Guilty Pleasure #85: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (dir by John DeBello)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1978 film, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, opens with a title card that would make James Nguyen proud. It informs us that people laughed when they first watched a film called The Birds. Then, years later, a flock of birds went mad and started attacking people. No one is laughing now.

As for the rest of the film, it opens with a housewife being menaced by a giant tomato and then it just keeps rolling on from there. Something is causing normal, everyday tomatoes to go on a rampage and no one can figure out what. The government is powerless. (The government’s competence is best exemplified by a scene where a helicopter crashes. Reportedly, the helicopter crash was not scripted but the film’s director decided to keep the scene anyway.) The president puts Mason Dixon (David Miller) in charge of defeating the tomatoes.

The film is one gag and one song after another. Mason has a group of eccentric people working for him, including a superstar gymnast and a man who is always dragging a parachute behind him. The streets are soon running red with tomato juice while clueless teenagers continue to listen to absolutely terrible song called Puberty Love….

In the past, I’ve struggled to define how a pleasure can be guilty but I think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is actually one of the rare films that truly can live up to the label. It’s a pleasure because it’s just so silly and cheerfully stupid that it’s hard not to smile at it. It’s guilty because, premise aide, the film itself is never really as funny as you want it to be. Comedy — even when its something as silly as this film — is all about timing and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes never nails the timing of its gags. Instead, it plays out like a stoned daydream, amusing to talk about but a bit boring to actually witness.

That said, the film deserves some sort of award for its title and also for going on to inspire not only a few sequels but also a cartoon series. Producer Stephen Peace went on to have a successful career in California politics. Good for him.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.16 “Back to Oakland”

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark rejoins the police force and discovers that things have changed since he last wore the blue.

Episode 4.16 “Back to Oakland”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 3rd, 1988)

Jonathan and Mark return to Mark’s old hometown of Oakland, California. When Mark stops by his old precinct, he discovers that most of the police force is home with “blue flu,” protesting budget cuts. Mark volunteers to return to active duty for a few days. He’s paired up with his former partner, Frank Lawler (Kenneth Kimmins).

Mark, however, discovers that things have changed in his absence. Cops are viewed with suspicion by the people that they are supposed to be serving. And Frank is an unrepentant racist who expects Mark to have his back no matter what.

Jonathan, meanwhile, gets a job as a security guard at an all-black apartment complex. “You’re the first white man to ever work here,” he’s told by the landlady (Fran Bennett). The landlady’s son, Albert (Guy Killum), doesn’t trust white people and resists Jonathan’s attempts to reach out to him.

When Albert is caught shoplifting by Mark and Frank, Frank takes him into a back alley. Frank removes his handcuffs and dares Albert to take a swing at him. Mark steps out of the store just in time to see Frank shoot and kill Albert.

“He attacked me!” Frank says.

“I put cuffs on him,” Mark says.

In the end, Mark refuses to cover for Frank. Jonathan arranges for Albert’s younger brother (Kenny Ford, Jr.) to meet with Frank’s son (Mark Sussman). The episode ends with the two of them introducing each other.

This episode was Highway to Heaven at its most earnest and heartfelt. I imagine there are some that would complain that this episode attempts to “both sides” the issue of racism. Both Albert and Frank are portrayed as being obsessed their hatred of another race. That said, only one of the two men is portrayed as being in a position to kill the other and potentially get away with it. The scene of Mark, who has spent the entire series bragging about his time as an Oakland cop, taking a stand and telling the truth about what happened in the alley is surprisingly powerful. Mark does the right thing and he does it without hesitation. Is the ending of the episode a bit naive? Perhaps. But it’s so sincerely done that it’s hard not to appreciate the show’s intentions.

In other words, this episode was an example of what Highway to Heaven did well. It’s not subtle but it’s so heartfelt that the viewer can’t help but be moved.

Horror Game Review: 331 Oakmont Drive (Yunakitty, Choose Your Story)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Before I review this game, I have to give a shout-out to the community at Choose Your Story. I play a lot of online interactive fiction games and I spend time on a lot of different gaming sites. Some of them are good. Most of them are not. However, the games at Choose Your Story have been consistently good and enjoyable to play and read. The games follow the Choose Your Own Adventure format and it’s obvious that most of the writers put a good deal of effort into their stories. The community, as well, seems to offer up constructive criticism and really, the entire site feels like an antidote to all of the terrible things that you usually come across online. Whenever I play some overly long Twine game that was written by someone who clearly gave more thought to their background music than to actually coming up with a decent storyline, it makes me appreciate the work being done at Choose Your Story.

