Tag Archives: review

Cleaning Out The DVR: Lifeguard (dir by Daniel Petrie)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I had a long day on Wednesday so I unwound the only way that seemed appropriate.  I watched Road House, the classic film in which Patrick Swayze plays Dalton.  Dalton is the second-greatest bouncer of all time.  Who is the greatest?  None other than Dalton’s mentor, Wade Garrett!

Now, there’s a lot of reasons to love Road House but the performance of Sam Elliott in the role of Wade Garrett is definitely one of them.  If you don’t cry a little when Ben Gazzara’s goons murder old Wade, you just don’t have a heart.  In the end, of course, Wade’s bloody corpse gets left on top of the bar and, honestly, I think that’s the way Wade would want to go.

Anyway, watching Road House reminded me of just how awesome Sam Elliott is so I decided to follow it up by watching another Sam Elliott film, one that I had previously DVR’d off of TMC last week.  Filmed in 1975 and released in ’76, Lifeguard features a youngish Sam Elliott as the title character.  Even though the lifeguard in question might be named Rick Carlson, it’s hard not to think of this film as essentially being Wade Garrett: The Early Years.

When Lifeguardopens, Rick Carlson is 32 years old.  He’s been a lifeguard since he graduated high school.  In his youth, he was a championship-winning surfer.  Now, he’s an aging beach bum who is content to spend both the summer and the winter sitting in his lifeguard tower, watching life on the beach and occasionally saving someone from drowning.  Rick has a small apartment, several girlfriends, and a legion of adoring fans.  Younger lifeguards like Chris (Parker Stevenson, who would later co-star on Baywatch) view him as being a mentor.  Beachgoers view him as being an authority figure, the type that can go to if the surfers are being obnoxious or if some old perv is wandering around exposing himself.  17 year-old Wendy (Kathleen Quinlan) flirts with him and, against his better instincts and common sense, Rick often flirts back.  Despite a bit of gray in his hair and the fact that he gets winded a bit easier, Rick is still living the same life that he was living when he first graduated high school and he’s happy with that.

Or, at least, he is until he gets an invitation to his 15 year high school reunion and he discovers that everyone else is actually living a real life with real responsibilities.  When he discovers that his former girlfriend, Cathy (Anne Archer), is now divorced, Rick starts to think about what could have been.  When another former high school friend, Larry (Stephen Young), offers Rick a high-paying job selling cars, Rick finds himself wondering if it’s time to leave the beach and finally get a “real” job.

Lifeguard is an episodic film, a mix of comedy and drama that has an unexpectedly melancholy feel to it.  For the most part, the film asks us to sympathize with Rick’s desire to spend the rest of his life on the beach but, at the same time, it also doesn’t deny that there are drawbacks to Rick’s lifestyle.  Rick’s living the life he wants but he’s largely doing so alone, unable to build up any sort of personal connection with anyone who isn’t 16 years younger than him.  Interestingly enough, for a film called Lifeguard, we really don’t see Rick rescuing many people or doing anything else that you might expect to see a lifeguard doing.  Modern viewers will probably spend the entire movie waiting for Rick to give a speech about why being a lifeguard is a holy calling but that moment never happens.  Instead, it’s pretty clear that Rick mostly just enjoys hanging out at the beach and being a lifeguard allows him to get paid to do just that.  Watching the film, I could not help but compare Rick’s laid back attitude to the overly earnest lifeguards who populated Baywatch.  Mitch Buchannon would have kicked Rick off the beach for not taking the job seriously enough.  As well, as opposed to the vibrant cinematography that we’ve come to expect from beach movies, the visual style of Lifeguard is often moody and underlit.  At times, the beach itself looks like it’s suffering from an existential crisis.  The sand looks dull.  The skies above the water often appear to be gray and full of clouds.  Rick has apparently decided to spend the rest of his life on the ugliest beach in California.

It’s a flawed film, to be sure.  The attempts to mix drama and comedy often lead to uneven results and Anne Archer, Parker Stevenson, and Stephen Young are stuck with underwritten characters.  (The film’s script especially lets Young down, making Larry such an obnoxious character that it’s hard to believe that he and Rick would have ever been friends in the firs place.)  When the film does work, it’s due to the performances of Kathleen Quinlan and Sam Elliot.  Though her character is a cliché (the rebellious teenager who isn’t as worldly as she thinks she is), Quinlan does a good job of giving the character a personality that makes her more than just a stock temptation.  

The film belongs, of course, to Sam Elliott and he is perfectly cast.  As he would do decades later in The Hero, Elliott does a wonderful job of suggesting the little doubts that lurk underneath the laid back surface of his character.  His strongest moment occurs not on the beach but when Rick goes to his high school reunion and realizes that he no longer fits in with his former classmates, all of whom have careers and families.  Rick goes from being cocky to insecure in a matter of minutes and Elliott captures Rick’s emotions beautifully.  At that moment, it’s hard not to feel sorry for Rick.  One can understand why he’s tempted to leave the beach for the real world but, at the same time, one can also see that Rick understands that it might be too late for him to do so.  He’s spent the last 15 years in a perpetual adolescence and the rest of the world has moved on.  Elliott perfectly captures the moment when Rick realizes that his happiness has come with a price.  Rick is a flawed (if ultimately good) person but Sam Elliott gives a flawless performance in the role.  Just as surely was Wade Garrett rescued Dalton when Wesley’s men tried to stop the beer delivery, Sam Elliott saves Lifeguard.

Is The Amazon Climate Pledge Advertisement The Worst Commercial Of All Time?

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Usually, the only time we talk about commercials here on the Shattered Lens is after the Super Bowl or if we’re sharing a trailer. However, there has recently been one commercial that is so loathsome, so tone deaf, and so goddamn annoying that it has managed to unite just about everyone I know, on both the Left and the Right, in mutual disdain.

