What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Betrayed at 17 (dir. by Doug Campbell)

Posted on November 21, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s been too long since I did a What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night post so allow me to correct that by telling you about what I watched last night. Last night, I turned on the Lifetime Movie Network and I watched a future classic — Doug Campbell’s Betrayed at 17.

Why was I watching It?

I was watching it for two reasons. First off, I’m an unapologetic admirer of director Doug Campbell’s previous film, Accused at 17. I’m hoping that Campbell will go the trilogy route and give us a Convicted at 17 at some point in the near future. Secondly, this film was on the Lifetime Movie Network and I love LMN.

What Was It About?

Okay, there was a lot of plot to deal with here. The film starts out with scummy high school football player Greg (Andy Fischer-Price) seducing insecure virgin Lexi (Amanda Bauer) and secret recording the encounter on his laptop because, apparently, that’s the type of terrible things that 17 year-old boys do. Anyway, Greg’s got an ex-girlfriend named Carleigh (Katie Gill) and we know that Carleigh has some issues because she’s blonde, rich, drives a convertible, and says stuff to Lexi like: “I nearly ran your fat ass over.” Well, Carleigh finds out about the sex tape and gets so upset that she uploads the video to YouTube and soon, the whole school is watching it and Lexi gets so upset that she runs out into the middle of the street and gets run over by a truck.

So far, we’ve got the makings of a typical anti-bullying polemic and the film seems to be going down that route as Lexi’s mom (Alexandra Paul) demands justice for her daughter. However, then the film takes a sudden turn and just goes freaking crazy! See, Greg is feeling guilty about his part in Lexi’s death so Carleigh shows up with a gun and kills him! Then she steals Greg’s wallet and uses it to frame Lexi’s drug addict older brother (Shane Ross). So, Lexi’s mom and Greg’s mom (Paula Trickey) team up to try to take Carleigh down.

By the way, did I mention that Carleigh’s Dad is apparently in the Mafia? Well, I’m not sure if he actually is but he certainly acts like he is…

Seriously, this is a deceptively simple movie that’s really quite odd and compulsively watchable in the best Lifetime tradition.

What Worked?

In many ways, this film epitomized everything that I love about a good Lifetime film. It took a serious issue (bullying, in this case) and then explored it in the most melodramatic, over-the-top, tawdry, and silly way possible.

Just the title itself — Betrayed at 17 — is genius. Seriously, when you’re 17, everything is such a drama! Or at least it was for me. And I can remember that everything — and I do mean everything — was framed through the lenses of nonstop, over-the-top melodrama. Whether it was some other girl talking to “my man” or my best friend failing to answer her phone or any of the countless arguments that I had with my mom over things that seem so amazingly unimportant now, it was always all about being and feeling betrayed.

Finally, while this film is full of histrionic dialogue, there’s one scene that manages to perfectly capture the excruciating awkwardness of being in love when you’re in your teens. Greg, while admiring Lexi’s legs, asks her about a scar. “I cut myself shaving,” Lexi replies. Now, believe it or not, I had almost the exact same conversation when I was 17 and this film got it right.

What Didn’t Work?

Well, originally this looked like it was going to be yet another mawkish, if well-intentioned anti-bullying polemic but once people started drawing guns on each other and desperately trying to take out security cameras, it all worked. This was two hours of pure, silly Lifetime goodness.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moment:

Oh my God, a few! Listen, what 17 year-old girl didn’t get filmed having sex with a jock or accidentally end up shooting her ex-boyfriend? Seriously, that’s just a part of growing up.

Lessons Learned:

1) Guns are dangerous. So are videos of your ex having sex with some other girl. Put them together and inevitably, someone’s going to end up dead.

2) Fortunately, it’s apparently very easy and simple to frame someone for murder. So, if you haven’t done it yet, hurry up before things get complicated.

