Lisa Marie’s Week in Television: 6/5/22 — 6/11/22


Yes, you are seeing this correctly.  I watched next to zero television last week and the only new show that I watched was the latest episode of Barry.  I’ve been busy cleaning around the house, listening to music, and writing this week.  Usually, I use the television for background noise but this week, I listened to music.  It was the right decision, I think.

Here’s a few thoughts on what little I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

With the French Resistance broke and in desperate need of money, Michelle demanded that Rene hand over the painting of the Fallen Madonna With Big Boobies so that the Resistance could sell it.  Unfortunately, Rene had already given the painting to Herr Flick so Michelle suggested that Rene break into Herr Flick’s dungeon and steal it back.  Rene agreed, though his plan was to steal it and then sell it for himself as opposed to the Resistance.  Meanwhile, Herr Flick deal with an official order to stop having sex while on duty and, as newspaper editor, Rene was tasked with helping to select the perfect model for The Spirit of Nouvion.

The important thing, of course, is that nothing worked out and, at the end of the show, the British airmen were still trapped in France,

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

This week’s episode of Barry was …. disquieting.  While Gene filmed his hilariously over-the-top online acting class, Barry struggled to recover from being poisoned and Sally was fired from writing for the sitcom about the Medusas after she was filmed screaming the C-word at her former assistant.  While Barry struggles with his own mortality, Sally seems to be heading for a very, very dark place.

That said, the episode was dominated by Stephen Root and his performance as Fuchces.  Fuches has finally been arrested but, even while sitting in an interrogation room, he still managed to expertly manipulate everyone around him.  He’s like a Southern-version of Hannibal Lecter.  This episode made as a strong a case as any in the show’s history that Stephen Root deserves all the Emmys.

Full House (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

Starting as of late week, MeTV now only shows two episodes of Full House on Sundays and I do have to say that the show is more bearable when you only watch two at a time instead of four.  Last Sunday, Joey took his crappy comedy act to Vegas and he reconciled with his father, who apparently was some sort of general or admiral.  (Shades of Jim Morrison, I suppose.)  In the second episode, DJ developed an eating disorder but, fortunately, all it took was for Danny to say a few understanding words and DJ snapped out of it.  The episode had a good message but it would have been more effective if Aunt Becky had been the one to have the eating disorder talk with DJ.

King of the Hill (Hulu)

I watched three episodes, two on Tuesday and one on Friday.  The two episodes on Tuesday both featured Bobby taking on eccentric hobbies that were nearly ruined by Hank, rose growing and dog dancing.  Friday’s episode was one of my favorites: Minh, Nancy, and Peggy all run for school board and end up losing to the local kooky fundamentalist.

Seinfeld (Netflix)

On Friday, I rather randomly watched an episode where Kramer and George went to the airport to pick up Jerry and Elaine.  Kramer saw his former roommate.  George ended up trapped on a plane with a serial killer.  Jerry got upgraded to first class while Elaine suffered the indignities of flying in coach.  The episode made me laugh but it also made me want to fly somewhere.  But only in first class!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/20/22 — 2/26/22


This week, I devoted a good deal of time to watching the news.  The Russian invasion of Ukraine has been horrifying to watch unfold.  At the same time, the bravery of the people of Ukraine has also been inspiring to witness.

Here’s a few thoughts on everything else that I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

While the Germans continued to search for the stolen gold, Rene reluctantly went through with marrying Edith, despite the fact that he’s really in love with Yvette.  Of course, Rene already was married to Edith but, because everyone in the village was convinced that Rene was actually his twin brother (who, coincidentally, was also named Rene), it was believed that Edith was a widow.  Alphonse even proposed marriage to her and Rene was forced to go through with the second marriage despite the fact that he wasn’t particularly happy with his first.  Got all that?

Meanwhile, Herr Flick sent Helga to try to distract Rene so that …. well, I’m not sure why Herr Flick did that.  I assume that it probably had something to do with recovering the stolen gold.  To be honest, it’s hard to keep track of everyone’s individual motivations.  The important thing is that Crabtree showed up and spoke in his mangled version of French.  Plus, LeClerc showed up, wearing a wet suit and announced, “It is I, LeClerc.”

It made me laugh.  That’s the important thing.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I wrote about the latest leg of the race here!  This was actually probably one of the best episodes in the history of The Amazing Race, with each of the four remaining teams revealing a bit about themselves and their dynamic.  I now like all four of the teams, even Kim & Penn.  I’m thankful that this week’s episode was a non-elimination leg and, as a result, Ryan and Dusty are still in the Race.  The finale is next week!  I am currently rooting for Cayla and Raquel because they remind me of myself and Erin.

Celebrity Big Bother (Paramount Plus and CBS)

It’s over!  I wrote about the final few days of Celebrity Big Brother at the Big Brother Blog!  This was a tough season to watch and I have to admit that there were a few times when I really resented the fact that it existed at all.  In the end, the jury showed zero enthusiasm as they named Meisha the season’s winner.  Todrick Hall pretty much ruined his reputation so that he could be the runner up.  It was not a pleasant season to watch.  Hopefully, this will be the final installment of Celebrity Big Brother.

Friends (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched an episode on Tuesday night.  Rachel was dating Bruce Willis.  Ross was dating Bruce Willis’s daughter.  Chaos ensued.  Ross discovered that Bruce was just as neurotic and nerdy as he was, which was kind of a nice touch.  That said, I do feel like Friends always went a little bit overboard with the celebrity guest stars.

I Survived A Serial Killer (Friday Afternoon, A&E)

I have mixed feelings about this show.  On the one hand, it’s great that the people being interview survived.  On the other hand, it’s kind of disturbing that “serial killer” is one of those terms that apparently brings in the viewers.  I’m as guilty as anyone, of course.  I mean, I ended up watching three episodes of this show on Friday!  It’s just that I worry that we sometimes give serial killers so much attention that we turn them into celebrities.  Serial killers are losers and they should be treated like losers.  Consider someone like The BTK Killer, who coined his own nickname.  He craved attention and he’s still getting it, even though he’s currently sitting in prison.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

12 years after initially being canceled, Law & Order is back for its 21st season!  Returning are Anthony Anderson (on the law side) and Sam Waterston (on the order side).  Camyrn Manheim is the new precinct captain.  Jeffrey Donavon is Anderson’s partner.  Hugh Dancy and Odelya Halevi are the new assistant DAs.

The first episode of this revival was a bit uneven.  It dealt with the murder of a famous singer (played by Norm Lewis) who was obviously meant to serve as a stand-in for Bill Cosby.  The singer had been convicted of rape but his sentence was overturned on a technicality.  He was gunned down outside of his New York townhouse.  Even though he was literally shot in the crotch, it took Anderson and Donavon a while to figure out that the murder was related to his crimes.

Anyway, it turned out that one of his victims was the murderer but Donavon resorted to unethical means to get a confession from her and Dancy, being one of those annoyingly idealistic types, didn’t want to use evidence that he considered to be tainted.  Previous cast member Carey Lowell returned in the role of Jamie Ross but it was a bit of an unsatisfying return because the episode never fully committed to whether or not she knew about the murder in advance or not.

(It was also a bit strange since it had been previously established that Jamie Ross left the DA’s office, became a defense attorney, and was then appointed to a judgeship.  Yet, on this episode of Law & Order, she was once again working for the District Attorney’s office.  No one mentioned anything about her being a former judge, either.  Obviously, it was a continuity error but I still hope the show tries to come up with an in-universe explanation at some point.)

