Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 6th, 1982)

Once again, Julie is not involved in either of this week’s fantasies.  At the start of the episode, Roarke tells Tattoo that Julie has been trying to help a guest whose fantasy was to introduce “women’s lib” to cavemen.  A woman then runs by while being chased by a caveman.  Apparently, the fantasy did not go well.  I’m a bit worried that Julie might lose her job because none of the fantasies that she’s involved with ever seem to go well.

As for this week’s guests, Chuck Conners shows up as Frank Barton.  Barton is a big-game hunter.  He has hunted and conquered almost every type of animal.  Now, he wants to hunt the most dangerous animal of all …. okay, okay, you’ve heard all this before.  This is not the first time that Fantasy Island has looked to The Most Dangerous Game for inspiration.  However, this is the first time that the show has featured a hunter who specifically wants to stalk Mr. Roarke.

It’s a bit of an odd fantasy, though.  Frank doesn’t want to chase Mr. Roarke through the forest or anything like that.  Instead, Frank just wants to plant booby traps around the Island.  If Mr. Roarke survives 24 hours, he’ll be fee to set a few traps of his own.  Roarke agrees, explaining to Tattoo that, if Frank doesn’t come after him then he’ll go after someone else.  Roarke is doing the world a favor by distracting Frank.

Frank tries, he really does.  He tries poison.  He tries explosives.  Even though Mr. Roarke agrees not to use any of his “special powers,” he always manages to stay a step or two ahead of Frank.  Finally, Frank kidnaps Tattoo and that’s when Mr. Roarke says enough of this.  If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. Roarke beat up a guest, this is the episode for you.  Frank ends up leaving the Island in the custody of two burly men who are apparently going to check him into a mental hospital.  Frank got his fantasy but it didn’t turn out well for him.  At least he wasn’t trying to reason with cavemen….

Meanwhile, Suzi Swann (Helen Reddy) comes to the Island with her boss, fashion designer Jack Becker (George Maharis).  Suzi is in love with Jack but Jack takes her for granted.  Suzi’s fantasy is to fall out of love with him and …. wait a minute!  Didn’t Helen Reddy sing “I am Woman?”  Why is the show wasting her time with this fantasy when they could have cast her as the guest who wanted to teach the cavemen about equality?  If they had done that, Julie could have worked with Helen Reddy and Roarke and Tattoo would have been free to concentrate on Frank and his homicidal fantasy!  I mean, I think it was a mistake to give Roarke two assistants for this season but if you’re going to have Julie around, at least let her take part in one of the main fantasies….

Oh well.  Let’s get back to the fantasy that actually did happen.

Roarke gives Suzi some magic gumdrops that were apparently made with special Fantasy Island berries.  The gumdrops make Suzi feel the opposite of whatever she previously felt.  She takes one and immediately announced that she doesn’t like either Roarke or Tattoo.  “You’re short!” Suzi says to Tattoo which …. ugh.  That’s a terrible line, considering that the show has previously always treated Tattoo’s height with a good deal of sensitivity.

Suzi is no longer in love with Jack and instead, she finds herself attracted to the mysterious Claude Duvalle (James Darren).  But the fact that she is no longer willing to be Jack’s doormat leads to Jack realizing that he failed to appreciate her.  Jack falls in love with Suzi and Suzi falls back in love with Jack.

As Suzi and Jack leave together, Tattoo suggests that Rorake failed to give Suzi her fantasy.  Roarke explains that Suzi fell out of love with the old Jack but then she fell in love with the new Jack so actually, he totally succeeded.  Uhm….whatever you say, Mr. Roarke.

Roarke then takes a magic gumball and tells Tattoo, “I don’t like you.”

AGCK!  But actually, the gumball makes its user for the opposite of what they actually feel so Mr. Roarke actually does like Tattoo!  Awwww!  I’m glad that’s cleared up.

I enjoyed this episode.  Much like last week’s episode it felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.  Neither fantasy really made much sense but both Roarke and Tattoo got to do a lot and that really made all the difference.  Fantasy Island always works best when Roarke and Tattoo are more than just bystanders.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.21 “CHP BMX”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch saves us all.

