Review: True Blood S5E8 “Somebody That I Used To Know”

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of True Blood was memorable for many reasons but especially for being the directorial debut of Stephen Moyer. Moyer, who plays Bill and is married to Anna Paquin in real life, directs the Hell out of this episode and I mean that in absolutely the best way. Whether it’s the way that Moyer allows the camera to prowl restlessly through each scene or the hallucinatory feel that he brought to the staging of some tonight’s best moments, Moyer brought both a sense of mystery and an atmosphere of genuine menace to tonight’s episode. Those are two qualities that True Blood has occasionally struggled with this season and it was nice to see them so present tonight. As a result, tonight’s episode was one of the most memorable of the 5th season and I hope that future seasons of True Blood will find Moyer returning to the director’s chair.

Tonight’s episode also gave us what we’ve been waiting for all season: Naked Alcide.

Yes, apparently Alcide had moved on from his night with Sookie because tonight, we got an extended sequence of him having sex with his new werewolf girlfriend, Rikki. Rikki and Alcide talked quite a bit while they were doing it and I’m sure that they may have said something important but, to be honest, that scene was all about Naked Alcide.

Some people (though certainly not me — no never!) would argue that all this episode needed to be memorable was for Alicde to show up naked. However, some other pretty interesting things happened as well…

For instance, Luna turned into Sam! That’s right. While Sam and Andy were off interrogating the fat redneck that Sam captured during the previous episode, Luna stumbled over to the mirror in her hospital room and discovered that she had shifted into Sam. This was one of those great “WTF” moments and Sam Trammell did an excellent job playing both Sam and Luna tonight.

(And, to be honest, it never feels like a true season of True Blood unless something batshit crazy happens with Sam.)

That said, I do wish that tonight’s episode had done a bit more with Luna transforming into Sam. For all the possible ways that tonight’s scenario could have played out, the show was content to have Luna sneak out of the hospital and join up with Sam and Andy as they continued to track down the murderous rednecks. Eventually, Luna nearly collapsed (because, after all, she was in the hospital for a pretty good reason) and transformed back into herself while Sam held her. It was a sweet moment for the two characters but, at the same time, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more of Luna as Sam.

Speaking of the rednecks, they managed to kidnap Jessica and presented her to Hoyt as a “gift” of sorts. They handed Hoyt a gun and then, rather conveniently, all but one of them left the house so that Hoyt could murder his ex-girlfriend. Now, last week, I declared that Hoyt had managed to claim Andy’s former title of being the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps. However, tonight, Hoyt somewhat redeemed himself by not only refusing to kill Jessica but by helping Jessica kill the one redneck left behind to guard them.

Since the sun was out, Hoyt left Jessica behind in the house while he went to get help. However, even though Hoyt may no longer be the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps, he’s still a contender and he promptly managed to get himself lost. Finally, Hoyt managed to flag down a passing truck just to have the unseen driver pull a gun on him. I’m going to guess that the driver is also the dragon who was mentioned in last week’s episode.

The rednecks’ attempts to offer up Jessica as a sacrifice were paralleled by not one but two separate vampires on tonight’s episode. Pam invited Tara to feast on an old high school rival down in her club’s dungeon. Even more importantly, Bill drank the blood of a human girl who was offered to him by Salome.

This was an especially important scene because, up until this point, Bill has been a very outspoken supporter of mainstreaming. By his actions on tonight’s show, it would appear that Bill has now come over to the side of Salome, Nora, and Russell. Indeed, all of the members of the Authority were so impressed by the appearance of Lillith during last week’s episode that they’ve all pretty much abandoned Roman’s precious mainstreaming.

All of them, that is, except for Eric. Alexander Skarsgard had some of his best scenes of the season tonight as he brooded over the actions of his fellow vampires and argued with his “sister” Nora. Judging by tonight’s episode and the preview for next week, we appear to be heading for a major confrontation between the “born again” Bill and the always skeptical Eric and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Speaking of vampires, Sookie and Jason went to the faeries to try to discover which vampire killed their parents. With the help of the faeries, Sookie was able to enter her mother’s mind and see the attack that led to the death of her parents. However, she couldn’t get a clear view of the vampire’s face and, strangely, she also found herself entering into the mind of the vampire. This sequence, with its frequent jump cuts and distorted camera angles, was perhaps the best evidence offered up tonight that Stephen Moyer should direct more episode of True Blood once season 6 starts production.

Meanwhile, Lafayette has finally gotten smart enough to start demanding some sort of money for continually allowing himself to be possessed by dead people. He charges Arlene $300 to perform a séance where they attempt to convince the fire demon to stop chasing after Terry and Patrick. The ghost of dead Iraqi woman replies that the curse will only be lifted if Terry kills Patrick or Patrick kills Terry. Patrick responds by running out of the séance. Seeing as how Scott Foley is only a guest star, I’m going to guess that, one way or another, Patrick is going to be toast.

And did I mention that tonight’s episode featured Alcide naked?

Because it totally did.

Random observations:

Largely because of the sequence where Sookie flashes back to her parents being attacked and killed, this episode ended up with an unoffical scene count of 57.
I really hope that Bill comes to his senses soon.
How neat was it when Sam turned into that snake?
Was it just me or was Jason really cute tonight? This has really been a pretty good season for those of us who love Ryan Kwanten and his performance as the well-meaning but occasionally just a bit dense Jason.
I totally related to what Sookie was saying about waiting in line at the bank. Jason’s reaction was adorable and priceless.
Only 4 more episodes left!

Review: True Blood S5E7 “In The Beginning…”

Posted on July 22, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow.

That, in a word, sums up my reaction to tonight’s episode of True Blood. While I’ve enjoyed this season, I cannot deny that it’s been an uneven one with great episodes alternating with episodes that felt like they were mostly serving as filler. Tonight’s episode was one of the great ones and, if the final half of this season can continue to build on this episode’s momentum, season 5 of True Blood will be a memorable one indeed.

A lot of things happened on tonight’s episode of True Blood and I’m still taking them all in, even as I write this. This is going to be a review of first impressions and I make no apologies for that.

For a show that has often been in danger of coming across like a collection of random scenes and flamboyant quirks, tonight’s episode had a very definite and very strong theme and that was the theme of hate. Why do people (and vampires and werewolves) hate and how does it feel to be hated? Can hatred be ended or are we just fated to live our lives in a world that’s dominated by people trying to kill each other for reasons that don’t even seem to be all that apparent to them? At it’s best, True Blood has always served an allegory for the prejudices that have poisoned the past and which refuse to die in the present. That was certainly the case tonight. It was rarely subtle but then again, True Blood rarely is.

