A Movie A Day #303: The Evil That Men Do (1984, directed by J. Lee Thompson)

Posted on November 7, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Clement Molloch (Joseph Maher) is a doctor who uses his medical training to torture journalists and dissidents in an unnamed South American country. Holland (Charles Bronson) is a former CIA assassin, who is content with being retired. But when Molloch kills a journalist who was also an old friend of Holland’s, it all becomes about revenge. No one’s more dangerous than Charles Bronson seeking revenge. Working with the dead journalist’s widow (Theresa Saldana), Holland heads down to South America. Since Molloch is always surrounded by bodyguards, it is not going to be easy to get him. But who can stop Charles Bronson?

Bronson was 62 years old when he made The Evil The Men Do and he was still the toughest, coolest killer in the movies. The Evil That Men Do is a rarity, an 80s Bronson film that was not produced by Cannon. It still feels like a Cannon production, even if it is a little more interesting than some of the other films that Bronson was making at that time. Dr. Molloch was clearly based on the notorious Nazi Klaus Barbie and Joseph Maher plays Molloch as being a dignified sadist. Molloch also has a strange relationship with his equally cruel sister (Antoinette Bower). That Molloch is so extremely evil makes the film’s final scenes all the more satisfying.

The Evil That Men Do is one of the best of Bronson’s later films. Charles Bronson, man. No one got revenge better than Bronson.

A Movie A Day #302: Love and Bullets (1979, directed by Stuart Rosenberg)

Posted on November 6, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Joe Bomposa (Rod Steiger) may wear oversized glasses, speak with a stutter, and spend his time watching old romantic movies but don’t mistake him for being one of the good guys. Bomposa is a ruthless mobster who has destroyed communities by pumping them full of drugs. Charlie Congers (Charles Bronson) is a tough cop who is determined to take Bomposa down. When the FBI learns that Bomposa has sent his girlfriend, Jackie Pruit (Jill Ireland), to Switzerland, they assume that Jackie must have information that Bomposa doesn’t want them to discover. They send Congers over to Europe to bring her back. Congers discovers that Jackie does not have any useful information but Bomposa decides that he wants her dead anyway.

Love and Bullets is an uneasy mix of action and comedy, with Bronson supplying the former and Ireland trying to help out with the latter. Not surprisingly, the action works better than the comedy. Because Charlie is an American in Switzerland, he is not allowed to carry a gun and he is forced to resort to some creative ways to take out Bomposa’s assassins. Unfortunately, the scenes where Charlie and Jackie fall in love are less interesting, despite Bronson and Ireland being a real-life couple. Ireland occasionally did good work when she was cast opposite of Bronson but here, she’s insufferable as a ditzy gangster moll with a strange accent. While everyone else is trying to make an action movie, she’s trying too hard to be Judy Holliday. Steiger’s peformance starts out as interesting but soon devolves into the usual bellowing and tics.

Love and Bullets does have a good supporting cast, though. Bradford Dillman, Michael V. Gazzo, Val Avery, Albert Salmi, and Strother Martin all pop up. The two main hit men are played by Paul Koslo and Henry Silva. Silva’s almost as dangerous here as he was in Sharky’s Machine.

A Movie a Day #301: Keaton’s Cop (1990, directed by Bob Burge)

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Mike Gable (Lee Majors) is the angriest cop in Galveston, famous for tossing people out of windows. Jake (Don Rickles!) is Gable’s partner, who seems to be too old to still be on the force. Gable’s best friend is Keaton (Abe Vigoda), a retired mobster who now lives in a nursery home. When it becomes apparent that someone has put a hit out on Keaton, Gable and Jake are sent to investigate. A shoot out at the nursery home leads to Jake’s death. Another shoot out at a hotel leads to the death of several other cops. Gable can either toss Keaton out a window or he can team up with him to solve the murders. Imagine 48 Hours with Lee Majors replacing Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy stepping aside for Abe Vigoda.

In the style of both 48 Hours and Midnight Run, Keaton’s Cop tries to combine comedy with action but the comedy is too lame to be funny and the action is too brutal to be light-hearted. For some reason, Don Rickles plays his role completely straight while Abe Vigoda mostly just looks happy to have the chance to play a leading role for once. Lee Majors is believable as an angry cop, mostly because he appears to be pissed off about having to appear in Keaton’s Cop. It can’t be easy to go from being the Six Million Dollar Man to a movie like this.

What would have improved Keaton’s Cop? How about an appearance from the stars of Shattered If Your Kid’s On Drugs:

Right, Burt?

