What Else Lisa Watched Last Night #139: The Bride He Bought Online (dir by Christine Conradt)


Last night, after I watched UnGodly Acts, I watched The Bride He Bought Online.

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Why Was I Watching It?

The Bride He Bought Online actually premiered a few months ago but, for some reason, I missed it.  Even though all of my friends told me that I had not missed much, I took a solemn vow last December to watch every Lifetime film released this year.  So, when I saw that The Bride He Bought Online would be airing again last night, I made sure to watch it.

What Was It About?

This is the story of three teenage girls who have a blog where the specialize in doing mean things to their friends and occasionally to complete strangers.  Kaley (Annalisa Cochrane) dreams of making the blog so successful that she’ll be able to sell it for so much money that she won’t have to bother going to college after high school.  Mandy (Lauren Gaw) is a former unpopular girl who is now awkwardly trying to decide if she really wants to be a mean girl.  And Avery (Anne Winters) is the responsible one who worries that Kaley is going to go far.

And Avery has ever right to be worried because Kaley does go too far.  Pretending to be a mail order bride, Kaley starts an online relationship with a dorky guy named John (Travis Hammer).  Convinced that he’s finally found a woman who will love him, John sends her money and even takes guitar lessons so that he can serenade his bride to be.  When he spends hours waiting at an airport for his nonexistent bride to show up, Kaley and Mandy record him and then upload the video to the blog.

Up until this point, you’ve been feeling pretty sorry for John.  But it turns out that John is actually a pretty dangerous and unstable guy.  Once he figures out what has happened, he kidnaps the three girls and makes plans to sell them to a group of human traffickers.

What Worked?

A lot of people have told me that they didn’t like The Bride He Bought Online but I thought it was actually a very well-done and well-acted film.  It’s a great example of one of my favorite Lifetime movie genres — the Everything Bad That Can Happen Will Happen genre.  Yes, it’s melodramatic and it’s a bit extreme but then again, that’s kind of what we want from Lifetime.

Plus, I’ve had friends just like Kaley, Mandy, and Avery.  Their friendship felt very real to me.  Also way too plausible was the character of John.  As played by Travis Hammer, he was both pathetic and scary at the same time.

What Did Not Work?

Lifetime movies are always so phobic of the internet.  Anytime someone says that they have a blog, you know that something bad is going to happen as a result.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I’m happy to say that, even at my brattiest, I was never as bad as Kaley.  However, I did know quite a few girls like Kaley and I often found myself wondering just why exactly I was friends with them.  So, in the end, I related to Avery.

Lessons Learned

Be nice or you’ll get sold to the Russian mafia.

Val’s Movie Roundup #26: Hallmark Edition


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A Stranger’s Heart (2007) – This is a movie A, movie B, type film. Movie A is about being in a hospital morbidly awaiting someone to die, but have a heart left over for you to receive via a transplant. Movie B is about how all those things we ascribe to our heart in metaphor are literally transferred by what the film calls “cell memory”. Movie A works. Movie B is honestly a little creepy.

The movie begins by introducing our leading lady as a child. This part is kind of unintentionally funny. I know why we need to kill off her mom, but did it need to happen by her stupidly wandering onto a street while singing Oh, Susannah? Then we learn that the little girl had heart problems and then suddenly we’re in the present with her grown up in the hospital. Like I said before, this part works. She is in there with several people including the guy she ends up with. The movie does a good job of getting across trying to find humor in that kind of a situation while waiting for something horrible to happen to somebody else in order to save your life.

Then movie B kicks in. She gets a heart, her female friend gets a heart, and her future boyfriend gets a heart. The female friend starts craving something she hadn’t drank since she was little. Then a little later in the film she goes and meets the family whose daughter’s heart she now has. She comes back complaining that the family basically didn’t see her as their daughter reincarnated. That’s where this film switches from your biological structure changing to a literal transference of high level thoughts and feelings via the heart.

It turns out our boy and girl both received their hearts from a couple who died in a car crash leaving behind their daughter. Then the two of them basically start stalking the little girl who is now without her parents. It’s kind of well meaning, but it is creepy because the movie does want you to believe they have somehow received the love her parents had for her through a heart transplant complete with dreams about the little girl. And yes, it carries this idea all the way through to having the little girl with them as essentially new parents carrying their old parents within them as if the heart is like a symbiotic creature we carry within us.