As for 331 Oakmont Drive, it’s an enjoyable horror storygame that is perfect for the Halloween season. You are a college student who, along with your friend Sophie, makes extra money cleaning other people’s houses. You have been hired to clean 331 Oakmont Drive but you have a bad feeling about the place as soon as you arrive. Do you stay in the house and do the job (you do need the money) or do you immediately try to leave? Either choice will take you on a different journey through 331 Oakmont Drive. This game has several endings. Some are happy, most are not. With many rooms to explore (and try to escape) and many macabre fates possibly waiting, this is one of those games that can be played over and over again. The game is entertaining, it’s well-written, and some thought was actually put into the story. It’s a game that will get you in the mood for the Halloween season.

Play 331 Oakmont Drive here!

Brad reviews SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE (2015)!

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Bradley Crain

The exploitively titled SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE opens up with employees of an “Arkansas Fracking” company causing such a disturbance underground that spiky, ancient sharks wake up and start swimming in our swamps and eating whoever they happen to come across. As a lifelong Arkansan, I’m guessing this would have to be set near the Louisiana line, but I don’t think it’s ever made clear. It doesn’t really matter because the movie is actually shot in the state of Florida. This shark awakening just happens to coincide with a group of hot, womens’ prison inmates, including Christine Nguyen and Cindy Lucas, getting into a van to go clear some stumps in that same shark swamp that’s just outside of the walls of the penitentiary that they’re currently residing in. We also meet Detective Kendra Patterson (Traci Lords) and her partner, who are looking for a group of criminals, led by Honey (Dominique Swain), who may have escaped into that same swamp that now contains our ancient, spiky sharks and our sexy Arkansas inmates! Before you know it, the trials and tribulations of every person involved will be put on the back burner as they try not to become the next victim of the Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre.

SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE is pretty much the exact film that you’d expect it to be. It’s cheap, with terribly cheesy special effects, bad acting and some super-sexy women. It was made for the SyFy channel so it doesn’t really have graphic gore or nudity, which I’m sure is disappointing for those hoping for more bosoms and blood. I did enjoy a scene early in the film when the ladies are extremely warm from a tough day of clearing stumps so they start spilling water on their white T-shirts, while their faces contort in unbridled pleasures. The film is directed by Jim Wynorski who’s known for his low budget exploitation movies such as CHOPPING MALL (1986), BIG BAD MAMA II (1987), NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988), BODY CHEMISTRY 4: FULL EXPOSURE (1995), ALABAMA JONES AND THE BUSTY CRUSADE (2005), and COBRAGATOR (2015). For the director’s fans, this movie has much more in common with his classic PIRANHACONDA (2012) than it does his BUSTY WIVES (2007) series.

The cast of SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE is pretty much top notch for a film like this. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen Traci Lords in one of her porn films, but I’ve always thought she was pretty good looking, and she is here. I did have Cinemax for a number of years as a young man so I’ve definitely seen some of Christine Nguyen’s work. I would come across titles like TARZEENA: JIGGLE OF THE JUNGLE (2008) starring Christine, and the man in me couldn’t help but stop and check out the story. Finally, as a huge fan of director John Woo’s FACE/OFF (1997), I remember liking Dominique Swain as Sean Archer’s rebellious young daughter in the film. In this film, she’s the queen of overacting as a lesbian outlaw who’s out to bust her lover out of jail when she finds herself in a life or death battle with deadly, ancient land sharks. It’s not exactly the performance of a lifetime, but it’s still kind of fun if you’re in the right frame of mind.

At the end of the day, you’re either the kind of person who likes a movie like SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE or you’re not. There’s not a lot of in between. It’s personally not my favorite kind of film, but I’ll pretty much watch anything with an Arkansas connection, even though this one is “in title only.” For fans of the director, the film DINOCROC VS. SUPERGATOR, or some of the beautiful cast members, this film may be just what your looking for this October!

Horror On TV: Hammer House Of Horror Episode #1: Witching Time (dir by Don Leaver)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hammer House of Horror was a British anthology series that ran for 13 episodes in 1980. As you can tell by the title, the show was produced by Hammer Films. Each episode dealt with a different type of horror and featured some of the best actors working in British film and television.

