Cleaning Out The DVR: Killer Mom (dir by Christine Conradt)

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR!  It’s going to take a while because Lisa has over 200 things recorded.  However, one thing is for sure: it’s all getting erased on January 15th.  Will Lisa be able to watch everything before doomsday?  Keep checking here to find out!  She recorded Killer Mom off of Lifetime on April 15th!)

Poor Jessica (played by Karen Cliche)!

Nothing’s going right for her.  First off, her husband has been arrested and charged with one of those financial crimes that rich men always seem to be committing in Lifetime movies.  She’s had to move in with her best friend, which is good because her friend keeps her supplied with wine and sympathy but bad because her friend’s house is not quite as nice as the house that she used to live in.  When she does go out of town, she’s so broke that she can’t even afford to stay in a nice hotel.  She has to rip open her blouse and threaten to accuse the manager of raping her just to get a good room!

However, there is a light on the horizon.  14 years earlier, as the result of an affair with a married man, Jessica had a daughter named Allison.  Jessica gave Allison up and Allison was raised by her father and his wife.  The wife died a few years previously and, just a few days ago, the father was killed in a plane crash!  That means that the now 14 year-old Allison (Maddy Martin) stands to inherit millions!

After showing up at the funeral and introducing herself, Jessica starts to work her way into Allison’s life.  Allison’s half-sister, Sydni (Kirby Bliss Blanton) automatically suspects that Jessica is only interested in the money.  For that matter, so does just about everyone else in the world.  No one trusts Jessica but Allison.  And Allison is so happy to finally be reunited with her biological mother that no one has the courage to tell her about their suspicions.

That doesn’t stop people from trying to investigate Jessica’s past, however.  Of course, that’s always a mistake in a Lifetime movie.  Trying to investigate anything is usually a good way to end up either getting framed or murdered.  For instance, Aaron Martin (Brad Long) makes it clear that he doesn’t trust Jessica and suddenly, his computer is full of child porn!  Is Aaron a perv or did Jessica use her magic internet powers to hack his computer?  (Take a guess.)  The housekeeper doesn’t trust Jessica and suddenly, her mother is attacked by an intruder.  Sydni thinks that Jessica is plotting something and … oh my God!  Suddenly, there are drugs in her car!

As I’ve said before, the more batshit crazy a Lifetime film is, the more likely it’s going to be a success.  Killer Mom is totally and completely over the top, full of nonstop plotting, snarky commentary, and — most importantly — really beautiful houses.  Nobody lives in a messy house in a Lifetime film!  Karen Cliche totally embraces the role of femme fatale, giving a performance that suggests that Jessica is almost as amused by her schemes as we are.  All in all, Killer Mom is good melodramatic fun.

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