Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, the Island is kind of dull. Tattoo is missed.

Episode 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on November 19th, 1983)

Love is in the air again at Fantasy Island! Remember when this show used to feature mermaids and Greek Gods and ghosts and gothic mansions and stuff like that? Those were good times!

Kate Tucker (Cristina Ferrare) comes to the Island to confront her husband, Gary Tucker (Geoffrey Scott, the quarterback from 1st and Ten), about his infidelity. Roarke decides to bring Gary’s mistress, Helen (Michelle Phillips, who once played the mermaid on this very show), to the Island as well! It’s all a part of Roarke’s plan to show both women that Gary’s not worth all the trouble. Kate realizes she doesn’t want Gary and Helen doesn’t want him either. Kate leaves the Island a single woman. Good for her!

Meanwhile, widowed Joan (Dorothy McGuire) comes to the Island and falls for handsome Alan Reynolds (Craig Stevens). Joan’s son (Stuart Damon) is upset at the idea of Joan marrying someone else. Eventually, he comes to see the error of his ways and smiles as Joan and Alan find happiness.

This may have been an episode of Fantasy Island but it felt more like The Love Boat. Roarke helped everyone find true love and Lawrence …. Lawrence was just kind of there. At this point, I kind of feel that, if they were determined to get rid of Tattoo, they should have just had Roarke running the Island by himself. Lawrence’s presence doesn’t accomplish anything beyond making the viewer miss Tattoo.

This was a pretty forgettable trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.7 and 6.8 “The Spoonmaker Diamond/Papa Doc/The Role Model/Julie’s Tycoon”

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episodes 6.7 and 6.8 “The Spoonmaker Diamond/Papa Doc/The Role Model/Julie’s Tycoon”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on November 13th, 1982)

The Love Boat is going to Greece and Turkey!

Well, actually, it’s the Love Boat crew that is going to Greece and Turkey. They’ve been asked to temporarily take over another ship and, of course, Captain Stubing said yes. This is one of those two-hour Love Boat episodes where the action was actually shot on location and on a real cruise ship. As such, it’s more of a travelogue that anything. We get to see the sights of both Greece and Turkey and no one makes any jokes about Midnight Express.

The majority of the storylines revolve around the Spoonmaker Diamond, a very valuable diamond that has been stolen by someone on the ship. Was the diamond stolen by Emmett and Ellen Stokes (Harvey Korman and Nancy Dussault)? Was the diamond stolen by Mark Hayward (Mike Connors)? That’s what Inspector Sadu (Jamie Farr) is trying to figure out! Of course, regardless of who stole it, it ultimately ends up in the unknowing possession of travel agent Dana Pierce (Polly Bergen). Will Mark steal the diamond or will he fall in love with Dana? Why can’t he do both? This was an odd story because you had the goofiness of Harvey Korman and Jamie Farr and then you had the grouchy intensity of Mike Connors. Connors seemed to be under the impression that he was appearing on a hard-boiled crime show as opposed to an enjoyably silly comedy about a cruise ship.

Meanwhile, Sabrina Drake (Jan Smithers) is a young heiress who is traveling with her mother, Amanda (Alexis Smith). Amanda is not happy when she sees that tabloid reporter Joe Novak (Kiel Martin) is also on the cruise. She’ll probably be even less happy when she discovers that Amanda is 1) secretly seeing Joe and 2) is pregnant. When Doc finds out that Sabrina is pregnant, he offers to marry her. Why not? He’s known her for two days and he’s in love. Fortunately, Joe talks to Amanda and wins Amanda’s blessing for his relationship with Sabrina. Doc remains single.

Speaking of marriage, Greek tycoon Gregori Pananopolis (Lorenzo Lamas) asks Julie to marry him. Julie is stunned and says she needs some time to think it over. She tells Captain Stubing that she’s not sure if she’s ready to get married. Uhmm …. Julie, this like the third or fourth guy who had asked you to marry him on this show. You’ve nearly gotten married twice. It’s odd how the show always acts as if marriage proposals aren’t a recurring theme when it comes to Julie. Fortunately, Julie stays single because we all know she’s destined to eventually marry Doc. Or Gopher, maybe.

Fashion photographer Cliff Jacobs (David Hedison) runs into his ex-wife, model Monica Brandon (Linda Evans). He lies about having landed a job with a magazine in order to get her to pose for him. He also takes some pictures of Vicki posing amongst the ruins of Greece. Later, a magazine contacts him and offers to make Vicki into a star but he and Monica decide not to tell Vicki because they don’t want her to have to deal with pressure of being a model. Hey Cliff and Monica, that’s really not your decision to make. I’m sure being a model would be no less detrimental to Vicki than spending her entire youth on a cruise ship with people who are several decades older than her.