Episode 2.21 “CHP BMX”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on March 3rd, 1979)

The California Highway Patrol is sponsoring a BMX racing team!  Sindy and Baker are the coaches while Ponch is …. well, Ponch is mostly just hanging out.  He does find time to flirt with Ms. Ramirez (Mina Vasquez), a teacher who hopes that joining the team could help out an at-risk student named Danny (Kirk Calloway).  Danny likes to vandalize things.  He’s on his way to juvie if Ponch can’t reach him …. hey, you know the drill.  By this point, we all know how this show works.  Of course, Ponch is going to reach the kid.  With that dazzling smile, Ponch can do anything.

It’s Getraer who has the most to deal with during this episode.  After his son is struck by a car, Getraer becomes so distracted on the job that he messes up the arrest of a drug dealer (Henry Olek).  Told by his superiors to take a week off while his son recovers, Getraer instead starts to tail the dealer on his own.  Getraer is determined to put the man in jail.  Fortunately, Ponch is there to help catch him.  Is there nothing that Ponch can’t do?

Seriously, when I watch an episode like this, I can understand why Larry Wilcox apparently did not enjoy working with Erik Estrada on this show.  While Baker humbly does his job without asking for any special recognition, Ponch is portrayed as being so perfect that you half-expect him to start walking on water.  The theme of this episode — and really, the theme of much of the second season — has been that Ponch can ultimately do no wrong.  Even when it looks like Ponch has screwed up, he ultimately turns out to be infallible.  He’s more than just a member of the California Highway Patrol.  He’s St. Ponch of Los Angeles, saving souls while riding his motorcycle amongst the heathens.

It probably sounds like I’m being critical of this episode but I actually enjoyed it, for much the same reason that I enjoy most episodes of CHiPs.  The car and motorcycle stunts were spectacularly filmed and the scenery was nice to look at.  Even though it rains through a good deal of this episode and Getraer, Baker, and Ponch aren’t exactly hanging out in the most glamorous sections of Los Angeles, this episode still manages to make L.A. look like the loveliest city in the world.

And really, even Erik Estrada is entertaining.  It’s easy to laugh at his big smile and his less-than-subtle acting technique but that’s just Estrada being Estrada and, in the world of CHiPs, it works.

The important thing is that everything works out.  Danny wins his race.  Getraer’s son gets out of the hospital.  And maybe Baker will get to do something more than smile at Ponch next week.  We’ll see!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.8 “Better Living Through Chemistry”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Tubbs’s cover is blown …. again.

Episode 3.8 “Better Living Through Chemistry”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on November 14th, 1986)

While working undercover as Ricardo Cooper (and yes, I’m pretty sure I heard the fake Caribbean accent at the start of this episode), Tubbs is stunned to discover that his former partner from New York, Clarence Batisse (Victor Love), is now working as a DJ at a club owned by a local drug lord.

Tubbs is even more shocked when Clarence announces to the entire club that “Ricardo Cooper” is actually an undercover cop.

Somehow, and it’s not really made clear how, Tubbs is able to escape the club without getting shot.  Sonny also somehow manages to convince the drug dealers that he didn’t know that Tubbs was actually a cop.  So, Sonny “Burnett” continues to play his part in the undercover operation while Tubbs tries to figure out why Clarence blew his cover.

Clarence is bitter.  His career with the NYPD came crashing down when he shot a bookie during a raid.  Clarence claimed the bookie had a gun but the gun was never found.  Tubbs didn’t see the gun and refused to lie for his partner.  However, when Tubbs realizes that Clarence has been reduce to working for a drug lord, he sets about to try to clear Clarence’s name.

Meanwhile, informant Izzy (Martin Ferrero) has been hired to babysit the drug lord’s chemist, nerdy Henry Luna (Nelson Villamor).  Luna has developed cocaine that is so pure that most people can’t even survive doing one hit.  The Vice squad know that, if the cocaine hits the streets, it will lead to a gang war.  But then Luna does a hit of his own cocaine and falls over dead.

Tubbs does manage to clear Clarence’s name but it doesn’t matter.  Clarence has gone so far over to the dark side that he sets up Tubbs and Crockett to be attacked in a surprise raid.  Tubbs and Crockett kill the bad guys and, at the end of the episode, Tubbs takes Clarence into custody.  A good cop has gone very bad….

