Tag Archives: television

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu.  I had to purchase it on Prime.  I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu.  The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.

Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)

Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible.  Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum.  He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA.  Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.

Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist.  What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig.  Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine.  Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing.  When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty.  He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are.  Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth.  Craig laughs.  And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.

And you know what?  Dr. Samuels totally deserved it.  Good for you, Dr. Craig!

(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot.  They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)

Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head.  Ward 5 is re-opened!  Yay!  Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet.  While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.

That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients.  Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father.  Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer.  Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets.  Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat.  “Caw!  Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on  a chair.  The cat, for its part, just looks confused.

In other words, the marriage is off.  Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore.  The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera.  Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….

This was a weird but ultimately effective episode.  I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story.  Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish.  But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph.  Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.

Oh well.  I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.9 “Code Name: FREAK”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, the highway leads to college and R-rated movies!

Episode 3.9 “Code Name: FREAK”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 19th, 1986)

Jonathan and Mark have been assigned to work on a college campus.  While Jonathan gets to teach a computer class, Mark is assigned to be the resident assistant of a rowdy bunch of jocks who all live in the same dorm.  This episode continues the Highway to Heaven tradition of Mark always being humiliated by the assignment.  If I was Mark, I would be wondering why “the boss” always gives me the worst possible jobs.

Chris Gunn (Jeff Bryan Davis) is starting his first semester at the college.  He’s smart, he’s well-read, and he’s desperate to make friends with everyone.  Unfortunately, Chris is also only 13 years old and, even if he did graduate from high school, there’s no way he should be away from home at the college.  He has no friends.  No one invites him to any parties.  Chris is refused entry to an R-rated movie because he is not accompanied by an adult.

Chris’s roommate is Danny (Gary Hershberger), a football player who  is not quite as shallow as his fellow jocks.  When it looks like Danny might flunk his computer class, Danny’s frat brothers offer to accept Chris into the frat if Chris agrees to hack into Jonathan’s commercial and get the answers for the next big test. Chris does so but then double-crosses Danny by giving him all the wrong answers.  Chris’s not as naive as everyone thought!

Danny flunks the test and loses his spot on the football team.  When its learned that he cheated, Danny loses his scholarship and is expelled for refusing to reveal how he got the answers for the test.  Danny, knowing what happens to narcs, refuses to sell out and lit appears that he’s going to lose his scholarship as a result.  Stunned that Danny didn’t want to get him in trouble, Chris tells the truth to the school’s dean.  Danny is allowed to stay and after some prodding from Jonathan, the dean decides to allow Chris to stay as well.

Chris and Danny are both super-excited and have a new found respect for each other.  They celebrate by….

GOING TO AN R-RATED MOVIE!  Danny accompanies Chris so Chris gets to see a movie that’s he’s probably too young for!  Yay!

This is a prototypical episode of Highway to Heaven.  It’s unapologetically sentimental and rather predictable but it’s also so incredibly earnest and sincere that it doesn’t really matter.  We want to see everything work out for everyone and fortunately, it does.

Myself, it will never not amuse me that, after learning that he won’t be expelled and neither will Danny, Chris’s firth thought is that they should go catch an R-rated picture while they still have time.  And Danny agrees!  I always want to know what type of film are they watching.  Is it a slasher film or a mindless high school comedy or maybe something featuring a bunch of fast cars and occasionally juvenile behavior?

This was a classic episode.  I assume Danny and Chris are still best friends.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a special guest star is forced to appear on the show.

Episode 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 9th, 1999)

Jason and Scott are totally excited because their Uncle Charlie is coming to visit.  As they explain to Murray, Uncle Charlie has been in the Marines for 30 years and is a total badass.  Murray says that he tried to join the Marines but was classified as being “FW.”  “Freaking weirdo,” Murray says.  Peter then says that he doesn’t like it when Charlie comes to visit because Charlie always make fun of him for being too thin.  Really when this show started and Peter was supposed to be like a seriously cool surfer dude?