Cleaning Out The DVR: Consenting Adults (dir by Alan J. Pakula)

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR! It’s going to take a while because Lisa has over 200 things recorded. However, one thing is for sure: it’s all getting erased on January 15th. Will Lisa be able to watch everything before doomsday? Keep checking here to find out! She recorded the 1992 thriller, Consenting Adults, off of Cinemax on February 22nd!)

Consenting Adults is a rather silly film from 1992, one which starts out as a typical sex-and-sin-in-suburbia type of film and then turns into something else. It was directed by the distinguished director, Alan J. Pakula and the cast features people who have been nominated for (and, in some cases, won) multiple Oscars, Tonys, and Emmys. It also features the daughter of somewhat overrated playwright, Arthur Miller.

“Wow!,” you’re saying, “who exactly is in this film?”

Well, there’s Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. They play a seemingly happy married couple. They have a nice house in the suburbs. Kevin Kline has a good job as a composer. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio has really pretty hair. It should be a perfect life but they’re both secretly bored with their safe marriage.

And then there’s Rebecca Miller. She’s the wife of the new neighbor. She does thing like sing and bathe in front of an open window, allowing Kline to peek in at her. She’s also apparently murdered about halfway through the film. As the result of a wife-swapping scheme that was suggested by his neighbor, Kevin Kline’s semen is found in her body. Kline goes to jail for murder. His wife divorces him and marries the neighbor. Hmmm….does it sound like maybe someone set Kline up?

That’s what Forest Whitaker thinks! Whitaker plays an insurance agent who is investigating Kline’s neighbor. It seems that the neighbor has made most of his money through insurance fraud. Whitaker looks incredibly young in Consenting Adults. He’s probably the most likable person in the film. He seems to be amused by it all.

“Hey,” you’re saying, “you keep mentioning this neighbor but you have yet to tell us who played him. You just keep saying, ‘the neighbor,’ which seems kinda awkward…”

I’m getting to the neighbor! The neighbor is the evil genius behind all of Kevin Kline’s misfortune. He’s a totally and thoroughly evil suburbanite and, even when he’s pretending to be a good guy, he doesn’t make much of an effort to hide the fact that he’s not to be trusted. In fact, you could argue that Kline and Mastrantonio both had to be complete idiots to trust this guy in the first place. That’s kind of one of the problems with this movie. Not only is the neighbor’s scheme ludicrously complicated but, in order for it to work, he had to find two of the stupidest people ever…

“We get it, Lisa,” you’re saying, “Just tell us who plays this super villain neighbor!”

Uhmmm… *whispers* Kevin Spacey.

When I saw Consenting Adults on my DVR and I also saw that it starred Kevin Spacey, I figured that I would watch it as a test. After everything that’s come out about Kevin Spacey, is it still possible to watch him in a movie and forget about the fact that you’re watching Kevin Spacey? Or does Spacey’s very presence now make it impossible to watch any of his previous films? In the grand scheme of things, of course, that should be the least of our concerns when it comes to Kevin Spacey but still, regardless of who he may be as a human being, he has appeared in some very good movies.

Of course, I quickly learned that Consenting Adults is not one of those very good movies. That was obvious from the very first scene, which featured Kevin Kline looking like a madman while composing some of the most maudlin and less interesting music that I’ve ever heard. In fact, Consenting Adults turned out to one the silliest movies that I’ve ever seen.

As for Kevin Spacey, he is cast as a cold-hearted narcissist who hides his true self underneath a charming and witty facade. I think a lot of people would watch this film and assume that Spacey is basically playing himself. (I have to admit that was pretty much my reaction, despite the fact that I usually try to separate the art from the artist.) Since Spacey’s playing a loathsome villain, his presence doesn’t make Consenting Adults any more or any less difficult to sit through. If anything, you really can’t wait to see him get his comeuppance.

(So, I guess the real Spacey test will be whether or not I can still watch L.A. Confidential and Baby Driver.)

Anyway, Consenting Adults is occasionally entertaining in an over-the-top, WTF is going on sort of way. Spacey’s scheme is just so out there and makes so little sense that you can’t help but be impressed that everyone making the film kept a straight face. Otherwise, this is a truly forgettable movie.

Cleaning Out the DVR: The Wrong Crush (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The mistakes of the past. Can we overcome them? Can we forgive ourselves? Can we convince others to forgive us? Can we ever recover or are we destined to be forever punished?