As I said at the start of the review, this episode worked best as a travelogue. None of the stories were particularly intriguing but the scenery was lovely. Even Turkey looked like a nice place to visit!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.8 “Lillian Russell/The Lagoon”

Posted on September 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Episode 5.8 “Lillian Russell/The Lagoon”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 28th, 1981)

Tattoo is in this episode, which means that Julie only appears long enough to tell Mr. Roarke that she’s going to busy exploring the island with a bunch of hunky professors. (It says a lot about how poorly the Julie character has been developed that I couldn’t tell if Julie was supposed to be naive or clever when it came to going off with the men.)

At this point, it’s obvious that Julie was only added to the show to act as insurance in case Herve Villechaize walked off the set. Early on in the season, when Herve was apparently negotiating for a better contract, Julie had a few episodes where she was Roarke’s main assistant while Tattoo was described as being elsewhere on the island. But in the episodes where Tattoo is present, Julie always has to go do something else for the weekend. Ironically, Julie is such a bland and unnecessary character that it actually proves Herve Villechaize’s point about how important Tattoo was to the success of the show. By having Julie always leave whenever Tattoo is present, the show really only reminds the viewer that Roarke only needs on assistant and it’s Tattoo.

As for this week’s fantasies, they both have to do with the past.

Calvin Pearson (Claude Akin) has just spent years in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. He’s finally been released and, understandably, he really doesn’t want to have much to do with the rest of the world. When he was a child, he spent a summer on a nearby island with his father. His father was fisherman and Calvin claims that he once caught a fish that could sing. Calvin wants to spend the weekend on the Island and he wants to catch the same serenading fish.

Sound like a pretty simple fantasy, right? Well, Calvin is not happy to discover that the he’s not alone on “my island.” There’s now a trading post, run by Jake Dutton (Broderick Crawford) and his daughter, Mira (Pamela Susan Shoop). Even worse, there are some recently escaped convicts (led by Glenn Corbett) who want to kidnap Mira! At first, Calvin refuses to get involved. He just wants to fish. But, in the end, he finally does the right thing and saves the Duttons.

What about the “serenading fish?” Calvin may not have caught a fish but he did capture the heart of Mira, who hums a tune that she says she once heard out on the lagoon. Calvin leaves the Island alone but he tells Roarke that he plans to return so that he can work at the trading post with the Duttons.

This fantasy was a bit predictable and you really do have to wonder why Roarke insists on nearly getting his guests killed every week. It seems like that would lead to a lawsuit. But the fantasy does feature a good performance from Claude Akin as a man who manages to conquer his own bitterness.

As for the other fantasy, it features Phyllis Davis as a writer named Lilly Martin who wants to write a book about the singer Lillian Russell. Roarke sends her back to 1890s New York and literally transforms Lilly into Lillian Russell, complete with singing talent and two notorious suitors, “Diamond Jim” Brady (Gene Barry) and Peter Whiting (Craig Stevens). This fantasy was enjoyable eye candy, with Lilly getting to dress up as Lillian Russell and getting to wear all sorts of jewels. Unfortunately, it’s also a fantasy that ends with a poker game. I’ve never been able to follow poker and I always groan a little whenever the plot of a show hinges on the outcome. Whenever people start talking about “bluffing” and “royal flushes,” and all that, my eyes just glaze over and that was the case here.

That said, at least Mr. Roarke got to take part in Lilly’s fantasy, popping up not once but three times to see how everything was going! In fact, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo also popped up in Calvin’s fantasy. It’s always fun when Roarke drops in.

The poker game aside, this was an enjoyable trip to the Island. Season 5 has been a bit uneven but this was one of the better episodes.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.9 “Sanctuary/My Late Lover”

Posted on January 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 4.9 “Sanctuary/My Late Lover”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on January 3rd, 1981)

This week brings us two fantasies, neither one of which quite works.

Thomas Henshaw (Bobby Sherman) is a man who does not initially appear to be too happy to be on Fantasy Island. That’s because someone has poisoned him and he only has a day or two to live. His fantasy is to go the Sanctuary, an exclusive resort for killers, and track down his assassin. Henshaw has got one clue, a strand of hair that he found on his clothing. All has to do is find someone who has the same hair. This would make perfect sense in a world where only one person had light brown hair. It make less sense in the real world or, for that matter, even on Fantasy Island.

