It’s the holidays and, as a result, I haven’t had much time to watch television this week. In fact, outside of the stuff that I watch for my Retro Television Reviews, I only watched three shows this week.
All In The Family (YouTube)
On Friday night, my friend Pat suggested checking out the 1976 Christmas episode of All In the Family, in which a draft-dodging friend of Mike’s visits from Canada. He shows up at the Bunker household, right on Christmas day! At the same time, a friend of the Archie Bunker’s is visiting. Pinky lost his son in Vietnam.
Now, really, the whole conflict in this episode could have been avoided if the draft dodger had just kept his mouth shut when Archie started asking him what was so great about living in Canada. But the dodger felt that he had to reveal the truth about why he went up north. Archie wanted to kick him out but Pinky was understanding and forgiving.
This was a well-acted episode with a powerful message but I do have to admit that I could kind of see Archie’s point. It’s his house! He’s the one who paid for the Christmas dinner that they’re all eating. If he doesn’t want to have a draft dodger sitting at the table in his house and eating the food that he paid for, that’s actually Archie’s right. Still, I’m glad that Archie didn’t kick the draft dodger out because the guy actually was reasonably polite and everyone should have some place to go on Christmas.
Why would anyone agree to hold a charity event at Hell’s Kitchen? That’s what I found myself wondering as I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday. Surely, they’ve seen enough episodes of this show to know that they’re going to be running the risk of getting raw chicken and rubbery scallops.
Anyway, I was sad to see Donya go. I think the only reason Ramsay is keeping Jason around is for the drama. Go Ryan!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
It’s time for a new school year and a new addition to the Kotter family!
Episode 3.2 “And Baby Makes Four, Part One”
(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on September 15th, 1977)
This episode opens with the sad scene of Gabe Kotter staring at himself in the bathroom mirror and telling himself a joke about his Uncle Charlie. Even Gabe is not impressed with the joke and tells himself that he needs to be more funny. Poor, Gabe!
Watching this scene, I was reminded of all the stories I’ve read about how much Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman disliked each other and how Strassman apparently really couldn’t stand having to listen to and laugh at Kaplan’s jokes. Apparently, by the time the third season rolled around, the hostility between Kaplan and Strassman was so pronounced and obvious that even the actors playing the Sweathogs were forced to take sides, with Ron Pallilo siding with Strassman, Robert Hegyes and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs siding with Kaplan, and John Travolta trying to get along with everyone. On the one hand, the opening scene here once again reminds us that Gabe is compulsive joke teller. On the other hand, it’s hard not to feel that it was written to give Strassman a break from Kaplan.
Of course, the very next scene features Gabe and Julie awkwardly interacting, as Gabe tells the very pregnant Julie everything that she should do if she goes into labor while Gabe is at school. Gabe tells Julie to call a cab, call the school and tell Woodman and then Gabe will call Dr. Melman and they’ll all meet at the hospital. Julie assures Gabe that she’s not due for another week but Gabe says that he’s not sure that the baby knows that. He then tells a joke to the baby while Julie grimaces.
It’s the first day of school! Horshack is super excited while Epstein and Washington are still thinking about the fun they had during the 1977 New York City blackout. (Epstein gave lemonade to “people running with a TV set.” Washington “ran with a TV set.”) Barbarino is not at all excited because, just before school began, he received a letter telling him that he was going to have to repeat the 10th Grade. Barbarino explains that he skipped the exam that all the students were required to take to be promoted into the next grade but he thought that Mr. Kotter was going to handle it for him.
(Myself, I’m just shocked to learn that the Sweathogs were only supposed to be in the 10th Grade when the show began. Considering that Horshack and Epstein both appear to be in their 30s, Washington appears to be in his mid-twenties, and Barbarino looks like he’s around 20, I’m going to guess that getting held back is not necessarily a new experience for this group.)
