Monsters will not be reviewed tonight so that we may bring you this very special presentation of 1983’s Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
Yes, my retro television reviews will return next week but, until then, enjoy this blast from the past. In this hour-long presentation, Fran Davies (Kari Michaelson) is upset when her mother (Marion Ross) takes a summer job working as a maid for a rich family. At first, Fran thinks that Andrea (Jennifer Jason Leigh), the daughter of her mother’s employer, is a stuck-up snob but she soon learns that Andrea is instead painfully shy and that she has parents who are rich but unloving. Meanwhile, Fran’s parents are …. well, I wouldn’t call them poor. The film acts as if they’re poor but, from all indications, they appear to be comfortably middle class. The point is that they’re not rich but they are loving.
This is worth watching for Jennifer Jason Leigh’s performance as Andrea, a character to whom I could relate. It’s not easy being both shy and beautiful. Fans of great character actors will also be happy to see James Karen, playing Andrea’s father.
Now, without further ado, here is Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
“The Love Boat will not be reviewed tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….”
My Retro Television Reviews, including my reviews of The Love Boat, will return next week. For now, let’s enjoy a blast from the past. First aired in 1973, Don’t Call me Mama Anymore was the second television special to feature Cass Elliott. Like the first one, it was essentially a pilot for a weekly variety show. This special was a far better showcase for Cass Elliott and it actually led to her getting a show for the 1974 season. Unfortunately, Cass passed away in London before filming began.
For now, here is Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore, featuring Cass Elliott, Joel Grey, Michelle Phillips, and Dick Van Dyke.
Normally, this is where and when I would post my weekly review of Fantasy Island but, due to this being a busy week, my Retro Television Reviews are on break until Sunday. Fear not, though, we have alternative programming!
From 1969, it’s The Mama Cass Television Program! This was actually meant to be a pilot for a variety show that would have been hosted by Mama Cass Elliott, formerly of the Mamas and the Papas. For that reason, there’s some comedy bits along with Cass singing. Keep an eye out for Martin Landau! The comedy, to be honest, is a bit cringey but it really doesn’t matter when you’ve got Cass Elliott and her amazing voice.
Fantasy Island will return next week but for now….
This is another busy week for me and I have got a lot of movies and shows that I need to catch up on so my retro television reviews will return on Monday with reviews of Miami Vice and CHiPs!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewingthe Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!
This week, Marlene gets an opportunity!
Episode 3.11 “The Naked Truth”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on November 21st, 1987)
Women Of The World magazine wants to do a story on Marlene’s life as a cashier. All of her coworkers try to worm their way into the interview but Marlene succeeds in kicking them all out of the breakroom. The reporter from the magazine informs Marlene that her life story is fascinating and now they’ll just need to take some naked pictures to go along with it.
Howard is stunned when Marlene says she’s going to pose nude. Marlene points out that Howard keeps adult magazines in his desk drawer. Howard denies it before then opening up his desk drawer and checking them out. Howard fears that Marlene is going to make Cobb’s look bad. Marlene, in the end, chooses not to get the pictures done because she doesn’t want her future daughter to be ashamed of her. Personally, I would have preferred for Marlene to have said, “It’s my decision and I’ll make sure my daughter understands that she has to do what’s right for her instead of worrying about what everyone else says,” but whatever. It’s just a silly sitcom.
Meanwhile, Viker’s wife is pregnant! Awwww, Viker! Gordon Clapp got to a do and say a lot in this episode, which I enjoyed. Viker is one of the more consistently funny characters on this show. Gordon Clapp played Viker’s stupidity with such an earnest sincerity that you just want someone to hug the guy.
This was not a bad episode. Gordon Clapp and Kathleen Laskey were often this show’s strongest assets and this episode featured both of them. Laskey did a great job portraying Marlene’s dilemma while Clapp made me laugh at even the silliest of jokes. Nope, not a bad episode at all, even if I do think Marlene should have just told everyone that it was none of their business what she chose to do.
This week, I was super-excited to discover the original Unsolved Mysteries on Tubi! I’ve been listening to Robert Stack as he talks about unsolved crimes and a paranormal mysteries and I have to say that Mr. Stack was truly an American treasure! I like that most of these episodes have updates and it looks like they’re still being updates. That said, I find the mysteries with no updates to be the most intriguing.
In other news, Case and I are nearly finished with Dark. We’ll be watching the final episode next Tuesday.
I am now caught up on Kitchen Nightmares. Chef Ramsay is saving restaurants that don’t really deserve to be saved. I don’t care if Gordon showed them their aware of their ways. There’s no way I’d eat in any of those places!
I watched a good deal of the news stations — BBC, FOX, C-SPAN, CNN, a little MSNBC, though that network is kind of annoying and whiny right now — this week. I won’t go into too much detail but I think I’m starting to become a news junkie.
I went over to Pluto TV this weekend and I turned on Dr. Phil for background noise. This poor woman was convinced that she was married to Tyler Perry.
King of the Hill on Hulu has definitely been my comfort show this week. It’s a Texas show and I’m a Texas girl.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show can be purchased on Prime.
Wedding bells are ringing!
Episode 4.21 “Ooh Ooh, I Do: Part Two”
(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on May 25th, 1979)
Horshack’s getting married!
For some reason, the Sweathogs throw him a bachelor party in Barbarino’s trashy apartment. Barbarino isn’t there. I assume he’s at work or maybe he finally moved back in with his family after realizing just how ugly and depressing his apartment was. Seriously, I will never understand why a show would try to get viewers invested in such an ugly location.
Anyway, the bachelor party is a bust. Epstein dresses up in drag and dances for Horshack. The Sweathogs love it. Horshack loves it. But then the Sweathogs make a joke about how Horshack and Mary Johnson are going to be so poor that Mary is going to have to get a job washing bricks to support them. Horshack realizes that they’re right. He’s getting married in high school and he has absolutely zero marketable skills. In fact, he’s such a weirdo that most people go out of their way to avoid him. How is he going to support Mary?