Mr. Roarke gives Thomas Henshaw a serum that will prolong his life for a few days. Henshaw goes to the Sanctuary, where he immediately finds himself being menaced by Sid Haig! Sid plays the bad guy’s henchman. There’s a scene where Thomas attempts to grab a strand of Sid’s hair and instead pulls off his wig. Sid does not look particularly amused by the whole thing.

Thomas meets and falls for Tessa (Morgan Brittany), who is basically owned by one of the assassins. Thomas changes his fantasy, telling Mr. Roarke that he just wants Tessa to be free, even if that means that he loses his chance to track down the killer. Mr. Roarke agrees to the change but no worries. Thomas still manages to track down his assassin and learn the name of the poison. (He also snatches a strand of hair off of the bad guy’s head and declares, “It’s the same!” DNA testing used to be so simple!) Mr. Roarke and the Fantasy Island cops show up and arrest the killer and also provide an antidote to Thomas. Thomas lives and leaves the Island with Tessa.

The main problem with this fantasy is that Bobby Sherman was extremely miscast, giving a performance that was so mild that you never once believed he could be at the center of a murder-for-hire scheme. Michael Cole, who plays one of the assassins, perhaps would have been believable as Thomas Henshaw. For that matter, if the show’s producers and writers had really been willing to think outside the box, it would have been interesting to see Sid Haig play a sympathetic role on Fantasy Island. But Bobby Sherman is just too bland for this type of story.

The other fantasy is also, sad to say, a bit bland. Anastasia Decker (Eva Gabor) is a wealthy widow who is trying to choose between three suitors. Complicating matters is the ghost of Anastasia’s husband, the charming Dex (Gene Barry). Dex keeps popping up and pointing out all of the flaws in the men who want to replace him. Anastasia cannot emotionally move on. Finally, Anastasia decides she wants to be with Dex so she tries to drive her car over a cliff! Luckily, Ghost Dex is able to magically stop the car in mid-air and return it to the road. Anastasia realizes that, of her suitors, nerdy-but-nice Walter (Craig Stevens) is the one who truly loves her and that’s who she leaves the Island with. Dex returns to the afterlife, happy in the knowledge that Anastasia will be able to move on.

I like it when Fantasy Island deals with the supernatural but this particular fantasy was so bland that not even a tap-dancing ghost could liven things up. Eva Gabor tried her best but this fantasy was the type of story that the show had already done several times in the past. Despite effective performances from Gabor, Barry, and Stevens, it was just a bit too familiar to be effective.

Well, this was a disappointing trip to the Island. Hopefully, the plane will bring something more interesting next week!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.26 “April’s Return/Super Mom/I’ll See You Again”

Posted on August 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s cruise features Cyd Charisse!

Episode 2.26 “April’s Return/Super Mom/I’ll See You Again”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on May 5th, 1979)

This episode’s writers would want us to believe that the most important thing that happens during this cruise is that April Lopez (played by Charo) returns to the ship. During the first season, April was introduced as a stowaway who managed to charm the entire crew despite traveling illegally. With the help of Captain Stubing, April has gone on to become the cruise line’s most popular entertainer and this week, she’s returns to the Love Boat!

The crew is super-excited because April is such a vivacious force of energy. Or, at least, she was. When she shows up on the boat, she seems to be feeling a bit down. As she explains it to Julie, April has discovered that show business is not all that it’s cracked up to be and that it’s full of lecherous men. (Shocker!) April has decided that she would rather be a cruise director. Julie agrees to show April what the job entails and …. well, it turns out that Julie actually has a pretty easy job. She just goes to Acapulco Lounge at night, spots people who are alone or shy, and offers to dance with them. I do that on a regular basis. I should be a cruise director.

Anyway, April eventually realizes that she makes people happy by performing. Charo was a popular guest star on The Love Boat and, unlike a lot of other actors who appeared in multiple episodes, she always played April. (In this episode, she sings the show’s theme song.) In many ways, Charo was the epitome of The Love Boat, in that her act was meant to be both sexy and old-fashioned at the same time. The Love Boat was a show where everyone on the boat was constantly looking to get laid but the camera still cut away as soon as the cabin door closed and it was understood that sex on the boat would always lead to marriage on dry land. It was a show with the customs of the 70s and the morals of the 50s.

The episode spends a lot of time on April’s search for happiness. Personally, I was more excited by the fact that Cyd Charisse was on the boat. Cyd Charisse is one of my favorite dancers of all time and was one of my personal role models when I was younger. From the minute that Charisse boards the boat, the cameras are focused on her legs, which were just as spectacular as they were 20 years earlier in Singin’ In The Rain and Silk Stockings. Charisse plays Eve Mills, a former USO entertainer who, by an amazing coincidence, happens to be on the same cruise as the man that she fell in love with during World War II, Frank Pearse (Craig Stevens). By another amazing coincidence, Frank just happens to be an old friend of Captain Stubing’s!

