What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #64: The 70th Annual Golden Globes

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 70th Annual Golden Globe awards. Judging from twitter, so did a lot of other people. All I can say is that I hope my golden globes are as popular as this show when they’re 70 years old.

Why Was I Watching It?

I have to admit that I nearly didn’t watch it because I was in kind of a crappy mood on Sunday night. Seriously,that night, my twitter timeline was a testament to just how annoyed this little redheaded Irish girl can get. But, in the end, I decided that I had to watch the Golden Globes because, even though I don’t care much for rich celebrities, I do love movies, I love TV, and I love award shows. Add to that, I knew that if I didn’t watch the Golden Globes that would mean missing out on a chance to make countless references to my boobs and I just couldn’t do that to my followers on twitter.

What Was It About?

It was about celebrities getting drunk and winning awards and getting bleeped while delivering their acceptance speeches. It was about the fact that the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association will do anything to get George Clooney to come hang out with them. It was about Tommy Lee Jones glaring, Jodie Foster rambling, and Quentin Tarantino using the n-word backstage. It was about Ben Affleck winning Best Director and Argo beating Lincoln for best film. It was about star fucking and star mocking. It was the best of award shows and it was the worst of award shows. In short, it was the Golden Globes.

What Worked?

To be honest, the 70th annual Golden Globes were a lot of fun. The show moved quickly and most of the jokes were actually funny. The assembled stars started drinking early and I think that helped out a lot.

Among those who won Golden Globes, the best acceptance speeches were given by Lena Dunham, Christoph Waltz, Ben Affleck, and Daniel Day-Lewis. A lot of people were critical of Anne Hathaway’s acceptance speech but I thought it was sweet and genuine.

My favorite winner was Jennifer Lawrence, mostly because she specifically started her speech by mentioning that she had beaten “Meryl.” Some people on twitter felt that was a bit rude but, quite frankly, I’ve grown tired of Meryl Streep showing up at every awards ceremony looking like grandma in a prom dress.

(Meryl, incidentally, was not at the Golden Globes last night because she had the flu.)

I thought Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were funny when they did their little introduction for the Best Actress (Comedy/Musical) award but I thought Tommy Lee Jones’ annoyed glare was even funnier.

Tina Fey (who looked great) and Amy Poehler (who did not) were both great hosts and I loved Poelher’s joke about how torturous it must have been for Kathryn Bigelow to be married to James Cameron. That’s one of the great things about the Golden Globes. Unlike at the Oscars, people are willing to make jokes about James Cameron.

Unlike a lot of people, I found Jodie Foster’s “coming out” speech to be funny and wonderfully human. That said, I wasn’t aware that Jodie Foster was ever in the closet. Seriously, worst kept secret ever.

It was a genuinely exciting and nice moment when Argo was announced as the winner for Best Motion Picture (Drama), defeating the heavily favored Lincoln. While I liked both of those films, there is a definite backlash brewing against the seeming inevitability of Lincoln’s victory.

Finally, Sacha Baron Cohen was pretty annoying but, on the plus side, he did take the time to insult Russell Crowe’s singing. As anyone who has ever watched South Park knows, this means that Crowe is going to jump in his tug boat and head off on a quest for vengeance.

And that’s the way things should be.

What Did Not Work?

A lot of people on twitter were really excited when Bill Clinton came out on stage to introduce the clip for Lincoln. Myself, I hit mute as soon as I saw him. I don’t watch awards shows to see redneck politicians. Add to that, having Bill Clinton introduce Lincoln was yet another example of the nonstop hype that has led to people resenting both Steven Spielberg and his latest film.

The Golden Globes used to be a fun precursor to the actual Oscar nominations so it was hard not to be disappointed that, under this new schedule, the Golden Globes were awarded after the Oscar nominations had been announced.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moment

“I’ll show you some Golden Globes!”

Lessons Learned

None. I was too stubborn last night to learn any lessons.