The first episode aired on September 13th, 1980. Lucinda Jessup (Patricia Quinn), a 17th century witch, escapes from a pack of witch hunters by traveling into the future. Discovering that her former home is now occupied by a film composer (Jon Finch) and his wife (Prunella Gee) and that the marriage is not a happy one, Lucinda puts her mark on the composer. Can the man’s unfaithful wife save him from the witch? The husband isn’t all that sympathetic and I think that many viewers will probably feel that it might be for the best to just let the witch have him but this is still a well-acted and atmospheric episode. Keep an eye for Ian McCulloch of Zombi 2 fame as the wife’s lover.

This episode also features some brief nudity so don’t watch it at work.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Maniac (dir by William Lustig)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1980, Maniac stars Joe Spinell as Frank Zito.

Frank lives in a run-down New York apartment. The grimy walls are covered with pictures that appear to have been cut out of magazines. The sheets on the bed look like they haven’t been washed in over a year and, for that matter, the sweaty and greasy Frank Zito looks like he could definitely use a shower as well. Frank lives alone but he has several blood-stained mannequins. He talks to the mannequins, cooing about how he just wants them to be nice to him and to stop abusing him. Just looking at the apartment, one can imagine the nauseating odor of sweet, blood, and who knows what else that seeps out whenever Frank Zito opens his door.

Frank Zito is also a murderer. The majority of the film is taken up with scenes of him stalking his victims. One extended sequences features him stalking a nurse through a subway station. Another scene features a rather nightmarish moment in which Frank, in slow motion, jumps on the hood of a car and shoots a man point blank with a shotgun. (The man is played by Tom Savini, who was also responsible for the film’s gore effects.) An innocent model is killed after Frank breaks into her apartment. “I just want to talk to you,” he says and maybe he actually believes that at first.

Frank has a chance meeting with a glamorous and beautiful photographer named Anna (Caroline Munro, playing a role that was rejected by Daria Nicolodi). Somewhat improbably, Anna is charmed by the socially awkward Frank and even agrees to go out with him. She’s touched when Frank shows up at the funeral of the model that he killed. “She didn’t have many friends,” Anna tells Frank.

Meanwhile, at the cemetery, Frank’s fate awaits….

Maniac is one of the most infamous and controversial grindhouse films ever made. The film’s atmosphere and the bleak visuals are the equivalent of being forced to look at New York while wearing glasses that somebody found floating in the sewer. The deaths are drawn out and Savini’s gore effects are disturbingly convincing. It’s a nearly plotless film about a man who hates women and what makes it scary as opposed to just exploitive is the fact that there are men like Frank Zito out there. Joe Spinell, who was one of the great character actors of the 70s, appeared in everything from The Godfather to Taxi Driver to Rocky but, in the end, it’s his performance as Frank Zito that he seems to be destined to be most-remembered for. Spinell is frightening, convincing, and disturbing as Frank Zito. Spinell was planning on doing a sequel before his untimely death, at the age of 52, in 1989.

(Spinell was a hemophiliac who bled to death after slipping in the shower. According to Maniac director William Lustig, when the police entered Spinell’s apartment, the first thing they saw was a huge amount of blood. The second thing they saw was a life-like replica of Spinell’s head sitting on top of the television. The head was a prop from Maniac and so convincing that the police originally assumed someone had broken into the apartment and decapitated him. Spinell’s death not only prevented him from playing Frank Zito for a second time but also kept him from reprising his role as Willie Cicci in The Godfather Part III.)

Maniac is not an easy film to defend but, if I had to, I would point out that Frank Zito is portrayed as being an unsympathetic loser throughout the entire film. He’s not some evil genius like Hannibal Lecter. He’s not a nonstop quip machine like Freddy Krueger. He’s not even enigmatic or superhuman like Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. Instead, he’s a pathetic loser who can’t even win an argument with the voices in his head. Horror films all too often glorify or make excuses for serial killers. (Just look at all of the Ted Bundy films.) Maniac does not present Frank Zito as being anything other than a pathetic and twisted man and, as such, it’s probably one of the most realistic portrayals of a serial killer to be found on film. Frank Zito is not meant to be glorified, though I’m sure that went over the heads of more than a few people who saw this film when it first opened. It’s an ugly film but it’s about an ugly subject. It’s exploitive but ultimately it’s on the side of Zito’s victims.

