-CAPTURE PERFORMANCE
Jack Black, The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Oscar Isaac, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Shameik Moore, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Chloë Grace Moretz, Nimona
Hailee Steinfeld, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

BEST ENSEMBLE ACTING
Air
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Asteroid City
Barbie
Beau is Afraid
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things
A Thousand and One

BEST EDITING
Michael Andrews, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Kirk Baxter, The Killer
Daniel Garber, How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Jennifer Lame, Oppenheimer
Curt Lobb, BlackBerry
Yorgos Mavropsaridis, Poor Things
Nathan Orloff, John Wick: Chapter 4
Franklin Peterson, Fair Play
Thelma Schoonmaker, Killers of the Flower Moon
Michelle Tesoro, Maestro

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Dan Laustsen, John Wick: Chapter 4
Matthew Libatique, Maestro
Erik Messerschmidt, The Killer
Pawel Pogorzelski, Beau is Afraid
Rodrigo Prieto, Killers of the Flower Moon
Robbie Ryan, Poor Things
Linus Sandgren, Saltburn
Hoyte van Hoytema, Oppenheimer
Robert Yeoman, Asteroid City
Łukasz Żal, The Zone of Interest

BEST MUSICAL SCORE
Gavin Brivik, How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Alexandre Desplat, Asteroid City
Jerskin Fendrix, Poor Things
Ludwig Göransson, Oppenheimer
Daniel Pemberton, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, The Killer
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Robbie Robertson, Killers of the Flower Moon
Naoki Satō, Godzilla Minus One
Marcelo Zarvos, May December

BEST STUNT / MOVEMENT CHOREOGRAPHY
Laurent Demianoff (fight / stunt coordinator), John Wick: Chapter 4
Wade Eastwood (stunt coordinator) and Wolfgang Stegemann (fight coordinator), Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning, Part One
Deven MacNair (stunt coordinator), Bottoms
Constanza Macras (choreographer), Poor Things
Noon Orsatti, Shane Habberstad, Leoš Stránský, Stanimir Stamatov and Thayr Harris (stunt coordinators) and Travis Gomez (fight choreographer) & Sunny Sun (fight coordinator), Extraction 2
Marcus Shakesheff (stunt coordinator) and Alison Faulk & Luke Broadlick (choreographers), Magic Mike’s Last Dance
Jennifer White (choreographer) and Lisa Welham (associate choreographer), Barbie

BREAKOUT OF THE YEAR
Josiah Cross (performer), A Thousand and One
Chloe Domont (writer-director), Fair Play
Daniel Goldhaber (director / co-writer), How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Cord Jefferson (writer-director), American Fiction
Marshawn Lynch (performer), Bottoms
Charles Melton (performer, May December
Dominic Sessa (performer), The Holdovers
Celine Song (writer-director), Past Lives
Iman Vellani (performer), The Marvels

ORIGINAL VISION
Barbie
Beau is Afraid
Dream Scenario
Enys Men
Infinity Pool
Poor Things
Robot Dreams
Smoking Causes Coughing

Chicago Honors The Killers Of The Flower Moon!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Chicago Film Critics Association have announced their picks for the best of 2023!  The winners are listed in bold.

BEST PICTURE
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
May December
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

BEST DIRECTOR
Greta Gerwig – Barbie
Todd Haynes – May December
Yorgos Lanthimos – Poor Things
Christopher Nolan – Oppenheimer
Martin Scorsese – Killers of the Flower Moon

BEST ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio – Killers of the Flower Moon
Paul Giamatti – The Holdovers
Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer
Andrew Scott – All of Us Strangers
Teo Yoo – Past Lives

BEST ACTRESS
Lily Gladstone – Killers of the Flower Moon
Sandra Huller – Anatomy of a Fall
Natalie Portman – May December
Margot Robbie – Barbie
Emma Stone – Poor Things

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Robert Downey Jr. – Oppenheimer
Ryan Gosling – Barbie
Glenn Howerton – BlackBerry
Charles Melton – May December
Mark Ruffalo – Poor Things

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jodie Foster – Nyad
Sandra Huller – The Zone of Interest
Rachel McAdams – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Julianne Moore – May December
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Anatomy of a Fall – Arthur Harari & Justine Triet
Barbie – Greta Gerwig
The Holdovers – David Hemingson
May December – Samy Burch
Past Lives – Celine Song

