Cyrus?
He’s the one and only.
From 1979’s The Warriors (which I watched earlier tonight as a part of the #FridayNightFlix live tweet), here’s a scene that I love. Playing the role of Cyrus, the man who could bring all of the gangs of New York together, is Roger Hill. Playing the role of his assassin is the great David Patrick Kelly.
Cyrus knew what he was talking about but the world wasn’t ready for him.
Can you dig it?
Today is my birthday so here is a video for my favorite song from my favorite band! According to Saint Motel’s YouTube channel, this is “Official Fan Video,” for A Good Song Never Dies, which I’m going to assume makes it different from the official band video. Well, no matter! It’s a great song and a good video.
And, it’s true, you know. A good song never dies!
Enjoy!
Georgetown is one of those films that’s been around for a while.
The movie, which is the directorial debut of Christoph Waltz. was originally filmed in 2017. It made its debut at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2019, where it received respectful reviews. It played in at least some parts of Europe in 2020. But it didn’t get a limited theatrical release in America until May of 2021 and it was released on VOD just a few days later. Some of the delays in the film’s release were undoubtedly due to the uncertainty bred by the COVID lockdowns. And some of it was probably due to no one being sure how to market a true crime film about murder amongst the rich and powerful of Washington D.C. As such, Georgetown didn’t really get much attention when it was released. That’s a shame, because it’s actually a pretty good movie, a clever mix of social satire and legal drama.
Christoph Waltz not only directs but also stars as Ulrich Mott. Mott is a somewhat ludicrous figure. His past is shadowy. He claims to have served as a member of the French Foreign Legion, though his breaks down in tears after a snarky State Department official points out that none of Mott’s medals appear to be genuine. Mott claims to have a lot of powerful and influential acquaintances, even though many of them only know him because he aggressively approached them at a party and forced them to take one of his business cards. He occasionally wears a eye patch, even though he doesn’t need it. After the fall of Saddam Hussein, Mott announces that he has been named a brigadier general in the Iraqi army and he claims to be a lobbyist for the new government. Mott is also the head of a consulting firm called the Eminent Persons Group, which is later described as just being a Ponzi scheme for the rich and powerful.
It’s easy to make fun of Ulrich Mott but, throughout the film, we watch as he arranges dinners with men like future Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and former French Prime Minister Michel Rocard. He meets with former Defense Secretary Robert McNamara. He mentions the he knows George Soros. Mott is well-known among America’s elite, if not exactly respected. This is almost entirely due to his marriage to the much older Elsa Breht (Vanessa Redgrave), a journalist who is, at one point, described as being “the queen of Georgetown society.”
When the 91 year-old Elsa is discovered dead at the foot of her staircase, the police originally think that she may have just suffered from an accidental fall. Mott, however, declares that it’s obvious that Elsa was murdered by his enemies and that he will dedicate the rest of his life to tracking them down and getting justice. Meanwhile, Elsa’s daughter (played by Annette Bening) is convinced that Mott murdered her mother. The police agree and Ulrich Mott is soon on trial. Mott’s main concern is that he be allowed to wear his red beret in the courtroom. After all, it’s apart of his uniform as a brigadier general in the Iraqi army.
Flashing back and forth from the past to the present, Georgetown is primarily a character study of a man who has little talent and not much of a conscience but who does have a lot of ambition and a lot of charm. Mott works his way up into the upper channels of D.C. society through a combination of flattery and compulsive lying and Waltz gives such a charismatic performance in the lead role that you believe every minute of it. He’s appealingly vulnerable when he approaches the first clients for what will become the Eminent Persons Group and it’s hard not to sympathize with him when he breaks down in tears after being exposed, for the first time, as a fraud. However, as the film progresses, we’re left to wonder if the vulnerability and tears were genuine or if they were just another part of Ulrich Mott’s performance. Mott is both diabolically arrogant and almost compulsively self-destructive and Waltz does a great job of portraying those two seemingly conflicting sides of his personality. He’s well-matched by Vanessa Redgrave, who makes Elsa’s love for Mott feel real and credible. Watching the film, one can understand why Elsa initially believed in Mott and also why she stayed with him even as she discovered that he was never quite who he claimed to be,
Georgetown is nicely done portrait of duplicity and murder among America’s elite. It’s both sharply satiric and, in its way, rather heart-breaking. It definitely deserves more attention that it originally received.
Land tells the story of Edee, a woman who thinks that she wants to die. Edee is played by Robin Wright, who also directed the film.
