Zombi 2 (1979, dir. Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)
For today’s song of the day, we celebrate the birthday of Lucio Fulci with Fabio Frizzi’s main theme from 1979’s Zombi 2. If you’ve ever seen the film, it’s impossible to hear this piece of music without imagining hundreds of zombies walking across the Brooklyn Bridge.
Today’s scene that I love comes from Lucio Fulci’s 1981 masterpiece, The Beyond.
Liza (Catriona MacColl) meets the mysterious Emily (Cinzia Monreale) on one of Louisiana’s famous bridges to nowhere. This scene is Fulci at his most dream-like.
4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
98 years ago today, Lucio Fulci — the maestro of Italian genre filmmaking — was born in Rome. Fulci would go on to direct some of the most visually stunning (and, occasionally, most narratively incoherent) films ever made. Fulci worked in all genres but he’ll probably always be best remembered for launching the Italian zombie boom with Zombi 2. His subsequent Beyond trilogy continues to fascinate and delight lovers of both horror and grindhouse filmmaking.
Lucio Fulci, needless to say, is a pretty popular figure here at the TSL. In honor of the date of his birth, it’s time for….
6 Shots From 6 Lucio Fulci Films
A Lizard In A Woman’s Skin (1971, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Luigi Kuveiller)
Don’t Torture A Duckling (1972, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio D’Offizi)
Zombi 2 (1979, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)
The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)
The House By The Cemetery (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)
Murder Rock (1984, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Giuseppe Pinori)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, someone is performing emergency surgery on the street!
Episode 3.23 “Nightengale”
(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 23rd, 1980)
Something strange is happening in Los Angeles. Every time there’s a serious accident, a middle-aged woman (Louise Latham) appears and provides medical help to the injured. At the start of the episode, she even performs an emergency tracheotomy on the side of the freeway. Whenever the highway patrol officer on the scene asks her for her name, she avoids the question. And, whenever an ambulance shows up, she always manages to slip away. As Jon and Ponch discover, the woman is named Lucy Kenton and, even though she’s a medical expert, she’s not a doctor. With the help of the always-understanding Sgt. Getraer, Jon and Ponch help her to get her medical license so that she can legally perform surgery on the street. Good for them!
This was a bit of an odd episode. It seemed strange that the woman somehow always seemed to be around whenever there was an accident. A car would crash and suddenly, Lucy would come running up, almost as if she had been patiently waiting. The show acted as if it was just a coincidence but what are the chances that the same woman would be present at the sites of multiple accidents over the course of just a few days? And what are the chances that Ponch would just happen to be the responding officer at two of those accidents?
To be honest, that’s one of the things that always struck me as being strange about CHiPs. Somehow, the same people keep running into Ponch and Jon over and over again. I mean, Los Angeles is a big city and it’s home to a lot of people. But if you run into Ponch and Jon once, it seems you’re destined to keep seeing them for at least a week. Once they get that first speeding ticket or stern warning, people literally can’t step outside of their house without Ponch and Jon just happening to be somewhere nearby. That’s the sort of thing that would make me paranoid.
The B-plot of this episode featured a teenage couple whose van kept breaking down whenever they tried to run away from home. There wasn’t much to this story but it did feature “special guest star” Dana Plato as the younger sister of the female half of the couple. Plato delivered all her lines as if she was auditioning for a school play. Oddly enough, Dana Plato appeared at the start of this season as herself. She was one of the many celebrities to show up for the roller disco episode.
There really wasn’t much to this episode. It wasn’t terrible but it did feel somewhat insubstantial. We’re coming up on the end of the season and, from the last few episodes, I get the feeling the show’s writers just wanted to wrap things up and start their vacations. I don’t blame them!
Next week, the third season concludes!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, it’s the most infamous episode of Miami Vice ever!
Episode 4.7 “Missing Hours”
(Dir by Ate De Jong, originally aired on November 13th, 1987)
This is an episode that I had been waiting for years to see. From the moment I decided to review Miami Vice, I started to read about and hear about this seventh episode of the four season. This was the episode was supposedly so bad that many people consider it to be the point that Miami Vice “jumped the shark.” This is the episode were James Brown plays a white-suited singer named Lou de Long, who has going from performing songs to giving lectures about UFOs. (James Brown is essentially playing himself, right down to the presence of I Feel Good on the soundtrack.) This is the episode where Trudy disappears for 12 hours and then returns with no firm memories of where she was. This is the episode where even Crockett and Tubbs see a UFO. Even though his appearance here does not receive as much attention as much a James Brown’s, Chris Rock made his television debut as a nerdy technician named Carson who was into UFOs. Carson mentions getting his information for “computer bulleting boards” and everyone looks at him as if he’s speaking Esperanto.
This is the episode that is frequently cited as being the worst in Miami Vice history and really, who am I to disagree?