Here, for all to see, is the Amazon Climate Pledge commercial:

The commercial is 90 seconds of an international group of children and teenagers telling CEOs that they need to do more to protect the environment. Some of them appear to be wandering through a Mad Max-style desert. Some are trapped in a Werner Herzog movie. The “I can grow my own food” person appears to be in a Ridley Scott film. For some reason, the Italian kid who is worried about his imaginary grandchildren is hanging out in the middle of a landfill. I’m sure that’s doing wonders for his state of mind. Italy’s a beautiful country when you don’t spend all of your time hanging out at a landfill.

Why is this commercial the worst?

First off, it’s apparently targeted at CEOs, ordering them to sign a pledge. The pledge doesn’t really mean anything but if you sign it, you’ll be spared from having to talk to the “Try sustainable farming” girl so it’s probably worth the trouble. Here’s the problem — I’M NOT A CEO! If the commercial is meant for CEOs, why is it airing during Big Brother? Are a bunch of polluting CEOs watching Big Brother in their spare time? Why am I seeing it on Hulu? Do CEOs put their polluting agenda on hold so they can get together to binge King of the Hill? The answer, of course, is that it’s not really targeted at CEOs. It’s targeted at people who are dumb enough to think that it’s targeted to CEOs, people who will presumably say, “Amazon is leading the way to get businesses to clean up their act!”

This bring me to my second point, which is that the commercial was made by AMAZON! This is the company that’s run by the man who wants to fly in a rocket for fun. I’m usually not one to complain about eccentric billionaires having their fun but if you’re going to start your own space program, that means you don’t get to yell at me about the environment.

But that’s not all. Could they have found more annoying spokespeople than the kids in this commercial? I’m torn on which one of them I hate the most. The landfill boy fills me with rage whenever he starts taking about his non-existent grandchildren but the sustainable farming girl reminds me of every annoying student council candidate who I knew in high school. But really, I think the worst of the bunch are the two sisters who apparently live in a flooded town. When the younger of the two yells, “Yeah!” at me after her sister tells me to do something …. I’M NOT A CEO! YOU’RE YELLING AT THE WRONG PERSON! And why the Hell are you wandering around in the middle of a flood anyways? We should all do what we can to help and protect the environment but these entitled little brats make me want to turn up the air conditioning. It doesn’t help that the commercial ends with all of them staring straight at the camera (i.e. me) with a look on their face like I just gave away their favorite pet.

Finally, wind farms are a terrible eyesore. They may be good for the environment but they look like something from a dystopian sci-fi movie. By all means, build them but don’t stick them in every commercial and expect everyone to go, “Oh wow, windmills!”

Commercials like this annoy me because they’re so extremely self-congratulatory and counter-productive. They inspire many thoughts but little of them have to do with saving the planet.

TV Review: The Walking Dead 11.1 “Acheron: Part One” (dir by Kevin Dowling)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

“How are Father Gabriel and Eugene still alive?”

That was my initial reaction while watching the premiere episode of the 11th and final season of The Walking Dead. You have to understand that it’s been a while since I last watched The Walking Dead. I lost interest in the show after Carl died during season 8. I could put up with the slow pace, the constant introductions of new eccentric colonies, and the occasionally overwrought dialogue but the death of Carl pretty much removed the element of hope from the show and without hope, what’s the point?

Though I wasn’t watching, I did vaguely keep up with what was happening on the show, largely through my friends on twitter. I know, for instance, that Rick Grimes is believed to be dead, even though he’s alive. I know that Michonne is alive but no longer on the show. I know that Negan is alive but basically a prisoner. I know that Maggie’s in charge and Darryl is her second-in-command. I know there’s been a time jump. And I know that season 11 is slated to be the final of the original series, which is why I decided that I might as well watch and attempt to review it.

(I say attempt because, honestly, this show has a history of capturing my acceptance with a few good episodes, just for me to subsequently lose interest once the narrative momentum stalls out about halfway through the season.)

While I knew a lot about what had happened on the show, what I did not know were that Father Gabriel and Eugene were still alive. I seriously figured that, if anyone was destined to either get eaten by walkers or beaten to death by whoever the season’s big bad was, it would be Gabriel and Eugene. And yet, Gabriel and Eugene are still alive, whereas so many other strong characters have died. In Eugene’s case, I’m going to guess that he’s a fun character to write for and Josh McDermitt’s performance in the role is so wonderfully odd that I can imagine the show’s producers and writers want to keep him around as long as possible. As for Gabriel …. well, who knows? He’s got one eye and that collar is still amazingly clean but otherwise, I’m stunned that Gabriel is still getting in the way.

As for tonight’s episode, it felt like a typical episode of The Walking Dead. (Or, at least, that’s the way it felt to me. As I said, it’s been a few years since I last regularly watched.) We had two storylines. In the first one, Negan, Darryl, Maggie, Gabriel, and a bunch of doomed, anonymous people went on a journey to a possibly abandoned military base. However, a storm forced them to take shelter in a subway tunnel. The tunnel turned out to be full of walkers and, in typical Walking Dead fashion, there were hints that the tunnel was also the home to yet another colony of weirdoes. Negan challenged Maggie’s authority but, for once, he managed to do it without launching into a ten-minute monologue. (Instead, it was just a three minute speech.) The show ended with the suggestion that Negan may have abandoned Maggie to be eaten by walkers. I have a feeling that Maggie’s going to survive and probably meet a bunch of weird people living somewhere in the tunnel.

The second storyline featured Ezekiel, Gabriel, Princess, and Yumiko being held prisoner in the Commonwealth, a community where everyone dressed like an Imperial Storm Trooper. In a nicely-edited scene, the four of them were interrogated and asked a series of questions that may have seemed meaningless but which were clearly designed to break down their defenses and brainwash them. I actually preferred the second storyline to the first, if just because of the enjoyable eccentric dialogue and the performances of McDermitt, Khary Payton, Paola Lazaro, and Eleanor Matsuura. I’m actually looking more forward to the continuation of their adventures than I am to several episodes of Darryl and Negan yelling at each other in the subway tunnel.

