Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/23/22 — 1/29/22


Another week in January essentially means another week of allergies and sneezing.  I watched quite a few movies this week but I also catched a few shows.  When you’re feeling under the weather, it’s sometimes more fun to watch something that’s only going to require 30 minutes of your attention as opposed to 132 of them.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

The show started with Rene nearly blowing up the cafe while trying to hide the stolen land mines and it ended with Herr Flick and Von Smallhousen trapped on a British airplane flying high over occupied France.  Along the way, Crabtree tried to speak French and the British airmen hid in a barrel.  It was all good fun.  I laughed.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!  Switzerland, as I mentioned in my write up, is a beautiful country.  The scenery is gorgeous and the people understand the value of staying on schedule.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

This week on The Bachelor, the women went to group therapy and Clayton continued to try to understand and replicate human behavior.  Seriously, they should just call him the Claytonbot.  I keep expecting him to ask someone why humans laughs and cry.

Bar Rescue (Monday Morning, Paramount TV)

Jon Taffer rescued a karaoke bar.  Yay!  A world without music is not a world for any of us.

Football Game: Buccaneers vs. Rams (Sunday Evening, NBC)

If only both teams could have won!  Seriously, from what I’ve seen of it, football is the most depressing sport ever because the players on the team that doesn’t win always end up sitting there and crying while the other team is celebrating.  That sucks.  If I was the coach, I would make sure that every game ended in a tie so that everyone could be a winner.

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

God, this was a bad show.  I watched the first four episodes of the show on Sunday afternoon.  I felt kind of bad about not liking it but it was just so painfully cutesy.  The first episode of the series featured John Stamos and the goofy guy moving in with John Stamos.  The second episode featured John Stamos and his band trying to practice while two of Bob Saget’s daughters danced around.  (The band sounded terrible.)  The third episode featured …. I don’t even remember.  I know it was during the third or the fourth episode that the school year started.  Candace Cameron was upset about being put in a gifted class.  John Stamos hit on a teacher.  I can’t remember what the goofy one did.

From what I understand, the first four episodes are apparently the show’s highpoint so I can’t imagine what the rest of the series must have been like.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoons, FXX)

I watched three episodes of this classic on Friday.  Things got started with Grillstravaganza, in which Bobby temporarily fell under the influence of Joe Jack.  This was followed by the episode where Mr. Strickland briefly got involved with Luanne’s pool-based bible study group.  And then the final episode I watched featured Hank taking over the middle school’s organic garden.  Anything that featured Hank trying to motivate the apathetic students at the middle school was always funny.  Hank’s work at the organic garden may have been a success but he was still perturbed when he ended up getting added to the mailing list of a hippie food store called Passages.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville discovered that he had a cousin and she used to be able to communicate with the spirit world.  Unfortunately, Granville’s spirit had already been too thoroughly broken for him to take much comfort in that knowledge.

Parking Wars (Monday Morning, A&E)

On Monday morning, as I watched the parking cops go out of their way to harass the citizens of Philadelphia, it occurred to me that most of these episodes were filmed over ten years ago.  I wonder how many of these people still work for the government and how many have retired.  How many are receiving a pension and how many are still walking the sidewalks and saying, “I’m just doing my job here?”  Hopefully, they’re all retired and collecting a pension.  It has to be kind of a sad existence, though.  How does anyone sleep soundly with the knowledge that they were a part of the system?

Seinfeld (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

I watched two episodes on Friday afternoon.  George and Jerry flew out to Hollywood to see Kramer.  kamer, meanwhile, was arrested for being a serial killer.  The real killer was Clint Howard, who was briefly arrested but who escaped police custody after George and Jerry accidentally left the backdoor of a police car unlocked.  It was all kind of dark, to be honest.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Monday, I got back to binging my favorite 90s show about attractive detectives investigating half-naked criminals.  The first episode featured Chris falling for a duplicitous skip tracer who, it turned out, was actually just a hitwoman.  Oh, Chris!  Everyone knows you and Rita are in love!  The next episode featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a vice cop.  They suspected that it may have been a cop-on-cop killing and, of course, it all linked up to Chris’s past.  It was kind of a dull episode, to be honest.  It wasn’t quite trashy enough.  Oh well!