This was a weird episode.  It was technically a Tubbs episode but it seemed like the majority of the running time was taken up with Izzy babysitting the chemist.  Izzy is one of those supporting characters who works best in small amounts.  Building almost an entire episode around him just serves to highlight that there’s really not much depth to Izzy as a character.  He’s cowardly and he talks a lot.  It’s funny until it isn’t, which is another way of saying that it gets old after ten minutes.  The comedy of Izzy and the Chermist didn’t really fit in with the scenes of Tubbs trying to clear his former partner’s name.  The tone of the episode was all over the place, making this a rare Miami Vice episode that didn’t seem to know what it wanted to be.

On the plus side, the drug lord owned a club that was full of motorcycles and where Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer was the most popular song.  There was one very exciting shoot-out at the club.  That was a good thing.  Otherwise, this was Miami Vice at its least effective.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.1 and 1.2 “A New Start”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, Degrassi Junior High becomes Degrassi High!

Episode 1.1 and 1.2 “A New Start”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 6th, 1989)

It’s a new school year and, due to the Junior High burning down, all of the Degrassi kids are enrolling at Degrassi High!  Along with finally getting to go to a new school, they also finally get a new theme song and title sequence.

Just going to a new school isn’t going to stop the drama, of course.  Joey is still trying to make the Zit Remedy into something more than a mediocre garage band.  Snake and Wheels are still politely listening to Joey’s plans.  Caitlin and Joey are now dating but there’s a smarmy junior named Claude Tanner (David Armin-Parcells) who really seems to appreciate the blonde streaks in Caitlin’s hair.  (Caitlin, it should be noted, does have the best hair in the school.)  Arthur and Yick Yu, who both appear to have had major growth spurts over the summer, are growing apart.  Alexa is not happy when Simon’s recent success as a male model makes him popular with all of the other girls at the Degrassi High.  For neither the first nor the last time, Alexa dramatically gives Simon back his ring while Simon responds with genuine confusion.  We even meet the new homeroom teacher, who assigns the students to read Lord of the Flies.  (If you’ve seen the entire series, including the sequels to the original Degrassi High, it’s hard not to smile at the first of many references to Lord of the Flies.)

Dwayne Meyers (Darrin Brown), the bully who beat Joey up during the second season of Degrassi Junior High, is now attending high school and, as soon as he sees the new students, he decides that it’s time to bring back initiations.  Soon, students are getting covered in white paste, tied to flag poles, and being otherwise ritually humiliated.  Dwayne especially has it out for Joey.  Unfortunately, for Joey, Mr. Raditch has found a new job as DHS’s vice principal and he doesn’t have much sympathy for Joey’s predicament.

That said, the main storyline here involves the Farrell Twins.  I have to admit that I groaned a bit when I discovered this was going to be a Farrell Twin episode because the twins were always the weakest characters on Degrassi Junior High.  However, I have to say that Angela and Maureen Deiseach actually did a pretty good job in this episode.  Erica Farrell (Angela Deiseach), having lost her virginity at camp over the summer, discovers that she’s pregnant and considers getting an abortion.  Her twin sister, Heather (Maureen Deiseach), is opposed to abortion and, at first, refuses to go with Erica to the clinic.  After talking to Spike, who also opposes abortion but who, as a single mother, also understands Erica’s fear, Heather finally shows up at the clinic to support her sister as she walks through a throng of protestors.

Eventually, unwanted pregnancies would occur so frequently on Degrassi that they would become something of a cliche, as would the inevitable decision to get an abortion.  A New Start is one of the better pregnancy episodes, handling the storyline with sensitivity but also bringing nuance to its portrayal of the abortion debate.  Especially when compared to how heavy-handed the show would get in its final seasons, it’s really interesting to see how intelligently and respectfully both the pro-life and the pro-choice positions are presented in this episode.  The episode makes clear that there are no easy answers and there’s also no easy villains, which is something that Degrassi itself would forget during it’s four seasons on Netflix.  As Erica and Heather enter the clinic, a protestor holds up a plastic fetus, an image that was considered to be so controversial that PBS actually censored it when this episode aired in America.

(At least this episode actually made it to America, albeit in edited form.  The next Degrassi pregnancy episode would sit unaired for three years.)

It’s not a great way for the Farrell twins to start the school year but it’s proof that, even as Degrassi Junior High becomes Degrassi High, it will continue to “go there.”