This episode of The Walking Dead was better than I expected. I did miss the quiet authority of Andrew Lincoln but, at the same time, the action moved a bit quicker than I remembered it moving back in season 8. As well, the subway tunnel was a wonderfully creepy location and I’m genuinely curious about what’s going on with the Common Wealth. I’m looking forward to next week’s show. It’s been a while since I watched but I’ve still got enough emotion invested in the show that I can say that I hope Maggie’s alive!

As I said above, I’m going to try to review this final season. The Walking Dead started the same year as Through The Shattered Lens, after all! Though I think everyone here at the TSL has had our frustrations with the series, it’s still definitely a part of this site’s history. I’m looking forward to seeing how (and if) the story ends.

Lisa’s Week In Television: 8/15/21 — 8/21/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Usually, I’m not a big news watcher.  That’s not to say that I don’t know what’s going on in the world.  It’s just that I make it a point not to spend hours sitting in front of CNN, MSNBC, or FOX because I’ve noticed that people that do that seem to go insane after a week or so.  In fact, I’m the type of person who regularly makes it a point to go for a week without checking any of the big political accounts on twitter because I know that their nonstop partisanship can be bad for one’s mental health.  I’m proud to say that, from Obama to Trump to Biden, I’ve always blocked the @POTUS.

That really wasn’t an option this week.  The images coming out of Afghanistan were too horrifying and the President’s response to them were too baffling for me too look away.  So, when it comes to television, I’ve spent a lot of this week watching the news.  In fact, I’ve probably spent too much.  I’m going back to my old habits starting on Monday.

Here’s the details on the non-news related television that I watched this week:

Bachelor In Paradise (Monday Night, ABC)

I watched the premiere episode of the new season but, at the same time, I was also watching Gleaming the Cube with the #MondayActionMovie live tweet group and I have to admit that skateboarding Christian Slater was a bit more entertaining than shallow singles on the beach.  So, long story short, I didn’t really pay much attention to Bachelor In Paradise.  David Spade appeared to be having fun as the temporary host and one of the bachelors spent almost the entire episode naked and I couldn’t help but notice that the censorship box over his crotch was a little bit on the small side.

That said, I do have to say that I usually enjoy Bachelor In Paradise.  It’s kind of a nice antidote to all the forced earnestness of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  It’s honest about the fact that it’s just a trashy reality show.

Big Brother (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I’m still watching this show and writing about it at the Big Brother Blog!

Hell’s Kitchen (Monday, FOX)

Both teams did a good job this week and it’s good that they did since Melissa Joan Hart was one of the celebrity diners!  You don’t want to mess up when you’re cooking for Sabrina.  Still, despite their success, someone had to be eliminated and this week, it was Josie.  Still Gordon Ramsay told Josie to keep cooking and to keep learning.  It was a pretty nice episode, actually.

Lonesome Dove (Wednesday Night, DVD)

I’ve been watching Lonesome Dove with the the #WestWed live tweet group, hosted by Matthew Titus.  This week, we watched the third episode, which was a real heartbreaker.  Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones were forced to hang their oldest friend after he fell in with a bunch of outlaws.  Then, after that tragedy, Danny Glover ended up getting impaled with a spear.  The old west was brutal!

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

While Vicki struggled with her place on the boat and worked as her father’s secretary, various passengers fell in love.  “She may have a South Beach body but she’s a North Pole personality,” Doc Bricker scornfully said about one passenger who didn’t appreciate his attempts at flirtation.  That was a mean thing to say!  Anyway, that’s all I really remember about the episode.  I always enjoy watching this show because the cruise looks fun but it’s rare that I remember much about anything that happens.

Saved By The Bell (Monday, E!)

On Monday, E! did a Saved By The Bell marathon.  They aired all of the senior-year episodes, except for the ones that featured Tori.  I watched a few.  Everyone totally rearranged their lives so Zack could graduate, even though Zack’s academic problems were totally his own fault.  Awwwww!

As I said, I spent most of this week following the news and watching movies.  Seriously, the DVR is so full of things I need to watch, I’m surprised it hasn’t stopped working.  Hopefully, I’ll make my way through some of that next week!

Documentary Review: Kids Who Kill (dir by Andy Genovese)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s currently True Crime Week on A&E, with every day being filled with programming about murders, court cases, and unsolved mysteries.  It’s all a bit icky but I do have to admit that I have a weakness for true crime.  That’s why, when A&E aired the 2017 documentary Kids Who Kill yesterday, I ended up watching.

As soon as Kids Who Kill started, I found myself wondering if I had watched it before.  It turned out that I hadn’t.  Instead, my sense of Deja Vu was due to the face that I had seen all of the stories featured in Kids Who Kill on numerous other true crime programs.  One reason why there are so many true crime programs is that they’re cheap and easy to make.  Most of the information is in the public domain and you can always grab footage from the local news broadcasts of the time.  The reporters who covered the murders and the trials are always willing to build their brand by appearing on the program and saying stuff like, “Things like this just didn’t happen in our town.”  If the actual murderer is still alive and willing to be interviewed, chances are that his story will be told on at least a dozen different programs.

That’s certainly the case with Eric Smith, who was 13 years old when he murdered a 4 year-old boy.  Smith has been incarcerated since 1994 and his willingness to be interviewed has led to him being featured on several different programs, including this documentary.  In every interview, Smith says, not surprisingly, that he was an abused and emotionally neglected child who, having been bullied his entire life, lashed out in one terrible moment and that he’s no longer that child and that he deserves to be released from prison.  (You can always tell if the program is sympathetic to Smith by whether or not they include the fact that he sodomized the boy that he killed.  Kids Who Kill leaves out that fact.)  What Smith always seems to miss is that one can very legitimately say, “That sucks you were abused and you never really had a chance but, at the same time, you strangled and beat a four year-old to death so fuck you.”

