Tag Archives: TV

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 3.21 “The Remake/The Perfect Match/The Captain’s Ne’er Do Well Brother”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, special guest star O.D. Warbux brings The Love Boat to life!

Episode 3.21 “The Remake/The Perfect Match/The Captain’s Ne’er Do Well Brother”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 2nd, 1980)

At the start of this week’s episode, Marshall Stubing boards the ship.  As you can guess by his last name, Marshall is Captain Stubing’s brother.  He bears a pretty strong resemblance to Merrill, except he’s a little thinner and he has more hair and a pencil-thin smile.  He wears suits and has a quick smile and is quick to flirt with every woman the he sees.  He’s played by an actor named O.D. Warbux and….

Wait a minute….

That’s not O.D. Warbux!  That’s Gavin MacLeod!  Yes, in this episode, Gavin MacLeod plays both the serious Captain Stubing and his carefree, free-loading brother.  And you know what?  MacLeod/Warbux actually does a pretty good job playing the two roles.  In the scenes in which the brothers argue, MacLeod really does seem to be sincerely annoyed with himself.  Seriously, though, you have to give MacLeod some credit.  If he had joked his way through the double role, I doubt anyone would have called him out on it.  Instead, MacLeod gives two believable and emotionally nuanced performances.

As for why Marshall is on the boat, he’s looking for a woman to continue to fund his life.  Merrill threatens to kick Marshall off the cruise but Marshall reveals that he bought a ticket and he has ever right to be there.  As Merrill watches with a disapproving frown, Marshall meets and romances Ruby Gibson (Diane Ladd), who is the millionaire widow of an Oklahoma oilman.  Marshall actually does fall in love with Ruby but he fears that he’s not good enough for her.  Ruby announces that Marshall is perfect for her and even Merrill says that Marshall is actually a good guy.  Marshall leaves the boat with Ruby and I assume they got married a few weeks later.  That’s good.  Hopefully, Ruby will help to pay for Vicki’s college education (assuming Vicki is actually allowed to leave the boat to attend school).

Marshall Stubing is not the only family member on the boat.  Julie’s aunt, Christine (Florence Henderson), is also on the boat.  When she meets Neal Rich (James Broderick), he immediately reminds her of her late husband.  Neal and Christine fall in love on the boat but will Christine ever stop trying to make Neal behave just like her late husband?  Of course, she does.  This is The Love Boat!  Back when I was reviewing The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, I said some fairly negative things about Florence Henderson as an actress but she’s actually really good in the episode and she has great chemistry with James Broderick so I guess it was really the Brady children who were holding her back on the Variety Hour.  This was a sweet story and I have to say that I actually found myself really hoping that Christine and Neal would work things out.

Finally, Holly Christopher (Connie Stevens) boards the ship because she’s spent the last few weeks stalking Howard Samuels (Kent McCord), the man who she has decided will be the father of her child.  As Holly explains it to Doc, she doesn’t want to get married.  She doesn’t want a family.  She just wants a baby.  Doc, who has like a dozen ex-wives and whose entire life seems to revolve around searching for one-night stands on the boat, tells her that marriage and traditional courtship are wonderful and that she should consider them.  Holly realizes that she agrees with Doc and she decides that she wants an old-fashioned romance after all.  This whole storyline felt like it could have come from one of those old 1950s films that would star Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee as teenagers learning the facts of life.  Kent McCord was pretty dull as Howard but Connie Stevens brought a lot of energy to the role of Holly.  Out of the three couples who left the ship at the end of the cruise, Howard and Holly is the one that’s definitely not going to last.

With this episode, The Love Boat kept it all in the family and, overall, this was a pretty good cruise.  Both Gavin MacLeod and O.D. Warbux deserve a lot of credit for giving performances that elevated the entire episode.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.5 “Just A Gigolo”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Mitch and Ryan go undercover!

Episode 1.5 “Just A Gigolo”

(Dir by Martin Pasetta, originally aired on October 28th, 1995)

David Hasselhoff is a gigolo!

No, not really.  Mitch may be wearing sunglasses and speaking broken French but that’s just because he has gone undercover as a con artist.  He’s trying to expose the actual gigolo, a younger man named Grant Styles (Joel Beeson).  Grant swindled a good deal of money from Mitch’s friend, Julie (Candy Clark), but, because Julie voluntarily handed over the money and told Grant that he didn’t have to pay her back, no crime was committed.