The main problem with the episode was that each of the new characters were basically only given one personality trait.  Donavon was always angry.  Dancy was always conflicted.  There wasn’t much nuance to either one of them and it was easy to get annoyed with both characters.  Meanwhile, poor Odelya Halevi wasn’t really given any personality at all.  Hopefully, next week’s episode will be a bit better.

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Taking a cruise on The Love Boat: David Doyle, Jack Gilford, Matthew Laborteaux, Charles Siebert, Connie Stevens, and Nancy Walker!  Okay, so it wasn’t exactly the greatest group of guest stars but still, I always enjoy seeing episodes of this silly, old show.  It’s all just so pleasantly superficial.

Murderville (Netflix)

On this Netflix show, Will Arnett is Detective Terry Seattle, a tough homicide detective who investigates a different murder every episode.  Each episode also features a new celebrity partner.  Because Seattle isn’t good at his job, it falls on the celeb to solve the murder.  The fun of the show is that it’s largely improvised, so the celeb has to think on their feet while trying not to laugh at the increasingly ludicrous details of each case.  Some celebs are better at this than others.

I watched two episodes on Sunday morning.  Seattle’s first partner was Conan O’Brien.  His second partner was football player Marshawn Lynch.  Conan correctly guessed the murderer.  Marshawn didn’t.  Conan obviously has more experience with improv than Marshawn but Marshawn’s lack of experience mixed with his own enthusiasm made him a bit more exciting to watch.

I enjoyed those first two episodes so much that, a few hours later, I decided to kill some time by watching the next two.  Kumail Nanjiani, to be honest, has gotten a bit too self-important lately but he was still fun to watch in his episode.  The fact that he kept laughing just added to the fun.  Annie Murphy, meanwhile, was brilliant.  I loved the fact that, instead of really paying attention to everything that was going on, she just made up clues.  Both Kumail and Annie correctly guessed who the murderer was.  Kumail, especially, did a good job.  I got the feeling that Annie’s guess was a bit more random but I would probably have done the exact same thing if I had found myself in her situation.  She guessed correctly and that is what was truly important.

I watched the final two episodes on Tuesday.  Sharon Stone and Ken Jeong were the final two guest stars and they were both good in their individual ways.  Stone, being a dramatic actress, tried to give a fairly straight performance, regardless of how strange things got.  Jeong, on the other hand, could not stop laughing and that was actually pretty endearing.  Fortunately, with Jeong’s help, Seattle was able to figure out who murdered his former partner and hopefully, Seattle will now be able to move on with his life.

With all that in mind, here are my Murderville rankings:

  1. Annie Murphy
  2. Kumail Nanjiani
  3. Marshawn Lynch
  4. Conan O’Brien
  5. Ken Jeong
  6. Sharon Stone

All six of them did a pretty good job.  So did Terry, eventually.

The Office (All Week, Comedy Central and Freeform)

I watched three episodes on Monday afternoon: The Injury, Michael’s Birthday, and The Convict.  All three of them were classics.  The Convict features one of my favorite scenes, in which Michael Scott attempted to transform himself into “Prison Mike.”  Then, on Tuesday, I caught the Golden Ticket episode on Freeform.  That’s always been one of my favorites, even if it does involve Michael trying to frame Dwight for coming up with a really terrible promotion.  Indeed, this episode featured Michael being a terrible boss and I’m a little surprised that Dwight was so forgiving.  That said, “Shoe La La” sounded like it had potential.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

The existential horror of working for Arkwright continued for poor Granville.  As usual, the episode ended with Arkwright talking to himself.  What a depressing show!

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

I wrote about the latest episode of Pam & Tommy here!  This week’s episode wasn’t that bad but the show itself continues to feel a bit pointless.  There’s two more episodes left and I really can’t imagine what could possibly be left to say about these people.

Seinfeld (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday night.  In one episode, George lost his keys in a pothole, Kramer adopted a highway, and Elaine moved into a janitor’s closet so she could order food from a restaurant that didn’t deliver to her actual address.  (I hope the duck was worth it!)  The second episode featured George freaking out over an oven fire and tossing an old woman with a walker out of his way as he ran from the apartment.  George survived the fire but he was still nearly killed by an angry clown afterwards.  The main theme of these two episodes appeared to be that New York was a dangerous place to live.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Saturday afternoon, I returned to my Silk Stalkings binge.  The episode that I watched featured a woman who called herself Diana, The Huntress.  She would pick up men and then execute them.  She would also frequently call up a radio station and discuss her crimes.  Fortunately, Chris and Rita were on the case!  It was sordid and enjoyable, as episodes of Silk Stalkings tend to be.

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

The return of The Walking Dead also meant the return of Talking Dead!  Unfortunately, Talking Dead was kind of boring this week.  Chris Hardwicke was as goofy and enthusiastic as ever but this show is just not as much fun when the guests aren’t actually sitting on the couch and dealing with the reactions of a live studio audience.  Without an audience, the energy just feels off.

Twin Peaks (DVD)

Because Thursday was Twin Peaks day, I binge watched the first season of David Lynch’s classic series.  Needless to say, it holds up like a wonderful dream.  Watching the first season with the knowledge that Bobby Briggs was going to eventually grow up to be one of the good guys added a whole new layer to the show.  Unfortunately, the scenes with the young and rebellious Audrey now feel incredibly sad.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I wrote about the mid-season premiere here!  The Reapers may be gone but the Commonwealth is here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/23/22 — 1/29/22


Another week in January essentially means another week of allergies and sneezing.  I watched quite a few movies this week but I also catched a few shows.  When you’re feeling under the weather, it’s sometimes more fun to watch something that’s only going to require 30 minutes of your attention as opposed to 132 of them.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

The show started with Rene nearly blowing up the cafe while trying to hide the stolen land mines and it ended with Herr Flick and Von Smallhousen trapped on a British airplane flying high over occupied France.  Along the way, Crabtree tried to speak French and the British airmen hid in a barrel.  It was all good fun.  I laughed.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!  Switzerland, as I mentioned in my write up, is a beautiful country.  The scenery is gorgeous and the people understand the value of staying on schedule.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

This week on The Bachelor, the women went to group therapy and Clayton continued to try to understand and replicate human behavior.  Seriously, they should just call him the Claytonbot.  I keep expecting him to ask someone why humans laughs and cry.

Bar Rescue (Monday Morning, Paramount TV)

Jon Taffer rescued a karaoke bar.  Yay!  A world without music is not a world for any of us.

Football Game: Buccaneers vs. Rams (Sunday Evening, NBC)

If only both teams could have won!  Seriously, from what I’ve seen of it, football is the most depressing sport ever because the players on the team that doesn’t win always end up sitting there and crying while the other team is celebrating.  That sucks.  If I was the coach, I would make sure that every game ended in a tie so that everyone could be a winner.

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

God, this was a bad show.  I watched the first four episodes of the show on Sunday afternoon.  I felt kind of bad about not liking it but it was just so painfully cutesy.  The first episode of the series featured John Stamos and the goofy guy moving in with John Stamos.  The second episode featured John Stamos and his band trying to practice while two of Bob Saget’s daughters danced around.  (The band sounded terrible.)  The third episode featured …. I don’t even remember.  I know it was during the third or the fourth episode that the school year started.  Candace Cameron was upset about being put in a gifted class.  John Stamos hit on a teacher.  I can’t remember what the goofy one did.

