Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!
This week, Kelly is irresponsible.
Episode 1.13 “The Babysitters”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 1st, 1990)
This episode stresses me out.
Kelly’s parents go off on a ski vacation and leave Kelly with the responsibility of taking care of her infant brother. (Really?) When they get stranded at the lodge, Kelly has to bring the baby to school. She asks her idiot friends to help look after him.
Of course, Zack loses the baby. Fortunately, Mr. Belding finds him but still…
Seriously, I hate this episode. I hate that Kelly’s parents are irresponsible enough to abandon their baby so that they can go skiing. I hate that Kelly has to find someone to take care of the baby while she goes to cheerleader practice. I hate that Zack is dumb enough to lose the baby. I hate that no one ever says, “Wow, this whole situation is really messed up.” This is the one episode that I always turned off whenever I came across it on TV.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
This week, more and more people are coming to Springwood.
Episode 2.3 “Welcome to Springwood”
(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on October 22nd, 1989)
Roxanne (Leah Ayres) and her husband, Doug (Michael Horton). have just moved to a new house in Springwood, Ohio. Doug, a lawyer, has to go to his office and he leaves Roxanne, who is recovering from a mental breakdown, alone with the boxes that the moves have already brought into the house. He tells her not to worry about opening them and promises her that they’ll unpack when he gets home.
Roxanne, however, opens the boxes. And she finds things that clearly don’t belong to her. She calls Doug at work. Doug says that there must have been a mix-up with the moving company and that he’ll call and make sure that their stuff gets delivered as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, at the house, Roxanne starts to see people who may or may not be there….
As surprised as I am to say this, the first segment of this episode of Freddy’s Nightmares was an enjoyably macabre story. Yes, the final twist is one that you’ll see coming but director Ken Wiederhorn does a great job creating and maintaining atmosphere and Ayres, Horton, and Todd Allen all give strong performances.
The second story isn’t close to be anywhere as interesting. Emily Jamison (Dey Young) has moved into a new home and she finds a hidden stack of letters that were written years before. The letters detail a doomed romance and Emily soon starts to see ghosts. The story isn’t terrible but it’s a bit bland.
Still, this was another good episode of Freddy’s Nightmares. So far, at least, the show appears to have found its footing during its second season. It’ll be interesting to see if that continues next week.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.
This episode proves that Dr. Cavanero is the worst.
Episode 3.10 “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”
(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on November 28th, 1984)
The struggle is real.
Seriously, I am thankful that someone uploaded St. Elsewhere to Daily Motion. With the show no longer on Hulu and Prime only having the first season available, Daily Motion is pretty much the only place where I can stream the show. That said, the sound quality is not great. The sound quality wasn’t particularly good when the show was on Hulu either but at least then I could turn on the captions. The Daily Motion uploads don’t have that option. I had to strain to hear the dialogue and, as a result, this review is not going to be as in-depth as it could be.
What I can tell you is that Dr. Cavanero is now one of the least sympathetic characters that I have ever seen on a television show. Last week, Dr. Christine Holz (Caroline McWilliams) told Cavanero that she was a lesbian. This week, Cavanero blabbed that information around the hospital, leading to a lot of homophobic comments from certain members of the stuff. (Not surprisingly, Victor Ehrlich was there to say something stupid.) Cavenero admitted to Christine that she found Christine’s lifestyle to be “unnatural.” Christine smiled sadly and left Cavanero’s apartment and left the show. Keep in mind, Dr. Holz was portrayed as being a brilliant surgeon and bone marrow expert. It probably would have been good to keep her around the hospital for a little while but nope. Sorry. Dr. Cavanero — who really hasn’t done anything of note since the first season — felt uncomfortable.
(Originally, Christine and Cavanero were supposed to have a romantic relationship but Cynthia Sikes, the actress playing Cavavero, objected to the storyline. As a result, the story was rewritten and perhaps it’s not a coincidence that Cavanero comes across as being a bit of a homophobe.)
Meanwhile, Dr. Chandler was concerned when he discovered that a neighborhood woman (Beah Richards) was practicing medicine out of her apartment. This storyline at least gave Denzel Washington more to do than usual, which was good. St. Elsewhere, at least so far, has often tended to underuse both Chandler as a character and Washington as an actor.