Anyway, Frank and Eve recognize each other and they eventually work up the courage to approach each other. Eve thought Frank was killed in the war. Frank thought that Eve ignored all the letters that he sent her while he was recovering from being wounded in action. (It turns out the letters were never mailed because Frank’s nurse was in love with him.) Frank is still in love with Eve but he sees that she’s accompanied by a handsome young Frenchman named Francois (Stephen Schnetzer). Eve reveals to Frank that Francois is not her boyfriend. Instead, Francois is her son! And guess who Francois’s father is? (Really, the fact that he was named Francois should have given it away.)

Finally, Bud (Jerry Stiller) and Margaret (Anne Meara) are on their second honeymoon but, unfortunately, they’ve had to bring along their four bratty kids (one whom is played by a very young Corey Feldman). Bud wants to have a good time. Margaret keeps worrying about the kids. Bud gets a dance lesson from April, which leads to Margaret getting jealous. Don’t worry, they work it out. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara were adorable together but this story was stressful for me to watch, just because the kids were so hyperactive and never stopped running around. Still, the image of Charo teaching Jerry Stiller how to dance feels like it should be enshrined in a museum devoted to the 1970s.

This episode seemed to exist because the show’s producers really liked Charo and it’s hard not to feel that the rest of episode’s storylines were just treated as being afterthoughts. That said, I enjoyed the Cyd Charisse/Craig Stevens story. Stevens was stiff and dull but Cyd Charisse was Cyd Charisse and that’s all that really matters!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 2.21 “Yesterday’s Love/Fountain of Youth”

Posted on May 9, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s time to take a trip to Fantasy Island!

Episode 2.21 “Yesterday’s Love/Fountain of Youth”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 17th, 1979)

Tattoo has the hiccups so Mr. Roarke pops a brown paper bag beside his head and scares the Hell out of him. Tattoo loses his hiccups and Roarke get the joy of tormenting his assistant.

As for the fantasies, they both involve youth and aging.

Charles (Craig Stevens) and Peggy Atwood (Eleanor Parker) met in 1944, when he was in the Navy and she was a member of the USO. Now, over thirty-years later, Charles wants to open a bait shop and Peggy wants to get a divorce. Their children pay for Charles and Peggy to take a trip to Fantasy Island, where Mr. Roarke has recreated the period in which they first met. He’s also invited all of their old friends to come celebrate Peggy and Charles’s anniversary. Unfortunately, one of those friends is the totally arrogant Brick Howard (Guy Madison), to whom Peggy was engaged before meeting Charles. It quickly becomes apparent that Brick wants a second chance and that, unlike Charles, Brick has bigger plans than spending his retirement selling fishing bait.

Will Peggy leave her husband for Brick Howard? Or will she decide that running a bait shop sounds like a great way to spend her twilight years? You’ll have to watch the show to find out …. or you can read the next paragraph.

Of course, Peggy stays with Charles! It wouldn’t be Fantasy Island if the ending wasn’t a happy one. Add to that, when has anyone named Brick Howard not turned out to be a cad? As you can guess, this fantasy was a bit predictable but the cast of veteran actors were all likable and they gave it their all. This fantasy was simple but pleasant.

As for the other fantasy, world-famous explorer Jeff Bailey (Dennis Cole) needs money so Mr. Roarke arranges for him to be hired by aging millionaire J.J. Pettigrew (Lew Ayres). J.J. has heard rumors that the fabled Fountain of Youth can be found on an island near Fantasy Island. He offers to pay Bailey a million dollars if he can find it. Of course, Bailey does find the Fountain but he also discovers that the Fountain is guarded by a fierce tribe of headhunters. The headhunters have no intention of allowing anyone else to have any of the water’s fountain. The headhunters may be intimidating but they also believe that a polaroid camera can steal their soul. Bailey threatens to take all of their pictures at one point and tells them that J.J. possesses “white man magic.” Seen today, it’s a bit awkward to watch. To be honest, I imagine it was a bit awkward in 1979 as well.

Using his canteen, Bailey steals some of the water from the fountain but, while he and his girlfriend (Mary Louise Weller) are fleeing the natives, he loses the canteen. J.J. has a heart attack and appears to be dead but, at the end of the episode, Roarke announces that J.J. is expected to survive and he’s written Bailey a check for a million dollars. Bailey found the fountain and that was their agreement. So, I guess that all worked out.

