Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the kids learn yet another lesson about conflict resolution.

Episode 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on February 18th, 1989)

After Ms. Palladino (Joan Ryan) is kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend, she temporarily moves in with Miss Bliss.  It doesn’t go well.  Ms. Palladino is messy and quirky and accident-prone.  Miss Bliss is British.  Can these two friends figure out how to live together?

Meanwhile, Nikki and Zach have been assigned to work on a class project but they’re suddenly not getting along.  They have to convince Miss Bliss that the telephone is a worthwhile invention.  (Miss Bliss plays the role of a skeptical pilgrim.)  Nikki wants to use a bunch of charts to make her point.  Zach pretends to call Nikki on the phone and apologizes to her for not being a good friend.  It’s extremely awkward to watch, despite the fact that Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Heather Hopper both pour their hearts into the scene.  Actually, maybe that’s why it’s so awkward to watch.  Imagine being a student, trapped in that classroom and forced to listen to Zach and Nikki work out their differences.  Miss Bliss give them an A and decides to stop being such a bitch to Ms. Palladino.  Good for her!

This episode probably would have been more effective if we hadn’t already been subjected to an episode where Mickey and Zach get into a disagreement and then talk about their friendship while the entire school watches.  This episode felt like a do-over.  I also found it curious that all the students apparently knew that Miss Bliss and Ms. Palladino were living together and not getting along.  First off, why would the students know this and secondly, why would the students cares?

I’m starting to think that Good Morning Miss Bliss was not a realistic portrayal of the Indiana middle school experience.

Retro Television Review: The American Short Story #15: The Sky Is Gray


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, Lisa will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, we have an adaptation of a 1963 short story.

Episode #15: The Sky Is Gray

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired in 1980)

This adaptation of an Ernest Gaines short story takes place in Louisiana during the 1940s.  James (James Bond III) is a young black child who lives on a farm.  His father is overseas, serving in the Army during World War II.  His mother (Olivia Cole) is a stern but loving woman who is trying to raise the sensitive James in a world where one often has to depend on their inner strength to survive.  When James comes down with a toothache, he and his mother travel to a nearby town so he can see the dentist.  From having to stand in the back of the bus to listening to a debate between a priest and a militant in the dentist’s office, it’s an eye-opening journey for James.  When the white receptionist at the dentist’s office arbitrarily cancels James’s appointment and tells him and his mother to come back tomorrow, the two of them seek shelter.  James discovers how strong his mother is when they’re harassed by a pimp (Reuben Collins).  He also learns that there is unexpected kindness in the world when a white store owner invites him and his mother inside to give them shelter from the cold and windy day.  During one trip to the dentist, James learns that the world is far more complicated than he originally knew.

This was an okay adaptation of Gaines’s acclaimed short story.  Young James Bond III gave a good performance as James and the episode was full of scenes that visually captured the feel of being an outsider.  That said, as was often the case with this series, the adaptation was so straight-forward that it didn’t really capture the nuance of Gaines’s writing.  In the short story, Gaines put the reader right into James’s head.  The adaptation doesn’t really do that.  A heavy-handed musical score doesn’t help matters but, with all that in mind, this was still an effective coming-of-age tale.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.15 “Attack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, the identity of the Ski Mask Rapist is revealed.

Episode 2.15 “Attack”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 22nd, 1984)

The Ski Mask Rapist is continuing to attack.  Off-screen, a pharmacist is assaulted while trying to catch her train.  In the hospital, a candy striper gets lost in the cavernous building and is attacked in a storage room.  When Shirley Daniels enters the storage room, she’s startled by a man wearing a pest control outfit.  She sprays him with her mace but is later told that the police do not believe that he was the rapist.  Instead, he was just a man trying to steal drugs.  When Fiscus tries to put together a list of men who will walk the women to their cars, Dr. Cavanero tells him that one of the men on his list could very well be the rapist.

Amongst themselves, the women who work at St. Eligius debate what they would do if they are attacked.  Shirley carries her mace.  Wendy says that she would use her keys as a weapon.  Jacqueline Wade says that women who don’t struggle and just submit have a better chance of surviving.  Dr. Cavanero dumps her insensitive boyfriend after he offers up a half-hearted, insincere apology for trying to force himself on her during the previous episode.  The head of the hospital’s security gives a lecture and makes the women feel like the attacks are somehow their fault.  “There’s no need to get hysterical,” he says.

