Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.12 “Destruction Derby”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Baker and Ponch — but mostly Ponch — get a chance to shine this episode.

Episode 3.12 “Destruction Derby”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on November 24th, 1979)

Ponch and Baker are working undercover!

That’s …. odd.  Aren’t they just members of the Highway Patrol?  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I know that being a member of the Highway Patrol isn’t easy and I don’t mean to imply that they’re not doing an important job.  But it just seems like undercover work would be something that you would give to a detective.  It seems like you would need some sort of special training to do that. For a show that, in the past, has pretty much taken a day-in-the-life approach to its stories, a sudden undercover episode just feels weird.

Ponch and Baker are working at the local demolition derby, trying to uncover a drug ring that…. I don’t know.  I guess people who sell drugs enjoy demolition derbys.  To be honest, I get the feeling that someone in production said, “Let’s shoot a bunch of demolition derby footage and then we’ll just make up something stupid to justify it.”  When it comes to the derby, Baker is working as a member of the pit crew and, of course, Ponch is the one driving the car.  And, of course, Ponch turns out to be a natural because there’s nothing that Ponch can’t master.  Ponch also falls for the only driver who can beat him, the mysterious Billy Wakefield (Angel Tompkins).  This episode is from the 70s so, of course, there’s a scene where she takes off her helmet, her long blonde hair falls across her back, and I guess everyone at home is supposed to go, “A woman race car driver!?  What is this madness!?”

Baker is not totally wasted in this episode.  He gets to save Ponch’s life when the bad guys attempt to booby trap Ponch’s car.  He also gets to play tennis with Getraer and Grossman.  This episode may feature Ponch and Baker going undercover but it seems like the real plot is just Baker and Ponch doing fun California things.  This episode basically is a commercial for the state.  Look! the episode says, Tennis!  Handball!  Demolition Derbies!  Erik Estrada!  We’ve got it all!

Erik Estrada can be seen wearing a wrist brace in this episode, which I assume is a lingering result of the accident that he’s spent the last few episodes recovering from.  I make a lot of jokes about Estrada but, from watching the last few accidents, it is obvious that he was pretty seriously injured in that stunt-gone-wrong.  That, while recovering, he appeared on camera at all seems worthy of respect.  A major theme of this episode seems to be that Ponch is back and Baker, after having the lead role for a few episodes, in once again back to being a supporting player.  Thank you for your service, Larry Wilcox.

Anyway, this episode featured a lot of fast cars and a lot of crashes so I liked it.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.20 “By Hooker by Crook”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny falls for a madame.

Episode 3.20 “By Hooker by Crook”

(Dir by Don Johnson, originally aired on March 20th, 1987)

Here I am, halfway through the third season of Miami Vice and it still amuses the Heck out of me how shocked Crockett and Tubbs are whenever their cover gets blown.

As far as  I can tell, neither Crockett nor Tubbs make much of an effort at maintaining their cover, beyond using the names Burnett and Cooper.  (Tubbs occasionally uses a fake Jamaican accent.)  They dress exactly the same as cops as they do when they’re criminals.  They hang out, in public, with the other members of the Vice Squad.  They occasionally respond to “all unit” calls, which means that anyone in the area at the time will recognize them as being cops.  Add to that, Crockett is supposedly a minor Florida celebrity, a former football star who went to Vietnam.  In short, these two have the worst covers ever but they’re still stunned when the criminals see through their “Burnett and Cooper” identities …. even though it happens in every episode!

This time, it’s George Takei, playing a viscous crime lord, who sees through their cover and orders his men to attack.  It leads to a shoot-out, much of which is filmed in slow motion.  It would be pretty exciting and dramatic, except for the fact that one of Takei’s henchmen is played Captain Lou Albano, the rubber band-wearing wrestler.  It also doesn’t help that Takei is …. well, he’s Takei.  He camps up his villain role to such an extent that it’s impossible to take him seriously as any sort of threat.  Even though he orders his men to kill an escort played by Vanity, he still comes across as being flamboyant, eccentric old George.