Determined not to be held back, Barbarino decides to sit in the classroom as if nothing has happened and he’s been promoted with the rest of the Sweathogs. When Gabe arrives, he’s not surprised to see Barbarino in his classroom, mostly because Gabe doesn’t know that Barbarino was held back. It’s not until Woodman, ordered by Principal Lazarus to personally welcome back each class, steps into the room that Barbarino’s status at a 10th Grader is revealed.
Gabe is shocked to hear that Barbarino was held back. Barbarino says that Gabe was supposed to take care of it. Gabe says that he did when he arranged for Barbarino to take a makeup exam. But Barbarino thought that, when Gabe said he would take care of it, Gabe would sneak into the principal’s office and fix the records Barbarino didn’t realize he still actually had to take the test and now, his dreams of being “a doctor …. or a longshoreman” have been put at risk.
Woodman laughs maniacally as Barbarino leaves the classroom. Hitting his breaking point, Gabe kicks Woodman out of the classroom and tells him to stop interrupting his class.
Rather than go to his new classroom, Barbarino goes to the Kotter apartment, where he tells Julie about his problems. Julie is a bit more concerned with the fact that she’s having contractions. When she gets out her suitcase and calls for a cab, Barbarino worries that she’s leaving Gabe. When she says she’s going to the hospital, Barbarino worries that his story made her sick.
Meanwhile, Woodman — banned from entering Gabe’s classroom — uses the PA system to let him know that Julie has gone into labor. Gabe rushes from his classroom, accompanied by Horshack, Washington, and Epstein. I kind of doubt Julie is going to be happy to see the Sweathogs at the hospital but whatever. Julie’s stuck with them in her life.
And so ends Part One of this special three-part episode! This episode was a bit uneven. The scene between Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman felt a bit strained, largely due to the fact that the two of them could obviously barely stand to look at each other while delivering their lines. John Travolta was charming as Barbarino but his co-stars were all obviously getting a bit old to still be playing high school students. As always, John Sylvester White made me laugh with his portrayal of Woodman’s growing insanity. The studio audience was very loud as they went out of their way to make sure that anyone watching knew how much they loved John Travolta.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 2023’s MEGAN!
If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, Micki and Ryan visit the country and battle a killer scarecrow! Yikes!
Episode 1.11 “Scarecrow”
(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 1st, 1988)
While Jack is off in Europe searching for a cursed antique, Micki and Ryan head into the country. They’ve recently received a letter from someone requesting that they come to a small rural town and collect the scarecrow that was bought from their shop years ago.
Seriously, do people usually buy scarecrows from antique shops? I mean, I always thought that half the fun of having a scarecrow was getting to build it yourself. And even if you didn’t want to build your own scarecrow, I imagine that you would probably go to a country store to buy one as opposed to heading into the city and going to an antique store.
No matter, though. Even if it doesn’t make much sense to buy a scarecrow from an antique store, the scarecrow is undeniably scary. Of course, when Micki and Ryan arrive in the town, the farmer who bought the scarecrow lies and says that someone set it on fire three years ago. However, the viewer knows that the scarecrow not only still exists but that it comes to life at night and kills people with a scythe! Every harvest, the scarecrow beheads three people and, as a result, the owner of the scarecrow has a good crop while everyone else in the town is struggling to make ends meet.
The viewer also knows that the villain of the story is Marge Lonacre (Patricia Phillips), the rather severe-looking owner of the town’s only inn. Even if the episode didn’t show us Marge activating the scarecrow early on, it would be easy to guess that she is the villain because everything about Marge — from the way she dresses to the way she glares at people to the abrupt way that she speaks — screams villainy. Oddly enough, it takes Micki and Ryan forever to figure out that Marge is the villain, even though they’re staying in Marge’s inn and Micki witnesses the scarecrow depositing a dead body on Marge’s front porch. In fact, for some reason, Micki gets into her head that the helpful sheriff (Steve Pernie) is the killer and she even locks him in a closet so that he can’t keep her from running back to the inn. Ryan and Micki are both likable and Micki’s fashion sense is to die for but, without Jack around to guide them, neither of them is a particularly effective investigator.