Edee is dealing with a tragedy, one that the film provides clues to understanding without going into too much details. Edee has visions of a man and a child and it’s easy to figure out that they were once her family. There are other flashbacks of Edee’s sister, Emma (Kim Dickens), begging Edee not to harm herself. Edee meets with a therapist and says that she doesn’t want to share her grief with other people. She wants to deal with her grief alone, a perfectly reasonable request but no one that is likely to be understood in today’s age of social media oversharing.
When Edee drives out tp an isolated, mountain cabin, she says that she’s looking to start a new life, off the grid. However, as is quickly revealed by a conversation with the helpful Cole (Brad Leland), Edee doesn’t know anything about living in the wilderness. What’s more, she doesn’t appear to want to learn anything either. She has little interest in Cole’s advice. She asks Cole to return her rental car for her. When Cole says that it’s not a good idea to live in the mountains without some sort of a vehicle, Edee shrugs him off. She’s obviously not planning on coming down from the mountain.
Instead, she plans to die in the cabin. The sight of the man and the child, standing ghost-like in the woods, does not change her mind. And yet, when Edee finds herself with her forehead resting atop the barrel of a rifle, she cannot bring herself to pull the trigger. When she is approached by a bear, she retreats to her cabin, showing that she still has an instinct for self-preservation. (Either that, or she would just rather die in a less gruesome way than a bear attack.) Edee leaves it to nature to determine her fate. She’ll stay in the cabin and starve herself to death or she’ll let the elements take her out. It’s a plan that takes the responsibility off of her.
However, there’s a nurse named Alawa (Sarah Dawn Pledge) and a hunter named Miguel (Demien Bircher) in the area and when they discover Edee near death in her cabin, they nurse her back to health. Miguel tells her that there are better ways to die than starving herself and, in his polite but direct way, calls her out for not appreciating the fact that she has something that most other people don’t, the ability to retreat to her cabin when life gets to difficult. Miguel is recovering from his own tragedy and is also living off the grid. He offers to show Edee how to hunt and survive. Edee agrees, on the condition that he not tell her about anything that’s happening in the outside world.
The scenery looks beautiful and both Robin Wright and Demian Bircher give effective performances as two people who don’t necessarily talk a lot but who instinctively understand that they have much in common. The film is respectful of the grief that’s felt by both Edee and Miguel without descending into mawkishness or cheap dramatics. It’s a steadily-paced movie that trusts the audience to figure things out without having to spell everything out. Land is a simple film but it works.
I spent the first week after Halloween in a state of exhaustion. That’s the way it usually is after a successful horrorthon. I got a lot of work done at the office. I had the TV on for background noise for quite a bit of the time. Here’s what I watched:
Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)
With the colonels being held hostage by the Communist Resistance, Michelle came up with a great plan to solve the problem! Rene could simply rob a bank! After all, Michelle said, they had access to the greatest safe cracker in all of France. LeClerc looked confused until he realized she was talking about him. Rene attempted to refuse but soon found himself in a bank, holding a torch while LeClerc attempted to break into the safe. It all led, of course, to an explosion. Monsieur Alphonse was upset that some of his money was set on fire to provide light in the vault. Who can blame him? Meanwhile, Officer Crabtree kept asking Michelle and Rene if there done “ribbing the bonk.” I laughed.
The Bachelorette (Tuesday Night, ABC)
Michelle sent Jamie home, which was good. But then she canceled the Cocktail Party, which …. eh. The whole “I’m going to cancel the cocktail party and go straight to the Rose Ceremony” thing has become the biggest Bachelorette cliché move. It’s right up there with questioning whether someone is on the show for the right reasons.
Baywatch Hawaii (Prime)
Running for two seasons, from 1999 to 2001 (wow, two centuries!), Baywatch Hawaii was an attempt to reenergize the fading popularity of Baywatch by moving all of the lifeguard action to a new state. Mitch (David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff) left California for Hawaii, where he started a new branch of Baywatch. JD (Michael Bergin), Jessie (Brooke Burns), and Newman (MICHAEL NEWMAN!) came with him and were joined by a group of new lifeguard trainees. Of the new cast members, a very young Jason Mamoa played an impetuous lifeguard named …. Jason.
Having binged the original Baywatch earlier this year, I figured that I might as well watch the two seasons of Baywatch Hawaii, just so I could get the complete story. Luckily, both seasons are on Prime.