10 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On TV In 2012

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network. I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference. What’s the Lisa Marie difference? Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. El. Oh. El.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2012 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year:

1) SyFy Movies On Saturday

For me, one of the highlights of 2012 has been meeting and getting to know the Snarkalecs on twitter. Who are the Snarkalecs? We’re just a group of very witty people who are capable of appreciating films like Two-Headed Shark Attack and Arachnoquake. Every Saturday night, we watch and live tweet whatever’s playing on the SyFy network. It’s the perfect way to end the week. My favorite SyFy film of 2012? Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

2) The Basic Lupine Urology episode of Community

A great crime has occurred at Greendale Community College. A yam has been callously destroyed and the study group is going to find out who was responsible and make sure the perpetrator is punished to the full extent of the law. This spot-on perfect parody of Law and Order was one of the highlights of Community’s third season. Donald Glover and Danny Pudi were simply adorable playing good cop/bad cop.

3) Joe Manganiello and Alexander Skarsgard on True Blood

The latest season of True Blood may have been uneven but whenever Alexander Skarsgard or Joe Manganiello showed up on-screen, the show was perfect (especially if they happened to be naked at the time).

4) South Park

As always. This year highlights have included the classic anti-bullying episode and the annual Halloween episode.

5) Survivor: Philippines

The previous season of Survivor was one of the best, featuring truly interesting competitors like Jonathan Penner, Lisa Whelchel, Abi-Marie, and Malcolm. Perhaps best of all, the season ended with the most deserving survivor winning the million bucks.

6) Clint Eastwood’s Chair Speech

A lot of very snide comments have been made about Eastwood’s speech at the Republican National Convention but, personally, I think it was brilliant political theater. Even better, his two main points — that the President is essentially an empty suit and the Vice President is a jackass — are looking more and more true with each passing day.

7) The Joe Biden/Paul Ryan Vice Presidential Debate

Speaking of great political theater…. The 2012 Presidential election was dominated by debates but there’s only one that was truly memorable and it was the Vice Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. While Paul Ryan talked about disaster in his overly serious grad student way, Joe Biden grinned like an aging serial killer deep in the throes of senility. This was less a political debate and more a case of performance art.

8) The London Olympics

I loved watching the London Olympics this year and not just because of the Fab Five, either. The Danny Boyle-directed opening ceremonies were amazing to watch and I had fun going on twitter to ridicule NBC’s hilariously bad coverage of the games.

9) Liz & Dick on Lifetime

Oh, c’mon — it was fun!

10) The Office Made A Comeback…Sorta

After one of the worst seasons in the history of primetime television, The Office has redeemed itself slightly with its current (and final) season. Even Catherine Tate has become tolerable.

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at the past year with a list of my 10 favorite novels of 2012.

What Lisa and Megan Watched Last Night #62: California Dreams S3E3 “Budget Cuts” (dir. by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sister Megan and I continued to bond over episodes of bad sitcoms from the 1990s. Among those episodes was “Budget Cuts,” from the third season of California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

I’ve been spending this holiday week visiting my wonderful sister Megan in Ft. Worth and, for the past few days, we’ve been bonding over the fact that she has almost every single episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class and California Dreams on DVD.

(Personally, SBTB: TNC has a lot of nostalgia value for me but Megan claims that California Dreams was a “thousand times better” than either the original Saved By The Bell or The New Class.)

Last night, we watched several randomly selected episodes of both SBTB: TNC and California Dreams and, out of all of them, “Budget Cuts” is the one that really stood out.

What Was It About?

Much like the “Belding’s Prank” episode of SBTB: TNC, “Budget Cuts” is an episode that seems to take place in a high school that has an absurdly powerful student body. The school also has its very own radio station that broadcasts nonstop over the course of the entire day. I’m not really sure how this would work, since it seems like this would interfere with things like students going to and concentrating in class but maybe that’s just the way things were in California during the mid-90s.

Anyway, sleazy Sly Winkle (played by Michael Cade) is given control of the radio station and he promptly gives shows to all of his friends. Mark (Aaron Jackson) is a bitchy critic in the style of Addison DeWitt. Sam (Jennie Kwan) gives love advice to a caller who, in the opinion of both me and Megan, was just a guy wearing an ugly wig. Lorena (Diana Uribe) has a show that’s all about fashion. (Yay!) And Jake (Jay Anthony Franke) has a show where he tells people to “Shut up and listen!”