This episode was directed by Don Johnson and, as often happens when a cast member first tries his hand at directing, it’s filled with shots that are supposed to make you go, “Hey, this guy’s got a vision!”  The slow motion gunfight is an example of this.  An extended scene that is filmed with a fish-eyed lens (the better to represent Izzy’s point of view as he looks through a peephole) is another example.  A sex scene between Crockett and a madame who is played by Melanie Griffith is filmed in soft focus and lit in such a way that it looks like the entire set is about to burst into flame from the heat.  Johnson the director seems to be saying, “Dang, Don Johnson’s hot!”

At the time of this episode, Melanie Griffith was divorced from Don Johnson and married to Steve Bauer.  Later, she would divorce Bauer and remarry Johnson.  Johnson and Griffith do have amazing chemistry in this episode so kudos to Johnson the Director for making a good casting choice.  Johnson the actor owes him one.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.5 “The Last Of The Watermen”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

If you’re checking with the imdb and saying, “You’re reviewing these out of order!,” I’m reviewing them in the order that they were meant to air as opposed to the order by which NBC showed them.

Episode 3.5 “The Last of the Watermen”

(Dir by Richard Pearce, originally aired on December 9th, 1994)

We learn a bit more about the personal lives of Baltimore’s Homicide detectives with this episode.

For instance, we discover that Munch and Gee living in the same neighborhood.  When Gee, whose washing machine has broken down, visits the local laundromat, he’s not necessarily overjoyed to see Munch sitting there.  Munch talks and talks.  Gee lights a cigar and tries to read his newspaper in peace.  Munch keeps talking.  Gee points out that it’s the weekend and he doesn’t like to talk to anyone on the weekend.  Sunday is his day.  Munch nods and then keeps talking.  Gee stands up and moves to another part of the laundromat.

We also get to meet Kay Howard’s family.  Disgusted by the latest murder scene that she and Beau have come across and the fact that an elderly woman was murdered and her tongue was subsequently cut out and then stuffed down her throat (yikes!), Kay decides that she’s due some vacation time.  She leaves Baltimore and drives out to the local fishing village where she grew up.  She spends time with her father and her brother and a guy who she once had a romantic relationship with.  She visits her mother’s grave.  It’s interesting to see Kay outside of Baltimore and to see how she interacts with family.  It was so interesting that I was kind of annoyed that she still ended up working a murder.  A local environmental activist is murdered.  Kay worries that the murderer might have been her brother but it turns out to have been another fisherman.  I mean, I get it.  The show is called Homicide and Kay is a detective but still, I would have been just as happy if the show had just focused on her family and their rituals.  This episode is 30 years old but the scenes of the blue collar fishermen talking about how they were being “regulated” out of their life’s work still rang true.

While Kay was visiting family, Felton got a temporary new partner and you’ve probably already guessed that it was Pembleton.  This is not the first time that Pembleton has been assigned to work with Felton.  The pilot featured that classic scene of Pembleton checking car-after-car while Felton complained about Pembleton always having to be right.  Felton and Pembleton do make for an interesting team, if just because they do seem to sincerely dislike each other.  (I also enjoyed Gee’s half-smile as Pembleton reacted to the news that he would be working with Felton.)  In this case, Pembleton and Felton working together didn’t lead to any great fireworks, other than Felton reacting with shock at the idea of Pembleton preferring hockey to basketball.  The killer of the elderly woman turned out to be her grandson who said he did it because she wouldn’t stop talking.  That was sad, to be honest.  Grandmothers are supposed to talk.  Felton and Pembleton dragged the kid off to jail.

This was an okay episode.  After the emotional powerhouse of Crosetti, it was good to get something that was a bit more lowkey.  It was nice to be reminded that everyone has a family.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.9 “Bannister & Dale”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

I guess Howard’s a TV star now.

