Category Archives: Film Review

The New Centurions (1972, directed by Richard Fleischer)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Fresh from the police academy, three rookie cops are assigned to a precinct in East L.A.  Gus (Scott Wilson) is a father of three who just wants to do a good job and support his family.  Sergio (Erik Estrada) is a former gang member who saw the police academy as a way to get out of his old neighborhood, and Roy (Stacy Keach) is a new father who is going to law school at night.  Most of the movie centers on Roy, who goes from being an idealistic rookie to being a hardened veteran and who comes to love the job so much that he abandons law school and eventually loses his family.  Roy’s wife (Jane Alexander) comes to realize that Roy will never be able to relate to anyone other than his fellow cops.  Roy’s mentor is Andy Kilvinski (George C. Scott), a tough but warm-hearted survivor who has never been shot once and whose mandatory retirement is approaching.

Based on an autobiographical novel by real-life policeman Joseph Wambaugh, The New Centurion’s episodic structure allows the film to touch on all the issues, good and bad, that come with police work.  Gus is shaken after he accidentally shoots a civilian.  Sergio feels the burden of patrolling the streets on which he grew up.  Roy becomes a good cop but at the cost of everything else in his life and he deals with the stress by drinking.  There are moments of humor and moments of seriousness and then a tragic ending.  Just as Wambaugh’s book was acclaimed for its insight and its realistic portrayal of the pressures of being a policeman, the movie could have been one of the definitive portraits of being a street cop, except that it was directed in a workmanlike fashion by Richard Fleischer.  Instead of being the ultimate cop movie, The New Centurions feels more like an especially good episode of Police Story or Hill Street Blues.  (The New Centurions and Hill Street Blues both feature James B. Sikking as a pipe-smoking, martinet commander.)

George C. Scott, though.  What a great actor!  Scott only has a supporting role but he’s so good as Kilvinski that you miss him when he’s not around and, when he leaves, the movie gets a lot less interesting.  Scott makes Kilvinski the ultimate beat cop and he delivers the closest thing that The New Centurions has to a cohesive message.  A cop can leave the beat but the beat is never going to leave him.

Brad reviews MEN & CHICKEN (2015), starring Mads Mikkelsen!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

MEN & CHICKEN (2015) is the story of two estranged, and flat out strange, brothers, Gabriel (David Dencik) and Elias (Mads Mikkelsen), who find out a family secret when their father passes away. It turns out that their “dad” is not their biological father, so the two brothers head out to find their real one. They know he’s a reclusive scientist named Evelio Thanatos, and that he lives on a remote island. When they arrive on his island, they meet their three half-brothers Josef (Nicolas Bro), Gregor (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) and Franz (Soren Malling), who are some real weirdos, and who are prone to violently beat visitors in the head with heavy cookware and stuffed beavers. After taking a couple of beatings from their brothers, Gabriel and Elias are able to work their way into their family’s dilapidated mansion where they find that it is filled with chickens, pigs and a bull named Isak. This is a strange group, with each brother exhibiting certain physical abnormalities and odd behaviors. There’s something dark going on here… and why won’t their new brothers let Gabriel and Elias meet their dad, who apparently sleeps all day in an upstairs room? The remainder of the film deals with the brothers getting to know each other and discovering their family’s deep, dark, animalistic secrets!

I’ve presented a plot summary of MEN & CHICKEN above, but no summary can really do this film justice. It’s a film that has to be seen to be believed. The first thing I really noted about the film is its complete commitment to its weird tone and a twisted sense of humor. We meet Mikkelsen’s character Elias on the most awkward date ever, which he follows up by going to the bathroom and immediately masturbating. We soon learn that masturbating is just something he always has to do. The way his brother accepts the behavior as if it’s no different than him tying his shoes is odd and funny at the same time. There’s also a sight gag early in the film where Gabriel is watching from afar as his brother is being beaten repeatedly in the head by kitchen pots the size of bathtubs that made me laugh out loud. Of course, it’s meant to be funny, but the film’s visuals are also realistic enough that when we see Elias up close his face is a bloody mess! I haven’t watched a lot of Danish films in my life, but I’m starting to get a sense of just how twisted their senses of humor can get! Director and writer Anders Thomas Jensen is somehow able to balance the dark comedy of his setup, the strange nature of the characters he’s created, and the grotesque, horrific visuals that we see inside their family home in a way that’s both absurd and increasingly poignant as the film continues on. I’m so used to movies that follow the same plot points and formulas, but Jensen’s films are wildly unpredictable. You truly never know what you’re about to see next, to both good and bad effect, but it’s definitely not boring!