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on The Street 1.7 “A Dog and Pony Show”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, everyone gets something to do!

Episode 1.7 “A Dog and Pony Show”

(Dir by Alan Taylor, originally aired on March 10th, 1993)

Still struggling to accept their failure to get the arraber to confess to the murder of Adena Watson, Bayliss and Pembleton find themselves investigating another mysterious death.  Jake, a healthy and apparently beloved member of the Baltimore police, has been found dead in a park.  No one is sure about the cause of death but Pembleton suspects that Jake may have been poisoned.  When Pembleton asks Jake’s partner (played by Nick Olcott) if Jake had any enemies, he replies, “Maybe just the Pekingese next door.”

Pembleton is determined to solve the mystery of Jake’s death.  Bayliss is less concerned with the case, largely because Jake was a dog.  Of course, as a member of a K-9 unit, Jake was also a member of the force.  Because Jake was a member of law enforcement, the Homicide unit is required to investigate his death.  Bayliss thinks that Pembleton’s interest in the case is just trying to show Bayliss up in front of Giardello but Pembleton claims that his only concer is seeing that justice is done.  Add to that, Pembleton just happens to like dogs.

And Pembleton does solve the case.  It turns out that Jake got loose and was picked up by an overworked animal control officer (Joy Ehrlich) who, back at the pound, mixed Jake up with another dog who was scheduled to be put down.  She only realized her mistake after Jake died.  In a panic, she dumped Jake’s body in the park.  Having solved Jake’s death, Pembleton and Bayliss attend his funeral.  As Jake’s partner dumps Jake’s ashes into a lake, Bayliss suddenly gets emotional.  He explains that he’s thinking about Adena.  Pembleton, for once, shows some sympathy for Bayliss.  It looks like the two are finally starting to bond and become true partners.  All it took was the death of one dog.  (I’m getting teary-eyed just writing that sentence.)

Meanwhile, Bolander continues to stress out about his relationship with Carol, which is a subplot that I find less and less interesting with each episode in which it is featured.  This time, Bolander and Munch take Carol’s teenage son, Danny (Stivi Paskoski), on a ride-along.  Bolander is disturbed at just how excited Danny gets about seeing a dead body.  When Danny says that he’d love to commit a murder and get away with it, Bolander decides that the kid is mentally disturbed.  He also lets Carol know that he thinks Danny is a bit sick in the head.  I get the feeling this relationship is not going to last much longer and that’s fine with me because Bolander’s love life (or lack thereof) is honestly the least interesting part of this show so far.

While all of that is going on, Crosetti tries to comfort the now blind Chris Thormann, who does not react well to the news that his wife (played by Edie Falco) is pregnant.  I’m not really a huge fan of the Thormann storyline, largely because I find it to be almost unbearably depressing.  But I do have to say that Jon Polito, Lee Tergesen, and Edie Falco all really gave great performance in this episode.

Howard and Felton investigate the murder of a drug dealer’s girlfriend.  This storyline was pretty typical of what you’d expect to see on a cop show.  The most interesting thing about it was the presence of Lawrence Gilliard, Jr. as an associate of the suspect.  Years later, Gilliard would play the tragic D’Angelo Barksdale on the first two seasons of The Wire, a show that feels like a direct descendant of Homicide.  (And, indeed, Richard Belzer did have a cameo as John Munch during The Wire‘s final season so the two shows do take place in the same universe, though it should be made clear that Gilliard is not playing D’Angelo in this episode.)

Finally, a retiring shift commander (played by Michael Constantine) warned Giardello that the bosses want to force out all of the veteran commanders so that they can be replaced by younger men.  As usual, Kotto shined in the role of Giardello, playing him as being the ideal boss.  In a police force where almost everyone else seems to be looking out for themselves, Giardello genuinely cares about the people working under him.