Film Reviews: The Skin I Live In (dir. by Pedro Almodovar) and Take Shelter (dir. by Jeff Nichols)

Posted on November 15, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In terms of film, the horror genre has never gotten the respect that it undeniably deserves. Afterall, some of the most effective trends in cinema (German expressionism, for instance) first had their start in the horror genre. However, most critics seem to be more comfortable just dismissing most horror films as being a bunch of predictable tropes and easy shocks as opposes to admitting that the horror genre is one that is rich with history, subtext, and importance. Right now, there are two horror films playing the art houses of America and they are both more than worth your time. Those films: Pedro Almodovar’s The Skin I Live In and Jeff Nichols’s Take Shelter.

In The Skin I Live In, a weary-looking Antonio Banderas plays a world-renowned plastic surgeon who, unknown to all of his colleagues, has trapped a young woman in his sprawling estate. With the help of his devoted servant Marilla (Marisa Paredes), he keeps the woman (played by Elena Anaya) a total prisoner while continually experimenting on her in his efforts to create a new type of skin that is immune to bug bites and being burned. However, Anaya — who has been held prisoner for six years — is desperate to escape and is even willing to engage in self-mutilation in her effort to make things difficult for Banderas. Finally, while Banderas is out, Marilla’s psychotic son (a terrifying Robert Alamo) shows up at the estate and, convinced that he knows the young woman, tries to kidnap her for his own.

In between the scenes involving the strange experiments going on at the estate, another story plays out as Antonio Banderas exacts a disturbing revenge on the young man (Jan Cornet) that Banderas holds responsible for the death of his daughter. The film’s two stories eventually intersect in a surprising yet disturbingly logical way.

As a director, Almodovar often pays homage to other, similarly iconic filmmakers and The Skin I Live In feels like a combination of the over-the-top melodrama of Douglas Sirk (right down to the film’s “hero” being a doctor) and the unapologetic sordidness of Jesus Franco. This is especially evident in the film’s big, surprise twist; a twist that manages to be both ludicrous and compelling at the same time. (I should also note that, at the showing I went to, the twist inspired about a fourth of the people in the theater to leave.) The end result is a creepily effective, thought-provoking horror film that is both deliberately absurd and touched with a strain of undeniable melancholy.

As opposed to the baroque The Skin I Live In, Take Shelter takes place in the deceptively mundane American midwest. Michael Shannon plays Curtis, a soft-spoken construction worker who suddenly finds himself haunted with terrifying nightmares of an incoming apocalypse. The nightmares always start with rain and, as the film unfolds, they grew progressively more and more disturbing. Soon, he’s seeing shadowy figures wearing hospital gowns standing out in the rain, waiting to attack him and even worse, he starts to see visions of his friends and family waiting to attack him. Is Curtis seeing the future or has he simply inherited his mother’s schizophrenia?

The genius of the film is that, up until the final scene, you’re not quite sure. I’ve seen a lot of nightmares in a lot of horror films and I can usually spot them long before the inevitable scene of the film’s hero waking up in bed with a shout. Take Shelter is full of nightmares and they all follow the same basic theme but they are so effortlessly woven into the film that they still take you by surprise long after they shouldn’t. As a viewer, you find yourself relating to Curtis because, like him, you’re never quite sure what’s real and what’s just in his mind. The film forces us to try to figure out whether Curtis is scared because he’s crazy or is he going crazy because he’s scared.

The film’s apocalyptic visions reminded me a lot of Peter Weir’s somewhat similar film, The Last Wave. However, both director Jeff Nichols and star Michael Shannon manage to make this story their own. Shannon is in nearly every scene of the film and he gives a performance that’s both dramatic and subtle. In the past, whenever Shannon’s played a mentally ill character (Revolutionary Road, The Runaways), I’ve always felt he’s come really close to caricature. However, in this case, he gets it right and brings a real sense of reality and urgency to the film. Also giving good performances: Kathy Baker (as Curtis’s mother) and Jessica Chastain (who plays Shannon’s wife).

The horror genre may never get the respect it deserves. However, films like The Skin I Live In and Take Shelter are here to let us know that horror remains a vibrant genre that will not be ignored.

8 Quickies With Lisa Marie: 13 Assassins, Bunraku, The Double Hour, Jig, Meek’s Cutoff, Of Gods and Men, One Day, and There Be Dragons

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As part of my continuing effort to offer up a review of every 2011 release that I’ve seen so far this year, here’s 8 more quickie reviews of some of the films that I’ve seen over the past year.