Anyway, Charlie shows up and he’s played by Dick Butkus.  After finishing up both Hang Time and Half-Nelson, I thought I was done with reviewing anything to do with Dick Butkus but nope, here he is in yet another Peter Engel-produced show!  I imagine that Butkus did this show as a favor to Peter Engel or maybe Butkus was just under a contract that he couldn’t get out of.  Still, it’s hard not to notice that Butkus does not appear to be particularly enthusiastic about appearing on Malibu CA.  While it’s true that Butkus always came across as being more of an ex-athlete than an actor (because, of course, that’s exactly what he was), Butkus still at least made an effort on Hang Time.  In Malibu, CA, Butkus seems to be struggling to stay awake.

Uncle Charlie is upset because the Marines want him to consider retirement.  Charlie works out his frustration by having Jason and Scott do calisthenics.  (He’s not their favorite uncle anymore!)  But then Charlie starts hanging out with Murray and Murray encourages Charlie to be a beach bum.  That sounds good to Charlie and I have to admit that I think Dick Butkus hanging out on the beach in a Hawaiian shirt with Murray actually had a lot of potential.  I’m as surprised as anyone that Murray has turned out to be this show’s saving grace but he has.  I guess we should be glad the Marines didn’t take him.

Charlie’s new beach-centric philosophy becomes a problem when Charlie finds himself being considered for a job at a military school.  The school doesn’t want beach bums!  Can Jason and Scott straighten Charlie out?  Will Jason ever manage to get through a scene without looking straight at the camera for his cue?  Who cares?

As for the B-plot, Traycee has tickets to the Beastie Boys.  She invites Stads and Sam to come to the concert with her.  Awwww, how nice!  “You’ve only got two tickets!” Stads snaps because, for some reason, the show has decided that Stads should always be in a bitchy mood.  (Remember when the show started and Stads was vaguely likable?)  Sam and Stads compete for the title of Traycee’s best friend.  Years later, Paris Hilton had a reality competition show based around the same concept.

This episode was dull.  When not even Dick Butkus can make your actors look good by comparison, you’ve got a problem.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.5 “Outpost”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

I have a cold and a slight fever so tonight’s review is going to be a short one.

Episode 3.5 “Outpost”

(Dir by T.K. Hudson, originally aired on October 28th. 1990)

In the far future, a space mining company is transforming terminally ill people into cyborg mutants and sending them to work on inhospitable planets in return for keeping them alive.  Cara (Juliet Mills), a representative of the company, is sent to one of the outposts to discover why the horribly disfigured Sebastian (Tony Fields) is no longer doing his job.

Separated by a layer of glass, Sebastian and Cara have a 19-minute conversation.  Cara is rude and condescending and makes it clear that she has zero concern for the well-being of Sebastian.  This is perhaps as bitchy as the world will ever see a Mills sister act, which is really saying something when you consider some of the Saved By The Bell episodes in which Hayley Mills played Miss Bliss.  Sebastian has been hearing voices and is tempted to just wander across the alien landscape until he dies.  Why should he spent the rest of eternity miserable and alone.

Cara gets annoyed.  She says that work is important.  Why, when her husband was ill and dying, she didn’t even bother to take off from her job to visit him.  He died while she was away or, at least, that’s what the company told her….

Can you see where this is going?

This episode benefitted from the performances of Juliet Mills and Tony Fields but the story was extremely predictable.  The dialogue was definitely a bit more intelligent than we’ve seen in previous episodes of Monsters and I respected the episode’s ambition but, in the end, the story dragged a bit and the big twist was easily guessed.  This was not a terrible episode but it wasn’t particularly memorable either.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.13 “Doc Take the Fifth/Safety Last/A Business Affair”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love, exciting and new….

Episode 5.13 “Doc Take the Fifth/Safety Last/A Business Affair”

(Dir by Bruce Bilson, originally aired on Jan. 2nd, 1982)

Returning from his vacation, Doc boards the boat with a young Russian blonde woman named Tania (Irena Ferris).  Oh, the crew says, Doc has a new girlfriend.

No, Doc has a new wife!  Doc and Tania met after Doc saw her performing as a member of a communist symphony during his vacation.  They struck up a conversation and, according to Doc, it was love at first sight,  After a whirlwind courtship, Doc and Tania got married, mere hours before heading to the boat.  It’s going to be a working honeymoon for Doc and he can’t wait to consummate the marriage.  The crew can’t wait for him to do it either.  (Seriously, they are oddly obsessed with Doc Bricker’s sex life.)  This is Doc’s fifth marriage and it’s going to last!