While searching for the scarecrow, Ryan bonds with the son of one of the scarecrow’s victims, which leads to some nicely-acted moments from John D. LeMay. I mention this because Friday the 13th, much like Nightmare Café, was always at its best when it explored the humanity of its lead characters. For all of the violence that Micki and Ryan have witnessed, they’re still trying to make the world a better and nicer place and it’s hard not to admire that.
This was an effective episode, one of that was full of creepy atmosphere and which featured one truly scary scarecrow. I think even Jason Voorhees would have avoided this country town!
The nominations for the Black Reel Awards were announced today. The winners will be announced on January 13th, 2024.
Outstanding Film
American Fiction
The Color Purple
Origin
Rustin
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Outstanding Lead Performance
Fantasia Barrino – The Color Purple
John Boyega – They Cloned Tyrone
Colman Domingo – Rustin
Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor – Origin
Jamie Foxx – The Burial
Kelvin Harrison Jr. – Chevalier
Michael B. Jordan – Creed III
Teyana Taylor – A Thousand and One
Sophie Wilde – Talk To Me
Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction
Outstanding Director
Blitz Bazawule – The Color Purple
Ava DuVerney – Origin
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
Michael B. Jordan – Creed III
A.V. Rockwell – A Thousand and One
Outstanding Supporting Performance
Erika Alexander – American Fiction
Danielle Brooks – The Color Purple
Sterling K. Brown – American Fiction
Viola Davis – Air
Colman Domingo – The Color Purple
Jamie Foxx – They Cloned Tyrone
Taraji P. Henson – The Color Purple
Jonathan Majors – Creed III
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers
Jurnee Smollett – The Burial
Outstanding Screenplay
A Thousand and One
American Fiction
Origin
Rustin
They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Documentary
American Symphony
Kokomo City
Little Richard: I Am Everything
Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé
Stamped From The Beginning
Outstanding International Film
Brother (Canada)
Our Father, the Devil (Cameroon)
Rye Lane (UK)
Outstanding Ensemble
American Fiction
The Blackening
The Color Purple
Rustin
They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Voice Performance
Ariana DeBose – Wish
Ayo Edebiri – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Brian Tyree Henry – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Daniel Kaluuya – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Shameik Moore – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Outstanding Independent Film
A Thousand and One
All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
Earth Mama
How I Learned To Fly
Rye Lane
Outstanding Short Film
ALIVE IN BRONZE: Huey P. Newton
Birthing A Nation: The Resistance of Mary Gaffney
Black Girls Play: The Story of Hand Games
The Dads
The Last Repair Shop
Outstanding Emerging Director
Blitz Bazawule – The Color Purple
Raven Jackson – All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
Cord Jefferson – American Fiction
A.V. Rockwell – A Thousand and One
Juel Taylor – They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Breakthrough Performance
Halle Bailey – The Little Mermaid
Fantasia Barrino – The Color Purple
Danielle Brooks – The Color Purple
Jerrod Carmichael – Poor Things
Archie Madekwe – Gran Turismo
Phylicia Pearl Mpasi – The Color Purple
Tia Nomore – Earth Mama
Vivian Oparah – Rye Lane
Dewayne Perkins – The Blackening
Teyana Taylor – A Thousand and One
Outstanding First Screenplay
A Thousand and One
American Fiction
All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
The Color Purple
Earth Mama
Outstanding Score
Jon Batiste – American Symphony
Kris Bowers – Chevalier
Kris Bowers – The Color Purple
Brandford Marsalias – Rustin
Desmond Murray & Pierre Charles – They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Original Song
“Am I Dreaming” – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
“It Never Went Away” – American Symphony
“Keep It Moving” – The Color Purple
“My House” – Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé
“Road to Freedom” – Rustin
Outstanding Soundtrack
The Color Purple
Creed III
The Little Mermaid
Rustin
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Outstanding Cinematography
All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt
Earth Mama
Kokomo City
Rye Lane
Silver Dollar Road
Outstanding Costume Design
Air
The Color Purple
Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé
Rustin
They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Editing
The Color Purple
Kokomo City
Origin
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
They Cloned Tyrone
Outstanding Hairstyling & Makeup
A Thousand and One
Air
Bottoms
The Color Purple
Rustin
Outstanding Production Design
Chevalier
The Little Mermaid
Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé
Rustin
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
The Phoenix Critics Circle has announced its pick for the best of 2023 and, despite the heat being generated for Oppenheimer and Killers of The Flower Moon by other regional groups, it named Past Lives as best picture of the year!
