Out of This World”

Posted on April 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s cruise is all about adultery and aliens!

Episode 4.10 “Boomerang/Captain’s Triangle/Out Of This World”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 13th, 1980)

When Donna Dayton (Pamela Sue Martin) boards the boat, Julie immediately notices her wedding ring and asks if Mr. Dayton will be following her. Donna explains that she’s not married. She just wears the ring to keep sleazy men from hitting on her.

Julie is shocked. What if Donna meets someone on the boat!?

Donna says that she has no intention of meeting anyone.

Can you guess what happens next?

Donna meets Scott Hanson (Barry Van Dyke) and it’s love at …. well, not quite first sight. In fact, Donna is weary of Scott because Scott is on the cruise with his oafish best friend, Lance (Guich Koock, who has a great name if nothing else). When Lance tries to hit on Donna, Donna shoots him down. When Scott apologizes to Donna, it leads to them dancing together and then later spending a day in Mexico. Scott repeatedly says that their relationship cannot continue once the cruise is over. Even after Scott spends the night in Donna’s cabin (which was kind of a rare occurrence on this show because The Love Boat was usually a surprisingly chaste show), Scott says that he can’t be with Donna.

Finally realizing that she’s still wearing her fake wedding ring, Donna tells Scott, “I’m not married!”

“But I am,” Scott replies.

DAMN! When did The Love Boat get so dramatic? When the ship returns to Los Angeles, Donna gives her wedding ring to Julie and announces that the next time she wears a ring, it’ll be because she’s married.

Wow, that was depressing. Fortunately, the other two stories are a bit less serious.

For instance, Captain Stubing’s friend, Brad (Monte Markham), boards the boat with his wife, Monica (Sue Ane Langdon). Monica soon starts to hit on Stubing, which leads to Stubing spending all of his time hiding on the bridge. Doc Bricker, naturally, offers to sleep with Monica. Fortunately, Stubing figures out that it’s all Brad’s fault and he tells Brad that he needs to spend more time with his wife. Brad agrees and later learns that Monica just wanted to have an affair because she was insecure about turning 40. But once Brad starts to pay attention to her again, Monica decides not to cheat on him. Sorry, Doc!

Finally, in perhaps the silliest Love Boat storyline ever, Martin Fallow (Tom Smothers) is a science fiction fan who is convinced that his local librarian, Elinor Green (Helen Reddy), is an alien from the planet Romulac. Martin explains to Gopher that Elinor turns into a plant at night and only eats other plants. Elinor proceeds to eat a flower while Isaac, Gopher, and Martin watch.

Elinor later confesses to Isaac that she is not an alien but she’s been pretending to be one because she knows that Martin is obsessed with science fiction. Okay, that makes …. well, that actually makes no sense whatsoever. Elinor thought she could get Martin to love her by pretending to be a plant and …. actually, Martin does fall in love with her so I guess her plan worked. This was such a weird story. Fortunately, it was also a lot of fun. With all the talk of adultery, it was good to have something that was just incredibly silly to serve as a counterbalance.

This was an enjoyable cruise. Pamela Sue Martin and Barry Van Dyke had so much chemistry as the forbidden lovers that I really did feel bad that they couldn’t be together. And the alien stuff was dumb but fun. This was a cruise that truly had something for everyone.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.20 “Rendezvous”

Posted on April 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

This week, Mitch and the Gang screw up another easy case.

Episode 1.20 “Rendezvous”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on May 4th, 1996)

Mitch, Ryan, and Garner are hired to track down Bradley Thurman (John Sanderford), a former top executive who embezzled over twenty million dollars and then, with the help of plastic surgery, went into hiding. Thurman has come to California to track down his wife and child, both of whom are in the witness protection program. They are told that, if they help to capture Bradley, they will be entitled to 20% of whatever money is recovered.

“20% of 20,000,000,” Mitch says, dreamily.

“Or 20% of nothing,” Ryan adds, revealing that she at least understands that both this show and presumably Baywatch would be over if Mitch ever became independently wealthy.

Donna and and Griff help out with the case, despite the fact that neither one of them is a detective and they both already have jobs that should presumably keep them busy. I mean, Donna owns a bar and it seems like that would require a lot of work on her part. Instead, she’s always either training to become a life guard, pursuing a modeling career, and trying to help Mitch solve a case. If I was Donna, I would be concerned about the fact that I’m always being told to go flirt with the bad guys. It seems like a dangerous assignment to give to someone who isn’t actually a detective. Griff, as a professional photographer, at least has a skill that is regularly used in actual detective work.