Mads Mikkelsen is incredible as brother Elias. This role could not possibly be farther away from his repressed badass in Jensen’s RIDERS OF JUSTICE, but you can’t take your eyes off of him. As odd and repulsive as his character can be, the actor’s instincts for absurd comedy are perfectly on display and he’s incredible. I also liked actor David Dencik as his brother Gabriel. His more “normal” character grounds the film as all sorts of craziness is going on around him. They complement each other well. I also recognized Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro as two of the odd brothers, who were also in RIDERS OF JUSTICE. It’s fun seeing Jensen’s stock players in such unique and versatile performances.

After having now watched Jensen’s films MEN & CHICKEN and RIDERS OF JUSTICE, one of the things I’m picking up on is his ability to create an endearing “family” out of almost any kind of circumstances. These are some of the most strange and troubled people that you will ever see on screen, but beneath the perversity of it all, a theme emerges on the power and acceptance that can be experienced inside of a family, and, ultimately, on the nature of humanity itself. It may not be altogether realistic, but there’s an idealism and hope that resonates with me. 

As I wrap this up, let me just say that MEN & CHICKEN is not for everyone, so I can’t recommend it wholeheartedly. It goes to some deep, dark places in both its humor and the revelation of their dad’s disturbing scientific experiments. However, adventurous viewers with a perverse sense of humor and a willingness to follow a story wherever it may lead will be rewarded by this wholly unique film. A 25 year old me would have probably not been a fan, but 50+ year old me thinks it’s great!!

So, I Watched Grind (2003, Dir. by Casey La Scala)

Posted on by Dazzling Erin

Grind is about four annoying skaters who are obsessed with bodily functions and who want to get sponsored so they travel across the country and try to con their way into competing in events.  Adam Brody plays the skater who lets them use his college fund to pay for their road trip, which was really stupid of him to do.  They got sponsored but not because they’re any good.  They just happen to meet a skater named Jamie (Jennifer Morrison) who knows their hero (Jason London) and helps them out because she’s nice.  I’m nice too but I wouldn’t have helped out those chuckleheads.  I guess the lesson here is that you should just stand around and eventually, someone will give you some money.

When I started Grind, I thought it seemed familiar but I could have sworn that I have never seen it before.  Then Matt (Vince Vieluf), one of the most disgusting character to ever appear in a movie, told a woman that he was a representative of the “Release Them Twins Foundation,” and I remembered that, when this movie came out, MTV used to show the commercial for it a hundred times a day. I remembered thinking, at the time, that it looked like the dumbest movie ever made and it turns out I was right.

If I had to choose between rewatching Grind or watching two hours of projectile vomit, it wouldn’t be a choice because they’re pretty much the same thing.

Lifetime Film Review: My Amish Double Life (dir by Cooper Harrington)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2025’s My Amish Double Life, Lexi Minetree plays Emma, a young Amish woman who suspects that her father was murdered and who starts sneaking into the city so that she can see for herself what life is like amongst the English.

While hanging out at the club with her friend Rebecca (Rebecca Coopes), Emma meets the handsome and charming Heath (Ty Trumbo).  When Emma, much like Cinderella at midnight, announces that she has to go home, Heath asks her to meet with him the next day.  He says he really likes her.  Even though it goes against her way of life, Emma does so.  In fact, Emma even ends up at Heath’s large and beautiful home.  Unfortunately, when another woman is murdered by a scythe-wielding assailant, Emma finds herself trapped in a web of deception and danger!