The winners are listed in bold:
BEST PICTURE
THE HOLDOVERS
KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
OPPENHEIMER PAST LIVES
POOR THINGS
THE ZONE OF INTEREST
BEST COMEDY FILM
AMERICAN FICTION
ASTEROID CITY
BARBIE
BOTTOMS THE HOLDOVERS
BEST SCIENCE FICTION FILM
ASTEROID CITY
THE CREATOR
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3
INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY
INFINITY POOL THEY CLONED TYRONE
BEST HORROR FILM
EVIL DEAD RISE
NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU TALK TO ME
THANKSGIVING
WHEN EVIL LURKS
BEST ANIMATED FILM
THE BOY AND THE HERON
ELEMENTAL SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM
WISH
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
ANATOMY OF A FALL
FALLEN LEAVES
GODZILLA MINUS ONE
PERFECT DAYS THE ZONE OF INTEREST
BEST DOCUMENTARY
20 DAYS IN MARIUPOL
AMERICAN SYMPHONY
BEYOND UTOPIA
THE MISSION STILL: A MICHAEL J. FOX MOVIE
BEST ACTOR
BRADLEY COOPER – MAESTRO
LEONARDO DICAPRIO – KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
PAUL GIAMATTI – THE HOLDOVERS
BARRY KEOGHAN – SALTBURN CILLIAN MURPHY – OPPENHEIMER
JEFFREY WRIGHT – AMERICAN FICTION
BEST ACTRESS
LILY GLADSTONE – KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
SANDRA HÜLLER – ANATOMY OF A FALL
GRETA LEE – PAST LIVES
NATALIE PORTMAN – MAY DECEMBER
MARGOT ROBBIE – BARBIE EMMA STONE – POOR THINGS
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
WILLEM DAFOE – POOR THINGS ROBERT DOWNEY JR. – OPPENHEIMER
RYAN GOSLING – BARBIE
MARK RUFFALO – POOR THINGS
DOMINIC SESSA – THE HOLDOVERS
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
EMILY BLUNT – OPPENHEIMER
PENELOPE CRUZ – FERRARI
RACHEL MCADAMS – ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME, MARGARET.
JULIANNE MOORE – MAY DECEMBER
ROSAMUND PIKE – SALTBURN DA’VINE JOY RANDOLPH – THE HOLDOVERS
BEST DIRECTOR
GRETA GERWIG – BARBIE
JONATHAN GLAZER – THE ZONE OF INTEREST YORGOS LANTHIMOS – POOR THINGS
CHRISTOPHER NOLAN – OPPENHEIMER
MARTIN SCORSESE – KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
CELINE SONG – PAST LIVES
BEST SCREENPLAY
GRETA GERWIG AND NOAH BAUMBACH – BARBIE DAVID HEMINGSON – THE HOLDOVERS
CORD JEFFERSON AND PERCIVAL EVERETT – AMERICAN FICTION
TONY MCNAMARA AND ALASDAIR GRAY – POOR THINGS
CELINE SONG – PAST LIVES
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY HOYTE VAN HOYTEMA – OPPENHEIMER
MATTHEW LIBATIQUE – MAESTRO
RODRIGO PRIETO – BARBIE
RODRIGO PRIETO – KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
ROBBIE RYAN – POOR THINGS
LUKASZ ZAL – THE ZONE OF INTEREST
BEST SCORE
JERSKIN FENDRIX – POOR THINGS LUDWIG GÖRANSSON – OPPENHEIMER
MICA LEVI – THE ZONE OF INTEREST
DANIEL PEMBERTON – SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE
ROBBIE ROBERTSON – KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
The New York Film Critics Online have announced their picks for the best of 2023.