Anyway, the school board is making budget cuts and it appears that the radio station is going to be closed down! After being pressured by Jake, Lorena ends up locking herself in the studio and refusing to come out until the school board agrees to hear the student demands.

Somehow, this works and then, fortunately, Jake shows up at the school board meeting and OH MY GOD! JAKE’S WEARING A SUIT! The live studio audience goes crazy at the sight of Jake all dressed up and with good reason. The boy cleans up well.

But will it be enough to save the radio station?

What Worked?

Every teen sitcom has to have at least one episode where the show’s resident rebel makes an appearance wearing a suit as opposed to his leather jacket. This, of course, is because we all know that the most important thing about a rebel is that he should be able to clean up well. In this episode, Jay Anthony Franke cleans up very well.

What Did Not Work?

Four words: “Absurdly powerful student body.” Seriously. Between California Dreams and Saved By The Bell, California appears to be a state where teenagers are given the equivalent of diplomatic immunity.

“OH MY GOD! JUST LIKE US!” Moments

Both Megan and I agreed that we both identified with the character of Lorena, both because of her temper and her sense of fashion.

Though this episode of California Dreams didn’t actually feature the band performing, Megan and I still decided that we should start a band of our own. We’re going to call ourselves the Cleavage Sisters and we’re going to hire David Foster to write aggressively bland songs for us. Megan will sing them while I dance around the stage. It’ll be fun!

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, people don’t like to be told to “shut up and listen.”

What Lisa And Megan Watched Last Night #61: Saved By The Bell: The New Class S2E9 “Belding’s Prank” (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as Christmas came to a close, my sister Megan and I continued to celebrate the holiday week by bonding over yet another episode of a bad (yet oddly addictive) 90s sitcom. Last night, we watched “Belding’s Prank,” an episode from the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Why Were We Watching It?

You can read the full details here but, long story short, I’m spending my holiday week in Ft. Worth with my sister Megan and Megan (because she’s the best) has every episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on DVD. When I learned this, I naturally became super excited because, when I was too young to know any better, I used to watch SBTB: TNC every Saturday morning. Anyway, for the past few days, Megan and I have been bonding over bad sitcoms from the 90s.

(For the record, Megan claims that, if she ever saw a single first-run episode of SBTB, it was just because she was waiting for California Dreams to come on.)

Last night, we watched several episodes of SBTB: The New Class but the one that made the biggest impression on me was the 9th episode of the 2nd season, Belding’s Prank.

(Before anyone asks, yes — we both would have rather been watching Django Unchained or Les Miserables but yesterday, it snowed! Needless to say, we were all excited to look out the window and see snow falling on Christmas. We had fun playing in the snow but there was no way that any of us we were planning on trying to drive in it. Seriously, we live in Texas, where 80 degrees is considered to be a cold front. We don’t know the first thing about driving in the snow.)

What Was It About?

SBTB: TNC was infamous for changing its cast of characters almost every season. When I first saw the show, the main character was Ryan (played by the adorable Richard Lee Jackson) but what I didn’t realize was that Ryan was actually the third main character. He was preceded by a guy named Scott and another guy named Brian Keller. Belding’s Prank is a Brian episode. When we first started watching this episode, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to follow the episode because I didn’t know much about Brian (played by Christian Oliver) as a character. However, I quickly discovered that Brian had absolutely the exact same personality as Ryan (and, I assume, Scott) and therefore, it really didn’t matter.

Anyway, in Belding’s Plot, it’s prank week at Bayside! Brian is encouraging everyone to engage in increasingly elaborate pranks. Bayside’s principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins), thinks that it’s all a lot of fun. However, Belding’s assistant, Screech (Dustin Diamond) is concerned because there’s a new district superintendent and he could drop by the school at any minute. It appears that Mr. Belding has yet to meet (or even see) the new superintendent (which is kinda odd when you think about it) and when the superintendent does show up, Belding assumes that it’s a prank. The superintendent, meanwhile, sees that Bayside is in chaos and he promptly fires Mr. Belding.