That’s kind of why some of us love it.

Where to begin with recapping this episode? Well, let’s start with Sookie. After having her little freakout at the Faerie nightclub, Sookie was subdued by two faeries who, once Sookie regained consciousness, informed her that she has to be careful with her magic powers because, since Sookie is only half-Faerie, she’s running the risk of depleting herself. As the faeries grimly explain to her, if she uses up her magical powers then she’ll no longer be half-faerie. Instead, she’ll just be normal. Sookie can barely disguise just how excited she is by this news.

Later, Sookie goes to the hospital to see Luna, who is still recovering from being shot by rednecks two episodes ago. While there, she talks to Sam and she asks him if he would want to be normal if he had the chance. Sam replies that he doesn’t know and that he really doesn’t have a choice in the matter. Sookie, however, does and she ends the episode lighting up the sky in an effort to deplete her magic.

As for Sam, he’s using his powers to continue to pursue the men who shot him and Luna He manages to catch one of them — who, somewhat predictably, is named Jim Bob — in the hospital.

Jim Bob’s friends, meanwhile, are busy hanging out with their new best friend, Hoyt. Usually, I find an excuse when writing these reviews to refer to Andy as being a dumbass. However, I may have to stop doing that because, as of late, Hoyt is a 100 times more of a dumbass than Andy. Having been “rescued” last week, Hoyt is apparently now a born again redneck and he seems to have little trouble joining up with this hate group and letting them know all about how angry he is at Jessica.

Yeah, Hoyt’s definitely a bigger dumbass than Andy.

But, as tonight’s episode proved, rednecks aren’t the only ones who are capable of hatred. Do you remember how, last week, I theorized that Russell wouldn’t actually kill Roman? Well, I was certainly wrong as tonight’s episode opened with Roman dead and Salome assuming control of the Authority. And, much as I (and a lot of other people) predicted, it was revealed tonight that it was Salome and not Nora who originally dug Russell up in the first place.

As the new head of the Authority, Salome not only releases Nora but also pardons Russell for killing Roman. Once the lone dissenting member of the Authority is killed by Russell, Salome leads the remaining members in drinking the blood of Lilith. Though originally hesitant, Bill and Eric both also drink the blood because, as Eric puts it, it’s just vampire’s blood.

In the very next scene, we find Nora, Salome, Russell, the Rev. Newlin, Eric, and Bill all drunkenly wandering the streets of New Orleans. While Russell and Newlin flirt, the other members of this happy group go out of their way to intimidate humans and announce that the city belongs to them. As if to prove their point, they then crash a party where they proceed to make a bloody (and almost disturbingly graphic) feast out of everyone there. Eventually, so much blood is spilled and so much hatred is released that a very naked Lilith suddenly appears and proceeds to walk over to where Nora is feeding on one unfortunate guest. As Eric, apparently lost in his own daze of a blood lust, watches Lilith and Nora, he suddenly has a vision of his own as Godric appears to remind him that he knows what he’s doing is wrong but, ominously, Nora does not.

(At this point, the show truly earned my review of “Wow.”)

As of tonight’s episode, it certainly appears as if that long-threatened war between humans and vampires is right around the corner…

Random Thoughts And Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 35.
Who do you think the Dragon is? I’m going to make an early guess and say that it’s Buddy Dearborn, if just because I can’t think of any other reason for including that scene where Andy goes to visit him.
I have to admit that I found the scenes where Lafayette attempted to get that spirit exorcised out of him to be almost unbearably disturbing and difficult to watch.
How hot was Alcide while he was training for his fight with J.D?
Though it didn’t do much to move the story forward, my favorite scene tonight was when Arlene was watching her wedding video. It was a sweet moment of calm in a stormy episode and Carrie Preston’s performance as Arlene really sold it.
This entire episode, in fact, was very well-acted. Denis O’Hare was all decadent evil as Russell and Anna Paquin’s scenes where she considers whether or not she wants to be normal were very well done.
As often happens whenever True Blood tackles the most serious of themes, this episode was full of some great one-liners. Here are some of my favorites:
“I don’t know how to make lunch so I made you breakfast instead.”
“Your son doesn’t have a grave because y’all ate him.”
“Hate group is about more than hate.”
While I think the show made the right decision when it came to killing off Roman, I’m still going to miss Chris Meloni’s performance in the role.

Review: True Blood S5E6 — “Hopeless”

Posted on July 15, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS BELOW)

I have to admit that Hopeless is not only the title of the latest episode of True Blood but it’s also the way I felt after watching the first 30 minutes. After last week’s exciting Michael Lehman-directed episode, Hopeless seemed to be moving a bit too slowly for its own good. However, once the show’s second half kicked in, I’m happy to say that the episode picked up the pace and it all ended with one of those wonderful (if, in this case, somewhat predictable) cliffhangers that we’ve all come to expect from True Blood.

At the end of last week’s episode, both Sam and Luna had been gunned down by a bunch of masked rednecks in a pickup truck and Emma had turned into an adorable wolf puppy and gone running into the woods. At the time, I predicted that Sam would live but Luna appeared to be dead. Well, tonight, I discovered that looks can be deceiving because Luna apparently isn’t dead. Now, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want Luna to be dead but, at the same time, considering just how dead Luna looked at the end of last week, it was still somewhat shocking to see her being not only wheeled into the hospital but being totally conscious as well.

Anyway, with Luna recovering in the hospital and Emma having safely made it to her grandmother’s place, Sam volunteers to help Andy track down the masked men who shot them. Andy, at first, is reluctant to accept the help but Sam eventually convinces him and that’s probably a good thing because, as we all know, Andy is kind of a dumbass.

Sam and Andy’s investigation leads them to the same gun shop where, a few episodes earlier, Sookie had gone to purchase some tools to use to try to control the newly vampiric Tara. The same clerk that waited on Sookie is there to talk to Andy and, much like his last appearance, the actor playing the clerk goes totally over-the-top with his performance. Fortunately, he tries to pull a gun on Andy which gives Sam an excuse to shoot him with a crossbow and kill him off before we have to spend any more time listening to him.

