Horror on TV: Tales From the Crypt 7.2 “Last Respects” (dir by Freddie Francis)


Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is the 2nd episode of the 7th season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!  In Last Respects, three bickering sisters inherit not only a struggling store but also a monkey’s paw that grants wishes.  Of course, as with all wish-granting monkey paws, there’s a catch!

This episode was directed by veteran British cinematographer and horror director, Freddie Francis!

It originally aired on April 26th, 1996.

Enjoy!

Halloween Havoc!: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (Bryanston Pictures 1974)


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The first time I watched THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE was at a drive-in around 1975. I remember laughing hysterically at the film; of course, I was tripping my brains out on mescaline at the time and laughed at anything! I’ve since viewed the film several times without chemical enhancement and I’m no longer laughing. I like it a lot, it’s a scary little exploitation shocker for sure, but one thing that really irks me is a  certain segment of critics who treat it as some kind of metaphor with deep meaning.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to like here. The tension is gripping, the horror relentless, and Tobe Hooper did a terrific job working with a miniscule budget. It’s just that over the years, critics have overanalyzed the thing to death, expounding on the political and cultural ramifications of it’s themes and blah, blah, blah. Whether or not all this blathering about…

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4 Shots From Horror History: I Know What You Did Last Summer, Vampires, The Sixth Sense, The Blair Witch Project


This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we complete the 90s!

4 Shots From 4 Films

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997, dir by Jim Gillepsie)

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997, dir by Jim Gillepsie)

Vampires (1998, dir by John Carpenter)

Vampires (1998, dir by John Carpenter)

The Sixth Sense (1999, dir by M. Night Shyamalan)

The Sixth Sense (1999, dir by M. Night Shyamalan)

The Blair Witch Project (1999, dir by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez)

The Blair Witch Project (1999, dir by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez)

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; ALT Title: Anybody seen my pants? Really, I’m cold.


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We open in rural …. Iowa? Illinois? Middlewest?  We see lots of ramshackle farms and shitty halloween decorations, but that’s not all… there’s also a prison for the criminally insane.   Apparently, it’s time to move Michael Myers from his basement asylum Hell to somewhere….else.  MM is put in an ambulance for transport and proceeds to wake and stick his thumb through a man’s skull.  I get it- MM is pissed, but why didn’t he use his thumb powers to get out of the prison basement?!  Oops, I forgot to take my stupid pills….ahhhhh…. this is GENIUS!!!

We are in a suburban home and we meet Jaime who is the orphaned child of Jamie Lee Curtis AKA MM’s Niece.  She is having all kinds of disturbing hallucinations of MM coming to get her.  Her adoptive sister Rachel is not much help.  She whines about babysitting her sister Jaime because she wants to be the latest conquest of the massively eye browed Brady.

Enter Donald Pleasance (DP).  He’s all scarred up from his previous MM run-ins and limps his way to the Prison Administrator.  They go back and forth:  DP: MM is evil. Administrator: No, you are.  DP: He’ll kill everyone.  Administrator: You’ll kill everyone. DP: I’m evil.  Administrator: No! MM is evi…. You got me!  Phone Rings: MM has escaped.

MM has found a Diner/Gas Station who’s decor is wall to wall Abe Lincoln pictures.  MM who is evil, and apparently a closeted supporter of John Wilkes Booth, kills everyone there.  Donald Pleasance arrives and tries to kill MM and fails.  MM steals a tow truck and drives off to Haddonfield, Illinois to purportedly kill his niece Jaime.  DP is stranded and is forced to hitch rides.

Jaime is being bullied at school.  Rachel picks her up to get a costume for Halloween, which you’d think would be this town’s least favorite holiday, but NOPE.  They arrive at a drug store where one of the clerks is Kathleen Kinmont- the Sheriff’s daughter- who really really wants to sleep with Brady and Rachel is oblivious to this.

Rachel takes Jaime trick or treating and Brady decides to pork Kathleen Kinmont (KK) and gets totally busted when Rachel rings the bell and KK answers the door for some reason and for another some reason doesn’t have any pants on! Brady is in the background and no one seems phased that KK is without pants for 45 more minutes of the film.  This cheating distracts Rachel, leaving Jaime on her own.

DP goes to the Haddonfield Sheriff and convinces him that MM has RETURNED!!! He lets the town know and a beer addled Drunken Posse forms.  These men are beer fueled, shotgun toting, drunkards going on an MM hunt!!

The Drunk Posse thinks they’ve spotted MM, but they just shot up and murder a sleeping drunk guy.  OOPS!