1) 13 Assassins (dir. by Takashi Miike)

The 13 Assassins are a group of samurai who are gathered together to assassinate a sociopathic nobleman in 19th Century Japan. As directed by Takashi Miike, this is a visually stunning film full of nonstop, brutal action and Miike powerfully contrasts the old school honor of the 13 Assassins with the soulless evil of their target.

2) Bunraku (dir. by Guy Moshe)

There are some films that simply have to be seen to believed and Bunraku is one of those films. In the aftermath of a global war, guns have been outlawed but this attempt at social engineering has just resulted in greater societal collapse. Nicola (Ron Perlman) is the most powerful man on the East Coast but he lives life in paranoid seclusion and instead sends out nine assassins to enforce his will (his main assassin being Killer No. 2, played by a super stylish Kevin McKidd). Two strangers ( a drifter played by Josh Hartnett and a samurai played by Gackt) arrive in town and, with the help of a bartender played by Woody Harrelson, they team up to destroy the nine assassins and ultimately Nicola himself. Bunraku, which comes complete with an ominous narrator and sets that look like they belong in a Lars Von Trier film, is a glorious and fast-paced triumph of style over substance, an exciting and fun celebration of the grindhouse films of the past. With the exception of a miscast Demi Moore (playing Perlman’s mistress), the film is very well-acted but it’s completely stolen and dominated by Kevin McKidd, who can poke me with his sword any time he wants.

3) The Double Hour (dir. by Giuseppe Capotondi)

It took The Double Hour about two years to make it over here from Italy and when it did finally play in American arthouse theaters, it really didn’t get as much attention as it deserved. That’s a shame because the Double Hour is a pretty entertaining mystery-thriller that’s full of twists and turns and which features an excellent performance by Kseniya Rappoport as an enigmatic hotel maid. It hasn’t been released on region 1 DVD or blu-ray yet but apparently, there’s some interest in doing an American remake which will probably suck.

4) Jig (dir. by Sue Bourne)

Jig is a documentary that follows several competitors at the 40th Irish Dancing World Championships held in Glasgow in 2010. I always try to be honest about my personal biases and I have to admit that one reason why I absolutely loved this film is because I not only love to dance but I love Irish stepdancing in specific and, as much as I love ballet, stepdance will always hold a special place in my heart. I’m not quite sure how to put it into words other then to say that it just makes me incredibly happy as both a participant and a watcher. For me, Jig captured that joy as well as showing just how much dedication and sacrifice it takes to truly become proficient at it. This film — much like Black Swan — made me dance.

5) Meek’s Cutoff (dir. by Kelly Reichardt)

I’ll never forget going to the Cinemark West Plano and seeing Meek’s Cutoff last May. The theater was nearly deserted except for me, Jeff, an elderly couple, and two women who were, in their appearance and manner, almost stereotypically upper middle class suburban. As the film’s frustratingly ambiguous conclusion played out on-screen and the end credits started to roll, one of the women angrily exclaimed, “WHAT!? Well, that won’t win any Academy Awards!” In many ways, Meek’s Cutoff is a frustrating film. Based on a true story, it follows a group of 19th century settlers as they try to cross the Oregon Trail while following a guide (Bruce Greenwood) who might be totally incompetent. Plotwise, not much happens: the settlers kidnap an Indian and demand that he lead them to water, Michelle Williams plays a settler who doubts that any of the men in the party know what they’re doing, and everyone continues to keep moving in search of … something. The film is, at times, really frustrating and I think it’s been overrated by most critics but, at the same time, it remains an oddly fascinating meditation on life and fate. Add to that, both Greenwood and Williams give good performances and the film’s cinematography is hauntingly beautiful and desolate at the same time.

6) Of Gods and Men(dir. by Xavier Beauvois)

Of Gods and Men is a quietly powerful and visually stunning French film that’s based on the true story of 7 Trappist monks who were kidnapped from their monastery and murdered by muslim rebels during the Algerian Civil War. The film imagines the final days of the monks and attempts to answer the question of why they didn’t flee their monastery when they had the opportunity to do so, but instead remained and chose to accept their fate as martyrs. This meditative film also features excellent performances from Lambert Wilson and Michael Lonsdale and avoids the trap of both easy idealization and easy villainy.