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. – Kelly Fremon Craig
Killers of the Flower Moon – Eric Roth & Martin Scorsese
Oppenheimer – Christopher Nolan
Poor Things – Tony McNamara
The Zone of Interest – Jonathan Glazer

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
The Boy and the Heron
Leo
Robot Dreams
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

BEST DOCUMENTARY
20 Days in Mariupol
Beyond Utopia
Kokomo City
Menus-Plaisirs – Les Troisgros
Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Anatomy of a Fall
The Boy and the Heron
Godzilla Minus One
The Teachers’ Lounge
The Zone of Interest

MILOS STEHLIK AWARD FOR BREAKTHROUGH FILMMAKER
Kyle Edward Ball – Skinamarink
Raven Jackson – All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
A.V. Rockwell – A Thousand and One
Celine Song – Past Lives

MOST PROMISING PERFORMER
Abby Ryder Fortson – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Milo Machado Graner – Anatomy of a Fall
Charles Melton – May December
Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers
Teo Yoo – Past Lives

BEST ART DIRECTION/PRODUCTION DESIGN
Asteroid City
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Asteroid City – Robert D. Yeoman
Killers of the Flower Moon – Rodrigo Prieto
Oppenheimer – Hoyte Van Hoytema
Poor Things – Robbie Ryan
The Zone of Interest – Lukasz Zal

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Asteroid City – Milena Canonero
Barbie – Jacqueline Durran
Killers of the Flower Moon – Jacqueline West
Poor Things – Holly Waddington
Priscilla – Stacey Battat

BEST EDITING
All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
John Wick: Chapter 4
Killers of the Flower Moon
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One
Oppenheimer

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Barbie – Mark Ronson & Andrew Wyatt
Killers of the Flower Moon – Robbie Robertson
Oppenheimer – Ludwig Goransson
Poor Things – Jerskin Fendrix
The Zone of Interest – Mica Levi

BEST USE OF VISUAL EFFECTS
Barbie
Godzilla Minus One
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.4 “Don Quixote/The Sex Goddess”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week’s journey to Fantasy Island is oddly unpleasant.

Episode 4.4 “Don Quixote/The Sex Goddess”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on November 15th, 1980)

As always, this episode opens with “the plane, the plane” landing at Fantasy Island and Mr. Roarke and Tattoo heading out to meet their guests.  Unfortunately, as has been the case since the since the third season, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo no longer share any sort of playful banter before meeting the guests.  In fact, Roarke often seems to refuse to even look at Tattoo while speaking to him.  It’s awkward to watch because the dislike between Ricardo Montalban and Heve Villechaize is obvious whenever they share a scene.  It’s something that is easy to joke about while talking about the show but it’s far more unpleasant to actually witness.

Of course, this entire episode is rather unpleasant, which is a shame because Fantasy Island‘s greatest strength as a show was that watching it was usually a pleasant and undemanding way to spend an hour.

Take, for instance, the fantasy of Helen Hendrix (Phyllis Davis).  Helen’s fantasy is to become a “sex goddess.”  Tattoo expresses disbelief that the pretty but far from glamorous Helen could ever be a sex goddess but Roarke reminds Tattoo that, on Fantasy Island, all things are possible.  Roarke then says that Helen doesn’t realize that her fantasy could be a “a very dangerous fantasy.”

Well, Mr. Roarke, if it’s so dangerous, why did you agree to allow her to come to the Island?  In the past, Mr. Roarke has mentioned turning down many requests for fantasies.  He is apparently the final judge on whether or not someone will get their fantasy.  (Even when Tattoo granted a fantasy to someone who Roarke previously turned down, it was suggested that it was all a part of Roarke’s master plan.)  If the fantasy is so dangerous, why give it to Helen?  What is Mr. Roarke’s legal liability if someone gets killed while experiencing their fantasy?

Anyway, Mr. Roarke gives Helen a blue potion and when she drinks it, she becomes a blonde, starts wearing makeup, and gets a dress that’s far more flattering and low-cut than the borderline Amish outfit she was wearing when she first arrived at the Island.  She is now an internationally famous sex goddess, which unfortunately leads to her being kidnapped by three men (Michael Callan, Edd Byrnes, and Don Stroud) and held hostage on a neighboring island.  Eventually, Helen realizes that she’s going to have flirt her way out of captivity, which leads to a smitten Don Stroud helping her to escape.  Or, at least, he does until the potion wears off and Helen goes back being a brunette.  Stroud is shocked but, before he can strangle her, Roarke shows up and whisks Helen back to the Island.

