Category Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Retro Television Review: Degrassi High “School’s Out”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

School’s out!  What does the future hold for the students of Degrassi High?

“School’s Out”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 5th, 1992)

The series finale of Degrassi High left viewers with a few unanswered questions, particularly concerning the future of Joey and Caitlin’s relationship.  Indeed, when the series ended, the majority of the characters still had another year left in high school.

School’s Out, a television movie that aired on CBC Television in 1992, was an attempt to bring closure to the Degrassi story.  Starting with everyone but the perennially academically challenged Joey Jeremiah graduating, School’s Out deals with the final summer before everyone leaves for college or adulthood.  Joey asks Caitlin to marry him and, when she says she’s not sure that she’s ready, he instead cheats on her with Tessa Campanelli.  Joey loses his virginity to Tessa.  Caitilin eventually loses her virginity to Joey (and, at the time, assumes that she’s his first as well).  Snake does not lose his virginity over the summer and spends almost the entire film in a funk about it.  Wheels becomes an alcoholic and ends up in prison after he crashes his car and kills a kid.  Lucy, who was Wheels’s passenger, ends up blind and crippled.  Simon and Alexa finally get married.  Snake, meanwhile, drops the first F-bomb ever heard on Canadian television.  Caitlin drops the second.  “You were fucking Tessa Campanelli!?” As for Tessa, she ends up pregnant, has an abortion, and then apparently hops on a bus and vanishes.

Things got dark!

I’ve already reviewed School’s Out once.  It’s not only a classic Degrassi film but it’s a great teen film period.  Rewatching it, I truly was struck by just how incredibly dark things got in School’s Out.  Degrassi High had its share of dark moments but never to the extent as seen in School’s Out.  I mean, Wheels’s goes to prison!  Watching Degrassi High over the past few months, it was easy to see that Wheels was destined to eventually end up in some sort of trouble.  He was too angry and too self-centered and not willing to take responsibility for his actions.  There was a reason why, even before the events in School’s Out, Snake was distancing himself from his former friend.  Still, Wheels is a character who grew up over the course of the show.  It’s still strange to think that the quiet “good kid” from Degrassi Junior High eventually grew up, developed a drinking problem, killed a child, and was sentenced to prison.  As easy as it is to dislike Wheels, it’s still hard not to mourn who he could have been if a few things had just gone differently in his life.

That actions have consequences has always been one of the main themes of Degrassi.  By lying and cheating on Caitlin, Joey not only loses the love of his life (albeit temporarily) but Tessa herself is left to suffer alone.  Lucy, with a brilliant future ahead of her, makes the decision to get into a car being driven by the drunk Wheels and, when we last see her, she’s in a hospital bed and unable to see.  School’s out and sadly, the students at Degrassi High can no longer escape the real world consequences of their actions.

School’s Out was meant to bring closure to Degrassi.  And it did, for nearly ten years.  Of course, all good things come back to life.  Degrassi: The Next Generation would premiere in 2001.  We’ll start looking at it next week.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 4.1 “Fire: Part One”

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, Lisa will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Episode 4.1 “Fire: Part One”

(Directed by Don Scardino, originally aired on October 20th, 1995)

Hey, guest reviewer here!  It’s my pleasure to review the fourth season premiere of Homicide.  As someone who lived in Baltimore while the show was airing, I watched every episode of Homicide (and later, The Wire).  It was always interesting to see Frank Pembleton and Tim Bayliss and John Munch and Kay Howard walking down streets that I recognized.  It didn’t matter that the show presented Baltimore as being a hotbed of murder and corruption, mostly because anyone who has lived in Baltimore knows that our city is often just that.  There are wonderful places and people in Baltimore.  There’s also a a lot of problems.

Enough editorializing from me!  Let’s talk about the fourth season premiere.  It opens with Kay and Munch talking about how Detectives Beau Felton and Stanley Bolander have been suspended without pay for 22 weeks because of some drunken shenanigans at a cop convention.  That was the way that the show wrote out former series regulars Daniel Baldwin and Ned Beatty.  (Baldwin was dropped due to his drug addiction.  Beatty wanted to get back to movies.)  Felton?  Sure, I could imagine him doing something stupid at a convention.  But the idea that conservative, straight-laced Bolander would join him in that behavior?  That’s never sat well with me.  That was out of character for Stanley Bolander.