Oh, the Amish!  I feel kind of bad for them.  For the most part, they just want to be left alone but, over the past few years, Lifetime and Hallmark have become obsessed with them.  As a result, we’ve gotten several movies about life amongst the Amish.  On Hallmark, Amish men and woman are falling in love with the English.  On Lifetime, young Amish women are having to solve murders and stand up to condescending male elders.  For the most part, most of these films present the Amish as just being a bunch of people who wear old timey clothes and work on farms.  And certainly, I imagine that the farms and the clothes are an important part of Amish life but it’s still hard not to feel that most of these movies are simplifying things a bit.  If nothing else, they tend to ignore the huge role that both religion and pacifism play in the Amish community.  There’s also a tendency to assume that every Amish person secretly yearns to sneak off to the big city.  In the movies, the Amish obsess about life amongst “the English.”  In reality, it seems to be the other way around.

(I should mention that there’s a fascinating documentary called Devil’s Playground, which follows a group of Amish teenagers on Rumspringa.  I recommend it for anyone who is curious about the Amish.)

But what about My Amish Double Life?  Is it an entertaining film?  Heck yeah, it’s an entertaining film.  I mean, let’s set aside the question of accuracy.  This is a Lifetime film.  You’re not watching it for accuracy.  You’re watching it for the melodrama.  You’re watching it for the mystery.  You’re watching it for the clothes and the houses.  That’s why we watch Lifetime films.  My Amish Double Life had a good mystery, one that features several viable suspects.  Clothes?  Not only did we get old timey Amish clothes but we also got sneaking off to the club in the middle of the night clothes!  Houses?  Heath lives in a mansion and the Amish farmhouses were pretty cozy too!  And melodrama?  This film totally embraced the melodrama!  Lexi Minetree was a sympathetic lead, Lesa Wilson did a good job as her overprotective mother, and Rachel Coopes was a force of chaos as the Amish girl who liked to break the rules.  It was an entertaining film, which is the main thing that a Lifetime film should be.

Seriously, though — if you’re in Pennsylvania and you see a horse-drawn buggy on the road, be polite when you pass and don’t gawk.  The Amish are just living their lives.

The Films of 2025: The Surfer (dir by Lorcan Finnegan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Surfer (Nicolas Cage) is an American who has returned to the Australian beach where his dad used to surf.  He wants to buy a home overlooking the ocean.  Even more importantly, he wants to surf with his teenage son (Finn Little).  As the Surfer and his son walk towards the water, they are confronted by three men.  The leader of the men goes by the name of Pitbull (Alexander Bertrand).

“Don’t live here,” Pitbull says, “don’t surf here.”

The Surfer assures Pitbull that his son is an amazing surfer.  (The Surfer’s son looks embarrassed.)

“Don’t live here, don’t surf here,” Pitbull replies.

Pitbull is a member of a cult of local surfers, all of whom follow Scally (Julian McMahon), a self-appointed guru who recites his rules with a ruthless but charismatic intensity.  Scally brands his followers, burning their flesh in a ritual to announce that they are now a part of his family.  “Before you can surf, you must suffer,” Scally says.

Now, to be honest, I would just go to a different beach.  I’m not a surfer.  I’m not even that much of a swimmer.  I do, however, enjoy laying out on a nice beach or by a big swimming pool.  One thing that I’ve learned is that, when the cult arrives, you leave.  Seriously, there’s always somewhere better to go.  Any place that does not have a cult will be infinitely better than a place that does.

The Surfer’s son agrees with me and suggests just going to another beach but that’s not an option for the Surfer.  The Surfer is obsessed with Scally’s beach and he’s determined to surf it.  It was on that beach where the Surfer made his best childhood memories.  It was on that beach where his father died.  The Surfer sends his son back home and then the Surfer literally moves into his Lexus.  He sleeps in the parking lot and he keeps an obsessive eye on the beach.

People come and go.  The Surfer meets the Bum (Nic Cassim), who claims that Scally is responsible for the death of both his dog and his son.  A local cop comes by and is quickly revealed to be a member of Scally’s cult.  The Surfer become more and more disheveled.  He loses his money.  He loses his car.  He runs into his real estate agent (Rahel Romahn) but the agent says that he’s never seen the Surfer before.  The Surfer starts to hallucinate and can no longer keep straight who is who.  What at first seemed like an intense midlife crisis and a desire to reclaim one’s youth starts to seem like something much more troubling and potentially psychotic.  Everyone tells The Surfer to leave.  Everyone tells him that he’s never going to get his house and he’s never going to surfer the beach.  But, like the Bum, the Surfer is a man obsessed.