After the emotional intensity of the previous episode, A Dog and Pony Show feels a bit more like a traditional crime show.  It’s definitely an ensemble piece, with everyone getting something to do.  (Even Lewis gets to help out Felton and Howard while his usual partner, Crosetti, tends to Thormann.)  Though this episode doesn’t grab the viewer in the same way as the previous few episodes, it still gives the cast a chance to show off their strengths and it still features enough unexpected moments of mordant wit to keep things from getting too bleak.  (It’s hard not to smile at Bayliss and Pembleton bickering over dogs or at Yaphet Kotto’s delivery of the line, “I’m starting to dislike both of you.”)  This episode shows that, even with a somewhat conventional episode, Homicide could still get the job done without sacrificing its own unique identity.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.20 “The Son Also Rises”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

I don’t even know where to start this week.

Episode 2.20 “The Son Also Rises”

(Dir by Stuart Gillard, originally aired on March 8th, 1987)

For what seems like the 100th time since I started watching the second season of this show, Edna is going on vacation.  Technically, she’s going to be taking a computer course but everyone refers to it as being a vacation.  Not that it matters because, knowing this show, we’ll never hear another word about this class that Edna is taking or the promotion that she’s hoping to get.

No sooner has Edna left then Howard’s ex-girlfriend, Molly Maguire (Diana Barrington), shows up.  As Howard explains it to his employees (though why they would care, I have no idea), Molly was the great love of Howard’s life when he was in college and studying hotel management.  (We often hear about all of these wonderful things that Howard did in the past, which leads me to wonder why, in his mid-50s, he’s just the manager of a middling grocery store in Canada.) Howard is excited to reconnect with Molly.  It’s hard not to notice that, for all the episodes that have portrayed Howard as being the perfect boyfriend, he always tries to hook up with someone else whenever Edna is out of town.  Oddly, it appears that none of her friends at the store have ever told Edna that Howard isn’t particularly faithful when she’s away.

(Remember when Howard threw a snit fit over Edna having dinner with her ex-husband?  Seems kind of hypocritical, no?)

Howard’s plan to hook up with Molly is to invite her over to his apartment and to have Viker dress up like a butler in order to fool her into thinking that he’s rich.  However, when Molly shows up, she reveals that she doesn’t want to rekindle any sort of romance with Howard.  Instead, she wants Howard to give her child support because, according to Molly, he’s the father of her “teenage” son, Mickey (Keith Knight).

(Teenage is in quotes because, despite everything that Howard and Molly say to the contrary, Mickey is clearly not a teenager.  Actor Keith Knight, who appeared in a number of classic Canadian films including My Bloody Valentine and Class of 1984, was 31 years old when he appeared in this episode.)

Howard and Mickey bond.  Mickey turns out to be a pretty nice and intelligent “kid” and Howard starts to think that maybe he would like to be a father.  (Good luck explaining any of this to Edna, Howard.)  Howard worries about paying child support.  Leslie the cashier offers to loan him the money.  (What?)  But then Molly shows up and reveals that — ha ha! — Howard’s not Mickey’s father after all.  She just said that to get some money from Howard but since Howard obviously doesn’t have any money, never mind.

Well, that was …. interesting.  Seriously, what a weird episode.  Howard’s a jerk and, after bonding with 30-something Mickey, he discovers that he’s not Mickey’s father.  Edna comes back from her trip and asks Howard if anything happened while she was gone.  Howard says he doesn’t know where to start.  Roll credits!  There have been many inconsequential episodes of Check It Out! but none as inconsequential as this.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/10/24 — 11/16/24


I got caught up with a few shows this week.  Here’s my thoughts on what I watched.

Accused (Tuesday Night, Fox)

I watched the three most recent episodes of Accused this week.  The road rage episode had its good moments and it kept my guessing, though I would have appreciated a bit more of a twist at the end.  The episode with Nick Cannon was so bad that it felt like a parody of woke programming.  (It’s kind of funny how everyone apparently just agreed to forget about Cannon’s history of making anti-Semitic statements.)  The episode with Michael Chiklis as the wrestling coach was much better, though I kept expecting the coach to reveal that he was actually the wrestler’s father.  That would have been a neat twist.