Gee’s unit is now down by three detectives.  He needs replacements but Megan Russert — Tim’s cousin, we’re told! — says that they can’t afford to hire any new detectives.  Maybe Gee should reach out to another division and see if anyone wants to transfer.  Gee looks at the Board, which is covered in red ink.  His remaining detectives are struggling to close cases and nobody wants to partner up with Lewis.

Pembleton and Bayliss, the best Homicide team out there, are investigating a warehouse fire.  An unidentified body has been found in the warehouse, burned to a crisp.  They meet Detective Mike Kellerman (Reed Diamond), the cocky and youngish arson investigator who is convinced that the fire was set by a bigshot businessman named Matthew Rowland.  Kellerman gets on Pembleton’s nerves but he bonds with Bayliss.  Even though it hasn’t happened by the end of this episode, it’s obvious that Kellerman  is going to end up at Homicide.  And because everyone in this episode keeps talking about how they refuse to partner up with Lewis, you can guess who Kellerman is going to end up working with.

Mike Kellerman went on to become one of the best characters on the show.  Everyone remembers the Luther Mahoney story arc.  Reed Diamond eventually became a key member of the ensemble.  But I can remember the controversy that initially greeted his character.  A lot of viewers and critics resented that he was replacing the popular Ned Beatty.  (No one really cared about Daniel Baldwin.)  Reed Diamond was seen as a pretty boy actor who was intruding on a gritty crime drama.  As an introduction, this episode doesn’t do Kellerman many favors.  He comes on very strong and, within minutes, he’s antagonizing and double guessing Pembleton.  A scene where Megan confronts him about going after Matthew Rowland makes it seem like the show is trying too hard to be a typical cop drama.  It reminded me of when Itchy & Scratchy added Poochie and Poochie was just too in your face with his coolness.  Luckily, Reed Diamond was a better actor than Homer Simpson and Mike Kellerman did not die on the way back to his home planet.  Instead, after this shaky introduction, he became a key member of one of the best casts in the history of television.

This episode ends on a cliffhanger, with another fire being set at another warehouse.  Kellerman’s going to be around for a while, whether Frank Pembleton likes it or not.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.4 “Leaping to Conclusions”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss knows everything.

Episode 1.4 “Leaping To Conclusions”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 21st, 1988)

It’s time to dissect a frog for Biology class!  Nikki (Heather Hopper) doesn’t believe in animal dissection and is especially upset that the frogs are currently still alive and living in a box with “LIVE ANIMALS” written on it.

Mr. Morton (Deryl Carroll), the crazed science teacher, doesn’t care about Nikki’s objections.  However, Miss Bliss, the school busybody, definitely does.  Miss Bliss tells Nikki to follow her conscience.  Nikki steals the “LIVE ANIMALS” box and sets all of the frogs free in a nearby creek and probably ruins Indiana’s ecosystem.

Morton’s angry but Mr. Belding lets Nikki go with a warning because Mr. Belding is convinced that a private academy is trying to recruit Miss Bliss.  Belding spends the entire episode giving Miss Bliss anything she asks for — a new globe, money for a field trip, a new projector — while the rest of the teachers receive nothing.  When Miss Bliss discovers that Belding went through her mail and saw she had received a letter from a private academy, Miss Bliss does her usual, “Mr. Belding, you stupid little American,” routine.  Belding laughs and then redistributes all of the gifts that he previously gave Miss Bliss.  Miss Bliss is not amused because, seriously, why should any other teacher have a new projector?  Everyone knows the world revolves around Miss Bliss.

As for Nikki, she steals the replacement frogs but then returns them, saying that it’s not fair for her to take away everyone else’s right to dissect a frog.  So, Nikki really didn’t have any problem with the frogs being killed.  She just didn’t want to be the one to do it.  Mr. Morton says he will have to fail Nikki.  Miss Bliss says that Nikki can just use a computer program to simulate dissecting a frog and you have to wonder why Miss Bliss is the one making that decision because it’s not even her class!