“To catch a gigolo,” Mitch tells us, “I decided to become a gigolo.”  This is followed by a lengthy exercise montage.  Finally, after a week of lifting weights and jogging on the beach, Mitch is ready to make his debut at the local country club.  Accompanying him is Ryan (Angie Harmon), who is pretending to be a wealthy divorcee.  (Mitch’s aunt agrees to allow Ryan to use her mansion.)  Grant immediately starts hitting on Ryan and Mitch can only watch as Ryan flirts back.  Mitch actually starts to feel jealous and Ryan, for her part, starts to feel jealous whenever she sees Mitch flirting with the older women at the club.  Could Mitch and Ryan be falling in love?

Actually, Mitch and Ryan do kind of make a cute couple.  I mean, seriously, they just look like they belong together.  From the first episode of this series, David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon have had a playful chemistry and their personalities definitely compliment each other.  These two definitely need to get together.

For now, though, the important thing is exposing Grant and his “manager,” Margo Curtis (future reality star Lisa Vanderpump).  Though Mitch can’t stand the idea of Grant spending time with Ryan, he still has to do things like stand perfectly still while Grant beats him up because fighting back would apparently blow his cover.  (To be honest, I think the only reason the fight scene was included was so Hasselhoff could look directly at the camera and do a “Why me?” shrug.)  After Grant beats up Julie, Mitch and Ryan realize that Grant is far more dangerous than the average gigolo.  After Grant, while flying a paraglider, tries to shoot Mitch on the beach, Mitch and Ryan trick him into breaking into Ryan’s mansion so that he can be captured and sent away.

While all of this is going on, Garner (Gregory Alan Williams) and Destiny (Lisa Stahl) worked together to  catch a notorious bail jumped named Bobby Bahama (Jeff Dashnaw).  Most bail jumpers would probably try to leave the state but Bobby jumps bail and then decides to just keep hanging out at the beach and his favorite club.  Destiny meets Bobby at the club, invites him to her hotel room, and then handcuffs him to the bed.

“Kinky,” Bobby says.

No, Bobby, the term is “captured.”

I enjoyed this episode, not so much for the basic plot but for the chemistry between Angie Harmon and David Hasselhoff.  Like I said earlier, they’re an appealing couple and they have a fun chemistry whenever they’re acting opposite each other.  Any show that features David Hasselhoff pretending to be a gigolo is going to have a bizarre appeal to it but Mitch’s relationship with Ryan was strong enough that not even a rather silly storyline could sabotage it.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.4 “Don Quixote/The Sex Goddess”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week’s journey to Fantasy Island is oddly unpleasant.

Episode 4.4 “Don Quixote/The Sex Goddess”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on November 15th, 1980)

As always, this episode opens with “the plane, the plane” landing at Fantasy Island and Mr. Roarke and Tattoo heading out to meet their guests.  Unfortunately, as has been the case since the since the third season, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo no longer share any sort of playful banter before meeting the guests.  In fact, Roarke often seems to refuse to even look at Tattoo while speaking to him.  It’s awkward to watch because the dislike between Ricardo Montalban and Heve Villechaize is obvious whenever they share a scene.  It’s something that is easy to joke about while talking about the show but it’s far more unpleasant to actually witness.

Of course, this entire episode is rather unpleasant, which is a shame because Fantasy Island‘s greatest strength as a show was that watching it was usually a pleasant and undemanding way to spend an hour.

Take, for instance, the fantasy of Helen Hendrix (Phyllis Davis).  Helen’s fantasy is to become a “sex goddess.”  Tattoo expresses disbelief that the pretty but far from glamorous Helen could ever be a sex goddess but Roarke reminds Tattoo that, on Fantasy Island, all things are possible.  Roarke then says that Helen doesn’t realize that her fantasy could be a “a very dangerous fantasy.”

Well, Mr. Roarke, if it’s so dangerous, why did you agree to allow her to come to the Island?  In the past, Mr. Roarke has mentioned turning down many requests for fantasies.  He is apparently the final judge on whether or not someone will get their fantasy.  (Even when Tattoo granted a fantasy to someone who Roarke previously turned down, it was suggested that it was all a part of Roarke’s master plan.)  If the fantasy is so dangerous, why give it to Helen?  What is Mr. Roarke’s legal liability if someone gets killed while experiencing their fantasy?