Even though this episode’s story felt like a return to the type of plots that Baywatch Nights featured when it first premiered, it was still a rather inconsequential episode. Bradley Thurman was hardly a clever or even a menacing villain and the fact that he got as close to his wife and his child as he did had less to do with any skill on Thurman’s part and everything to do with Mitch just not being very good at his job.

Actually, why are Mitch, Ryan, and Garner such terrible detectives? Mitch’s problem is that he never seems to focus on the case at hand. Instead, he’s always trying to flirt with Ryan or looking out at the ocean to see if anyone’s drowning. Being a detective requires concentration and that seems to be something that Mitch struggles with. Garner, meanwhile, is a bit too cocky for someone who, despite appearing in the open credits, hardly ever actually appears on the show. But still, Ryan seems like she should have everything that it takes to be a good detective but, every show, she makes the same mistakes as Mitch and Garner. I think Ryan actually is a good detective. She’s just being dragged down by Mitch’s incompetence. I think if Ryan went off on her own, she’d have a lot more success.

Next week, Mitch helps an old friend who thinks his wife is an imposter!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.19 “The Proxy Billionaire/The Experiment”

Posted on April 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

This week, things get weird.

Episode 4.19 “The Proxy Billionaire/The Experiment”

(Dir by Richard Benedict, originally aired on March 21st, 1981)

This week’s episode is a bit of an odd one.

The first fantasy is fairly typical for the series. Playing two roles, Robert Goulet is cast as both a billionaire and as Frank Miller, a Wall Street analyst who wants to be a billionaire. The real billionaire agrees to allow Frank to live his life for the weekend. Frank soon discovers that being a billionaire is …. well, actually, it’s pretty cool. Except, of course, Phyllis Davis and Troy Donahue are plotting to poison him at a luau so that they can steal all of his money. Fortunately, Mr. Roarke shows up at the luau in time to catch the vial of poison as Davis and Donahue attempt to toss it away. Frank learns that being a billionaire is fine as long as no one wants to kill you. Still, he has to return to his normal life at the end of the weekend. Fortunately, the millionaire’s administrative assistant (Britt Ekland) has fallen in love with Frank and she decides to leave the Island with him.

As I said, this story felt pretty typical of Fantasy Island. Probably the highlight was Mr. Roarke walking in on Tattoo badgering Frank for financial advice. Roarke responded by giving Tattoo a strong glare that, if nothing else, reminded the audience that Tattoo and Roarke absolutely despise each other.

The other fantasy was …. well, it was weird. Dr. Lucas Bergmann (James Broderick) and his daughter, Lisa (hey!), come to the Island. Each has a fantasy. Lisa (played by Laurie Walters) says her fantasy is for Lucas to relax and enjoy himself and to stop obsessing over bringing the dead back to life. Lucas’s fantasy is to bring the dead back to life. Roarke sets Lucas and Lisa up in a bungalow that once belonged to another scientist who also wanted to play God. Roarke warns Lucas that the local Islanders are superstitious and they might not appreciate him tampering in God’s domain.

(If the Islanders are that superstitious, how are they handling living on a magical island that is ruled by a mercurial demigod?)

Soon, the Islanders are beating their drums and Lucas’s mute assistant (Woody Strode) is looking concerned. Lucas steps outside and discovers that Lisa has apparently drowned in a nearby lake. Lucas decides that she’ll be the subject of his experiment. Can he bring her back to life? Lucas doesn’t find out because the Islanders storm his bungalow and Lucas runs into the jungle, fleeing until he eventually runs into Roarke, Tattoo, and …. LISA!

It turns out that Lisa was only pretending to be dead in order to teach her father a lesson. And it also turns out that the Islanders were in on it and Woody Strode can speak.

WHAT!?

Seriously, was there not a simpler and perhaps less traumatic way to teach Lucas a lesson? This seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to. Lucas does realize that he doesn’t need to raise the dead to be happy so that’s good. Still, this whole thing just feels weird.

Of course, weird is good when it comes to Fantasy Island. With Roarke and Tattoo barely on speaking terms, it’s even more important for the fantasies to be memorable. And I will never forget about the time Mr. Roarke tricked a scientist into believing his only child was dead. Seriously, I’m stunned Mr. Roarke was never sued.

Next week, we meet Mr. Roarke’s goddaughter!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.20 “Rainy Day”

Posted on April 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

What would CHiPs be like without motorcycles? We’re about to find out.