These are some of the questions asked in The Wrong Crush. Veteran Lifetime viewers will, of course, immediately recognize that this is one of the many “wrong” films that David DeCoteau has directed for Lifetime. There’s also The Wrong Roommate, The Wrong Student, and The Wrong Child. Myself, I always look forward to the latest “Wrong” film because they’re usually enjoyably (and intentionally) melodramatic and, as a director, DeCoteau always seems to have a sense of humor about going through all the of the required Lifetime “beats.” At times, the characters in these films almost seem to be aware that they’re appearing in a Lifetime film. Also, DeCoteau always seems to film in the nicest houses in Canada. One of the fun things about watching a Lifetime film is getting to see where everyone lives and the Wrong films always seem to take place in the right homes.

Anyway, in this one, Victoria Konefal plays Amelia. A few years ago, Amelia did nothing but party and drink. But then, after a car crash claimed the life of her best friend, Amelia straightened out her life. Though she’s still on probation and her own mother (Lesli Kay) doesn’t seem to want to have much to do with her, Amelia is doing her best not to fall back into her old ways. She doesn’t drink. She goes to therapy, even though she rarely agrees with what her therapist has to say. She’s channeled her anger into running and now, she’s the star of her high school’s track team. It even appears that she might set a few records before the year is over.

She’s even got a boyfriend. Well, kinda. Scott (Pedro Correa) is nice and super supportive but he only moved to town a year ago so he doesn’t know all of the details about Amelia’s former life. He’s heard rumors but he doesn’t know that she’s on probation or that some people still blame her for the death of her friend. Whenever he starts to get too close, Amelia pushes him away.

Plus, there’s a new guy at school! Jake (Ricardo Hoyos) is handsome, charming, and polite. And, like Amelia, he’s got some secrets in his past. He was kicked out of military school, for one thing. Soon, Jake and Amelia are growing close. Scott may not like it but Scott should be more concerned with the drugs that Jake’s hidden in his locker. See, Jake has an agenda of his own. He also has a really big knife that he’s not afraid to use…

For the most part, The Wrong Crush is an enjoyable Lifetime melodrama but Amelia’s strained relationship with her mother and her struggle to forgive herself serve to give this film a little more emotional resonance than the other Wrong films. Victoria Konefal and Lesli Kay both gave good performances and Ricardo Hoyos really threw himself into the role of Jake. Those who know Hoyos best for playing sweet-but-stupid Zig on Degrassi will be in for a surprise when they watch The Wrong Crush.

Lifetime Film Review: The Lost Wife of Robert Durst (dir by Yves Simoneau)

Posted on November 4, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s Lifetime premiere was The Lost Wife of Robert Durst, the latest of many films to deal with the 1982 disappearance of Kathie Durst and the subsequent activities of her husband, millionaire weirdo Robert Durst.

The disappearance of Kathie Durst is an intriguing cold case. Robert Durst was a member of one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in New York. Many have speculated that may be why Durst was never charged with anything, despite the fact that everyone was convinced that he was responsible for her disappearance. (Others have pointed out that most of the evidence against Durst was circumstantial and that Kathie’s body has never been found.) Durst, himself, appears to have spent the last few decades as something of a millionaire hobo. His best friend, Susan Berman, was murdered in 2000. (Berman provided Durst with an alibi for the night of Kathie’s disappearance.) Durst himself eventually turned up in Galveston, where he attempted to disguise himself as a woman and was eventually arrested for murdering his neighbor, Morris Black. Durst was acquitted in that case. All Good Things, a feature film starring Ryan Gosling and Kirsten Dunst, led to resurgence of interest in the case of Kathie’s disappearance. It also led to a HBO documentary series, called The Jinx. In an act that was either extremely cocky or extremely self-destructive, Durst agreed to be interviewed for the documentary, implicated himself in all three of the murders that he was suspected of committing, and was subsequently charged with murdering Susan Berman.

It’s one of those stories that, when you hear the details, you can hardly believe is true. It has everything: love, greed, sex, jealousy, politics, the mafia, and several unsolved murders. It’s not surprising that there’s been several movies and TV shows based on the Durst case. The problem that every new film faces is what can it add to the story that we haven’t already seen. The Lost Wife of Robert Durst is relatively well-made but there’s really nothing here that you couldn’t find in All Good Things or The Jinx. This is like the Wikipedia version of Durst case. It gives you all the details without going into too much depth about any of it.