Episode 3.9 “Bannister & Dale”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on November 14th, 1987)

Mr. Dale (Paul Soles) is an old vaudevillian who now shops at Cobb’s.  He doesn’t have enough money to pay his rent so Howard gives him a job working at the store.  He doesn’t have enough money to keep his retirement home running so Howard gets Mr. Dale booked on a television show.  Mr. Dale’s old partner died in 1952 so Howard agrees to step in and….

Wait.  Howard’s a talent agent now?

Seriously, how does a grocery store manager have the connections necessary to get an obscure vaudevillian booked on a national talk show?  I mean, I get that they’re all up in Canadas and it’s a simpler place but still, it just seems like a stretch.  And really, how popular was vaudeville in the 80s?  I always see all of these old TV shows, where the characters are doing a fundraiser or something and they recreate a vaudeville act or they put on clown makeup and sing Bring In The Clowns but it never feels very realistic.

Anyway, most of the show is made up of Howard and Mr. Dale recreating Mr. Dale’s old vaudeville routines and it’s all pretty dumb.  But I will say that it was a lot easier for me buy Don Adams as an old man who remembered and loved vaudeville than as the swinging 40-something store manager that the show usually presents him as being.  Still, it’s a bit strange to imagine a national talk show setting aside time for an act featuring an old vaudevillian and a grocery store manager.  I guess that’s Canada for you.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.19 “The Gang Show”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

Gabe and Julie are gone but life continues at Buchanan High.

Episode 4.19 “The Gang Show”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on March 17th, 1979)

It’s time for the annual Buchanan High talent show and this year, Epstein and Washington are totally convinced that their lame mid-reading act is going to win.  They’ve lost every year that they’ve entered and, considering that both Epstein and Washington appears to be pushing 40, that’s a lot of failure!  Horshack and Beau talk about how their friends came in dead last during the previous show.  How does Beau know?  Beau’s the new kid.  Beau was in Louisiana or wherever he’s supposed to be from when the last talent show was held.

Epstein and Washington think that they’ve got this contest in the bag.  The judges are Horshack, Beau, and their classmate, Wilbur (Bob Harcum).  Their dedicated teacher, Jean Tremaine (Della Reese), is a bit concerned that the judges won’t be mature enough to set aside their friendships and truly honor the best act.  Maybe Mr. Kotter should talk to them….

Oh wait, Gabe isn’t in this episode.

Maybe Julie needs to cross her arms and tell the judges, “This is not funny….”

Oh wait, Julie’s not here either.

That’s right, this is another Welcome Back Kotter episode that doesn’t feature or even mention a single Kotter.  Woodman is there, making odd comments and carrying two hardboiled eggs.  (Woodman’s so cool.)  But the Kotters are gone and, for some reason, everyone’s acting like Ms. Treamaine has always been their teacher.

As for the talent show, Epstein and Washington’s act sucks.  Far more impressive is Carvelli (Charles Fleischer), who sings a blues song about peanut butter and jelly and show that there’s more to him than just being a bully.  Remember when Carvelli and Wilbur first appeared on the show and they were members of a rival gang and the implication was that both Carvelli and Wilbur had killed multiple people?  Now, suddenly, Carvelli is the king of the talent show and Wilbur is one of the judges.  It’s amazing how things change.  All they really had to do was get rid of Julie and suddenly, Carvelli is revealing himself to be a sensitive soul.

Horshack and Beau do the right thing.  They vote for Carvelli.  Wilbur votes for Washington and Epstein because he genuinely liked their dumb act.  Apparently, there were no other acts.  What a lame talent show!  Tremiane is proud of Horshack and Beau for doing the right thing.  She encourages Washington and Epstein to try again next year …. NEXT YEAR!?  Epstein’s going gray and Washington has laugh lines.  If they’re still in school next year, Buchanan needs to be shut down!

This was a weird episode.  I used to make fun of Gabe’s corny jokes but they would have been useful in this episode.  Seriously, this whole fourth season just feels wrong.  Kotter without Kotter just doesn’t work.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.14 “Remission”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s another day at the hospital.