As for the masked rednecks themselves, they don’t show up until the very end of the show, at which point they kill a vampire who happens to be draining Hoyt dry. Not realizing that Hoyt was a very willing victim, the rednecks proceed to “rescue” him by tossing him into their van. It was, at this point, that I noticed that one of the rednecks was wearing a Barack Obama mask.

Tonight’s other big plot dealt with — of course — the vampires.

At the end of last week’s episode, Bill, Eric, Alcide, and Sookie had finally found Russell and were preparing to take him in when Alcide was attacked by a werewolf. At the start of tonight’s episode, Alcide managed to rather easily defeat the two wolves and for that, I say “Yay!” because it gave the show an excuse to show us Alcide all shirtless and tough-looking. The Authority showed up at this point and took Russell into custody. Before Eric and Bill were returned to Authority HQ, they were ordered to erase the memories of Sookie and Alcide. While Eric erased Alcide’s memory (and took the time to tell him that he would, from now on, find Sookie physically repulsive), I got the feeling that Bill kinda faked it with Sookie.

(Regardless of whether Bill faked it or not, it took Sookie all of a few hours to not only fully remember everything about Russell and the Asylum but also to restore Alcide’s memory as well.)

Back at Authority HQ, Bill and Eric are hailed as heroes by Roman and the other members of the Commission. While Eric, being Eric, makes little effort to hide his contempt for the whole situation, Bill swears his loyalty to “mainstreaming” and, to be honest, goes a bit overboard while doing so.

Roman announces that he’s going to execute Russell that night and then grants Eric permission to speak with Nora. When Eric goes down to see Nora in her prison cell, Nora reacts to the news of Russell’s impending execution with a joyous smile. It soon becomes apparent why because, right as Roman attempts to administer the true death, Russell suddenly breaks free of his bonds and grabs him. Salome’s little smile as Russell moves in to kill Roman should erase any doubt as to who originally set Russell free.

At first, I assumed that show ended with Russell killing Roman but, as my BFF Evelyn pointed out to me a few minutes ago, we never actually saw Roman die. We saw some blood splattering on Russell and we saw Roman’s face twisting in apparent agony but we didn’t actually see him die. Hopefully, Roman will survive this attack because, seriously, Chris Meloni’s performance has simply been too good and too strong for him to be so easily dispatched.

As for the rest of what happened on tonight episode, Pam broke up Jessica’s fight with Tara and Hoyt was all excited because he thought that meant that Jessica actually did love him. When Jessica let him know that wasn’t the case, Hoyt replied by going out and finding that previously mentioned vampire to suck his blood.

(Seriously, girls, haven’t we all had a Hoyt in our life at some point?)

Meanwhile, Terry returned to Bon Temps and told Arlene that he couldn’t be near her because he’s got that fire spirit chasing after him.

Alcide decided that he wanted to be packmaster, after all.

And, finally, Jason told Sookie about the faerie nightclub and that their parents were killed by a vampire. Afterward, they went to the club themselves and it was there that Hadley not only confirmed Jason’s story but also explained that the vampire killed their parents specifically because it was attracted to the smell of Sookie’s blood.

Needless to say, Sookie didn’t take that news well.

A Few Random Thoughts and Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 38.
Tonight’s episode moved a little bit too slowly for me. As usual, the action picked up during the final 15 minutes and the show ended with a pretty exciting cliffhanger.
Dale Dickey has been one of my favorite character actresses ever since I first saw Winter’s Bone and I’m always happy to see her bring her own distinct brand of Southern gothic to True Blood.
I was going to comment on the fact that Sam seemed to recover from being shot pretty quickly but maybe that has something to do with him being a shifter. That’s my usual excuse whenever something happens on True Blood that doesn’t ring true to me: “Well, they’re all supernatural.”
I’m usually not a huge fan of werewolf politics but I did enjoy it when Alcide and the packmaster had their little redneck confrontation. As always happens whenever I see rough but confident men trying to intimidate each other, my inner country girl squealed a little.
I also have to admit that I laughed out loud at the sight of Roman in his blue polo shirt. There’s just something oddly appropriate about a self-important bully like Roman wearing a polo shirt that is just a tad too small.
I hope that someday some guy says to me, “You’re way too pretty to not be stupid,” just so I can reply, “What’s your excuse?”

Review: True Blood S5E5 — Let’s Boot And Rally

Posted on July 8, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God. Where to begin?

After last week’s vaguely disappointing episode, tonight’s episode of True Blood was a triumphant return to form. Perhaps not coincidentally, it was also the second episode this season to be directed by Michael Lehman. As he did previously with “Authority Always Wins,” Lehman kept tonight’s episode moving quickly and managed to juggle the many subplots and characters with an ease that hasn’t always been present on True Blood in general or this season in particular. Along with bringing out the best in his actors (all of whom found the perfect pitch between comedy and drama in this episode), Lehman knows just how far he can push True Blood’s signature Southern gothic atmosphere before losing focus.

And speaking of tonight’s plot, after a season that has occasionally seemed to be a bit scatter-brained, True Blood’s many subplots finally started to come together tonight.

Let’s start with my Sookie, Eric, and Bill because they’re my favorites. When we last saw Sookie, she was about to get it on with Alcide and I was happily saying, “You go, girl!” because I had just seen Magic Mike a few days earlier. Well, unfortunately, thing didn’t quite work out as Sookie ended up throwing up all over Alcide’s shoes and then, if that weren’t mortifying enough, who should pop up in the bedroom doorway but Eric and Bill? It turns out that Eric and Bill have decided to go back on their “Fuck Sookie” policy and they now ask her to help them track down Russell. Though, by this point, Sookie probably wishes she could just get a night off, she agrees to help. As delivered by Anna Paquin, Sookie’s sarcastic little speech was definitely one of tonight’s highlights.

Accompanied by Alcide, Bill, Eric, and Sookie track down poor old Doug, the fellow who originally discovered that Russell had escaped. Sookie reads Doug’s mind and discovers that Russell was freed by a female member of the Authority. Though Sookie doesn’t see her face, Bill is quick to put the blame on Nora. Using a reluctant Doug as their guide, they track Russell down to a scary, old abandoned asylum. These wonderfully creepy scenes, where they searched for Russell and came across random, blood-drained corpses, represented True Blood at its best.

Eventually, they found Russell laying in bed and, instead of just killing him, Eric started to have a conversation with him. That conversation, however, was interrupted by what sounded like a wolf and Alcide apparently collapsing to the floor…

But that’s not all!