Anyway, Mr. Roarke gives Helen a blue potion and when she drinks it, she becomes a blonde, starts wearing makeup, and gets a dress that’s far more flattering and low-cut than the borderline Amish outfit she was wearing when she first arrived at the Island.  She is now an internationally famous sex goddess, which unfortunately leads to her being kidnapped by three men (Michael Callan, Edd Byrnes, and Don Stroud) and held hostage on a neighboring island.  Eventually, Helen realizes that she’s going to have flirt her way out of captivity, which leads to a smitten Don Stroud helping her to escape.  Or, at least, he does until the potion wears off and Helen goes back being a brunette.  Stroud is shocked but, before he can strangle her, Roarke shows up and whisks Helen back to the Island.

Seriously, what a thoroughly unpleasant fantasy.  Helen comes to the island because she wants to know what it’s like to be famous and sexy and Roarke essentially allows her to be kidnapped by three men who apparently are planning on trafficking her.  Indeed, Roarke seems to suggest that this is Helen’s fault for wanting to be attractive in the first place.  Personally, I think Helen should sue Fantasy Island for all its worth.

As for the other fantasy, Paul Williams plays an eccentric Texas banker named Donald Quick.  His fantasy is to be Don Quixote.  (That’s a weird fantasy but whatever.)  Soon, Donald and his lawyer (David Doyle) are riding their donkeys across Fantasy Island while dressed up like conquistadors.  Donald saves a woman from a motorcycle gang and you have to wonder just what exactly a motorcycle gang is doing on Fantasy Island.  He saves another woman (Mary Louis Weller) from her louse of a boyfriend (Robert F. Lyons) and then he jousts with a Cadillac.  It’s silly but at least Donald finds love and David Doyle gets a few funny lines over how much he wants to sue Fantasy Island.

Honestly, this episode could have been saved if the two fantasies had intersected.  If Donald and his lawyer had turned up to battle the kidnappers and save Helen, this actually would have been an okay episode and the lawyer could have helped Helen file a lawsuit against Roarke.  But instead, the fantasies stay separate and the whole thing just feels icky.  Seriously, Mr. Roarke was not on top of his game of this week.  It might be time to give Tattoo more responsibility.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.5 “Career Day”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Jon and, to a lesser extent, Ponch continue to keep the highways safe.

Episode 1.5 “Career Day”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

It’s another crazy week on the California highways.  A husband-and-wife team of burglars are driving around in their van and breaking into mansions.  Frat boys are stealing hearses and hiding in coffins.  A photographer and his models hold up traffic by doing a swimsuit shoot under an overpass.  A little child gets lost while walking along the Los Angeles river.

It’s a lot to deal with and somehow, it all falls on Jon and Ponch.  This is one of those episodes that leaves you to wonder where all the other members of the highway patrol are.  At one point, Sgt. Getraer comments that the highway patrol has 100 motorcycles and that 90 of them are being used.  Despite that, it seems like every crime and accident seems to happen just a mile or two away from wherever Jon and Ponch happen to be.  Occasionally, Bear (played by Brodie Greer) shows up in his police car but he always seems to wait until Ponch and Jon have already caught the bad guys.

This episode, Ponch once again damages his motorcycle by not parking it correctly.  (The motorcycle falls over and a bunch of a teenagers point and laugh.  Take that, Ponch!)  Getraer puts Ponch on desk duty but then a helicopter cop says that he needs someone to fly with him.  Ponch gets to go up in a police helicopter and help search for the missing child.  Baker, who is perfect and therefore, still has his motorcycle, is the one who actually retrieves the child and takes him home but Ponch gets to ride in a helicopter.  Seriously, I’ve been in a helicopter a few times and, once you get used to all the shaking and get over your fear of heights, it’s pretty fun.  I guess it’s a good thing, for Ponch, that he is such an incompetent highway patrolman that he can’t even park his own bike.

This episode could best be described as a “week-in-the-life” episode as it follows Ponch and Jon as they deal with all the weird things that happen on the Los Angeles highway.  The burglars bookmarked the episode, showing up at the start and then again at the end, so that they could be chased down by Ponch and Jon.  That said, the closest thing that this episode had to a real storyline was the result of Ponch pulling over his old high school principal (played by the very familiar character actor, Richard Deacon) and being asked to speak at his school’s career day.  The principal seems to believe that if Ponch can actually stay out of jail and become an authority figure, there’s a chance for everyone!  Of course, when it’s time to give his speech, Ponch freezes up and Jon has to act like his hype man.  Eventually, Ponch finds the courage to speak and turns out to be such a blowhard that the entire student body gets bored.  Indeed, as Ponch brags on himself, the line between character and actor becomes rather blurred.  Erik Estrada is not the world’s most subtle actor but he’s entertaining in the right role.

