Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/10/24 — 11/16/24

Posted on November 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I got caught up with a few shows this week. Here’s my thoughts on what I watched.

Accused (Tuesday Night, Fox)

I watched the three most recent episodes of Accused this week. The road rage episode had its good moments and it kept my guessing, though I would have appreciated a bit more of a twist at the end. The episode with Nick Cannon was so bad that it felt like a parody of woke programming. (It’s kind of funny how everyone apparently just agreed to forget about Cannon’s history of making anti-Semitic statements.) The episode with Michael Chiklis as the wrestling coach was much better, though I kept expecting the coach to reveal that he was actually the wrestler’s father. That would have been a neat twist.

Accused is an uneven show but it’s pretty interesting when it works. And when it doesn’t work, it’s interesting in an entirely different way.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (Tuesday Night, FX)

As I’ve said before, this miniseries started out strong but, as so often happens with these Ryan Murphy-produced true crime things, it went downhill quickly. The final episode was perhaps the worst of the series, if just because it tried to turn Hernandez into some sort of victim. I have no doubt CTE played some role in his actions but so what? In the end, at least one man is dead because of Aaron Hernandez. Ask Odin Lloyd’s family if they care about Aaron Hernandez’s struggle to adjust to living in prison. I don’t care if he felt uncomfortable with his sexuality. I don’t care if he was put under tremendous pressure by his coaches. I don’t care if he was molested when he was a child. Aaron Hernandez made his decisions and he suffered the consequences and the last thing he deserves is sympathy.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out! will be posting shortly.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here. I had a bit of panic when I read the Freevee was shutting down, as I’ve still got many episodes of CHiPs to review and watch. I’ve been told, however, the shows on Freevee will also be “free” on Prime. We’ll see! I’m nor sure that I would want to pay money just for the chance to watch Erik Estrada.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my latest review of Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

My heart broke for Anthony this week! I took some comfort that Chef Ramsay seemed to be just as said as I was to watch Anthony go. I was glad Anthony was allowed to keep his jacket.

Highway to Heaven (Hulu)

I reviewed Highway to Heaven here!

Inmate To Roommate (Hulu)

Earlier this year, I enjoyed what I saw of the second season of this A&E show. (When my Dad had his accident, I stopped watching Inmate to Roommate because taking care of my Dad took priority over any television show.) This week, I decided to watch the first season of the show on Hulu. The first season felt a bit more staged than the second season. If the second season had a raw authenticity to it, the first season was marred by too many scenes that were obviously just done for the cameras. Still, I appreciate any show that encourages people to give ex-convicts a chance to prove themselves.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson (Netflix)

I watched a little of this with Jeff on Friday night. I was pretty bored with it but at least it was filmed in Texas. That said, due to my obligations as the hostess of #FridayNightFlix, I stopped watching before either Jake or Tyson left their dressing rooms. Jeff wrote about the fight here and here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed The Love Boat here1

Malibu CA (YouTube)

For my sins, I reviewed Malibu, CA here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I reviewed Monsters here!

Rockin’ Ronny (Night Flight Plus)

This special originally aired in 1986. It featured a collection of clips from Ronald Reagan’s movies, mixed in with footage of him as president. Obviously, the show was meant to poke fun at and be critical of Reagan but it didn’t really work. Rather than coming across as being any of the bad things that this special seemed to be trying to suggest that he was, Ronald Reagan just came across as being a likable old man. Certainly, he seemed more presidential than any of the folks we’ve recently elected here.

Say Nothing (Hulu)

I am about halfway through this new miniseries about The Troubles in Northern Ireland. So far, it’s been a powerful few hours. I’ll share more of my thoughts after I’ve watched the remaining episodes.

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

I can’t believe I’m paying money for this show. You can read my latest review here!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.5 “Country Blues/Daddy’s Little Girl/Jackpot”

Posted on November 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher almost gets rich!