Of course, one of the main questions about this case is whether Robert Durst is mentally ill or if he’s just extremely clever. Those that claim that Durst is crazy tend to point out that he saw his mother commit suicide when he was a young boy, that he has a habit of muttering to himself, and that he lives like a hermit despite all of his money. Those who claim that Durst is actually very clever and in total control of all of his actions point out that all of Durst’s alleged crimes required extensive planning and that, in The Jinx, he was caught saying, “What the Hell did I do? Killed them all, of course.” That would seem to indicate that Durst is fully aware of whatever he may have done. The question of Durst’s sanity is not a minor one. In some states, it would be the difference between life in prison and execution.

The Lost Wife of Robert Durst attempts to have it both ways. As played by Daniel Gillies, Durst is obviously unstable yet clearly calculating at the same time. In fact, I would argue that, from a purely dramatic point of view, Gillies plays Durst as being a little too obviously unstable. You find yourself wondering why Kathie (played by Katharine McPhee) would have ever agreed to go out with him in the first place, much less marry him. As played by McPhee, Kathie is almost as hard to read as Durst. Even in the scenes depicting the early days of Durst marriage, the lack of chemistry between Gillies and McPhee is a problem. I spent most of the film wishing that it would dig a little bit deeper into the case. Then again, considering that Durst has yet to be convicted on any charges, I suppose there’s only so much that the movie could suggest. (All Good Things changed everyone’s names, which gave it at least a little bit of freedom to speculate.)

That said, the Robert Durst story is such a strange one that, flaws and all, The Lost Wife of Robert Durst is watchable. It’s a good enough introduction to the case, if you’re looking for one. Ultimately, though, All Good Things remains the Durst film to watch.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Killer Mom (dir by Christine Conradt)

Posted on November 4, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Poor Jessica (played by Karen Cliche)!

Nothing’s going right for her. First off, her husband has been arrested and charged with one of those financial crimes that rich men always seem to be committing in Lifetime movies. She’s had to move in with her best friend, which is good because her friend keeps her supplied with wine and sympathy but bad because her friend’s house is not quite as nice as the house that she used to live in. When she does go out of town, she’s so broke that she can’t even afford to stay in a nice hotel. She has to rip open her blouse and threaten to accuse the manager of raping her just to get a good room!

However, there is a light on the horizon. 14 years earlier, as the result of an affair with a married man, Jessica had a daughter named Allison. Jessica gave Allison up and Allison was raised by her father and his wife. The wife died a few years previously and, just a few days ago, the father was killed in a plane crash! That means that the now 14 year-old Allison (Maddy Martin) stands to inherit millions!

After showing up at the funeral and introducing herself, Jessica starts to work her way into Allison’s life. Allison’s half-sister, Sydni (Kirby Bliss Blanton) automatically suspects that Jessica is only interested in the money. For that matter, so does just about everyone else in the world. No one trusts Jessica but Allison. And Allison is so happy to finally be reunited with her biological mother that no one has the courage to tell her about their suspicions.

That doesn’t stop people from trying to investigate Jessica’s past, however. Of course, that’s always a mistake in a Lifetime movie. Trying to investigate anything is usually a good way to end up either getting framed or murdered. For instance, Aaron Martin (Brad Long) makes it clear that he doesn’t trust Jessica and suddenly, his computer is full of child porn! Is Aaron a perv or did Jessica use her magic internet powers to hack his computer? (Take a guess.) The housekeeper doesn’t trust Jessica and suddenly, her mother is attacked by an intruder. Sydni thinks that Jessica is plotting something and … oh my God! Suddenly, there are drugs in her car!

As I’ve said before, the more batshit crazy a Lifetime film is, the more likely it’s going to be a success. Killer Mom is totally and completely over the top, full of nonstop plotting, snarky commentary, and — most importantly — really beautiful houses. Nobody lives in a messy house in a Lifetime film! Karen Cliche totally embraces the role of femme fatale, giving a performance that suggests that Jessica is almost as amused by her schemes as we are. All in all, Killer Mom is good melodramatic fun.

A Movie A Day #300: Death Before Dishonor (1987, directed by Terry Leonard)

Posted on November 4, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

In a fictional Middle Eastern country, tough-as-nails Col. Halloran (Brian Keith) has been kidnapped by terrorists. The leader of the terrorists is named Jihad and he is played by the No Mercy Man himself, Rockne Tarkington. The American ambassador (Paul Winfield) is a weak-willed Carter appointee who says, “We have to go through proper channels.” Gunnery Sgt. Burns (Fred Dryer) ain’t got no time for the proper channels. All of his men have been killed. His mentor has been kidnapped and is being tortured with a power drill. Even if it means breaking all the rules, Sgt. Burns is going to rescue Halloran, defeat Jihad, and kill anyone who has ever chanted “Death to the U.S.A.”