The Surfer is an intriguing film.  At first, it seems like it’s going to be another Nicolas Cage revenge film.  Then, it becomes a surreal head trip, one that leaves you wondering just who exactly Cage’s surfer actually is.  Unfortunately, the film loses it’s way during its final third and instead becomes a rather mundane thriller.  That said, the cinematography is gorgeous and, if you’re a fan of Cage’s unique style (as I am), this film allows him a chance to get totally unhinged.  I wish the film had stuck with its surreal implications rather than chickening out during the final third but still, The Surfer and Nicolas Cage held my interest.

The Lords of Flatbush (1974, directed by Stephen F. Verona and Martin Davidson)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

The year is 1958 and four Brooklyn teenagers, all members of a largely non-violent street gang called The Lords of Flatbush, have enough grease in their hair to start a city-wide kitchen fire.  It’s their senior year of high school.  Chico (Perry King) tries to hook up with a new, blonde transfer student (Susan Blakely).  Butchey (Henry Winkler) makes everyone laugh and hides the fact that he’s secretly really smart.  Stanley (Sylvester Stallone) deals with his impending marriage to Frannie (Maria Smith).  Everyone has to grow up eventually but at least the Lords of Flatbush will always have their memories and probably their leather jackets.

Nostalgia films that were extremely popular in the 70s, as the baby boomers were already starting to mythologize their youth.  Lords of Flatbush is very much about that nostalgia, leading to a film that feels sincere but which is also pretty predictable.  With its coming-of-age storylines and its mix of drama and comedy, Lords of Flatbush owes an obvious debt to American Graffiti.  The movie, like its characters, is likable but not exactly memorable.  Today, it’s really only known because it featured early performances from Sylvester Stallone and Henry Winkler.  Winkler got his signature role as the Fonz on Happy Days largely based on his performance as Butchey, though Butchey is nowhere near as cool as the Fonz.  Pre-Rocky, this movie was Stallone’s calling card in Hollywood and he rewrote enough of his own lines that he got an additional dialogue credit.  Stallone actually gives a pretty good performance, even if he is obviously closer to 30 than 18.

Stallone’s best scene is when Stanley is trying to buy an engagement ring and Frannie insists that he buy one that costs $1,600.  For the first time, Stanley realizes that getting married means committing to something other than hanging out with his friends and working on his car.  Stanley buys the ring but threatens the jewelry store owner afterwards, telling him to never show Frannie a $1,600 ring again.

The Lords of Flatbush is a film about the past but it’s mostly interesting due to the future of its stars.

Brad reviews RIDERS OF JUSTICE (2020), starring Mads Mikkelsen!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

RIDERS OF JUSTICE (2020) is the genre-bending story of Markus (Mads Mikkelsen), a badass soldier who returns to his home in Denmark after his wife dies in a train accident. His daughter Mathilde (Andrea Heick Gadeberg), who survived the accident that took her mother’s life, needs her dad to help her through this difficult time, but he has no idea how to process what happened and is failing miserably. Enter Otto (Nikolaj Lie Kaas), a data analyst and another survivor of the train crash. Otto tells Markus that his mathematical analysis indicates that the “accident” was actually the staged assassination of a person on the train by a group of criminals who go by the name “Riders of Justice,” and that his wife was an innocent casualty of that attack. Otto also brings along his eccentric, intelligent and emotionally troubled friends Lennart (Lars Brygmann) and Emmenthaler (Nicolas Bro) to help convince Markus of their findings. Markus accepts their premise, mainly because he wants someone to blame and take vengeance upon. Soon, the badass and the unlikely trio of nerds set out to kick ass, compute probabilities, hack computers, and get in touch with their innermost feelings. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, with both blood and tears flowing like raging rivers!

I must admit that prior to sitting down with a group of friends and watching RIDERS OF JUSTICE this weekend, I had never heard of the film. It came out during the COVID lockdown periods of 2020 and 2021 and somehow flew completely under my radar. I’m so glad my friend Stewart chose the film for us to watch because it’s filled with awesome action sequences, absurdist comedy, and real human emotions. I also give it bonus points for being a Christmas movie, as it begins and ends with musical renditions of “The Little Drummer Boy,” even featuring Mads Mikkelsen wearing an ugly Christmas sweater!