Except …. Tania doesn’t seem to want to consummate the marriage.  In fact, once the boat sets sail, Tania seems to be avoiding Doc.  Doc wonders if maybe Tania is just shy but seriously — refusing to have sex with your new husband on a luxury cruise ship?  No one’s that shy!  Then Doc spies Tania kissing another passenger.

“Adam,” the captain says, “you don’t know Tania that well.”

Indeed, Adam does not.  Eventually, Tania tells Doc Bricker the truth.  She married Adam so she could stay in the country with the true love of her life, political dissident Mikhail (Kai Wulff).  Tania says that she really, really likes Doc but she is not in love with him.  Both Tania and Mikhail apologize to Doc and tell him that Tania will get the marriage annulled and return to Russia.

Personally, I think Doc would have been justified in tossing them both overboard.  Instead, Doc asks Captain Stubing to call a friend at the State Department and arrange for Tania to get permanent refugee status in the United States.  Awwww, that was nice of Doc!

This storyline was depressing but, as I’ve said before, I always appreciate it when The Love Boat allows Doc Bricker to be something other than just a lech.  Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it was always nice when he got to play Doc as being a nice guy as opposed to a manipulative sex addict.  Kopell did an especially good job in this episode, especially at the end where he appears to be on the verge of tears as he watches Tania and Mikhail leave the boat.

As for the other two stories, neither one was particularly interesting.  A safety inspector (Don Adams) is so obsessed with safety that he nearly misses a chance for romance with Alice (Britt Ekland).  Luckily, Isaac is there to set him straight.  A business executive (Robert Fuller) is upset that everyone thinks he’s sleeping with his Vice President (Judy Norton).  But then he falls in love with her and sleeps with her for real so I guess the rumors were true!

Those stories were boring but Doc’s story redeemed this week’s cruise.  Poor Doc!  Maybe the sixth time will be the charm.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.2 “First Shoot”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops continue to expect to be taken seriously.

Episode 1.2 “First Shoot”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on March 9th, 1996)

It’s a busy time for the bicycle cops of Santa Monica.

Elvis (David Lander), the bicycle repairman who speaks with an indecipherable accent, is paranoid because a group of Bulgarian men are wandering the beach and asking if anyone knows where they can find him.  It turns out that the men are not dangerous but instead, they are the members of Bulgaria’s Olympic bicycling team.  They want Elvis to be their official team repairman.  However, Elvis previously had an affair with the girlfriend of one of the Olympians so he declines the offers.  He prefers the glamour of California.

Meanwhile, a pickpocket is robbing people on the boardwalk.  When he makes the mistake of grabbing the wallet of an old Italian man named Mr. Tataglia (Joseph Campanella), Tataglia goes to Lt. Palermo and explains that he wants the wallet back because it contains a picture of his wife.  He would consider it a matter of personal respect if Palermo retrieved the wallet and he promises to repay the favor.  Fortunately, the brave bicycle cops do catch the pickpocket.  Mr. Tataglia watches from a distance and nods.  I guess Mr. Tataglia is meant to be a mobster.  Believe it or not, not all Italians are in the Mafia.  I’m a fourth-Italian and I’m fairly sure that side of my family is not mob-related.

While that’s going on, Chris and Del Toro ride their bikes out to a film set and provide security for a spoiled movie star named Scott Magruder (Bojesse Christopher).  Chris is the one who has a crush on Magruder but it’s Del Toro who is seduced by the prospect of fame.  When Magruder gives Del Toro a line in the movie, Del Toro has visions of movie stardom in his head.  But then the scene gets cut.  Sorry, Del Toro, looks like you’re just going to have to spend the rest of your life riding around the beach on a Schwinn like a dumbass.  Scott later gets arrested in a bar fight but it turns out it was a publicity stunt.  Chris is saddened to learn that celebs aren’t as likable in real life as they are in the gossip pages.  Myself, I’m just wondering why Chris has gone from being the smart and driven character that she was in the pilot to being a total airhead just one episode later.