On Thursday, I watched the first four episode and they weren’t particularly good. The Hoff looked extremely bored and really wasn’t in much of the show. Instead, most of the action revolved around Sean (Jason Brooks), the hardass instructor brought in to train the new lifegaurds and turn them into a team. Every episode, Sean threatened to send someone back to the mainland and, each time, the lifeguards proved themselves at the last minute. The first episode opened with the Hoff having an existential crisis in Hawaii, one that was solved when he saved a little girl from drowning. The second episode featured Sean yelling at the new recruits while the Hoff saved the exact same little girl from suffering a case of secondary drowning at her birthday party. This was followed by an episode where a new lifeguard named Dawn joined the team and immediately started scheming to seal JD away from from Jessie. Finally, in episode #4, Jason was nearly sent home for being too “self-reliant,” which didn’t make much sense to me but whatever. In all four episodes, the Hawiiaian scenery was lovely and everyone had an aesthetically pleasing body and really, that’s the main concern with a show like this.
On Friday, I watched episodes 4 through 8. Sean yelled at the lifeguards. Jason struggled to learn how to work as a member of a team. Dawn kept trying to steal everyone’s boyfriend. So far, this has been a pretty repetitive show. The same could be said of the original Baywatch but that show often seemed to be cheerfully aware of how silly it was whereas Baywatch Hawaii took itself a bit too seriously. The 8th episode did feature the return of Hobie. The Hoff was upset when he discovered that 1) Hobie was marrying a girl that the Hoff had never met and 2) Hobie was apparently embarrassed to introduce the Hoff to the wealthy parents of his wife-to-be. Embarrassed by the Hoff!? Say it ain’t so, Hobie! It all worked out in the end, though. The Hoff saved a wedding photographer who fell in the ocean and Hobie and his girlfriend decided to put off getting married and instead just decided to live together in sin. My aunt would be very disappointed in them.
Classic Concentration (Weekday Afternoons, Buzzr)
This was an old game show, in which contestants tried to match the pictures that were hiding under the squares. I watched two episodes on Wednesday and it was actually kind of a fun show.
Cold Case (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)
On Monday’s episode, the Cold Case Squad investigated why Lilly never seemed to wash her hair. No, actually, they investigated a 1962 murder that had been disguised to look like a murder. Seriously, though, what was up with Lilly’s hair?
Court Cam (Wednesday Evening, A&E)
I watched two episodes on Wednesday evening. One featured a defendant who told the judge to go “<bleep> yourself” and I have to say that the A&E censorship beeps are so loud that they can actually give you a headache after a while.
Crossing Jordan (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)
I watched two episodes on Monday but, for the most part, I just had the show on for background noise. In the first episode, Jordan and her team of quirky coroners were outraged over prison conditions. In the second episode, Jordan and the gang were outraged over a religious cult. There was a lot of quirky outrage.
Day of the Dead (Friday Night, SyFy)
Eh. It’s not really a bad show but, after watching three episodes this week to get caught up, I kind of feel that Day of the Dead is just not going to be for me. It’s hard to say why I don’t particularly care for it. The anti-fracking stuff is a bit too on-the-nose but, then again, George Romero wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to making his political points in the latter Dead films either. I think my main problem is that we’re four episodes in and it’s still doesn’t seem as if the show has established any sort of narrative momentum. So, I think I’m done with Day of the Dead for now.
Dennis The Menace (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)
I kind of watched two episodes of this show on Tuesday morning. I say “kind of” because I only had the TV on in the office for background noise and Dennis was such a sociopathic little brat that I really couldn’t bring myself to pay that much attention to him. Poor Mr. Wilson!
Fear the Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)
Ghost Whisperer (Weekday morning, Start TV)
I watched an episode at Monday while I was at work. After a college student was scared into a coma, Melinda had to determine if it was the work of Bloody Mary or if it was just a ghost who needed help crossing over. This episode was from the Jay Mohr years so it had all of this weird sexual tension between Rick and Melinda, despite Melinda being married to Jim.
Hazel (Weekday Mornings, Antenna TV)
On Tuesday, I used two episodes of this maid-centered, old sitcom for background noise. In one, Hazel raised money to repair a broken vase. In the next one, she helped out a gardener who was in danger of getting fired. Hazel really needed to get a life outside of work.
I Dream of Jeannie (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)
On Tuesday, I had two episodes on for background noise. One featured Jeannie’s dog causing chaos. The other featured Jeannie ruining the marriage of Major Nelson’s commanding officer. How many lives did Jeannie ruin during her reign of terror?
