Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.20 “Werewolf of Hollywood”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters satirizes the film business.  Well, it’s about time someone did!

Episode 3.20 “Werewolf of Hollywood”

(Dir by Thomas J. Whelan, originally aired on February 10th, 1991)

Screenwriter Buzz Hunkle (Richard Belzer) has been instructed to rewrite a script that was originally written by Leo Tandoski (Shelley Berman).  Leo’s script is about a studio head who is actually a werewolf.  Buzz and his assistant Vicki (Geraldine Leer) read the script and immediately deduce that Leo is attacking executive Billy Mariner (David Leary).  At first, Buzz just assumes that the werewolf angle is a bit of heavy-handed satire but, when Leo turns up dead, Buzz comes to suspect that Billy might actually be a werewolf!  Vicki gives Buzz a gun full of what she claims are silver bullets and she sends him off to investigate.  Of course, it turns out that everyone in this show business tale has a secret or two.

This episode …. well, I liked the idea behind it.  It had potential, I’ll give it that.  And the werewolf effects were certainly effective.  Monsters was a show that almost always featured effective makeup and costuming.  That said, I have to admit that I wanted to like this episode more than I actually did.  Whenever Monsters tries to be intentionally funny, it almost always comes across as if it’s trying too hard and that was certainly the case with this episode.  As an actor, Richard Belzer was always inconsistent.  He did good work as Detective Munch.  In this episode of Monsters, he sleepwalks through the role.  I really wanted this episode to work but it just feel flat for me.

Guess what?  We’ve only got four more episodes of Monsters left!  Overall, I have enjoyed reviewing this show, even if it has been a bit uneven overall.  I’ll miss it when I’m done.

Brad’s “Scene of the Day” – the opening of BLOOD AND BONE (2009)!


It’s been awhile since I first saw Michael Jai White in the low budget action film, BLOOD AND BONE. One thing I do remember from that initial viewing is how badass I found the opening scene! It’s definitely NSFW, but I’m glad to be able share it with you today. Enjoy!

Brad reviews BLOOD AND BONE (2009), starring Michael Jai White! 


Michael Jai White is Bone, an ex-convict who also happens to be a badass martial artist. After getting out of prison, Bone heads to Los Angeles and rents a room from Tamara (Nona Gaye), a foster mother to three kids. Once there, he hooks up with Pinball (Dante Basco) and enters the underground street-fighting scene, quickly gaining a reputation as the best fighter around. This catches the attention of the ruthless James (Eamonn Walker) who controls the local fighting action. Bone takes a special interest in James’ woman, the beautiful Angela (Michelle Belegrin). When Bone easily dispatches James’ best fighter Hammer (Bob Sapp), James invites him into his life because he wants him to take on Pretty Boy Price (Matt Mullins). Price is the prize fighter of the wealthy and powerful Franklin McVeigh (Julian Sands), and James sees Bone as his chance to beat Price and join the big time. But Bone is much more complicated than he initially seems, and he has an agenda that involves Angela and keeping a promise he made to an old friend. 

I’m a fan of B-movie star and martial artist Michael Jai White. I remember buying the DVD of BLOOD AND BONE a decade or more ago and thinking it was a good movie. I decided to revisit the film today and my opinion remains the same. It has a memorable opening scene where mixed martial artist Kimbo Slice and his crew confront White’s character Bone in the bathroom of an unnamed prison. Slice runs his mouth, and we soon learn that Bone is the biggest badass around. It’s a simple, awesome scene that proves to be a perfect introduction to our hero. From this point forward, BLOOD AND BONE seems to follow a similar storyline to my favorite Charles Bronson film HARD TIMES (1975). In HARD TIMES, Bronson is a badass fighter who rolls into town, hooks up with the fast talking James Coburn, dominates the local street fighting competition, and then heads back out of town. In BLOOD AND BONE, Michael Jai White rolls into town, hooks up with the fast talking Dante Basco, and dominates the local street fighting competition. However, in this film we find out that White is doing all of this to keep a jailhouse promise to a friend before heading out of town. I like White as an actor, martial artist, and charismatic screen presence, so I was all in as the action and the story played out. 

Aside from Michael Jai White’s basic badass character, I also like the relationship that develops between his Bone and Nona Gaye’s character, Tamara. She has a world weariness and bullshit detector, but she also realizes that his character has more depth than it may initially appear. They have some good moments sprinkled throughout the film that seem more grounded in reality than your typical B action movie relationships. Eamonn Walker is appropriately evil as the ruthless James, a man who has zero redeeming qualities. His character may not be set in the real world, but a movie like this needs someone to really dislike and Walker fits the bill. Dante Basco is fine as the fast-talking Pinball who helps break Bone into the underground fighting scene, but I didn’t find his character especially memorable. Julian Sands is prominently billed, but his part is quite small. He shows up at the beginning and the end, and delivers an outrageous monologue to Eamonn Walker about how he and his rich, white buddies are entertained by African Americans, but they don’t really want to hang out with them. It’s a pretty uncomfortable scene to be honest with you even though it’s being delivered to a completely despicable character. 

Overall, I like BLOOD AND BONE as a badass action and martial arts film with some heart. It’s not always easy to watch as it’s pretty violent, with multiple arms broken and shoulders dislocated to graphic effect. It also throws around some inappropriate slurs, which is somewhat typical of B movies made fifteen to twenty years ago, but they still stand out in this day and time. However, thanks to Michael Jai White’s badass performance, BLOOD AND BONE delivers the goods for anyone looking for an entertaining, bone-crunching action film. In that context, I definitely recommend it. See the trailer below:

Fire Birds (1990, directed by David Green)


The South American drug cartels have been getting too aggressive so the American government decides to take them out with Apache helicopters.  Missions leaders Tommy Lee Jones and Dale Dye know that these helicopters are the ultimate weapons of death and that things could go terribly wrong if they recruit the wrong pilots.