I didn’t return to the show until Thursday.  The first episode I watched opened with the brutal murder of a wealthy married couple.  At first, Chris and Rita thought that the murders had been committed by the couple’s twin sons but eventually, it was discovered that it was actually the work of the maid and a hitman.  That episode was enjoyably sordid.  The episode that followed was a bit less interesting.  Chris and Rita investigated a gang of jewel thieves, one of whom was played by a youngish Tobin Bell.  It was all a bit bland but the chemistry between Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture kept things fun.

Sierra Stranger (1957, directed by Lee Sholem)


Sierra Stranger starts with a familiar western situation.  Jess Collins (Howard Duff), a penniless but honorable drifter, comes across two men tying another man to the back of a horse.  The two men claim that Sonny Grover (Ed Kemmer) is an outlaw and a claim jumper and not to be trusted. Sonny says that he’s innocent and the two men are actually the claim jumpers.  Jess does what many a western hero has done.  He sides with the underdog and saves Sonny.  To thank him, Sonny gives Jess a part of his claim.

Jess rides into the nearby town to claim his new property.  He meets and befriends Sonny’s half-brother, Bert (Dick Foran).  He also meets and falls in love with Bert’s fiancée, Meg (Gloria McGeehee).  However, soon after arriving, Jess discovers that he made a mistake and he saved the wrong man.  Sonny really is the dangerous outlaw that everyone says he is.  After Sonny robs a stagecoach and murders the driver, Jess risks his new friendship with Bert by trying to bring Sonny to justice.

Howard Duff appeared in his share of B-westerns in the 50s.  He was always a solid hero, even if he didn’t really have the screen presence of some of the other stars of the genre.  He’s pretty good in Sierra Stranger and the fact that, for once, the town is right while the drifter is wrong is an interesting twist on an otherwise standard story.  This is the rare western where the hero makes a pretty big mistake and then has to spend the rest of the movie trying to make up for it.  If you’re not a western fan, this is not the type of B-movie that’s going to change your mind.  But, for those who do like the genre, it’s an interesting twist on what we’ve been led to naturally expect.

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Bolero (dir by John Derek)


The 1984 film, Bolero, tells the story of  Ayre “Mac” MacGillvary (Bo Derek) and her best friend, Catalina (Anna Obregon).  They’re young, they’re rich, they’ve just graduated from college, and, despite the fact that they both appears to be in their early 40s, they’re determined to lose their virginities to the most perfect lovers that they can find.

Because the film is taking place in the 1920, Mac and Catalina first travel to the Middle East in hope of finding a Rudolph Valentino-style sheik.  Accompanying them is Mac’s chauffeur and protector, Cotton (a clearly embarrassed George Kennedy).  Though Mac does manage to find a sheik (played by Greg Benson), her efforts to lose her virginity to him prove to be a failure.  Though the Sheik is willing, he indulges a bit too much with his hookah and ends up passing out right before the consummating the act.

Well, if a sheik can’t do it, how about a bullfighter?  Mac and Catalina leave the Middle East for Spain and it’s there that Mac catches the eyes of Angel (Andrea Occhipinti), a celebrated bullfighter.  Mac decides that Angel will be the one to take her virginity but it turns out that, once again, nothing as is easy as it should be.  It turns out that Angel already has a lover and he’s been with her since she was a teenager.  And a 14 year-old Gypsy named Paloma (played by Olivia d’Abo) has already decided that she is going to be Angel’s next lover, which is incredibly icky even before the film makes it even ickier,  

While Mac is trying to seduce Angel, Catalina is trying to seduce a Scottish attorney named Robert Stewart (Ian Cochrane).  “What do you wear under your skirt?” Catalina asks.  “It’s a kilt!” Stewart yells because he’s Scottish.  Anyway, Catalina eventually does get an answer to her question so yay Catalina!

As for Mac, she does eventually manage to win Angel’s attention but then …. OUCH!  Angel gets gored by a bull and yes, he gets wounded exactly where you think that he gets wounded.  Suddenly, Angel can no longer get it up but fear not.  “We’re going to make that thing work,” Mac says, before she then takes up bullfighting herself.  It all eventually leads to a scene that makes heavy use of dry ice and a neon light that misspells the word ecstasy. 