7) One Day (dir. by Lone Scherfig)

This is another one of those films that was dismissed by almost every critic except for Roger Ebert and you know what? For once, I’m going to agree with Roger. I absolutely loved One Day and I think that all the haters out there need to take a chance on romance and stop coasting on the easy cynicism. One Day follows the love affair of a writer (Anne Hathaway) and a TV personality (Jim Sturgess), visiting them repeatedly on the same day over the course of 20 years. The film starts with them as college students having a wonderfully awkward one night stand and it ends with Sturgess and their son walking up a beautiful green hill and it made me cry and cry. Hathaway and Sturgess have a wonderful chemistry together and the film also features some good supporting performances from Patricia Clarkson (as Sturgess’ dying mother) and Rafe Spall (bringing humanity to the thankless role of being the “other guy.”) This is one of the most deliriously romantic films that I’ve ever seen and I loved it. So there.

8 ) There Be Dragons (dir. by Roland Joffe)

There Be Dragons came out in May and it didn’t get much respect from the critics. I’ve also read that it was considered to be a box office failure, which is odd because I seem to remember that it was actually in theaters for quite some time. Anyway, There Be Dragons is an oddly old-fashioned war epic that attempts to mix the fictional story of a Spanish revolutionary (played by Wes Bentley) with an admiring biopic of the founder of Orpus Dei, St. Josemarie Escriva (played by Charlie Cox). The two stories never really seem mix and instead, they just coexist uncomfortably beside each other. It doesn’t help that Wes Bentley gives one of the worst performance of 2011. On the plus side, Charlie Cox gives a good and believable performance as Escriva and the film looks great. The film is so sincere in its desire to make the world a better place that its hard not to regret that it doesn’t succeed.

Lisa Marie Does J. Edgar (dir. by Clint Eastwood)

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Friday, as I was watching the new Oscar contender from Clint Eastwood, J. Edgar, something rather odd happened.

Without giving out in spoilers, here’s what was happening on screen: Leonardo DiCaprio (playing J. Edgar Hoover, the first director of the F.B.I.) had just offered a job to Clyde (played by Armie Hammer). Clyde — who we’ve been told has “no interest in women” — accepts on the condition that he and Edgar have lunch and dinner together everyday. As soon as Clyde gave his condition, I heard it.

“UGGGGGGH!”

“EWWWWWW!”

“DAMN, UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!”

It was coming from several rows behind us so I glanced over my shoulder and, brushing a strand of my naturally red hair out of my eyes, I saw the source of all this commentary. Two men, sitting on the top row. Judging from their bull necks and the globby roundness of their bodies, they were former athletes-turned-movie-critics. They both wore baseball caps and there was an empty seat between them which, as I know from years of observing the odd social rituals of the male species, probably meant that they had come to the film together but they were too scared of accidentally touching arms to actually sit next to each other. (Seriously, what’s up with that?) Anyway, I held my perfectly manicured middle finger to my lips, gave them a nice, long “shhhhhhhhhh!,” and then turned back to the movie.

A bit later into the film, Leonardo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer had a violent wrestling match which ended up with DiCaprio kissing Hammer.

And oh my God, you would have thought that the world was ending.

“EWWWWWWWWWW!” it started.

“GAWD, MAN! GAWD!” it continued.

“UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“THAT’S SICK, MAN, SICK! UGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!”

And it just kept going. “EWWWWWWWWW! GAWD, DISGUSTING! EWWWWW!”

All of this from the same two idiots. I again looked over my shoulder at them, gave them my little “shhhhh!” command but I doubt they noticed because one of them was staring at the ceiling while punching the chair in front of him while the other was staring at the floor, shaking his head and going, “DAMN, MAN! DAMN!”

And, I do not kid, this went on for like the next 15 minutes.

(Incidentally, this is only point in the film in which DiCaprio is seen to actually kiss anyone.)

Here’s a few random thoughts inspired by these two “gentlemen:”

1) Did the two gentleman not know which film they had bought tickets for?