So, of course, they get Nicholas Cage and Sean Young to fly them.

Fire Birds was an attempt to redo Top Gun with helicopters.  It does actually improve on Top Gun in that it gives the pilots an actual villain to fight.  The drug cartels and the German mercenary (Bert Rhine) that they hire are good B-movie villains and an improvement on the faceless and apparently nationless bad guys who showed up at the end of Top Gun.  What Fire Birds cannot improve on are the flying sequences because fighter planes are just more exciting than to watch than helicopters.

The best thing about the movie is that it brought Nicolas Cage and Tommy Lee Jones together and their acting styles mesh far better than I think anyone would expect.  Sean Young is about as believable as a helicopter pilot as you would expect her to be, which is to say not at all.  There’s a reason why Young’s best performance was as a robot.

“I.  Am.  The.  Greatest!” Nicolas Cage says in the movie and he sounds convinced.  Fire Birds makes the case that Cage is the greatest when it comes to making something bad watchable.  This movie would be thoroughly forgettable if not for his presence and the same can be said about a lot of other movies as well.  But, Tommy Lee Jones can lay claim to the “Greatest” title as well.   Five years after Fire Birds, Tommy Lee Jones would tell Jim Carrey, “I cannot sanction your buffoonery,” and the passage of time has shown that Jones knew what he was talking about.  Nicolas Cage and Tommy Lee Jones should make more movies together.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.1 and 6.2 The Italian Cruise: Venetian Love Song/Down for the Count/Arrividerci, Gopher/The Arrangement”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, season 6 begins!

Episode 6.1 and 6.2 “The Italian Cruise: Venetian Love Song/Down for the Count/Arrividerci, Gopher/The Arrangement”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on October 2nd, 1982)

The Love Boat crew goes to Italy!

The sixth season of The Love Boat did indeed start with a cruise to Italy.  It was a special two-hour episode, shot on location at sea and in Italy!  Our crew visits Monaco, Rome, Capri, and Venice and really, that’s the main appeal of this episode.  It’s certainly not the stories, which are pretty superficial even by the standards of the Love Boat.

Ernest Borgnine and Shelley Winters play an old Italian couple who bicker through the whole cruise but who also truly love each other.  Awwww!  Ernest and Shelley were veteran actors and they both appear to be having fun devouring the scenery in their scenes.  Their cruise goes better here than it did in The Poseidon Adventure.

Meredith Baxter falls for a man (David Birney, the annoying Dr. Samuels from the first season of St. Elsewhere) who turns out to be a gigolo.  However, he abandons being a manwhore so that he can pursue a relationship with Meredith.  I understand that Baxter and Birney were married at the time.  They have absolutely zero chemistry when they’re acting opposite each other.

Marie Osmond is angry over being expected to take part in an arranged marriage.  Yeah, that is kind of messed up.  She’d rather marry the totally handsome John James.

Finally, an Italian handyman who looks just like Gopher (and who is also played by Fred Grandy) abducts the real Gopher and takes his place on the ship so that he can try to win the love of a wealthy passenger named Angelica Francini (Christopher Norris) and…. well, actually, this storyline is kind of interesting.

Actually, maybe “interesting” the wrong word.

Goofy!  That’s the word I’m looking for.

This storyline is so goofy — so damn goofy — that it’s actually kind of fun.  I mean, it’s The Love Boat.  The Love Boat should be silly.  Fred Grandy playing two characters is silly and fun.  To give credit where credit is due, Grandy did a pretty good job playing the imposter imitating Gopher.  His attempts to speak in a stereotypical American accent made me laugh.  In the end, the real Gopher makes it back to the boat.  Confronted with two Gophers, the Captain realizes that the fake Gopher is the one who has actually been doing a good job and kicks him off the boat.  He’d rather have the real, incompetent Gopher and I don’t blame him.  What’s odd is that no one’s really upset or even that surprised by the kidnapping.  I don’t think anyone even bothers to callsthe police.

Anyway, Italy is the main attraction here.  I love Italy (which I visited the summer after I graduated high school) and I loved this episode!  At one point, Marie Osmond wore a red dress that looked a lot like the one that I wore to Pompeii on that windy day when I accidentally flashed a thousand tourists.  Marie was struggling with the wind too and I was like, “I share your struggle, Marie!”

I enjoyed this cruise.  I want to go back to Italy.

Scenes I Love: The Battle of Do Long Bridge from Apocalypse Now


Composer Carmine Coppola, the father of Francis Ford Coppola, was born 115 years ago today.

Coppola composed music for almost all of his son’s films.  To me, his best work was the menacing and dream-like score that he and Francis put together for 1979’s Apocalypse Now.  Some of that score can be heard in today’s scene of the day, as Willard (Martin Sheen) and the boat approach a bridge that is built every day and destroyed every night.

Song of the Day: God Only Knows by Beach Boys


RIP, Brian Wilson.

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I’ll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I’d be without you
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
If you should ever leave me
Well life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you

Lyrics: Brian Wilson/Troy Asher

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Paul Lynch Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we wish a happy birthday to Canadian filmmaker, Paul Lynch!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Paul Lynch Films

Prom Night (1980, dir by Paul Lynch, DP: Robert C. New)

No Contest (1995, dir by Paul Lynch, DP: Curtis Petersen)

No Contest II (1996, dir by Paul Lynch, DP: Barry Gravelle)

The Keeper (2004, dir by Paul Lynch, DP: Curtis Petersen)