Seriously, Miss Bliss is the worst.  That said, I wouldn’t want to dissect a frog either.  That’s one reason why I lost respect for Nikki when she brought the frogs back.  When you believe that strongly in something, you don’t turn back.

 

 

Retro Television Review: The American Short Story #10 “The Golden Honeymoon”

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, Lisa will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.

Episode #10: The Golden Honeymoon (1980, directed by Noel Black)

Hey, guest reviewer here!  Don’t worry, Lisa will return next week.  Next week’s episode has got Eric Roberts in it and she told me there’s no way she’s going to miss that!

This episode is an adaptation of a short story by the author Ring Lardner, who was a member of the Algonquin Round Table and whose son won an Oscar for writing the script for the movie version of M*A*S*H.  The Golden Honeymoon about an old couple (James Whitmore and Teresa Wright) who celebrate their 50th anniversary by going on a “golden honeymoon” to Florida.  While there, they meet the wife’s old flame (Larry Loonin) and Whitmore feels like he has to win his Wright all over again.  Whitmore and Loonin play a lot of different games, like shuffleboard and checkers.  You know you don’t want to get between a group of elderly people playing checkers!  Wright gets frustrated with Whitmore but they make up by the end of the episode.  They bicker but they love each other.

I have not read the original short story on which this episode is based.  Ring Lardner was famous for his wit and he probably could have found a lot of comedic moments in two old romantic rivals having an intense checkers game.  The episode itself reminded me of those films that my high school English teachers would always show in class.  “You are going to love this,” the teacher always says and then the members of the class sit there in stony silence as they watched the slowest, most visually static program imaginable.  This episode was not just boring.  It was PBS boring.

I don’t want to be to negative, though.  I like both James Whitmore and Teresa Wright.  Whitmore was the elderly prisoner in The Shawshank Redemption.  Teresea Wright was in several classic Golden Age  films.  In The Golden Honeymoon, they were believable as an old married couple, who constantly argue but still clearly love each other.

Freddy’s Nightmares Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.3 “Killer Instinct”, Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

GUEST REVIEWER ALERT!!! Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!

I am your guest reviewer for the next few “Freddy’s Nightmares”. I have watched three of them and can tell you without a doubt that this show was never really meant to be. At this time, there were two other similar and better shows that were in production or getting greenlit: “The Twilight Zone (reboot)” and “Tales from the Crypt”. This show likely wanted to be “Tales from the Crypt” and I guarantee that the Boomers who wrote “Freddy’s Nightmares” were fans of “Tales”. This story and the other two I watched were likely failed pitches for “Tales” and “Zone”.

The show struggled because network television was not ready for a blood and guts story and certainly not one where Freddy Kreuger, a child murderer pedo, is heavily in the stories. Therefore, he had the role of Crypt Keeper. I’m sure that this was frustrating for Miramax and Wes Craven because Nightmare had amassed nearly 500 Million Dollars. Also, this show was 16 years before Supernatural premiered where audiences craved and demanded gore. The Freddy stories themselves didn’t really lend to horror as much as they were morality play Outer Limits episodes with a story McGuffin to push the clumsy narrative forward.

However, the show could have been saved, IF it were a 30 minute show. In every episode that I watched, the stories ached to roll credits at the 30 minute mark, but the show had an hour slot and the writers tacked on 3 additional act breaks that were always a big oogey mess. Twilight Zone was an hour, but broken into two stories. Tales was 30 minutes and got to do all the gore and nudity it wanted because it was on HBO. Freddy’s overlong padded stories and the FCC restrictions killed what could have been an aggressively mediocre show.