Bolero is one of those sex-obsessed films that tries so hard to be erotic that it actually goes in the opposite direction and becomes so firmly anti-erotic that one gets the feeling it could be used as a torture device in a George Orwell novel.  “The Anti-Sex League sentences you to watch Bolero!”  A huge part of the problem is that, even though everyone in the film is certainly attractive, there’s still next to no chemistry between Bo Derek and any of her potential lovers.  The film was directed by Bo’s then-husband, John Derek and, somewhat perversely, John continually films her in the least flattering ways possible.  John also tries to introduce some humor into the film — at one point, it turns into a silent film, complete with title cards — but it all falls flat.  Finally, the gored bullfighter is played by a very handsome Italian actor named Andrea Occhipinti who I immediately recognized as being the same actor who played the killer in Lucio Fulci’s The New York Ripper.  Though it was a bit unfair to Occhipinti (whose likable blandness was exactly what made him such a subversive choice to play the killer in Fulci’s film), I was worried every moment that Mac was left alone with him.  (Occhipinti is now one of Italy’s most respected film producers.) 

Produced by Cannon Films, Bolero was apparently a huge flop when it was released.  Bolero was considered to be so bad that it led to MGM announcing that they would no longer help to distribute any other Cannon Films.  I can’t really blame MGM.  Even when viewed decades later, Bolero is a dull romp that’s fit only for the Anti-Sex League.

A Blast From The Past: Censorship: A Question of Judgment


The year is 1963 and Nancy is the editor of the high school newspaper.  She’s upset that so many students are settling their disagreements through fighting.  She wants to run a story about the fights and she wants to publish the pictures of the two students who were involved in the latest brawl.  When her faculty advisor points out that a high school newspaper is supposed to be positive and that publishing the pictures of the combatants would be an invasion of their privacy, Nancy argues that she has a responsibility as a journalist….

NANCY, IT’S A HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER!  YOU’RE NOT A JOURNALIST!

Anyway …. what would you do?

This film is from 1963 and it seems to be a bit biased in Nancy’s favor.  Of course, Nancy should publicly shame any student caught fighting!  Myself, I have to disagree.  I’m reminded of the old but very true saying: “No one likes a snitch.”  Add to that, judging from the opening shots of this film, the entire school witnessed the fight so it’s not like Nancy is going to be telling her readership something that they didn’t already witness firsthand.  Seriously, what is Nancy’s problem?

I’m against censorship but I’m also against being a snitch.  Honestly, I think Nancy has gone a little power mad.

However, if you want to consider for this issue for yourself, here, from 1963, is Censorship: A Question of Judgment:

Music Video of the Day: Valentina by Public Service Broadcasting, ft. Smoke Fairies (2015, dir by ????)


This is from Public Service Broadcasting’s The Race For Space, which I highly recommend. This song and the video are about Valentina Tereshkova, who was the first woman to go into space. In 1963, she spent three days in space and orbited the Earth a total of 48 times.

Enoy!

Ten Wanted Men (1955, directed by Bruce Humberstone)


Arizona rancher Wick Campbell (Richard Boone) is angered when he discovers that one of his servants, Maria (Donna Martell), would rather marry Howie Stewart (Skip Homeier) than be with Wick.  Wick has had a long rivalry with Howie and his older brothers, John (Randolph Scott) and Adam (Lester Matthews).  Determined to get rid of the Stewarts and to have Maria for himself, Wick hires notorious gunfighter Frank Scavo (Leo Gordon) to take over the town and defeat the Stewarts, one way or another.

Ten Wanted Men (the title refers to Scavo’s gang) is an above average Randolph Scott western.  Scott was one of the best of the western heroes because he always seemed so authentic whenever he rode a horse, shot a gun, or even just put on a cowboy hat.  Scott was also an underrated actor and, as he got older, he became Hollywood’s go-to choice whenever they needed a strong, silent lead for a western.  That’s the role that he plays in Ten Wanted Men, as the patriarch of the Stewart family.  He’s instinctively fair but he will do whatever has to be done to protect his brothers.