As with all of the previous episodes, the real star here was the California scenery.  The mountains and the blue skies were inviting, no matter how dangerous the highways might have been.

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.14 “Golden Triangle: Part One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Castillo opens up!

Episode 1.14 “Golden Triangle: Part One”

(Dir by George Stanford Brown, originally aired on January 11th, 1985)

Okay, things are going to get a little complicated here.  This is one convoluted episode.

Crockett and Tubbs’s latest assignment has them pretending to be the head of security for a Miami hotel.  Castillo wants them to catch two crooked cops who are shaking down the prostitutes who use the hotel as their office.  Tubbs and Crockett aren’t happy about it because it makes them feel like they’re working for Internal Affairs but Castillo makes it clear that he has no patience for any dirty cops.

Unfortunately, they’re not having much success with the security gig.  The episode opens with Crockett and Tubbs subduing a guest who is freaking out on Angel Dust.  “Attack the whack!” as the Disco Godfather once put it.

Crockett decides to put on a pair of thick glasses and a pocket protector and sit by the pool.  He’s approached by Candy James (Robin Johnson), a high-class escort who asks Crockett if he wants to party.  Crockett promptly arrests her.

After Candy agrees to help Crockett and Tubbs (in return for her criminal record being wiped out of the system), Crockett and Tubbs decide to go undercover as pimps while still pretending to be hotel security guards.  When a guest named Albert Szarbo (John Snyder) and his unnamed Thai associate see Tubbs setting Gina up with her date (who is actually Zito), they decide that Crockett and Tubbs must be using the hotel as a front for their own prostitution operation.  Szarbo approaches Crockett and explains that he wants to rob all of the hotel’s safe deposit boxes.

With Candy’s help, Crockett and Tubbs discover that the crooked detectives are Herb Ross (Paul Austin) and Dan Garcia (Gary Jellum).  Ross and Garcia are arrested but are released just a few hours later.  Because they were not actually arrested by Crockett and Tubbs, they assume that Crockett and Tubbs are still just the hotel security guys but they also assume that Crockett must have snitched on them to the police and….

Wait?  What?  Seriously, how does everyone in Miami not know, at this point, that Crockett and Tubbs are cops?  They make no effort to hide the fact that they’re cops.  Even when they’re undercover, they refer to each other by their real names and spend half of their time talking about what’s going on back at the station.  Even if the criminals don’t know that Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover, you would at least expect their fellow police officers to know.

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, Candy.  Candy said she would leave Miami after Ross and Garcia were busted but, instead, she shows up back at the hotel.  Crockett is not happy about this but then he finds himself being confronted by Szarbo and Ross, who claims that Crockett is a snitch.  Candy steps up and announces that she’s the snitch, saving Crockett and Tubbs’s case.

However, it turns out that Szarbo was lying to Crockett about wanting Crockett and Tubbs to be present when he robbed the safety deposit boxes.  Instead, he was just using Crockett so that he could get a look at the vault before breaking in.  Szarbo and his associate pull off the robbery and are then murdered by whoever hired them.

Castillo takes one look at the body of Szarbo’s Thai associate and realizes that he was tortured to death by associates of Chinese General Lao Li, a drug lord who Castillo tangled with before he joined the Miami PD.  The normally stoic and unemotional Castillo opens up a little and reveals that he spend three years working undercover in Thailand for the DEA.  Castillo says that they need to discover why Lao Li wanted whatever was in the safety deposit boxes.

Leaving his office and helping Tubbs and Crockett with their investigation, Castillo stuns everyone by revealing that he’s actually a total badass who speaks Thai, knows martial arts, and can handle himself in a fight.  A search of all of Miami’s Thai restaurants eventually leads Castillo to Lao Li’s assassin.  After an exciting fight with Castillo, the assassin purposefully commits suicide by swallowing his own tongue.

Back at police headquarters, Castillo, Crockett, Tubbs, Zito, and Switek takes a look at some of the items that were recovered from Szarbo’s hotel room.  Castillo has deduced that Lao Li has come to the United States and his immigration visa was probably in one of the safety deposit boxes.  He then looks at a picture of an attractive Chinese woman.  (Some viewers will recognize her as being actress Joan Chen.)  When asked who the woman is, Castillo replies, “My wife.”