2) Did they not know that J. Edgar is a biopic about J. Edgar Hoover, a man who most historians seem to agree was probably gay?

3) Were the two men illiterate or had they just not bothered to read any of the literally hundreds of reviews of J. Edgar, the majority of which mentioned that J. Edgar Hoover is assumed by many to have been gay?

4) Were these two guys — both of whom appeared to be a lot older than me — unaware that J. Edgar Hoover was gay? Because, seriously, I knew he was gay before seeing the film and I’m a part of the notoriously ignorant Wikipedia generation that knows nothing and is proud of it.

5) Did not the fact that J. Edgar has been advertised as being “the latest film from the writer of Milk,” not clue them into the possibility that this film might feature at least one gay character?

6) Finally — is this not 2011? I mean, did these two guys just wake up one day in pre-Project Runway America, found themselves a time machine, and then decided to transport themselves to 2011 just so they could see a movie?

Seriously, guys, some people are gay. Deal with it.

As for the movie itself, it’s definitely an improvement over Eastwood’s last film, the absolutely awful Hereafter. It’s a long movie but it doesn’t drag and, even though it’s a bit too self-conscious in its attempts to be a “great film,” it still has its entertaining moments. DiCaprio, Hammer, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Donovan and Naomi Watts all give excellent performances and DiCaprio’s “old age” makeup is actually a bit more effective than you’d guess from the trailer.

That said, J. Edgar shares one major flaw with Hereafter and it’s a big one. Both films attempt to use several different stories to paint one big picture and, in both cases, all of the different stories simply fail to come together. The sequences in which J. Edgar is a young man searching for the Lindbergh Baby and railing against gangsters are exciting and consistently interesting. However, the scenes in which Hoover — now an old, paranoid man — struggles to write his memoirs and attempts to blackmail Martin Luther King, are heavy-handed, predictable, and ultimately rather cartoonish.

The end result is a film that is always watchable and frequently fascinating but also one that is also fatally uneven and ultimately frustrating. It’s nowhere close to being the best film of the year but it is one of the more interesting.

Lisa Marie Adopts Puss In Boots (dir. by Chris Miller)

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A few days ago, I finally went and saw Puss in Boots, the new animated entry into the Shrek franchise and a film that has spent (at least) two weeks at the top of the box office. Now, before I launch into my review, I should admit that I’m biased. I love cats, I love fairy tales, I loved all of the Shrek movies (even the ones that weren’t that good), and I love Antonio Banderas. Puss in Boots is one of my favorite characters of all time and I fully expected to love this movie. And you know what?

I did love it.

Taking place before Shrek, Puss in Boots follows the titular feline (voiced by Antonio Banderas, who seriously deserves some sort of Oscar for Best Sexy Voice) as he swashbuckles his way across Far Far Away. Reuniting with his childhood friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianikis, and not Jonah Hill as I assumed while listening to his voice durin the film) and with the equally skilled cat thief Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek), Puss finds himself stealing magic beans from the notorious outlaws Jack and Jill (Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris) and using the resulting beanstalk to help Kitty and Humpty to steal the goose that lays the golden eggs. Along the way, we also get some flashbacks to Puss’s kittenhood at the orphanage and oh my God!, is it ever adorable.

Puss In Boots is a pretty simple film and, to be honest, it’s almost too simple. There’s none of the subversive satire or subtext that distinguished the best of the Shrek films. But then again, as a character, Puss in Boots has little of the existential angst that defined Shrek and, as a film, Puss in Boots probably makes the right decision to just keep things simple, cute, and fun. When all is said and done, the main appeal of Puss in Boots is that he’s a cute little kitty who acts like a cute little kitty and who sounds exactly like Antonio Banderas. He’s an adorable character and here, he stars in an adorable movie and that’s more than enough to make me happy.

6 Trailers For The 12th of November

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hello to everyone out there in the real world! Because of some family obligations, I’m having to do a bit of a rush job on this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers. As such, I fear my commentary is probably a lot less witty this time around. I apologize and promise to be a lot funnier next week. Until then, feel free to supply your own witty commentary to go along with the trailers.