This movie is a mixed bag, but since it is a Larry Levinson Production, that does mean computer screen screw ups.

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If you can, read that fake webpage. It’s like reading someone’s template rather than an actual post. Also, look at the bottom left hand corner. They took a screenshot of a Windows XP machine and have her looking at it on a Mac.

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The Confession (2007) – This movie is a standard you’ve seen it a million times before soap opera type plot. You have a rich lady who gave up her daughter for adoption a long time ago and is fading health wise. You have her husband who is a gambling addict that wants to inherit her money, but has just been cut out of the will because of his addiction. He runs into an aspiring actress and hires her to play the long lost daughter so he can get the estate through her. The actual daughter turns up a little late and gets taken in as a servant. You know how the rest plays out.

The only difference here is the girl is Amish. That’s it. This is the second in what is either going to be a trilogy with the upcoming film The Reckoning or an ongoing saga. There is enough open ended stuff attached to this movie to warrant another film.

There are two actors you’ll recognize here. Sherry Stringfield from ER is the rich lady and Adrian Paul from Highlander is the husband. I thought they did a good job. The only real problem I had was with the Amish girl who is played by Katie Leclerc. She tries to do a Pennsylvania Dutch accent and it doesn’t work. She’s Texan born and raised in Colorado. Also, it doesn’t help that the actress in the movie fakes a Pennsylvania Dutch accent, thus making us notice Leclerc’s fake accent even more. That is, when she’s actually doing it. When Leclerc gets hired as a servant she magically switches to an American accent. I get why she needs to do it, but people don’t naturally have that ability. I haven’t seen the first film called The Shunning (2011) where the same character was played by Danielle Panabaker, so I can’t speak to whether she was any better at pulling off the accent.

If you don’t let the accent part bother you, then this is fine little soap opera. I am curious how they are going to reconcile her suddenly being in the money with her Amish past since they don’t do it here.

Oh, and no, it doesn’t end with Leclerc chopping off the fake Amish girl’s head because there can be only one. Adrian Paul also keeps his head.

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Be My Valentine (2013) – Since Hallmark just aired a new movie called Lead With Your Heart (2015) with Billy Baldwin, they played this one that also has Billy in it. The movie begins with Kate Burlingham (Natalie Brown) who is about to watch Alec Baldwin in It’s Complicated (2009), when Billy climbs in through her window and rescues her. Just kidding. Her flower store is in a fire and Dan Farrell, played by Billy Baldwin, is the head firefighter. Of course the two are going to come together during the upcoming Valentine’s Day.

Just like Second Chances (2013), while the adults are supposed to be the feature presentation, it’s the child actors that are the most enjoyable part. In this case, it’s Baldwin’s kid and a girl named Rebecca. I don’t know why the adult romance had to be here at all. The story of the two kids is far more interesting and I think Baldwin does a good job as the dad trying to guide his son through young love. It’s also where one of this films funniest parts comes from. When he first meets Rebecca, she is reading a book. He asks her if she plays the games too because apparently, the books don’t make sense if you don’t play the games as well. She says she plays the game on her phone, notebook, and computer. But then he says a version just came out on “the cloud”. He says it’s “majorly interactive” to which she responds “I’m so going to hook into that.” What I want to know is if I can play Teddy Boy on “the cloud”.

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Or, since this is a Hallmark movie, will my Bible games play on “the cloud”?

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It’s stupid questions like this that come to mind when the characters say stupid things because the writers wanted to sound hip. Or maybe that’s just how Canadian kids actually talk. Oddly, while that part of trying to make the kids sound like kids, they get something else almost right on button. Baldwin suggests that instead of brining Rebecca flowers or chocolate, he get more creative and make a mixed tape. After a little confusion for the kid, he figures out that he can make a DVD composed of videos (I think music ones) for her. That’s kind of a reasonable update of the classic mixed tape. Kudos on that one.

This is one of those films that is shot in Canada, but Baldwin walks around with an American flag on his uniform so it’s totally the United States.

It’s fine and enjoyable. It’s a little out of the blue when an old boyfriend shows up to sort of disrupt things a little, but he goes as quickly as he came.

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Chance At Romance (2013) – This one is a real skipper. It doesn’t get much more generic and forced for a Hallmark romance movie, then this one.