Episode 5.5 “Country Blues/Daddy’s Little Girl/Jackpot”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on October 31st, 1981)

I have to admit that I groaned a bit when I saw that Florence Henderson was going to be one of the passengers on this week’s cruise. I still haven’t quite recovered from the trauma of reviewing The Brady Bunch Variety Hour and, whenever Florence Henderson showed up on any of these shows, she always had to sing a song. Florence wasn’t a bad singer but she wasn’t a particularly interesting one either. I remember that she always seemed like she was trying too hard to be Barbra Streisand whenever she performed a song of the Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Her version of Broadway and easy listening was always adequate without being very memorable.

And, on this cruise, Florence does sing. She’s playing Annabelle Folker, a country singer who is hired to provide entertainment for the cruise. She sing a few country songs and speaks with a thick (and not very convincing) country accent. Annabelle is happy to discover that her childhood friend, Martin Correll (James Noble), is on the cruise with his uptight girlfriend and campaign manager, Barbara (Carol Lawrence). Martin — or Blinky as Annabelle calls him — is thrilled to be reunited with Annabelle. Barbara is less enthused and she eventually tells Annabelle that, if Martin is ever going to be a success in politics, he can’t spend all of his time with a country singer who says whatever pops into her head. What’s weird is that Annabelle decides that Barbara is right. She and Martin aren’t meant for each other. Martin is too much of a career politician. In the end, Martin leaves with Barbara and Annabelle leaves alone. It was a weird story. Annabelle came across like a stalker but Barbara wasn’t particularly sympathetic either. Martin was just kind of wimpy.

Meanwhile, Marcy Crane (Randi Oakes) boards the boat with her father, Richard Simmons (Mason Adams). Marcy’s just gotten a divorce and Richard is very protective of her. At first, he’s concerned when she meets Dr. Jonathan Hunt (Frank Bonner), a veterinarian. Once Marcy explains that she’s not going to rush into another relationship and she’s just looking for casual sex, her father gives the couple his blessing. This was an oddly inconsequential story.

Finally, Gopher finds a bag that’s full of money! After he counts the money, he discovers that he is now $47,612 richer! (Adjusted for inflation, that’s the equivalent of $130,000 today.) Or, at least, that’ll be the case if Gopher keeps the money. But Gopher’s a good man at heart so, ultimately, he tells Captain Stubing about the money. Stubing says that money will be Gopher’s if no one claims it at the end of the cruise. And indeed, it turns out that the money was not lost by any of the current passengers. Gopher’s happy until he spots a little old woman crying on the dock in Los Angeles. She says that she took a cruise two weeks ago and lost a bag with her life’s savings. Gopher gives her the money. Awwwww!

This was a sweet story and it was kind of nice to see Gopher get a plotline. Fred Grandy was a likable actor and I always like the episodes where Gopher reveals that he’s actually got a good heart underneath his goofy exterior. This story did feature one rather silly fantasy sequence, in which Gopher imagined riding in a limousine with Stubing as his chauffeur, Julie as his wife, and Viki as a little beggar child. It was kind of a weird fantasy, to be honest.

One good story out of three does not make for a great cruise. I enjoyed Gopher’s plotline but the other two stories alternated between being dull and annoying. This was not a great cruise.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/3/24 — 11/9/24

Posted on November 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2024 U.S. Presidential Election Coverage (Tuesday and Wednesday)

On Tuesday, I swore to myself that I was going to vote and then we were going to go up to the lake and my plan was to basically stay off the grid until Friday. I wasn’t even going to think about the election. That did not last. As much as I tried to avoid the news, I still saw a few updates on twitter and soon, I was switching back and forth from Fox to CNN to MSNBC and then to all the other news stations.