The film was an early directorial credit of William Lustig, who worked as a production assistant on Dario Argento’s Inferno in order to see how Argento deal with shooting on location in New York. It was while working on Inferno that Lustig met Daria Nicolodi and offered her the part of Anna in Maniac. (Anna’s last name is D’Antoni, a clear nod to Nicolodi’s Italian roots.) Nicolodi was disgusted by the script and turned it down. (Caroline Munro accepted the role and was reunited with her Starcrash co-star, Joe Spinnell. Interestingly enough, even after all of the controversy created by Maniac, Munro and Spinell went on to co-star in The Last Horror Movie.) Lustig based his serial killer on David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz and named him after director Joe Zito, who would go on to direct Friday the 13th — The Final Chapter.

For all the controversy that has dogged Maniac over the years, it’s easy to forget that the film itself is surprisingly well-directed and acted. Caroline Munro bring some much needed class to the proceedings, even if the script requires her character to make some truly dumb decisions. And Joe Spinell was simply horrifying as Frank Zito. It’s not a pleasant film and if you ever find yourself in a home where the owner has a Maniac poster on the wall, I would suggest leaving immediately. It is, however, a landmark of grindhouse filmmaking.

(Be sure to read Arleigh’s thoughts on Maniac here!)

October Hacks: Tourist Trap (dir by David Schmoeller)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1979’s Tourist Trap opens in the same way that many slasher films have opened. A group of friends — young, attractive, and not particularly bright — are driving through a secluded, rural area when they have car trouble.

Now, I have to say that, if I was driving through a rural secluded area or even if I was just a passenger in the vehicle, I would totally freak out if the car broke down. I mean, seriously, you’re in the middle of nowhere. You have no idea who or what might be hiding behind those trees. Even if you don’t get attacked by a bunch of inbred hillbilly cousins, you might get eaten by a bear or, even worse, you might get mauled by a deer and end up with Lyme Disease. Or you might just end up with a bunch of flies buzzing around your face, which is really even worse than getting attacked by a wild animal.

(Pro-tip: One way to deal with flies is to combine the open flame of a lighter with a can of hairspray.)

I’ve seen enough slasher films to know that bad things happen when you get lost in the woods. However, up until everything started getting all self-referential in the 1990s, old school slasher films were infamous for featuring characters who had apparently never seen a slasher film or really any other type of movie before.

Your car broke down in the woods? One member of your party has already disappeared while looking for a gas station? You have no way of letting anyone know where you are? Sure, why not go skinny dipping? For that matter, why not check out Slausen’s Lost Oasis, a run-down shack that is the home of a lot of wax figures and which is owned by the shotgun-toting Mr. Slausen (Chuck Connors). Mr. Slausen is pretty bitter about the new freeway. It took away all of his business.

Of course, it turns out that there’s more to this tourist trap than meets the eyes. For one thing, the mannequins often seem to randomly come to life and murder anyone who spends too much time alone with them. Secondly, things in the tourist trap often move on their own, as if someone has psychic powers. And then there the enigmatic man who wears a wax mask and likes to take people hostage before transforming them into wax figures….

Tourist Trap has a totally ludicrous plot but Slausen’s Oasis is such a creepy location and Chuck Connors plays his role with such unnerving intensity that it doesn’t matter that things don’t always make sense. At its best, Tourist Trap plays out like a filmed nightmare, one in which the rules of normal physics often don’t seem to apply. The victims are interchangeable (though I did like Tanya Roberts’s energetic performance as Becky) but the kills are imaginative and memorable gruesome. Researching the film, I was surprised to discover that Tourist Trap was given a PG-rating, despite the skinny dipping and the blood and all of the terrifying wax figures. Don’t let that rating fool you. This is genuinely scary slasher film and one that everyone should see before going on an impulsive road trip to the middle of nowhere.

On-Stage With The Lens: Medea (dir by Mark Cullingham)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 431 BC, the Greek playwright Euripides premiered his latest play, Medea. The story of a woman scorned who deals with her anger by murdering her ex-husband’s soon-to-be wife, future father-in-law, and finally her own children, Medea has lived on as one of Euripides’s most-performed plays. Three actresses have won Tony awards for playing Medea on Broadway, setting the record for the most Tonys won for playing the same role.

Medea is a play that is open to a lot of interpretations. Quite a few stagings of the play present Medea as being a sympathetic character, a victim of a misogynistic culture who was driven to extremes by the men around her. I can see that argument and it is true that the play does emphasize that all the men in Medea’s life treat her terribly. Creon plots to send Medea into exile so that his daughter can marry her husband. Medea’s smarmy husband, Jason, says that he has no choice but to marry a princess because Medea is only a “barbarian,” fit to be his mistress but not his wife. In many ways, Medea is a sympathetic character. But, for me, all of that sympathy goes out the window as soon as she murders her children. The fact that, in most stage versions of the play, the Gods then help her to escape makes her even less sympathetic in my eyes. (Needless to say, it certainly doesn’t do much for the reputation of the Greek Gods. Then again, one gets the feeling that even the ancient Gods didn’t particularly like their Gods.)