It’s about a girl named Samantha Hart (Erin Krakow) who wanders into a photo gallery showing. Heath Madsen (Ryan McPartlin) is the photographer. She likes his work so she goes to his website to look at some of his photos. In this movie he’s a pioneer of HDR photography. She decides to shoot him an email to tell him she likes his work. However, the email ends up in his son’s hand who proceeds to have a back and forth with her pretending to be his dad. He wants her to meet his dad. Her invites her over, something happens weather wise, and that’s how the two are forced to spend time with each other till they fall in love. This movie goes so far as to have him literally show up on a white horse at the end to take her away.

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It’s really boring. There are much better Hallmark romance films out there. Go with Be My Valentine out of the four movies I mentioned here.

However, it does have one thing that is of note for someone like myself who has seen too many Hallmark movies. In three other Hallmark movies they either mention or outright have one of the actors play the Wii. In this one they have moved from pushing that Nintendo console to pushing the Wii U.

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What Lisa Watched Last Night #138: UnGodly Acts (directed by Carl Bessai)


Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, UnGodly Acts.

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Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course!

What Was It About?

Outside of a farmhouse in Georgia, Melissa (Megan Park) has been discovered dead.  At first, it looks like she committed suicide but then a bearded guy named Adam (Iain Belcher) announces that he killed her.  It turns out that not only is Adam a schizophrenic who hears voices but he’s also the member of a fundamentalist religious cult.  The head of the cult is the clean-cut Daniel (Brant Daugherty).  Daniel has teeth that are so white that he can probably hypnotize people just by smiling at them.  Another interesting fact about Daniel?  He was married to Melissa, which didn’t prevent him from having sex with the other men in the cult.

Through flashbacks, we discover how Daniel first recruited his cult.  We see how Melissa arranged for Daniel to perform an exorcism on Adam and “cure” him of the voices in his head.  We watch as Daniel becomes more and more domineering and Melissa finds herself becoming disillusioned with him.

What Worked?

UnGodly Acts was a gorgeous film to look at.  British Columbia stood in for Georgia and it looked absolutely beautiful!  Cult life is definitely not for me but I was impressed with how neat and impeccably decorated the inside of that farmhouse was.  I give the cult mad respect for its housekeeping skills.

Brant Daugherty was appropriately charismatic as Daniel, though the film was ultimately stolen by the wonderfully jumpy Iain Belcher.  That said, my favorite character was Matt, who was played by Aidan Khan and who has a truly legendary mustache.

What Did Not Work?

The film was a bit overdirected.  I’m as big a fan of dutch angles as anyone but, after a while, it got all too predictable and I was just like, “Oh, someone’s being interrogated.  Time for the camera to start tilting again.”

It was a strange viewing experience, to be honest.  It was a good film but it was never truly memorable.  It was just missing something.  Add to that, the film ended without definitely solving its main mystery and, needless to say, that was more than frustrating.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

For once, there were none.  I was surprised.  Maybe I would have related to the film more if I was a protestant.  Who knows?

Lessons Learned

Just because you’re in a cult, doesn’t mean you can’t keep a clean house.

4 Shots from 4 Films: Beantown Crime Wave!


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films.  As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking. After watching Black Mass last night, I thought it’d be fun to take a look at some other Boston-based crime films from over the years. So here are four scenes from four wicked cool films:

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Mystery Street (1950)

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The Boston Strangler (1968)

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The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)

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The Boondock Saints (1999) 

Here Are 6 Trailers That You Can’t Refuse!


Hi there!

It’s Sunday and that means that it’s time for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film trailers!  In honor of Black Mass, these trailers are all mob-related!

1)  Machine Gun McCain (1969)

2) Family Enforcer (1976)

3) The Don Is Dead (1973)

4) The Stone Killer (1973)

5) Murder, Inc. (1960)

6) The Brotherhood (1968)

What do you think, Trailer Possums?

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Fall is Back and so is new TV!


Finally, we get to the fall season! Cooler temps, the sun sets earlier, the leaves change to beautiful colors! And you know what that means? Real TV is back! We are done with the summer “reality crap” No more of ‘How do I magic this’ or ‘Network burns off this show’ or ‘my Big Brother watches this house’. We get real TV back! The TV I want to watch. And they are several Shows I have set my DVR for.

I will take these in order of the day they show on, and full disclosure, I have seen a couple of the pilots, I will note them if I have.