To be honest, I kind of suspected Donald Trump was going to win after Kamala Harris picked Tim Walz for her vice president. The week leading up the election, however, I started to think that Harris was probably going to win. I started remembering how 2022 seemed like it was going to be a big year for Republicans, just for the Red Wave to fizzle on election night. I thought about how polls have never accurately reflected either Trump’s support or how Dobbs turned a lot of people into one-issue voters. I thought Harris would sweep Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin and win the election. It turns out that I was wrong about most of that!

This was the third presidential election in a row where I swore to myself that I wouldn’t think about it after I voted, just to later find myself then obsessively watching as the results came in.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (FX, Tuesday Night)

The ninth episode focused on how the women who knew Aaron Hernandez dealt with him being arrest for murder. And to that, I can only say, “Who cares?” After nine hours of this show, the only lesson that I’ve learned is that Aaron Hernandez was a tremendous dumbass and the same can be said of the majority of the people around him.

I was super-excited because I thought this week’s episode was the series’ finale. It turns out that there’s one more episode to go. Next week, this show will finally wrap up and I won’t have to complain about it anymore.

Bar Rescue (Paramount, Weekday Mornings)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer turned a failing Irish bar into a failing western saloon. It wasn’t as much fun as the Pirate Bar episode.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode of Check It Out! will be posted in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (YouTube)

On Tuesday, I took a break from the election coverage and rewatched my two favorite episodes of Dragnet, the talk show episode and the night school episode.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Good Times (Get TV, Weekday Afternoons)

I watched two episodes of this 70s sitcom on Monday afternoon. Carl, a grumpy old man, discovered that he had cancer and he left Chicago for Arizona so that he could deal with it. The most memorable moment of the two episodes came when Carl told Florida that he felt they should break up. “Oh my God!” someone in the studio audience shouted.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

Just as happened last week, the Blue Team triumphed and the Red Team crashed and burned. I’m enjoying this season. I like the fact that they’re all strong chefs. At this point, I feel like anyone could win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

I wrote about Homicide here!

King of the Hill (FXX, Weekday Morning)

Before I left to vote on Tuesday, I watched four episodes of King of the Hill. What a great show, that was. To be honest, the fact that King of the Hill was canceled but Family Guy is still in production is all the evidence you need about the decline of American culture. As for the episodes I watched, my favorite was the one where Luanne became a boxer and George Foreman appeared as himself. “Novelty grill!?”

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I watched The Love Boat on Tuesday night, while sitting outside on the deck of my family’s lakehouse. That’s the best way to watch anything! I wrote about The Love Boat here.

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I wrote about Malibu, CA here!

The Megyn Kelly Show (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched the post-election episode of the Megyn Kelly Show. Whether you love her, hate her, or if you’re indifferent to her (as I often am), it was hard not to agree with her post-mortem on the election and the Harris campaign.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode of this old 80s music video program on Friday night. The music was good.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I can’t believe I paid money to watch this episode. You can read my review here.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.4 “The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim”

Posted on November 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, The Love Boat sets sail without a laugh track and things get awkward.

Episode 5.4 “The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim”

(Dir by Howard Morris, originally aired on October 24th, 1981)

Julie has hired a new entertainer for this cruise. His name is Hank Austin (Brian Kerwin) and he’s a teacher-by-day and a dancer-by-night. Julie has never actually seen Hank perform but Hank’s agent assured Julie that he’s amazing. How will Julie (and Captain Stubing) react when Hank turns out to be a …. STRIPPER!?

Even more importantly, how will the head of Hank’s PTA react? Shelley (Christopher Norris) is also a passenger on the boat and she and Hank take an immediate liking to each other. Fortunately, for Hank, Shelley does not see his performance but afterwards, she tells Hank that she’s heard a lot of people talking about how there’s a male stripper on the ship. Hank laughs it off. But then Julie walks up to Shelley and starts to complain about Hank’s act, which is seriously immature of her. I mean, Julie doesn’t even know Shelley but Julie still acts like she’s morally offended that Shelley would associate with someone with whom Julie is upset. It’s seriously out-of-character for Julie and it made me wonder if maybe Julie picked up some coke when the ship was docked at Acapulco.