This was a great episode, with a wonderfully twisty plot and a great fight scene between Edward James Olmos and Paul Tenn.  After spending the past few episodes as a glowering figure who spent most of his time standing in his office and glaring at Crockett, Castillo revealed a bit about himself and it was fun to discover that this stoic figure was actually a total badass.

Next week: Part two of Golden Triangle!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.13 “Revolution!”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, the first season of Degrassi Junior High ends …. WITH A REVOLUTION!

Episode 1.13 “Revolution!”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on April 12th, 1987)

Degrassi Junior High’s first episode featured Stephanie Kaye running for and winning the office of student body president.  Stephanie flirted her way to victory, exchanging kisses for votes and asking the students to go “All the Way with Stephanie Kaye.”  Stephanie’s best friend, Voula, was scandalized but every guy at Degrassi voted Stephanie into office.  Having been elected, Stephanie swore to herself that she would be the best president the school had ever had.

As the first season progressed, it become obvious that Stephanie did not keep that promise to herself.  She got drunk at the first school dance.  She continued to snub anyone who wasn’t in Grade 8.  Stephanie developed a crush on Wheels and she spent more time trying to flirt with him than actually doing whatever it is that a student body president does.  With everyone getting tired of Stephanie’s attitude, it was obvious that it was only a matter of time before open revolution broke out.

This episode opens with Stephanie asking out Wheels, just for him to tell her that he can’t go out with her because he needed to spend his time studying for the end-of-term exams.  Miffed, Stephanie decides to make Wheels dangerous by pretending to like Joey, who has had a huge crush on Stephanie since the show began.

Stephanie is so obsessed with Wheels that she barely notices that, due to a student transferring to another school, the position of “sports rep” is now open.  The sports rep is a member of the student council who represents the athletic teams.  (I’ve never heard of a student council sports rep before.  Maybe it’s a Canadian thing.)  Traditionally, the sports rep is a member of Grade 7 and star basketball player Yick Yu wants to run for the position.  However, Stephanie decides to cancel the election and to just give the position to Joey, despite the fact that Joey is not even on a team!

Grade 7 erupts into open rebellion.  Soon, signs that announce “IMPEACH STEPHANIE KAYE” start appearing on the school walls.  Caitlin and Rick circulate a petition demanding that Stephanie step down.  After they finish their exams, the Grade 7 students storm the halls while chanting, “Out of our way, Stephanie Kaye!”

Meanwhile, Joey has been taunting Wheels about how he stole Wheels’s girlfriend from him.  However, Wheels overhears Erica and Heather Farrell talking about how Stephanie is only dating Joey to make Wheels jealous.  Wheels tells Joey and Joey asks the Farrell twins himself.  When Joey runs into the Grade 7 protestors, he announces that he doesn’t want to be sports rep because “It’s a Grade 7 position.”

Thoroughly humiliated, Stephanie has several minutes of flashbacks to the first episode of Degrassi Junior High.  Realizing that she hasn’t been very nice over the past few months, she walks home with her brother, Arthur.  (During the first episode, Stephanie ordered Arthur to not tell anyone that they were related.)  Arthur says that he enjoyed his first term of junior high.  Stephanie says that the second term is going to be totally different and much better.

While it’s good that Stephanie and Arthur’s storyline came full circle (and it also proves that the show’s writers were making some sort of effort to tell a realistic story, as opposed to just making it up as they went along in the style of Saved By The Bell), this episode is also important because this is the first episode in which Joey, Wheels, and Snake’s band is officially called “The Zit Remedy.”  This episode also featured them performing, for the first time, Everybody Wants Something, the only song that the band would ever write.

This episode also featured Mr. Raditch having a panic attack when he discovers that he’s left his end-of-term exams at home, which gave Dan Woods a chance to show off his comedic timing.  Given just how much of a jerk Mr. Raditch would eventually become in Degrassi: The Next Generation, it’s kind of nice to see him having a human moment in this episode.

And so, season one of Degrassi Junior High comes to an end.  It was a good season, without the unevenness that one often comes across in the first season of a long-running series.  This episode was absolutely everything that a season finale should be, bringing storylines to a close while hinting at future developments to come.

Next week, we start season two!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.10 “Car Pool”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, everybody wants something they’ll never give up.

Episode 1.10 “Car Pool”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on December 4th, 1985)

One rainy morning, Howard comes to work, just to discover that his assistant manager, Jack Christian, has parked his new BMW in Howard’s space.  As Jack explains it, there wasn’t any other place to park in the small lot.  The other employees all mention that all of their parking space were also taken by customers.  Howard tells his employees that he’s going to call Mrs. Cobb and tell her that they need a bigger parking lot.