Totally a product of the 80s and about as politically incorrect as they come, Death Before Dishoner was an attempt to turn former football player-turned-TV star Fred Dryer into a movie star. It did not work, though Fred does his best Clint Eastwood impersonation, chugging beer and speaking exclusively in tough one-liners. Death Before Dishonor is dumb but entertaining. (It may have been made for New World Pictures but it’s a Cannon Film at heart.) The movie’s highlight if Fred Dryer chasing the bad guys in a jeep, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while using the other hand to fire a bazooka. A close second is Brian Keith barely flinching while taking a power drill to the back of the hand. No one’s tougher than an 80s action hero!

Cleaning Out the DVR Pt 15: Halloween Leftovers 2

Posted on November 4, 2017 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

Halloween (and ‘Halloween Havoc!’) may have come and gone, but for horror fans every day’s Trick or Treat! Here are 5 fright films scraped from the bottom of this year’s candy bag:

THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN (United Artists 1956; D: Edward Nassour and Ismael Rodriguez) – This US/Mexican coproduction stars Guy Madison (TV’s WILD BILL HICKOCK) and Patricia Medina (PHANTOM OF THE RUE MORGUE) up against a giant prehistoric Allosaurus in the Old West. The movie starts as just another standard Western until the three-quarter mark, when the beast finally makes his appearance. Jack Rabin’s cartoonish special effects can’t hold a candle to the great Willis O’Brien , who’s given credit for the film’s story idea (later remade as the much better VALLEY OF GWANGI ). Good as Saturday matinée kiddie fare, nothing more. Fun Fact: Patricia Medina was the wife of actor Joseph Cotten, who made quite a…

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Film Review: Flint (dir by Bruce Beresford)

Posted on November 4, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Undoubtedly, there’s a great and important film waiting to be made about the Flint water crisis. Unfortunately, the new Lifetime film Flint is not it.

As I watched Flint last night, it occurred to me that it’s been a while since the Flint water crisis made the national news. For a few weeks in 2016, it was all anyone was talking about but then the governor of Michigan announced that he wouldn’t be running for President and the media promptly deserted Flint. I think most people in the country assumed that Flint now magically had clean water. In reality, Flint hasn’t had reliably clean water since 2014. Earlier this year, it was announced that Flint’s water quality has returned to acceptable levels but residents were still advised not to use it until all of Flint’s water pipes had been replaced. When one looks at the coverage that the crisis has received, one gets the feeling that the media stopped caring once it became apparent there wasn’t going to be an easy and quick solution.

That’s the thing with this crisis. There is no easy way to resolve it and it’s not a happy story. Even when all of the pipes are finally replaced (which will be 2020 at the earliest), it’s not going to be a happy ending as much as it’s just going to be an ending. The citizens of a city were poisoned because a bunch of civil servants wanted to save money. There’s no way to spin that into a positive. Even if the people of Flint are no longer drinking contaminated water, that doesn’t change the fact that they once did and no one in power seemed to care until they had no choice but to pretend to be outraged.

Flint is a well-meaning film but it’s immediately handicapped by the fact that it’s a Lifetime film and, therefore, has to take a Lifetime approach to the material. which means that things have to end positively. The film does a good job of showing brown water running out of taps and detailing why clean water is a necessity. And the film also deserves some credit for including a note informing us that the pipes in Flint are still in the process of being replaced and that the citizens are still being told either use filters or bottled water. But, too often, the film turns what should have been a modern-day horror story into a simplistic story of “you go girl!” activism. When the film should be angry, it’s merely annoyed. When the film should be furious about the present, it’s too busy being optimistic about the future. Instead of really exploring what led to the crisis in the first place, the focus of the film is on city council meetings and the cartoonishly slick mayor getting voted out of office. “Yay!” the movie seems to proclaim, “Sucks about the poisoned water but at least everyone got to bond and now we have proof that democracy works and the government really does care!”

(There’s even two scenes where a city councilman tells the activists to keep fighting, the movie’s way of saying, “See! Not all politicians are bad!”)

Oh well. I don’t want to be too critical because, while the movie may have been strictly by-the-numbers, it at least tried to remind people about what’s going on in Flint. That’s certainly more than the national media’s doing these days.