Don’t worry, though. Julie eventually apologizes for lashing out and Shelley and Hank leave the ship together. From now on, the only stripping that Hank will be doing will be at PTA meetings.

Things also work out for Frank Dalton (Flip Wilson). Frank boards the ship and tells Isaac that he changed Frank’s life. Isaac has no idea who Frank is. Frank explains that he took the same cruise last year. He had a fight with his wife and went into the Pirate’s Cove for a drink. Frank told Isaac his problems. Isaac told him that sometimes, a man just has to put his foot down. Frank took Isaac’s advice and, as a result, his wife left him. Now, Frank is single and suicidal. Isaac tries to set Frank up with some other passengers. When that doesn’t work, Isaac calls Frank’s ex-wife and convinces her to board the boat in Acapulco and take him back. Frank and Janet (Marla Gibbs) are reunited. Good work, Isaac!

Finally, a jewel thief named Jim Pickett (Michael Zaslow) boards the boat. He just wants to steal a valuable necklace but instead, he ends up falling in love with Lilia Chandler (Joan Van Ark). When Jim does steal a necklace from Mrs. Landers (Henny Backus), he gives it to Lila. However, when it looks like Jim’s going to get caught by the Captain, Lila gives the necklace back to Mrs. Landers. It turns out that Lila is a jewel thief as well! She was going to let Jim steal the necklace for her but then she fell in love with him. The two reformed thieves leave the ship as a couple.

This was a weird episode because there was no laugh track. There was several moments where it was obvious that a laugh track was meant to be heard but instead of canned laughter, there was only dead air. It made the entire episode feel a bit awkward. Laugh tracks are definitely dork and corny but then again, so is The Love Boat. If anything, The Love Boat is one of the rare shows that benefitted from having a laugh track. It’s absence made the entire cruise feel weird.

As for the guest stars and their stories, I liked Michael Zaslow and Joan Van Ark. They had an enjoyable chemistry. The other two stories weren’t that interesting. The male stripper story only succeeded in making Julie look totally incompetent at her job. She got mad at Hank for being a stripper but did it seriously not occur to her to ask what type of dancing he actually did before booking him? As for the other story, it was just depressing. A laugh track would have helped….

This was just not a very good cruise, I’m afraid. It happens. Hopefully, next week will be better.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

Posted on October 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, The Love Boat hosts a special event!

Episode 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat is hosting a wine tasting competition!

Basically, the contestants sit in the ballroom. They take a sip of wine. They then write down what type of wine they think they just tasted. All of the members of the crew and the majority of the passengers watch them. Seriously, it looks like the most boring thing ever. I mean, I get why the competitors are into it. The winner gets a lot of money. But why would you want to watch people drink? I mean, if you’re crazy into wine, it seems like you’d want to drink it yourself. What fun is there in watching other people drink something? I’ll just say that, if I was on a cruise, I would want to do other things. I would want lay out by the pool or look at the ocean or maybe solve a murder. What I would not want to do would be to spend hours watching other people drink and then spit.

Also, I have to wonder about the wisdom of hosting a wine tasting competition on a ship that’s captained by a recovering alcoholic. Did the show forget this key part of the captain’s character? Merrill Stubing is a recovering alcoholic and he lives his life with the rigorous discipline of someone who is trying to avoid falling back into old habits. It would seem like Captain Stubing would at least mention his alcoholic past in this episode, especially after Vicki says that she wishes she could take part in the contest. Wouldn’t this be a good time for Stubing to explain that an addictive personality can be hereditary?

I know, I know. I’m overthinking. It’s just because I found this episode to be remarkably dull. I mean, I love The Love Boat but this episode was just boring. The whole wine tasting thing just put me to sleep.

It didn’t help that the three stories weren’t particularly interesting.