I’ll start my discussion of the film with Mads Mikkelsen, an actor I’ve always appreciated, as the emotionally repressed and extremely lethal soldier, Markus. Usually a film like this would star someone like Jason Statham or Liam Neeson and focus solely on his quest for vengeance and not detour too much from those goals. This movie leaves us with no doubt of Markus’ killing abilities, but it also forces him to deal with his daughter’s feelings, as well as her sensitive boyfriend’s attempts to help him heal. Men who try to push Markus into revealing his feelings usually end up with a black eye or broken nose. But to his credit, he usually does feel bad about it afterwards. Next we have Otto, the nerd whose math calculations convince Markus that the riders of justice need to die. Otto is a sweet guy who truly wants to help Markus and Mathilde, but we find out over the course of the film that beneath his pleasant personality is a life fueled by guilt and shame. And then there’s Otto’s nerdy friends Lennart and Emmenthaler. I won’t go into all of the details of their lives, but these guys are also revealed to be thoughtful, kind, angry, funny, and extremely damaged depending on the time and the circumstances. On a funny side note, Emmenthaler’s unexpected ability to assemble a weapon is second to none. RIDERS OF JUSTICE pulls off the genuinely surprising feat of creating a “family” out of this mismatched group, and we see how they come to help each other and depend on each other. This makes the stakes so much higher when they inevitably must battle the evil riders of justice. The movie is funny, dramatic, and badass in equal measures and somehow it all works! 

RIDERS OF JUSTICE was written and directed by a Danish filmmaker named Anders Thomas Jensen. I’m going to be emotionally vulnerable here and admit that I was completely unaware of Jensen, and that he and Mikkelson have an ongoing director / star, filmmaking collaboration that extends back to 2000 and currently includes six movies, with their latest, THE LAST VIKING (AKA BACK TO REALITY), set to be released in the fall of 2025. This collaboration also includes the actors Nicolaj Lie Kaas, Nicolas Bro and, with increasing frequency, Lars Brygmann. Based on my appreciation of RIDERS OF JUSTICE, I will be going back in time and watching some of their previous films to see how they stack up, and I’ll be looking forward with great anticipation to the release of their most recent work later this year. One of the great joys of cinema is the discovery of something new and special. I feel like this may have just happened for me again with a late night viewing of RIDERS OF JUSTICE!

Funny Farm (1988, directed by George Roy Hill)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Andy Farmer (Chevy Chase) is a New York sports writer who leaves the city and moves to the small town of Rosebud, Vermont so that he can work on his novel.  He and his wife, Elizabeth (Madolyn Smith), struggle to adjust to living in a small town.  The delivery of their furniture is delayed by the collapse of a covered bridge.  When they try to make a phone call from inside their own house, the local operator tells them to deposit ten cents.  They were expecting a Norman Rockwell-type town and instead, they find themselves having to pay for the funeral of a man who was buried on their property long before they moved in.  When Elizabeth makes more progress writing a children’s book than Andy does with his heist novel, their marriage starts to feel the strain.

Chevy Chase is now so much better known for the stories of his unprofessional and diva-like behavior on film and television sets that it’s easy to forget that he was, at his peak, a very funny actor.  Chase may be playing a variation of his put-upon everyman but, compared to the first two Vacation movies, most of the humor in Funny Farm is very mild.  George Roy Hill was a classy director who had been making movies since the 50s and Funny Farm feels like a throwback to the type of family-friendly comedies that Disney would make in the 60s.  That I laughed as much as I did was largely due to Chase’s performance.  Whether he was tripping over a Dutch door, reacting to his wife’s dislike of the first few chapters of his new novel, or offering to pay the townspeople $50 to pretend to be nice for a weekend, Chase was consistently funny and even likable.  I don’t know if this is the type of performance that Chevy Chase could give today.  There’s a bitterness that’s now integral to screen persona and it’s made him into someone who audience want to laugh at instead of with.  It’s too bad because Funny Farm is a reminder of the type of comedic actor that Chevy Chase used to be and who he probably still could be if not for the failed talk show and the infamous Friar’s Club roast.