From what I understand, the first four episodes are apparently the show’s highpoint so I can’t imagine what the rest of the series must have been like.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoons, FXX)

I watched three episodes of this classic on Friday.  Things got started with Grillstravaganza, in which Bobby temporarily fell under the influence of Joe Jack.  This was followed by the episode where Mr. Strickland briefly got involved with Luanne’s pool-based bible study group.  And then the final episode I watched featured Hank taking over the middle school’s organic garden.  Anything that featured Hank trying to motivate the apathetic students at the middle school was always funny.  Hank’s work at the organic garden may have been a success but he was still perturbed when he ended up getting added to the mailing list of a hippie food store called Passages.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville discovered that he had a cousin and she used to be able to communicate with the spirit world.  Unfortunately, Granville’s spirit had already been too thoroughly broken for him to take much comfort in that knowledge.

Parking Wars (Monday Morning, A&E)

On Monday morning, as I watched the parking cops go out of their way to harass the citizens of Philadelphia, it occurred to me that most of these episodes were filmed over ten years ago.  I wonder how many of these people still work for the government and how many have retired.  How many are receiving a pension and how many are still walking the sidewalks and saying, “I’m just doing my job here?”  Hopefully, they’re all retired and collecting a pension.  It has to be kind of a sad existence, though.  How does anyone sleep soundly with the knowledge that they were a part of the system?

Seinfeld (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

I watched two episodes on Friday afternoon.  George and Jerry flew out to Hollywood to see Kramer.  kamer, meanwhile, was arrested for being a serial killer.  The real killer was Clint Howard, who was briefly arrested but who escaped police custody after George and Jerry accidentally left the backdoor of a police car unlocked.  It was all kind of dark, to be honest.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Monday, I got back to binging my favorite 90s show about attractive detectives investigating half-naked criminals.  The first episode featured Chris falling for a duplicitous skip tracer who, it turned out, was actually just a hitwoman.  Oh, Chris!  Everyone knows you and Rita are in love!  The next episode featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a vice cop.  They suspected that it may have been a cop-on-cop killing and, of course, it all linked up to Chris’s past.  It was kind of a dull episode, to be honest.  It wasn’t quite trashy enough.  Oh well!

I didn’t return to the show until Thursday.  The first episode I watched opened with the brutal murder of a wealthy married couple.  At first, Chris and Rita thought that the murders had been committed by the couple’s twin sons but eventually, it was discovered that it was actually the work of the maid and a hitman.  That episode was enjoyably sordid.  The episode that followed was a bit less interesting.  Chris and Rita investigated a gang of jewel thieves, one of whom was played by a youngish Tobin Bell.  It was all a bit bland but the chemistry between Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture kept things fun.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 12/19/21 — 12/25/21


Merry Christmas!  Here’s what I watched this holiday week!  It’s a short list because it’s the holidays.  Next week, I’m planning on getting caught up on a few shows before the start of 2022.

A Very Boy Band Holiday (Thursday Night, ABC)

Erin and I watched this two weeks ago.  On Thursday night, we watched it with our other two sisters, Megan and Melissa.  It was fun.  How can’t you love Joey Fatone holding a bunch of boy banders hostage in a Christmas cabin?

A Charlie Brown Christmas (Sunday Night, PBS)

I watched this with my sister.  It’s a tradition!  Be sure to read what Erin wrote about this special and why it’s still important.

Dexter (Sunday Night, Showtime)

It was a good episode this week.  I wrote about it here!

Kelly Clarkson Presents: When Christmas Comes Around (Thursday Night, NBC)

I like Kelly Clarkson.  She’s from Texas and she’s got a helluva voice.

The Love Boat (Sunday Night, MeTV)

On yet another Christmas cruise, there was love and there were laughs.  This time, the overly eager crew hired three separate Santa Clauses.  It cause a bit of trouble but, in the end, everything worked out for the best because there’s always room for multiple Santas!  The other plotline of this episode dealt with a down-on-his-luck comedian who ended up sharing his cabin with an adorable dog, who he adopted at the end of the cruise.  Awwwwwww!

The Office (Friday Morning, Comedy Central)

On Friday morning, my sister Megan and I watched the first three of The Office Christmas episodes.  My favorite is still the first, the one where Michael ruins Secret Santa.  Benihana Christmas is pretty funny as well, though I do think Karen could have tried hard to work with Angela before forming her own rival Party Planning Committee.

Santa Claus is Coming To Town (Thursday Night, ABC)

I watched this classic 1970 animated special with my sisters on Thursday night.  It had actually been a few years since I had last watched this and I was surprised to discover that it was a lot better than I remembered.  The animation was adorable and the voice acting of Mickey Rooney and Fred Astaire holds up surprisingly well.  I’m glad I watched it and I’m even happier that I watched it with my family.

Seinfeld (Weeknights, Comedy Central & Netflix)

A chicken place with a bright red neon sign turned Kramer’s apartment in the Angry Red Planet.  This was followed by an episode in which Kramer got the wrong personalized license plates and suddenly became very popular.  The 90s were a wild time.

On Thursday morning, Jeff & I watched the episode where Kramer returned to his old job making bagels, Elaine tried to get back a card that she could use to get a free submarine sandwich, Jerry dated a woman whose appearance kept changing, and — most importantly — the Constanzas once again celebrated Festivus!

It was a Festivus miracle!

Happy Festivus!


Happy Festivus!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Saturday is Christmas. But today is a Festivus for the Rest of Us! How will you celebrate Festivus? Will you air your grievances or participate in the feats of strength? Festivus may not be for everyone but, for some of us, it’s our heritage.

If you need a reminder about what Festivus is all about, allow Frank Costanza to explain:

Here’s wishing you a merry little festivus!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/12/21 — 12/18/21


Again, I didn’t watch much this week.  I was busy getting ready for Christmas and my boyfriend’s birthday and watching and writing reviews for 2022.  So, not much television this week!  However, here’s a few notes on what little I did watch.

Boxing (ESN, Sunday Night)

Yikes!  I’m not sure who was fighting who but everyone certainly did seem angry.  I have to admit that I do have an odd weakness for the spectacle of men hitting each other but I also cringe whenever the blood starts flowing.  The best thing about boxing is when everyone hugs after the match and you realize that none of it was personal.  Awwwwwww!

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, Sunday Night)

Larry David annoyed a lot of people.  It’s what he’s good at.  Now, I haven’t really been keeping up with this season but, as far as I can tell from watching Sunday’s episode, Larry is sleeping with a really annoying local politician because he’s hoping she’ll change the zoning laws and this somehow will allow Larry to fire an actor who he dislikes.  And apparently, someone drowned in Larry’s pool and now Larry is being blackmailed or something.  (Actually, I kind of got the feeling that maybe Larry killed whoever it was.)  I don’t know.  It was confusing but it was funny just because Larry doesn’t know when to stop.

Dexter: New Blood (Showtime, Sunday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Dexter: New Blood here!

The Love Boat (MeTV, Sunday Night)

There was a definitely lack of Christmas cheer on the Christmas cruise but luckily, Mickey Rooney played an angel who brought everyone together, taught the children how to sing, and saved the marriage of Donnie Osmond and Maureen McCormick.

Mom (Friday Afternoon, Paramount)

I swear, have the people on this show ever met anyone who they didn’t automatically accuse of being an alcoholic?  On Friday, Paramount showed a quartet of depressing Christmas episodes.  Yikes!

Seinfeld (Comedy Central, Sunday Night)

I watched three episodes on Sunday night.  Jerry learned how to express his emotions and George sold computers.  George lost his keys in a pothole and Jerry had a panic attack after a toothbrush fell in a toilet. (Ewwwwww!  I don’t blame him.)  And then George killed his fiancée with toxic envelopes.  Unfortunately, Jerry had just gotten engaged so the tragic end of George’s engagement was a bit awkward for all involved.  Line of the episode: “I can’t be with someone who reminds me of me!  I HATE MYSELF!”