The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)
I wrote about the special Halloween episode of The Love Boat here!
Match Game ’76 (Weekday Mornings, Buzzr)
I watched two episodes of this old game show on Wednesday. Two contestants tried to match answers with a group of angry-looking alcholics. The entire set looked like it reeked of gin, cigarettes, and skunk weed.
Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour (Weekday Mornings, Buzzr)
This was a weird game show from the 80s. Basically, it’s 30 minutes of the Match Game, followed by 30 minutes of Hollywood Squares with the same contestants and minor celebs taking part in both. I kind of watched an episode of Wednesday morning but, to be honest, the show was mostly just background noise while I organized the office.
Medium (Weekday Mornings, Start TV)
I caught an episode on Monday, while I was at work. Alison solved the case of a young woman who was pushed off a cliff. Alison and her incredibly understanding husband also wondered whether they should warn a friend that Alison had foreseen him having a fatal heart attack. The low-key and serious approach of Medium provided a clear contrast to the more sensationalistic approach of Ghost Whisperer. But Ghost Whisperer was a much more fun show to watch.
The Office (Sunday Night, Comedy Central)
Jim and Pam badgered Danny Cordray over why Danny didn’t ask Pam on a second date. This episode is a good example of how unlikable Jim and Pam became after they got married.
One Step Beyond (YouTube)
Check out the episode that I watched here.
Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)
Granville sadly wondered if he would ever marry. Arkwright told him he was too young to worry about such things, despite the fact that Granville appears to be nearly 50. No wonder Granville is losing his grip on reality.
Saved By The Bell (Sunday Morning, MeTV)
Survivor 41 (CBS, Wednesday Night)
I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!
Unforgettable (Weekday Afternoons, Start TV)
On Monday’s episode, Carrie and Al investigated a murder in upstate New York. It reminded Carrie of her sister’s murder, mostly because Carrie has total recall and everything reminds her of her sister’s murder. To be honest, I think if I had watched this show when it originally aired, I probably would have liked it. The photographic memory aspect is interesting and Poppy Montgomery and Dylan Walsh are likable in the lead roles.
Walking Dead: World Beyond (Sunday Night, AMC)
Saved by the Dead remains an entertaining-enough show. I’m still not sure what’s going on but I do enjoy all of the annoyed and rebellious attitudes.
I finally watched the latest episode of Fear the Walking Dead earlier today and, believe it or not, I’ve actually come to like this show.
Considering that I originally stopped watching Fear the Walking Dead because I got bored with it during its first season, I’m as surprised as anyone to realize that the seventh season of Fear The Walking Dead has won me over. But what can I say? The first three episodes of the show’s final season have been so weird that it’s been impossible not to enjoy them. Everything, from the radiation-scarred landscape to Colman Domingo’s wonderfully odd performance as Strand, has come together to make this show a rather lively look at a world dominated by the walking dead. It also helps, of course, that most of the boring characters from season one are no longer on the show. AMC figured out that audiences didn’t care about an emergency room doctor and her drug addict son. They cared about Morgan and nuclear fallout.
Morgan showed up during the final minutes of the latest episode of Fear the Walking Dead, just long enough to discover that two of his allies had been, depending on how you look at it, either rescued or abducted by Strand. He and Strand had a little argument over the radio. Strand says that he’s going to remake the world, something that Morgan could never figure out how to do. Morgan and Strand both appear to be batshit insane, which is what made the scene so compelling. Would you want to live in a world created by either of them?
The majority of the episode revolved around John Dorie (Keith Carradine) and his daughter-in-law, June (Jenna Elfman), living in an underground bunker. (Before I go any further, I should mention that is the first season of Fear the Walking Dead that I’ve regularly watched since the first one. So, if I misinterpret anything that was established in a previous season, feel free to correct me in the comments but be kind about it.) The bunker was formerly the lair of Teddy, who I assume was a serial killer who John pursued and framed during his previous life as a cop. With June insisting that it was too dangerous to leave the bunker and John suffering from DTS, John became very interested in a hidden room that he and June discovered in the bunker. The room was where Teddy used to embalm his victims and John soon found himself having conversations with the spirit of one of his victims, Cindy Hawkins. Cindy’s body was never recovered and John became obsessed with finding it. Apparently, he made a promise to Cindy’s mother, The fact that Cindy’s mother was probably dead either as a result of zombies or radiation did not seem to matter with John.