Monday:

We all know “Gotham” is coming back with it’s new season, ‘Rise of the villains.’ I have not seen the screener for “Gotham” but the trailer looks awesome!

Also, on Monday, Fox will premier it’s new show “Minority Report” based on the Steven Spielberg movie of the same name. I have seen this pilot and although I try to give each show a four episode test…don’t bother.
But if you must look, here is a glimpse ..
Tuesday
Tuesdays are going to be way over loaded this year! We got “Scream Queens” and “The Muppets” (as of this writing, I have only seen the screener for “The Muppets,” which is hilarious!) I will have to watch “Scream Queens” live with you!
But the trailers are here;
“Scream Queens“
And
“The Muppets“
Wednesday:
The reboot of “Rosewood” is here! Ok, I have to admit, I loved the original series and I have seen the pilot of the reboot. Against the popular opinion, I actually thought it was a great pilot reboot! Judge for yourself!
Thursday:
“Heroes;Reborn“
Heroes was great during season one, But let’s not forget what happened during season two and the writers strike!
I want “Heroes” to be the success it was before.
Like it or not…you can be reborn here.
That was just a little of what I will cover this fall!
Remember, TV is great!

Here’s the Second Trailer for Point Break!


Look, I’ll be honest with you.  I made it about halfway through this 2 minute 30 second trailer before the nonstop testosterone got so overwhelming that I stopped watching.  From what I saw, Point Break kind of looks like an attempt to do a Fast and Furious-type movie without featuring any of the self-awareness that make the Fast and Furious movies so much fun.

But who knows?  I’ve been wrong before.

For some reason, this movie is opening on Christmas Day.

Here’s The Second Trailer For Steve Jobs!


I’m kind of torn as far as the upcoming Steve Jobs films is concerned.

It’s about Steve Jobs, about whom I’m not really that interested.

But it stars Michael Fassbender, who I absolutely love.

It was written by Aaron Sorkin, whose work I usually find to be overwitten and cutesy.

But it was directed by Danny Boyle, who is one of my favorite directors.

Plus, it also features Kate Winslet, who I absolutely adore, and Seth Rogen, who I think could be an intriguing dramatic actor.  As well, it looks like it’s going to be nominated for a bunch of Oscars so I’m going to have to see it whether I want to or not.

Here’s the 2nd trailer for Steve Jobs.  It’s definitely better than the first trailer.

Film Review: Black Mass (dir by Scott Cooper)


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You know how sometimes you watch a movie and you’re happy because you know it’s a good movie but, at the same time, you end up feeling slightly disappointed because, as good as it may be, it never quite becomes the great movie that you were hoping for?

That was kind of my reaction to Black Mass.

Black Mass tells the true story of James “Whitey” Bulger, the gangster who controlled the Boston underworld from the late 70s to the mid-90s.  Bulger was both famous and feared for his ruthless brutality and his willingness to murder just about anyone.  Bulger was also famous for being the brother of Billy Bulger, a powerful Democratic politician.  When it appeared that Whitey was finally on the verge of being indicted, he vanished into thin air and, for 2 decades, remained missing until he was finally captured in Florida.  Whitey Bulger is now serving two life sentences.

Black Mass is a solid gangster film.  We watch as Whitey (Johnny Depp) takes over Boston and essentially murders anyone who gets on his nerves.  Helping Whitey out is a local FBI Agent, John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), who grew up in South Boston with the Bulger brothers.  While Connolly originally only appears to be using Whitey as an informant to help take down the Italian mob, it quickly becomes obvious that Connolly envies the power and influence of both Whitey and Billy (played by Benedict Cumberbatch).  Soon, Connolly has become something of a Bulger groupie and is protecting Whitey from prosecution and even leaking him the names of anyone who attempts to inform on Bulger’s crime.

Indeed, the film’s best scenes are the ones in which it is shown how the FBI’s determination to take down the Mafia allowed the far more violent Bulger to move into their place.  Bulger was a criminal who worked for and was protected by the U.S. government and, as such, his story serves as a metaphor for a lot of what is currently messed up about America.  While I appreciated the time that Black Mass devoted to exploring Whitey’s relationship with the FBI, I do wish it had spent more time exploring his relationship with his brother, Billy.  The film places most of the blame for Whitey’s reign of terror on the FBI but it defies common sense not to assume that Whitey was also protected by his well-connected, politically powerful brother.