This is where things get weird. The superintendent holds a school assembly to introduce the new principal. Since this is Saved By The Bell, there’s only about 20 students at the assembly. Anyway, before the superintendent can announce the new principal, Brian stands up and shouts, “We don’t want a new principal! We want Mr. Belding back!” Now, instead of suspending Brian for disrupting a school assembly, the superintendent replies that the students should have respected their principal if they liked him so much.

“Here’s your new principal,” the superintendent announces, “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Mr. Belding steps out on stage. The 20 students at the assembly go wild. So, was Mr. Belding really fired or was he just playing a prank on the students? Or did Brian’s words sway the superintendent?

Seriously, what the Hell’s going on?

What Worked?

Say what you will about this episode overall, it’s here that Dennis Haskins gave perhaps his best performance in the role of Mr. Belding. When Belding came out of his office and told the assembled student, “I’ve been fired,” you truly felt both the man’s pain and the disappointment he felt towards the entitled students who had just ruined his life. I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure that Haskins even had tears in his eyes as he delivered the line.

What Did Not Work?

Okay, let’s ignore the obvious flaws. I won’t go into the odd logic of the film’s plot. I won’t mention the fact that the student body at Bayside High appears to be abnormally powerful and influential for a bunch of public school students. I won’t even talk about the fact that Dustin Diamond is in this episode.

However, I am going to point out one of the most glaring continuity flaws in the history of this show.

As you may remember, in the original Saved By The Bell, Belding’s office was this tiny and depressing room with ugly wood paneling and a window that was never opened. Starting with the second season of The New Class, Belding got a new cheerful office. This office was much larger, much more colorful, and it had large windows that showed off the green campus of Bayside High. A good deal of this episode took place in Belding’s “new” office and, watching it, I couldn’t help but think about how much more cheerful Belding seemed to be now that his office was less oppressive.

However, if you’ll remember, there was a flash forward episode of the original Saved By The Bell that took place in 2003. This was the episode where a bunch of students gathered in the principal’s office so that they could watch a video time capsule left behind for them by Zach, Slater, and Screech. In this episode, it’s established that Mr. Belding is still principal of Bayside in 2003…

AND HE’S BACK IN HIS OLD OFFICE!

But that’s not all! When SBTB: TNC ended in 2000 (3 years before the time capsule episode), it was established that Belding was leaving Bayside so that he could take a job as dean of a college in Tennessee. It was also suggested that Screech (despite never having graduated from college) would be his replacement as principal…

So, what happened during those 3 years that led to Belding returning to Bayside and moving back into his old office? And why did Belding pretend like he barely remembered Screech while watching that time capsule video?

Seriously, this was really bugging me last night. Fortunately, it turned out that it was really bugging Megan as well. We spent about half an hour trying to figure out what had happened and we came up several possible scenarios, all of which concluded with Belding returning to California and murdering Screech in one grisly way or another.

Seriously, we had a lot of fun with it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

None. Everyone in this episode was just too stupid.

Lessons Learned

It’s fun to come up with grisly ways to kill off an annoying character.

12 Random Things That I Am Thankful For In 2012

Posted on November 22, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So many things to be thankful for!

Today is the day that I (and perhaps a few others) look over the past year and ask myself, “What am I thankful for?” I am happy to say that I have a lot to be thankful for right now. I’m thankful for my family, for my friends, for my readers, and for my love.

Believe it or not, I’m even thankful that I’m now 27 years old! When my family gathered together earlier today, I actually got to hang out with the grown ups! Seriously, being an adult was a lot more fun than I was expecting.

Traditionally, Thanksgiving is also the day when I do a post entitled “10 Things That I Am Thankful For.” So, here we go. As I stated previously, I’m thankful for a lot of things in 2012. Here, in no specific order, is twelve of them:

1) I’m thankful that The Cabin In The Woods and Sinister reminded me of why I love horror films in the first place.

2) I’m thankful for the Snarkalecs on twitter, the best group of people that a girl could hope to watch a SyFy movie with.