1) Zandalee (1991)

To be honest, I’ve never seen this movie but Jeff says that this is one of his favorite films of all time and just from watching the trailer, I think I can guess why. As a sidenote, check out the split second appearance from Steve Buscemi, looking all young and kinda hot in his weasel-like why.

2) The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover (1977)

Not to be confused with the current Leonardo DiCaprio film. I get the feeling that the Private Files Of J. Edgar Hoover is probably a lot more fun.

3) The Evil (1978)

It’s not just evil … it’s THE EVIL!

4) 976-Evil (1988)

Continuing the theme, here’s something called 976-Evil. Landlines are the devil’s refuge.

5) Don’t Go In The Woods (1981)

“Don’t…don’t…don’t…don’t…” Seriously, though, this movie looks so bad but I’ve read reviews from several people who insist that it’s just bad enough to secretly be good. Why is everyone always carrying those gigantic backpacks in these movies? How did people put them on their backs without tipping over? That’s just one reason why you’ll never catch me camping. The other, of course, is that I have no desire to wake up out in the middle of nowhere and discover a chupacabra staring back at me.

6) Battletruck (1982)

The title pretty much says it all.

Finally, in conclusion, this is the 70th entry in my series of grindhouse film posts. It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve done so many because I’ve enjoyed putting this 70th post together just as much as I enjoyed doing the first. I hope you’ve enjoy watching them as much as I enjoy putting them together. As much as I love trailers, I love getting your feedback regarding them even more. Thank you for continuing to read what I write and put up with me in general and, as always, stay supple! Je t’aime, mon ange.

6 Quickies With Lisa Marie: Atlas Shrugged, Beautiful Boy, Crazy Stupid Love, The Devil’s Double, Sarah’s Key, and Water For Elephants

Posted on November 11, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For my first post-birthday review post, I want to take a look at 6 films that I saw earlier this year but, for whatever reason, I haven’t gotten a chance to review yet. My goal has been to review every single 2011 release that I’ve seen this year. So far, I’ve only seen 106 2011 films and I still need to review 21 of them. So, without further ado, let’s “gang bang this baby out” as a former employer of mine used to say. (*Shudder* Seriously, what a creepy thing to say…)

1) Atlas Shrugged, Part One (dir. by Paul Johansson)

What to say about Atlas Shrugged, Part One? When I recently rewatched it OnDemand with a friend of mine who had just gotten back from Occupying somewhere, he threw a fit as soon as he heard wealthy 1 percenter Graham Beckel declaring, “I am on strike!” When I first saw it earlier in the year, in a theater full of strangers, they broke out into applause when they heard the same line. Atlas Shrugged is a wonderfully divisive film. If you’re a political person, your enjoyment of this film will probably come down to which news network you watch. If you enjoy those MSNBC spots where Rachel Maddow won’t shut up about the freakin’ Hoover Dam, you’ll probably hate Atlas Shrugged. If you truly believe that Fox News is “fair and balanced,” chances are you’ll enjoy it. But what if you’re like me and the only politics you follow are the politics of film and you only bow at the altar of cinema? Well, I enjoyed Atlas Shrugged because the film really is a grindhouse film at heart. It’s an uneven, low-budget film that has a few good performances (Beckel and Taylor Schilling), several bad performances, and ultimately, it goes totally against what establishment films have conditioned us to expect when we go to the movies. Ultimately, the film is a big middle finger extended at both the film and the political establishments and who can’t get behind that? Add to that, Roger Ebert hated it and when was the last time he was right about anything?

2) Beautiful Boy (dir. by Shawn Ku)

I’ve read a lot of rapturous reviews of this film online and my aunt Kate loved it when she saw it at the Dallas Angelika earlier this year. So, admittedly, when I watched this film via OnDemand, I had pretty high hopes and expectations but, unfortunately, none of those expectations came anywhere close to being met. In the film, two of my favorite performers — Michael Sheen and Maria Bello — play the middle-class parents who have to deal with the consequences (both emotional and physical) of a terrible crime perpetrated by their son. The film is based on the Virginia Tech massacre and both Sheen and Bello give excellent performances but overall, the film feels like a thoroughly shallow exploration of some various serious issues. Ultimately, the film’s refusal to provide an explanation for the crime feels less like a brave, artistic choice and more like a cop-out. The film is less abstract than Gus Van Sant’s Elephant and Denis Villeneuve’s Polytechnique but it’s also a lot less effective.

