October Hacks: L.A. Slasher (dir by Martin Owen)


In 2016’s L.A. Slasher, an androgynous killer wearing a white suit and a mask decides that reality stars are the worst people in the world so he starts kidnapping them and torturing them and live-streaming their murders.  Even worse, he talks to them and talks to us about how he feels about them.  I say “even worse” because the voice of the Slasher is provided by Andy Dick.  Andy Dick’s nasal voice is even more whiny than usual in this film and it left me wondering what if perhaps death would preferable to listening to Dick speak.

L.A. Slasher is meant to be a satire and I will give it some credit.  It hits its targets and there’s even some bite to the scenes in which people on social media start talking about how much they love the slasher.  In many ways, this film predicted the Cult of Luigi.  Unfortunately, the film itself is so overdirected and cartoonishly-staged that it’s never quite as effective as it wants to be.  It’s essentially a live action cartoon and a fairly exhausting one of that.  The flashing lights, the constantly prowling camera, the jump cuts, the neon, it’s meant to be overwhelming but instead it’s just annoying.

There are a lot of familiar faces in the cast.  Dave Bautista and Danny Trejo shows up as drug dealers.  Mischa Barton is the Actress.  Drake Bell is the Popstar.  Brooke Hogan is the Reality Star.  And, of course, Eric Roberts shows up very briefly as The Mayor.  Personally, I think the film would have worked better if Andy Dick had played the Mayor and if Roberts had been the voice of the Slasher.  Roberts has a much better voice and, with Dick playing the Mayor, it would be easy to just leave his scenes on the cutting room floor.

In the end, I think the main problem is that L.A. Slasher is a film from 2016 that acts as if it’s the first film to ever criticize reality television and the people who populate it.  Even in 2016, that argument was hardly new or original.  It certainly didn’t need to be made in the voice of Andy Dick.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. Mercy Streets (2000)
  18. Raptor (2001)
  19. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  20. Strange Frequency (2001)
  21. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  22. Border Blues (2004)
  23. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  24. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  25. We Belong Together (2005)
  26. Hey You (2006)
  27. Depth Charge (2008)
  28. Amazing Racer (2009)
  29. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  30. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  31. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  32. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  33. The Expendables (2010) 
  34. Sharktopus (2010)
  35. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  36. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  37. Deadline (2012)
  38. The Mark (2012)
  39. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  40. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  41. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  42. Lovelace (2013)
  43. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  44. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  45. Self-Storage (2013)
  46. Sink Hole (2013)
  47. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  48. This Is Our Time (2013)
  49. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  50. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  51. Inherent Vice (2014)
  52. Road to the Open (2014)
  53. Rumors of War (2014)
  54. Amityville Death House (2015)
  55. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  56. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  57. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  58. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  59. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  60. Enemy Within (2016)
  61. Hunting Season (2016)
  62. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  63. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  64. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  65. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  66. Dark Image (2017)
  67. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  68. Black Wake (2018)
  69. Frank and Ava (2018)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  71. Clinton Island (2019)
  72. Monster Island (2019)
  73. The Reliant (2019)
  74. The Savant (2019)
  75. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  76. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  77. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  78. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  79. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  80. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  81. Top Gunner (2020)
  82. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  83. The Elevator (2021)
  84. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  85. Killer Advice (2021)
  86. Megaboa (2021)
  87. Night Night (2021)
  88. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  89. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  90. Red Prophecies (2021)
  91. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  92. Bleach (2022)
  93. Dawn (2022)
  94. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  95. 69 Parts (2022)
  96. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  97. D.C. Down (2023)
  98. Aftermath (2024)
  99. Bad Substitute (2024)
  100. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  101. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  102. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  103. Broken Church (2025)
  104. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

On-Stage With The Lens: MacBeth (dir by Phillip Casson and Trevor Nunn)


In 1978, Trevor Nunn staged what would become a legendary production of William Shakespeare’s Macbeth.  The play was produced in a small studio theatre, with the actors working in the round were minimum sets and costuming.  Shifts in location or mood were indicated are by lighting changes.  It was a production that captured both the intensity of the play but also the horror of Shakespeare’s play about ambition, guilt, fate, and multiple murders.  Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were played by Ian McKellen and Judi Dench.