Seriously, what a thoroughly unpleasant fantasy.  Helen comes to the island because she wants to know what it’s like to be famous and sexy and Roarke essentially allows her to be kidnapped by three men who apparently are planning on trafficking her.  Indeed, Roarke seems to suggest that this is Helen’s fault for wanting to be attractive in the first place.  Personally, I think Helen should sue Fantasy Island for all its worth.

As for the other fantasy, Paul Williams plays an eccentric Texas banker named Donald Quick.  His fantasy is to be Don Quixote.  (That’s a weird fantasy but whatever.)  Soon, Donald and his lawyer (David Doyle) are riding their donkeys across Fantasy Island while dressed up like conquistadors.  Donald saves a woman from a motorcycle gang and you have to wonder just what exactly a motorcycle gang is doing on Fantasy Island.  He saves another woman (Mary Louis Weller) from her louse of a boyfriend (Robert F. Lyons) and then he jousts with a Cadillac.  It’s silly but at least Donald finds love and David Doyle gets a few funny lines over how much he wants to sue Fantasy Island.

Honestly, this episode could have been saved if the two fantasies had intersected.  If Donald and his lawyer had turned up to battle the kidnappers and save Helen, this actually would have been an okay episode and the lawyer could have helped Helen file a lawsuit against Roarke.  But instead, the fantasies stay separate and the whole thing just feels icky.  Seriously, Mr. Roarke was not on top of his game of this week.  It might be time to give Tattoo more responsibility.

Here’s The Latest Trailer For Dune: Part Two

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Dune: Part Two was originally supposed to be out already.  It was scheduled for an October 20th release but the date was pushed back several times, first to November and then, as a result of the SAG-AFTRA strike, to March of 2024.  Despite all the online angst over it being moved back, it’s perhaps the best thing that could have happened to this film as it now seems to be the 2024 film that everyone is anticipating the most.

(Certainly, it’s the most anticipated March release that I can ever remember.)

Here’s the just-released third trailer for Dune: Part Two!

Film Review: Rustin (dir by George C. Wolfe)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In Netflix’s Rustin, Colman Domingo plays Bayard Rustin.

A Quaker, a pacifist, a leader of the civil rights movement, and a former communist, Bayard Rustin was an early advisor to Martin Luther King, Jr.  Rustin commitment to non-violent protest was a huge influence on King’s own activism and Rustin helped King to organize the Southern Christian Leadership Council.  Rustin was one of King’s closest advisors but he was distrusted by other leaders of the movement because of both his independent nature and the fact that he was a gay man at a time when homophobia was the law of the land.  In fact, Rustin opens with Rustin’s rivals, the NAACP’s Roy Wilkins (Chris Rock) and U.S. Rep. Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. (Jeffrey Wright), letting King know that it would be in his best interest not to be associated with someone like Bayard Rustin.  Rustin, thinking that King will stand with him, offers to resign from the SCLC and is stunned when King (Aml Ameen) accepts his resignation.

After spending three years in relative obscurity and watching as younger civil rights activists start to reject the non-violence that is at the core of his philosophy, Rustin comes up with the idea that will become the 1963 March on Washington.  Putting aside his hurt feelings, Rustin works with King and several other civil rights leaders to organize the March and, at the same time, he once again finds himself being attacked for being both gay and a former member of the Communist Party.  Even while organizing the march, Rustin pursues a doomed relationship with a deeply closeted clergyman (Johnny Ramey).

It’s an important story but the film itself is sabotaged by both its script and its direction.  The script, which was co-written by Dustin Lance Black, is heavy on exposition and monologues but there’s few moments in which the characters really get to come alive.  Meanwhile, George C. Wolfe’s direction is stagey and stodgy.  Visually, the film has the aesthetic of a well-produced made-for-TV movie.  For all the time that is spent on the planning of the March of Washington, the event itself is recreated in a rushed and rather flat matter.  One could argue that the filmmakers felt that the real event is so iconic that there would no way to really do it justice and perhaps the filmmakers were correct in that.  Still, one can’t help but feel that Wolfe should have at least tried to capture some of the event’s electricity.  The film, to its credit, captures the hard work that went on behind-the-scenes of the civil rights movement but there are very few moments that feel spontaneous or as if they have a spark of life actually being lived in front of the camera.