It wouldn’t be a season of True Blood without Sam getting into some sort of weird trouble and tonight was no exception. When last we saw Sam, he arrived late to a get together of his shifter friends and discovered that they had been murdered. On tonight’s episode, after he dealt with the police, Sam went to see Luna. While he talked to Luna, a group of redneck drove up in a pickup truck and gunned both of them down while Emma turned into a dog and ran into the woods. Sam appeared to have survived but, as the episode ended, Luna looked pretty much done for.

Meanwhile, Terry and Sgt. Devins are still up in South Dakota and the start of tonight’s episode found them tied up in the basement of their fellow vet, Bill Eller. Eller explained that, as a result of what they did in Iraq, they’re now being pursued by a fire monster known as an Ifrit. Terry believes Eller and Devins (who, the hotness of Scott Foley aside, is kinda turning out to be a real toadsucker) does not. It doesn’t matter, of course, because — as soon as they convince Eller to set them free, the Ifrit shows up.

As I’ve said before, I haven’t been a big fan of the whole Iraq subplot in the past because it just felt very predictable and obvious. And I have to admit that my fellow TSL contributor Senor Geekus figured out — long before I did — that it was going to be an Ifrit that was setting all those fires. But, I actually liked the direction that they took with it tonight. It’s still a bit too heavy-handed for my tastes but, at the very least, the Ifrit makes for an intimidating threat.

But that’s not all. Tara has a new job as a bartender and, on her first night at work, she unexpectedly bonds with Jessica but that bond soon falls apart when Jessica comes across Tara drinking Hoyt’s blood. Lafayette is still possessed and having to deal with Jesus’s disembodied head suddenly showing up. Jason can’t remember much about what happened at the Faerie “safe house” but he’s now having disturbing dreams about his parents. And Andy? Well, Andy’s still a dumbass…

A Few Random Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 40
Molly, the cheerful girl who works at the Authority headquarters and who called up to tell Eric and Bill that they had been iStaked, is one of my favorite minor characters this season.
How cute was Jason at the start of his little dream tonight?
A definite highlight of tonight’s episode was Jessica and Tara’s conversation at the bar. I loved watching them bond and their discussion about how it feels to suddenly know that you’re different was a good example of how True Blood — at its best — uses vampirism as a metaphor for so many other things.
I have a feeling that Salome is actually the one who rescued Russell. If it was Nora, the show wouldn’t have any reason not to have shown us her face tonight.
No, the picture at the top of this post doesn’t have much to do with tonight’s episode but I just happen to like it.
There were a few good lines tonight but my personal favorite was Sookie’s “I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you’re in a big scary asylum and there’s a crazed killer on the loose.”

Review: True Blood S5E2 — Authority Always Wins

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last week on True Blood…

When last we checked into the lives of the citizens of Bon Temps, Russell (Denis O’Hare) was missing, Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), Bill (Stephen Moyer), and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) had been captured by the Authority, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) was being pursued by the newly vampiric Rev. Newhouse (Michael McMillan), and Tara (Rutina Wesley) had been turned into a vampire by a rather annoyed Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten).

This week on True Blood…

Just judging by last week’s preview of “Authority Always Wins”, you would have been excused for expecting that tonight’s episode would have been totally dominated by Christopher Meloni, playing the role Roman, the head of the Authority. Well, Meloni doesn’t show up until the episode’s final 15 minutes but he totally manages to dominate every one of those 15 minutes. Even looking back on this episode in order to write this review, almost of all of my thoughts are dominated by Meloni’s intimidating and powerful performance.

Before Meloni’s appearance, the majority of the show was made up of scenes of Bill, Eric, and Nora being held prisoner and interrogated in the Authority’s headquarters. Whoever designed the Authority’s headquarters deserves an Emmy for set design next year and director Michael Lehman makes good use of the contrast between the baroque corporate chic of the upper levels and the grim and stark prison in the lower levels.

During one particularly harrowing sequence, both Eric and Bill are interrogated by separate Authority members. Both Bill and Eric are hooked up to machines that look a bit like Jack Kervorkian’s suicide machine and silver is slowly pumped into their veins. Bill’s wonderfully creepy interrogator asks if Bill is familiar with the Vampire Bible and then goes on to explain that, according to the Vampire Bible, God created Lilith first (as a vampire) and Adam and Eve were then created to serve as a food source. As someone who has long loved all the legends that surround the character of Lilith, I loved this little development.

After they are both interrogated, Bill and Eric are eventually brought before the Authority and it’s here that Roman finally makes his appearance. Stalking about with his hulking frame concealed beneath a perfectly tailored suit, Meloni totally owns both the role and the final fourth of this episode. Whether he’s bellowing in rage or coolly slitting open his own wrist without so much as even flinching, Meloni gives a performance in this episode that perfectly captures the aura of power that a character like Roman needs to be believable. I think the main reason why Meloni does so well here is because you look into his penetrating eyes and you see his cold expression and you believe — as you rarely believe with most other actors — that Meloni really could kill someone.

Speaking of killing someone, Roman comes close to killing Bill until Bill explains that Russell isn’t actually dead. Roman agrees to put off administering the true death so that Bill and Eric can track down and kill Russell. Another benefit of Meloni’s domineering performance is that seeing how scared Roman is of Russell serves to remind the viewer that Russell can be pretty intimidating himself.

The episode’s other major plotline dealt with Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) having to deal with the newly turned Tara. Pam, to no one’s great surprise, reacts to Tara’s resurrection by saying, “She’s all yours, kiddoes,” and then running off. Tara ends up spending the night tearing apart Sookie’s house. When she’s asleep during the day, Lafayette — who was the one who first suggested that Pam turn Tara in the first place — comes close to staking her but he’s talked out of it by Sookie. When Tara does wake up, she utters her first words since turning and tells Lafayette and Sookie that she’ll never forgive them. She then disappears into the night.

Speaking of newly-turned vampires, Rev. Newlin is now showing up on TV where, smiling in that creepy way of his, he gives interviews about his new life as a vampire and how he can be both a vampire and a Christian. One interviewer asks Newlin if he has someone in his life and Newlin replies, “Yes. She makes me very happy,” which would seem to indicate that, even in the world of True Blood, it’s more socially acceptable to be openly vampiric than openly gay.

Soon afterward, Newlin is confronting Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and offering $10,000 to buy Jason from her. Jessica refuses and mocks Newlin with, “My dad is king.” Newlin smugly replies, “Not anymore.” This little scene makes me fear that somehow, in another episode or two, Rev. Newlin — who is preaching the same type of co-existence as the Authority — will end up as the new king of Louisiana.