Kids Who Kill tells several stories about people like Eric Smith, who committed murder when they were just a minor and who were subsequently sent to prison, often for life.  It’s full of contemporary news footage and psychoanalysts offering up theories about why kids kill but it never really digs too deeply into the subject.  There are several prison interviews with the killers.  At least two of them blame “first shooter video games.”  (While I would certainly be concerned about someone who spent 24 hours a day playing a violent video game, it’s also hard to buy that a 16 year-old couldn’t tell the difference between Doom and real life.  If you thought Doom — or Halo, as another shooter claims — was real life then you obviously had issues before you even picked up your first controller.)  Every killer interviewed expresses remorse but, with the exception of Nathan Brazill, who was convicted of shooting a teacher, none of them seem particularly sincere about it.  Then again, one could argue that they seem insincere because a lifetime in prison has conditioned them not to express any emotions that could be mistaken for weakness.  Perhaps I was being too quick to expect tears from men who live in a confined society where tears can lead to being targeted.

It’s a complex subject, kids who kill.  Can we forgive?  Can murderers be rehabilitated?  Can someone mature into becoming a different person than they were when they were 16?  Is it more important to punish or to rehabilitate?  These are important questions and, unfortunately, they’re not the type of questions that are really explored in any sort of depth by most true crime shows and documentaries.  Kids Who Kill offers up some disturbing stories but it never scratches beneath the surface.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/8/21 — 8/14/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m healthy again this week, at least physically.  (I’m stressed out mentally but that’s a story for another time.)  Here’s what I watched:

Allo Allo (PBS, Sunday Night)

It appeared that Rene and LeClerc were about to executed by the Communist Resistance until it was discovered that Denise, the leader of the communists, was Rene’s “childhood love.”  So now, Rene has to marry Denise, despite the fact that he’s already married to Edith.  Meanwhile, the two British airmen decided to surrender themselves to the Germans but they could not find an officer to surrender to and surrendering to an enlisted man just wouldn’t be the right thing to do.  So, they ran off to search for Officer Crabtree.

It was a chaotic but funny episode, as they tend to be.

The Bachelorette (ABC, Monday Night)

This week was the finale of The Bachelorette!  Still mourning the loss of Greg, Katie got engaged to Blake.  In fact, she basically just told Justin to go home so that she and Blake could spend all of their time together.  For all the talk about how Katie was all about ending drama, this was certainly a messy season and it only got messier when Blake met Katie’s mother and her aunt.  Her mom actually had some intelligent things to say and was right to be skeptical.  Katie’s aunt was perhaps the scariest person to ever appear on The Bachelorette and it was hard not to feel that her main concern was just making sure that Katie would forever be as miserable as everyone else in the family.  Katie and Blake got engaged in the desert, in a ceremony that was so pretentious that …. well, Katie and Blake are both fairly pretentious so I guess it was appropriate.

I watched the episodes with my girls, Evelyn, Emma, and Amy, and a bottle of wine.  Between the four of us, a lot of snarky and unrepeatable comments were made towards the television on Monday night.  That’s really the only right way to watch the finale of any season of the Bachelorette.  Admittedly, I’m not much of a drinker, which is another way of saying that a little Chardonnay puts me flat on my ass.  Evelyn says that I was drunk before I finished my first glass.  Personally, I think it was probably more like two glasses.  The point is that this messy show is the only thing that ever drives me to drink.

As we watched Katie scream at Greg at the reunion show, we all agreed that Katie is still in love with him and that she only got engaged to Blake as a sort of rebound revenge thing.  It was interesting to watch Katie literally transform into the villain of her season before our eyes.  If Blake and Katie break up (which they will), will Blake appear on a fourth season of the Bachelorette?  I guess we’ll find out.  Have they broken up already?  I don’t know, I was dealing with a sip of Chardonnay

.

Bar Rescue (Sunday, Paramount TV)

I watched an episode of this on Sunday morning, while I was trying to work up the strength to get out of bed and start my day.  Actually, since I wasn’t wearing my contacts or my glasses, I didn’t so much watch it as I listened to it while squinting.  Taffer was yelling at some blurry guy who I guess owned a fetish bar of some sort.

Big Brother (All the time, CBS and Paramount Plus)

Yep, I’m still watching this and writing about it over at the Big Brother Blog.

Court Cam (Wednesday Day, A&E)

I only had this show on for background noise while Windows was doing an update.  At this point, it seems like they’ve repeated every episode of Court Cam at least a hundred times.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen Amber Guyger received a hug from Botham Jean’s brother before going to prison.

Fantasy Island (Tuesday Night, FOX)

Fox’s Fantasy Island reboot premiered this week and the first episode was stylish but also a bit predictable and, dare I say it, a little dull.  Roselyn Sanchez seems like a good choice to play the proprietor of Fantasy Island but it’s already easy to see that the show, much like last year’s attempt to turn Fantasy Island into a film franchise, is probably going to get bogged down in its own mythology.

Fasten Your Seat Belts (Wednesdays, A&E)

Originally, I was pretty skeptical of this show, which is made up footage of people acting either silly or crazy at airports and on airplanes.  But the two episodes that I watched on Wednesday morning were actually kind of cute.  It helps that Robert Hays is a very charming host.

Friends (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched an episode on Monday.  Chandler and Monica returned from their honeymoon, convinced they had made new friends, just to discover that they had been given fake numbers.  (Chandler was particularly shocked as all he did during the entire honeymoon was “joke and joke and joke!”)  That was just the B-plot, though.  The main plot was Ross and Rachel again trying to figure out who was responsible for their latest tryst.  It was a cute episode, featuring Joey’s “western Europe” story.

I watched another episode on Thursday, this one featuring Monica obsessing on whether or not the maid had stolen her clothes.  Needless to say, both she and Chandler went a bit overboard in their investigation and they were soon left without a maid.  The debate over whether or not the maid had stolen Monica’s pink bra — which Monica later discovered that she was actually wearing at the time — was one that I could relate to, as Erin and I have had similar debates and oddly, many of them have centered on a pink bra.  It’s a cute bra and I’m pretty sure that I’m the one who bought it.  My sister disagrees.