It pains me to say that. I really wanted to like this episode, just because it is so strange and and I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian at heart but …. no, this episode really doesn’t work. The sad truth of the matter is that, for all of his other talents, James Brown was a lousy actor and, with the exception of Michael Talbott and Philip Michael Thomas (who both appear to be having fun), the regular cast gives performance that suggest they all knew this episode was a bad idea. Miami Vice was at its best when it was a cynical and downbeat show about the futility of the war on drugs. There’s really no reason for Miami Vice to ever do a science fiction-themed episode. Somehow, this is the second such episode to air during the fourth season.
Of course, the episode’s most unforgivable sin is that it ends with Trudy waking up in bed. Not only is that ending a cop out but it’s also pretty rude to anyone who was actually trying to follow the plot or who was actually worried about whether or not Trudy had been brainwashed by the aliens. Perhaps if this had been a Halloween episode, all of this could have been excused but apparently, this episode aired in the middle of November.
Poor Trudy. Seriously, Olivia Brown didn’t really get many episode built around her character. It’s a shame that, when they gave her one, it was this one. Next week on Miami Vice, who knows? I’m on vacation. We’ll see what happens!
John Robinson has been described as being the Internet’s first serial killer.
I don’t know if that’s an accurate description but it is true that Robinson, who most of his neighbors and family knew as just being a somewhat eccentric businessman who always seemed to be in trouble with the IRS, did make contact with several of his victims in online chatrooms. No one is quite sure how many women Robinson killed in the 80s and the 90s. Robinson himself has given contradictory numbers. What is know is that Robinson started out by luring women to his home by claiming that he had a job for them. Many of the women who accepted his job offer were either never seen again or their bodies were eventually found on his properties in Kansas and Missouri. Eventually, after serving time on fraud conviction, Robinson started to use internet chatrooms to find his victims. He used the screenname Slavemaster, something that would have undoubtedly stunned all of his neighbors.
In Kidnapped By A Killer, Steve Guttenberg plays John Robinson. Now, it should be noted that Guttenberg doesn’t get much screentime and he’s also nearly unrecognizable under a ton of old age makeup. Guttenberg plays Robinson as being a creepy old man who uses the fact that he walks with a cane to put people at ease. The film doesn’t spend much time with Robinson and it doesn’t show any of his murders. Instead, the focus is on the police who investigated Robinson and also on Heather Robinson, a young woman who was Robinson’s adoptive niece but who was also the daughter of one of Robinson’s victims. After killing her mother, Robinson “gave” Heather to his brother and sister-in-law, telling them that her mother had been a drug addict who abandoned her baby.
The majority of the film focuses on Heather (Rachel Stubington), who is a teenager when John is arrested for the murders that he committed. Heather struggles to come to terms with the knowledge that her uncle — who seemed kindly, if a bit corny — murdered her mother and that she was essentially kidnapped and given away. What seemed like an act of kindness — Uncle John not wanting a drug addict’s daughter to get lost in the system — was actually John Robinson’s attempt to cover up his crimes. Much like the criminal who starts a business to launder money, Heather’s adoption was John’s attempt to launder evidence. Stubington does a good job as Heather, capturing her struggle to come to terms with her identity. The scenes of her dealing with her feelings towards John and the scenes of hardened detectives recoiling in shock as they discover the remains of John’s victims all serve as a reminder that murder is not an isolated crime. It’s something that effects communities and families long after the act itself has been completed.
Kidnapped By A Killer deserves credit for focusing on a victim instead of on John Robinson, himself. Too often, when it comes to true crime movies, the victims are forgotten while the serial killer gets all the best lines and the big moments. Kidnapped By A Killer presents John Robinson as being a rather pathetic old man and that’s perhaps the best thing about it.
This film is taking itself way too seriously….
I had that thought 16 minutes into Emmanuelle. A remake of the wonderfully trashy 70s film that made a star (of sorts) out of Sylvia Kristel, this version of Emmanuelle takes itself way too seriously. It should be noted that no one is under the impression that the original Emmanuelle films or any of the unofficial spin-offs were high art. The first film may have pretended to be about something but, ultimately, it was a trashy sex romp that was made because some folks wanted to make a lot of money. That’s one reason why the original film and Kristel’s version of the character continue to be popular. Both were totally shameless and unapologetic.
The remake, though, is boring. Emmanuelle (played by Noemie Merlant) even has a boring job. She works in quality control for a large chain of luxury hotels. That’s right, quality control. This film reimagines Emmanuelle as being the female version of Creed from The Office Emmanuelle has been sent to Hong Kong so that she can evaluate a hotel that is being managed by Margot (Naomi Watts). The company has tasked Emmanuelle with finding an excuse to fire Margot and Emmanuelle is feeling conflicted about it. Let me tell you, there’s nothing sexier than quality control.