Episode 1.20 “Rainy Day”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 2nd, 1978)

While riding his motorcycle on the California highway, Baker groans as he feels a drop of water. He tells Ponch that it’s going to rain and the two of them are going to end up getting stuck in a patrol car.

“It’s only sprinkling!” Ponch replies.

One jump cut later and Ponch and Baker are trapped in the middle of a downpour. Despite the heavy rain and the fact that they’re getting soaked, they still manage to save a teacher after a car swerves on the slick road and hits her school bus. (Apparently, in 1978, teachers also had to drive the school buses.) The teacher is young and attractive so, of course, Ponch tells her that she and her students can drop by the station and see him any time that they want.

As for the rain, it turns out that Baker was right. After giving them a hard time about their wet uniforms (and not even bothering to acknowledge that those uniforms got wet while Baker and Ponch were saving someone’s life), Getraer assigns them to a patrol car for the day. It’s a new patrol car so Getraer warns them not to get a scratch on it. Usually, I can kind of understand why Getraer is a bit weary of Ponch but, in this episode, the guy’s just a jerk about everything.

You can probably already guess what the main problem with this episode is. The appeal of CHiPs, at least from what I’ve seen so far, is that it features a lot of exciting motorcycle stunts. Chase scenes involving motorcycles are fun to watch because motorcycles can go extremely fast and they can weave in-and-out of traffic. The show works best when Ponch and Baker are on their motorcycles. This episodes put them in a bulky, slow-moving squad car. Even stuck in the car, Ponch and Baker manage to catch a car thief and they put an end to an illegal gambling casino that’s been hidden inside of an RV. But it really doesn’t matter because they’re in a squad car. There’s nothing exciting about a squad car.

And yes, the squad car does get trashed, specifically while Ponch and Baker are chasing a degenerate gambler (Herb Edelman) who was seeking revenge against the RV casino. Getraer is not happy about the damage to the car, despite the fact that there really wasn’t any way to avoid it and Ponch and Baker managed to prevent a lot of people from getting injured. Fortunately, Officer Grossman (Paul Linke) accidentally backs into the squad car, leaving it ambiguous as to who is responsible for what damage. Getraer will just have to get mad at everyone, I guess.

I love the rain so I did appreciate the fact that this episode featured a lot of it. But otherwise, the whole thing just felt off. I don’t care how wet it is outside. Baker and Ponch just do not belong in a car.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 2.11 “Trust Me”

Posted on March 31, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, it’s a Zit Remedy sleepover!

Episode 2.11 “Trust Me”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on March 14th, 1988)

Snake is super-excited! His parents are going out of town and he’s going to have the house to himself for a day and a night. Joey is excited because that means he and Wheels can crash over at Snake’s. Joey wants to talk about to them about his plans to take their band, the Zit Remedy, to superstardom. Joey gets even more excited when he sees that Snake’s parents’ left their car behind.

Here’s my question. Snake’s real name is Archie but he’s called Snake for reasons that I’ve never understood. Wheels’s real name is Derek Wheeler and his nickname obviously has to do with his last name. So, why is Joey Jeremiah just Joey? Why doesn’t he get a supercool nickname? Maybe Joey wouldn’t always feel the need to show off if he had a better nickname.

Joey, perhaps hoping to get a nickname like Drivey or Speedy, swears that he knows how to drive. At first, Snake sensibly says that no one is going to drive his parents’ car. But then everyone oversleeps and Wheels awakens with only 15 minutes to get to the eye doctor! (Wheels has already missed several appointments and is running the risk of getting grounded.) Joey offers to drive Wheels to the doctor’s office.

Amazingly enough, Joey manages to get Wheels to his appointment without crashing the car. But then, Joey insists that he and Snake should get breakfast. While Joey is ordering French fries at a local Toronto diner, a truck backs into the car and appears to break the taillight. Using the $85 that the band was going to spend on an amp, Joey and Snake get the taillight fixed. But then it turns out that the taillight had been broken for a week and, when Snake’s parents see that it has been fixed, they realize something happened while they were gone.

Phone calls are made. Snake and Wheels are grounded and ordered not to hang out with each other outside of school. And Joey’s parents decide to take away Joey’s keyboard. IS THIS THE END OF THE ZIT REMEDY!?

(Of course, anyone who has watched any of the various versions of Degrassi knows that the Zit Remedy is going to be around for a very long time, despite the fact that they only wrote and performed one song. Still, I appreciated the show’s attempt to build some suspense as to whether or not the band will ever actually get a chance to perform in public.)