Jack’s friend (John Schuck) insisted on doing an experimental kidney procedure to try to save the life of his daughter (Brandy Gold) and Dr. Auschlander finally gave his approval for it to be done. I would say that was a good thing except for the fact that Jack’s storylines hardly ever have a happy ending. There’s a reason why Morrison is the most depressed resident in the hospital.
Nurse Rosenthal continued her affair with Richard Clarendon, even though Richard’s wife (Beverly Sanders) is now working at the hospital. Wow, that’s going to be awkward. In fact, I hope it’s really awkward. I’m tired of Nurse Rosenthal and her holier-than-thou attitude.
Dr. Craig testified at a city council hearing. The poor sound quality kept me from fully understanding what the hearing was about but at Dr. Craig told everyone off. It’s always fun to watch William Daniels tell people off.
Here’s hoping the sound will be a bit less muddy next week!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, it’s time for yet another student protest.
Episode 5.8 “Goodbye, Mr. Zelinka”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on June 23rd, 1989)
The students at Lincoln High are upset to learn that beloved English teacher Mr. Zelinka (Lew Ayres) is going to have to retire because he’s reached the mandatory age of 70. The school’s new maintenance workers — Jonathan Smith and Mark Gordon — suggest that they should all conduct a walk-out to demand that Zelinka be allowed to keep his job. The evil school board president (James Karen) says that Zelinka can stay if he takes and passes an exam. However, the exam is rigged for Zelinka to fail. Jonathan uses “the stuff” to make sure that Zelinka not only passes but that he also gets the highest score ever. In the past, Jonathan always refused to use “the stuff” to help people cheat. Instead, Jonathan would have shown the school board president the error of his ways. But, for this episode, Jonathan rigs the rigged exam and the villain is left in power so that he can presumably continue to make Mr. Zelinka’s life miserable.
I did not like this episode. Yeah, it’s heart was in the right place but the entire school walking about in support of Mr, Zelinka just felt kind of silly. I mean, did every student at the school have Mr. Zelinka for English? What did everyone’s parents think about the protest? If Mr. Zelinka had been a compelling character, may be I would have felt differently but Mr. Zelinka was instead a pretty passive character and I have to admit that I wondered about all the other good teachers who had been forced to retire at 70. Why didn’t Jonathan show up to help any of them out? What made Mr. Zelinka so special? It didn’t help that Lew Ayres was 80 years old when he played Mr. Zelinka and that he looked and sounded even older. The obviously frail Ayres comes across as someone who maybe does need to retire.
I’ve sat through a lot of Highway to Heaven episodes about clean-cut teenagers walking out of class so that they can protest injustice. Highway to Heaven was a very earnest show and that was one of the things that made it likable. But, by the fifth season, Highway to Heaven‘s formula was a bit less effective than it had been in the past. This is an episode just just seems to be going through the motions. This is also the rare Highway to Heaven episode in which I wanted someone to tell Jonathan and Mark to just mind their own business.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!
Casey goes under cover at yet another cocktail lounge.
Episode 1.21 “The Showplace”
(Dir by David Alexander, originally aired on March 3rd, 1958)
There’s been a murder at a cocktail lounge. One of the girls who worked there has been found in alley, strangled. That means that it’s time for Casey to go undercover as a clip-joint girl, convincing men to buy her drinks. It’s a sleazy place, run by two brothers (Bill Hayes and Lewis Troy) and featuring a sad-eyed bartender (Lou Polan) with a mysterious past. Casey’s investigation uncovers all sorts of nefarious dealings. In the end, the murderer is revealed and it’s not who you might have thought. In a cocktail lounge full of largely ugly people, the murderer is the one handsome man. Casey mentions that he may have been handsome on the outside but, on the inside, there was nothing.
This was a great episode, a moody slice of downbeat noir that featured Casey doing actual undercover work. The cocktail lounge was a wonderfully atmospheric location, the supporting cast was full of strong character actors, and Beverly Garland did a great job as Casey both empathized and suspected the men with whom she was working.
This episode ended, as the best ones always did, with Casey talking about the tragedy of it all. Casey’s New York is a city of dreams but it can also be a nightmare.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Love won’t hurt anymore….
Episode 7.9 “Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup”
(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 12th, 1983)
This week, it’s a carnival cruise!
No, I don’t mean the type of cruise that starts as a dance party and devolves into a riot. I mean, there’s an actual carnival occurring on the cruise. The head of the carnival (Howard Keel) is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and Stubing loves a carnival. That’s all good and well but I hope they gave the passengers fair warning what type of cruise they were buying tickets for. I don’t mind carnivals but I wouldn’t necessarily want to deal with one while on a romantic cruise.
