Lee Bergere | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey gets involved in a domestic drama.

Episode 1.29 “Cry Revenge”

(Dir by David Alexander, originally aired on April 28th, 1958)

Mrs. Hart (Fran Carlon) has been getting threatening phone calls from criminal James Anderson (Lee Bergere), who is trying to keep Mrs. Hart from testifying against him in court. Casey is sent over to the Hart home to provide 24-hour protection. It’s there that she meets Norma (Zohra Lampert), Mrs. Hart’s club-footed daughter. Norma blames her mother for both her father’s death and her disability.

Norma stuns everyone when she announces that she has married Howard Farley (Lonny Chapman), one of Anderson’s criminal associates. Norma is getting back at her mother but what she doesn’t realize is that Howard only married her so that he and James could rob the family business!

Casey didn’t really get to do much in this episode, as she herself admitted at the end of the episode. (In her closing monologue, she tells us that she’ll always think of the Harts whenever she wonders what happens behind the curtains of a seemingly perfect home.) This episode is a bit of a soap opera, with Norma eventually discovering the truth about her alcoholic father and how he was responsible for her twisted foot.

Zohra Lampert, who previously appeared on this show as the victim of a heroin dealer, gives a good performance as Norma, playing her as being both vulnerable and vindictive. This episode eventually got a bit too overwrought for its own good but Lampert made the episode worth watching.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat hosts a special event!

Episode 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat is hosting a wine tasting competition!

Basically, the contestants sit in the ballroom. They take a sip of wine. They then write down what type of wine they think they just tasted. All of the members of the crew and the majority of the passengers watch them. Seriously, it looks like the most boring thing ever. I mean, I get why the competitors are into it. The winner gets a lot of money. But why would you want to watch people drink? I mean, if you’re crazy into wine, it seems like you’d want to drink it yourself. What fun is there in watching other people drink something? I’ll just say that, if I was on a cruise, I would want to do other things. I would want lay out by the pool or look at the ocean or maybe solve a murder. What I would not want to do would be to spend hours watching other people drink and then spit.

Also, I have to wonder about the wisdom of hosting a wine tasting competition on a ship that’s captained by a recovering alcoholic. Did the show forget this key part of the captain’s character? Merrill Stubing is a recovering alcoholic and he lives his life with the rigorous discipline of someone who is trying to avoid falling back into old habits. It would seem like Captain Stubing would at least mention his alcoholic past in this episode, especially after Vicki says that she wishes she could take part in the contest. Wouldn’t this be a good time for Stubing to explain that an addictive personality can be hereditary?

I know, I know. I’m overthinking. It’s just because I found this episode to be remarkably dull. I mean, I love The Love Boat but this episode was just boring. The whole wine tasting thing just put me to sleep.

It didn’t help that the three stories weren’t particularly interesting.

Robert Guillaume and Leslie Uggams played the two finalists in the wine tasting competition. They each lied to the other about why they needed the money. Then they fell in love and they each threw the competition so the other could win the money. But since they both got the last wine wrong, no one won and no money was awarded. Wow, wine tasting is a harsh sport!

Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin played a married couple who got divorced every year so that they could get a tax break. This time, they sailed to Mexico for a quickie divorce. Tucker’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Walden, was on the cruise and Tucker was tempted to stay divorced. However, she and Goodwin eventually decided to get married a sixth time and to never get divorced again. I liked this story solely because it was about screwing over the IRS.

Finally, Betty White wanted to marry Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. but he instead fell for Betty White’s friend, Carol Channing. No worries though! Fairbanks gave Betty White a job so that she would no longer have to marry for money.

It was all pretty boring. As I said, I love this show but this episode tasted as flat as a French wine from 1178.