Fortunately, the film is blessed to feature Colman Domingo in the title role.  Playing a larger-than-life figure, Domingo gives a performance that is big, charismatic, flamboyant, and sensitive.  As played by Domingo, Rustin is a collection of seemingly conflicting traits.  At times, he’s confident to the point of being arrogant but, when he finds himself shunned by the other leaders of the civil rights movement, he reveals the insecurity hiding underneath the surface.  Rustin is hyperactive yet focused, angry yet forgiving, and self-absorbed yet compassionate.  One of the film’s best moments comes when Rustin responds to an innuendo-filled attack on him by throwing himself into planning every detail of the March.  Rustin is surrounded by people telling him that, as a black man and a gay man, he will always be a second-class citizen and an outsider.  Rustin refuses to accept that and Domingo captures the intelligence, wit, and determination that allowed Rustin to continue to fight, against amazing odds, for equality.

The film doesn’t tell us much about Rustin’s life after the March on Washington.  In later years, Rustin, while remaining a socialist, became a strong anti-Communist and was also an outspoken supporter of Israel.  Today’s Left would probably not have much use for the moderate Bayard Rustin and, with his commitment to non-violence, it’s doubtful that Rustin would have much use for many of them.  Despite his prominence in the Civil Rights movement and the importance of his work, Rustin is still not as well-known as he should be.  Perhaps this movie, despite its flaws, will change that.

Music Video of the Day: Eras of Us by Fletcher (2023, dir by Alexandre Moors)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wandering around a city at night while singing is probably not the safest thing you can do but I applaud Fletcher for taking the rest and being smart enough to bring a film crew with her.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.5 “Career Day”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Jon and, to a lesser extent, Ponch continue to keep the highways safe.

Episode 1.5 “Career Day”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

It’s another crazy week on the California highways.  A husband-and-wife team of burglars are driving around in their van and breaking into mansions.  Frat boys are stealing hearses and hiding in coffins.  A photographer and his models hold up traffic by doing a swimsuit shoot under an overpass.  A little child gets lost while walking along the Los Angeles river.

It’s a lot to deal with and somehow, it all falls on Jon and Ponch.  This is one of those episodes that leaves you to wonder where all the other members of the highway patrol are.  At one point, Sgt. Getraer comments that the highway patrol has 100 motorcycles and that 90 of them are being used.  Despite that, it seems like every crime and accident seems to happen just a mile or two away from wherever Jon and Ponch happen to be.  Occasionally, Bear (played by Brodie Greer) shows up in his police car but he always seems to wait until Ponch and Jon have already caught the bad guys.

This episode, Ponch once again damages his motorcycle by not parking it correctly.  (The motorcycle falls over and a bunch of a teenagers point and laugh.  Take that, Ponch!)  Getraer puts Ponch on desk duty but then a helicopter cop says that he needs someone to fly with him.  Ponch gets to go up in a police helicopter and help search for the missing child.  Baker, who is perfect and therefore, still has his motorcycle, is the one who actually retrieves the child and takes him home but Ponch gets to ride in a helicopter.  Seriously, I’ve been in a helicopter a few times and, once you get used to all the shaking and get over your fear of heights, it’s pretty fun.  I guess it’s a good thing, for Ponch, that he is such an incompetent highway patrolman that he can’t even park his own bike.

This episode could best be described as a “week-in-the-life” episode as it follows Ponch and Jon as they deal with all the weird things that happen on the Los Angeles highway.  The burglars bookmarked the episode, showing up at the start and then again at the end, so that they could be chased down by Ponch and Jon.  That said, the closest thing that this episode had to a real storyline was the result of Ponch pulling over his old high school principal (played by the very familiar character actor, Richard Deacon) and being asked to speak at his school’s career day.  The principal seems to believe that if Ponch can actually stay out of jail and become an authority figure, there’s a chance for everyone!  Of course, when it’s time to give his speech, Ponch freezes up and Jon has to act like his hype man.  Eventually, Ponch finds the courage to speak and turns out to be such a blowhard that the entire student body gets bored.  Indeed, as Ponch brags on himself, the line between character and actor becomes rather blurred.  Erik Estrada is not the world’s most subtle actor but he’s entertaining in the right role.

As with all of the previous episodes, the real star here was the California scenery.  The mountains and the blue skies were inviting, no matter how dangerous the highways might have been.

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.14 “Golden Triangle: Part One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Castillo opens up!

Episode 1.14 “Golden Triangle: Part One”

(Dir by George Stanford Brown, originally aired on January 11th, 1985)

Okay, things are going to get a little complicated here.  This is one convoluted episode.