Overall, this episode was uneven. The anniversary story was sweet but predictable. The headhunter story was sometimes cingey but still enjoyably campy. This was pretty much a standard episode of Fantasy Island. Still, I can’t help but wonder why J.J. didn’t just buy an eternal youth fantasy instead of hiring Bailey to search for the fountain. I guess that question is destined to be forever unanswered.

Next week’s episode is all about comedians and prisoners!

Retro Television Reviews: The Elevator (dir by Jerry Jameson)

Posted on January 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1974’s The Elevator! It can be viewed on YouTube!

Marvin Ellis (Roddy McDowall) hates his job. He’s been assigned to be the manager of a new high-rise office building. Parts of the building are still under construction but that hasn’t stopped the company that owns it from selling out office space. When Mrs. Kenyon (Myrna Loy) comes by and asks to look at the top floor penthouse, Ellis agrees. In public, Ellis is always friendly and always courteous. It’s only under the most stressful of circumstances that Ellis reveals that he feels as if the building has been built of out lies and cheap material.

Ellis and Kenyon soon find themselves in a stressful situation when they are trapped in an elevator. Of course, they’re not alone in the elevator. There’s also Dr. Reynolds (Craig Stevens), his wife (Teresa Wright), and his mistress (Arlene Golonka). And then there’s Robert Peters (Barry Livingston), a teenager who has inherited a fortune. And finally, there’s Eddie Holcomb (James Farentino). Eddie has a suitcase full of money that he’s stolen from an office in the building. He’s also got a loaded gun. And, perhaps worst of all, he has an intense fear of tight places. The longer that he’s trapped in the elevator, the worse his claustrophobia becomes.

Because the building isn’t really finished yet, the elevator’s alarm button doesn’t really work. Other than the passengers trapped inside, the only people who know about the stalled elevator are Eddie’s partners-in-crime. Irene (Carol Lynley) is Eddie’s girlfriend and she just wants to get the situation resolved with as little violence as possible. Pete (Don Stroud) is Eddie’s sociopathic friend. Pete is not only determined to rescue Eddie and retrieve the suitcase. He’s also determined to take care of any potential witnesses by killing everyone on the elevator.

The Elevator is a disaster film, along the lines of Airport and The Towering Inferno. Due to the hubris of a faceless corporation, a group of people find themselves trapped in a potentially catastrophic situation. Some of them react with bravery. Some of them react with cowardice. All of them get a chance to reveal a bit of who they are on the inside. Some might say that being trapped in an elevator is not quite as bad being trapped in a fiery skyscraper or being a passenger on a airplane that’s being held hostage by a mad bomber. Technically, they’re right but I am also going to admit right now that I absolutely hate elevators and I try to avoid them whenever I can. I always say that this is because running up and down several flights of stairs is a good way to keep my legs looking good and certainly that’s part of it. But an even bigger reason is that I dread the thought of being stuck in a confined space with a bunch of strangers. If I was on an elevator that was stuck between floors, I would probably lose my mind. I have a hard enough time just standing in line for longer than 3 minutes. As directed by Jerry Jameson, The Elevator does as good job of capturing the feeling of being trapped in a small space. It’s not a film to watch if you have claustrophobia.

As for the cast, Myrna Loy is a delight as the eccentric Mrs. Kenyon. And seriously, how can you dislike any film that gives Roddy McDowall a monologue about how much he hates skyscrapers? It’s an entertaining, if undemanding, film. After watching The Elevator, I’ll keep taking the stairs.

Horror On TV: Ghost Story 1.13 “Time of Terror” (dir by Robert Day)

Posted on October 13, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of Ghost Story stars Patricia Neal as a woman who wakes up one morning in a hotel and discovers that her husband is missing. She’s told that her husband checked out without her but no one will give her a straight answer as to where he went.

This episode was written by Jimmy Sangster, who also wrote several Hammer films. It originally aired on December 22nd, 1972.

Darkness on the Edge of Town: WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS (20th Century Fox 1950)

Posted on April 19, 2016 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

I recorded WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS way back in June, and haven’t watched it until just recently. It was well worth the wait, for this is one of the finest noirs I’ve seen yet. Director Otto Preminger reunited with the stars of his film LAURA, Dana Andrews and Gene Tierney, to give us a bleak crime drama that more than holds its own with the best films noir of the era.

Police Detective Mark Dixon (Andrews) is a proto-Dirty Harry cop, a tough SOB not above laying the smackdown on New York City’s criminal element. Another assault charge leads to Mark being demoted by his superiors. Mark’s got a reason for his brutality tactics, though: his father was a criminal, and he’s psychologically compelled to clean up the corruption in his city.