That conversation does not go well.  As Howard explains afterwards, negotiations with Mrs. Cobb always involve “give and take.”  In this case, Mrs. Cobb gave Howard his job back after initially firing him and she even agreed to let him keep his parking space.  And then Mrs. Cobb took away everyone else’s parking space.

Needless to say, no one is happy about this.  (Considering that we already had a whole episode about Marlene organizing a union at the store, it’s a little surprising they don’t all stage a walk out in protest.)  However, Christian has a solution.  He organizes a car pool.  He agrees to pick everyone up in his van and drive them to work.  He’ll only charge each of them $5 for the trip to the store and then $8 for the trip home.  (“The drive home is mostly uphill,” Christian explains.)  After everyone agrees, Christian then swindles Howard out of an additional $40 to cover expenses.

Unfortunately, the van has faulty brakes and Christian ends up slamming into the back of someone else’s car while driving everyone to work.  As a result, everyone ends up in the hospital and Christian ends up getting sued by the woman who was driving the car that he hit.  He agrees to settle for $15,000, which he raises by selling his BMW to Howard.

However, no sooner has new luxury car owner Howard started wearing aviator shades and a scarf then a cop (played by Don Lake) shows up and inform Christian that the old woman he hit was actually a con artist and has been arrested.  The cop hands Christian back his money and Howard gives Christian back his BMW.  Then the cop mentions that the old woman tried to flee from police and crashed into a BMW, which causes Christian to faint.  The cop, however, is more concerned with talking to his bookie on the phone than with checking to see if Christian is still alive.

I haven’t even mentioned the scene where Edna explains that she doesn’t care about employee parking because she just parks illegally in the street.  When Howard asks her about the parking tickets that she gets, Edna says that she just tears them in half and tosses them in a nearby garbage can.  Way to go, Edna!  Of course, when the cop first shows up, there’s an extended sequence of Howard claiming that Edna is actually named Doris and that the Edna that the cop is looking for has gone on vacation to Cuba.

There was a lot going on in this weird but funny episode.  In this episode, the show acknowledges that, while dumb people can be funny, dumb people who think they’re smart are even funnier.  Everyone in this episode thought they were more clever than they actually were.  Howard thought he could talk Mrs. Cobb into expanding the parking lot.  Christian thought he could swindle the other employees (and it turned out that actually he could, even if his own natural bad luck ultimately thwarted him).  Con artist Ruby Wexler thought she could swindle Christian (and she nearly succeeded).  In the end, only Edna actually got away with anything, with the cop explaining that Edna had accidentally been issued diplomatic plates and was therefore not subject to traffic laws.  This episode definitely made me laugh more than any other episode of this show that I’ve watched so far.  Check that out.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/3/23 — 12/9/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I swear, as if I didn’t already have enough reasons to resent Big Brother, the latest season took up so much of my time and energy that I still haven’t been able to get caught up with my favorite reality show, The Amazing Race.  The season ends next week and I’m still struggling to get up-to-speed with it all.  That said, I did enjoy this week’s trip to Ireland.

Bar Rescue (Paramount Plus)

On Monday morning, I watched an episode from the first season.  Jon Taffer went to an Irish bar in Redondo Beach.  Because this was the first season, Taffer didn’t yell as much as he would in later seasons and a lot more emphasis was put on “bar science.”  It was kind of nice.  I’m not a huge fan of nonstop yelling.  A little anger goes a long way.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of the week’s episode of Check It Out! will post on this site in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Dancing With The Stars (Tuesday Night, ABC)

Between Big Brother and the holidays, I didn’t really keep up with the latest season of Dancing With The Stars.  (And, to be honest, So You Think You Can Dance was always the better dance competition show.)  I did catch the finale this week.  Congratulations to Xochitl and Van!  I kind of wish Jamie Lynn Spears had made it to the finale as a competitor, just because twitter or X or whatever the heck it’s called now would have exploded.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Monday, largely as a result of watching HBO’s Love Has Won docuseries, I went down the Dr. Phil cult rabbit hole and I watched two episodes.  The first featured an unstable woman who had been brainwashed by a fake psychic.  I followed this up with an episode in which a cult leader was confronted by anti-cult activist Rick Ross.  The cult leader started out trying to be smooth and clever but he lost it as soon as he was challenged.  I’ve been pretty critical of Dr. Phil in the past but I do always enjoy watching him take down a cult leader.

