Tag Archives: television

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.14 “All That Glitters”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, a conman seeks refuge in a church.

Episode 3.14 “All that Glitters”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 7th, 1987)

There’s a fire raging in the city and elderly homeowners are being forced to evacuate.  “Father” Jonathan and “Father” Mark open up an abandoned church so that the people have some place to stay while the fires are burning.  Good for them and also good for this show for finally acknowledging Catholicism.

Also hiding out in the church and disguised as a priest is Charley Trapola (John Pleshette), a con artist who, despite his criminal profession, actually has a good heart.  Charley has a briefcase with him, one that is full of money.  A group of criminals want the briefcase back but, at least initially, they know better than to try anything in the church.  Instead, they decide to wait for Charley to come out.  Inside the church, Charley gets to know Wanda (Didi Conn), a shy but kind-hearted woman who goes to Confession every day.

This episode was okay.  Usually, when Jonathan and Mark go undercover as clergyman, they’re portrayed as being wishy-washy Episcopalians or vaguely liberal Methodists so I was happy that they were Catholic for this episode.  John Pleshette and Didi Conn were both well-cast as this episode’s guest stars.  They eventually made for a very sweet and likable couple.  My main issue with this episode is that it tried to do a bit too much.  Not only did we have Charley being chased by the gangsters but we also had Wanda dealing with her shyness and Mark and Jonathan dealing with the people were seeking shelter and looking for their loved ones.  This episode — and not that weird marriage counseling episode — would have benefitted from an extra hour.  As it was, it just felt a bit overstuffed.  As well, this is another episode in which Jonathan reveals early on that he’s angel and, oddly enough, Charley has no hesitation about believing him.  I always prefer the episodes where Jonathan doesn’t reveal who he really is.  When Jonathan reveals that he’s an angel, it almost seems like cheating.  The show is always more effective when people decide to open up their hearts on their own as opposed to doing so because they feel they’ve been ordered to.

There’s an odd scene where the three thugs break into the church and pull a gun on Jonathan.  After Jonathan gives them fair warning about “the boss,” the main thug attempts to shoot Jonathan.  Needless to say, the bullets don’t have any effect on an angel.  However, a sudden blue lights fills the church and suddenly, the three men are apparently zapped out of existence.  Jonathan later jokes that he’s not sure where the three men are but that they probably aren’t happy.  So, did the three men go straight to Hell?  Are they dead?  I understand the logic behind the scene but it’s not really something you expect from a show where the main theme is usually that everyone has a chance for redemption.

Next week, Dick Van Dyke plays a homeless puppeteer …. uh oh.  This sounds like it could a little bit cringey …. well, we’ll see.

 

 

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.3 “Aloha”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Even by Malibu CA standards, this week’s episode is incredibly stupid.

Episode 2.3 “Aloha”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 23rd, 1999)

Peter can’t figure out why no one is coming to his restaurant.

Gee, Peter, maybe it’s because your idiot sons work there and are constantly screwing everything up.  Maybe it’s because your only waitress is constantly complaining about everything in the most overdramatic way possible.  (Seriously, after only three episodes, Lisa — the Malibu CA character, not me! — is perhaps the most annoying human being ever.)  Maybe that all has something to do with it….

No, actually, it’s because there’s a new restaurant called Aloha, which features the Cocoanuts, a group of girls who wear bikinis and dance while the patrons are eating.  I can’t imagine anyone going to this restaurant on a date but apparently, all of the single men on the beach love it.  Murray has eaten at the restaurant 21 times in a row!  Jason and Scott go down to Aloha with their father and Jason immediately starts dancing with the girls.  Peter accuses both Jason and Murray of betraying him.

It’s easy to laugh at Peter’s misfortune, especially since it’s his own damn fault for being a terrible business owner.  But when he announces that he might lose the restaurant because he stupidly took out a loan, Jason and Scott bully Murray into using his trust fund to invest in The Lighthouse.  Co-owner Murray wants to have a pirate night.  “Arggh!” Peter says.

Anyway, Jason and Scott eventually bully Murray into applying to be one of the Cocoanuts and after Murray is hired, everyone stops going to Aloha and they return to the Lighthouse because there are only two restaurants in Malibu.  Myself, I’m wondering how exactly Murray got hired.  On the show, it’s suggested that Murray was hired because, otherwise, he would have sued the owner of Aloha for sex discrimination.  That’s not exactly how that law works, though.  Even if the owner did hire Murray to work at Aloha, he wouldn’t be required to make Murray one of the dancers.  He could have just used Murray as a waiter or dishwasher or …. WAIT ON MINUTE!  Murray already has a job!  Just two episodes ago, he was working at The Lighthouse!  What the Hell!?

