13 | November | 2017 | Through the Shattered Lens

Number One With A Bullet is the story of two cops. Nick Barzack (Robert Carradine) is so crazy that the all criminals have nicknamed “Beserk.” (Who says criminals aren’t clever?) Nick’s partner, Frank Hazeltine (Billy Dee Williams) is so smooth that jazz starts to play whenever he steps into a room. Nick keeps a motorcycle in his living room, wants to get back together with his wife (Valerie Bertinelli), and has an overprotective mother (Doris Roberts). Hazeltine is Billy Dee Williams so all he has to worry about is being the coolest man on Earth. Their captain (Peter Graves!) may want them to do things by the book but Nick and Hazeltine are willing to throw the book out if it means taking down DaCosta, a so-called respectable citizen who they think is actually the city’s biggest drug lord.

It is natural to assume that, because of the whole crazy white cop/centered black cop storyline, this movie was meant to be a rip-off of a well-known film starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover but actually, Number One With A Bullet was released a week before Lethal Weapon. As well, while Carradine’s Nick is almost as crazy as Mel Gibson’s Riggs, it is impossible to imagine Billy Dee Williams ever saying that he’s “too old for this shit.” Williams is having too good a time listening to jazz and picking up women. Whenever Hazeltine shows up, Number One With A Bullet feels like a Colt 45 commercial that somehow costars Robert Carradine. Whenever the film is just Carradine, it feels like an unauthorized sequel to Revenge of the Nerds where Lewis gets really, really pissed off.

Number One With A Bullet is a Cannon film and entertaining in the way that most late 80s Cannon films are. There is a lot of action, a little skin, and some dated comedy, much of it featuring Robert Carradine having to dress in drag. There is also a mud wrestling scene because I guess mud wrestling was extremely popular back in the 80s. They may not be Gibson and Glover but Carradine and Williams still make a good team and they both seem to be having a ball. For fans of cheap 80s action films, there is a lot to enjoy in Number One With A Bullet.

Does this seem familiar? It’s because Val already shared her thoughts about this video. This is a song that means a lot to me, especially on this day, so that’s why I’m sharing my thoughts now. It’s either that or else I forgot to check on whether this video had been previous shared before I wrote and scheduled this post.

Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you’re a slave to the money then you die.
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.
No change, I can’t change, I can’t change, I can’t change,
but I’m here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
But I’m a million different people from one day to the next
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Bitter Sweet Symphony. It’s a beautiful song that, on days like today, means a lot to me. The lyrics were written by Richard Ashcroft, the lead singer of The Verve. That’s him in the video, lurching Frankenstein-like down Hoxton Street in London.

The famous orchestral riff, which has been heard in so many movies and commercials, was lifted from a 1965 song by The Rolling Stones, The Last Time. When the band tried to get permission to use the sample, there was a lot of confusion about who actually owned the rights. You can read all the details on Songfacts. It’s a bit too complicated for me to even try to put my mind around.

Well I never pray,
But tonight I’m on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there’s nobody singing to me now.

The video,I assume, was very carefully orchestrated. Personally, I’d love to imagine that Ashcroft just started walking down the street, intentionally crashing into anyone or anything that got in his way. I especially relate to the woman who gets in Ashcroft’s face after he walks over her car. That would be me.

The video was directed by Walter Stern, who has sixteen credits listed on the imvdb. Supposedly the video was inspired by another music video, this one for Massive Attack’s Unfinished Sympathy. I’ve never seen the Massive Attack video but apparently it also features a lead singer lurching down a street. Though Walter Stern didn’t direct Unfinished Sympathy, he did do a different video for Massive Attack (Tear Drop) shortly before doing Bitter Sweet Symphony.

No change, I can’t change, I can’t change, I can’t change,
But I’m here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
And I’m a million different people from one day to the next
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

(Well have you ever been down?)
(I can’t change, I can’t change)

When I rewatched this video for this post, I was struck by just how tall Richard Ashcroft is. Honestly, I would probably get out of his way. Unless he walked across my car, of course. Then I’d get in his face and start yelling.

Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony this life.
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die.
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.
No change, I can’t change, I can’t change, I can’t change,
but I’m here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
But I’m a million different people from one day to the next
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Despite the fact that The Verve was opposed to having their music appear in commercials, they didn’t control the rights. As such, Bitter Sweet Symphony was used in a campaign for Nike. The Verve donated the money that they made to the Red Cross Land Mine Appeal. Of course, the song’s appeared in a lot of commercials and movies since then.

It’s just sex and violence melody and silence
It’s just sex and violence melody and silence (I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down)
It’s just sex and violence melody and silence
It’s just sex and violence melody and silence
It’s just sex and violence melody and silence (I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down)
(It’s just sex and violence melody and silence)Been down
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)