Black Mass contains all of the usual gangster film tropes.  There are sudden and violent executions.  There are drug addicted criminals who turn out to be less than trustworthy.  (Poor Peter Sarsgaard.)  There’s the usual talk of honor and respect.  Beefy men with pockmarked faces stand in the shadows and shout random insults at each other until someone finally snaps.  And, of course, we get the countless scenes where Bulger’s demeanor goes from friendly to threatening and we’re left wondering if he’s going to smile or if he’s going to kill someone.  It may all be a little bit familiar but director Scott Cooper handles it all well and keeps things watchable.

In this 122-minute film, there are exactly two scenes in which Whitey is in any way sympathetic.  In one scene, he breaks down after the death of his son and, in the other, he deals with the death of his mother.  These are the only two scenes in which Whitey shows any hint of humanity.  Otherwise, Bulger is presented as being almost pure evil.  He’s no Michael Corleone, trying to go straight and making excuses for the family business.  Nor does he possess the enjoyable flamboyance of Scareface‘s Tony Montana or The Departed‘s Frank Costello.  Instead, he’s a pure sociopath and  the film’s most effective shots are the ones that focus on Whitey’s expressionless gaze.  They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and one only has to look into Bulger’s to see that they are windows without a view.

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Johnny Depp deserves all the credit in the world for making Whitey into a compelling character.  Wisely, Depp underplays Whitey’s most threatening scenes.  He rarely raises his voice and the only time he loses control of his emotions is when he’s confronted with something — like the death of his son — that even he can’t change.  Otherwise, Depp plays Whitey as always being in control.  (It’s mentioned, at one point, that Whitey was the subject of 50 LSD experiments while serving time in prison and Depp plays Whitey as if he’s always staring at something that nobody else can see.)  It’s his confidence that makes Whitey Bulger an interesting character.  You may not like him but you can’t look away because you know that he’s literally capable of anything.  Ever since the trailer for Black Mass was first released, Depp has been at the center of awards speculation.  Having seen the film, I can say that the Oscar talk is more than deserved.  He’s even better than people like me thought he would be.

Depp is so good that he overshadows the rest of the cast.  There’s a lot of good actors in this film, including Kevin Bacon, James Russo, Peter Sarsgaard, Corey Stoll, Jesse Plemons, and Rory Cochrane.  But few of them get as much of a chance to make an impression as Johnny Depp.  Much as Whitey dominated Boston, Depp dominates this film.  Joel Edgerton has several great moments as the not-as-smart-as-he-thinks-he-is Connolly but even he is thoroughly overshadowed by Depp’s performance.  (That said, I did appreciate the fact that Edgerton’s too-eager-to-please Connolly came across like he might be a cousin to The Gift‘s Gordo the Weirdo.)

As I said at the beginning of this review, Black Mass is good but it was never quite as great as I was hoping it would be.  There’s a few too many scenes where you get the feeling that Scott Cooper woke up the day of shooting and said, “Let’s Scorsese the shit out of this scene.”  As a result, Black Mass sometimes struggles to escape from the shadow cast by Goodfellas, Casino, The Departed, American Gangster, and the countless other mob films that have been released over the past few decades.  Black Mass is well-made and will forever be remembered for Johnny Depp’s amazing lead performance but it never quite reaches the status of a classic.

Finally, on a personal note, I did enjoy the fact that Black Mass dealt with the Irish mob.  I’m a little bit torn in my loyalties because I’m Irish-Italian but, if I ever had to pick a mob to which to serve as a cheerleader, I would go Irish Mafia all the way!

Sláinte!

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Film Review: Monster High (1989, dir. Rudy Poe)


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Since I want to watch and review all those animated movies that have come out in the last 5 years or so called Monster High, I thought I needed to watch this. Dear God, I hope they have nothing to do with each other. So let’s talk about this Monster High that is totally not supposed to resemble Class of Nuke ‘Em High (1986) in anyway.

It begins by giving us a warning:

“WARNING
Some scenes may be considered objectionable by sensitive viewers, dead people and farm animals. On the other hand, if you like that sort of thing…”

I’ve sat through Salo, among other things, so I wouldn’t say I’m a sensitive viewer. I’m dead inside, but I don’t think that counts. I’m definitely not a farm animal even though I guess I can be milked. That’s the kind of jokes to expect in this movie. It’s 80’s lowbrow shlock. So what’s next movie?