3) I’m thankful that this current season of Survivor is one of the best yet.

4) I’m thankful that someday, when I do have a daughter, I’ll be able to watch films like Brave and The Hunger Games with her.

5) I’m thankful that Richard Linklater directed Bernie and let the true citizens of Texas speak for themselves.

6) I’m thankful that Sarah Polley wrote and directed Take This Waltz.

7) I’m thankful for the TCMParty on twitter, the best group of people that a girl could hope to watch a classic film on TCM with.

8) I’m thankful that the final season of The Office is turning out to be a good one.

9) I’m thankful that Skyfall reminded us of why we all love James Bond in the first place.

10) I’m thankful that Branded eventually ended. Seriously, I was worried that film was never going to come to a close.

11) I’m thankful that The Avengers turned out to be a lot more fun than even I was expecting.

12) I’m thankful that even a generally disappointing film year can still see the release of films like Life of Pi and The Master.

What do you think, Trailer Kitties?

Don’t worry, kitties! Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers will return next week!

Happy Thanksgiving!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #55 (Horror Edition): South Park S16E12 — A Nightmare On Face Time

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, like all good people, I turned over to Comedy and I caught the annual South Park Halloween episode.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was South Park, of course!

What Was It About?

It’s Halloween in South Park and Randy Marsh has just spent $10,000 to buy the deserted Blockbuster Video Store. Randy drags his family down to their new store and puts them to work, sorting films left over from the late 90s and the early 21st Century. Despite getting absolutely no costumers (and the fact that the theme from Kubrick’s The Shining keeps playing in the background), Randy remains convinced that DVD rental remains the way of the future. Even though his family doubts him, Randy finds some comfort with the ghosts who live in the Blockbuster and who encourage him to go on a Jack Nicholsonesque rampage.

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman have come up with the perfect plan for Halloween. Each one of them is going to dress up like a member of the Avengers and, as a group, win the town’s costume contest. However, when Stan is forbidden to leave the Blockbuster by an increasingly insane Randy, Kyle is forced to use Face Time on his and Stan’s Ipads so that Stan can literally be in two places at once. Cartman, meanwhile, has to deal with the fact that everyone in town thinks that he’s wearing a green Honey Boo Boo costume.

While out trick or treating, the boys come across a group of criminals who are robbing Redbox kiosks. The criminals, already frustrated by the fact that nobody uses Redbox anymore, end up kidnapping Kyle’s Ipad and make plans to capture the rest of the kids at the South Park Monster Mash (which we are assured is a “graveyard smash.”)

What Worked?

Was this the best Halloween episode of South Park ever? Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far but it was definitely one of the best. From the minute that the familiar and ominous music from The Shining started up, I knew that I was going to love this episode.

Among my many favorite moments of this episode:

Randy watching Ted.

The cops talking about how the monster mash is a graveyard smash.

“I’m not Bruce Vilanch!”

“Kids, come look at the green Honey Boo Boo…”

What Did Not Work:

The episode itself was about as close to perfect as one could hope for. Despite this, the hispster Toadsuckers at the A.V. Club still gave it a mixed review. Perhaps if the episode had featured a reference or two to Arrested Development, the A.V. Club folks would have been kinder to it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Unfortunately, nobody dressed up as The Black Widow for Halloween, which essentially prevented the entire episode from being a “OH MY GOD! Just like me!” moment.

I was 12 years old when my family first moved back to Dallas and there was a Blockbuster Video located just a few blocks from our apartment. A few months later, we moved to a house in the suburbs and, while it was quite different from living in an apartment in the ghetto, one thing remained the same — we still lived near a Blockbuster. Seriously, it was so much fun going down there and looking at all the movies that were available and I can still remember how heated the discussions used to get between me and my sister Erin as we debated which R-rated movie we should try to talk our mom into renting for us.

(“Oh, mom,” I’d say, “they rate everything R nowadays, it doesn’t mean anything…”)

Perhaps that’s why, even in this time of Netflix and Hulu and streaming movies online and all the rest, I still love the idea of owning actual DVDs, Blu-rays, and even the occasional VHS tape.

