What Lisa Watched Last Night #81: California Dreams 3.15 “Junior Achievements” (directed by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on May 3, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as the world froze outside, I battled insomnia by watching yet another old episode of California Dreams.

Why Was I Watching It?

Last night, Texas was hit by a cold front. So, there I was, wide awake at 3 in the morning, curled up on the couch in my beloved Pirates t-shirt and panties and shivering as the wind howled and the temperature outside plunged into the low 30s. I figured that maybe watching something silly on YouTube would help me get a little sleep. So, I figured why not watch a show from sunny, always warm California?

Unfortunately, as I’ve explained in my previous California Dreams–related posts, there aren’t any old episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on YouTube so I had to watch California Dreams instead.

What Was It About?

It’s flu season in California. Instead of doing the smart thing and staying home and resting, the very sick Tony (William James Jones) continues to go to school and work. Fortunately, Tony’s girlfriend Sam (Jennie Kwan) is from China and therefore, using typical California Dreams logic, is capable of brewing a magical tea.

Meanwhile, the economics teacher at Pacific Coast High School is handing out $500 to his students and demanding that they use it to start a successful business. While Jake (Australia’s Jay Anthony Franke) and Mark (Aaron Jackson) struggle to sell music lessons, Sly (Michael Cade), Tiffany (Kelly Packard), and Lorena (Diana Uribe) go into business selling Sam’s magic tea. However, their greed angers Sam’s ancestors.

Naturally, lessons are learned.

What Worked?

The commercial shoot was amusing. Anyone who has ever appeared in a student film will be able to relate to it. I especially liked the fact that Tiffany’s response to Tony’s direction was to repeat the line in the exact same way as before.

I liked the way that Jake’s student delivered the line, “A public debut might be a bit premature…”

What Did Not Work?

Wow, California Dreams — ethnic stereotype much?

I have to admit that I’m a bit confused about PCHS. In some episodes, it’s portrayed as being this school where there’s little to no discipline and the student body is absurdly powerful. And then, in an episode like this one, it’s suddenly full of teachers who just randomly hand out money, demand that their students start and run a successful business, and sentence people to summer school on a whim.

As well, you have to wonder how the teacher could punish Jake and Mark for not charging for their lessons while then giving Sam an A just because she was pretty much forced, by a random set of circumstances, into doing the right thing. I mean, how exactly is that integrity?

Seriously, California must have a really powerful teachers union.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Back when I was in college, I had a role in a student film where I was required to spend a lot of time in bed while wearing a black negligee. The script didn’t call for me to cough but I did so anyway because I felt that’s what my character would do in that situation. “Lisa, don’t cough,” the director said. I glared back at him and said, “Well, excuse the fuck outta me for trying to give a good performance.” Everyone laughed and assumed I was joking so I just went with it.

Lessons Learned

Back in the 90s, you could do a lot with $500.

Song of the Day: Seasons In The Abyss (by Slayer – R.I.P. Jeff Hanneman)

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Arleigh

Today marks a sad day for the metal world as Jeff Hanneman, guitarist and founding member of the metal band Slayer, passed away at the age of 49.

He now joins other metal gods (Burton, Dimebag, Bonham and Dio just to name a few) who were taken too soon up in Valhalla where, I sincerely hope, they’re starting up a jam session to create the metal supergroup of supergroups.

To commemorate and memorialize Hanneman’s impact on the metal scene these past 30 or so years I’d like to share my favorite Slayer song: “Seasons In The Abyss”.

R.I.P. Jeff Hanneman…

“Lo there do I see my father, Lo there do I see my mother, my Sisters and my brothers , Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo, they do call me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.”