It’s just a feeling I’ve got.

A Few Random Thoughts and Observations:

The power struggle with the werewolves continued to slowly develop in this episode. As I’ve stated before, I’ve never really been that interested in the werewolves but tonight’s episode had some effective black humor concerning the werewolf tradition of eating the previous packmaster. Add to that, Dale Dickey continues to be a brilliant character actress.
Though Luna would probably disagree, didn’t Emma just make the cutest little wolf?
While the show was dominated by Meloni, I have to give some extra praise to Rutina Wesley who did a great job tonight as a feral, newly turned vampire. The scenes where she hatefully and cautiously eyed both Lafayette and Sookie were some of the best in this episode.
Nelsan Ellis, who rarely gets enough credit for his work as Lafayette, also did a notably good job in this episode.
If there was one performance I didn’t care for in this episode, it was the performance of the guy who played the clerk in the gun store. I felt he went a bit over the top in his performance and was trying way too hard to be a redneck. That said, his overacting was nicely balanced by Paquin’s more humorous approach to the material.
While Tara was going crazy, Pam was having flashbacks to her previous life and the first time she met Eric. I have to admit that I’ve reached a point where I’m cynical about flashback scenes on shows that feature vampires. I’m always hoping that there will be at least one vampire who was not a decadent libertine in the 18th and 19th century. That said, I thought that Pam’s scenes were well-handed. If nothing else, Alexander Skarsgard looked good in a top hat.
By the way, how many viewers initially assumed that Eric was responsible for the dead prostitute in Pam’s flashback?
I’m not sure how much I like this whole subplot with Terry having flashbacks to what appears to be an Iraq war atrocity. The whole thing feels rather predictable and, quite frankly, whenever a character on a television show mentions serving in Iraq, you know that he’s going to start having atrocity-flashbacks within a couple of minutes. (It often feels like a cheap shot at the men and women who served in an unpopular war.) Hopefully, showrunner Alan Ball will do something unexpected with this subplot and prove my doubts wrong. That said, Todd Lowe’s sleep-walking scene was a definite highlight.
Finally, a correction. Last week, there were a lot of people (including, I’m sad to say, me) who went, “Ewwwwww!” as soon as Eric started making out with his “sister” Nora. As my BFF and fellow True Blood lover Evelyn explained to me later, Nora and Eric are not blood related. Really, it should have been obvious from Nora’s English accent.

If only for the introduction of Christopher Meloni as Roman, this was a good episode. If nothing else, it left us with no doubt that the Authority always wins.

My 2012 Emmy Nominations

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, for the past few days, I’ve been happily hopping around my section of the Shattered Lens Bunker and do you know why?

Because it’s awards season, that’s why! With the conclusion of the 2011-2012 TV season, Emmy ballots have been mailed and votes are being cast and, come July, we’ll know which shows and performers have been nominated for the 2012 Emmys.

Before that happens, however, I would like to play a little game called “What if Lisa Was Solely Responsible For Picking the Nominees.” Here’s how it works — I looked over and studied the complete list of the shows and performances that have been submitted this year for Emmy consideration. And then, from that list, I picked my personal nominees.

(A complete list of every show and performer that’s been submitted for Emmy consideration can be found here.)

Below are my personal nominations in the major Emmy categories. Again, note that these are not necessarily the shows and performers that I believe will be nominated. Instead, these are the shows and performers that I would nominate if I was solely responsible for picking the nominees.

A complete list of my nominations in every single Emmy category can be found here. (And yes, there’s a lot of Lifetime on the list. There’s also a lot of Community.)

Best Comedy Series

Bored to Death (HBO)

Community (NBC)

Girls (HBO)

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX)

Parks and Recreation (NBC)

Raising Hope (Fox)

Veep (HBO)

Best Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Breaking Bad (AMC)

The Client List (Lifetime)

Downton Abbey (PBS)

Game of Thrones (HBO)

Homeland (Showtime)

Pan Am (ABC)

Ringer (The CW)

True Blood (HBO)

The Walking Dead (AMC)

Outstanding Miniseries or Movie

Blue-Eyed Butcher (Lifetime)

Cyberbully (ABC Family)

Drew Peterson: Untouchable (Lifetime)

Five (Lifetime)

Girl Fight (Lifetime)

Hatfields & McCoys (History Channel)

The Hour (BBC America)

Of Two Minds (Lifetime)

Outstanding Variety Series

Conan (TBS)

Fashion Police (E)

Key and Peele (Comedy Central)

The Soup (E)

Tosh .O (Comedy Central)

Outstanding Variety Special

Betty White’s 90th Birthday Party (NBC)

Celtic Women: Believe (PBS)

The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen (Comedy Central)

TV Land Awards (TV Land)

Wendy Liebman: Taller on TV (Showtime)

Outstanding Nonfiction Special

Bobby Fischer Against The World (HBO)

Catholicism: Amazed and Afraid (PBS)

Crime After Crime (OWN)

God Is The Bigger Elvis (HBO)

6 Days To Air: The Making of South Park (Comedy Central)

Outstanding Nonfiction Series

America in Primetime (PBS)

American Masters (PBS)

America’s Most Wanted (Lifetime)

Beyond Scared Straight (A&E)

Inside Story (Biography)

Outstanding Reality Program

Antiques Roadshow (PBS)

Dance Moms (Lifetime)

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox)

Scouted (E)

Storage Wars (A&E)

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program

The Amazing Race (CBS)

The Bachelor (ABC)

Big Brother (CBS)

The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox)

Project Runway (Lifetime)

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)

Survivor (CBS)

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)

Johnny Galecki in The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Danny McBride in Eastbound and Down (HBO)

Joel McHale in Community (NBC)

Lucas Neff in Raising Hope (Fox)

Jason Schwartzman in Bored To Death (HBO)

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama

Steve Buscemi in Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad (AMC)

Jeffrey Donavon in Burn Notice (USA)

Damian Lewis in Homeland (Showtime)

Andrew Lincoln in The Walking Dead (AMC)

Timothy Olyphant in Justified (FX)

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries or Movie

Idris Elba in Luther (BBC America)

Rob Lowe in Drew Peterson: Untouchable (Lifetime)

Steven Weber in Duke (Hallmark Movie Channel)

Dominic West in The Hour (BBC America)

Ben Whishaw in The Hour (BBC America)