Young photographer Aurora Adams (Jan Smithers) takes an interest in the carnival owner. Is she hitting on a man old enough to be her father? No, specially because the man is her father! She doesn’t reveal this until towards the end of the cruise.
Meanwhile, Chip Ryan (Michael Lembeck) and Chester O’Brien (Christopher Mayer) are a comedy team who are training a bear. When it turns out that the bear cannot be trained to follow orders, they decide that one of them should wear a bear suit and…. no, I’m not making this up. Anyway, Chip and Chester both fall for Dottie Becks (Randi Oakes) and, by the end of the cruise, it looks like they’re going to have a very modern arrangement. *wink* *wink*
Newlywed Scott Pryor (Dean Butler) is overwhelmed by the beauty of his wife (Crystal Bernard). His wife takes off her makeup and he doesn’t recognize her. Eh. Let’s just ignore this storyline.
So, this episode …. you know, the newlywed and the long lost daughter stories were both pretty dumb but the bear storyline was just silly enough to be fun. I would not have chosen to take this particular cruise but, if I did, I’d spend the whole time watching the bear.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Why is everyone bagging on my town?
Episode 3.15 “Armed and Dangerous”
(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on January 11th, 1998)
At the local high school, a gun is fired and the bullet grazes the arm of Jessie Palermo (Johna Stewart-Bowden). Jessie, of course, is Lt. Palermo’s daughter. Palermo becomes obsessed with finding out who fired the gun and how that person got the gun. He sends Chris and TC into the school to work undercover and he orders Cory and Victor to find the gun dealer. As for Palermo himself, he visits the local gun store and gives an impassioned speech in favor of gun control.
Yeeesh, this episode.
I mean, I get it. Palermo has every right to be upset. But it’s hard not to notice that he only seems to care whenever a case directly involves either his family or a member of the bike patrol. Whenever it’s just some citizen with whom he doesn’t have a personal connection, Palermo just kind of zones out. If some anonymous student had been shot at the school, there’s no way Palermo would have gone to so much trouble. He would have shrugged it off and hopped on his bicycle. In fact, I’ve noticed that this is true of all the bike cops. They take the “one of their own” syndrome to an extreme that is probably not good for the image of law enforcement. If it’s a friend who needs help, they’ll do everything within their power to help. They’ll even stop doing their patrols of the boardwalk to make time to help a friend. If it’s just some random person who gets mugged, they don’t care. If she doesn’t personally know you, Chris will probably make fun of you for being dumb enough to get mugged in the first place. These bike cops are the worst.
And here’s another thing. Why are the bicycle cops investigating this? Where are the real detectives? Why are two bicycle cops going undercover as opposed to the cops who have actually been trained to do that sort of work?
This is an episode that deals with a serious subject. But it’s hard to really pay attention to what it has to say when everyone’s wandering around in those silly bicycle shorts.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
This week, Scott takes over Bayside Radio. Hey, Zack did that too!
Episode 1.5 “Love Is On The Air”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 9th, 1993)
The school board is threatening to close down Bayside’s radio station!
Really? Didn’t we already do this story on the original Saved By The Bell? For that matter, wasn’t this exact same plot used on California Dreams, City Guys, Malibu CA, and Hang Time? Why was Peter Engel so obsessed with high school radio stations?
Scott, of course, talks Mr. Belding into letting him run the station. Scott wants Lindsay to do an advice show but, right before the show starts, Lindsay has a fight with Tommy D and runs out of the studio. While Scott is trying to get Lindsay to come back, Weasel goes on the air as “Dr, Love.” Weasel’s gives relationship advice to anyone who calls in. No one realizes that they’re actually talking to Weasel. “Dr. Love” becomes extremely popular while Weasel remains unpopular, despite the fact that he was the most popular kid in school just two episodes ago.
This was a dumb episode. It perhaps would have been worse if it had aired during the original run of Saved By The Bell, just because Screech would have been Dr. Love. Isaac Lidsky, who is today a respected businessman, was a considerably better actor than Dustin Diamond and Weasel was easier to take than Screech. That said, Scott’s sociopathic behavior in this episode was considerably less charming than Zack’s. Every episode seems to feature Scott trying to break up Lindsay and Tommy D but Lindsay and Tommy seem pretty happy together. Zack may have competed with Slater for Kelly’s attention but Kelly was single at the time and clearly interested in him. Lindsay seems to be totally into Tommy. Scott’s pathological obsession with breaking up a happy couple doesn’t make Scott a particularly likable protagonist
Go back to Valley, Scott! Bayside doesn’t need you.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week is just a mess.