And here they are:
Best Picture: “Killers Of The Flower Moon“ Best Director: Christopher Nolan – “Oppenheimer“ Best Actor: Cillian Murphy – “Oppenheimer“ Best Actress: Sandra Hüller – “Anatomy Of A Fall“ Best Supporting Actor: Mark Ruffalo – “Poor Things“ Best Supporting Actress: Da’Vine Joy Randolph – “The Holdovers“ Best Screenplay: Justine Triet & Arthur Harari – “Anatomy Of A Fall“ Best Animated Feature: “Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse“ Best Cinematography: Hoyte van Hoytema – “Oppenheimer“ Best Use of Music: “Barbie“ Best Documentary Feature: “The Eternal Memory“ Best Foreign Language: “Anatomy Of A Fall“ Best Debut Director: Celine Song – “Past Lives” Breakthrough Performer: Charles Melton – “May December“ Best Ensemble Cast: “Oppenheimer“
Top 10 Films (in alphabetical order) American Fiction (Amazon MGM)
Anatomy Of A Fall (Neon)
The Holdovers (Focus Features)
Killers Of The Flower Moon (Apple Original Films, Paramount Pictures)
Maestro (Netflix)
May December (Netflix)
Oppenheimer (Universal)
Poor Things (Searchlight)
Past Lives (A24)
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (Sony Pictures Entertainment)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Amy, T.S. and Joe get involved in a — ugh — hostage situation!
Episode 2.9 “Hostage”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on November 28th, 1988)
Fleeing from the police after a botched robbery, two sweaty crooks, Rook (Lawrence King) and Larry (Angelo Rizacos), duck into Don’s Sporting Goods and end up holding 8 people hostage, including Amy and Joe! What a scary situation! These eight Canadians probably just wanted to buy new hockey jerseys and now, they’re being held hostage!
The police, of course, are ineffectual. T.S. tracks down the ex-wife of one of the men but she can’t convince him to come out of the store. The two crooks don’t want to go back to prison so they’ve demanded a lot of money and a plane and they’ve given the Toronto police only two hours to meet their demands. Inside the store, Amy tries to reason with them. Rook knows that things have gone too far and that they need to surrender to the police. But Larry is sweaty and violent and determined to escape with the money.
I groaned a bit when I saw what this episode was going to be about. I absolutely dread sitting through anything that involves hostage negotiation. There’s really not much that can happen in a story like this, other than the hostage takers doing a lot of yelling and the negotiators saying, “You’re going to have to give us more time!” It’s really not much fun to watch people getting guns pointed at their heads while some loser rants and raves about how he’s going to pull the trigger unless he gets what he wants. With the exception of Dog Day Afternoon, hostage taking is usually pretty boring to watch.
Probably the biggest mistake that this episode makes is that it sidelines T.S. Turner for much of the action. The main appeal of T and T is the chance to watch and hear Mr. T take down the bad guys. T.S. spends the majority of this episode just standing around and only he gets to call one person “brother.” Finally, during the final few minutes, T.S. ends up crawling around in the building’s loft so that he can break through the ceiling and take out the hostage takers but, by the time he does, the two criminals have already turned on each other. For once, it falls not to T.S. to capture the main bad guy but for the bad guy’s accomplice to shoot him in the back.
All in all, this was a disappointing episode. Amy failed to talk the criminals into giving themselves up and T.S. failed to capture the criminals by himself. What is Canada even paying these two for?
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix has got one of my favorite Christmas movies, 1947’s Miracle on 34th Street!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Miracle on 34th Street is available on Prime! See you there!