I recently had a chance to drive by one of those old Blockbuster stores. It’s a dollar store now and, while it sells a lot of stuff, there’s not a movie to be found. Boo hoo.

(Seriously, it was kinda depressing.)

Lessons Learned:

Things change.

The Name’s Bond, Jimmy Bond: Casino Royale (1954)

Posted on October 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! On November 9th (which just happens to be my birthday, by the way), the latest James Bond film will opening here in the States. The early reviews of Skyfall have been nothing sort of amazing, with several critics declaring it to be the best Bond film ever. Well, time will tell. The fact of the matter is that many of those same critics said the exact same thing about Quantum of Solace before it was actually released.

That said, the James Bond franchise seems to be one of the few things that everyone on this planet has in common. It seems that everyone has seen (and loved) at least one Bond film. There’s a reason why Skyfall is going to be the number one film in the world despite having a totally generic title. For over 50 years, people have loved Bond.

Here at the Shattered Lens, we’re observing the 50th anniversary of the James Bond franchise by reviewing every single James Bond film that’s ever been made. In the days leading up to the American release of Skyfall, we’ll be taking a look at every single adventure that the cinematic James Bond has had. Everything from the good to the bad to the ugly.

Everyone knows that Sean Connery made his debut of James Bond in 1962’s Dr. No but what they may not know is that Sean Connery was not the first actor to play James Bond. James Bond made his first appearance 8 years earlier when an American television show called Climax! presented a 48-minute adaptation of Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel, Casino Royale.

In this version of Climax!, James Bond was known as Jimmy Bond and he was about as American as you can get. (Felix Leiter, meanwhile, was now English and named Clarence Leiter). Jimmy Bond was played by Barry Nelson, an actor who is probably best known for playing the blandly friendly hotel manager in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Casino Royale’s villain, Le Chiffre, was played by none other than Peter Lorre.

This version of Casino Royale was initially meant to serve as a pilot for a weekly television series but, perhaps fortunately, the Climax version of Casino Royale didn’t get much attention when it was originally aired. According to Sinclair McKay’s authoritative Bond book, The Man With The Golden Touch, this version of Casino Royale was forgotten about until a copy of it was discovered in the 1980s. By that time, of course, everyone knew that James Bond was English and that Felix Leiter was American.

Thanks to YouTube, I’ve seen the Climax! Casino Royale and it’s a curiosity. If Dr. No hadn’t launched the James Bond film franchise, there would be little reason to watch this version of Casino Royale. It moves a bit slowly, is way too stagey, and it reveals that, contrary to what we’ve all heard, live television was not always the greatest thing on the planet. Not surprisingly, this adaptation contains none of the brutality or the moral ambiguity that makes Fleming’s novel such a fun read. American television audiences would not see Jimmy Bond strapped naked to a chair and an American television show would never end with the hero saying, “The bitch is dead.” The best you can say about this version of Casino Royale is that Peter Lorre makes for a good villain (in fact, of the three versions of Casino Royale, the television version is the only one to feature an effective Le Chiffre) and Barry Nelson would have made a good Felix Leiter.

That said, I still find the television version of Casino Royale to be fascinating from a historical point of view. This is the type of show that you watch for curiosity value. This is the type of show that you watch so that you can think about how different things could have been.

So, presented for your viewing pleasure, here’s the original version of Casino Royale:

Coming tomorrow: The James Bond film franchise gets off to its proper start with … Dr. No!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #52: Boy Meets World S5E17 “And Then There Was Shawn” (dir by Jeff McCracken)

Posted on October 13, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched the infamous “And Then There Was Shawn” episode of the old ABC sitcom Boy Meets World.

Why Were We Watching It?

We were watching it because it’s October and we both had Halloween on the mind. Of course, according to the Boy Meets World wikia — and yes, I am as shocked as you to discover that such a thing exists — this episode actually originally aired on February 27th, 1998 so, technically, it was more of a belated Valentine’s Day episode than a Halloween episode. But anyone who has ever sat through And Then There Was Shawn knows that this was so totally a Halloween episode, even if it did air in February.

What Was It About?