As for Funny Farm, it’s an amusing and likable comedy and it still holds up well today.  Chase is the key to the film’s success but he’s not the only reason that the film works.  I liked the scene where Mike Starr and Glenn Plummer, as the two movers, watch as the bridge they tried to drive over collapses.  I even liked the running joke about the two ducks who refused to leave the Farmers’s property.  Funny Farm may not have been a hit when it was first released but it’s since built up a cult following.  There will always be a place for a funny comedy that leaves you in a good mood.

10 Films For The Weekend (6/13/25)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are just a few recommendations from a girl who is currently packing for her vacation!

Happy Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th kind of snuck up on me this year, which is a shame because this is the only Friday the 13th that we’re going to get in 2025.  I have a feeling that I’m not alone in being taken by surprise, though.  Usually the streaming services make a bigger deal about Friday the 13th.  This year, only Pluto TV has the complete series available to stream.

That said, you can watch the first Friday the 13th (1980) on Tubi.  Though the films were never critical favorites and I doubt they’ll ever have a Halloween-style resurgence (and really, that’s the way I like it because the last thing that horror fans need or deserve is for David Gordon Green to screw up Jason like he did Michael), the first Friday the 13th is still entertaining to watch.  It’s interesting to see how much the first few films drew from the Italian giallo movies.  The first Friday the 13th is even a whodunit, featuring a killer wearing gloves!  It also features a young Kevin Bacon in a speedo so what’s your excuse for not watching?  Personally, I always relate to Marcie in this film.  I imagine I’d share the same fate if I ever found myself working at a summer camp, wandering around in my underwear and saying, “C’mon, guys….” until someone got annoyed and hit me with an axe.  You can watch the film on Tubi.

Friday the 13th: Part 2 (1981) is actually a really good horror movie, featuring interesting victims and, for the first time, Jason Voorhees as the killer.  Jason dresses like a hillbilly in this one.  Amy Steel is a badass heroine.  Russell Todd’s an incredibly handsome man.  The film itself actually has some wonderfully creepy shots, from the POV tracking shot that creeps up on Lauren-Marie Taylor to the shadowy shot of the cars driving into town.  It can be viewed on Pluto.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) was quite obviously not the final chapter but it was, in my opinion, the best of the films.  Everyone remembers this one for Corey Feldman as Tommy Jarvis and Crispin Glover as one of the victims but really, the entire cast does a great job of bringing their characters to life and actually making them interesting for once.  My heart always breaks a little for Peter Barton and Barbara Howard.  They were such a cute couple.  It can be viewed on Pluto.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1987) is hardly the best of the Friday films but I have to admit that I’ve always kind of liked it.  Not only does it feature the first appearance of Zombie Jason but it also features enough strange plot twists to keep things watchable.  The recently passed Lar Park Lincoln plays Tina, the girl with psychic powers and she gives a far better performance than the material probably deserved.  Terry Kiser plays “Bad News” Crews.  It can be viewed on Pluto.

Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood (1971) is a classic giallo and it features a rare (and successful) stab at social satire on the part of Mario Bava.  It’s also interesting to see the scenes that were lifted, almost shot-for-short, for Friday the 13th Part 2.  It can be viewed on Tubi.

Happy Father’s Day

This s going to be a bittersweet Father’s Day for me and my sisters.  Our Dad passed away last August.  Indeed, one of the reasons why I’m going on vacation next week is so I can get away from the sad memories for a bit.  If I had to think of any film that captured my Dad’s independent spirit, I’d probably go with Convoy (1978).  When I was growing up, my Dad sometimes worked as an independent trucker.  He liked this movie and he liked Rubber Duck and you know what?  Rubber Duck would have liked him as well.  Convy was notorious for the cost overruns and the amount of drugs done on set but I’ll tell you right now — if you don’t cheer when Kris Kristofferson, Burt Young, and other truckers defy the law, you have no heart.  Convoy can be viewed on Tubi.

My Dad was also a Godzilla fan, which is one reason why I’m a Godzilla fan!  I can still remember being little and watching Godzilla films with him.  They used to air every Saturday afternoon.  One of our favorites was Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), in which Godzilla teams up with the giant robot, Jet Jaguar.  I know that Godzilla purists tend to be dismissive of this film but I don’t care.  I loved it!  It can be viewed on Max.