Accused is an uneven show but it’s pretty interesting when it works.  And when it doesn’t work, it’s interesting in an entirely different way.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (Tuesday Night, FX)

As I’ve said before, this miniseries started out strong but, as so often happens with these Ryan Murphy-produced true crime things, it went downhill quickly.  The final episode was perhaps the worst of the series, if just because it tried to turn Hernandez into some sort of victim.  I have no doubt CTE played some role in his actions but so what?  In the end, at least one man is dead because of Aaron Hernandez.  Ask Odin Lloyd’s family if they care about Aaron Hernandez’s struggle to adjust to living in prison.  I don’t care if he felt uncomfortable with his sexuality.  I don’t care if he was put under tremendous pressure by his coaches.  I don’t care if he was molested when he was a child.  Aaron Hernandez made his decisions and he suffered the consequences and the last thing he deserves is sympathy.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out! will be posting shortly.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here.  I had a bit of panic when I read the Freevee was shutting down, as I’ve still got many episodes of CHiPs to review and watch.  I’ve been told, however, the shows on Freevee will also be “free” on Prime.  We’ll see!  I’m nor sure that I would want to pay money just for the chance to watch Erik Estrada.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my latest review of Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

My heart broke for Anthony this week!  I took some comfort that Chef Ramsay seemed to be just as said as I was to watch Anthony go.  I was glad Anthony was allowed to keep his jacket.

Highway to Heaven (Hulu)

I reviewed Highway to Heaven here!

Inmate To Roommate (Hulu)

Earlier this year, I enjoyed what I saw of the second season of this A&E show.  (When my Dad had his accident, I stopped watching Inmate to Roommate because taking care of my Dad took priority over any television show.)  This week, I decided to watch the first season of the show on Hulu.  The first season felt a bit more staged than the second season.  If the second season had a raw authenticity to it, the first season was marred by too many scenes that were obviously just done for the cameras.  Still, I appreciate any show that encourages people to give ex-convicts a chance to prove themselves.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson (Netflix)

I watched a little of this with Jeff on Friday night.  I was pretty bored with it but at least it was filmed in Texas.  That said, due to my obligations as the hostess of #FridayNightFlix, I stopped watching before either Jake or Tyson left their dressing rooms.  Jeff wrote about the fight here and here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed The Love Boat here1

Malibu CA (YouTube)

For my sins, I reviewed Malibu, CA here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I reviewed Monsters here!

Rockin’ Ronny (Night Flight Plus)

This special originally aired in 1986.  It featured a collection of clips from Ronald Reagan’s movies, mixed in with footage of him as president.  Obviously, the show was meant to poke fun at and be critical of Reagan but it didn’t really work.  Rather than coming across as being any of the bad things that this special seemed to be trying to suggest that he was, Ronald Reagan just came across as being a likable old man.  Certainly, he seemed more presidential than any of the folks we’ve recently elected here.

Say Nothing (Hulu)

I am about halfway through this new miniseries about The Troubles in Northern Ireland.  So far, it’s been a powerful few hours.  I’ll share more of my thoughts after I’ve watched the remaining episodes.

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

I can’t believe I’m paying money for this show.  You can read my latest review here!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.8 “X-Rated Education”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, Gabe Kaplan is missing.

Episode 4.8 “X-Rated Education”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 28th, 1978)

Epstein, because he’s apparently the only student who works in the audio-visual department, is setting up the projector in the classroom so that it can be used to show a sex education film.  Carvelli and Wilbur enter the room and announce that they have a pornographic film that they want to watch.  Horshack and Washington then show up and decide that they want to watch the movie as well, even though Horshack doesn’t seem to be quite sure what an adult film actually is.

(Horshack also now appears to now be about 50 years old.  The Sweathogs are aging …. fast!)

Epstein says that they can use a different projector to watch the pornographic film.  The Sweathogs and Carvelli head off to the storage closet while Julie takes the first projector to the office so that she can show the sex ed film to a bunch of parents who are not sure they want their children taking sex ed.

You can guess what happens, can’t you?  The two films get mixed up.  The Sweathogs end up watching the tame sex ed film.  Horshack becomes obsessed with the butterfly that is featured in the film.  The protesting parents watch the adult film and demand that both Julie and Woodman be fired.  Can Julie talk Epstein into explaining what happened even though it’ll mean that Epstein will be running the risk of being expelled?  Much like Horshack, Epstein appears to be 50 years old in this episode so maybe getting expelled would be good for him at this point.