Seasons In The Abyss

Razors edge
Outlines the dead
Incisions in my head
Anticipation the stimulation
To kill the exhilaration

(chorus:)
[part 1]
Close your eyes
Look deep in your soul
Step outside yourself
And let your mind go
Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die

[part 2]
Close your eyes
And forget your name
Step outside yourself
And let your thoughts drain
As you go insane… [go] insane

Innate seed
To watch you bleed
A demanding physical need
Desecrated, eviscerated
Time perpetuated

Close your eyes
Look deep in your soul
Step outside yourself
And let your mind go
Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die

Close your eyes… and forget your name
Step outside yourself… and let your thoughts drain
As you go insane… [go] insane

Inert flesh
A bloody tomb
A decorative splatter brightens the room
An execution a sadist ritual
Mad intervals of mind residuals

Close your eyes
Look deep in your soul
Step outside yourself
And let your mind go
Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die

Close your eyes… and forget your name
Step outside yourself… and let your thoughts drain
As you go insane… [go] insane

Trailer: The Wolverine (CinemaCon Exclusive)

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Arleigh

First we had the WonderCon Exclusive trailer for Pacific Rim drop a couple days ago. Now we have the CinemaCon Exclusive trailer for the upcoming The Wolverine which looks to be an improvement from this film’s first trailer.

This trailer for The Wolverine looks to emphasize the action in the film instead of the film’s story. We get many scenes of Wolverine doing what he does best. For fans of the character this storyline and setting should be recognizable as being based off of the Chris Claremont and Frank Miller mini-series about the character that helped create one of this character’s better backstory.

The Wolverine drops in the theaters on July 26, 2013.

Source: AMC Theaters

Trailer: Aftershock (Official Red Band)

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Arleigh

With all the hoopla over this weekend’s release of Iron Man 3 one shouldn’t overlook the release the following weekend of a little horror film coming in under the radar called Aftershock.

The film has Eli Roth producing and starring in it with Nicolás López directing it. The film is a fictional account of a group of Americans with their Chilean friend trying to survive the aftermath of the real-life massive 2010 earthquake in Chile.

From the look of this official red band trailer the film looks like it’s going to be quite bloody and gory. If there’s anything that Roth seems to know it’s blood and gore. Whether this film and its director will bring something else to the table will be determined upon the film’s release.

Aftershock is set for a North American release date of May 10, 2013.

Song of the Day: Midnight Rider (by The Allman Brothers Band)

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Arleigh

What else to follow up a guilty pleasure than with a classic southern rock song that I still consider one of the best examples of what made 70’s American Rock an equal of the huge British invasion that was currently happening in the US with mega bands like Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and The Who. It’s this song from one of the preeminent Southern Rock groups of the 70’s, The Allman Brothers Band, that arrives as the latest “Song of the Day”.

“Midnight Rider” is a great Southern rock tune which successful melds not just blues guitar playing but country and gospel songwriting and vocalizing. It’s well-known for Greg Allman’s powerful vocals and Dicket Betts lead guitar work. Yet, I consider this song as reaching “one of the greatest” status because of the rhythm guitar (with an acoustic guitar no less) work by one of the greatest (call it hyperbole but I truly believe him to be one of the best ever) guitarists who ever picked up the instrument whether one’s genre of music was jazz, flamenco, rock, blues, metal, rock and everything in-between. Duane Allman’s acoustic guitar work makes this song what it is. It’s a rhythm that he sets which everyone else in the band orbits around with their own talent rising to meet it on equal footing.

For some people this song was first experienced as the opening track to Rob Zombie’s underappreciated “grindhouse road flick” The Devil’s Rejects. Others of more recent time probably heard it as part of the GEICO insurance company’s 2013 ad-campaign. It doesn’t matter where one has heard it. The more people who hears it and experiences just why this song continues to be a staple of what made 70’s American rock scene such a great one the better people will be for having heard it.

Long live, Duane Allman.

Midnight Rider

Well, I’ve got to run to keep from hidin’,
And I’m bound to keep on ridin’.
And I’ve got one more silver dollar,
But I’m not gonna let ’em catch me, no,
Not gonna let ’em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I don’t own the clothes I’m wearing,
And the road goes on forever,
And I’ve got one more silver dollar,
But I’m not gonna let ’em catch me, no
Not gonna let ’em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I’ve gone by the point of caring,
Some old bed I’ll soon be sharing,
And I’ve got one more silver dollar,

But I’m not gonna let ’em catch me, no
Not gonna let ’em catch the Midnight Rider.

No, I’m not gonna let ’em catch me, no
Not gonna let ’em catch the Midnight Rider.

Guilty Pleasure No. 5: Invasion U.S.A.