Robert Guillaume and Leslie Uggams played the two finalists in the wine tasting competition. They each lied to the other about why they needed the money. Then they fell in love and they each threw the competition so the other could win the money. But since they both got the last wine wrong, no one won and no money was awarded. Wow, wine tasting is a harsh sport!

Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin played a married couple who got divorced every year so that they could get a tax break. This time, they sailed to Mexico for a quickie divorce. Tucker’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Walden, was on the cruise and Tucker was tempted to stay divorced. However, she and Goodwin eventually decided to get married a sixth time and to never get divorced again. I liked this story solely because it was about screwing over the IRS.

Finally, Betty White wanted to marry Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. but he instead fell for Betty White’s friend, Carol Channing. No worries though! Fairbanks gave Betty White a job so that she would no longer have to marry for money.

It was all pretty boring. As I said, I love this show but this episode tasted as flat as a French wine from 1178.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/20/24 — 10/26/24

Posted on October 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow, the story of Aaron Hernandez gets less and less interesting with each week. American Sports Story got off to a strong start but, this week, I found myself watching the latest episode and wondering why anyone should care about Aaron and his problems. Seriously, I get that Aaron Hernandez was abused as a child. I get that he struggled as a gay man in a hypermasculine, homophobic industry. I get that he didn’t grow up privileged. I’ll even agree with the show’s criticisms of the NFL. But in the end, who cares? As portrayed on this show, Aaron Hernandez comes across as being an idiot. Beyond the fact that he played professional football, there’s nothing particularly interesting about Hernandez or his crimes. He’s not a compelling character at all.

I was far more entertained by Hell’s Kitchen this week. Gordon Ramsay and his terrified chefs are compelling characters. Ramsay was in a surprisingly supportive mood this week. That’s fine with me. I like it when Chef Ramsay’s nice. No one went home this week. Yay!

Let’s see, what else did I watch this week? I watched that old episode of Dragnet where Friday and Gannon went on the talk show. I actually watched that episode several times. It amused me. Plus, the episode’s debate was a lot more interesting than any of the real debates that are currently going on.

I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, The Love Boat, and Homicide. I watched a Halloween episode of Friday the 13th. I watched and shared several episodes of One Step Beyond. And, finally, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil where a man said his wife had run off with a cult.

And that’s it! Most of my attention was devoted to horror films this week.

Bonus Song of the Day: The Love Boat, performed by Jack Jones

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s not a horror song but, considering the amount of hours that I’ve devoted to The Love Boat over the last two years, there was no way that I couldn’t take a moment to acknowledge Jack Jones, the singer who sang the show’s iconic theme song. Jones passed away on Wednesday at the age of 86. But his voice will live on.

Now, let’s set sail for adventure….

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.1 and 5.2 “The Expedition/Julie’s Wedding/The Mongala/Julie’s Replacement/The Three R’s/The Professor’s Wife”

Posted on October 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start season 5 of The Love Boat!

Episode 5.1 and 5.2 “The Expedition/Julie’s Wedding/The Mongala/Julie’s Replacement/The Three R’s/The Professor’s Wife”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on October 10th, 1981)

The fifth season of The Love Boat opens with a two-hour spectacular. Our Love Boat crew is in Australia, where they will be guiding The Sea Princess on a voyage through the South Pacific. It’s a bit odd to start off a season of The Love Boat on a different boat but I guess the plan was to show off all the different ships that sailed for Princess Cruise Lines. This episode was actually shot on the boat during a cruise. It’s interesting to see how different the Sea Princess is from the show’s usual location. It has nicer hallways than the Pacific Princess and a much larger lobby. However, I prefer the relative privacy of the Pacific Princess’s multi-level dining room to the wide open space provided by the Sea Princess.