This episode raises a simple question.  Is it really an episode of Welcome Back, Kotter if Kotter isn’t around to be welcomed back?  Gabe Kotter is not in this episode and his absence is neither mentioned nor explained.  (Off-screen, Gabe Kaplan was not happy with the show’s direction and refused to appear in all but a handful of season four’s episodes.)  It’s a shame because the plot of this episode does actually feel like a throw back to the type of first and second season episodes that Kaplan usually did quite well with.  Instead of Kaplan’s understanding but firm Gabe Kotter, we get Julie telling Epstein to tell the truth and negotiating with the parents.  Julie now works at the school but I’m not totally sure what her job is actually supposed to be.  Sometimes, she appears to just be Woodman’s administrative assistant.  Other times, she appears to be a guidance counselor.  Sometimes, she’s a teacher.  Julie usually gives good advice but she’s an outsider and it’s obvious that, unlike her husband, she would never consider herself to be a Sweathog.  Whereas Gabe talks to the Sweathogs, Julie often seems to be talking down to them.

This episode also suffers due to the fact that Barbarino is not present, even though the idea of the Sweathogs watching a sex education film seems like a classic Barbarino plot.  Robert Hegyes is the main Sweathog now.  He was a good actor but he was also way too old, at this point, to be playing a high school student.  Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs continues to be underused and Ron Pallilo performance as Horshack has grown more and more grating as the fourth season has progressed.

In the end, only John Sylvester White’s unhinged performance as Woodman remains a consistent source of laughs on this show.  Woodman is not quite as antagonistic towards Julie as he is towards Gabe but his constant bitterness is still a lot of fun to watch.  Maybe they should have renamed this show Welcome  Back, Woodman.

Anyway, this was another fourth season episode that fell flat because the Sweathogs and Julie all seemed like they would rather be anywhere than appearing on Welcome Back, Kotter.  Seriously …. let the Sweathogs graduate!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.18 “A Friend To The End”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s two stories for the price of one!

Episode 2.18 “A Friend To The End”

(Dir by David Morse, originally aired on April 17th, 1989)

Before I say anything else about this episode, I should make clear that I’ve been watching Friday the 13th on YouTube.  Every episode has been uploaded and 99% of the uploads are clean and clear and easy to follow.  Unfortunately, this episode was the exception.  The sound quality was terrible.  The image was often blurry.  I’m not sure why this episode — and none of the other uploaded episodes — was so bad but it was bad enough that I occasionally struggled to follow the plot.  That’s not the fault of the show.  It’s just that the video that was uploaded to YouTube was really bad.  While I think I got the gist of the episode, I should still make clear that I watched it under less than ideal conditions.

This episode actually tells two stories.  With Jack out of town, Micki and Ryan are trying to retrieve the Shard of Medusa, a crystal that turns people into statues.  DeJager (Donna Goodhand) is the artist who currently owns the shard and who is using it to turn her models into stone.  What’s interesting about this story is that, when the episode begins, we join in medias res.  Micki and Ryan already know that DeJager has the shard and they’re already making a plan for Micki to go undercover as a model.

Unfortunately, they’re so busy trying to get back the shard that they don’t really have time to look after J.B. (Zachary Bennett), Micki’s young nephew who keeps getting left at the antique store while his newly-divorced mother runs off with her latest boyfriend.  (Interestingly, Ryan scornfully asks Micki about “your sister,” but since Micki is Ryan’s cousin, wouldn’t Micki’s sister also be his cousin?)  While Micki and Ryan are busy trying to get back the shard, J.B. is breaking into a nearby haunted house and befriending a troubled boy named Ricky (Keram Malicki-Sanchez).  What J.B. does not know is that Ricky is actually a living dead boy who is kept alive by a cursed coffin.  In order to continue to live, Ricky has to sacrifice people to the coffin.  Ricky isn’t happy about this.  He just wants a friend.  J.B. is willing to be that friend but what will happen when Ricky, desperately in need of a new sacrifice, turns his gaze towards Micki?

One of the strange things about this episode is that, when J.B. tells Micki and Ryan about Ricky, they both assume that he’s just making something up.  After everything Micki and Ryan have seen, would they really be so skeptical about J.B. claiming to have met a ghost in a long-abandoned house?  The other interesting thing about this episode is that the two storylines didn’t really intersect, beyond the fact that J.B. felt neglected because Micki and Ryan were spending so much time trying to get the shard.  At one point, DeJager breaks into the store and briefly grabs J.B. but that’s something that probably would have happened regardless of whether or not J.B. had ever met Ricky.