There’s an equally stupid B-plot.  Traycee wants to date the guy who changes out the coke machine on the beach.  He’s not into flashy celebrities who Traycee works a dark wig and glasses and pretends to be a librarian.  It all seems to be working until he sees Traycee in a bikini and realizes that she’s not actually a librarian …. WHAT!?  Why would Traycee, whose entire life is about being famous, like this guy in the first place?  And why are Lisa (the character, not me!) and Stads still on the show when its obvious that the show really doesn’t have anything for either of them to do?  It would perhaps help if Lisa and Stads didn’t both have exactly the same killjoy personality.  Anyway, Traycee ends up single again but she lands on the cover of Soap Opera Digest.

God, this show was stupid.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.18 “His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love, exciting and new …. come aboard, they’re expecting you….

Episode 5.18 “His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)

Wilfred (Tom Smothers) is a single guy who tells the crew that he’ll pay $10,000 to whoever helps him find a wife on the cruise.  The members of the crew each introduce Wilfred to a different woman and soon, Wilfred has five women following him all over the boat.  However, when Isaac hears Wilfred bragging about how he conned the crew into doing all the work for him and how he was lying about the $10,000, the crew hires Marilyn (Connie Stevens), who runs the ship’s flower shop, to pretend to Wilfred’s wife.

Ha!  Joke’s on Wilfred!  No wait, the joke’s on the crew.  Marilyn and Wilfred fall in love.  Meanwhile, Julie remains single.

Meanwhile, Howard Ethan (Dick Van Patten) boards the ship with his loyal and superefficient secretary, Doris (Rue McClanahan).  Doris is a great secretary but when Howard finds out that Cindy Nevins (Judy Landers) is looking for a secretarial job, he tries to figure out how to get Doris to quit so that he can hire Cindy.  Maybe he and Doris could just fall in love.  Myself, I wonder why people were always doing work while on The Love Boat.  Isn’t a cruise supposed to be a vacation?  And yet, every episode seemed to feature someone determined to spend the cruise in their cabin and getting some work done.  I appreciate the spirit, I guess.  I mean, I write film reviews while I’m on vacation so I guess I can relate.  But still, if you’re going to pay for a luxury cruise, wouldn’t you at least want to use it as an excuse to forget about your responsibilities on the mainland?

Finally, Bess Hensinger (Vera Miles) boards the boat with her daughter, Abigail (Denise Miller).  Abigail is stunned to learn that Bess invited a boy that Abigail likes to join them on the cruise.  How will Jim (James Osmond) react if he discovers that Abigail has …. scoliosis!?  This storyline was actually the best of the episode, if just because it was the only one where the male half of the romantic pairing didn’t come across as being totally sleazy.  Jim was a genuinely nice guy and, needless to say, he didn’t care that Abigail has scoliosis.  Denise Miller give an excellent performance as the insecure Abigail.  As an asthmatic teenager, I always dreaded the thought of using my inhaler in front of other people so I could relate to what Abigail was going through.  I may not have cared about the other two stories but I was happy things worked out for Jim and Abigail.

One good story out of three is usually not something brag about but Abigail and Jim were such a winning couple that they really did make this episode worth the trouble.  Despite Wilfred and Howard, this was a good cruise.

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 8: The Other Image (originally aired October 29th, 1966)

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Episode 8 begins with Sam Grafton (Sam Gilman) riding up to the Starett cabin as Shane (David Carradine), Tom (Tom Tully). Marian (Jill Ireland), and Joey (Christopher Shea) are chopping and stacking wood. He has a new plow for the family, and he also has a letter that has arrived for Marian from Boston. The letter is from Mr. Warren Eliot (Robert Brown), a handsome former boyfriend who is now a state Senator in Massachusetts. His letter explicitly states the fact, and also reminds Marian, that she was once “the most beautiful girl in Boston.” Tired of working like a mule for little or no appreciation and only discussing things like plow handles and wood for the winter, Marian is excited when Warren’s letter announces that he is coming for a visit. This throws the household, and Shane, into quite a tizzy. And it gets even worse when Warren arrives, for everyone but Marian and Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) that is. Marian feels like she’s 18 again, and Ryker sees this as an unexpected opportunity to get the Starett’s and Shane out of the valley. Spending their days riding horses and talking about the old times, the new times, and everything in between, Warren eventually asks Marian to marry him and go back to Boston. Marian is unable to say yes or no immediately and asks for a little time to think about it, especially since it would be such a big change for Joey. Of course, all of this puts Shane in a pissy mood, but he still won’t tell Marian exactly how he feels, even though she presses him about it a couple of times. Will Marian agree to marry the dashing Warren Eliot? Will Ryker finally get his hands on the Starett land? Will Joey and his turtle have to travel across the country? Will Shane have to pull up stakes and move on down the trail? I think you probably know the answers, but the fun is always in watching it unfold! 