(Myself, I carry mace.  I’m always scared that I’ll accidentally spray myself in the face with it but still, I carry it.)

Kathy Martin turns down the offer of a rape whistle, saying that carrying it would give her the aura of a victim.  As the episode ends, she’s attacked in the morgue.  She manages to push up the ski mask, revealing the face of …. Peter White.

It’s not really a surprise that Peter turned out to be the rapist.  I suspected it was him last week.  Rape may be classified as a sex crime but ultimately, it’s about power.  The weakest men are rapists and there’s no man on this show who is weaker than Peter White.  Before Peter attacks Kathy, we see him with a prostitute who tells him that it’s okay that he couldn’t get it up.  Peter mentions that it’s his anniversary.  Peter is weak and, looking back at the the moment he first appeared during the first season (begging Dr. Morrison to cover for him), it’s obvious that the series has been building up to the moment that he loses control.

There were other things that happened during this episode.  Geraldine Fitzgerald played a patient who Auschlander dated in his younger days.  (Now, she’s a drug addict.)  Victor and Roberta returned from their honeymoon, Victor with a painful sunburn and Roberta with a host of problems that she accidentally broadcast to the entire hospital while talking to her friend in the front office.  (You have to make sure the PA is turned off before talking about your sex life, folks.)  There was a humorous scene in which Dr. Ridley got into an argument with Roberta’s psychiatrist (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Morrison tried to figure out why his latest patient (Dan Hedaya) was suffering from sudden bouts of blindness.

In the end, though, this was a grim episode and not always an easy one for me to watch.  Honestly, if I had been a nurse or a doctor at that hospital, I would have walked as soon as it became apparent that the Ski Mask Rapist was someone inside the building.  I would have gone home and refused to come back until they caught the guy.

Kathy saw Peter’s face as he attacked her.  I fear what’s waiting for me on next week’s episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark is abandoned in the park.

Episode 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 6th, 1988)

It’s time for Jonathan and Mark to start a new assignment!  This week, Jonathan gets to be a teacher (again!) and Mark gets to be …. homeless.

Seriously, Mark is dropped off in the park and told to live there.  Eventually, Jonathan shows up and gives Mark a tent and some cooking supplies.  That was nice of him but still, you have to wonder why Mark always seems to get assignments that are designed to aggravate him.  “Thanks for giving up your independence to work with my angel,” the show’s version of God seems to be saying, “Now, here …. go live in the park.”

Also living in the park are four brothers whose mother has recently died.  They’re living in a van and are trying to not get sent to foster care.  Fortunately, there’s a teacher at Jonathan’s new school who regrets that she never had a family.  Guess who is going to end up adopting four kids!

This was pretty much the epitome of Highway to Heaven, sweet-natured, sentimental, shamelessly manipulative, and so earnest that it worked even when it shouldn’t have.  That said, I hope Jonathan will put a good word in for Mark.  The guy deserves at least one easy week!

MAN WITH A CAMERA (TV Series) – starring Charles Bronson – S1, E6: Double Negative


In this episode, freelance photographer Mike Kovac (Charles Bronson) receives a tip from reporter Mike Costigan (Frank Faylen) about a mysterious woman. Acting on the lead, Mike snaps a photograph of the woman, only to discover that she bears a striking resemblance to Helen Sprague (Tracey Roberts), a lady who was reportedly murdered by night club owner Howard Dorn (Don Durant). When she shows back up alive, the D.A. will have to drop the charges on Dorn, right? Well it’s not that easy as a punch-drunk ex-fighter Pete Montee (Karl Lukas) shows up at Mike’s house and insists that the woman in the photo is his girlfriend Connie Sawyer. It turns out that Costigan and Dorn are trying to cash in on Kovac’s honest reputation to get away with murder. When Mike gets wise to their plan, he becomes their next target for death!!