Episode 5.9 “Finders Keepers”
(Dir by John Peyser, originally aired on November 29th, 1981)
Oh, it’s a Steve McLeish episode!
These episodes are fun because they were so obviously written and re-written to try to cover up the fact that Caitlyn Jenner was a terrible actor. In this episode, we learn that Steve is into rare flowers and that he drives a pretty snazzy convertible. And yet, despite these character details, Steve still doesn’t really have a personality beyond being kind of twitchy and always hesitating before delivering his lines. Jenner seemed to be made out of charisma anti-matter and it’s bizarre to see a public figure with absolutely zero screen presence.
This episode is a mess. Two teens steal a car and come into possession of some stolen money. Steve searches for the stolen car. An eccentric bounty hunter (Noble Willingham) drives from Texas to California in a pink Cadillac and gets in everyone’s way as he chases a fugitive. Oscar nominee Amy Madigan appears as a country singer who would really like to get it on with Baker but Baker always ends up running late. Ponch makes three brief appearances in this episode. It’s explained that he’s preparing to testify in a huge trial and that’s why Baker and Steve are temporary partners. None of the storylines really feel complete or connected. One gets the feeling that three different scripts were just randomly crammed together.
This episode had two effective car crashes and it was somewhat amusing to watch as Baker always showed up just a minute or two after Amy Madigan stopped singing. That said, this episode didn’t add up to much. The only thing that really made it watchable was Jenner’s bizarre performance.
There’s a part of me that kind of hopes that Ponch never comes back! Of course, if that happened, it would no longer be….
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, the Vice Squad learns that a man has to know his limitations.
Episode 5.15 “Over The Line”
(Dir by Russ Mayberry, originally aired on April 28th, 1989)
“All of our heroes are dead.”
That line was delivered in 1973’s Magnum Force, by a motorcycle cop-turned-vigilante who justified his murderous actions by claiming that he was a part of the first generation without heroes. That line could have just as easily been delivered by the cops in this episode of Miami Vice.
Crockett and Tubbs are recruited by Walter Stevens (Thomas Arana), a cop-turned-vigilante who explains to them that, once they join his organization, they can never leave. Of course, Crockett and Tubbs are only pretending to be vigilantes so that they can take down both the drug dealers and Walter’s organization. They do this despite the fact that, in many ways, Crockett agrees with Walter. But when Walter’s methods lead to three good cops getting killed, Crockett realizes that Walter has to be stopped. Even worse, he discovers that Walter is funding his operation by selling the cocaine that he confiscates from the dealers.
When Crockett pulls his gun on Walter and tells him to surrender, Walter appears to be doing so. Walter warns Crockett that there’s a lot more to the organization than Crockett realizes. Suddenly, a police captain named Robert Highsmith (Robert Fields) pops up and shoots Walter. Crockett says that Walter was surrendering. Highsmith insists that he saved Crockett’s life.
With the drug dealers and the bad cops taken down, Highsmith takes all the credit. Highsmith is not only a police captain but he’s also a candidate for Dade County Supervisor. At a televised “meet-the-candidate” forum, Highsmith brags about how he personally is helping to clean up the city. Crockett watches and says, “Whatever it takes, right?”
Agck!
Seriously, this episode is cynical even by the standards of Miami Vice. Legitimate cops like Crockett and Tubbs can’t do their job because of budget cuts. The vigilante cops are taking down the drug dealers but they’re also stealing and selling cocaine so they’re not actually doing anything to stop the flow of drugs into Miami. Walter becomes the first Miami Vice bad guy to both show remorse and to willingly surrender but he’s still gunned down by Captain Highsmith who, at the end of the episode, appears poised to be elected to political office. Miami Vice was often critical of the War on Drugs. This episode showed why the war couldn’t be won, despite the best efforts of soldiers like Crockett, Tubbs, and Castillo. Men like Highsmith had to appear to be winning the war so that they could accumulate more power but if they actually did win the war, they would no longer be given carte blanche to do whatever they wanted.
This was a dark but effective episode. Crockett’s hair has never been longer and he’s never appeared more defeated.
Through the Shattered Lens 