Finally, Cory and the bike cops help the real cops bust a group of drug dealers.  Cory shoots an aspiring rapper named Rasheed (Jeremiah Birkett).  Rasheed claims that he didn’t have a gun.  Cory is determined to prove that he did.  Apparently, this was the first time that Cory ever shot anyone.  Strangely, it doesn’t seem to rattle her at all that she nearly ended someone else’s life.  I mean, it seems like most people would have a more emotional reaction to nearly killing a man, even if that guy was a criminal with a gun.  Cory, however, is cool and calm and kind of creepy about it.  It’s established that Cory comes from a family of cops so maybe that’s why the shooting doesn’t faze her.

There was a lot going on in this episode.  Actually, there was probably too much going on.  This is only the second episode of the show and it’s not like any of the characters have really developed much of an individual personality.  Everyone is still pretty much interchangeable.  As a result, none of the action in this show carried much of an emotional impact.  The characters are all still strangers to me.

Maybe things will improve next week.

(Seriously, let’s hope so!  I’ve got a lot of episodes to make my way through before I’m done with Pacific Blue.)

 

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.1 “Curse of the Moreaus/My Man Friday”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Welcome to the sixth season of Fantasy Island!

Episode 6.1 “Curse of the Moreaus/My Man Friday”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 16th, 1982)

A new season has begun and the fifth season’s Julie experiment is officially over.  Mr. Roarke is back and Tattoo is once again his only assistant.  Julie is not only missing but she’s not even mentioned in this episode.  Personally, I think Julie went to college on the mainland or maybe she married Gopher from the Love Boat.  Either way, Julie is gone and Fantasy Island is back to normal.

This week’s fantasies both felt familiar.  It was another haunted house fantasy and another “secretary-becomes-the-boss fantasy.”  After spending nearly ten years as a secretary at an ad agency, Linda Whitney (Pamela Hensley) has watched as her stupid boss, Ed Turner (Avery Schrieber) has taken credit for all of her ideas and as everyone has gotten promoted but her.  Linda wants to be an executive and fortunately, Mr. Roarke knows the president of her company.  Linda has received a promotion to the executive suite.  She has 48 hours to prove herself or she’ll be “demoted” back to secretary.

(Demoted is in scare quotes because, right out of college, I worked as an administrative assistant and let me just say that a good assistant is the most important person in any office.)

What’s odd about this fantasy is that Mr. Roarke arranges for Linda’s office to be transported to Fantasy Island.  But all of Linda’s co-workers are transported to the Island as well.  In fact, the entire building seems to now be on Fantasy Island.  I mean, at this point, we all know that Mr. Roarke can pretty much do anything but even this seems a bit extreme for a fantasy that is clearly established as not being something that’s just happening in Linda’s head.  Mr. Roarke is somehow transporting office buildings now.  Were Linda’s co-workers given any warning before being transported to the Island?

It’s not easy being an executive.  Her old boss wants her to fail.  All of her former secretarial colleagues want her to fail.  Can Linda get land the big account?  Sure, she can.  Luckily, she has a male secretary named Jack Friday (James Houghton) to help out!  By the end of the episode, Linda has come to realize that she treated the handsome Jack almost as poorly and objectified Jack almost as much Ed Turner did to her.  Then again, Jack does introduce himself by saying that he likes working for women because they have “better legs.”  All that said, I liked the fantasy.  I liked that Linda kept her promotion.  I liked that she worked with Jack without falling in love with him.  I like that she left the Island on her own, satisfied with her new career.

As for the other fantasy, Jack Moreau (Stuart Whitman) is haunted by nightmares in which he kills his wife, Kathy (Barbara Rush).  Agck!  It turns out that Moreau men are cursed.  They murder their wives on their 50th birthday.  Jack failed to mention this to Kathy when they got married.  That’s probably grounds for divorce.  Anyway, Mr. Roarke sends them to spend Jack’s birthday weekend in the Moreau plantation, where they are watched by a mysterious servant (Raymond St. Jacques) who seems to be all about driving Jack to murder his wife.  Fortunately, Jack does not murder his wife.  Kathy tells Jack that she loves him and the curse is broken.  Hey, that was easy!  That said, I enjoyed this fantasy.  The Fantasy Island haunted house stories always have a lot of atmosphere to them.  They’re fun to watch.

This was a good start of the season.  It was nice to see Tattoo and Roarke joking again.  Tattoo points out that a good boss needs good people working for him and Tattoo’s absolutely right.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.4 “High Octane”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, CHiPs deals with the oil crisis!