I guess it says something about my job here that I can get sentimental about a violent and bloody film like 10 to Midnight (1983) but I have to admit that I’m always touched by the father-daughter relationship of Leo (Charles Bronson) and Laurie Kessler (Lisa Eilbacher).  It reminds me a lot of my relationship with my Dad.  Of course, those of you just looking for a good Cannon-era Bronson flick won’t be disappointed either.  Gene Davis turns Warren Stacy into a truly loathsome villain and Bronson’s final line is a classic.  Plus, this film has got Andrew Stevens in the role of the liberal rookie detective who no one can believe is a cop.  The film can be viewed on Tubi.

Happy Odds and Ends

If you want to watch a Bava film that’s a little less gory than Bay of Blood, Planet of the Vampires (1965) is an atmospheric delight.  Just as Bay of Blood inspired Friday the 13th, Planet of the Vampires inspired Alien.  Keep an eye out for Ivan Rassimov, who had the best head of hair in Italian horror.  The film is on Pluto.

Jim Belushi celebrated a birthday this week and you can celebrate as well by watching one of my favorite guilty pleasures, The Principal (1987).  This film is heartfelt, violent, occasionally funny, thoroughly ludicrous, and actually kind of touching in its determination to actually say something.  Jim Belushi vs Michael Wright is one of the ages.  Lou Gossett, Jr. appears to be amused by the whole thing.  “He’s the Principal, man!”  The film is on Tubi.

Have a great week!

(Check out last week’s films here!)

The Hollywood Knights (1980, directed by Floyd Mutrux)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Halloween Night, 1965.  While the high school holds a pep rally and the Beverly Hills Homeowners Association debate the best way to tackle the problem of juvenile delinquency, the Hollywood Knights hang out at Tubby’s Drive-In, their favorite burger joint.  The Hollywood Knights are a car club and a group of fun-loving rebels, determined to have a good time and to always humiliate Officers Clark (Sandy Helberg) and Bimbeau (Gailard Sartain).  In practice, this amounts to a lot of jokes about flatulence and Newcomb Turk (Robert Wuhl) mooning the cops every chance the he gets.  I’m hoping a stunt butt was used for the mooning shots.  If I had known watching Hollywood Knights would mean seeing Robert Wuhl’s bare ass a dozen times over 91 minutes, I wouldn’t have started the movie.

The humor is crude but the movie has a serious side, one that was cribbed from American Graffiti.  Duke (Tony Danza), a senior member of the club, is upset that his girlfriend (Michelle Pfeiffer, in her film debut) is working as a car hop.  He’s also sad that his buddy, Jimmy Shine (Gary Graham), is leaving in the morning for the Army.  Jimmy’s not worried about being sent to Vietnam because Americans are only being sent over there as advisors.  Hollywood Knights doesn’t end with a Graffiti-style epilogue but if it did, Jimmy would be the one who never came home.  The serious scenes work better than the comedy, due to the performances of Gary Graham, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Tony Danza.  I can’t believe I just said that either.  Danza, though he’s way too old to be playing a high school student, is actually really good in this movie.  Pfeiffer doesn’t get to do much but, from her first scene, it’s easy to see why she became a star.  The camera loves her and she brings her character to life, despite not having much screen time.

Unfortunately, the drama takes a back seat to a lot of repetitive humor.  The problem isn’t that the humor is crude.  One thing that has always been true is that, regardless of the year, teenage boy humor is the crudest humor imaginable.  Even back in prehistorical times, teenage boys were probably drawing dirty pictures on the walls of their caves.  The problem is that the humor is boring and Robert Wuhl is even more miscast as a high school student as Tony Danza was.  Fran Drescher plays a high school student with whom Turk tries to hook up.  Drescher, like Pfeiffer, comes across as being a future star in the making.  Robert Wuhl comes across as being the future creator of Arli$$.

The Hollywood Knights has a bittersweet ending, the type that says, “It’ll never be 1965 again.”  This movie made me happy that it will never be 1965 again.  1965 should have sued The Hollywood Knights for slander.  Hollywood Knights tried to mix the nostalgia of American Graffiti with the raunchiness of Animal House but it didn’t have the heart or creativity of either film.  At least some of the member of the cast went onto better things.