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy

Zooey Deschanel in New Girl (Fox)

Lena Dunham in Girls (HBO)

Tina Fey in 30 Rock (NBC)

Julia Louis Dreyfuss in Veep (HBO)

Mary-Louis Parker in Weeds (Showtime)

Martha Plimpton in Raising Hope (Fox)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama

Claire Danes in Homeland (Showtime)

Sarah Michelle Gellar in Ringer (The CW)

Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Client List (Lifetime)

Julianna Margulies in The Good Wife (CBS)

Elizabeth McGovern in Downton Abbey (PBS)

Anna Paquin in True Blood (HBO)

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries or Movie

Kristin Davis in Of Two Minds (Lifetime)

Anne Heche in Girl Fight (Lifetime)

Rose McGowan in The Pastor’s Wife (Lifetime)

Emily Osment in Cyberbully (ABC Family)

Sara Paxton in Blue Eyed Butcher (Lifetime)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Charlie Day in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)

Danny DeVito in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX)

Donald Glover in Community (NBC)

Nick Offerman in Parks and Recreation (NBC)

Danny Pudi in Community (NBC)

Matt Walsh in Veep (HBO)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama

Bruce Campbell in Burn Notice (USA)

Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones (HBO)

Giancarlo Espositto in Breaking Bad (AMC)

Michael Pitt in Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Michael Shannon in Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Alexander Skarsgard in True Blood (HBO)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries or Movie

Powers Boothe in Hatfields and McCoys (History Channel)

Justin Bruening in Blue-Eyed Butcher (Lifetime)

Mark-Paul Gosselaar in Hide (TNT)

Sir Roger Moore in A Princess For Christmas (Hallmark Movie Channel)

Tony Shalhoub in Five (Lifetime)

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy

Alison Brie in Community (NBC)

Kristen Chenoweth in GCB (ABC)

Anna Chlumsky in Veep (HBO)

Gillian Jacobs in Community (NBC)

Cloris Leachman in Raising Hope (Fox)

Aubrey Plaza in Parks and Recreation (NBC)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in Drama

Christine Baranski in The Good Wife (CBS)

Kristen Bauer Von Straten in True Blood (HBO)

Kelly MacDonald in Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Christina Ricci in Pan Am (ABC)

Sophia Turner in Game of Thrones (HBO)

Deborah Ann Woll in True Blood (HBO)

Supporting Actress In A Miniseries or Movie

Tammy Blanchard in Of Two Minds (Lifetime)

Kaley Cuoco in Drew Peterson: Untouchable (Lifetime)

Lisa Edelstein in Blue-Eyed Butcher (Lifetime)

Jessica Lange in American Horror Story (FX)

Jena Malone in Hatfields and McCoy (History Channel)

Review: True Blood (S5E1 — Turn! Turn! Turn!)

Posted on June 10, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Possible Spoilers Below)

Before I start my review of the premiere episode of the 5th season of True Blood, I should offer up a confession. I’ve enjoyed watching True Blood for a while now. I think Alexander Skarsgard is to die for, I think Anna Paquin’s an underrated actress, and I think that Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Jason (Ryan Kwanten) are a cute couple. I thought last season was brilliant and I thought that the finale especially was exciting and well-done.

That said, I’m hardly a True Blood expert and I’m not going to pretend that I am one. Like a lot of this show’s fans, I wasn’t there when the show first started. By the time I saw my first episode, True Blood was already into season 2 and I didn’t become a regular viewer until season 3. Since then, I’ve worked to get caught up on show’s first seasons but I’m hardly an expert. (Incidentally, I haven’t read the books either.) I’m a fan and that’s the approach that I’ll be bringing to my reviews this season.

Anyway, tonight’s episode starts right where season 4 ended: Tara (Rutina Wesley) is bleeding to death on the floor of Sookie’s (Anna Paquin) kitchen, as the result of being shot in the face by Debbie who was then shot and killed by Sookie. Lafayette (Nelson Ellis), who is still mourning his dead lover, comes downstairs and discovers the mess. Suddenly, Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten, who is hilariously scornful of everyone and everything in this episode) shows up searching for Eric. Lafayette asks Pam to turn Tara into a vampire. Pam is, at first, reluctant until Sookie says she’ll “owe you one” in return. I imagine that promise is something we’ll being hearing about a lot for the rest of this season. By the end of the episode, it appears that Tara has returned as a vampire and I get the feeling that she might not be too happy about that.

Speaking of new vampires, the thoroughly creepy Rev. Newlin (Michael McMillan) is back, he’s now a vampire, and he’s’ apparently in love with Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten). After he manages to trick Jason into letting him enter his house, Newlin explains: “I’m a gay vampire American…” Newlin explains this while he just happens to have Jason tied to a chair. The scene between Newlin and Jason were probably the most obviously politically-charged sequence in tonight’s episode, with Newlin seemingly standing in for such real-life homophobic bigots as Rev. Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church. Anyway, Newlin is chased off by Jessica who shows up to announce that “Jason is mine!”

So are Jessica and Jason back together all official-like now? Not quite. Jason later tracks Jessica down to an incredibly tacky frat party where Jessica explains to him that she just said that to scare off the Rev. Newlin. The whole party sequence was actually my favorite part of this episode. I loved the reminder that not everyone in Bon Temps is obsessed with the supernatural. Some people just want to drink beer and sing karaoke. Deborah Ann Woll, in particular, gave a good performance here and it was obvious that both she and the character she plays loved vamping it up.

But what about Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Bill (Stephen Moyer)? When last we saw, they were killing Nan (Jessica Tuck) and getting told off by Sookie. Tonight’s episode found Eric scrubbing away Nan’s remains while Bill called Jessica and told her that he would be going away for a few weeks. They detect the danger at Sookie’s house but Eric coldly dismisses it with, “Fuck Sookie.” Bill disagrees but even as they run out of the house, they are captured by the Authority. Fortunately, Eric’s sister Nora (Lucy Griffiths) works for the Authority and she rescues both of them. She and Eric then proceed to spend most of the rest of the episode having sex and uhmmm…Eric, that’s your sister. Eric tells Bill, “We fight like siblings but we fuck like champions.” Ewwwww.

Now, it’s a testament to the charisma and body of Alexander Skarsgard that, even when committing very graphic incest, he’s still the hottest thing ever to show up on HBO.

Anyway, Eric, Bill, and Nora meet up with some rebel vampires and are given false identities and appear to be on the verge of escaping when suddenly, the Authority’s goons show up and recapture them. I assume this is setting everything up for Chris Meloni to show up in the next episode.