Hell’s Kitchen (Monday Night, FOX)

After taking two weeks off for the Olympics, Hell’s Kitchen returned this week with an episode in which Hell’s Kitchen hosted a charity dinner.  Needless to say, it was a disaster and Victoria’s dream of being head chef at Gordon Ramsay Steak came to an end.  Why does Chef Ramsay always agree to allow charities to hold events at the restaurant?  It’s always a disaster.

Kids Behind Bars: Life or Parole (Tuesday Night, A&E)

As the result of a Supreme Court decision, prisoners who were sentenced to life imprisonment when they were juveniles are being given new sentences and, of course, A&E is there to record every dramatic and heart-wrenching moment.  It all feels a bit exploitive, of course.  I watched two episodes, both of which were painfully heavy-handed as far as who the cameras focused on and on whose pain was considered to be more important, the victim or the victimizer.  A&E undoubtedly gets good ratings from shows like this but they still leave you feeling icky after the finish.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (Weekday Morning, Channel 33)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday morning.  The first episode was memorable because there were two possible fathers and both of them looked exactly like Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman.  The second episode featured a married couple that was being driven apart by accusations of infidelity.  No one drags out reading DNA test results like Judge Lake.

Lonesome Dove (Wednesday Night, DVD)

I’ve been watching this classic 1990 miniseries with the #WestWed live tweet group, hosted by Matthew Titus.  I watched the first two episodes this week.  It’s the story of a cattle drive during the dying days of the old west, featuring great performances from Tommy Lee Jones, Diane Lane, Chris Cooper, Fredric Forrest, and especially Robert Duvall.  Even Steve Buscemi showed up during the second episode!

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

There’s a chance that Moone Boy might be leaving PBS’s schedule next week.  If so, this week’s episode was a good one to go out on.  When Liam and Debra go on a anniversary vacation to the beach, Martin and Padriac head down to Dublin (“where the streets all have names,” we’re told) to stay with Martin’s uncle.  When we last Uncle Danny, he was pretending to be a roadie with U2.  However, in this episode, Danny is honest about his profession as an encyclopedia salesman.  Through a series of events too complicated to explain in a capsule review, Martin and Padriac spend the week selling encyclopedias while Liam is tempted by an ex-girlfriend who happens to be at the same resort as he and Debra.  It was funny, sweet, and just silly enough to be effective.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright got a dog to protect the shop while Granville feared that he might be the father of Maureen’s baby.  Silly, Granville!  You have to have sex with someone to get them pregnant and that’s definitely something Granville’s never done.

Seinfield (Weeknights, CBS)

I watched two episodes on Sunday.  I relate so much to Elaine Benes.  During the first episode, she went hoarse after spending all night yelling at a barking dog.  (Like I said, I can relate.)  During the second episode, she worked with a potentially psychotic co-workers and still managed to put out the latest edition of the J. Peterman catalogue on schedule.

I then watched two episodes on Thursday.  The first featured one of my favorite Seinfeld characters, Bob Cobb.  Bob is better known as the Maestro.  The Maestro told Jerry that there were no houses for rent in Tuscany, which of course led to Jerry and Kramer going to Tuscany just to spite him.  The second episode featured Jerry and Kramer switching apartments due to the red neon sign of a new chicken restaurant.  I laughed.

S.W.A.T. (Wednesday Night, CBS)

When this show suddenly came on my television on Wednesday night, I was shocked to discover that it still existed (because, seriously, I figured it had been canceled after one season) and that Shemar Moore is still the most boring man on television.  I would be lying if I said I actually paid attention to the episode, of course.  I had it on for background noise.  I imagine that’s the way many people use this particular show.

Tokyo Olympics Closing Ceremonies (Sunday Night, NBC)

Remember how, last week, I said I was okay with the idea of the United States not winning the most gold medals?  Well, I may have been fooling myself because, when I found out the U.S. had defeated China in the gold medal race on Sunday afternoon, I was incredibly happy and excited!  Congratulations, Team USA!  (Especially those of you who went to the Olympics to try to win, as opposed to just trying to promote your brand or your politics….)

Though I missed a lot of the 2nd week of the Olympics, I did catch the Closing Ceremonies and I found them to be very moving.  This year, more than any other, the International Games truly meant something.  Congratulations to everyone who competed (but especially to the ones who won)!

Upstart Crow (Sunday Night, PBS)

PBS is apparently intent on breaking my heart as it appears that this is the last episode of Upstart Crow that they’re going to broadcast for a while.  Of course, it was also the last episode of the show’s third series.  It was followed by two Christmas episodes but, unfortunately, those episodes don’t appear to be in the show’s American syndication package.  Hopefully, I’m wrong and this will be corrected but, right now, PBS doesn’t have the show on its schedule for next week.  Of course, PBS doesn’t have any of their other regular British sitcoms scheduled for next week, either.  So, we’ll wait and see, I guess.

This week’s episode — wow, where to even start?  It started out as a typical episode of Upstart Crow, with Shakespeare blowing off the confirmation of his son, Hamnet, so that he could attend the first annual London Theatrical Awards.  Shakespeare confidently expected to win because, due to the Plague, his plays were the only ones running.  However, Robert Greene produced a one-night only showing of one of his plays and then paid off the voters so that he swept the awards.  The highlight of the ceremony was not Shakespeare winning (for he won nothing) but instead a tribute to the “late” Kit Marlowe (Kit, who faked his death, attended but told everyone that his name was Kurt) and the caustic hosting of Will Kempe.  It was all very funny, especially if you’re into awards shows.

Empty-handed, Will returned home to Stratford, where he discovered his family in mourning as Hamnet has died, of the Plague, the night before.  Though the agnostic Will did not believe that he would be reunited with his son in Heaven, he pretended that he did to comfort his wife, Anne.  It was a powerfully handled scene, wonderfully written and performed by the entire cast.  It ended the show on a melancholy note but also a historically accurate one.  Hamnet Shakespeare did die at a young age, presumably of the Plague.  The episode’s final scene of Will and Anne sitting silently in their room was sad but also somewhat comforting.  In mourning, they had each other.