Meanwhile, Spike is kicked out of school! Booo! The Farrell Twins, who have apparently decided they need more friends than just Stephanie, agree to bring her homework to her house so that Spike won’t get held back a year. Good for them.

This was a good episode, largely because it explored the dynamics of the Joey/Snake/Wheels friendship. Joey is the one who enthusiastically pursues every idea and who has limitless faith in himself and his friends. Snake is the pragmatist. Wheels is somewhere in between. Joey needs Snake to keep him grounded but Snake needs Joey to remind him that it’s okay to dream and have fun. Watching the three of them hanging out in this episode, it’s hard not to think about what the future holds for them. They’re not going to be rock stars but Joey is going to find success as a father and a car salesman. Snake is going to eventually be principal of Degrassi. And Wheels …. well, let’s deal with that when we have to. This is one of those episodes that’s more fun if you don’t know what’s going to happen to everyone in the future. If you do know, it’s actually rather sad to see everyone so hopeful and innocent.

Next week, the sleazy substitute returns to Degrassi!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 1.22 “Sex Appeal”

Posted on March 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the first season comes to an end! Will Howard be promoted and, if he is, will there be a season 2? Let’s try to find out.

Episode 1.22 “Sex Appeal”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on March 12th, 1986)

Who will be the new vice president of the Cobb Corporation? Will it be Howard or will it be another store manager? Mrs. Cobb has sent her daughter, Tiffany (Ruth Buzzi), to interview and test both men. When Tiffany arrives at Howard’s store, she takes one look at him and decides that she’ll promote him but first, she wants to seduce him. Soon, Tiffany is forcing Howard to identify all of the items in the produce section with his eyes closed. When she places his hands on her face, Howard says, “Uhmmm …. pineapple! Moldy peaches!”

When Edna comes to the office late and discovers Howard and Tiffany in what appears to be a compromising position, she is scandalized. Howard insists that nothing happened and that Tiffany came onto him. He announces that he is charging Tiffany with sexual harrassment….

….and this somehow leads to a mock trial that is held in the breakroom, with all of the employees watching and Mrs. Cobb acting as judge. Is Mrs. Cobb really the best person to judge an accusation made against her daughter? Is this how they do things in Canada?

Howard is, of course, cleared of any wrong-doing. We all knew that was going to happen, largely because Tiffany is portrayed as being insane from the minute she shows up at the store. So, we get a resolution as far as the harassment is concerned but the whole storyline about Howard wanting a promotion is forgotten about and left unresolved.

And so, the first season ends with a bit of whimper. The first season was uneven. At its best, season one of Check It Out! had some episodes that were enjoyably weird. Any episode in which Gordon Clapp, Kathleen Laskey or Jeff Pustil were allowed to take center stage was guaranteed to be memorable. But there were also plenty of episodes like this one, where the show couldn’t seem to figure out whether or not Howard was a competent, well-meaning professional or a total and complete moron. Regardless of the individual content of each episode, there was never anything particularly subtle about Don Adams’s performance as Howard. For some episodes that worked. And, in episodes like this one, it definitely did not.

Next week, we start season 2! Two cast members say goodbye while Gordon Clapp’s Viker becomes a regular. Since season 2 is still taking place in the supermarket and Howard is still the manager, I’m going to assume that the other guy got the promotion.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.15 “A Sweathog Christmas Special”

Posted on March 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Merry Christmas from the Kotters!

Episode 3.15 “A Sweathog Christmas Special”

(Dir by Mel Stuart, originally aired on December 15th, 1977)

The Kotters are trimming the tree and getting ready to celebrate Christmas. (Before anyone points out the obvious, it’s mentioned that they also celebrated Hannukah.) Suddenly, the Sweathogs show up. Shouldn’t the Sweathogs be with their own families? Vinnie’s mother is a saint. Epstein has dozens of sisters. Horshack’s family needs him! Freddie …. well, we’ve never really met Freddie’s family but still, he has one. Then suddenly, Woodman shows up, dressed as Santa Claus! Doesn’t Woodman have a family? Actually, he probably doesn’t.

Anyway, all of this leads to everyone sharing their favorite memories and …. IT’S A FLASHBACK EPISODE!

Hey, who am I to complain? Flashback episodes are very easy to review, because nothing happens. And the clips are from episodes that have already been reviewed. It’s Easter weekend. I’m happy to have something easy to deal with.