But that’s not all that happened tonight! One of the things that I love about True Blood is that it’s never shied away from offering up as many plot complications as possible per episode. This is not a show that moves slowly and that was certainly true tonight.

It turns out that season 3’s main villain Russell (Denis O’Hare) isn’t dead and he’s not where he’s supposed to be. Meanwhile, Scott Foley is wandering around town acting enigmatic, Andy (Chris Bauer) is still proving himself to be a dumbass in general, and apparently there’s some sort of power struggle developing with the werewolves.

A Few Random Observations:

I have to admit, I’ve never been that interested in the werewolves. They’re just not as much fun as the vampires. That’s one of the few things that True Blood has in common with the Twilight series.
Best line of the episode comes from Pam: “I’m wearing a Wal-Mart sweatsuit for you all. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit, I don’t know what is.” My twitter timeline literally exploded with people reacting to that line.
My second favorite line was Alcide’s “It smells clean. Like lemons on top of ammonia on top of bleach.”
If you’re like me and you mostly watch this show because you’re hoping for a chance to catch Alexander Skarsgard undressed, this episode did not disappoint.
This was a good episode for your Jessica lovers as well. One of my favorite parts of tonight’s episode was when she dismissed the Rev. Newlin by explaining that she’s older than him.
Chris Bauer continues to play the most realistic lawman on television.
As much as I love Alexander Skarsgard, Stephen Moyer had some great scenes tonight. His facial expressions while watching Nora and Eric were priceless.
I felt bad for Sookie during her little flashback scene.
The return of True Blood means a return of my effots to get my sister to allow me to dye her hair “Pacquin blonde.”
I hope Nora’s around for the rest of the season. Incest aside, she’s a great character and Lucy Griffiths gave a great performance tonight.
I was hoping that Russell would physically show up on tonight’s episode but I’m actually kind of glad that he didn’t. With everything else that was going on tonight, I’m glad that I have something to look forward to in the future.
Another thing I’m looking forward to: Chris Meloni as Roman. If anyone was born to play a vampire named Roman, it’s Chris Meloni.

So, over all, I think tonight’s episode was a good start for season 5 and I look forward to spending another 11 episodes in Bon Temps.

Trailer: True Blood Season 5

Posted on May 15, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With the end of the 2nd season of the Walking Dead and Game of Thrones entering the final half of its sophomore season, I am now impatiently waiting for the return of True Blood (or as my Aunt Kate refers to it, “that show with all the naked people”).

In order to make me even more impatient (as if that’s actually possible), HBO has released this trailer for the 5th season of True Blood.

The show with all the naked people will return on June 10th.

10 Reasons Why I Hated Season 8 Of The Office

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Note: This post originally appeared on my new TV-related blog, What Is Lisa Marie Watching Tonight?)

This has been a truly depressing television season for me and it all comes down to one show. For seven season, I loved the Office. Even when it wasn’t at it best, it was still the show that I based my Thursday nights around. And yet, as I watched the finale of eighth season of The Office last night, I breathed a sigh of relief once it was finally over. Why? Because season 8 was not only the worst season of the Office so far but it was also one of the worst seasons of television that I’ve ever sat through.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew that this season of The Office (the first without Steve Carell’s iconic Michael Scott) would be a rough one. However, nothing could have prepared me for just how bad season 8 would become. Looking back over season 8, it’s a struggle to remember one memorable line or moment that made me laugh out loud. Instead, most of my memories center around being annoyed that the show that I loved could have possibly become so …. bad.

In the future, I’m going to write a post detailing how I would have handled the first post-Carell season of The Office. But before I write that post up, I want to take a few moments to highlight 10 reasons why I hated season 8 of the Office.

(And, believe me, it wasn’t easy to narrow it down to just ten…)

1) Andy Bernard

I have to admit that my heart sank a little bit when, during the Season 8 premiere, it was revealed that the show would now center around the character of Andy Bernard. Even before Steve Carell left the show, I always dreaded any episode that revolved around Andy. Andy, who started out as such a perfectly annoying villain in season 3, had developed into a rather pathetic and needy character and Andy-centric episodes were usually the weakest of their respective seasons. It didn’t help that Ed Helms — who is a great character actor — has a tendency to go overboard whenever cast in a lead role.

So, I knew from the start of the season that I wouldn’t be totally happy with Andy Bernard as manager but I had no way of guessing just how much I would eventually come to despise the character. Whether he was weakly pursuing Erin or cruelly dumping his previous girlfriend twice in one day or failing to sue Robert California for giving his job away to Nellie, Andy proved himself to be just as stupid as Michael Scott but also a hundred times more pathetic. It was impossible to root for Andy because so many of his problems were of his own creation. As needy as Andy was as a character, Ed Helms was just as needy as a performer and every time he showed up on-screen, I felt like he was begging me to love him as opposed to giving me a reason to do so. It didn’t help that the show’s writers devoted three or four episodes to having everyone in the Office basically spend half an hour tellings us that Andy was a great manager and we really should love him.

At the end of last night’s finale, Andy — after being unemployed for the last few episodes — got his job back in the least plausible way imaginable. Instead of firing Nellie, he gave her a new job and then he flashed that big, toothy grin of his.

Fortunately, for the first time during season 8, he resisted the temptation to break out into song.

2) Nellie

Nellie showed up during the second half of the season and essentially appointed herself as the new manager of the office. It was a plot development that made no sense and it was hard not to feel like the show’s producers were trying to force the audience to love Tate as much as they did.

Yes, the writers of The Office love Catherine Tate and maybe the audience would love her to if Nellie, the character she was playing, had any real reason for existing beyond the fact that the writers wanted to work with Catherine Tate.

Since Tate had no real reason to be on the show, it was hard not to resent the amount of screentime that was devoted to her. It’s also hard to look forward to the fact that it appears that she’ll be an even more prominent character during season 9.

3) Robert California

At the start of Season 8, we were informed that Robert California (played by James Spader) had somehow managed to talk his way into being named CEO of Sabre. We were told that he was a mysterious, charismatic figure who might be a genius.

Instead, he turned out to be just another inconsistent character whose personality changed from episode to episode until finally, he was revealed to be so pathetic that he couldn’t even handle Nellie declaring herself to be the new regional manager. In his first few appearances, James Spader brought his trademark quirkiness to the role but then, once it became apparent that show’s writers couldn’t be bothered to figure out who Robert California actually was, Spader pretty much gave up on giving a performance. Instead, he just became a name actor getting paid a lot of money to do not much of anything.