Episode 1.14 “Remission”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on February 22nd, 1983)

A young Michael Madsen pops up in this episode, playing a hoodlum named Mike O’Connor who brings his severely beaten friend to the hospital.  This was Madsen’s first role on television and, in his very first scene and while delivering his very first televised monologue, he drops the N-word as he accuses a group of black men of beating up his friend.  Dr. Morrison is worried about whether or not Madsen’s friend is going to lose a kidney.  Meanwhile, race relations in Boston are not doing well.  What else is new?

(I remember, after the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, there was a commentator who thought he was being clever when he said, “I don’t understand why blacks stay in the South when they could just move to Boston.”  The response to his comments served as a reminder that Boston’s history of racism makes some Southern cities seem almost progressive by comparison.)

It’s interesting that Michael Madsen is the second well-known actor to appear on St. Elsewhere as a gang member.  Just a few episodes ago, Howie Mandel was chasing Ray Liotta out of the hospital.  This particular episode ended with a fight breaking out in the ER between a white gang and a black gang.  I assume this will be continued next week so I guess we still have time to see Howie Mandel pull a gun on Michael Madsen.  Seriously, it better happen.  I’m plotting the upcoming week around it.

Speaking of Dr. Fiscus, he got evicted from his apartment.  He was shocked, even though he hadn’t paid his rent in forever.  No one wants Fiscus to stay with them but, after Fiscus saved Dr. Ehrlich from getting beaten up in the ER (and no, this was not a part of the gang fight, instead it was a different fight — goldang, Boston’s dangerous!  And yes, I gave up cursing for Lent), Ehrlich agrees to let Fiscus stay with him until he gets a new place.  I imagine Ehrlich will come to regret that, especially after Fiscus showed up with Dr. Kochar and a homeless guy who had earlier helped them steer a truck out of a traffic jam.  What?  Don’t ask, it didn’t make much sense on the show either.

Dr. Cavenero has been nominated for a prestigious fellowship by Dr. Auschlander but she’s not sure if she should accept it because the fellowship would be for research and she’s not sure that’s what she wants to focus on.  Auschlander has bigger issues to deal with, as he ends up collapsing in the hospital hallway, a result of his liver cancer.  The irony that Auschlander, a liver specialist, is dying of liver cancer is not lost on Auschlander and Norman Lloyd did a wonderful job in this episode, portraying not only Auschlander’s frustration but also his gentle humor.

Also, a woman was walking around the hospital and flashing people.  She said it was because she wanted to show off that, even in middle age, she still had a good body.  That makes sense to me.  Played by Janis Page, she was somehow who was fine for a one episode storyline but I’m going to scream if this becomes a multi-episode thing, like it did with Ralph the Birdman.

This was a good episode, even if I get the feeling the whole gang thing is going to be cringey in the way that most 80s television shows tended to be whenever they tried to take on race relations.  Norman Lloyd’s heartfelt performance carried the hour.  I’m hoping the best for Dr. Auschlander.  He’s a character that I would hate to lose.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.5 “Wally”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Dick Van Dyke has a puppet show.

Episode 3.15 “Wally”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 14th, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark’s latest assignment is Wally (Dick Van Dyke), a lovable old man who lives in a box in an alley, puts on a streetside puppet show, and goes out of his way to show kindness to everyone, from a dying boy to a woman who, like Wally, is an alcoholic trying to stay sober to the blind men who line the street and ask for help from people walking by.  Wally is destined to die, at which point he’ll become an angel.  The show suggests that Wally already is angel, having devoted his life to helping other.