That said, I will point out one interesting thing about this episode. Even though it aired halfway through the third season, most of the flashbacks were from the first season. We revisited the Sweathogs having a rumble in the school courtyard. We once again witnessed Vinnie searching the Kotter refrigerator and complaining about the lack of food. “Hi there,” Freddie said about a dozen times. Julie tried to get Gabe to eat her “famous tuna casserole.” “Up your nose with a rubber hose,” Barbarino said several times. Woodman cheerfully predicted the end of the world several times and it was interesting to revisit his descent into madness. We spent a lot of time revisiting the first season but there were no flashbacks to Julie finding out she was pregnant or Julie giving birth while the Sweathogs sat in the hospital waiting room. Seeing as how this was the twins’s first holiday, you would think Gabe and Julie would bring them up at some point.

It’s as if the show itself was acknowledging just how much better the first season was than the seasons that followed. Watching those season one flashbacks, it was a bit jarring to be reminded of the fact that this show started out as the fairly realistic story of a dedicated teacher who refused to give up on his remedial students. The first season was full of broad comedy but it also had a lot of heart and sincerity, which are two qualities that have been missing from much of the third season. It was nice to be reminded of the fact that the show was not always as cartoonish as it later became.

Anyway, on that note — Merry Christmas!

Oh! For those keeping track, Gabe’s pre-show joke was about his Uncle Arnold. Arnold got a hearing aid. It didn’t work well.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th 1.23 “Badge of Honor”

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week …. OH MY GOD, IT’S JOHN STOCKWELL!

Episode 1.23 “Badge of Honor”

(Dir by Michelle Manning, originally aired on July 5th, 1988)

Victor Haas (David Proval) is a club owner and also the head of Canada’s most violent ring of counterfeiters. Detective Russ Sharko (Val Avery) is obsessed with taking Victor down. Victor attempts to dissuade Sharko by using a car bomb to take out Sharko’s wife. That just makes Sharko more determined. However, when Sharko’s obsession leads to a bust-gone-wrong and a dead cop, Sharko is kicked off the force. Sharko now has to take Victor and his man down on his own. Fortunately, he happens to own an antique sheriff’s badge. When he pins the badge on someone, that person suffers a violent death.

This sounds like a job for Micki and Ryan. (Jack, again, is out of town.) However, Micki and Ryan are distracted by the arrival of Tim (played by one of my favorite 80s leading men, the superhot John Stockwell). Tim is Micki’s ex-boyfriend and soon, he and Micki are picking up where they left off. (When the season began, Micki was engaged so I guess Tim must have been the boyfriend before the fiancé.) Ryan gets jealous because — surprise! — he’s kind of in love with Micki. Of course, just a few episodes ago, Ryan was in love with a preacher’s daughter. And then, after that, he was in love with Catherine, who was murdered by an evil journalist. Ryan seems to fall in love easily so….

Actually, wait a minute. RYAN AND MICKI ARE COUSINS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, RYAN!? Of course, they’re not first cousins but still …. it just doesn’t seem right!

Anyway, at first, it seems like Ryan might be correct to be suspicious of Tim because Tim approaches Victor and offers to help him with his counterfeiting ring. But then we learn that Tim is with the FBI! Why is the FBI working in Canada? I guess maybe the show’s producers were still trying to convince viewers that Friday the 13th took place in America, despite the fact that all of the directors and most of the actors were Canadian and the show itself was clearly filmed in wintry Canada. (This episode is a bit of an oddity in that all three of the main guest stars — David Proval, John Stockwell, and Val Avery — were born in the Lower 48.) The important thing is that Tim’s a good guy but — uh oh! — Tim also gets shot and dies at the end of the episode. Micki is a little bit sad but Ryan is kind of relieved because it means he’ll have a chance to hook up with his cousin….

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL!?

This episode got a little bogged down with all of the counterfeiting stuff. It felt more like an episode of Miami Vice than Friday the 13th. The badge was also a bit of a boring antique because it didn’t really do anything other than kill people. Other antiques changed the personality of the people who owned them and demanded a quid pro quo for their powers. This antique is far more simple and kind of dull.

Oh well. It’s a less-than-memorable episode but John Stockwell was hot and I’m a bit disappointed that he apparently won’t be making a return appearance.

Next week, we meet Ryan’s father and discover that he’s not a good man at all!

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. investigates a shooting involving a retired police officer. I wonder what Amy would think of all this.