The 70th Miss Universe Pageant (Fox, Sunday Night)

Miss Paraguay should have won.  Also, Steve Harvey needs to get some new material.  I mean, Steve — we know you announced the wrong winner a few years ago.  We’ve moved on.  The only person who keeps bringing this up is you.

SERIOUSLY, STEVE, IT’S OKAY!

Survivor (CBS, Wednesday Night)

I wrote about the season finale of Survivor here!  This was an okay season.  I was happy to have Survivor back but Jeff Probt’s new happy and enthusiastic persona didn’t really work for me.  Of the final three, Xander probably should have won but the jury was a bit bitter so congrats to Erika on her victory!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television 10/24/21 — 10/30/21


Needless to say, this week was more about movies than it was about TV.  Here’s what I did watch.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

“Some you may be wondering what I am doing in my office, bricking myself up.”  Oh, Rene …. I’m sure you have a good reason.  In this case, it was because Rene was concerned that the Germans were looking to arrest him.  It’s far more probable that Rene just wanted an excuse to get away from all of the drama in the cafe.  Eventually, Michelle showed up to give Rene both a medal to honor his bravery and a suicide pill for him to take once he was captured.  Fortunately for Rene but unfortunately for the Resistance, the attempt to send all of the German generals to England failed and Rene was in the clear.  The Resistance took back both the suicide pill and the medal.

Eventually, this all led to Rene pretending to be a member of the clergy, Michelle pretending to be in love with Rene, Mimi pretending to be s baby, Herr Flick also pretending to be a baby, and a group of Italian soldiers running around the village with bayonets.

It was all very odd but rather funny.

Dancing With The Stars (Monday Night, ABC)

It was horror night!  All of the dances went pretty well, in my opinion.  I did have to smile a bit at the dance that was described as being “an homage to The Purge,” as if the Purge is some decades-old classic.  And I groaned when one of the dancers said he was “dressed as Hellraiser,” when he was clearly dressed as Pinhead.  JoJo’s It-inspired dance was good.  The judges were too hard on Melora Hardin.  To be honest, the judges remain the worst part of this show.

Degrassi: The Next Generation (DVD)

I watched the classic Breakfast Club episode from season 3 and I wrote about it here!

Fear the Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I reviewed the latest episode here!

Firing Line (Sunday Night, PBS)

On this public affairs show, Margaret Hoover was interviewing a woman who was very concerned about Donald Trump’s policies.  It was a new episode but no one was interested in talking about Joe Biden’s policies.  In its way, this episode was actually a perfect reflection of what politics is like in America right now.  We have a president that few people take seriously and an ex-president who everyone either fears or loves.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

Discovering this series has been one of the true pleasures of this year’s horrorthon.

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Sunday Night, PBS)

Erin and I watched this classic on Sunday.  Two years ago, Erin wrote an essay about why we love this special and it’s still relevant today.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright’s attempt to set up a mobile food truck nearly killed Grandville.  All of the neighbors were, as usual, upset at being inconvenienced.  No one seemed to have too much of a problem with Grandville nearly dying.  Poor Grandville.

Seinfeld (Every Day, Comedy Central)

I watched two episodes on Friday.  One featured Jerry dating a Miss America contestant and Elaine getting a job with a cranky old man.  The other featured Elaine ordering a “Big Salad.”  I relate to Elaine.  Big salads are the best!

Survivor 41 (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Toy Story of Terror (ABC, Thursday Night)

Erin and I watch this Halloween special every year.  Though it may not bring me to tears like the movies do, it’s still nice to see all of the toys together and looking out for each other.

The Walking Dead: World Beyond (Sunday Night, AMC)

I’ve actually reached the point where I’ve gone from being totally indifferent to kind of liking this show.  The idea of teenagers trying to enjoy their youth in a world that will probably not allow them to grow old is actually more compelling than I thought it would be.  Plus, it’s not quite as slow as the other two Walking Dead shows.  I still spend a good deal o this show feeling confused but still, it does mange to consistently hold my interest for the hour that it’s on.  That may be a long-winded compliment but …. well, so be it.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/8/21 — 8/14/21


I’m healthy again this week, at least physically.  (I’m stressed out mentally but that’s a story for another time.)  Here’s what I watched:

Allo Allo (PBS, Sunday Night)

It appeared that Rene and LeClerc were about to executed by the Communist Resistance until it was discovered that Denise, the leader of the communists, was Rene’s “childhood love.”  So now, Rene has to marry Denise, despite the fact that he’s already married to Edith.  Meanwhile, the two British airmen decided to surrender themselves to the Germans but they could not find an officer to surrender to and surrendering to an enlisted man just wouldn’t be the right thing to do.  So, they ran off to search for Officer Crabtree.

It was a chaotic but funny episode, as they tend to be.

The Bachelorette (ABC, Monday Night)

This week was the finale of The Bachelorette!  Still mourning the loss of Greg, Katie got engaged to Blake.  In fact, she basically just told Justin to go home so that she and Blake could spend all of their time together.  For all the talk about how Katie was all about ending drama, this was certainly a messy season and it only got messier when Blake met Katie’s mother and her aunt.  Her mom actually had some intelligent things to say and was right to be skeptical.  Katie’s aunt was perhaps the scariest person to ever appear on The Bachelorette and it was hard not to feel that her main concern was just making sure that Katie would forever be as miserable as everyone else in the family.  Katie and Blake got engaged in the desert, in a ceremony that was so pretentious that …. well, Katie and Blake are both fairly pretentious so I guess it was appropriate.

I watched the episodes with my girls, Evelyn, Emma, and Amy, and a bottle of wine.  Between the four of us, a lot of snarky and unrepeatable comments were made towards the television on Monday night.  That’s really the only right way to watch the finale of any season of the Bachelorette.  Admittedly, I’m not much of a drinker, which is another way of saying that a little Chardonnay puts me flat on my ass.  Evelyn says that I was drunk before I finished my first glass.  Personally, I think it was probably more like two glasses.  The point is that this messy show is the only thing that ever drives me to drink.

As we watched Katie scream at Greg at the reunion show, we all agreed that Katie is still in love with him and that she only got engaged to Blake as a sort of rebound revenge thing.  It was interesting to watch Katie literally transform into the villain of her season before our eyes.  If Blake and Katie break up (which they will), will Blake appear on a fourth season of the Bachelorette?  I guess we’ll find out.  Have they broken up already?  I don’t know, I was dealing with a sip of Chardonnay

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Bar Rescue (Sunday, Paramount TV)

I watched an episode of this on Sunday morning, while I was trying to work up the strength to get out of bed and start my day.  Actually, since I wasn’t wearing my contacts or my glasses, I didn’t so much watch it as I listened to it while squinting.  Taffer was yelling at some blurry guy who I guess owned a fetish bar of some sort.

Big Brother (All the time, CBS and Paramount Plus)

Yep, I’m still watching this and writing about it over at the Big Brother Blog.

Court Cam (Wednesday Day, A&E)

I only had this show on for background noise while Windows was doing an update.  At this point, it seems like they’ve repeated every episode of Court Cam at least a hundred times.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen Amber Guyger received a hug from Botham Jean’s brother before going to prison.

Fantasy Island (Tuesday Night, FOX)

Fox’s Fantasy Island reboot premiered this week and the first episode was stylish but also a bit predictable and, dare I say it, a little dull.  Roselyn Sanchez seems like a good choice to play the proprietor of Fantasy Island but it’s already easy to see that the show, much like last year’s attempt to turn Fantasy Island into a film franchise, is probably going to get bogged down in its own mythology.