This episode: “Killer Instinct” had a good beginning. Chris Ketchum (Lori Petty) just lost her mother and she wants to honor her by winning track meets even it means losing her soul. BOOM- That is a story- A 30 minute story. At the 30 minute mark, I had seen enough, but I kept going. Chris has heart, but she is losing out to the faster and cuter Nickie (Yvette Nipar) who always beats her in every race and unbeknownst to Chris, Nickie also want to knock boots with Chris’ boyfriend. Chris’ track coach doesn’t help because she is written inconsistently- one moment she’s booting Chris from the team for not trying hard enough and the next she’s giving her evil costume jewelry…. that can kill!!!

Chris gives the evil McGuffin a try and she: runs blurry-fast (which would likely blow out her joints), kills a teacher by choking him with cotton (Yes, that happened), and causes Nickie’s treadmill to go a little faster- it doesn’t hurt Nickie, but Nickie’s workout was slightly more difficult. Wes Craven really needed to give this story another pass. Before Chris can eliminate Nickie (Yvette Nipar) permanently, Nickie strikes first and steals the costume jewelry of doom TCJOD! Nickie uses TCJOD to kill Chris by causing the finish line tape to either decapitate her or break Chris’ neck. It’s unclear how Chris dies, but she does.

The story devolves into a quasi-ghost-zombie-hallucination story. Chris wants revenge and so she sleeps with her boyfriend all gnarly with rotting flesh and she demands that her boyfriend tries to kill Nickie. He doesn’t though- I guess sleeping with a dead person just isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. Chris starts showing up everywhere in Nickie’s life to drive her insane – including dinner parties and it works really quickly- very quickly. Before the end of the week, Nickie is bludgeoning her boyfriend to death with a…. track trophy, but in her defense she thought it was Chris’ boyfriend! Confused? Yeah, it’s that kind of show. I guess Nickie came in first place in murder!

See you soon!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.10 “A Pig Too Far”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, we learn about something called hacking.

Episode 2.10 “A Pig Too Far”

(Dir by Linda Day, originally aired on January 11th, 1984)

I’ve got a family thing going on today so I’m just going to do a bullet-point review.

  • The bigger, richer hospitals are transporting their indigent patients to St. Eligius.  When one of those patients dies, Joan Holloran and Dr. Cavanero (making one of her infrequent appearances) attempt to find out why.  It turns out that other hospitals view St. Eligius as being a dumping ground.  It’s not ethical or particularly nice but everyone seems to agree that it’s a common practice.
  • Ehrlich wants to ask Roberta (Jean Bruce Scott) to marry him, despite the fact that he’s extremely immature and has no idea how to have a meaningful relationship with anyone.
  • Matthew Brody (David Knell) is a teenage computer nerd who, from his hospital bed, is able to hack into the hospital’s computer system.  You can tell this episode was from the 80s because of a lengthy scene in which Matthew explains what hacking is.  Everyone is stunned that such a thing can be done.
  • Bobby shaves his mustache.  Now he looks like the handsome Mark Harmon we all know!
  • A woman with violent mood swings is brought into the psych ward.  Dr. Ridley diagnoses her as having PMS.  He and Dr. Morrison have a good laugh about it while this reviewer narrows her eyes and considers throwing her laptop out the bedroom window.
  • Shirley and Dr. White are still under investigation.  What’s odd is that Shirley says that she’s currently not allowed in the ER but actually, we saw her working in the ER in the previous episode.  That leads me to suspect that the episodes were aired out of their extended order.
  • EXCEPT — last week’s episode was a Christmas episode.  This week’s episode features a somewhat random scene of Dr. Craig demanding someone take down a Christmas tree because Christmas is over.  So maybe Shirley being in the ER last week was genuine mistake on the part of the writers.

This was a bit of a bland episode, to be honest.  At this point, I assume anyone who shows up in the hospital is guaranteed to eventually die a terrible death.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.8 “All the Colors of the Heart”

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, we will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, Tubi and other services!

Episode 4.8 “All the Colors of the Heart”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 18th, 1987)

This episode brings Jonathan (Michael Landon) and Mark (Victor French) to a summer camp for the blind, where they come into contact with two men. There is Frank Riley (Tom Sullivan), an athletic blind man with a great attitude who has high hopes of gaining his sight and being able to see for the first time in his life. In contrast, there is Scott (Peter Kowanko), a young man who is in the process of rapidly losing his sight and is in complete denial of his new reality. Jonathan and Frank, who also happens to be the man who started the camp, work with Scott in hopes of helping him to face both the physical and the emotional challenges of going blind. Will Frank actually be able to regain his sight? Will Scott be able to accept his condition and find a reason to embrace life again? 