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Arleigh

Time to put up a new guilty pleasure that goes way, way back for me. This flick came out a year after the ultra-violent, thus equally awesome Red Dawn. As a very impressionable young boy that film had me and my brother and a select group of friends coming up with ways to form our very own Wolverines. While our plans were really just an excuse to play war games in the playground it was the following year in 1985 when this latest “guilty pleasure” had my brother and I moving up to a new level doomsday prepping.

That film was the Chuck Norris classic bloodbath: Invasion U.S.A.

Instead of the Soviet military invading the U.S. mainland this time around it would be Latin American communist guerrillas led by a Rogue KGB agent who would be doing the invading. Well, invading the suburbs and malls of Florida at least. Just like in true exploitation fashion the film would use the fear Americans had of foreign terrorists (this was the era of the airline hijackings, hostage takings and cafe bombings) finally putting it in their heads to strike at the American heartland.

But who would stop them if none other than the poor man’s Sylvester Stallone. He was no Rambo, but his name has become even more feared in popular culture. He is Chuck Norris and he’s the country’s only savior against hundreds of well-armed terrorist guerrillas and the rogue Soviet leaders. For a pre-teen set this was a flick that opened up the imagination to new levels of violence (thus awesome playground wargaming afterwards) and epic action. It’s not a surprise that it would be the Cannon Films group led by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus (proprietors of some of the 80’s best and most violent action films of the era).

This film has become a sort of cult classic amongst action film aficionados. It’s literally a film that puts on the action gas from the start and doesn’t let up. Even has grindhouse stalwarts like Richard Lynch and Billy Drago to give it some exploitation creds.

They sure don’t make action flicks like this anymore. Which really is a damn bloody shame.

On a side note: this is one flick I hope Lisa Marie, Leonard and these Snarkalecs they seem to be hanging about it to view one night if it ever airs on TV.

Review: Bates Motel 1.7 “The Man In Number 9”

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Really, Bates Motel?

After all that build-up and all the dramatic cliffhangers, that’s how you resolve the Deputy Shelby subplot?

Last week’s episode of Bates Motel ended with the evil Deputy Shelby (Mike Vogel) getting shot by Dylan (Max Thieriot) and ending up lying dead at the feet of Norma (Vera Farmiga) and Norman (Freddie Highmore). How, we wondered, would the Bates Family get out of this one? How would they handle the suspicions of Sheriff Romero (Nestor Carbonell)? How could they possibly get anyone to believe what had happened, especially since Shelby’s sex slave had disappeared into the woods?

Well, that was all resolved in the episode’s first five minutes. Romero showed up, believed everything that Norma told him, and agreed to help cover up the truth. Problem solved.

Oh, and the missing sex slave?

Well, who knows?

To be honest, nobody seems to be too concerned about her.

Despite the fact that the rest of the episode was actually pretty well-done, it was all overshadowed by the anti-climatic resolution of the whole Shelby subplot. (Or, as it was referred to in this episode, “The Deputy Shelby scandal.”) So far, Dylan, Norman, and Norma have — individually and together — murdered four people and they’ve managed to rather easily get away with it despite the fact that they live in a town where criminals are burned alive in the town square.

(Are we ever going to hear about that again?)

Anyway, once Romero let the Bates Family off the hook, Bates Motel got back to normal. In preparation for the grand opening of the Bates Motel, Norma attempted to pass out some brochures at a few local businesses but was told that nobody wanted anything to do with the Bates Motel because of the “Deputy Shelby scandal.” I have to say that I laughed out loud when I heard that phrase. I just imagined people driving by the Bates Motel and saying, “Did you hear about the Deputy Shelby scandal?”

However, there is a glimmer of sordid hope on the horizon when a guy named Jake (played by Jere Burns) shows up at the motel. As Jake explains, he had a standing reservation with the motel’s former owner for a block a rooms every few weeks. It’s pretty obvious from the first minute Jake shows up that he’s evil and creepy but Norma needs the money…

Meanwhile, Norman has perhaps the worst week of his life. He discovers a stray dog and starts feeding it. He even names it Juno. (At first, I assumed that he had named it after the Ellen Page movie but I doubt Norma would have allowed him to see that film.) Then, Bradley (Nicola Paltz) rejects him, explaining that their sexual encounter was a one time thing. An upset Norman walks back to the motel and arrives just in time to see Juno get run over by a passing car!