3)Crazy, Stupid Love (dir. by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra)

I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive Steve Carell for abandoning The Office and forcing upon me the current, almost painful season of the show. Still, I can’t totally blame him because the guy is totally a film star and he proves it in Crazy, Stupid Love by holding his own with other certifiable film stars like Ryan Gosling, Kevin Bacon, Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore, and Emma Stone. In the film, Julianne Moore plays Carell’s wife who leaves him for a coworker (played by Kevin Bacon, doing his charming jerk routine). The depressed Carell is taken under the wing of womanizer Gosling who teaches Carell how to be more confident and appealing. Things seem to be working out well until Gosling starts going out with Carell’s daughter (played by Emma Stone). The movie, itself, isn’t anything special and it’s really kind of a mess but it’s saved by a massively appealing cast. And, by the way, Ryan Gosling —très beau! Seriously.

4) The Devil’s Double (dir. by Lee Tamahori)

Taking place in pre-Desert Storm Iraq, The Devil’s Double claims to tell the true story of Latif Yahia, an Iraqi who was forced to serve as the double for the sociopathic young dictator-in-training Uday Hussien. I’ve read that there’s some debate as to how faithful The Devil’s Double is to the facts of the story and it is true that Latif is portrayed as being almost too good to be true but no matter. The Devil’s Double is a compelling and oddly fascinating little gangster film, one that manages to show the dangerous appeal of the excessive lifestyle of a man like Uday Hussien without ever actually being seduced by it. The film is dominated by Dominic Cooper, who gives a great performance playing both the tortured Latif and the cheerfully insane Uday.

5) Sarah’s Key (dir by Gilles Paquet-Brenner)

Sarah’s Key tells two stories at once and, the result, is a film that feels very schizophrenic in quality. The better part of the film deals with Sarah, a 10 year-old Jewish girl living in Nazi-occupied France. When Sarah and her parents are sent to a concentration camp, her younger brother is left behind in Paris. Sarah eventually manages to escape and desperately tries to get back to Paris to rescue her brother. Meanwhile, in the modern-day, a journalist (Kristen Scott Thomas) researches Sarah’s story and discovers that her French husband’s family has a connection of their own with Sarah’s story. The film is compelling and heart-breaking as long as it concentrates on Sarah but, unfortunately, the modern-day scenes feel forced and predictable and the end result is a film that’s never quite as good as it obviously could have been.

6) Water For Elephants (dir. by Francis Lawrence)

Look, I make no apologies — I freaking loved this movie. Yes, plotwise, this film feels almost like a parody and yes, so much of this film was over-the-top and kinda silly but I don’t care. I loved this film for the old-fashioned, melodramatic, and rather campy spectacle that it is. Robert Pattinson plays a Depression-era Ivy League college student-turned-hobo who ends up joining the circus and falling in love with Reese Whitherspoon, the wife of insane circus owner, Christoph Waltz. Pattinson isn’t much of an actor but he’s easy on the eyes and he and Whitherspoon have just enough chemistry to remain watchable. The film, however, is totally dominated by Waltz who is both charming and scary. The next time your man makes you sit through anything starring Jason Statham, you make him watch Water for Elephants.

Billy Crystal and the Holy Grail?

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, here I was all excited and everything because I had an excuse to start another one of my never-ending polls and what happens? Less than 24 hours after I set up my poll asking you who you think should replace Eddie Murphy as the host of next year’s Oscar ceremony, Billy Crystal tweets that he’s got the job.

Seriously?

They couldn’t just leave us in suspense for an extra day or two?

Anyway, Billy Crystal isn’t really a surprising choice as people were mentioning his name from the minute Murphy stepped down. However, he is a rather boring choice and I guess that the show’s producer, Brian Grazer, has decided not to do the whole “edgy” thing. Which is probably a good thing since the Academy Awards version of edgy tends to be … well, it’s hard to say what it is but it’s distinguished by smoothed corners and a definite lack of sharp edges.