Happy Friday the 13th From The Shattered Lens

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Originally, Jeff and I were planning on going up to the lake this weekend.

It’s something that we’ve been wanting to do for a while, just to get away from everything for a day or two. It’s summer in Texas, which means that it’s incredibly hot right now. The lake is awfully inviting in the summer. Originally, we thought we might go last week but I ended up getting sick and spending almost the entire week in bed. So, it made sense to just go this week, right?

Except …. well, did you happen to notice what day it is today?

Listen, at heart, I’m a skeptical person. One reason why horror films don’t bother me is because I don’t believe in ghosts or witches or magic or zombies or death curses or any of that other stuff. I don’t even believe in aliens. I’m not a superstitious person and I have to admit that I always find myself a bit confused whenever I talk to anyone who is. And yet, even I know better than to tempt fate by going up to the lake on the weekend of Friday the 13th. That’s the power of the tale of Jason Voorhees, his mother, and a New Jersey camp called Crystal Lake. Even the most skeptical among us know better than to mess around with Jason. There’s a 99.9% chance that Jason doesn’t exist and, even if he did, he would be way up in New Jersey but still, just the fact that there’s a .1% chance that he might be out there somewhere …. that’s enough to keep me home for the weekend!

With that in mind, Happy Friday the 13th! I’m celebrating by watching the original films, the one that were produced by Paramount Pictures in the 80s. By that, I mean the films that came out before Jason Goes To Hell turned everyone’s favorite hockey masked serial killer into a space slug. Say what you will about these films, they are an undeniable part of our culture and they’re amongst the most influential movies ever made. Personally, I prefer the first film, the 2nd film, and the 4th film. I’ll also defend Friday The 13th: A New Beginning because I enjoy being a contrarian. At its best, the franchise was an American tribute to giallo. At its worst …. well, we’ve all seen Part 3, right?

However you celebrate, stay safe! And maybe we’ll see you up at the lake next week!

(And if you need something to do, be sure to check out this article, full of Friday the 13th trivia, that I wrote a few Friday the 13ths ago!)

Film Review: Falling (dir by Viggo Mortensen)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you’re one of the many people who watched The Father and thought to yourself, “Good movie but I wonder what it would have been like if every character involved had been thoroughly unlikable and one-dimensional,” Falling might be for you.

I almost felt guilty writing that paragraph because Falling is the directorial debut of actor Viggo Mortensen and Mortensen has been very open about how several members of his family have struggled with dementia. He lost both his mother and his father to dementia and he served as his father’s caretaker during the last year of his life. As Falling is film about a man taking care of his father when the latter develops dementia, it’s easy to see that this film is a very personal one for Mortensen. Unfortunately, as both a director and a screenwriter, Mortensen basically leads his story straight into a dead end.

Lance Henriksen plays Willis Peterson, a bigoted and angry old farmer who is being taken care of by his estranged son, John (Viggo Mortensen) and John’s husband, Eric (Terry Chen). John hopes to find Willis a new and nearby place to live so that he and his sister, Sarah (Laura Linney), can check in on him. Willis is occasionally charming in a irascible old man way but, usually, he’s just abrasive, abusive, angry and a bit of a homophobe. He’s also losing his memory, continually forgetting that his wife is dead and talking about all of the ways that John and Sarah disappointed him when they were teenagers.

The film asks whether or not Willis was always an asshole or if he’s just asking like this because he’s suffering from dementia. That would be an interesting question if not for the fact that the film is also full of heavy-handed flashbacks that reveal that, without any doubt, Willis was always an asshole. The problem is that, once you realize that Willis was an unbearable young parent and an unbearable middle-aged crank, it becomes difficult to care much about him once he becomes an unbearable old man. If The Father showed how dementia changes one’s personality and way of looking at the world, the message of Falling seems to be that terrible things also happen to terrible people. And while that’s a certainly true statement, it doesn’t make for a particularly compelling narrative.

One does have to give Mortensen some credit for giving Lance Henriksen a leading role. Henriksen not only looks like he could conceivably by Viggo Mortensen’s father but he does what he can to suggest that, under all of the bluster and the anger and the hateful words, Willis is ultimately a man who is scared because the world is transforming into one that he’s not capable of understanding. That’s a idea that is present in the film almost solely due to Henriksen’s performance and the few scenes that are genuinely interesting to watch are almost all due to his efforts. There’s no winking at the audience during Willis’s many abrasive moments and Henriksen deserves credit for fearlessly and honestly playing a character that most viewers aren’t going to like.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film doesn’t live up to the promise of Henriksen’s performance. The script often feels repetitive and neither Mortensen nor Linney make much of an impression as Henriksen’s children. (Linney, as happens far too often, feels especially wasted, leaving viewers to wonder what happened to the actress who, long ago, gave such a fierce performance in Mystic River.) The scene where Henriksen meets Linney’s children is especially poorly-written and seems to go on forever. It becomes clear that, as a director, Mortensen has a good visual eye but no idea how to build or maintain narrative momentum with a story that centers on characters who are incapable of moving forward.. One watches the film and admires Mortesen’s intentions but emotionally, the whole production feels remote and overly studied. Falling underwhelms.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/1/21 — 8/7/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let me tell you about my week. On Sunday, I started to feel slightly congested. The left side of my face hurt a little whenever I smiled. Since I’ve been vaccinated, I wasn’t terribly worried about it being COIVD or anything like that but still, I did think to myself, “I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come.”

On Monday, I woke up feeling a bit more discomfort, especially on the left side of the my face. After making sure I still had my sense of taste and smell, I thought to myself, “Well, it is allergy season.”