Fasten Your Seat Belts (Wednesdays, A&E)

Originally, I was pretty skeptical of this show, which is made up footage of people acting either silly or crazy at airports and on airplanes.  But the two episodes that I watched on Wednesday morning were actually kind of cute.  It helps that Robert Hays is a very charming host.

Friends (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched an episode on Monday.  Chandler and Monica returned from their honeymoon, convinced they had made new friends, just to discover that they had been given fake numbers.  (Chandler was particularly shocked as all he did during the entire honeymoon was “joke and joke and joke!”)  That was just the B-plot, though.  The main plot was Ross and Rachel again trying to figure out who was responsible for their latest tryst.  It was a cute episode, featuring Joey’s “western Europe” story.

I watched another episode on Thursday, this one featuring Monica obsessing on whether or not the maid had stolen her clothes.  Needless to say, both she and Chandler went a bit overboard in their investigation and they were soon left without a maid.  The debate over whether or not the maid had stolen Monica’s pink bra — which Monica later discovered that she was actually wearing at the time — was one that I could relate to, as Erin and I have had similar debates and oddly, many of them have centered on a pink bra.  It’s a cute bra and I’m pretty sure that I’m the one who bought it.  My sister disagrees.

Hell’s Kitchen (Monday Night, FOX)

After taking two weeks off for the Olympics, Hell’s Kitchen returned this week with an episode in which Hell’s Kitchen hosted a charity dinner.  Needless to say, it was a disaster and Victoria’s dream of being head chef at Gordon Ramsay Steak came to an end.  Why does Chef Ramsay always agree to allow charities to hold events at the restaurant?  It’s always a disaster.

Kids Behind Bars: Life or Parole (Tuesday Night, A&E)

As the result of a Supreme Court decision, prisoners who were sentenced to life imprisonment when they were juveniles are being given new sentences and, of course, A&E is there to record every dramatic and heart-wrenching moment.  It all feels a bit exploitive, of course.  I watched two episodes, both of which were painfully heavy-handed as far as who the cameras focused on and on whose pain was considered to be more important, the victim or the victimizer.  A&E undoubtedly gets good ratings from shows like this but they still leave you feeling icky after the finish.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (Weekday Morning, Channel 33)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday morning.  The first episode was memorable because there were two possible fathers and both of them looked exactly like Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman.  The second episode featured a married couple that was being driven apart by accusations of infidelity.  No one drags out reading DNA test results like Judge Lake.

Lonesome Dove (Wednesday Night, DVD)

I’ve been watching this classic 1990 miniseries with the #WestWed live tweet group, hosted by Matthew Titus.  I watched the first two episodes this week.  It’s the story of a cattle drive during the dying days of the old west, featuring great performances from Tommy Lee Jones, Diane Lane, Chris Cooper, Fredric Forrest, and especially Robert Duvall.  Even Steve Buscemi showed up during the second episode!

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

There’s a chance that Moone Boy might be leaving PBS’s schedule next week.  If so, this week’s episode was a good one to go out on.  When Liam and Debra go on a anniversary vacation to the beach, Martin and Padriac head down to Dublin (“where the streets all have names,” we’re told) to stay with Martin’s uncle.  When we last Uncle Danny, he was pretending to be a roadie with U2.  However, in this episode, Danny is honest about his profession as an encyclopedia salesman.  Through a series of events too complicated to explain in a capsule review, Martin and Padriac spend the week selling encyclopedias while Liam is tempted by an ex-girlfriend who happens to be at the same resort as he and Debra.  It was funny, sweet, and just silly enough to be effective.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright got a dog to protect the shop while Granville feared that he might be the father of Maureen’s baby.  Silly, Granville!  You have to have sex with someone to get them pregnant and that’s definitely something Granville’s never done.

Seinfield (Weeknights, CBS)

I watched two episodes on Sunday.  I relate so much to Elaine Benes.  During the first episode, she went hoarse after spending all night yelling at a barking dog.  (Like I said, I can relate.)  During the second episode, she worked with a potentially psychotic co-workers and still managed to put out the latest edition of the J. Peterman catalogue on schedule.

I then watched two episodes on Thursday.  The first featured one of my favorite Seinfeld characters, Bob Cobb.  Bob is better known as the Maestro.  The Maestro told Jerry that there were no houses for rent in Tuscany, which of course led to Jerry and Kramer going to Tuscany just to spite him.  The second episode featured Jerry and Kramer switching apartments due to the red neon sign of a new chicken restaurant.  I laughed.

S.W.A.T. (Wednesday Night, CBS)

When this show suddenly came on my television on Wednesday night, I was shocked to discover that it still existed (because, seriously, I figured it had been canceled after one season) and that Shemar Moore is still the most boring man on television.  I would be lying if I said I actually paid attention to the episode, of course.  I had it on for background noise.  I imagine that’s the way many people use this particular show.

Tokyo Olympics Closing Ceremonies (Sunday Night, NBC)

Remember how, last week, I said I was okay with the idea of the United States not winning the most gold medals?  Well, I may have been fooling myself because, when I found out the U.S. had defeated China in the gold medal race on Sunday afternoon, I was incredibly happy and excited!  Congratulations, Team USA!  (Especially those of you who went to the Olympics to try to win, as opposed to just trying to promote your brand or your politics….)

Though I missed a lot of the 2nd week of the Olympics, I did catch the Closing Ceremonies and I found them to be very moving.  This year, more than any other, the International Games truly meant something.  Congratulations to everyone who competed (but especially to the ones who won)!

Upstart Crow (Sunday Night, PBS)

PBS is apparently intent on breaking my heart as it appears that this is the last episode of Upstart Crow that they’re going to broadcast for a while.  Of course, it was also the last episode of the show’s third series.  It was followed by two Christmas episodes but, unfortunately, those episodes don’t appear to be in the show’s American syndication package.  Hopefully, I’m wrong and this will be corrected but, right now, PBS doesn’t have the show on its schedule for next week.  Of course, PBS doesn’t have any of their other regular British sitcoms scheduled for next week, either.  So, we’ll wait and see, I guess.

This week’s episode — wow, where to even start?  It started out as a typical episode of Upstart Crow, with Shakespeare blowing off the confirmation of his son, Hamnet, so that he could attend the first annual London Theatrical Awards.  Shakespeare confidently expected to win because, due to the Plague, his plays were the only ones running.  However, Robert Greene produced a one-night only showing of one of his plays and then paid off the voters so that he swept the awards.  The highlight of the ceremony was not Shakespeare winning (for he won nothing) but instead a tribute to the “late” Kit Marlowe (Kit, who faked his death, attended but told everyone that his name was Kurt) and the caustic hosting of Will Kempe.  It was all very funny, especially if you’re into awards shows.

Empty-handed, Will returned home to Stratford, where he discovered his family in mourning as Hamnet has died, of the Plague, the night before.  Though the agnostic Will did not believe that he would be reunited with his son in Heaven, he pretended that he did to comfort his wife, Anne.  It was a powerfully handled scene, wonderfully written and performed by the entire cast.  It ended the show on a melancholy note but also a historically accurate one.  Hamnet Shakespeare did die at a young age, presumably of the Plague.  The episode’s final scene of Will and Anne sitting silently in their room was sad but also somewhat comforting.  In mourning, they had each other.

Lisa’s Week In Television: 7/11/21 — 7/17/21


Twonky

Another week, another collection of television shows!  Here’s what I watched this week.  As you may notice, there’s not a lot.  This week turned out to be an unexpectedly busy one.  Perhaps next week I’ll finally be able to get caught up with everything.  Here’s hoping!