Let’s see …. Dick Van Dyke as a saintly, homeless, recovering alcoholic who puts on a puppet show where the puppets discuss the difficulty of being poor in America.  Look, you all know how I usually feel about this stuff.  I usually take real issue with any film or television show that I find to be overly manipulative or heavy-handed.  I’ve also mentioned more than a few times that I think a lot of films and television shows tend to idealize homelessness, an instinct born from good intentions  but one that often ignores the very real reality and which is often counter-productive.  Too often, being homeless is treated in such a sentimental manner that it actually becomes a bit insulting.  Maybe, someday, someone should ask the people who live at the bus stop across the street from the Frank Cowley Courthouse how they feel about things.  Speaking as someone who once got called all sorts of names — and yes, one of them started with a C — because she refused an offer of a drink from a bottle in a brown paper bag while she waited for the bus to take her back to the DART train station after a day of jury duty, I could tell you a few things.  (Another person who could tell you a few things is a friend of mine in Florida who got evicted from his apartment and who spent a month alternating between living on the street and in a shelter.  He told me recently that the main thing he learned from the experience is that no one helps anyone.)  When you add that Wally was being played by Dick Van Dyke, a good actor but one who can go a little overboard when cast in a serious role, you can maybe understand what I was expecting from this episode.

And, to a certain extent, I was right.  This is Highway to Heaven.  It’s not subtle show and this was not a subtle episode.  This was an episode where everyone was so charmed by Dick Van Dyke and his puppets that they would happily let him into their homes to perform for sick children but no one was willing to help him get off the streets.  This was also an episode where Wally revealed that the money he did make all went to providing a home for someone else.  This is an episode where Wally’s kindness literally heals a dying child.  This episode was sentimental, heavy-handed, and a little preachy but it worked.  The show is just so earnest and Dick Van Dyke’s performance was just so heartfelt that it cast a spell that pretty much negated all cynicism for an hour.  (Despite my fears, Van Dyke did not go overboard as Wally, giving a performance that felt genuine and heartfelt.)  This was an episode that perhaps should not have worked but it did.  It worked wonderfully.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.4 “Chasing Stads”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Bye bye, Stads!

Episode 2.4 “Chasing Stads”

(dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 30th, 1999)

After getting fired from her lifeguarding job after she follows Jason’s advice and complains about not getting promotion, Stads proceeds to accidentally burn down her apartment building when she used a faulty hair dryer.  We hear a news report that says it’s the worst “apartment building” fire in Malibu history so I’m going to guess that people died.

Stads should be going to jail on a manslaughter charge.  Instead, she hops on a plane and goes to Europe for a year.  This is the same Stads who, earlier in the show, was saying that she was flat broke.  Stads is gone and Jason is sad so he hops on a plane and joins here in Switzerland, where he gets a job working with her in a hotel.  I guess Jason’s gone now.  Yay!

Oh wait.  It turns out that Jason is dreaming of pursuing his musical career and to do that, he needs to return to Malibu because God knows it’s not like there are record companies in Europe.  Jason promises he’ll wait for Stads.  “I’m going to miss you.” Stads says.  Awww!

I, on the other hand, am not going to miss Stads because the show transformed her from being a fairly interesting character — a socially awkward lifeguard who was unlucky in love but totally capable of saving lives — into a fairly annoying killjoy whose main purpose was to roll her eyes and get mad at every single line of dialogue.  In the end, Stads represented the fact that the writers of this show had no idea how to write female characters.  In the world of Malibu CA, you could be a ditz or a …. well, I gave up cursing for Lent but you know what I’m saying.

Myself, I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of Jason suddenly showing up in Switzerland.  How did he pay for the trip?  How did he get over there so quickly?  Did he give his two-weeks at the restaurant?  Did he tell his dad or his brother?  Were they cool with him just moving to another country?  This episode certainly establishes that no one’s in high school any more so is their father okay with his two sons skipping college despite not really having any of the skills necessary to survive in the real world?  Seriously, this episode raised too many questions.

Meanwhile Lisa Jones tried to break Murray of his soap opera addiction.  It was pretty dumb.  Marquita Terry may have improved an actress since Malibu CA, I don’t know.  And let’s be honest …. it’s not like the show was really giving her great material work with.  That said, we are four episodes into the second season and her performance on the show is making Trevor Merszei and Jason Hayes look like Oscar winners.