By Tuesday, I was in the throes of a full-blown sinus infection! AGCK! I’m talking fever, fatigue, pain, the whole thing. Fortunately, the really bad part of it only last two days. By Thursday, I started to feel better and, as I sit here typing this on Saturday, I would say that I’m 99% over being sick. That 1% is still there but I’m definitely read to move on.

Anyway, as a result of being ill and medicated, I spent a lot of this week in bed and not a lot of it watching television. (The DVR, however, is now almost full so I’ll have a lot to get caught up on over the next few days.) Here’s some notes on what little I did watch:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Uh-oh, Rene’s been captured by the Communist Resistance! Even worse, LeClerc has been captured alongside him. Now, Rene and LeClerc are bound on a circular saw table and it’s up to Edith, Yvette, Mimi, and Michelle to rescue him. I think Rene may be doomed. We’ll find out next week, I guess.

The Bachelorette (Monday Night, ABC)

Since this season began, there have been rumors about Greg leaving the show right before the finale so I can’t say that I was shocked when, this week, he left the show right before the finale. Greg left because he was upset that Katie refused to say that she loved him while she still had two other men competing for the final rose. Uh, Greg — what show did you think you were on?

Anyway, Greg has left and I imagine Katie will now settle for Blake. It’s funny how often this show seems to end with The Bachelorette settling for her second choice after her first choice either leaves the show or suddenly proves himself to be not the man that she thought he was.

Big Brother (Every Day 24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I’m having a really difficult getting into this season but I’m still writing about the show over at the Big Brother Blog!

Love Island (Weeknights, CBS)

Despite having sworn off this amazingly shallow show, I did watch an episode on Sunday night because I was too lazy to change the channel. That’s right, I admit it. I’m lazy! Anyway, this episode featured the women dancing in lingerie while the men made goofy faces. I like dancing in lingerie so maybe I should have applied to have been on this show. Oh well. Missed opportunities and all.

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

While the town of Boyle celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, Fidelma got married and gave birth at the same time! Unfortunately, Martin also got his heart broken when he traveler girlfriend mysteriously disappeared, leaving behind a note that explained that she and her family had left town because “that’s what we do.” Poor Martin!

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright pretended to be ill in order to get the attention of the local nurse while Granville continued to dream of murder and destruction.

Silk Stalkings (Weekday Afternoons, ZLiving)

On Thursday, I came out of my daze long enough to watch two epiosdes of this show on ZLiving. I have no idea what the plot of each episode was but there were a lot of undressed people, a lot of gunplay, and John O’Hurley appeared in one of them as a wealthy murder victim.

Tokyo Olympics (Every day on every network)

On Sunday, I watched the BMX freestyle competition. Go, BMX Bandits, go!

And that’s it! Seriously, I loved what I saw of the Olympics this year but, once that sinus infection it, I pretty much stopped watching because I was in a bit of a daze. I hear that the U.S. performed slightly below expectations, despite the fact that U.S. athletes won the most overall medals and, as of right now, we’re in 2nd place behind China as far as gold medals are concerned. Usually, as a patriotic American, that would bother me but this year …. eh.

Fortunately, there’s still one more day of coverage to go and I plan to watch as much as I can on Sunday!

Upstart Crow (Sunday Night, PBS)

I loved Sunday’s episode, largely because it dealt with the production of one of my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays, Julius Caesar! It was very interesting to see the show’s version of how Julius Caesar went from being a comedy about Caesar taking a vacation in Kent to being one of Shakespeare’s best historical plays. Of course, along the way, we also had time for Shakespeare to prevent an attempted coup in the theater company and for Kate to once again call everyone out for their foolishness.

Lisa’s Week In Television: 7/25/21 — 7/31/21

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

My viewing this week was pretty much dominated by Big Brother and the Olympics.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, BBC)

This week brought us yet another bizarre episode, this one featuring Herr Flick dressing up as a gypsy to uncover a plot to kill Hitler while Rene dressed up as a fireman to steal the plans to invade Great Britain. Trying to keep track of it all proved a bit difficult but at least Crabtree was there wish everyone a “Good Moaning.”

The Bachelorette (Monday Night, ABC)

The men tell all! The Men (or Women) Tell All is one of the franchise’s greatest traditions, a chance for the rejected to have their say before the finale. Often, it’s a highlight of this season. This year, without Chris Harrison or a similarly experienced host around to guide the conversation, it was pretty dull.

The main things that I learned from watching the men tell all is that 1) none of the men were that interesting this season and 2) The Bachelorette needs to hire a real host to replace Chris Harrison because neither Tayshia nor Kaitlyn have proven themselves to be up to the job. Their inexperience when it comes to interviewing people was obvious during this week’s episode. Whenever any of the men said anything that was the slightest bit unexpected, Tayshia and Kaitlyn just giggled and then move on to the next topic, without asking any follow-up questions. It reminded me of those terrible reunion episodes that used to end every season of Dance Moms. When The Bachelorette is remind me more of a low-budget Lifetime show than America’s number one dating show, that’s a problem.

Big Brother (All Week, CBS and Paramount Plus)

You can read my thoughts on Big Brother at the Big Brother Blog!

Dragnet (Weekday Mornings, MeTV)

On Monday morning, Dragnet got started with an episode in which Friday and Gannon investigated a man who was pretending to be a policeman and a fireman. Though the man was doing good deeds, it was still a crime and he still got sentenced to probation. This was followed by an episode in which Friday and Gannon searched for an aspiring starlet who had gotten caught up in the world of …. smutty films! It turns out that the only thing that Friday and Gannon disliked more than marijuana advocates was the adult film business. Unfortunately, it all ended in tragedy.

Tuesday started off with a rather silly episode in which Friday and Gannon investigated two rival gypsy families. One of the families offered Friday a bribe. Oh, that was a mistake! This was followed by a far more dramatic and effective episode, in which Friday and Gannon investigated a case of child abuse. It was an angry episode about an important subject and, for once, Friday’s moralistic outlook felt appropriate as opposed to out-of-touch.