On Wednesday, I watched an episode about a husband and a wife who had been having issues ever since the wife lost a good deal of weight and became “too hot.”  Personally, I think everyone was too judgmental of the wife.  She was just having a good time and if her husband couldn’t handle not being the center of attention anymore, well then I guess it just sucks to be him.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Frasier (Paramount Plus)

Finally, after being so disappointed with the premiere, I watched episodes two and three of the Frasier revival.  The second episode featured Frasier trying to connect with Freddy and meeting his son’s co-workers (none of whom knew that Frasier was Freddy’s father).  The third and marginally better episode featured Frasier trying to overcome his “celebrity” status and be taken seriously as a Harvard lecturer.

Both episodes suffered from the same problem, which was also present in the premiere.  Kelsey Grammer does his usual good work.  At this point, he might as well be Frasier Crane.  But all of the other characters are either underwritten or just plan unlikable.  Freddy is a self-righteous jerk and, considering who his parents are and how he was portrayed as a child, it makes no sense that he would grow up to become a blue collar sports fanatic.  Next door neighbor Eve is boring.  Frasier’s Harvard colleagues are clichés.  Watching the show is depressing because you’re like, “Frasier gave up that great apartment in Seattle for this!?”  That’s the problem with reboots.  No one wants to think about classic TV characters getting older and moving into a less impressive apartment.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox and Hulu)

I got caught up on Hell’s Kitchen this week.  Both Jason and Carmen need to get over themselves.  I hope Ryan wins because I like listening to the sound of his voice.

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

And my review is here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Monday Night, FOX)

There were two new episodes this week.  Gordon Ramsay saved a historic hot dog place and then he saved an Indian restaurant.  The first episode was entertaining because of all the personal drama between the owners.  Seriously, don’t ever try to run a business with someone who you are no longer sleeping with.  The second episode was sweet because the owner was such a nice guy but he also drove everyone crazy because he was a micromanager.  By the end of the show, he was trying to enjoy being retired.  It’s always kind of nice to see Chef Ramsay being nice to people, as opposed to telling them to “GET OUT!”

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched a Christmas special from some time in the late 80s.  There was some fun new wave-style Christmas music, though the show was stolen by Tony Bennett’s far more traditional style.

Shrek the Halls (ABC, Saturday Night)

I didn’t realize how much I miss Shrek and the gang until I watched this 2007 special earlier tonight.  Christmas is a season that even an ill-tempted ogre can enjoy!

The Simpsons (Disney+)

On Tuesday night, I watched an old episode of The Simpsons.  Feeling that The Itchy and Scratchy Show needed to be shaken up with a new character, the show’s producers demanded that an obnoxious dog named Poochie be added to the cast.  Homer was cast as Poochie but the viewing public did not react quite as positively to the new character as Homer was hoping.  This episode made me laugh more than a few times.  I especially liked that a new character named Roy suddenly showed up in the Simpson household at the same time Poochie was showing up on Itchy and Scratchy.  Everyone pretended like Roy had always been there but, after Poochie was killed off, Roy also announced that he was leaving the Simpson household to move on with “two sexy ladies.”

Survivor (CBS, Wednesday Night)

Emily was voted out after Julie played an immunity idol.  Boooo!  Seriously, that sucks.  Emily was the only person on the show that I liked.  All of the stupid twists and immunity idols are causing good players to get voted out and I’m getting kind of tired of it.  What I wouldn’t give for a season that was a return to Survivor basics, with no idols, no twists, and no weepy backstories.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.1 “Sweathog Back To School Special”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, season 3 begins!

Episode 3.1 “Sweathog Back to School Special”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on September 10th, 1977)

A new school year approaches and the Sweathogs have decided to throw a surprise party for their favorite teacher!  Julie and Woodman (who makes it a point to say that he was against the party) lead Gabe to his classroom and surprise!  The Sweathogs even spent $5.75 to get Gabe a new watch.

Gabe and the Sweathogs talk about everything that they’ve been through over the past year and….

Yep, it’s a clip show.

Usually, I skip over clip shows but I did watch this one, just because the first season and the first half of the second season of Welcome Back, Kotter were both pretty good.  Unfortunately, the first half of this clip show was more devoted to catch phrases than sharing classic scenes.  As such, we got a lot of clips of Horshack laughing, Freddie saying “Hi there,” Epstein handing over notes, and Barbarino dancing.  It allowed all four of the main Sweathogs to show off their trademarks but it also made the overall series seem even more gimmicky than it was.