This episode of MAN WITH A CAMERA was directed by Gerald Mayer, who would direct 11 episodes of the series. It’s a solid “film noir” episode, with Bronson’s Mike Kovac getting caught up in a murder plot involving double-crossing bad guys, a duplicitous dame, and a dumb lug, where he’ll be lucky if he comes out alive. Of course, a young Bronson is the biggest draw in every episode of MAN WITH A CAMERA. Along with his magnetic screen presence, Bronson always knew how to throw a punch and he gets to engage in a couple of nice fisticuff sequences in “Double Negative.” It makes for good balance as his camera gets him into hot water at the beginning and his fists get him out of hot water at the end. I also want to throw some love Karl Lukas’ way as the ex-fighter, Pete Mantee. He’s clearly not the sharpest tool in the toolshed, but his performance is the most enjoyable of the series, outside of Bronson, up to this point. His combination of innocent, dumb, and unbelievably strong is a lot of fun. 

Overall, “Double Negative” is one of the best episodes of MAN WITH A CAMERA so far. Bronson is at his best and I really like the film-noir feel. If you haven’t watched on episode on Amazon Prime yet, this would not be a bad place to start! 

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.3 “The Phoner”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey help to stop an obscene phone caller.

Episode 1.3 “The Phoner”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 28th, 1957)

Betty Hodges (Pat Englund) has been getting obscene phone calls.  It’s the 1950s.  That means there’s no caller ID, there’s no cell towers to ping signals off of, there’s no way to block a number, the phone rings until its answered, and every call is made and taken on a landline phone.  This is the era when most calls were still connected by an operator.  Terrified of the calls but determined not to be chased out of the city like so many other young women who have targeted by the so-called Phoner, Betty calls the police.  Casey (Beverly Garland) moves in with Betty, pretending to be her sister.  When the phone rings, it’s Casey who will answer and it’s Casey who will have to keep the guy talking for five minutes while the phone company traces the call.

We don’t ever learn the name of the man making the calls.  In the credits, he’s listed as the Phoner.  Played by Frank Sutton, the Phoner is a sweaty man who makes his calls from a phone booth and who brags about how many girlfriends he claims to have  had.  (He’s the 50s version of an incel.)  We’re told that he says disturbingly obscene things over the phone but, this being a 50s show, we don’t hear any of them.  Of course, we don’t have to hear them.  Betty’s terrified reactions are all we need to see.

Eventually, Betty is attacked leaving work.  She stumbles out of an alley, her face beaten and her clothes torn.  And again, it’s the 50s.  So all we hear is that Betty has been attacked but anyone watching would understand what had happened.  In the hospital, Betty whispers to Casey.  When Casey is asked what Betty said, Casey replies, “She wishes she was dead.”

Eventually, the Phoner calls Casey back.  They set up a date in the park.  The Phoner doesn’t show up at the park but he does show up at the apartment later.  After a struggle, he’s subdued by Casey and the other cops watching the apartment.  Even though common sense tells the viewer that nothing too bad is going to happen to the show’s lead character, it’s still a tense scene, largely because of Frank Sutton’s feral performance as the Phoner.

This is a poignant episode, even if it did obviously have to hold back due to the censorship rules of the time.  Just as frightening as Sutton was as the Phoner, Garland was equally impressive as the determined Casey.  If I did have any problem with this episode, it’s that when she’s initially confronted by the Phoner, Casey doesn’t recognize his voice.  When a man threatens you, you never forget the voice.

This was a good episode.  Hopefully, the Phoner died in prison.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Larry can’t read!

Episode 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 20th, 1985)

Larry, a veteran wide receiver on the Bulls, is informed that this will be his final season.  He’s played ten years and he’s given his heart to the game.  With his reputation for pulling pranks, he’s a popular guy in the locker room.  But, the time has come for Larry to move on.  Diane arranges for Larry to have a job interview with a PR firm.  Larry doesn’t show up for the interview.

“I can’t read!” Larry says when Diane confronts him.

“You’re a college graduate!” Diane exclaimed.

“I majored in football!” Larry replies.

What a sad story!  That said, it’s one that seems to happen a lot in real life.  As long as the plays are being made on the field, many colleges don’t worry about whether or not their players are graduating with the skills to earn a living once they stop playing.  Of course, as far as this show is concerned, the story would have been even sadder if we had ever seen or heard about Larry before this episode.  Seriously, Larry pops up out of nowhere and the viewer is just expected to act as if he’s been there the entire time.