The first of Wednesday’s episodes found Gannon and Friday interrogating a mob associate on a rainy night. The entire episode was just the interrogation and it was actually handled pretty well. Though the 60s Dragnet was best known for its scenes of Friday lecturing hippies, the best episodes were the ones where Friday and Gannon just did police work and avoided commenting on current events. This was followed by an episode where Friday and Gannon attempted to find a man who had threatened to commit suicide. Again, this was a well-handled episode, one that was sympathetic to those who struggle with depression and anxiety.

Thursday, on the other hand, got started with an episode that featured the type of thing for which Dragnet is best remembered. A bunch of smug hippie teenagers wanted to start their own island nation and they were robbing Los Angeles stores in order to get the supplies to do so. Fortunately, Gannon and Friday were on-hand to lecture them about their civic duty and their lack of practical camping experience before sending them all to juvenile hall. This was followed by an episode in which Friday interviewed police academy applicants and then he and Gannon investigated one applicant’s background, mainly to discover why he had gotten a divorce …. wait, what? It should be noted, though, that investigating the divorce did lead to the discovery of evidence that the applicant should be not be allowed the enter the police academy. Anyway, this was one of those Dragnet episodes were the emphasis was meant to be on how professional the LAPD was. Not everyone can join the department, the episode said, especially not divorced people.

The first of Friday’s episodes featured Joe and Gannon investigating a case of embezzlement. It turned out that the embezzler had a gambling problem! Joe and Gannon were not sympathetic. Such are the wages of greed, I guess. This was followed by an episode with Joe attempted to teach patrol officers about the importance of maintaining good community relationships, even with people who don’t like the LAPD. On the one hand, the show made a good point by directly addressing the fact that cops need to treat all people fairly. On the other hand, a large part of the episode centered around a young black activist learning that the cops weren’t so bad after all. In other words, this episode was the epitome of the type of well-intentioned, middle-of-the-road storytelling that tends to drive activists on both sides of an issue crazy. Still, everything worked out in the end. The activist agreed to pay a traffic fine and the cops agreed not to charge him with resisting arrest.

And that was it for this week!

Moone Boy (PBS, Sunday Night)

As the Moones somewhat reluctantly prepare for Fidelma’s wedding, the peace in Boyle is upset by the arrival of Travelers. The Travelers don’t really do much but, because they’re Travelers, everyone gets a bit paranoid about them, regardless. Martin, of course, develops a crush on one of them. Meanwhile, Dessie asks the priest to be his best man, which leads to “Stag Mass.” It was a funny, if somewhat messy, episode.

Open All Hours (PBS, Sunday Night)

Arkwright and Granville got a van, one with a mattress in back, so that they could pick up hitchhikers. It was a disturbing episode. It’s always been pretty obvious that Granville is one step away from losing it and going on a rampage but this week’s episode suggested that Arkwright might be a bit on the unstable side as well.

Tokyo Olympics (All week, Every Chanel)

On Sunday morning, I watched Spain defeat Serbia in water polo! Because I’m rooting for Spain, I was happy to see the win but water polo still seems like an amazingly silly sport. I then watched a bit of the handball match between Norway and South Korea. Who knew handball could be so intense!? After the handball, I surprised myself even further by getting totally caught up in fencing. I think the reason I liked the fencing is because the uniforms made all of the competitors look like characters from The Purge. That said, I definitely cheered a bit when Lee Kiefer won the gold!

While I didn’t get a chance to watch much of the Olympics on Monday, I made up for that on Tuesday morning by tuning in and watching Japan defeat the United States at softball. And I have to admit that it didn’t really bother me, watching the U.S. lose this event. Japan is hosting the Olympics this year. Softball is reportedly a big sport in Japan and, indeed, one reason why softball was an Olympic event this year was because Tokyo already had a softball field. Japan winning the Gold just felt appropriate. After I watched the softball medal ceremony, I found out about Simone Biles withdrawing from the Games. As I said on twitter at the time, “mental issues” can mean any number of things so instead of judging, the proper response from the beginning was to wish Simone the best for whatever she may be dealing with. Of course, most people did the exact opposite and this week has pretty much been dominated by people offering up terrible takes on Simone Biles, the Olympics, and the pressures of competition.

The over-the-top reaction to the Simone Biles news temporarily turned me off of the Olympics so I didn’t watch on Wednesday. However, I returned on Thursday. I watched the U.S. vs. Turkey in Women’s Volleyball and I have to admit that I soon found myself rooting for Turkey, whose team had more natural talent than the American team. That the American team still won felt like it had more to do with luck than anything else. After the indoor volleyball, it was time for Women’s Beach Volleyball, which featured Canada vs. Brazil. I have to admit that, ever since I finally watched Top Gun last year, it’s been impossible for me to take Beach Volleyball seriously. Jeff and I also watched a bit of Olympic golf.

On Friday night, it was time for more running, more swimming, and more medals! There was also some women’s soccer which …. bleh. I really hope we don’t win the gold this year. I’m sick of being expected to care about soccer.

Saturday, I watched a bit of volleyball and a bit of boxing and a little basketball. I have to admit that basetball has never appealed to me so I ended up watching golf instead. I never though it would happen but golf is winning me over. It’s such a refined and, most importantly, quite sport. No squeaky shoes or yelling, just the sound of golf swings and polite applause.

2021 U.S. Senior Women’s Open (Golf Channel, Sunday Afternoon)

I also like watching golf because I like seeing what all of the courses look like. They’re all very nice and green.

Upstart Crow (PBS, Sunday Night)

Shakespeare and the crew (including the “Artist Formerly Known as Marlowe”) tire of the London fog and head up to Stratford. With everyone getting sick of being stuck indoors together, Shakespeare is inspired to write a romantic comedy. When his wife informs him that his idea for the play (featuring mistaken identities and, of course, a wedding at the end) all sounds like “much ado about nothing,” Shakespeare informs her that he’ll soon have another hit on his hands. Yay, Shakespeare!