Oy vey, this show.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.11 “Sin-Sop”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters heads down south.  No complaints from me.  I like it when things head on down.

Episode 3.11 “Sin-Sop”

(Dir by P.J. Pesce, originally aired on December 9th, 1990)

In the deep South, a young man named Brother Roy (Christopher Shaw) claims that he can literally extract the sin from people, turning it into a black sludge that can then be disposed of.  Brother Roy has the corpse of the most evil man in the world in his house.  Touching the corpse (ew!) allows for the sin to be extracted.  (This is why I prefer going to confession.)

Laura Daniel (Christine Dunford) is a reporter who is hopeful that she’ll be able to expose Brother Roy as being a fraud.  Larch Lazaar (Richard Borg) is a sociopathic murderer who shows up at Roy’s place shortly after Laura.  Laura and Lazaar are both skeptics but they’re also both about to discover the reality of sin-sop.

This was an atmospheric episode with an intriguing premise.  I’m from the South and I’ve heard the stories of the so-called sin eaters, people who would go to the homes of the recently deceased and “eat” all of the dead person’s sins, usually by eating food that had been placed near the corpse.  The deceased’s family would get the peace of mind of knowing their loved one was now without sin and the sin-eater usually got to eat a fairly large meal.  (That said, I don’t know if I’d want to eat food that had been sitting next to or, in some cases, on a decaying corpse.)  This episode makes good use of the sin eater legend and it features appropriately theatrical performances from Richard Borg and Christopher Shaw.  This was an entertaining piece of Southern Gothic.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.19 “New York, A.C./Live It Up/All’s Fair in Love and War”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you!

Episode 5.19 “New York, A.C./Live It Up/All’s Fair in Love and War”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 20th, 1982)

Poor Captain Stubing!  He’s just returned from burying an old friend named George and now, he’s thinking about his own mortality.  When he starts to feel unwell, Stubing goes to Dr. Bricker who tells Stubing that his problems are not physical.  The problem is that …. STUBING’S DEPRESSED!  Stubing decides to live each day to the fullest and good for him.  This was a simple storyline but I liked it.  I always appreciate the episodes that allow Stubing to be vulnerable without turning him into a hard-luck doofus.  In this episode, Stubing was dealing with something that almost everyone has either had to or will deal with at some point in their life.  It was also nice to see Doc Bricker giving good advice for once.  Bernie Kopell is so likable in the role that I always appreciate it when he gets to play Doc as being something other than a lech.

As for the other two stories …. agck!

Three New York friends (played by former teen idols Eddie Byrnes, Fabian, and Bobby Sherman) have boarded the cruise.  They are members of the Alimony Club.  They’re all divorced and they’ve all sworn that they’ll keep each other from marrying again.  They are a club that believes all marriages are doomed to failure.  But when Sherman’s ex-wife, Annette Funicello, boards the boat, it looks like the Alimony Club might lose a member.  And listen, I know that guys have their little rituals and their little clubs and that’s okay.  But the Alimony Club just feels weird.  It should be called the Misery Club because they seem to be more interested in keeping Bobby Sherman depressed than anything else.  I always find it odd when previously divorced couples get back together on The Love Boat.  I mean, did they forget why they got divorced in the first place?

Meanwhile, Jill St. John and Ron Ely have been having an affair for four years.  Every 12 months, they get together for a romantic getaway.  Ron says he can’t marry Jill because he’s married and has children back home.  (*cough* jerk *cough*)  Jill, who really could do better, insists that Ron leave his wife.  She even has her brother board the cruise and flirt with her (*cough*  Oh my Gosh, creepy! *cough*) to make Ron jealous.  Ron gets jealous, alright.  He beats up Jill’s brother and then reveals that he was lying about having a wife.  He’s not married …. he’s scared of commitment!  And now he’s ready to get married!  Uhmmm …. like seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?  (I gave up cursing for Lent.)  Jill — you were a BOND GIRL!  You were TIFFANY FREAKING CASE!  YOU CAN DO BETTER!

Oy vey, this episode.