And Then There Was Shawn pretty much starts out the exact same way as every single episode of Boy Meets World: Obsessive-stalker Cory (Ben Savage) and frigid, self-righteous Topanga (Danielle Fishel) are having issues and the entire world is just so concerned about whether or not they’ll be able to get back together so that they can eventually get married at the age of 18. Cory’s friend Shawn (played by the very adorable Rider Strong) manages to stop talking about living in the trailer park long enough to disrupt Mr. Feeney’s history class. Rather then questioning why his entire life seems to revolve around a bunch of 16 year-olds, Mr. Feeney (William Daniels) responds by giving everyone detention.

So, Topanga, Cory, and Shawn are all in Mr. Feeney’s after-school detention, along with Shawn’s boring girlfriend Angela and a random student named Kenny. (It took me a while to recognize that Kenny was being played by Richard Lee Jackson, who I remembered from Saved By The Bell: The New Class.) Since this is Boy Meets World, everyone is using their time in detention to discuss Cory and Topanga’s creepy relationship when suddenly “No one gets out of here alive” appears on the chalkboard, written in blood.

And from that moment on, it goes from being a standard episode of Boy Meets World to transforming into being perhaps one of the weirdest episodes ever to show up in a family sitcom.

Soon, Kenny’s dead as the result of someone jamming a pencil into his head, Mr. Feeney’s dead with a pair of scissors in his back, there’s a creepy janitor stalking the hallways, and Cory’s cute older brother Eric (Will Friedle) shows up, along with Jennifer Love Hewitt. By the end of the episode, almost the entire cast has been killed and, of course, it turns out that it’s all because the entire world revolves around Cory and Topanga…

What Worked?

Over the course of the episode, just about every character on the show is killed off. Considering just how annoying most of the characters on Boy Meets World could be, it’s hard not to appreciate this episode’s determination to kill all of them off.

The episode, itself, is actually pretty well-written and clever. Unlike a lot of sitcom Halloween episodes, And Then There Was Shawn actually feels like a legitimate (and respectful) homage to the great horror films of the past.

What Did Not Work?

I’ve often wondered if the audiences in the 20th Century found the character of Cory Matthews to be as creepy as I find him to be in the 21st. Seriously, whenever I see Boy Meets World, I’m struck by the fact that Cory basically spends every episode telling everyone that 1) they’ll never love anyone as much as he loves Topanga, 2) that Topanga’s belonged to him her entire life, and 3) that everyone in the world has an obligation to think about him and Topanga before they do or say anything. In addition to that, you have to consider his oddly co-dependent relationship with Shawn, the fact that he looks nothing like anyone else in his family, and the fact that whenever he and Topanga have a fight, he yells, “NO! We’re not supposed to ever disagree because I love you Topanga and … YOU LOVE ME!” Seriously, what a creep! Fortunately, Corey is less of a jerk than usual in this episode but, all things considered, it’s still hard to root for that little psycho.

Finally, what was up with the Boy Meets World theme song? I mean, it’s awful but it certainly does get stuck in your head.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

To be honest, I find almost all of the regular characters on Boy Meets World to be so annoying that I’m almost tempted to say that there wasn’t a single “Just like me!” moment in this episode. However, I do have to admit that — much like Jennifer Love Hewitt in this episode — I probably would have found time to make out with Eric as well. Seriously, he was soooooooooo cute!

Lessons Learned

Sitcom love = creepy love.

Scenes That I Love: Confuse-A-Cat

Posted on September 28, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Being on vacation, I can’t help but worry about how Doc is doing. For those of you who may not know, Doc is the black cat who owns me and Erin. Along with being adorable, cute, and lovable, Doc is also the world’s leading expert in the field of feline ennui. When he meows, he simply says, “Meh,” and it’s not unusual for me to come home and discover that he’s wearing a red beret and chewing on a cigarette holder.

Naturally, it’s hard for me not to worry that he may be stuck in a rut without me being there and I can only hope that, if he is, Erin will take a lesson from today’s scene that I love. From Monty Python’s Flying Circus, here comes Confuse-A-Cat.