“Picture in your mind the farthest point in the universe. Our story begins just a couple of blocks past that.”

This is a lot of build up for a movie that’s just a series of bad jokes with monsters in a high school. Now we are introduced to a guy with the longest name and title I think I have ever seen in a movie.

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He notices that for some reason the destruction of Earth has been postponed. Apparently, Mr. Armageddon is to blame. So the Monster In Charge orders a report on the last 24 hrs of Mr. Armageddon’s existence. Why? I can only guess because they thought the movie wasn’t annoying enough without one, so we need a narrator. The Monster In Charge puts a CD that looks like a GameCube disc into his computer and starts to watch the video report. We meet Dume and Glume who have stolen the “ultimate weapon”. Unfortunately, they don’t get far. The box drops on and kills a dog (Shicksah Anne Spear) in front of a high school.

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And yes, that is the actual name of the dog in real life. I love when a movie credits something that isn’t human so it ends up in IMDb as an actor. The dog is just continuing in the fine tradition of it’s predecessor’s such as the chicken named Friendly in Supercock (1975).

The doomsday weapon turns out to be a basketball. This happens at exactly the same time when Mr. Armageddon is woken up by his alarm clock. Oh, and if you think that means there is going to be a 25 minute long sequence where the kids play basketball with Mr. Armageddon and some monsters for the fate of the world, then you’re sadly correct.

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Yeah, that clock is probably the only actual funny thing in the movie. So, of course Mr. Armageddon comes to the school and puts Dume and Glume on ice. Then he goes over to a statue and turns it into a “horny rubber monster”. Think that’s the only condom joke in this movie? Of course not!

Now the mayhem begins. Mr. Armageddon has some weird priorities in who he kills. First he offs one of the Cheerleaders/Pep Club members, which makes sense for a horror movie. But before he gets to the second one, he finds Todd Uppington Smythe AKA Dickhead to his friends and uses a “Can O’ Condom” on him.

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But he gets it off and I guess he’s the one who becomes a zombie as a result? I’m not sure. Then another cheerleader dies. Well, now Mr. Armageddon needs to get some allies. Oh, and Dume and Glume woke up during this time. He makes a mummy come alive. He creates a monster with a computer monitor for a head. He starts growing a killer weed. And since it’s random in the movie, there’s this guy who keeps appearing to wake up from a nightmare, but it’s just reality again.

Need another low brow joke? Now we are informed by our useless narrator that Dume and Glume’s ineptness can be illustrated by the fact that they were once a “third-rate song-and-dance act.” Let’s hear those lyrics!

“You got your penis and your prostate and your ovaries.
You got your fimbriae and your scrotum sac.
And if your hymen is gone it ain’t coming back.”

Truly the Lennon and McCartney of their world. Wait, why am I describing this garbage? Here’s the highlights.

The monster that comes out of a guy's shoe after that's all that is left of him.

The monster that comes out of a guy’s shoe after that’s all that is left of him.

The advanced sex ed classroom. No joke, that's what they call it.

The advanced sex ed classroom. No joke, that’s what they call it.

Because this was 1989. Do I have to spell out what this is from?

Because this was 1989. Do I have to spell out what this is from?

When you do weed. A literal giant weed will come and drag you away.

When you do weed. A literal giant weed will come and drag you away.

Now the surviving kids strike a deal with Mr. Armageddon to play a game of basketball to postpone the destruction of Earth by 1,000 years. Yeah, it’s as dumb as you think it is.

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Pretty sad looking team, huh? Not as sad as their cheering section.

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Mr. Armageddon is winning the game because his computer player is an excellent shot. So the kids figure out a way to reprogram him. To do that, they need to fight a zombie. Once that’s done, the humans win the game. Oh, but only after a scene of the winning shot where the ball dances around the rim. This must go on for a minute and a half or more. it’s really stupid.

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Then Mr. Armageddon and the monsters are sent away. That’s it! That’s really it. It’s basically a poor man’s version of Class of Nuke ‘Em High. A bevy of sex jokes with some actual bare breasts. Poor attempts to make fun of movie cliches. In particular, making fun of horror movies. I like a good piece of 80’s garbage as much as the next person, but this is just lousy. I can’t recommend it.

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