Near the end of my review of episode 7, I made the following comment, “I don’t think they (Shane and Marian) look at each other longingly a single time, which did make me a little sad. Here’s hoping they’ll double that up in Episode 8!” All I can say is be careful what you wish for. In this episode, Marian and her old boyfriend, now Senator Eliot, take center stage. And Shane is off to the side sulking most of the time while Marian is basking in all the compliments and attention. I was kind of hoping that Warren would turn out not to be quite as perfect as he first appears, you know, one of those deals where he has duplicitous motives or something. But no, he really is just about perfect. And Shane, poor Shane… you would think that he might finally tell Marian how he really feels about her. But not our Shane. When she point blank asks him what he thinks she should do, with a little hope in her voice that he might try to talk her out of it, his response is “you’d be crazy not to say yes.” And then he goes off to sulk some more. At the end of the day, I can’t help but wonder if Shane doesn’t have a hell of a point! But the heart wants what the heart wants, and it doesn’t always make sense. 

As for the moments where Shane and Marian look longingly at each other, this episode does indeed double up with a couple of doozies. The first time is when Shane tells her that he introduced himself to Warren earlier that day at Grafton’s as her “hired man.”  She tells Shane that “you know you’re family. You know that don’t you Shane? Don’t you?” As Shane is hitching up his horse to leave, she runs out the door and stares at him, then he stares at her and then does a double take, and then she stares at him some more. Even I started to get a little uncomfortable! And there was another scene late in the episode where they chop wood together late in the evening that has be serving as a metaphor for making love or something. They are working that wood together and looking at each other and sweating. The scene ends with her saying “it’s good to be needed,” to which he replies, “yeah” while somewhat out of breath. From that point forward, we know poor Warren doesn’t stand a chance. I’ve never watched any of these episodes before starting this series of reviews, so I had no idea this was coming when I finished up last week’s review. Needless to say, Episode 8 fulfilled my quota of sexual tension between the two for at least the next few episodes combined! 

Overall, while I did enjoy episode 8, I must admit that it’s not one of my favorite episodes so far, especially with Shane coming off more like lovelorn teenager than a tough gunslinger for most of the episode. The resolution is a little silly as well, with Shane and Warren actually teaming up in a bar fight with Ryker’s men. But with that said, the writers must be credited for providing me exactly what I asked for in my last review, in spades. So, thank you Jack Schaefer and Ellen Violett! As we’re reaching the midway point of the complete series, I’m looking forward to what episode 9 has to offer. 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.7 “Heatwave”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, there’s a heatwave on the beach!

Episode 1.7 “Heatwave”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 13th, 1996)

A heatwave has hit Santa Monica!  Everyone is sweltering and the cameras of Pacific Blue are there to record every drop of sweat.  The AC at Chris’s apartment is not working so, while she waits for it to get repaired, she moves in with TC.  What will TC’s girlfriend think of that?  Actually, she won’t think anything about that because her character disappeared after the pilot.

As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that the show’s writers really seemed to have no idea who the characters actually were.  Instead of coming across like actual human beings, every character has one personality trait that the writers insist on hammering into every scene.  Chris is always complaining about something.  Even after TC offers to let her stay at his apartment, Chris complains.  Chris complains so much that it actually becomes a bit whiny on her part.  But it’s not really Chris’s fault.  It’s the fault of the writers who obviously assumed that writing a “strong woman” meant making her act like a bitch no matter what the situation.  TC’s character trait is that he has a permanent chip on his shoulder even though every episode so far has essentially been a TC love fest.  He’s second-in-command of the bike cops.  He’s never held responsible for his mistakes.  He comes from a rich family.  Lt. Palermo praises him nonstop.  And yet TC always seems like he’s bitter about something.  And, as with Chris’s permanent bad mood, it’s just because the show’s writers didn’t bother to give him a personality beyond always acting like he has something to prove.  The episodes hints at an attraction between Chris and TC but they would really be a terrible couple.

This episode finds a radio sex therapist (Maura Peters) being stalked by Jordan Crane (Denis Forest, playing the same type of creepy psycho that he played on multiple episodes of Friday the 13th), a listener who is obsessed with her and who murders anyone who he thinks is getting too close to her.  TC has a crush on the sex therapist.  Chris dislikes the sex therapist and thinks TC is dumb because of course she does.  Chris and TC run afoul the homicide detective, Bart Browning (Barry Lynch), who is investigating the case.  Browning doesn’t have much respect for cops who ride bicycles.  Palermo, Chris, and TC go out of their way to change his mind.

So, yes, this is yet another episode where Pacific Blue tries to convince us that cops on bikes aren’t as dorky and useless as they look.  Every time Browning makes fun of them, we get a shot of the bike cops chasing a thief or investigating a lead.  The problem is that Browning does have a point.  The cops do look really silly on their bikes.  The fact that they often have to pick up and carry their bikes doesn’t help.  And listen, this is not an anti-bicycle thing.  I have a bike,  I occasionally ride it in the park.  (What I don’t do is ride it in the middle of the street.)  When you’ve got asthma like me, cycling is a good way to keep your lungs healthy.  But if I need the police, I want to see a squad car and I don’t want to have to deal with anyone wearing shorts.