Our family watched HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN often during its run in the 80’s. My mom loved the series, and I remember its episodes going straight for the heart. I haven’t revisited it as an adult, and I must admit that I had an enjoyably nostalgic time when I watched this episode today.

While I personally had warm and fuzzy feelings based on the show’s connection to my youth, the content of the episode itself was quite serious. Scott, the young man who is going blind, is basically giving up on life, so much so that he contemplates killing himself. Peter Kowanko, who plays Scott and bears a striking resemblance to actor James Van Der Beek, is pretty good in the part. He spends most of his time screaming at people that they don’t understand what he’s going through. It’s not the most endearing performance, but I can’t help but wonder how I would react in the same position. Heck, I’ve had some of my own health issues recently, and the anxiety that has come along with that has definitely hampered my ability to put others first. I think Tom Sullivan is a little more successful in the role of Frank Riley, the man who has been blind since birth. Sullivan, who is blind in real life, receives a “Story By” credit for this episode, and is reportedly much like the man he portrays here. While some of his scenes do lean heavily into melodrama at the end, his inspiring sense of humor and overall outlook on life gives us glimmers of hope throughout the episode. I did want to point out that Kowanko and Sullivan do almost all of the heavy lifting in the acting department in this episode. While they had some fun interplay at the beginning, I was surprised by how little the characters played by Landon and French factored into the main storyline. I’m going to assume this is the exception and not the norm for the show. 

Overall, I enjoyed revisiting this TV series from my youth. This specific episode contains a strong message about the importance of finding the joys in life under the most difficult of circumstances. I think we all need to be reminded of that from time to time, even when we’re not facing the types of challenges that these characters are being forced to deal with. Michael Landon, who directed this episode, got me at the end as I felt some moisture welling up in my own eyes. I’m definitely looking forward to taking a little deeper dive into the series in the near future. 

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.25 “Big Daddy”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

This week sounds pretty bad.  On the plus side, I’m nearly done with this show.

Episode 2.25 “Big Daddy”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 13th, 2000)

This episode of Malibu CA is the last episode to not be available on YouTube.  Here’s the plot summary from the imdb:

Lisa tells Jason and Traycee about the good feeling she gets from volunteering at the local Community Center and encourages them to do likewise. Traycee is ready to volunteer but Jason isn’t interested until he sees some of the pretty girls from the center, especially Diana. Jason hopes to get some one-on-one time with Diana at the Center but she assigns him to be a “Big Buddy” for a local boy, Kenny. At first the two don’t get along very well, with Kenny insulting Jason every chance he gets. But eventually they warm up to each other and Jason lets Kenny borrow his old guitar, on which he plans to teach the youngster to play.

According to Wikipedia, Scott Whyte (of City Guys “fame”) appears in this episode as Alex’s new boyfriend, who Scott suspects is a thief.

Both plotlines sound pretty dire.  It’s interesting that the second season featured guest appearances from people who previously appeared on Hang Time and City Guys.  I guess the thinking was that it would help the show’s rating.  It must not have worked because there was never a third season.

Next week, we have the series finale and that episode has been uploaded to YouTube so I’ll get to see how this all ended.  Even better, I’ll be done with Malibu CA and not a minute to soon, to be honest.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 1.4 “The Slump”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, cocaine comes to the locker room.  Actually, cocaine was probably already there.  Now, there’s more cocaine.  Football, right?

Anyway….

Episode 1.4 “The Slump”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 16th, 1984)

This week’s episode starts off with some full front nudity as wide receiver Mace Petty (Marshall R. Teague) takes a shower with a blonde woman.  Suddenly, a bearded man steps into the shower, accuses Mace of seducing his wife, and points a gun at him.  OH MY GOD, IS MACE GOING TO DIE!?  (And who is Mace, anyway?)