Did this episode work?  I’m hesitant to give a final verdict because of the poor quality of the upload.  That said, Keram Malicki-Sanchez gave a good performance as the tragic Ricky and I appreciated how all of the stuff with DeJager almost played out like a good-natured parody of a typical Friday the 13th episode.  Bad upload and all, this episode worked for me.

Finally, seeing as how I reviewed St. Elsewhere earlier today, I simply have to note that this episode was directed by Dr. Jack Morrison himself, David Morse.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.2 “Bypass”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, William Daniels claims the show as his own.

Episode 1.2 “Bypass”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 9th, 1982)

“Hey, it’s Tim Robbins!”

Yes, the future Oscar winner shows up in the second episode of St. Elsewhere, playing a rich kid-turned-terrorist named Andrew Reinhardt.  Reinhardt, who no doubt learned all about Marxism during his first semester away at college, set off a bomb in a bank, killing two people and putting a woman named Kathleen McCallister into a coma.  Both Reihnhardt and McCallister have been brought to St. Eligius.  While Kathleen’s husband, Stephen (Jack Bannon), sobs in the hallway, Reinhardt acts like a petulant brat in his hospital room.

With the nurses refusing to change his sheets or even give him his morphine shots, it falls to Dr. Morrison to take care of him.  Reinhardt is not at all appreciative and Morrison finds himself conflicted.  How is he supposed to give proper medical treatment to someone who he despises?  Morrison is so conflicted that he even goes to Dr. Westphall.  Westphall responds by telling a long story about a time that he fell in love with a patient.  I’m getting the feeling that Morrison feeling conflicted and Westphall telling long stories are both going to be regular features on this show.

(The correct answer to Morrison’s question about how he can take care of a bad person is as follows: It’s your job and you’re getting paid to do it.)

This episode also gave the viewer a chance to get to know Dr. Craig, the very talented but very egotistical head of surgery who is played by the great William Daniels.  Dr. Craig holds a press conference to inform reporters about the conditions of both Reinhardt and Kathleen McCallister and declares that, despite its bad reputation, “St. Eligius is the place to be!”  He then proceeds to get angry when the press is more interested in talking to the surgeon who actually saved Kathleen’s life than to him.

Dr. Craig browbeats a Mr. Broadwater (Robert Costanzo) into getting bypass surgery done.  The surgery appears to have been a success but it’s hard to ignore that Craig essentially bullied the guy into getting a major operation, one that could have killed him if the least little thing had gone wrong.  Resident Victor Ehrlich (Ed Begley, Jr.) assists in the operation and, at one point, Dr. Craig intentionally head butts him when Ehrlich cannot name all of the arteries leading into the heart.  It’s a bit aggressive but, on the plus side, Ehrlich does learn all of the names.  Afterwards, Dr. Craig brags about how his own son is following in his footsteps and tells Mr. Broadwater’s son that some day, a new Dr. Craig will operate on him.  In other words, Dr. Craig is kind of a jerk but he’s good at what he does and he’s played by William Daniels so it’s hard to hold anything against him.

There were other subplots playing out in the background, the majority of which just seemed to be there to remind us that St. Elsewhere is an ensemble show and that, just because someone isn’t a major character in this episode, that doesn’t mean they won’t be important later on.  Psychiatrist Hugh Beale (G.W. Bailey) attempted to learn how to swim and ended up taking a class with a bunch of children.  Dr. Fiscus (Howie Mandel, the least convincing doctor ever) held court in the cafeteria and claimed that the hormones used in processing food were causing children to develop earlier than ever before.  Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox) wandered around with a bunch of X-rays and begged everyone he met to help him understand what he was (or wasn’t) seeing.  If nothing else, this episode did a good job of capturing the idea of the hospital as being a place that’s always busy.

For the most part, though, it was Dr. Craig who carried this episode.  While Morrison and Westphall ponderously considered the implications of doing their jobs, Craig was an arrogant, angry, and brilliant dynamo and William Daniels’s high-energy performance was a pleasure to watch.  Whenever the episode started to slow down, Dr. Craig would liven things up by yelling at someone.  The hospital was lucky to have Dr. Craig and St. Elsewhere was lucky to have William Daniels.