This production was filmed and, in 1979, broadcast on Thames Television in the UK.  Here, for today’s staged horror, is the Trevor Nunn production of MacBeth, starring Ian McKellen and Judi Dench.

 

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Insane Like Me? (dir by Chip Joslin)


After his girlfriend and his brother are killed while throwing a party at the local abandoned insane asylum (every town has one!), veteran Jake Morgan (Britt Bankhead) finds himself tossed into a not-abandoned insane asylum.  Jake swears that everyone was killed by vampires.  The local sheriff (Eric Roberts) swears that Jake is the murderer.  The sheriff also happens to be the father of Jake’s dead girlfriend.

Jump forward a few years and Jake has been released from the asylum.  He returns to the town to take out the vampires.  The sheriff still claims that Jake is crazy but it soon becomes apparent that the sheriff has got a secret or two of his own….

This 2024 movie got off to a good start and it had an effective ending.  I appreciated that Eric Roberts got to do a bit more than he usually does in these type of films.  Sheriff Eric Roberts gets to beat someone up and I nearly cheered, even when I wasn’t supposed to.  Considering the amount of movies that I’ve watched that have just featured Roberts delivering his lines from behind a desk, it was nice to see him moving around and actually playing a character.

Unfortunately, the middle part of the film drags.  When is say drag, I don’t just mean that it moved slowly.  I mean that it was so incredibly boring that I found myself checking the time every few minutes.  We meet a group of teenage victims and let’s just say that some of them were better actors than others.  This is a movie that should have been nonstop vampire mayhem.  Instead, it got bogged down with not-very interesting characters delivering flat dialogue.

One final note: the movie features a doctor named Stoker.  It’s amazing to think that the entire town is full of vampires and yet no one ever points out that oddness of the doctor being named Stoker.  I guess today’s vampires just aren’t that well-read.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. Mercy Streets (2000)
  18. Raptor (2001)
  19. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  20. Strange Frequency (2001)
  21. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  22. Border Blues (2004)
  23. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  24. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  25. We Belong Together (2005)
  26. Hey You (2006)
  27. Depth Charge (2008)
  28. Amazing Racer (2009)
  29. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  30. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  31. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  32. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  33. The Expendables (2010) 
  34. Sharktopus (2010)
  35. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  36. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  37. Deadline (2012)
  38. The Mark (2012)
  39. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  40. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  41. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  42. Lovelace (2013)
  43. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  44. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  45. Self-Storage (2013)
  46. Sink Hole (2013)
  47. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  48. This Is Our Time (2013)
  49. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  50. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  51. Inherent Vice (2014)
  52. Road to the Open (2014)
  53. Rumors of War (2014)
  54. Amityville Death House (2015)
  55. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  56. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  57. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  58. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  59. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  60. Enemy Within (2016)
  61. Hunting Season (2016)
  62. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  63. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  64. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  65. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  66. Dark Image (2017)
  67. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  68. Black Wake (2018)
  69. Frank and Ava (2018)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  71. Clinton Island (2019)
  72. Monster Island (2019)
  73. The Reliant (2019)
  74. The Savant (2019)
  75. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  76. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  77. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  78. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  79. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  80. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  81. Top Gunner (2020)
  82. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  83. The Elevator (2021)
  84. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  85. Killer Advice (2021)
  86. Megaboa (2021)
  87. Night Night (2021)
  88. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  89. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  90. Red Prophecies (2021)
  91. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  92. Bleach (2022)
  93. Dawn (2022)
  94. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  95. 69 Parts (2022)
  96. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  97. D.C. Down (2023)
  98. Aftermath (2024)
  99. Bad Substitute (2024)
  100. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  101. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  102. Broken Church (2025)
  103. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

Made-For-TV Horror: Good Against Evil (dir by Paul Wendkos)


The 1977 made-for-TV movie Good Against Evil opens with a woman giving birth in a hospital.  Her baby daughter is forcefully taken from her and given to her father, the sinister Mr. Rimmin (Richard Lynch).