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Alllo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

At this point, I’m not even sure that I remember why Herr Flick was chained up in that dungeon but the Resistance and a reluctant Rene got him out of there on this week’s episode.  Meanwhile, Officer Crabtree was still incapable of mastering the French language and the English airmen were still hiding in barrels and responding to everything by saying, “Jolly good show, old boy.”

Upon doing some research, I discovered this week’s episode was actually the first episode of the show’s 5th season.  Because there was apparently some interest from American broadcasters about perhaps bringing the show to the U.S. or doing an American version of it, the 5h season had 26 episodes and were designed so that commercial breaks could be inserted, just in case the show ever did appear on an American network.  As such, much of this week’s episode was designed to fill potentially new viewers in on who everyone was and how they were related to each other.  Needles to say, it was all a bit frantic but still funny.

bachelorette 2021

The Bachelorette (Monday Night, ABC)

This week, Katie challenged the men to see who could go the longest without masturbating.  I’m not sure how that’s supposed to help her find a husband or how that goes along with the whole idea that Katie is supposed to be the sex positive bachelorette who is going to help this franchise get with the modern era.  It was all pretty dumb.

Anyway, this week, Katie declared for the 100th time that she doesn’t have any interest in any drama and then she dramatically sent Hunter home.

Big Brotehr 23

Big Brother 23 (Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday, CBS)

I’ve watched every season of this show and I’ve achieved every writer’s dream of getting paid to write about and yet, it’s something that I rarely brag about.  You can read my current thoughts about the show and the live feeds over at Big Brother Blog.

Dragnet

Dragnet (Weekday Mornings, MeTV)

I forgot to see the DVR to record the two episodes that aired on Monday morning.  It happens and since Dragnet wasn’t a serialized show, missing two episodes doesn’t make it any more or any less difficult to follow the rest of the series.

I did remember to set the DVR for the rest of the week, however.  Tuesday got started with an episode in which Friday and Gannon dealt with a teenage genius who had a rebellious and homicidal streak.  Despite getting a warning after throwing a beaker of acid at a jock, he later decided to hold an entire party hostage with a grenade!  Friday and Gannon agreed that it was all the fault of parents who don’t teach their kids to respect authority.  While it was easy to roll my eyes at some of the more didactic parts of the episode, it was interesting to see how this 1968 show foreshadowed many of the subsequent school shootings that would follow.  As well, the episode ended with a Spaghetti western-style stand-off between Gannon, Friday, and Grenade Boy, which was actually pretty well executed.  This was followed by an episode in which Friday shot and killed a man robbing a store and was subsequently subjected to an investigation by the police’s “shooting board.”  As with many early episodes of Dragnet, the emphasis was on the process.  As someone who has seen her share of cop shows, it’s weird to see something Dragnet where everyone brags about how they go “by the book.”  There’s no room for any renegades on this show!

Wednesday featured Friday and Gannon going undercover to catch a couple of hotel con artists who were pretending to be cops.  I love episodes where Friday and Gannon go undercover because it’s not like either one of them ever makes much of an effort to change their behavior or appearance.  They don’t take off or even loosen their ties.  They still sound, look like, talk like, and act like cops,  But, because all of the criminals in L.A. in 1968 were apparently really stupid, no one ever notices.  This was followed by an episode about a bank robber whose M.O. was to abduct innocent women and force them to help him carry out his crimes.  At the end of the episode, he attempted to abduct a karate instructor and Friday and Gannon pulled up just in time to see her kicking his ass.  Yay!

The first of Thursday’s episodes opened with Gannon telling Friday that “there’s a football game on the old tube,” and that Friday was welcome to come over and watch it.  Friday agreed but, once they arrived at Gannon’s place, it turned out that Gannon’s neighbors were just as annoying as any everyday criminal.  The main lesson here seemed to be that Friday and Gannon acted exactly the same off-duty as they did on-duty and that Friday was just as stiff and formal at home as in the office.  This was followed by an episode in which Friday and Gannon attempted to track down a sergeant who, as a result of burn-out and general depression, had developed a drinking problem.  Friday and Gannon help him see the errors of his way, largely by telling him to drop the self-pity act.

Finally, Friday started out with an episode in which Joe and Gannon arrested a veteran burglar named Charles Smith.  Charles Smith was a courtly senior citizen but he still had to go to jail.  He didn’t seem to mind, however.  It was all a part of the job.  The second episode featured Joe and Gannon fighting the evils of …. you guessed it …. MARIJUANA!  These are the type of episodes that Dragnet is known for, the episodes where a grim-faced Joe debated long-haired draft dodgers who thought smoking marijuana and otherwise breaking the law was no big deal.  And it’s true that this episode — called The Big High — had its share of campy moments.  Just hearing Joe explain that “dealers say smoking marijuana is like heaven but the users discover its Hell,” was enough to make me laugh out loud.  It was also hard not to laugh at the scene where a clueless, pot-loving suburbanite told Joe and Gannon that, “Once the young people cut their hair, put on a suit, and start voting, marijuana will be legal!,” just for Gannon to confidently reply, “I don’t think so.”  The show ended with that suburbanite’s toddler drowning in a bathtub because her stoned parents forgot about her, a scene that perhaps would have been more effective if not for the total overacting of the actor playing the stoned father.  It was all pretty melodramatic but, to be fair, it was also rather sincere.  As opposed to something like Reefer Madness, you got the feeling that Dragnet actually did believe in what it was saying, even if the show was totally clueless about the effects of drugs or the lifestyle of anyone under the age of 50.  The final shot, of Jack Webb’s Joe Friday crushing a baggie of weed in his hands was handled well, even if the show’s insistence on solely blaming marijuana seemed to kind of let the dumbass parents off the hook.

Hell's Kitchen

Hell’s Kitchen (Monday Night, Fox)

Poor Kevin!  As hard as he tried, he just couldn’t get it together during service and Chef Ramsay kicked him out of the kitchen and off the show before the final order was even served.  I imagine the same thing would happen to me if I was ever on Hell’s Kitchen.  I’d probably survive a few nights based on my charm but eventually, I’d get kicked out during the middle of an episode.  I would cry and cry, too.  It’s probably a good thing that I’ve never been on the show.

intervention

Intervention (Monday Night, A&E)

Elann had a drinking problem but then she faced an intervention and got help.  As the show came to an end, she talked about how much better she was feeling about life.  Then a title card appeared that informed us that, after getting sober, Elann still struggled with depressing and took her own life in 2019.  It was heart-breaking and a reminder that getting sober is important but it’s not a magic cure-all.

Elann’s episode was followed by one featuring Caitlin, who was addicted to crack cocaine. “Crack is my boyfriend,” she said.  This episode was hard for me to watch because I’ve known many people like Caitlin, who was obviously very intelligent but also very defensive and angry.  Unfortunately, Caitlin relapsed after getting treatment and, at the show’s end, was described as “living on the streets.”

moone_boy_title

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

On a special Halloween episode of Moone Boy, Martin and Padraic built a raft, which they planned to sail into town so that they could “freak everyone out.”  Needless to say, the river did not cooperate and they instead ended up on an island with a castle and an eccentric caretaker.  Meanwhile, Martin’s mother defended the right of her daughter to be a reader at Mass despite being pregnant and unmarried.  She also impressed the priest with her knowledge of Simon and Garfunkel trivia.  It was a good episode.