It was only during the second half of the episode that the show offered up some clips from the first season in which Gabe helped each Sweathog find their confidence.  Gabe encouraged Barbarino to get tutoring.  He played a game of basketball with Freddie and, even though Gabe lost big time, Freddie still agreed to take a makeup exam.  Gabe told Epstein that he knew there was a sensitive soul underneath Epstein’s fierce exterior.  And Gabe listened as Horshack talked about the reality of being the class weirdo.  I was glad these clips were included because they served as a reminder that the show started out as an earnest series about a teacher trying to help kids who had been written off by the system.  John Travolta, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Robert Hegyes, and Ron Palillo all showed, in those early episodes, that they were capable of more than just delivering jokey one-liners.

The best part of the episode was when Gabe said, “Remember that time I nearly got fired?” and Woodman replied, “That was a wonderful day.”  John Sylvester White could do a lot with a one-liner and one of the pleasures of the show was discovering just how truly out there Woodman could be.

As for Julie, she remembered the time the Sweathogs destroyed the apartment while trying to clean it.  She still didn’t appear to have forgiven the Sweathogs but that could just be because, as always, Marcia Strassman came across as if she would rather be doing anything other than co-starring on Welcome Back, Kotter.

Once all the clips have been shown, Gabe asks everyone if he’s ever told them about his Uncle Morris, bringing the party (and the episode) to an abrupt end as everyone flees the classroom.

Next week, Julie gives birth and Barbarino drops out of school!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.10 “Tales of the Undead”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Ryan learns why you never meet your heroes.

Episode 1.10 “Tales of the Undead”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbock, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)

Comic book fan Ryan is shocked when he witnesses the murder of the owner of his favorite comic book store.  He’s even more shocked by the fact that the murderer appeared to a legendary comic book character, a robot who was created and drawn by an artist named Jay Star.

Micki is skeptical when Ryan tells her that he thinks one of his favorite comic book characters has come to life.  Despite having dealt with a cursed doll and quill that could kill someone just by being used to write that person’s name, Micki draws the line at living comic book characters.  However, Ryan does some research and discovers that a cursed comic book was indeed purchased from the store.

Seriously, think about this.  Ryan not only witnesses a murder but the murder is committed by his favorite comic book character and then he discovers that it’s all linked to the cursed antique store where Ryan just happens to work.  That’s an amazing coincidence!  Jack would probably be concerned about how all of that came to happen but, oddly enough, Jack is not in this episode.

Instead, it falls to Ryan and Micki to track down the comic book.  This leads them to the man who created the robot, Jay Star (played by special guest star Ray Waltson).  Jay Star created the robot in the 40s and became a hero to comic book readers everywhere but he feels that he wasn’t properly compensated for his services.  (This is something that happens far too often to real comic book artists as well.  Some people have definitely gotten a lot of money as a result of all the Marvel films but the families of Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko have not.)  The comic book company kept the rights to his character and they refused to publish the issue in which Jay killed him off.  The company is still making money off of Jay’s work while Jay lives in obscurity as a recluse.  At the start of the episode, Jay Star does not own the cursed comic book.  However, he does manage to track it down and steal it from its current owner, Cal (David Hewlett).  Soon, Jay is transforming into the killer robot and seeking revenge on everyone who he feels has betrayed him.

This was one of the stronger episodes of Friday the 13th.  What really set this episode apart from some of the ones that came before and after was that Ryan had a personal stake in recovering the cursed item.  As he explains it to Micki, comic books were the one constant he had during his dysfunctional childhood.  He grew up admiring artists like Jay Star and dreaming of being one of them and of being a hero who could solve all of the world’s problems.  In this episode, Ryan discovers that his hero is a murderer and John D. LeMay does a very good job of playing Ryan’s disillusionment.  The episode ends on a rather sweet note, with Micki encouraging Ryan to remember Jay Star for his talent and not for his crimes.

The episode is also distinguished by Ray Waltson’s empathetic performance as Jay Star, a villain for whom you can’t help but have some sympathy.  When Jay transforms into the killer robot, the episode itself switches to comic book-style animation, which is one of those gimmicks that works far better than one might expect.  Even the robot was about as scary as a monster on a low-budget show like this could possibly be!

This was a good episode.  I hope Ryan never stopped drawing.