Two decades later, Jessica Gordon (Elyssa Davalos) has grown up and is working at a boutique in San Francisco.  When her car is rear-ended by a free-spirited, van-driven single guy named Andy Stuart (Dack Rambo), it’s love at first sight.  Jessica and Andy are so caught up in their whirlwind romance that they don’t even notice that there’s a schlubby guy following them everywhere that they go and that strangers are giving them dirty looks.  Someone does not want Jessica and Andy to end up together.

How could anyone object to two young people falling in love, you may ask.  Well, it turns out that Jessica is meant to be a bride of Satan and the plan is for her to eventually give birth to the Antichrist.  Everyone in Jessica’s life works for Mr. Rimmin …. or, at least, everyone but Andy.  Andy suddenly showing up and falling in love with Jessica throws a big old monkey wrench into Rimmin’s carefully crafted scheme.  Mr. Rimmin reacts by sending an army of adorable cats to harass Andy.

This might sound like it has the makings for a good made-for-TV horror film and, in fairness to Good Against Evil, the first 50 minutes or so are pretty well-done.  The movie does a good job of building up and maintaining an atmosphere of paranoia and I enjoyed watching all of the people attempting to discreetly keep an eye on Andy and Jessica whenever they went out.  When Mr. Rimmin finally abducted Jessica and took her back to his mansion, I was prepared to see Andy risk his life to rescue her….

That didn’t happen, though.  Instead, Andy got involved with the case of a little girl who was possessed.  (Again, in all fairness, he got involved because he read a news story about the girl drawing a pentagram while in a coma and he assumed that meant she was a victim of the same cult that abducted Jessica.)  Andy meets the girl’s mother (played by Kim Cattrall) and then helps an exorcist (Dan O’Herlihy) perform an exorcism.  The movie ends with Jessica, still in the clutches of Mr. Rimmin.

Good Against Evil was apparently a pilot for a television series that wasn’t picked up.  I assume the plan was that Andy would have a weekly supernatural adventure while trying to recuse Jessica from Mr. Rimmin.  The idea had some potential.  As always, Richard Lynch is a wonderfully sinister villain.  But the pilot shoots itself in the foot by getting distracted with the whole exorcism storyline.  It’s wonderful to see the great Dan O’Herlihy as a priest but the exorcism storyline really does come out of nowhere and the exorcism scene itself so blatantly copies The Exorcist that they really should have given William Peter Blatty an onscreen credit.  Sadly, because this was a pilot, the movie ends with the main storyline unresolved.  The joke is on us for caring about two people in love.

Good Against Evil is one of those films that can be found in a dozen Mill Creek box sets.  Ultimately, it’s as forgettable as its generic name.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.13 “Ladies Choice/Skin Deep”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 7.13 “Ladies Choice/Skin Deep”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on January 28th, 1984)

The highlight of this week’s episode is Mr. Roarke beating someone up.

The person on the other end of the beating is John McDowell (Lloyd Bochner), who owns a winery on the Island and who, for reasons that aren’t particularly clear, hates Mr. Roarke.  When McDowell discovers that Fancy Summerfield (Kim Lankford), who grew up at the winery when it was owned by her father, is in love with Mr. Roarke, McDowell decides to manipulate her to hurt Roarke.  Fancy, who is upset that Mr. Roarke doesn’t return her romantic feelings, allows herself to fall for McDowell but then realizes that McDowell is a jerk.