The Office

The Office (All The Time, Comedy Central)

On Tuesday night, I watched several episodes from season 6.  Admittedly, season 6 is not my favorite season, as it featured the terrible storyline where Jim was co-manager and a lot of nonsense about Sabre.  Season 6 was when The Office started to get noticeably cartoonish.  That said, a cartoonish Office is still better than a lot of other sitcoms out there and it was nice to rewatch Jim and Pam’s wedding.

open-all-hours

Open All Hours (PBS, Sunday Night)

This week, I decided to pay attention the plot as opposed to just focusing on Granville’s quickly decaying sanity.  Apparently, Arkwright — a man in his 60s — had never seen his girlfriend’s bedroom and he decided that the best way to fix that would be to fake a burglary.  Granville went along with the plan, presumably because it was either do that or continue to fantasize about murdering the entire town.

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Seinfeld (Weeknights, Channel 33)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday night, one of which featured Jerry indirectly getting Babu deported and the second of which was the classic Festivus episode.  I preferred the second episode.

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Upstart Crow (Sunday Night, PBS)

Ever since I first started watching Upstart Crow, I wondered how this comedy would deal with the tragic death of Christopher Marlowe, who is portrayed on the show as being Shakespeare’s free-loading, hedonistic best friend.  This week, I discovered that handled it by having Marlowe fake his own death.  Yay!  Marlowe lives!  As well, as Kate pointed out, with Marlowe believed dead, that meant no one would ever try to promote any weird theories about Marlowe secretly writing all of Shakespeare’s plays.  If only Kate were right!

(Seriously, the Shakespeare-Didn’t-Write-His-Plays people are the worst.  And no, I don’t care what Derek Jacobi has to say on the matter.)

The other major development this week was that Shakespeare wrote out the outline for a play to be called Hamlet.  However, when he tried to explain the plot to his colleagues, they all assumed it was a comedy.  When they heard about Ophelia drowning in the duck pond, they asked Shakespeare if they could have a duck on stage.  Will was not amused.  And yet, as silly as this show is, it’s hard not to think that it probably does get more right than it gets wrong.  Shakespeare is such a mythic name that it’s easy to forget that he was once just a playwright trying to make a living off of his writing.  Every classic work of art started as a rough draft and was probably dismissed, out-of-hand, by people who should have known better.  Upstart Crow is a good reminder of that fact.

Twonky

Lisa’s Week In Television: 6/6/21 — 6/12/21


Twonky

I’m a little bit late in posting my week in television.  That’s because it’s been a long week, both in television and out!  Here’s  some thought on what I watched:

allo-allo

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

On Sunday’s episode, with Rene back at the café and Maria in Switzerland, a new waitress was hired.  Recommended by the Resistance, Mimi LaBonq was just as short as Maria and, it would appear, just as obsessed with Rene.  She was also just a bit more homicidal than Maria, attempting to poison Herr Flick and later beating up an Italian officer.  While Mimi was attempting to kill people (albeit bad people), LeClerc was delivering Rene’s new radio and Michelle of the Resistance was insisting that she would “only say this once.”  And, as always, it was all a hundred times funnier than it sounds.

Having watched enough episodes, I can now see that the humor of Allo Allo really does come down to the fact that everyone has such a bizarrely idealized view of Rene.  “This is the bravest man in France!” Michelle will announce while Rene scurries behind the bar and tries not to get spotted.  The absurd cluelessness of everyone involved is never less than fascinating.

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The Bachelorette 17 (Monday Night, ABC)

Yes, we’re doing this again.  Katie Thurston is the latest bachelorette and Chris Harrison is no longer the host.  While I can understand Katie’s decision not to keep the creepy RV guy around, I wish she had because, judging by last night’s episode, this show could really have used a dose of that weird energy.

Baywatch

Baywatch (Weekdays, H&I)

Life on the beach continues, though I do have to say that appears that, in its later seasons, Baywatch started to frequently repeat itself.  How many time can the exact same thing happen to the exact same lifeguards?

On Sunday, lawyer and former lifeguard Craig Pomeroy returned to Baywatch so he could defend the right of one of his clients to die on the beach.  Once his client did die, Craig was free to once again become a lifeguard so I guess it’s good that the old man hired probably the only lawyer in the world who was probably for the opportunity to switch careers and take a massive pay cut.  This was followed by an episode in which a woman disappeared into the ocean because Cody left his lifeguard tower early.  This would seem like a massive dereliction of duty but the show suggested it was no big deal because it was Cody as opposed to some random lifeguard.  Everyone loves Cody!

On Monday, Caroline returned to Baywatch and got held hostage by a criminal.  How many times has this happened to Caroline?  It used to happen frequently to her sister as well so I guess it’s a Holden family trait.  This was followed by an episode in which Craig and April got trapped in a sunken power station.  They survived and it looks like there might romance in the air, despite Craig being in his late 40s and April being 18.

The romance continued on Tuesday, when Manny broke up with April and Craig helped to capture a bunch of reckless jet skiers.  Though April asked Craig to take her to a charity dinner, Craig eventually convinced Manny to take her instead because, again, Craig is like nearly 100 and April is 18.  This was followed by an episode where Cody was trapped underwater and had to be rescued …. wait a minute, didn’t the exact same thing just happen to April and Craig!?  Neely also admitted that she was hooked on pain pills that the real reason she took a leave of absence from Baywatch was so she could have a baby.

On Wednesday, the first episode featured Lani losing her hearing.  Fortunately, she got it back at the end of the second episode because no problem ever lasts longer than two episodes.  During the first episode, Mitch met a woman who was riding a horse across the beach.  In the second episode, cop Garner Ellerbee returned to capture some drug dealers and he als rode a horse across the beach.

On Thursday …. well, who knows?  Cody made the mistake of betting Mitch’s new boat as a part of some silly competition, which is something that I’m pretty sure Logan did at some point during the show’s first two seasons.  During the second episode, Mitch rescued a swimmer who may been sick, which again is something that happened frequently in the past.  As a result, all of Baywatch had to be quarantined!  Only Newman could work the beach, which meant he got to save a bunch of models who were posing for the …. ahem …. new Barbara’s Boutique Catalogue.

Friday was a weird two-part episode.  As occasionally happens when an old show is airing on the retro channels, the show suddenly skipped over a handful of episodes and we jumped, without warning, into the future.  All new opening credits!  All new cast intros, with several regulars now missing!  Suddenly, Mitch was married to Neely and Neely was played by an entirely different actress!  Anyway, the marriage didn’t last because it turned out that Neely was lying about seeing her ex in Alaska (?).  I guess maybe it all would have made sense if the episodes had been shown in their proper order but …. oh well!  The main thing is that Neely and Mitch were no longer married at the end of it all and Neely was no longer a part of Baywatch.

On Saturday, Mitch was stalked and held hostage by a psycho babysitter.  Didn’t that happen to Mitch at least once a year?

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The Brady Bunch Variety Hour (YouTube)

I watched the first episode of this 1977 TV series.  The Brady Bunch sings!  Fake Jan turns out to be more likable than Real Jan!  Peter Brady conspires to replace his father with Tony Randall!  Donnie and Marie Osmond stopped by!  Clowns swam underwater!  The entire family and Alice the maid did the Hustle!  It was …. well, it was something.

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Cellmate Secrets (Monday Night, A&E)

On this new Lifetime/A&E show, cellmates of infamous criminals talk about what it was like living with a temporary roommate.  This week, I learned that Casey Anthony was apparently manipulative and heartless.  Shocker!

Show Boxing

Championship Boxing — Wilder vs Fury (Showtime Extreme, Friday Morning)

This was a boxing match from 2018.  I’m not really a boxing fan, though I do like to see what everyone in the crowd is wearing.  The match was between Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder and it ended in a draw.  Personally, I wish they both could have won.  I cringed every time I saw a punch land to the head.  That can’t be good!