Captain Stubing, Gopher, Isaac, and Doc are shocked when Julie does not board the ship. She’s been on vacation with her boyfriend, Tony (Anthony Andrews), for the last few months. Tony lives in Australia so, really, it shouldn’t be too hard for Julie to make it to the ship. Instead, a substitute cruise director named Yvonne (Delvene Delaney) shows up. Doc and Gopher are happy because it gives them a new co-worker to lust after. Captain Stubing is upset because Julie has sent them all a letter in which she explains that she will be marrying Tony and retiring to the animal habitat where he works. She asks Stubing to give her away and she invites Vicki to be a bridesmaid. Gopher, Isaac, and Doc will be ushers.

Doc is briefly distracted from chasing Yvonne when he spots Barbara Carroll (Michelle Phillips) boarding the boat. However, Barbara has eyes for Ralph Sutton (Patrick Duffy), a rancher who is blind without his glasses. Unfortunately, that means that he can’t read the love letter that Barbara wrote him. Because she wants Ralph for herself, Connie Walker (Jennilee Harrison) lies about what the letter says. *GASP* (Don’t worry, it all works out.)

Meanwhile, an expedition headed by shady Deke Donner (Jose Ferrer) goes to an island and captures a hairy man (Patrick Ward) who they believe is the Mongola, a.k.a., the missing link! (Wait, what?) They hide the ape-man in the ship’s cargo area (huh?) and try to keep anyone else from learning that they’re transporting a living thing. Everyone acts like he’s a caveman but it’s kind of obvious that the Mongola is just a confused guy with a beard. Dr. Jill McGraw (Donna Dixon) falls in love with the Mongola, much to the consternation of her colleague, Dr. Barry Mason (Gary Frank). Meanwhile, Deke’s old friend, Prof. Milo Ender (Harry Morgan), is stunned to discover that the Mongola has a vaccination scar. Milo’s wife, Vivian (Katherine Helmond), encourages Milo to keep the secret to himself so that they can at least make some money off of the Mongola. (Like, seriously, what the Hell is even going on with this story?) Milo agrees, though it doesn’t seem to occur to him that, if he could notice the vaccination scar, then pretty much anyone could notice the vaccination scar. Eventually, the Mongola gets loose from his cage and jumps overboard. “He’s shark food,” Deke says. (What in the name of God is going on here?) However, the Mongola apparently survives because the police are waiting to arrest Deke as soon as the ship docks in Australia.

But what about the wedding!? you’re saying. Well, the wedding doesn’t happen. It nearly happens. Julie shows up at the church. However, Tony finds out that he’s going to die in a month or two so he leaves Julie at the altar. Julie flies back to Los Angeles with the rest of the Love Boat crew.

Seriously, this is the most morbid episode of The Love Boat that I’ve ever seen.

Still, morbid or not, it’s an entertainingly weird episode and the Australian and New Zealand scenery is lovely to look at. (As with all of the two-hour episodes of The Love Boat, there’s a lot of travelogue padding.) There’s something oddly appealing about seeing the usual Love Boat shenanigans mixed in with a story about the Missing Link and Julie discovering that the love of her life is terminally ill. I mean, the song isn’t lying. The Love Boat really does promise something for everyone.

I mean, in the end, we all know that Julie couldn’t get married because then she’d have to leave the show and that wouldn’t happen until Lauren Tewes’s cocaine use became a problem during the seventh season. Tony could either cheat on her or he could die. (Better he die than do what almost every man does at his bachelor party.) The episode ends with Tony still alive so I guess the show’s writer were leaving their options open. Maybe Tony will make a miraculous recovery, who knows?

Myself, I’m just happy that the crew is back together. It’s time to set sail …. again!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/13/24 — 10/19/24

Posted on October 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I watched a lot of horror movies this week but I didn’t watch much television. Starting on November 1st, I’m going to have a lot of shows to get caught up on.