At the end of the episode, Larry catches a game-winning pass and ensures the Bulls will be going to the playoffs.  Yay!  Larry also reveals to Diane that he’s enrolled in a course to learn how to read.  Yay again!  “Some of the guys in there are even older than me,” Larry says.

Meanwhile, the Arcola brothers are threatening to kill Roger again.  Roger has been pimping out two of the cheerleaders to members of the Arcola Crime Family.  Ruta fires one of the cheerleader and the other decides that she no longer wants to be treated like a prostitute.  Good for her!  Again, this is a storyline that would have been very effective if not for the fact that we’ve never seen these cheerleaders before.  One gets the feeling that the main cast wanted a week off so production came up with a collection of new characters to center the show around.

Next week — who knows?  I assume some football will be played.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romnace”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

As usual, this episode has three stories.  However, this week, only one of the stories really works.

Dr. Elliott Norton (James Noble) attended medical school with Doc.  He is a world-renowned surgeon who has written a best-selling book and, as soon as he boards the boat, ol’ Doc Bricker starts to feel insecure.  It’s easy to see why.  Dr. Norton performs life-saving surgery on a daily basis.  Doc Bricker helps people recover from severe sun tan.  The fact that everyone on board wants Norton’s autograph doesn’t help.  Vicki is supposed to be writing a report on Doc but even Doc is like, “You should probably do it on Elliott.”

However, when a little girl (played by Tori Spelling, in what must have been one of the first roles that Aaron Spelling demanded she be cast in) asks Doc to diagnose what’s wrong with her doll, Bricker quickly figures out that both the doll and the girl are depressed because they’re not spending enough time with their father.  Norton may be getting the groupies but Doc Bricker gets invited to a tea party with the girl, her father, and the doll.

I’m sorry, are you smirking?

Okay, it is pretty silly.  Normally, I would smirk too but you know what?  Bernie Kopell really makes this story work.  In many ways, Doctor Adam Bricker was a bit of silly character, a supposed swinger who always came across as being rather mild-mannered and kind of conservative.  But Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it didn’t matter that the character often didn’t make much sense.  In this episode, Kopell does such a good job of playing up the character’s insecurities and regrets that my heart actually broke for the poor guy.  Was the tea party silly?  Yes.  But I still cheered when he was invited.

As for the other two stories, one featured Raymond St. Jacques and Theresa Merritt playing an elderly couple who were living together without being married.  Their children (played Brian Stokes Mitchell and Thelma Hopkins) were scandalized!  It was pretty boring.  The children weren’t particularly likable so I was kind of hoping the parents would just toss them overboard.

The final story …. I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say it was dumb.  Ross (Alan Young) wants to impress Kathy (Holland Taylor) and keep her from running off with Bob (Adam West, who was severely underused).  So, Ross builds a fake bomb, hides it in the engine room, pretends to discover it, and then defuses it while Kathy watches.  I mean, how am I supposed to care about someone who would do something that stupid?  And then, when Ross confesses the truth to her, Kathy laughs it off and forgives him.  I mean, it seems like he’s an obvious sociopath to me.  Run, Kathy, run!

This was an uneven episode but seriously, the story with Doc Bricker got to me.  This show was very lucky to have Bernie Kopell.

Scenes That I Love: The Alien Arrives in Robert Wise’s The Day The Earth Stood Still


On this date, 111 years ago, filmmaker Robert Wise was born in Winchester, Indiana.  He started his career as an editor (and was Oscar-nominated for his work on Citizen Kane) and then eventually branched out into directing.  From the mid-forties to the year 2000, Wise directed every genre of film.  He won two Oscars for Best Director, one for West Side Story and one for The Sound of Music.  He was also the first director to helm a Stark Trek film with 1979’s Stark Trek — The Motion Picture.

Today’s scene that I love comes from Wise’s 1951 masterpiece, The Day The Earth Stood Still.  In this scene, America watched as a UFO darts across the sky and eventually lands in Washington D.C.  Though it’s a simple scene, it deftly captures the wonder of the moment.