At one point, during the fight, one of the announcers pointed out that “The Black Panther is in the crowd,” and the camera cut to Chadwick Boseman talking to Mario Lopez in the audience.

Cheaters

Cheaters (MTV2, Friday Morning)

I watched three episodes of Cheaters on Friday morning, from two to three-thirty.  Unfortunately, the guide didn’t list what year they were from but Joey Greco was hosting and, just from the fashion choices made by some of the cheaters, I’m going to guess the episodes were from 2009 or 2010.  Cheaters is, in many ways, a terrible show but it’s also a Dallas-based production so I’m happy it’s out there.  One of my favorite things about Cheaters is that the cheaters often get busted at places that I’ve actually been to.  I’m like, “I’ve been to that restaurant!”

Anyway, all three episodes featured cheaters who didn’t show enough contrition upon getting caught.  Joey Greco’s self-righteous commentary was hilariously overwrought.  All in all, this is a show for the entire family.

court-cam

Court Cam (Wednesdays, A&E)

The judges were all sarcastic.  The defendants were unrepentant.  To be honest, the main thing I remember was that someone in the gallery kept yelling at the accused criminals because he didn’t think their bail was high enough.

degrassi minis

Degrassi Minis (YouTube)

Degrassi Minis was a series of 5-minute short films about Degrassi!  They typically had titles like “What if Jimmy could walk?” or “What if Craig married Ashley?”  They presented an alternate reality to the show’s reality and they were often disturbing as Hell.  I watched “What if Jimmy hadn’t gotten shot?,” which featured Jimmy getting a basketball scholarship while a bitter Sean watched from his wheelchair.  So, I guess if Rick Murray hadn’t shot Jimmy, he would have shot Sean?  But, in the “real world,” it was pretty much established that the main reason Rick brought the gun to school was to specifically shoot Jimmy, whom he incorrectly believed has been behind the plot to bully him.  So, if he couldn’t shoot Jimmy, why would he then go after Sean, a character who he didn’t even know?  Why not go after the other people who he thought were in on the plot?

In short, this mini made no sense but both Daniel Clark and Stacey Farber gave good performances as Sean and the ever-loyal Ellie.  Seriously, even in the alternate timeline, Ellie didn’t get enough credit for putting up with everyone’s crap.

friends

Friends (Weeknights, Channel 33)

On Tuesday’s episode, Ross adapted a British accent while teaching and he didn’t both to let Rachel know that he hadn’t actually gotten their Vegas wedding annulled, which was kind of messed up to be honest.  On Wednesday, Joey agreed to keep an eye on someone’s Porsche.  Joey soon started to pretend that it was his Porsche.  It was kind of a stupid storyline but the criminally underrated Matt LeBlanc did a great job selling it.

Hell's Kitchen

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Monday Night)

Chef Ramsay’s attempt to mentor Generation Z chefs hit a snag on Monday night when one of the chefs imitated Ramsay getting mad about a dish being undercooked.  The problem was that the dish was undercooked and the chef in question was one who had undercooked it.  Can you guess who ended up going home at the end of service?

intervention

Intervention (Monday Night, A&E)

As I’ve said previously, I always have more sympathy for the druggies than I do for the drunks.  On Monday night, Pam struggled with both drugs and alcohol so my feelings were mixed.  Still, she went to rehab and appeared to be doing better at the end of the show so good for her.

Last Man Standing

Last Man Standing (Sunday, Newsnation)

There are certain shows that just make perfect background entertainment.  These are the shows that you have on television while you’re doing something like cleaning the house or trying to organize your movies.  They keep you from getting overwhelmed by silence but, at the same time, they don’t really demand your attention.  Most of these shows tend to be sitcoms and rather old-fashioned sitcoms at that.  Last Man Standing is a perfect example.  Starring Tim Allen as the often-confused father of three daughters, Last Man Standing was one of the sitcoms that was always more popular with audiences than critics.  I can’t say that I have ever regularly watched it, though the few times I have both watched and paid attention to it, it seemed to be an inoffensive sitcom that, more often than not, worked because of its cast and despite some heavy-handed writing.

For whatever reason, Last Man Standing is one of those sitcoms that always seems to be airing somewhere.  On Sunday, it aired on Newsnation from early in the morning until late in the evening.  I had it playing in the background while I did some work around the house.  I can’t say that I really paid much attention to it.  Tim Allen was confused by his daughters.  His daughters were competing for his attention.  One of the daughter’s had a liberal husband, who was basically the world’s biggest wimp.  It felt more like a series from the late 90s than the 2010s.  But no matter.  It helped me focus on the work I was doing around the house and that was really all I needed.

moone_boy_title

Moone Boy (Sunday Night, PBS)

Martin became an altar boy and found out the truth about the Mass Mafia.  It was an enjoyable homage to Goodfellas, even if it did end with the Godfather theme playing over the end credits.  I especially like the fact that Martin’s confirmation name was also Martin.  “That will be easy to remember.”

(For the record, my confirmation name was Sofia.)

The Office

The Office (Comedy Central, All The Time)

On Sunday morning, I watched Safety Training and Product Recall, two classics from season 3. Safety Training featured Michael thinking that he could safely jump off the building and onto a bouncy castle. Product Recall featured Andy dating a 16 year-old high school student. Funny episodes but what the Hell was going on in Scranton!?

Actually, my favorite part of Product Recall was Michael calling the press to let them know about the offensive watermark because, otherwise, how were they going to find out?

open-all-hours

Open All Hours (Monday Morning, PBS)

Poor Granville.  His entire life revolves around that morning milk delivery.  Some morning, the delivery’s going to be delayed and Granville’s going to snap.  It won’t be pretty.

parking_wars

Parking Wars (Monday Morning, A&E)

“I love South Philly but if you’re parked in the wrong place on one of my streets, you’re getting a ticket.”  Oh, shut up.

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Seinfeld (Weekday Night, Channel 33)

I watched four episodes of this 90s sitcom, two on Tuesday and two on Wednesday.  Two of the episodes dealt with the production of a pilot that was written by Jerry and George.  I’ve always like the episodes with The Pilot, if just because of the way that Jerry Seinfeld poked fun at his own acting limitations.  (“Because he’s my butler!”)  George’s obsession over the box of raisins was another classic, cringey moment.

As for the other two episodes, one dealt with George trying to hire a secretary to which he wouldn’t be sexually attracted (it did not work) and the other was one of my favorites, in which Jerry and George try to figure out how to perfect the roommate switch.  (“I’m not sure of the exact pronunciation but I think it’s called …. ménage a trois?”  “Oh, that’s wild.”  And, of course, later: “I’m not an orgy guy!”)  Really, putting George in any position of authority just seems like the ultimate HR nightmare.

storage-wars

Storage Wars (All Day Tuesday, A&E)

I watched several episodes on Tuesday and, as tends to happen with A&E all-day marathons, they all blended together.  But no matter!  The good thing was that the majority of the episode were from the first three seasons, when the whole show was about Dave getting on people’s nerves and Barry acting all eccentric and somehow managing to injure himself every time he tried to clean out a locker.  To be honest, I don’t think the show has ever really recovered from losing Barry as a regular.

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Upstart Crow (Sunday Night, PBS)

Realizing that his new play, Twelfth Night, just isn’t working, Shakespeare comes up with the brilliant idea to turn it into a jukebox miracle!  Everyone loves the play once the music of Thomas Morley is added but then Morley himself refuses to sign over the rights to his music.  Oh, Shakespeare, will you ever learn?

Twonky