Emmanuelle has several sexual experiences while staying at the hotel. The sensuality of Hong Kong gets to her. While wearing a towel, she flirts with a nervous room steward. She touches herself in front of an escort who hangs out at the hotel’s pool and she gets upset when Margot sends the escort and her friends away. Emmanuelle wanders through the film with a blank expression on her face, staring at things that are often happening off-camera. Hong Kong is presented as being a world where everything is for sale and no desires are forbidden. If this was one of Joe D’Amato’s Black Emanuelle films, the decadence would probably be strange and entertaining. However, since this is an Emmanuelle film that takes itself seriously, it’s kind of boring.
In fact, this film really does get caught up in the whole “Will Emmanuelle get Margot fired?” plot. That is probably the least interesting part of the movie but the filmmakers really do want us to understand that Emmanuelle could lose her job if she doesn’t give Margot a bad report. But honestly, who cares? This film makes the mistake of assuming that “quality control” is a lot more exciting than it actually is.
Emmanuelle does fall in love over the course of the film. Kei (Will Sharpe) is an enigmatic guest who hasn’t had sex in “two or three years” because he lost his desire. He’s suffering from ennui! Emmanuelle yells at Kei for smoking in the hotel but she’s attracted to him as well. At least, that’s what the film wants us to believe. Merchant and Sharpe have so little chemistry — romantic or sexual — that it’s hard to really care. They have some philosophical discussions, the type of stuff that even Zalman King would have dismissed as being rather pretentious.
The main problem, as I said before, is that this film just isn’t fun. It gets bogged down with its plot and Merlant, Watts, and Sharpe all sleepwalk through their roles. This film should have been glorious trash. Instead, it’s just dull.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, we pay tribute to the legendary cinematographer, Vilmos Zsigmond. Born 90 years ago today in Hungary, Zsigmond got his start in the 60s with low-budget films like The Sadist but he went on to become one of the most in-demand cinematographers around. In fact, of all the people who started their career working on a film that starred Arch Hall, Jr., it’s hard to think of any who went on to have the type of success that Zsigmond did.
Zsigmond won one Oscar, for his work on Close Encounters of Third Kind. He was nominated for three more. He also received a BAFTA award for his work on The Deer Hunter and was nominated for an Emmy for his work on Stalin. He’s considered to be one of the most influential cinematographers of all time.
In honor of the legacy of Vilmos Zsigmond, here are….
4 Shots From 4 Films
Deliverance (1972, directed by John Boorman, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)
The Long Goodbye (1973, dir by Robert Altman, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977, dir by Steven Spielberg, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)
Heaven’s Gate (1980, directed by Michael Cimino, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi
In yourself, you must believe …. let’s return to Degrassi High.
Episode 2.6 “Crossed Wires”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on December 10th, 1990)
Alex is dating Tessa but he has yet to kiss her and Tessa’s getting tired of waiting for him. Arthur and Yick (remember them?) both tell Alex that he’s a total wimp. Myself, I’m just wondering how Alex somehow went from being a background character to suddenly getting storylines. For the record, Alex does eventually kiss Tessa and he leaves her breathless, which seems like a bit of an overreaction. I mean, it’s just Alex….
Of course, any Tessa storyline that doesn’t involve Joey is going to feel somewhat odd because true Degrassi fans know that Tessa is eventually going to end up pregnant after sleeping with Joey, leading to a jealous Snake dropping the first F-bomb ever heard on Canadian television. But, that was all far in the future. When this episode aired, Tessa was still just the girl who apparently only owned that one blue dress.
Alex and Tessa’s rather silly storyline is matched with one where Liz, after going on a date with Tim (Keith White, finally getting a storyline after spending so much time as a background character), freaks out after Tim attempts to kiss her goodnight after taking her to a Pogues concert. Liz eventually tells Spike that she was sexually abused by her mom’s ex-boyfriend and that’s why Liz doesn’t allow anyone to get close to her. (In many ways, this episode feels like a dry run for the Jane Says episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation.) This episode handles the subject with sensitivity, as Degrassi (to its credit) always did. Tonally, it can be a bit of shock to go from the silliness of Tessa’s story to the seriousness of Liz’s but that’s kind of the way it is when you’re a teenager. One minute, you’re in a sitcom. The next minute, you’re in the most depressing drama ever. That’s certainly the way it was for me when I was in high school. I preferred the sitcom moments but the fact that I can cry on cue came in useful whenever things started to get serious.
Finally, Dwayne’s moronic friends are upset because Dwayne will no longer let them beat up on Joey. Dwayne doesn’t care. Joey’s the only person that knows that Dwayne is HIV positive. Joey has kept his word and not revealed Dwayne’s secret. Dwayne helps Joey fix his car and Joey, in return, gives Dwayne a life home. Dwayne going from being a bully to a sensitive guy is another character arc that would become a Degrassi tradition.
Next week, Kathleen finds some marijuana. Oh no!
Greetings from Florida! Jeff and I started our vacation today. Tonight, I am writing to you from lovely Pensacola, Florida!
Here’s a quick look at what I watched this week:
Movies I Watched:
Television Shows I Watched:
Links From Last Week:
Through the Shattered Lens 