Oh wait, it’s a prop gun.  Ha ha, it’s practical joke.  Those crazy Bulls.

With the required HBO nudity out of the way, the plot kicks off.  The Bulls are in a slump.  They’ve lost their past two games!  In order to turn things around, Diane makes a trade for a talented wide receiver.  (Ha!  TAKE THAT, MACE!)  Butch Cassidy (Michael Toland) may be a good athlete but guess who has a cocaine addiction!?  Butch is soon snorting in the men’s room.  When he has to take a drug test, he uses a groupie’s urine instead.  When the results come back, it’s announced that Butch is pregnant.  Butch is kicked off the team.  Maybe the Sundance Kid can take his place….

The good news is that The Bulls still win their next game, breaking the slump.  And Bob Dorsey earns Diana’s trust by telling her that Butch has a drug problem.  And the Arcola Brothers attempt to keep the Bulls from serving beer at the stadium is thwarted when Diana has a bunch of helicopter fly in the beer.  (That way, no one has to cross the picket line that the Arcolas have set up outside the stadium.)  Finally, Carl Witherspoon gets a new contract and the rest of the team gets jealous because Carl is now a “millionaire” but then Carl points out that he’s a terrible negotiator and he actually got screwed over on the contract.  He then agrees to take the team to Hawaii.  No wonder they won that game!

This episode was actually better than the previous three.  That doesn’t mean it was particularly good but still it wasn’t terrible.  (And that’s what we mean by “damning by faint praise.”)  If nothing else, Michael Toland gave a good performance as the cocky but self-destructive Butch Cassidy.  I also kind of like the chemistry between Geoffrey Scott and Delta Burke.  They’re good together.  As far as episodes of bad shows go, this was a good one.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.11 “The Tomorrow Lady/Father, Dear Father/Still Life”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, a man tells a terrible lie, Greer Garson can see the future, and Isaac is losing his hearing!  Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 6.11 “The Tomorrow Lady/Father, Dear Father/Still Life”

(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 4th, 1992)

This episode of The Love Boat features one of the worst stories ever.  Ken Miller (Lawrence Pressman) wants to date Sarah Curtis (Kim Darby).  However, Sarah is on the cruise as a member of the Single Parents Group and, when Sarah first sees Ken, she assumes that Ken is a single father because he’s standing with Libby McDonald (played by the one-named Louanne), who is the daughter of Ken’s friend, Tom (Jim Stafford).  So, Ken just decides to lie about being a father.

Eventually, Sarah finds out.  When she notices that Libby is spending all of her time with Tom, the gig is up.  Sarah, however, FORGIVES Ken and accepts his marriage proposal!  (“Looks like I won’t be a member of Single Parents anymore….”)  Lady, he lied to you about having a daughter!  He recruited a little girl to pretend to be his daughter!  THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO START A MARRIAGE!

The other two stories were better.  One featured Greer Garson (in her final screen performance before retiring) as a woman who was a self-described “good guesser.”  She met a struggling businessman (Howard Duff) who wanted to use her power to play the stock market but eventually, he fell in love with her for her and not her powers.  Howard Duff’s character was not particularly likable but Greer Garson seemed to be having fun.

The other story featured Isaac struggling with a double ear infection and fearing that he would permanently lose his hearing.  He didn’t, which is good considering that he’s the ship’s head bartender and he’s the guy who everyone comes to with their problems.  (It always amuses me how a passenger will just automatically start talking to Isaac as if they’re best friends when they’ve only been on the boat for a couple of hours.)  What made this story work, though, was the performance of Ted Lange.  He was so believably scared of losing his hearing that you just wanted someone to hug him and reassure him that it would all be okay.  When his hearing finally came back, I breathed a sigh of relief.  Obviously, playing Isaac was probably not the most challenging roll of Ted Lange’s career.  I mean, the man has played Othello!  Still, Lange gave a really good and honest performance in this episode.  He didn’t use the fact that he was acting on The Love Boat as an excuse to just coast.

This cruise …. it was kind of forgettable.  Still, at least Ted Lange got a chance to shine!