I guess what I’m saying is that the Oscars are a big round table and apparently, Billy Crystal is going to be King Arthur next year. Though, according to our poll, you would have much rather seen either myself or the Muppets holding court.

Here Are The 18 Films Eligible For Best Animated Feature Film

Posted on November 5, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone! Well, I am in a much better mood than I was when I wrote my last post and that’s because I just remembered that November is the start of Oscar season! Yay!

Now, I know that a lot of people make a big deal about how little they care about the Oscars and they always sit around and bitch about how such-and-such movie didn’t win and how the Academy always honors mediocrity and the Academy is biased towards the mainstream and blah blah blah blah blah. As I explained many times last year, I am aware of all of this and I don’t care. On an annual basis, the Oscars prove themselves to be a big, tacky, spectacular train wreck and I love them!

Anyway, as Oscar season slowly creeps to life (it won’t really be here until the various critic groups start handing out their equally silly awards in December), the Academy has released the list of the 18 films that have qualified to compete for the title of Best Animated Film. Since there are 18 contenders, that means that we’ll actually have five nominees this year as opposed to just three and I for one say, “Yay!” to that. Whenever I see only three films listed in a category, I have flashbacks to trying to understand the concept of the Holy Trinity.

Anyway, here are the contenders:

The Adventures of TinTin

“Alois Nebel”

“Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked”
“Arthur Christmas”
“Cars 2”
“A Cat in Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Gnomeo & Juliet”
“Happy Feet Two”
“Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil”
“Kung Fu Panda 2”
“Mars Needs Moms”
“Puss in Boots”
“Rango”
“Rio”
“The Smurfs”
“Winnie the Pooh”
“Wrinkles”

I have to admit that this has been kind of a strange year for animated films, largely because, as my fellow contributor Leonard Wilson once pointed out on twitter, this is the first year in which it appears that Pixar might not have a contender. I recently saw Cars 2 and did not shed a tear and quite frankly, going to a Pixar film and not crying is a bit like going to New Orleans, flashing your boobs, and not getting any beads. It just makes you question everything. Winnie the Pooh made me cry. So did Rango and Kung Fu Panda 2 for that matter. I haven’t seen Puss In Boots yet but I expect I’ll love it because it’s about a cat and I love cats. However, I have a feeling that the award will be given to Adventures of TinTin just to keep Steven Spielberg from throwing a hissy fit after War Horse fails to live up to expectations.

6 Trailers To Prevent Me From Getting Into One Of My Bitchy Moods

Posted on November 5, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I am so freaking depressed right now. Why? Because, as I sit here typing this, I am about to embark on my last weekend as a carefree, hedonistic young woman. That’s right. I’ve kinda sort got a birthday (bleh) on November 9th. Yes, I’m a Scorpio. Are you surprised? Anyway, getting older means getting boring and that really sucks and I’ll just leave it at that. Let’s see if a new edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers can cheer me up.

1) Survive (1976)

From director Rene Cardona, Jr. comes “the most shocking episode in human survival!” This is why I hate to fly. Well, that and intrusive security measures… (True story: when me and my sisters went to Italy, all four of us were patted down and frisked by the grabby fascists at DFW and it was such a demeaning experience that I ended up crying during the entire subsequent flight.)

2) The Hideous Sun Demon (1959)

It’s thermo-dynamic horror from outer space! Sometimes, I wish I had been born in 1942 or ’43 so that I could have had the experience of seeing trailers like this every single day but then again, I’d also probably be really old right now. Plus, my name would probably be something like Vivien because I like to think that my mom would have named me Vivien Leigh.

3) The Asphyx (1973)

This trailer is about death, which is what I’ll be one step closer to on the 9th.

4) The Wraith (1986)

Apparently, even Charlie Sheen was young once.

5) The Fury (1979)

I recently watched this one on DVD and I have to give this trailer an aging nod of approval because it actually makes the film look kinda sorta exciting. It’s actually one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen.

6) Cat People (1982)

Watching this trailer makes me wish I could turn into a cat and live forever.

Well, I’m sorry to say that the movies cannot stop the march of time, regardless of how much I wish they could. But at least they do make my time here just a little bit more bearable.