Picking up his dead dog, Norman announces that he’s going to see Emma’s father the taxidermist and that’s where this episode ends.

There was a lot to like in last night’s episode. Jere Burns gave an appropriately creepy performance as Jake and Vera Farmiga continues to find the perfect balance between melodrama and camp. However, the rather convenient resolution of the “Deputy Shelby scandal” overshadowed the entire episode. Normally, I enjoy the melodramatic shifts on tone that have come to define Bates Motel but, during last night’s episode, it was all just a bit too much.

Random Observations:

Jere Burns certainly is a creepy looking guy, isn’t he? He looks and occasionally sounds like he could be Christopher Walken’s younger brother.
I say this nearly every week but Olivia Cooke really does deserve her own show where she plays a high school student who solves crimes in her spare time. Her scenes with Vera Farmiga were a lot of fun.
Norma’s sex talk with Norman was performed to squirm-inducing perfection by Farmiga and Freddie Highmore.
It looks like Bradley might like Dylan and who can blame her when Dylan’s played by Max Thieriot?
When Norman was imagining being in bed with Bradley early in this episode, I briefly thought the show was acknowledging what I initially suspected — that Norman and Bradley’s earlier encounter took place solely in Norman’s mind. However, it turns out I was wrong on both counts.
I wanted to cry when Norman’s dog got run over.

Poll: Which Films Are You Most Looking Forward To Seeing In June?

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last month’s results can be seen here.

As always, you can vote for up to 4 films and write-ins are allowed.

Happy voting!

I know that most people will probably be voting for either Man of Steel or World War Z but for me, June is all about The Bling Ring and This Is The End.

Trailer: Pacific Rim (Wonder-Con Exclusive)

Posted on April 29, 2013 by Arleigh

July 12, 2013 will be the date that will go down in otaku history when anime and live-action finally come together to prove that dreams of a live-action versions of some of the most beloved anime titles can work outside the animator’s studio. Guillermo Del Toro may not admit it but this Wonder-Con exclusive trailer for his upcoming Pacific Rim is chock full of anime influences.

Giant mecha aka Giant robots piloted by humans: CHECK

Giant monsters alien or interdimensional in origin: CHECK

Humanity brought to the brink of extinction and living in fortified cities: CHECK

It sounds like the basic outlines for anime of the past 30 or so years. There’s a bit of Neon Genesis Evangelion. There’s definitely a healthy dosage of the Mazinger Z DNA in this film. We can’t forget the classic Voltron that introduced many young people in the West in the 80’s to the joy of ultra-violent anime. Outside of anime there’s the Ultraman versus kaiju live-action Saturday serials that continues to be popular in Japan to this day and was a staple of any growing boy’s entertainment agenda on Saturday mornings.

Whether this film lives up to the hype it’s been gaining since the first teaser was shown late last year is still an unanswered question, but for fans of action anime this film looks like a love-letter to us and everyone else should just hang on for the ride whether they want to or not.

Plus, for those not steeped in otaku culture it has something for you as well: Jax Teller, Luther, Clay Morrow and Charlie “Kitten Mittens” Kelly.

On July 12, 2013 will be the date to cancel the apocalypse.

Source: Joblo Movie Network

6 Trailers For The End of April

Posted on April 28, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi! It’s time for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers!

1) Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

Say what you will about this trailer and the idea of having a concert on an airplane, Slade Craven is a great name.

2) Harrad Summer (1974)

This film is a sequel to the Harrad Experiment, which I reviewed earlier this year. From what I can gather, this film is about the values of the future challenging the values of today…

3) Parasite (1982)

Speaking of the values of the future…

4) Score (1974)

“Amyl Nitrate? What’s this?” For some reason, that line made me laugh.

5) Screamtime (1983)

This trailer is actually scared me a little. It was the puppet.

6) In Love (1983)

In Love was apparently an attempt to make a “real film” that just happened to feature hardcore sex scenes. For that reason, the trailer’s been edited but you can probably guess what’s going on behind those “Scene Missing” cards. I just like the trailer because of the theme song.