Hi everyone!  Lisa here!

Usually, whenever a holiday rolls around, the TSL’s mascot — Doc the Ennui Kitty — will post something wishing all of you a safe and happy holiday.  Some people have pointed out that not only are we one of the few sites to feature a cat as a contributor but also that most cats aren’t capable of writing complete sentences.  I’m not sure what they’re trying to imply.  Doc’s a very smart cat.

Anyway, for this holiday, I’m handling the honors because I actually do have something serious to talk about.  I love fireworks.  My entire family loves fireworks.  Up until I turned ten, I always used to enjoy summer trips through the Southwest, during which my father would pick up the latest in illegal fireworks.  It was fun and it taught me a very important lesson (as my father put it, “Nobody tells a Bowman what to do!  Nobody!”)  On July 3rd, the Mayor of Los Angeles attempted to illustrate the importance of firework safety by posting a video of a watermelon getting blown to bits by a firework that he claimed was the size of a stick of gum.  I watched that video at work and I literally yelled out, “That is so fucking awesome!!!!”

That said, if you’re planning on shooting off fireworks or firecrackers tonight, be smart.  Four years ago, some people who lived across the street from us decided to get drunk and shoot off fireworks in the middle of the street.  This was on a residential block and they came close to setting my neighbor’s front yard on fire.  Someone called the cops on them.  It wasn’t me because I don’t believe in snitching.  Me, I was just planning on slashing their tires after they all went to sleep.

Also, animals do not like fireworks.  Keep that in mind.  For a cat or a dog who has no idea that it’s Independence Day, fireworks are terrifying.  If you own pets, keep them inside.  If you’re driving home, keep an eye on the road for any of our furry friends who might, at that moment, be out of their mind with fear.

Also, keep your neighbors in mind.  One person’s fun can be another person’s trigger.  During Independence Day, we always talk about how much we love our veterans.  Prove it by considering what they’ve gone through before you set off those firecrackers at 3 in the morning.

I guess what I’m saying is the best way to celebrate the 4th is by not being a jerk.

Thank you and, from me, Doc, and everyone else here at the Shattered Lens: happy holidays!