A party at McDowell’s mansion leads to a fist fight between Roarke and McDowell.  McDowell starts it but Roarke ends it.  He beats up McDowell with such ease that McDowell surrenders.  Fancy realizes that McDowell is not the man for her and she also realizes that Roarke does care about her, even if he’s not in love with her.  (This episode implies that Roarke does not allow himself to fall in love with mortal women.  It’s understandable when you consider what happened when he got married.)

And let’s give credit where credit is due.  Ricardo Montalban looked good beating up Lloyd Bochner.  Admittedly, it was obvious that the majority of the fight was filmed using stunt doubles but, in those rare occasions where we saw Roarke’s face as he threw a punch, Montalban looked like he knew what he doing.

(Lawrence, needless to say, did not come to Mr. Roarke’s aid during the fight.  In fact, Lawrence was barely in this episode.)

As for the other fantasy, it was pretty stupid.  Joe (Michael Lembeck) comes to the Island with his loudmouth buddy, Vinnie (Fred Travalena).  They are attending a sports expo.  Vinnie is all about hitting on the models but Joe falls for Paula Santino (Donna Pescow), who is pretty but definitely not glamorous.  The main problem with this fantasy was that both Joe and Paula were neurotic quip machines so listening to them have a conversation made me want to rupture my ear drums.  Vinnie, for his part, said some pretty bad things about Paula.  Roarke was too busy beating up John McDowell to do anything about it.

This episode was …. actually, not quite as bad as some of the other season seven episodes that I’ve recently watched.  The second fantasy got old pretty quickly but the first fantasy featured Roarke beating someone up and there’s something to be said for that.  The main problem with this episode is that none of the Island guests were particularly likable but I still appreciated that Roarke was willing to go to all of that trouble for them.

Then again, without Tattoo around, Roarke really doesn’t have any choice but to take on all the trouble himself.  What else is he going to do?  Depend on Lawrence?

Horror Novel Review: Killer On The Road by James Ellroy


First published in 1986 and considerably shorter than the typical James Ellroy novel, Killer On The Road takes the form of the memoirs of Martin Plunkett, a child genius who grew up to be a prolific serial killer.

The book starts with Plunkett already serving a life sentence at Sing Sing.  He’s a killer who is now off the road and his memoirs are less about his plans and more about his own struggle to understand how he became the killer that he became.  There are plenty of possible explanations, going all the way back to his dysfunctional childhood and the trauma of his parent’s divorce.  He may be brilliant but he spends all of his time wishing that he could turn invisible like a comic book character and spy on people in their homes.  He comes to idolize Charles Manson but is disappointed when, while in prison, he meets the actual Manson and discovers that he’s just a rambling loser.  The book is written in Plunkett’s own words and, in typical sociopath fashion, he thinks very highly of himself but careful readers will look between the lines and see someone who is just as confused by what he became as everyone else.  For all of his intelligence and his nonstop speculation about the human condition, Plunkett ultimately seems like an empty vessel.  Plunkett’s years on the road are full of unexpected detours.  A meeting with a cop definitely do not go the way that anyone would probably expect it to go.  Even though the story is narrated Plunkett, people like FBI agent Dusenberg come across as fully developed characters as well.

It’s a disturbing and sad but compulsively readable book.  It may have been written before Ellroy developed his signature style but it stills shows his strengths as a storyteller.  Interestingly enough, Ellroy later stated in My Dark Places that he based Martin Plunkett’s dysfunctional youth on his own, which definitely leaves one happy that James Ellroy discovered writing as an outlet for his emotions.  Unlike Martin Plunkett, James Ellroy went on to become one of the best writers of our current era.

October True Crime: In Broad Daylight (dir by James Steven Sadwith)


On July 10th, 1981, Kenneth Rex McElroy was gunned down in Skidmore, Oklahoma.  He was shot while sitting in his truck.  Over 40 bullets were fired into the truck but only two actually hit McElroy.  His fourth wife, Trena (who Kenneth first met when she was 12 and he was 35), was sitting beside him at the time but was not hit by any bullets.  McElroy was 47 years old when he was gunned down in broad daylight.  There were reportedly 46 witnesses who saw the shooting occurred.  When interrogated by the police, not a single one said that they saw anything.  Quite a few did mention that Ken McElroy had gotten exactly what he deserved.