And yet the writers still insisted on trying to convince us that Robert California was an interesting character. The first half of the season was largely devoted to the character. We went to his mansion, we met his soon-to-be ex-wife, and we continually found ourselves wondering why the CEO of a Florida-based corporation was spending all of his time in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Robert California (and James Spader) will not be back for Season 9. In the final episode, Robert California announced that his latest business venture would involve young women from Eastern Europe. It was an unfunny end to an unfunny character.

4) Kevin and Erin: Just How Dumb Are They?

This has been an issue for a while but it really became obvious (and annoying) as things got more and more cartoonish during Season 8. Erin and Kevin both seem to be stupid when the plot calls for it and just dumb when the plot doesn’t. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem if not for the fact that there’s no logic to their occasional stupidity. It’s never been firmly established just how stupid either one of them is and, as a result, their inability to understand the simplest of things feels more like lazy writing than anything else.

With Erin, this is an issue because this season was largely built around Andy pursuing her. For a plot like that to be effective, you have to care about the characters and to care about the characters, you have to see some sort of vague reality in them even when they’re threatening to go over the top.

As for Kevin — well, where to begin? Remember how, in the earlier seasons, Kevin seemed like he actually had the most active life out of the office of any of the people working there? He would show up with a jaunty little hat on his head and he would drop hints about being addicted to gambling. He was even the drummer in not one but two cover bands!

Now, he’s just another moron in the corner.

5) Angela and the Senator

Yes, we get it. The senator’s gay. It was funny the first four times that various characters went, “The senator’s gay!” but now, it just feels like a lazy punchline.

Wouldn’t it have been fun to see Angela and the Senator’s wedding? Seriously, this is a show that had a tradition of funny wedding episodes but, when given the perfect opputunity, the show’s writers ignored a chance to showcase one of the strongest members of the original supporting cast. Instead, Angela (and so many others) were just pushed off to the side so that we could spend more time with Robert California.

6) What Does Jim Have To Smirk About?

Seriously, the man’s stuck in a rut.

7) When Did Pam Give Up On Being An Artist?

Whenever I watch reruns of The Office, I’m surprised by how much I relate to Pam. That’s mostly because the Pam of the first few seasons seems to have very little in common with the Pam of the 7th and 8th seasons. Do you remember when Pam was an artist and, even more importantly, do you remember how great it was to watch as she finally started standing up for herself and following her dream during the first four seasons?

As I watched this last season, I thought about that wonderfully sweet scene from seasons past when Jim showed Pam the “artist’s studio” that he had set up in the garage. And I wondered if that art studio was still sitting in the garage, untouched since Pam has apparently decided to give up on her dreams and just spend all of her time obsessing on the people that she works with.

8) What do Ryan and Gabe do all day?

Like seriously.

9) Val (and others)

Seriously, what was the point of Val’s character this season? If you’ve watched the entire season, do you know anything about Val beyond the fact that Darryl developed a crush on her? I didn’t even catch that her name was Val until around her fifth appearance. Obviously, the show’s writers expected us to take some sort of emotional stake in Darryl’s attempts to woo her but they never bothered to figure out just who exactly Val was meant to be.

The same can be said, of course, of just about every new character on The Office this season. Can you remember the name of the woman who Andy dumped so he could (finally) be with Erin? How about Cathy, the girl who, out of nowhere, tried to seduce Jim and then mysteriously vanished from the show?

Admittedly, this problem didn’t start with season 8. Starting back in season 5, the Office developed a bad habit of carefully introducing and then randomly abandoning characters and plotlines. (Remember Danny, the superhot traveling salesman played by Timothy Olyphant?) However, it’s never bothered me in the past quite as much as it did during season 8. Past seasons at least had someone there to anchor the show even when the writers seemed to get distracted.

And that leads me to the tenth reason why I hated season 8 of The Office…

10) No Michael Scott

That, I think, pretty much says it all.

Ten Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw on TV in 2011

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network. I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference. What’s the Lisa Marie difference? Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. El. Oh. El.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2011 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year:

1) The Goodbye, Michael episode of The Office:

So, this year, I’ve been kind of depressed because my former favorite show of all time — The Office — has been just awful! Seriously, don’t even get me started on why it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever that Jim Halpert would have recommended that Andy Bernard be put in charge of the office. Don’t get me started on how the show is now wasting some of the brightest comic talents available. And certainly, don’t ask me what I think about this newest subplot where Darryl is somehow suddenly incapable of talking to the new girl in the Warehouse. Seriously, I want to cry every Thursday night because when I watch The Office, it’s like looking in the mirror and finding a new wrinkle. However, The Office did have one genuinely great episode this year and that was, fittingly enough, Steve Carell’s final episode. “Goodbye, Michael” was a reminder of what made people like me fall in love with The Office in the first place and, as much as I hate to say it, it would have made a perfect finale for the entire series.

2) Sophia Shows Up On The Walking Dead..

…and Rick does what he has to do.

3) Nedd Stark loses his head in Game of Thrones.

Much as Sophia had to ultimately be in that barn, Nedd had to lose his head.

4) The Pouting Little Princess at the Royal Wedding

All together now: “Awwwwwwwww!” Actually, that would have been me if I was a member of the Royal Family.

5) Joel McHale as host of The Soup.

Seriously, Chris Hardwicke is cute in a funny, nerdy sorta way and Daniel Tosh is like the frat boy that you turn to when you’re drunk and depressed but Joel McHale is still the best.

6) South Park goes there…

…again.

7) The broadview security commercial featuring A.J. the homicidal lunatic

Okay, so this is actually about 2 or 3 years old and I don’t think I actually saw this on TV during 2011 but I don’t care. I love this commercial and A.J. is freaking hot! Plus, I love how everyone’s all like, “Who’s that?” and she’s all like, “I don’t know, just some random guy who showed up in my house…heh heh heh.” All together now: “A.J? A.J?”

8 ) Homeland

With Dexter giving us a truly awful season this time around, Homeland was the best modern-day drama on television. Claire Danes deserves every award there is for her performance.

9) The Amazing Race

Hands down, the best reality show on television.

10) Community

Dear NBC, if you fail to bring back Community, we’re done. I will leave you, I will cut you out of my life, and I hope you’ll be very happy with Whitney Cummings.