In 1983, Zoe Caldwell won a Tony for playing Medea. (Interestingly enough, in this production, the Nurse was played by Judith Anderson, who also won a Tony for playing Medea, in 1947.) A performance at the Kennedy Center was filmed for PBS. The production, with its minimalist sets and atmosphere of growing dread, captures the nightmarish intensity of the story. Zoe Caldwell gives a riveting performance as Medea, alternating between wild-eyed madness and subtle manipulation.

As the most horrific of the Greek plays, Medea is a production that just feels right for the Halloween season. Here is Zoe Caldwell in 1983’s Medea.

The Barbarians (1987, directed by Ruggero Deodato)

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

In a magical land of dragons and fierce warriors, the evil sorcerer Kadar (Richard Lynch) attacks a peaceful group of traveling entertainers, slaughtering the majority of them and kidnapping their queen, Canary (Virginia Bryant). Canary has a magical ruby that Kadar hopes will increase his power. Canary also has two sons who are each sold separately into slavery. Years later, these muscle-bound twins, Kutchek (Peter Paul) and Gore (David Paul), will be reunited and will team up to save their mother, fight a dragon, and free the kingdom from Kadar.

An Italian-American co-production that was directed by Ruggero Deodato and distributed by Cannon, The Barbarians was a starring vehicle for the so-called Barbarian Brothers. Peter and David Paul were twin bodybuilders who appeared in a handful of films and who are today best-known for getting cut out of Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers. (In his director’s commentary, when explaining why their scene didn’t work, Stone said, “It was my fault.”) Peter and David Paul were not natural-born actors. They’re both pretty stiff in The Barbarians but their natural chemistry as brothers made up for a lot. They spend most of their screentime in The Barbarians bickering and yelling at each other and you get the feeling that was something they had a lot of experience with.

The Barbarians starts slow. It takes a while to get going and the plot has the ramshackle feel of many Cannon productions. Richard Lynch, as always, is a great villain and familiar faces like Michael Berryman and George Eastman have small roles. Trying to keep track of who is betraying who can require keeping a scorecard while watching the movie but The Barbarians does a good job of creating its fantasy world (and it looks really good for a film that was probably not made for much money) and once the action finally does get started, there’s enough of it to keep things entertaining. The Barbarians battle not only Kadar’s sorcery but a dragon as well and they do it all while trash talking each other. The film feels like a cross between Dungeons and Dragons and a regional wrestling production. It’s entertainingly dumb.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.6 “The Savage Payoff”

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey gets involved in the shady world of college athletics.

Episode 1.6 “The Savage Payoff”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on November 18th, 1957)

When a college basketball player is killed in a car accident, the police discover evidence that he may have been throwing games for the mob. Lt. Franklin (Bill Zuckert) suspects that the dead player’s best friend and roommate, Dave Carter (Don Hastings), might be taking money as well. Disguising herself as the dead player’s sister, Casey introduces herself to Dave and befriends him in an attempt to discover the truth. It turns out that the gangsters have been paying Dave off but, at the last minute, Dave decides not to throw the game and instead leads the team to victory.

This episode bothered me a little. When the episode begins, there is no real evidence that Dave has been taking money from the mob. Instead, Lt. Franklin just assumes that Dave is guilty and, with only his hunch to go on, he assigns Casey to befriend Dave and try to prove his guilt. Obviously, there are times when the police have to go undercover but it was still hard not to feel that the police should have at least had some sort of solid evidence before upending Dave’s life. The fact that Dave was both mourning his friend and was obviously attracted to Casey just made the whole thing feel all the more icky. Indeed, a lot of Casey’s action in this episode seem like they would be considered to be entrapment.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode was that Dave was played by a young Don Hastings. If you’re like me and you grew up with an aunt who loved As The World Turns, you’ll immediately recognize him as Dr. Bob Hughes. Hastings played Dr. Hughes for a record-setting 50 years and even spoke the show’s final lines when he said, “Good night” on September 17th, 2010. Hastings gave a convincing performance as Dave. I was happy to see him take a stand and refuse to fix the game. I was also happy that Casey didn’t have to take him to jail. That would have been depressing.

Speaking of jail, there’s where Casey’s going next week! We’ll see what happens!