Ken McElroy was a high dropout, a barely literate career criminal who rustled cattle, burned down houses, raped his fourth wife when she was just 12, and then killed her family’s dogs in order to intimidate them into not pressing charges against him.  He was known as the town bully, a surly man who had 17 children with 6 different women and who would shoot anyone who disagreed with him.  Whenever he was charged with a crime, he would intimidate the witnesses into not testifying against him.  In 1980. he got angry at a store owner after one of his kids was accused of shoplifting candy.  McElroy shot the man and was put on trial for attempted murder.  For once, he was convicted but he was freed on bail while awaiting appeal.  When it become apparent that McElroy would not be going to prison for a while, the citizens of Skidmore….

Well, I should probably chose my words carefully.  The truth of the matter is that no one has even been charged with or convicted of killing Ken McElroy.  It is known that several citizens did have a meeting a few night before McElroy’s death and that they discussed what they could best do to keep McElroy from hurting anyone else.  It’s also knoqn that, a week before he was shot, McElroy walked into the local bar with his rifle and dared anyone who wanted him dead to come get him.  Does that mean that a group of concerned citizens took it upon themselves to dispense vigilante justice?  That’s what Trena always claimed but again, no one was every charged, indicted, or convicted.  The death of Ken McElroy remains officially unsolved.

Perhaps that’s why the names were changed for the 1991 made-for-television movie In Broad Daylight.  Brian Denney may be playing a character named Len Rowan but, for anyone familiar with the case, it’s obvious that he’s playing Ken McElroy just as Marcia Gay Harden is obviously playing Tena McElroy, even if her character is called Adina.  The film doesn’t change the name of the town and it doesn’t change the circumstances that led to McElroy’s death.  W watch as McElroy intimidates the owners of a grocery store (played by Cloris Leachman and John Anderson) and even attempts to bully the local police (represented here by Chris Cooper).  The film features a gun-toting crowd surrounding Len Rowan’s vehicle but it’s shot in such a way that their faces are blurry.

In Broad Daylight was filmed in Texas and it definitely captures both the beauty and the potential danger that comes with living in a rural community.  Everyone in town knows everyone else.  There’s a strong sense of community but, because the community is so small and isolated, it’s easy for a man like Len Rowan to bully the entire town.  Some of the actors lean a bit too hard into their country accents.  (Lord protect us from Yankees trying to sound Southern.)  But the main members of the supporting cast  — Cloris Leachman, John Anderson, Chris Cooper, Marcia Gay Harden — all give convincing performances.  As for Brian Dennehy, he’s absolutely horrifying as the astoundingly cruel Len Rowan.  Dennehy plays Len as being a man who might not exactly intelligent (the real Ken McElroy dropped out of school early) but who is positively brilliant at intimidating people.  Dennehy plays Rowan as if he has a death wish.  All of his threats and his speeches make it clear that he’s just daring someone to shoot him.  Even when he realizes he’s about to get shot while sitting in his truck, he sit there and accepts the inevitable.  Perhaps even he was getting sick of dealing with himself.

After watching In Broad Daylight, it’s easy to understand why no one came forward as a witness.  By his own actions, Ken McErloy was destined to die violently.  A few people just decided to speed things up a little.  Who knows who?

Horror Song of the Day: Demon by Claudio Simonetti


Demons (1985, dir by Lamberto Bava)

For today’s horror song of the day, we have Demon, a track from the soundtrack for the 1985 film, Demons.  This song was composed and performed by Claudio Simonetti, who is best known as the keyboardist of Goblin.

The music video, incidentally, was directed by Michele Soavi, who also appeared in Demons as the mysterious masked man handing out free movie tickets.