Crockett and Tubbs’s latest assignment has them pretending to be the head of security for a Miami hotel.  Castillo wants them to catch two crooked cops who are shaking down the prostitutes who use the hotel as their office.  Tubbs and Crockett aren’t happy about it because it makes them feel like they’re working for Internal Affairs but Castillo makes it clear that he has no patience for any dirty cops.

Unfortunately, they’re not having much success with the security gig.  The episode opens with Crockett and Tubbs subduing a guest who is freaking out on Angel Dust.  “Attack the whack!” as the Disco Godfather once put it.

Crockett decides to put on a pair of thick glasses and a pocket protector and sit by the pool.  He’s approached by Candy James (Robin Johnson), a high-class escort who asks Crockett if he wants to party.  Crockett promptly arrests her.

After Candy agrees to help Crockett and Tubbs (in return for her criminal record being wiped out of the system), Crockett and Tubbs decide to go undercover as pimps while still pretending to be hotel security guards.  When a guest named Albert Szarbo (John Snyder) and his unnamed Thai associate see Tubbs setting Gina up with her date (who is actually Zito), they decide that Crockett and Tubbs must be using the hotel as a front for their own prostitution operation.  Szarbo approaches Crockett and explains that he wants to rob all of the hotel’s safe deposit boxes.

With Candy’s help, Crockett and Tubbs discover that the crooked detectives are Herb Ross (Paul Austin) and Dan Garcia (Gary Jellum).  Ross and Garcia are arrested but are released just a few hours later.  Because they were not actually arrested by Crockett and Tubbs, they assume that Crockett and Tubbs are still just the hotel security guys but they also assume that Crockett must have snitched on them to the police and….

Wait?  What?  Seriously, how does everyone in Miami not know, at this point, that Crockett and Tubbs are cops?  They make no effort to hide the fact that they’re cops.  Even when they’re undercover, they refer to each other by their real names and spend half of their time talking about what’s going on back at the station.  Even if the criminals don’t know that Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover, you would at least expect their fellow police officers to know.

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, Candy.  Candy said she would leave Miami after Ross and Garcia were busted but, instead, she shows up back at the hotel.  Crockett is not happy about this but then he finds himself being confronted by Szarbo and Ross, who claims that Crockett is a snitch.  Candy steps up and announces that she’s the snitch, saving Crockett and Tubbs’s case.

However, it turns out that Szarbo was lying to Crockett about wanting Crockett and Tubbs to be present when he robbed the safety deposit boxes.  Instead, he was just using Crockett so that he could get a look at the vault before breaking in.  Szarbo and his associate pull off the robbery and are then murdered by whoever hired them.

Castillo takes one look at the body of Szarbo’s Thai associate and realizes that he was tortured to death by associates of Chinese General Lao Li, a drug lord who Castillo tangled with before he joined the Miami PD.  The normally stoic and unemotional Castillo opens up a little and reveals that he spend three years working undercover in Thailand for the DEA.  Castillo says that they need to discover why Lao Li wanted whatever was in the safety deposit boxes.

Leaving his office and helping Tubbs and Crockett with their investigation, Castillo stuns everyone by revealing that he’s actually a total badass who speaks Thai, knows martial arts, and can handle himself in a fight.  A search of all of Miami’s Thai restaurants eventually leads Castillo to Lao Li’s assassin.  After an exciting fight with Castillo, the assassin purposefully commits suicide by swallowing his own tongue.

Back at police headquarters, Castillo, Crockett, Tubbs, Zito, and Switek takes a look at some of the items that were recovered from Szarbo’s hotel room.  Castillo has deduced that Lao Li has come to the United States and his immigration visa was probably in one of the safety deposit boxes.  He then looks at a picture of an attractive Chinese woman.  (Some viewers will recognize her as being actress Joan Chen.)  When asked who the woman is, Castillo replies, “My wife.”

This was a great episode, with a wonderfully twisty plot and a great fight scene between Edward James Olmos and Paul Tenn.  After spending the past few episodes as a glowering figure who spent most of his time standing in his office and glaring at Crockett, Castillo revealed a bit about himself and it was fun to discover that this stoic figure was actually a total badass.

Next week: Part two of Golden Triangle!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Total Reality and Knight and Day!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1997’s Total Reality!  Selected and hosted by Rev. Magdalen, this movie is yet another thing about time travel!  So, you know it has to be good!

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 2010’s Knight and Day!  It’s on Prime.

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Total Reality on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start Knight and Day, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.