The show left it ambiguous as to whether or not Cindy’s spirit was real or just a product of John’s delirious state. But ultimately, it didn’t matter whether or not Cindy’s spirit was real. Cindy was a symbol. Finding Cindy’s body would bring John some sort of peace. It would be a sign that there was still a place for men like John in the world of the walking dead. Keith Carradine did a great job of portraying John’s torment and his single-minded determination to find some shred of hope, even while trapped in a combination of a zombie and a nuclear apocalypse.
It was a good episode, full of enjoyably weird imagery and distinguished by fine performance from both Keith Carradine and Jenna Elfman. Both John and June ended the episode as guests of Strand. Hopefully, they’ll both survive. It’d be a shame for either one of them to exit the season early.
In honor of what would have been Charles Bronson’s 100th birthday, today’s blast from the past is an episode of the old 1960s anthology series, One Step Beyond. The gimmick with this show was that every story was said to be based on fact, no matter how outlandish or improbable the story may be.
In this episode from 1961, Charles Bronson stars as Yank Dawson, an aging boxer who finds himself in haunted auditorium in England during World War II. Bronson was 39 years old when he starred as Yank Dawson and he gives a good performance. The role makes good use of both Bronson’s imposing physicality and also the smoldering anger that would eventually make Bronson a star in both Europe and, later, the United States.
The episode below first aired on January 10th, 1961.
Have you ever wanted to enroll in a private school so that you could investigate a murder and maybe uncover some sort of occult conspiracy? Sure, we all have! Well, don’t worry …. there’s a place for you! Welcome to Salem Academy, an exclusive all-girl’s college where students learn all the basic subjects, along with taking courses in art and human sacrifice!
Salem Academy is overseen by the feared and intimidating Mrs. Williams (Jo Van Fleet), who keeps a close eye on her students and tries to make sure that they aren’t distracted or corrupted by any outside influences. However, not even Mrs. Williams can keep Martha Sayers (Terry Lumley) from fleeing the school and going to her sister’s house in Los Angeles. When Martha’s sister, Elizabeth (Pamela Franklin), returns home, she discovers that Martha has been hanged. The police say that it was suicide. Elizabeth believes that it’s something else.
So, Elizabeth does what any vengeance-seeking sister would do. Using an assumed name, she enrolls in Salem Academy herself. She meets and befriends three other students (played by Kate Jackson, Jamie Smith Jackson, and Cheryl Ladd). She gets to know two rather suspicious teachers, Prof. Delacroix (Lloyd Bochner) and Dr. Clampett (Roy Thinnes). She also manages to raise the concerns of Mrs. Williams, who doesn’t like the fact that the new girl keeps asking so many questions about why so many students at Salem Academy have died recently.
Still, Elizabeth continues to investigate. Perhaps the secret can be found in a mysterious painting that she comes across, one that appears to be of Martha? Perhaps the teachers and the students know more than they’re telling. But who can Elizabeth trust?
A made-for-television film from 1973, Satan’s School For Girls is frequently as silly as its name. Fortunately, the film, which was produced by Aaron Spelling and directed David Lowell Rich, seems to understand just how ludicrous it is and it totally embraces both the melodrama and the silliness of its plot. This film is totally product of the time in which it was made, from the dialogue to the hairstyles to the fashions to the ending that you’ll see coming from a mile away. At the same time, that’s also why this film is a lot of fun. It’s such a product of its time that it doubles as a time capsule. Do you want to go back to 1973? Well, go over to YouTube and watch Satan’s School For Girls. After you’ve watched it, step outside and ask anyone who the president is and they’ll probably say, “Richard Nixon.” And if you ask them who they’re favorite Brady is, they’ll look at you like your crazy because everyone know that Marcia is the best Brady. If you even have to ask, it’s obvious that you don’t really watch the show. After that, you should probably try to find a way to get back to 2021 before you change the future or something. You know how tricky time travel can be.
As for Satan’s School for Girls, it’s just a really fun movie so check it out and be sure not to be late for class!
Today, after I finished up Halloween, I switched over to MeTV and I watched a Halloween episode of that very 70s series, The Love Boat!
Why Was I Watching It?
A special Halloween episode of the silliest television series ever!? And one featuring Vincent Price as an illusionist!? How couldn’t I watch?
What Was It About?
For the ship’s Halloween cruise, the Amazing Alozno (Vincent Price) has been hired to do his act. He’s quite the illusionist. Through a combination of hypnotism and magic, he transforms the ship into a magical wonderland where people turn into donkeys and the pool briefly appears to be a giant ice cream sundae. But will Alonzo also be able to conjure up love or will he continue to ignore his devoted fiancée and instead, only worry about keeping his fans happy?