Episode 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 13th, 1990)

Bitter, retired cop E.V. Richter (J. Winston Carroll) lives alone, in a house that sits in a neighborhood that has seen better days. He spends his days drinking and his nights fighting with the teenagers who live in the neighborhood. One night, the teens are setting off firecrackers in an alley behind Richter’s house. When Richter yells at them, one of the teens starts to approach his house with a firecracker. Richter shoots him and then tries to plant a gun on the body. However, by the time the police arrive, the gun has disappeared.

The wounded teen’s mother recruits Terri and Turner to prove that her son wasn’t carrying a gun when he was shot. While Turner investigates and tries to discover what happened to the gun, Detective Dick Hargrove (David Hemblen) most deal with his own suspicion that his former colleague is not being honest about what happened.

This was an interesting episode, in that Richter was definitely the bad guy but he also had a legitimate reason to be upset. Setting off firecrackers behind someone’s house is pretty obnoxious and responding to homeowner’s complaint by trying to toss a firecracker at him is …. well, actually, it’s kind of illegal. At least, it is down here. Maybe it’s different up in Canada. Maybe in Canada, they settle disagreements with firecrackers all the time, I don’t know. That said, when Richter tries to plant the gun, he reveals that he’s gone over the edge and it becomes apparent that if he hadn’t shot the kid over the firecrackers, he would have shot him over something else. T and T will never be known as a nuanced or particularly thoughtful show but at least this episode tried to do something more than just follow the standard “Mr. T growls and beats people up” plot.

That said, I still find it weird and distracting that everyone on the show acts as if Terri has always lived in the neighborhood and has always been some sort of crusader. Two episodes into season three and there’s still been no mention of what happened to Amy or why Terri is now suddenly the one in charge. Are we meant to assume that Terri was always around but not just seen during the first two seasons? Or did something happen to Amy that required Terri to move to Toronto or wherever this show is supposed to take place? The lack of even the most rudimentary of explanations feels weird and distracting. Obviously, T and T was never a stickler for continuity but having a major character just vanish without explanation is a big deal. Shouldn’t Turner be out looking for Amy or something?

Maybe that’ll happen next week. We’ll see!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.3 “Bless The Boys In Blue”

Posted on March 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark become cops!

Episode 2.3 “Bless The Boys In Blue”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on October 2nd, 1985)

Well, here’s an episode that would never be made today.

While driving through Los Angeles, Mark talks about a story that has been in the news. A police sergeant shot a young black teenager outside of a crack house. The teenager was holding a gun but it was subsequently discovered that the gun was unloaded. The policeman has been suspended from the force. Mark, a former cop, is on the sergeant’s side. Jonathan argues that the sergeant could have tried to talk to the teenager instead of shooting him. Mark claims that Jonathan has no idea what it’s like to be a cop because he’s an angel. Mark makes the mistake of saying that he wishes Jonathan could experience what it’s actually like to be a cop.

God — or “The Boss” as the show calls him — hears Mark’s wish and makes it come true. Mark and Jonathan’s assignment is to become cops and, just to make things interesting, God takes away Jonathan’s special powers. Jonathan becomes human, once again. If Jonathan gets shot, he’ll actually get wounded. One gets the feeling that Jonathan is being punished for his pride, though the show never comes out and says it.

On the first day on the job, Jonathan tries to talk a burglar into putting down his gun and it doesn’t go well. If not for Mark surprising the burglar, Jonathan probably would have gotten shot. Having learned his lesson, Jonathan is given back his powers so that he can convince the dead teenager’s father to forgive the cop who shot him….

If any show aired an episode like this today, it would be greeted with howls of protest and those howls wouldn’t necessarily be unjustified. The episode is unabashedly pro-cop, to the extent that it doesn’t even seem to consider the countless number of police shootings that have been ruled unjustified over the years. As well, asking the teenager’s father to forgive the man who shot his son so that the man himself can work through his guilt feels incredibly selfish on the part of Jonathan.

Then again, the police that we see in this 1985 show have little in common with the police we see in 2024. For the most part, the cops in this episode walk a beat or drive around in their squad cars. They’re normal, blue collar folks who are doing their job and who do their best to be polite to everyone. There’s no body armor. No one looks like they’ve spent weeks in the gym. There’s no shaved heads or terse military-style lingo. There’s no dismissive talk of “bad guys” and “good guys.” There are no tanks rolling down the city streets. In many way, this episode feels like it’s taking place in a different reality and, to an extent, I guess it is. This episode is 39 years old but it feels like a work of ancient lore.