Horror Film Review: Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster (dir by Robert Gaffney)


Despite the title, 1965’s Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster is not actually about Frankenstein or his monster.

Instead, the Frankenstein of the title is Frank Saunders (Robert Reilly), an astronaut who happens to be an android.  Frank was created by Dr. Adam Steele (James Karen, in one of his first film roles).  Frank is designed so that he can go into space without making any of the mistakes that a human astronaut might make.  He’s the next stage in the space program!  With Frank sitting in a rocket, America will have rightfully conquered the Moon in no-time flat!

(Don’t waste my time with any of the international treaty crap.  I don’t care how many other countries go to the Moon, it belongs to America because we landed their first.  It’s the 51st State and someday, we’ll probably end up moving the federal government to the moon.  Hopefully, we’ll just leave it there.)

Unfortunately, no sooner has Frank gone into space then he gets shot down by the Martians.  Frank crashes in Puerto Rico and, with his face horrifically disfigured, starts to malfunction,  Soon, he’s creating chaos all over the island and it’s up to Dr. Adam Steele — what a name! — to put a stop to it.  However, before Frank is deactivated, he needs to meet the Space Monster (a mutant named Mull) and defeat the Martians.

Why are the Martians on Earth?  According to a short, pointy-eared dwarf Martian named Dr. Nadir (Lou Cutell), an atomic war has led to the death of all the women on Mars.  Personally, I think Dr. Nadir is lying because he came to Earth with a Martian woman named Princess Marcuzan (Marilyn Hanold).  I think it’s more a case of almost all of the Martian women faking their own deaths so that they could get out of having to talk to Dr. Nadir.  Seriously, Dr. Nadir is a little creep.  Add to that, his Martian name actually sounds like an insult in English.  Personally, I think he should come up with a new name if he wants people to listen to him.  I would suggest calling himself Adam Steele but that name is already taken.

Soon, Martians are abducting bikini-clad women off of beaches in Puerto Rico.  Can the Martians be stopped?  Can Frank be restored?  Will James Karen go on to have a distinguished career as a beloved character actor?  Spoiler alert: the answer to the third question is yes.  Indeed, one of the joys of this film is getting to see James Karen in a rare leading role.  He commits to giving as good performance, even though the film itself is pretty silly.

Another joy of this film is the soundtrack, which is surprisingly good for a film of this budget and caliber.  Just try to get That’s The Way It’s Got To Be out of your head!  (In the film, this song plays as Frank prepares to go into space.)

That’s the way it’s got to be!

As for Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster …. I just can’t help it.  I like the damn thing.  It’s just so ludicrous and silly that it’s impossible for me not to enjoy.  The film’s producers decided that they didn’t just want a robot terrorizing an island.  They also wanted Martians and a mutant, as well!  And we’re all better off for it.

 

Horror On The Lens; Robot Monster (dir by Phil Tucker)


Oh my God, I love this movie!

In this 1953 film, a gorilla wearing a diving helmet uses the Calcinator Death Ray to wipe out almost all human life on Earth.  Only 8 people survive, among them a professor, his family, and Roy (future Eurospy star, George Nader).  Ro-Man (George Barrows) is hounded by his superior to track down and destroy the survivors.  Ro-Man does his best, though the humans prove to be …. well, they’re not really that resourceful.  In fact, they’re pretty dumb.  But Ro-Man is pretty dumb himself.

Regularly (and incorrectly) cited as being one of the worst films ever made, Robot Monster is an enjoyably absurd hybrid of horror and science fiction.  Earth is destroyed through a combination of bad lighting effects and stock footage and the arguments between Ro-Man and his superior have to be heard to be believed.  Robot Monster is actually a bit more self-aware than a lot of people realize.  This is a low-budget Z-movie that realizes that it’s a low-budget Z-movie and which cheerfully embraces its identity.  Robot Monster is a personal favorite and it’s a bit of Halloween tradition around these parts.

And now, enjoy Robot Monster in all of its black-and-white glory!