I caught the latest installment of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez. Like a lot of Ryan Murphy’s recent miniseries, American Sports Story started out strong but the last few episodes have felt like padding. It’s not that the episodes aren’t contributing to the story. This week, we watched as Aaron committed what was apparently his first murder and as he started to show signs of CTE. But it’s still hard not to feel as if each episode is basically 20 minutes worth of story stretched out to 50 minutes. We’re halfway through this series and it has yet to really give us a reason why we should care about Aaron Hernandez. He just comes across as being an idiot, regardless of his athletic skills, his terrible childhood, or his status as a self-hating gay man trying to survive in a homophobic culture. He doesn’t seem to be worth all of this trouble.

I watched Hell’s Kitchen. The chefs continue to compete at a high level and they continue to have disastrous dinner services. Hell’s Kitchen is one of the few reality shows not to have massively changed its format over the past four years. The producers know there’s no need to fix something that’s already working. If only the producers of Big Brother and Survivor understood that!

I watched an old episode of Night Flight on Friday. It featured Elvis snarling at the camera.

I watched the episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil and cult expert Rick Ross confronted a guy who said he wasn’t a cult leader despite the fact that he clearly was. There’s a lot negative things that can be said about Dr. Phil’s show but the episodes where he exposed cults and their leaders were always entertaining and worth watching.

I watched and reviewed Homicide, Miami Vice, and The Love Boat! I also watched and shared several episodes of One Step Beyond.

And that’s it!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.28 “Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America’s Sweetheart”

Posted on October 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, season 4 comes to an end!

Episode 4.28 “Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America’s Sweetheart”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on May 16th, 1981)

Wedding bells are in the air!

Carl Mitchell (William Christopher) boards the boat without his wife. As he explains to Gopher and Isaac, he was married when he booked the cruise but now he’s not married because his wife was too much of a slob. However, Carl is still determined to take his cruise and enjoy himself. As soon as Carl goes off to find his cabin, his wife, Lynn (Toni Tennille), boards the ship and tells Gopher and Isaac that she just broke up with her neat freak husband but she’s determined to go ahead and take the cruise that they booked before their break-up.

Carl and Lynn are not happy to discover that they’re both on the cruise and that they’re sharing a cabin. Carl wants to date a younger woman. Lynn flirts with Doc Bricker. Of course, Carl and Lynne are still in love with each other. Lynn decides to win Carl back by cleaning up the cabin. Carl decides to win back Lynn by messing the cabin up. It’s like the most pointless story that O. Henry never wrote. The important thing is that Carl and Lynn decide to give their marriage another chance.

(Personally, I couldn’t live with someone messy. And Lynn really does just toss stuff all over the place. I think they should get a divorce.)

While this is going on, Vicki is super-excited when her favorite actress, Becky Daniels (Alison Angrim), boards the boat. But Becky is actually a spoiled brat and, when she hires Vicki to serve as her stand-in for a movie that’s being shot on the boat, she goes out of her way to make sure that Vicki is humiliated. Vicki is briefly disillusioned with Hollywood, until Becky apologizes and she and Vicki become friends. Okay, then. Glad that worked out!

Meanwhile, Julie is late arriving at the boat because she’s been busy visiting her aunt (a glowering Nancy Kulp). She even gets into an argument over a cab with Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews), a veterinarian. Julie wins the argument and the cab but imagine her shock when Tony turns out to be a passenger on the boat! She’s even more shocked when she sees Tony walking around with two chimpanzees. Of course, as you’ve probably already guessed, Tony and Julie fall in love. And Tony asks Julie to marry him. And Julie says yes!

And that’s where season 4 ends.

Is this the end of Julie’s tenure as cruise director? I guess we’ll find out next week. As for this episode, it was pleasant-enough way to end the fourth season. The stories did not particularly interest me but the Love Boat crew has become a strong enough ensemble that the show is no longer as dependent on its guest stars as it used to be. This episode, I enjoyed watching the crew more than the passengers. Seriously, I want to take a cruise now.

Next week, we start season 5!