The Sheriff and DP find the police station filled with dead cops.  They go outside and find Jaime and Rachel. They take the remaining police force to his house to make a last stand. This is where is gets weird….  Brady and KK are trying to pork and are interrupted by her dad the Sheriff and his deputy.  KK never puts on pants even when her dad and his co-workers arrive.  It could be a pants allergy.  The Deputy proceeds to sit in a rocking chair…yep…a rocking chair.  Huh?  I was in the Army for a long time;  I learned how to breach a building, hold a fixed position, and look awesome in Green, but I was never taught the Rocking Chair maneuver.  Maybe, that was just for Delta Force guys.

Brady tries to board up the house a bit.  KK checks on the deputy, but he’s dead.  Looks like Myers did kill the DEP U TEE!!! [sung]  Then, MM kills KK- She’s now pantsless forever with the angels in heaven.  Jaime is upstairs with Rachel and MM goes after her.  Brady tries to stop him, but MM kills him too.  MM has more urge to kill than a person who had to sit through a 3 hour timeshare presentation.

The girls manage to escape: Jaime by being lowered slowly down from the roof and Rachel much more quickly by falling off the roof.  They run for the school and MM pursues them. The Drunken Posse arrives and manages to not kill themselves or others for this scene only.  They take the girls in the truck and drive away to safety …. or so they think!!! MM climbs up from under the truck Indiana Jones style and kills all of the Drunken Posse. Rachel takes the truck and slams on the brakes to get MM to fly off of the roof of the truck. She then runs him over.  The Sheriff and some extras arrive to shoot up MM.  Jaime goes to the now deceased MM and touches his corpse.

They go home and Jaime dresses up as a clown like MM did in Halloween 1 and stabs her adoptive mom to death.  The End.

This is the most analysis this film has ever received or should, but it’s Halloween time. Thanks for enjoying this terrible film with me.  Remember, as always, if you like my work, tell my boss Lisa Marie Bowman!!!

Reblog: Lisa’s Thoughts on Halloween II (directed by Rick Rosenthal)


And now that you’ve re-read Arleigh’s review of the original Halloween, why not check out my review of the original Halloween II? This was originally published in 2012! After reading this, be sure to check back in about 90 minutes for Case’s review of Halloween 4! And then come back on Thursday for Halloween 5! (Where’s Halloween 3? It will be dealt with as soon as we finish the saga of Michael Myers…)

Through the Shattered Lens

Last night, I watched Halloween II.  No, I’m not referring to the rather disturbing Rob Zombie movie that came out in 2009.  Instead, this Halloween II was the original sequel to the original Halloween.  This version was written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill.  It was released in 1981 and I saw it in 2012, via Cinemax.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it’s October, of course!  It’s horror month and Halloween is one of the great horror movies.  Would Halloween II turn out to be another great horror movie?  Well, to be honest, I figured it probably wouldn’t but I decided to watch it anyway.

What Was It About?

Halloween II picks up exactly from where the first Halloween ended.  The sole surviving babysitter, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), is being rushed to the hospital by two paramedics, one nice (Lance Guest) and one kinda crude and pervy (Leo Rossi). …

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Reblog: Arleigh’s Review Of The Original Halloween (dir. by John Carpenter)


Hi everyone! Lisa here! As Halloween approaches, now is the perfect time for us to take a look back at the infamous and trend-setting career of Michael Myers. In about 90 minutes, Case will be posting his review of Halloween 4. However, before reading that, why not re-read Arleigh’s thoughts on the one that started it all, the original Halloween! From 2010, here’s Arleigh’s review…

Through the Shattered Lens

What better way to bring back a new daily grindhouse than the film which started the teen slasher genre. I speak of John Carpenter’s Halloween.

The film was truly a child of 1970’s independent filmmaking. With a budget of just $320,000 (even adjusting for inflation it’s still quite low) Carpenter made what’s considered one of horror’s defining films. Carpenter’s film was a smash hit when it was released in 1978. It played mostly in drive-in’s, grindhouse cinema houses before finally appearing in more mainstream venues. By then the film had become one of those must-see titles that many films both independent and mainstream try for but fail to do.

Some have commented that since Halloween was such a success in the box-office then it shouldn’t be considered grindhouse. I look at such thinking as quite narrow. Grindhouse was never synonymous with bad filmmaking. If one said the term meant…

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Horror on the Lens: The Hearse (dir by George Bowers)


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Today’s horror on the Lens in 1980’s The Hearse!

You can read my review here and you can watch it below!

Enjoy!