Episode 3.4 “High Octane”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 6th, 1979)

Tonight’s episode of CHiPs is a real history lesson.

The episode was aired at a time when the U.S. was suffering from a shortage of gasoline.  Conflict in Iran had led to both the Shah fleeing the country and Americans being taken hostage.  Oil production fell, OPEC raised its prices, and people panicked and started to hoard gasoline.  Many states instituted odd-even gas rationing, which meant that only people with an odd-numbered license plate could purchase gas on an odd-numbered day and only people with an even-numbered license plate could purchase gas on an even-numbered day.  As so often happens when the government attempts to micromanage a crisis, this only made things worse as there were soon long lines at the pump and reports of fights breaking out between people at gas stations.  Even with the rationing, many gas stations ran out of gasoline before they could serve every customer.  If you didn’t arrive early enough, chances were that you would not be able to put gas in your car,

California was one of the many states to institute odd-even rationing and this episode of CHiPs is all about the battle over gasoline.  Two crooks are siphoning gas from independent gas stations and then reselling it to other stations.  (Their biggest customer is played by veteran screen tough guy, Aldo Ray.)  Getraer is injured when he crashes his bike while chasing the two crooks, which makes this case personal for Ponch and Baker.  Meanwhile, Ponch and Baker have to break up fights at the gas station, chase yet another guy who was caught siphoning gas from a car, and save yet another motorist who passes out from the fumes of all the gas cans that he had in the backset of his car.  Ponch even starts to date Beth (Ellen Bry), because she works at a gas station and can tell him the best time to show up to make sure that he and Baker are able to fill up their bikes.  Meanwhile, at headquarters, Harlan is giving lessons on the best way to keep unused fuel from evaporating.

Of course, it wouldn’t be CHiPs if there wasn’t also a light-hearted sports angle.  This week, everyone’s into roller hockey.  Ponch serves as the referee for the CHP-sponsored kids’ roller hockey game and everyone agrees that he’s the best referee that they’ve ever seen.  And why not?  He’s Ponch and, by the time the third season rolled around, CHiPs was definitely The Ponch Show.  Later, the adult officer play roller hockey as well.  It’s the show’s way of saying, “California’s still fun, even with the gas rationing!”

I enjoyed this episode because I’m a history nerd and it was interesting to see how the show dealt with the 1979 oil crisis while it was occurring.  It’s interesting that this episode was a bit cynical about rationing, as CHiPs was usually a show that portrayed the government and its policies as positively as possible.  In 1979, even the audiences of CHiPs was fed up with having to pay — let me check my notes to make sure I have this right — nearly a dollar a gallon for gas.

Really?  Just 90 cents for a gallon gas?  Get me a time machine.  I’m going to 1979!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.13 “Down For The Count: Part Two”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week is all about justice for Zito!

Episode 3.13 “Down For The Count: Part Two”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 16th, 1987)

Picking up where last week’s episode ended, Down For The Count: Part Two finds almost the entire Vice Squad mourning the death of Larry Zito.  I say “almost” because, as usual, Castillo refuses to show any emotion or even look anyone in the eye.  When he first appeared, Castillo’s stoicism made him an interesting character but I have to admit that I’m starting to get a bored with the character and his refusal to speak in anything more than terse growls.  ZITO’S DEAD!  WAKE UP, CASTILLO!

Switek, needless to say, is heart-broken.  Trudy tells Gina that she had a totally meaningless one night stand with some guy she met at a club because she was depressed.  (“Did it make you feel better?” Gina asks.  “No!” Trudy wails.)  Crockett is determined to take down crooked boxing promoter Oswaldo Guzman (Pepe Serna) and prove that Zito was not a junkie but that he was instead murdered by Guzman’s goons.  As for Tubbs, he makes a few jokes.  WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, TUBBS!?  ZITO’S DEAD!

Crockett and Tubbs go undercover as Burnett and Cooper and, once again, I find myself wondering how they can keep successfully doing that when their cover has gotten blown over a dozen times over the course of the series.  Do criminals in Miami not talk to each other?  This time, Crockett pretends to be involved with a cable sports network that wants to make a deal to air the fights that Guzman sponsors.  When a Las Vegas gangster named Guilinni (former Warhol superstar Joe Dallesandro) shows up looking to kill Guzman, Crockett and Tubbs effortlessly manipulate both sides.  It turns out that criminals aren’t that smart.

