Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, the ocean is full money!

Episode 1.6 “The Sky Is Falling”

(Dir by Kim Manners, originally aired on October 27th, 1989)

Baywatch was a show that was often known for being unintentionally funny.

Of course, it’s open for debate just how self-aware Baywatch may or may not have been.  Some of the show’s writers and directors have claimed that the show was meant to be campy.  At the same time, there are cast members who specifically left because they felt that there was no way to play some of the scenes they were expected to perform.  Professional surfer Kelly Ward left the cast after he read a script that involved him fighting an octopus that tried to steal his surf board.  Jason Momoa has said that appearing on Baywatch Hawaii early in his career made it difficult for him to convince other casting directors to give him a chance.  That said, David Hasselhoff reportedly continues to swear that Baywatch was a sincere tribute to lifeguards and that it was responsible for people learning how to perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver.  Once you’ve watched Hasselhoff tear up while talking about a girl who saved her little brother using a technique she saw on Baywatch, you’re left with little doubt that Hasselhoff took the show very seriously.

That said, I do think most of the humor on Baywatch was unintentional.  That’s especially true of the first season, which was about as earnest as a network television show can be.  With this week’s episode, Baywatch tried to be intentionally funny and the results were definitely mixed.

The humor came from Harv (James Sloyan) and Sylvia (Carol Siskind), two frumpy bank robbers who crashed their private plane in the ocean and subsequently lost a suitcase containing thousands of dollars.  Throughout the episode, there are shots of the suitcase floating in the ocean.  Finally, a boat collides with it and money goes flying everywhere.  Soon, everyone is running into the water and getting trapped in a riptide.  Lifeguards to the rescue!  As for Harv and Sylvia, they were meant to be funny but instead, their constant bickering just got annoying.  Watching them, I thought to myself, “If these two idiots can rob a bank, anyone can do it!”  That’s not a Hasselhoff-approved message.

Slightly more successful was a storyline about Captain Thorpe (Monte Markham) deciding that he needed to get back on the beach.  For Thorpe, this meant working a tower with Eddie and Shauni.  For Eddie and Shauni, that meant having to spend hour after hour listening to Thorpe’s long-winded stories.  Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak actually did a pretty good job portraying the mind-numbing boredom of being stuck with Captain Thorpe.

As for the serious storyline, Gail has accepted a job in Ohio and wants to move there …. with Hobie!  However, when Mitch helps Gail pack, they both get sentimental and end up sleeping together, leading Hobie to believe that his parents are going to get back together.  Hey, divorced parents — DO NOT DO THIS!  Seriously, divorce is hard enough on a child without giving them false hope.  In the end, Gail decides to let Hobie stay in California after Hobie uses his junior lifeguard training to save the life of a drowned girl.  Hobie’s a hero and his big reward is that he doesn’t have to go to Ohio.  I’m going to say “Ouch!” on behalf of the Buckeye State.

In the end, this episode was pretty uneven.  The thieves weren’t ever a credible threat but I did laugh at everyone running into the ocean to try to grab the stolen money.  The important thing is that the show didn’t have to relocate to Ohio.