Horshask freaks out and runs away. After Mary shows them the note that Horshack left, in which he said that he was running away to become the type of man who could support her, the Sweathogs search all over Brooklyn for him. Epstein goes to a Marine recruiting station. Washington and Beau …. eh, I watched this show like 20 minutes ago and I’ve already forgotten what they did. That’s how well-written this episode was. Mary, however, knows that Horshack’s favorite movie is Wuthering Heights so she finds him at the local move theater.
They get married! The ceremony is small and pathetic. I don’t think a single member of Horshack’s family showed up. Gabe does show up and, when the Sweathogs realize that Horshack needs a ring to give Mary, Gabe gives up his own wedding ring. Julie approves. They’re probably going to get divorced as soon as the show ends.
Gabe, who is usually portrayed as being very concerned with the future of his students, is totally cool with Horshack getting married while still a high school student. At no point does he suggest that Horshack might be rushing into things or that a stunted manchild who can’t get a job might not be a good husband. This was one of Kaplan’s rare appearance during the final season of the show but he doesn’t act much like the Mr. Kotter that we got to know over the previous three seasons. It’s kind of like when Steve Carell came back for The Office finale and only said one line. It just doesn’t feel right.
Apparently, this episode was meant to a backdoor pilot for a series that would have focused on Horshack and Mary. I can’t imagine that working, though I would say that Mary and Horshack do look cute together at the end of the episode.
Speaking of endings, there are only two more episodes left! Will the Sweathogs finally graduate? We’ll find out!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!
This week, Johnny screws up, making the type of mistake that Ryan never would have!
Episode 3.7 “Hate On Your Dial”
(Dir by Allan Eastman, originally aired on November 6th, 1989)
This week’s cursed antique is an old car radio from 1954. Smear it with the blood of someone who has just died and the car will transport you back to …. 1954. That seems like an oddly specific curse and a kind of pointless one. What if the car radio ends up in the possession of someone who doesn’t care about 1954?
(And, to make clear, Jack does specifically state that the curse involves going back to 1954.)
The car radio does end up in the possession of Ray Pierce (Michael Rhoades), a racist auto mechanic who uses the car to go back to 1954 so that he can hang out with his father in Mississippi. His father (Martin Doyle) is a member of the Klan, along with his friend, Joe (played, in an early performance, by Henry Czerny). The 1954 scenes are filmed in black-and-white. When the show travels back 1954, the first thing we see is an “I Like Ike” billboard, featuring Dwight Eisenhower and a Confederate flag. Obviously, someone in the show’s Canadian writer’s room didn’t know who supported segregation in 50s and who didn’t. There was a political party wrapping itself in the Confederate flag in 1950s Mississippi but it wasn’t the Republicans and their candidate wasn’t Dwight Eisenhower.
This episode features Johnny making another one of his trademark mistakes, this time selling the cursed radio to Ray’s “slow” brother, Archie (played by Cronenberg regular Robert A. Silverman). Only after Johnny sells it does he realize it was probably cursed. Micki yells at him for not checking the manifest before selling it. Then Jack yells at him too. Jack remains angry with him for nearly the entire episode. It’s understandable that Jack would be upset but then again, maybe they shouldn’t have left inexperienced Johnny alone in the shop in the first place. Maybe they shouldn’t even be selling antiques at all. That would definitely solve the problem.
Anyway, this episode featured some of the worst Southern accents that I’ve ever heard and it also featured a cursed objects that didn’t make much sense. Johnny learned an important lesson about being careful about selling things and I guess that’s a good thing. That said, Ryan never would have made that mistake!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
It’s time to go under the knife in Boston.
Episode 1.16 “The Count”
(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired March 8th, 1983)
Harold Beaumont (Michael Halsey), an adult film actor better known as The Count, has checked into St. Eligius. Of course, Dr. Samuels immediately recognizes him because Samuels is obsessed with porn. Dr. Annie Cavanero does not recognize him but, once she learns what he does for a living, she has to tell him that she finds his work to be offensive because Dr. Cavanero’s entire personality pretty much revolves around getting offended by stuff.
It’s not much of a plot. There’s a process server (William G. Schilling) who wants to serve the Count with a courts summons so Samuels and Cavanero help the Count hide and disguise his identity. It’s silly and dumb story that involves the two of the least likable members of the show’s regular cast.
Meanwhile, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) comes to suspect that one of the hospital’s heart surgeons, Dr. Larry Andrews (Peter Michael Goetz), is giving pacemakers to people who don’t actually need them. She takes her concerns to Dr. Craig. Craig, an old friend of Dr. Andrews, is initially dismissive but he later confronts Dr. Andrews and finds out that Armstrong was correct. Dr. Andrews explains that it takes a lot of money to fund his lifestyle. This story was an improvement over the Count but it perhaps would have had more power if it had been someone like Dr. Ehrlich who suspected that Dr. Andrews was giving people pacemakers that they don’t need. Ehrlich actually has a complicated relationship with Dr. Craig and his own less-than-stellar record as a resident would have added some ambiguity to storyline. Dr. Armstrong, on the other hand, has been portrayed as being hypercompetent and a bit self-righteous and, if we’re going to be honest, she’s kind of a boring character.
Speaking of Dr. Ehrlich, he is getting fed up with living with Fiscus. Howie Mandel is driving someone crazy? Who could have seen that coming?
This week’s episode was pretty forgettable. The story involving Dr. Andrews had potential but choosing to make the show’s least interesting characters the center of an entire episode was a decision that really didn’t pay off.
Through the Shattered Lens 