Meanwhile, Trudy and Gina meet one of Crockett’s associates from the Vietnam War.  His name is Danny Allred (Chris Elliott) and he’s a former CIA agent who now lives in an abandoned airplane.  Danny is a codebreaker and he helps them to figure out the code that Guzman was using to keep track of all of his crooked fights.  Danny is a fun character and I hope he shows up in more episodes.  He added some moments of levity to what was otherwise a pretty grim episode.

This episode had plenty of good moments.  The scene where Crockett and Tubbs visited Zito’s apartment was both poignant and nicely-acted by both Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas.  The final shoot-out was violent even by the standards of Miami Vice.  That said, I’m a bit surprised that the episode didn’t revolve around Switek.  Switek gets to express his anger and argue with Internal Affairs at the start of the episode and gets to repeatedly shoot Guzman at the end of the episode but he’s largely absent for the middle part of the story.  As Switek was both Zito’s partner and his best friend, it really does seem like he should have been at the center of the entire episode.

Still, I was glad that Zito’s name was cleared and that Guzman ended up getting shot multiple times until he fell out a window.  The show’s final credits featured still shots of John Diehl as Zito.  I’m going to miss Larry.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.7 “Just Friends”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, Wheels breaks another heart.

Episode 1.7 “Just Friends”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on December 12th, 1989)

Heather Farrell has a crush on Wheels so Erica Farrell helps her throw a party so she can invite Wheels to their house and share a dance with him and maybe discover if he feels the same way about her that she does about him.  Of course, Wheels doesn’t feel that way about Heather and is surprised when Snake informs him that Heather obviously has a crush on him.  Still, that doesn’t stop Wheels from making out with Heather on her front porch while all of the party guests watch through the front window.

Heather has a boyfriend!

Well, no.  Actually, Wheels tells Snake that he still doesn’t like Heather like that and that making out with her is just something that happened.  He’s only interested in her as a friend.  (AGCK!  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  This is actually a lot more realistic than what happens on most high school shows but poor Heather!)  Wheels is supposed to call Heather when he gets home so that they can talk.  Of course, Wheels doesn’t call Heather and he ends up with not one but both of the Farrell twins mad at him and giving him their trademark evil eye.

(Of course, as we all know, Wheels is eventually going to be sent for prison after he runs over a kid while driving drunk so, really, the Farrell twins kind of lucked out here.)

The main problem with any episode that centers around the Farrell twins is that it’s difficult to remember which is which and neither one of them is really that interesting of a character.  I spent most of this episode trying to remember whether it was Erica or Heather who had the abortion.  I’m pretty sure it was Erica, which explains why Erica freaked out when she saw Heather making out with Wheels.  Erica doesn’t want the same thing that happened to her to happen to Heather.  But, aside from that, the Farrells have always kind of been boring characters and their party looked kind of lame as well.

Lucy was invited to the party but, instead of going, she instead went to the hospital to visit with L.D., who had just been told that she had Leukemia.  Good for Lucy!  One of the best parts of Degrassi High has been watching Lucy go from being self-centered and kind of mean to being one of the show’s most genuinely nice characters.  To the show’s credit, it’s shown her slowly becoming more emotionally mature as opposed to just having her change overnight.  It’s another example of how Degrassi High was realistic in the way that most teen shows were not and still aren’t.

Finally, Kathleen, Melanie, and Diana went to a movie but they didn’t invite their friend Maya (Kyra Levy) because Maya is in a wheelchair.  They didn’t think Maya would have been able to take the “streetcar” to the movie and the theater was not wheelchair accessible.  The next day, an angry Maya tells them that she could have gotten a ride from her mom and that they could have gone to a different theater that was accessible.  Maya angrily tells them not to assume that she can’t do things just because she’s in a wheelchair.  Good for Maya!  Myself, I’m just happy to see that Kathleen has apparently dumped the abusive Scott and is refusing to speak to him.  Good for for Kathleen!

This episode was a good example of how Degrassi High dealt realistically with being a teenager.  The Farrell twins are kind of boring but the L.D. and Maya subplots were well-handled.  This was a good episode, even if both Joey and Caitlin were noticeably absent.