Wick Campbell is John Stewart’s opposite, an oily rancher who hires other men to bully his enemies and who abuses his servant in a way that the Stewarts never would consider.  Though Richard Boone became best known for playing the hero on Have Gun–Will Travel, Wick is the type of cowardly villain who everyone will be happy to see get exactly what he deserves.  As played by Leo Gordon, Frank Scavo is a brutish outlaw and, unlike Wick, he doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

Ten Wanted Men is a good western.  The plot may not be surprising but the gunfights are exciting and Randolph Scott is as ideal a hero as always.  Fans of the genre will enjoy it.

Music Video of the Day: Look Up by Toni Collette & The Finish (2007, dir by ????)


Toni Collette can sing!

On another note, my little ADD-wracked brain has been having a hard time remembering that the name of Adam McKay’s latest film is Don’t Look Up and not Don’t Look Now.  (Don’t Look Now, of course, is the classic Nicolas Roeg film about Julie Christine and Donald Sutherland taking an eventful trip to Venice and getting to know a mysterious person who wanders around while wearing a red jacket.  Seriously, if you’re missing traveling and you’re into the romance of Italy, check out Don’t Look Now!)  Fortunately, a friend sent me this video as a way to help me remember the difference between the two.  Personally, I prefer the music video to Adam McKay’s film.  It’s a lovely video and there’s no one yelling at me.

Toni Colette & The Forward released one album in 2006, Beautiful Awkward Pictures.  Two singles were released off the album, this one and the title track.  The video for the title track was directed by Nash Edgerton and I’m tempted to think that he may have done this one as well.  But I’m not sure so until I get some sort of official confirmation, we’ve got question marks.

This song was written by Toni Collette herself.

Enjoy!

Look up look up
The sky is falling
Colors changing
People laughing
In the face of danger
Look out look out
The bruise is swelling
Streets are bleeding
Angels calling
In a time of rescue
The rivers flooding
Boats are sinking
Lights are fading
An attempt to get through
To the ocean of you
All naked & blue
How do you do
Watch out watch out
The fools are fighting
There’s love that’s dying
An earth that’s crying
For the life it once knew
Trace the day
Across all space
To find a smile
Upon your face
I could never replace
The hue of these days
It’s just a phase
That we can’t sleep
We can only weep
For all we can’t keep
We live in dream
Hear this hear this
The record’s playing
There’s lovers swaying
A town that’s praying
For a laugh to see them through
The rocket’s lifting
The air is thinning
Shapes are shifting
Oh god but what a view
One for your time
Two for your words
Three for a picture of a
Four dimensional world
Five to live with each other
Six to sing the same song
Seven not to eat them
Eight to feel that you belong
Nine to let go of fear
Ten to hold your vision dear
Look up look up
The sky is falling
Colors changing
People laughing
In the face of danger
The bruise is swelling
Streets are bleeding
Angels calling
In a time of rescue
The rivers flooding
Boats are sinking
Lights are fading
An attempt to get through
The fools are fighting
There’s love that’s dying
An earth that’s crying
For the life it once knew
For the life it once knew
For the life it once knew
For the life it once knew

Finally, Here Are The 2021 Nominations of the Costume Designers Guild!


I have one last set of guild nominations to share with you today.  Here are the 2021 nominations of the Costume Designers Guild!

Excellence in Sci-Fi / Fantasy Film
Dune – Jacqueline West & Robert Morgan
The Green Knight – Malgosia Turzanska
The Matrix Resurrections – Lindsay Pugh
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings – Kym Barrett
Spider-Man: No Way Home – Sanja M. Hays
The Suicide Squad – Judianna Makovsky

Excellence in Contemporary Film
Coming 2 America – Ruth E. Carter
Don’t Look Up – Susan Matheson
In The Heights – Mitchell Travers
No Time to Die – Suttirat Anne Larlarb
Zola – Derica Cole Washington

Excellence in Period Film
Cruella – Jenny Beavan
Cyrano – Massimo Cantini Parrini & Jacqueline Durran
House of Gucci – Janty Yates
Nightmare Alley – Luis Sequeira
West Side Story – Paul Tazewell