Meanwhile, a model (Barbara Anderson) who is recovering from a serious car accident has absolutely no use for illusion. She just wants to stay in her cabin but her friend, who also happens to be the cruise director, demands that she enjoy the cruise.
What Worked?
Vincent Price as an illusionist!? Hell yeah! Okay, the illusions were kind of dumb and never really made sense and the show never actually explained how he could turn Gopher and Doc into donkeys but …. well, isn’t the silliness kind of the point? The important thing is that he was Vincent Price and he appeared to be having time of his life. Good for him!
Barbara Anderson actually gave a pretty good dramatic performance as the model. Admittedly, it did feel a little strange to have this extremely dramatic story playing out beside scenes of Vincent Price turning people into donkeys and transforming the ship’s pool into a giant ice cream sundae but again, I guess that was kind of the appeal of the show. It’s all weird and somehow, it works.
The boat, incidentally, looked really nice. I’m going to take a cruise now.
What Did Not Work?
On the Love Boat, everything works!
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
I could relate to the model and before anyone rolls their eyes, allow me to explain. When I was 19, I was in a pretty serious car accident. The car that I was in flipped over and I basically ended up upside down in the driver’s seat, surrounded by broken glass. Later, I was told that, when people saw the damage the car, they assumed that I had to have died. Instead, I only got a few scrapes, bruises, and cuts. I ended up with two permanent scars — a small one on my hand and then another one on the side of my neck. And for years, I was so self-conscious of that scar on my neck, even though it faded quickly and I now realize it was barely noticeable. I obsessed on it, though, both because I disliked having it and also because it reminded me of a traumatic event. All the angst and worrying that I did about it seems kind of silly now.
Lessons Learned
Love won’t have to hurt anymore. It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
Look who’s back! He’s big. He’s bald. He’s now missing a bit of his face and an eye. He doesn’t look too good but still…. it’s Glenn Manning!
When we last saw Lt. Col. Glenn Manning in 1957’s The Amazing Colossal Man, he had grown to become a giant as the result of getting caught up in a nuclear blast. He had also gone totally mad and, after attempting to destroy America’s greatest city (Las Vegas, if you had to ask), he promptly fell off the Boulder Dam. Everyone assumed he was dead.
They assumed wrong.
1958’s War of the Colossal Beast (which came out a year after The Amazing Colossal Man) opens with the discovery that Glenn is still alive and he’s still wandering around in the desert. Of course, as the title suggests, he’s no longer a man. Now, he’s a crazed beast! Not only is he missing an eye and several teeth but he can no longer speak in intelligible words. Whatever bit of mind he had left when he went over the side of Boulder Dam, he lost it all when he landed.
That’s not to say that the beast that was once Glenn doesn’t have memories. In fact, a good deal of this film’s 69 minute run time is made up of flashbacks to The Amazing Colossal Man. It’s just that Glenn can’t figure out what those flashbacks mean. Perhaps it’s because Glenn is now played by an actor named Dean Parkin while the flashbacks all feature a totally different actor in the role.
Anyway, Glenn is once again captured by the army and once again, he manages to escape. This time, Glenn leaves Vegas alone and instead attacks Los Angeles and Hollywood. Spare the film industry, Glenn! It’s up to the army and Glenn’s sister to once again try to convince Glenn to stop ripping the city apart. Of course, they could just try to convince him to fall off another dam….
Like the first film, War of the Colossal Beast was directed by Bert I. Gordon. War of the Colossal Beast isn’t as much fun of The Amazing Colossal Man, largely because Glenn can no longer speak so, other than in the flashbacks to the first film, we don’t get any tortured monologues about the unfairness of it all. That said, the Colossal Beast make-up is actually pretty effective and I’m sure many kids in the 50s had nightmares about having to escape from a one-eyed giant.
War of the Colossal Beast will be best appreciated by people who have seen the first film and who are looking for some sort of closure to Glenn’s tragic growth spurt. God knows that when I first watched The Amazing Colossal Man, I went outside after it was over and I shook my hands at the sky and I shouted, “DAMN YOU! I NEED MORE GLENN!” The main lesson of these films is that you should never try to rescue anyone in the desert. If Glenn hadn’t tried to save that pilot who crashed in the nuclear testing site, Vegas and Hollywood would never have been destroyed. It’s something to think about.
Through the Shattered Lens