While this is going on, Victor and Cory investigate a thief who hires strippers to perform in stores and bars.  While everyone is distracted, the thief robs the place.  This storyline actually did make me laugh a little.  All of the male witnesses could perfectly describe the strippers but none of them even saw the man sneaking behind the counter with a gun.  In the end, the thief is captured in an elaborate undercover sting.  Cory and Chris pretend to be the dancers while Palermo pretends to be the bartender and the thief soon discovers everyone else in the bar is a cop as well.  At least in this storyline, Chris’s bad mood had to do with being annoyed with the objectification of women as opposed to being mad because someone offered her a place to stay so she wouldn’t die of heatstroke.

Finally, Elvis discovers a lot of holes on the beach and thinks that the aliens are coming.  It turns out that a local golf course was just stealing the sand for their sand traps.  I’m glad that worked out!

As much as I’ve complained, this episode of Pacific Blue was a slight improvement over the previous few episodes, if just because the the subplots were vaguely interesting and/or amusing.  Chris and TC continue to be the weakest part of the show.  Hopefully, they’ll get some new personality traits soon.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.6 “The Beautiful Skeptic/The Last Platoon”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, someone tries to expose Fantasy Island!

Episode 6.6 “The Beautiful Skeptic/The Last Platoon”

(Dir by Ricard Montalban, originally aired on November 27th, 1982)

Your eyes do not deceive you.  This episode was directed by Mr. Roarke himself, Ricardo Montalban!

The main fantasy deals with Jack Oberstar (Gary Frank), who wants to go back to World War II so that he can find proof that his brother, Ken (Steve Kanaly), was killed in action and did not, as the army claims, desert and become a black market smuggler.  After the customary warnings from Mr. Roarke, Jack finds himself serving alongside his brother in France.  Jack not only gets to bond with his brother but he also discovers that it was the evil Galloway (Don Stroud) who stole his brother’s identity and went on to become a criminal.  Ken did die heroically but, without his dog tags, he was misidentified.  No sooner does Jack learn all this then he finds himself back in the present.  Jack is happy to know the truth but he regrets not having returned with proof.

However, Mr. Roarke reveals that, while Jack was having his fantasy, a career criminal died while serving a life sentence in France.   By checking his fingerprints, the authorities discovered that the criminal was Galloway, who was long believed to have died in World War II.  Jack realizes that he can now argue that Galloway stole Ken’s identity!  He’s happy, even if he doesn’t have his definite proof.  Myself, I started thinking about how different the world must have been in the days before DNA testing.  Today, Jack presumably wouldn’t even have to go Fantasy Island to prove that the body buried in “Galloway’s” grave was actually his brother.

As for the other storyline, it features Connie Stevens as journalist Christine Connelly, who is determined to prove that Mr. Roarke is a fake.  She tells Roarke that she interviewed eleven former guests and all of them were happy with how their fantasies went.  Christine argues that there’s no such thing as “eleven satisfied customers,” which is a weird way to put it.

Christine brings along two people who have fantasies.  Jay (Jimmie “JJ” Walker) wants to win a weight-lifting competition, despite being Jimmie “JJ” Walker.  Luckily, Roarke has some magic chalk dust that allows Jay to do just that.  (You have to feel bad for everyone who actually wasted their time training for the competition.)  Frank (Herb Edelman ) wants to be reunited with his estranged wife, Connie (Ruta Lee).  This actually proves somewhat difficult, as Connie really doesn’t want to see Frank.  But it turns out that this is because Connie thinks that Frank is having an affair with Christine.  I’m not sure that Roarke reunited Connie and Frank is really greater proof than Jimmie Walker winning a strongman competition but the important thing is that Christine learns to be less of a cynic and to open her mind to the magic of Fantasy Island.

This was not a bad trip to the Island.  Much as Mr. Roarke did with the Island, Ricardo Montalban kept the episode moving quickly and efficiently.  It’s interesting that Fantasy Island started out as this place that was shrouded in mystery but, by the sixth season, it was apparently well-known enough to attract the attention of tabloid television.  In the end, Mr. Roarke proved his good intentions and protected the Island.  Good for him!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.9 and 3.10 “Drive, Lady, Drive”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, it’s a special two-hour episode of CHiPs!

Episodes 3.9 and 3.10 “Drive, Lady, Drive”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 10, 1979)

The police at nearby Palma Vista are on strike and the state of California has agreed to allow some members of the Highway Patrol to patrol the town until the strike is over.  Getraer assigns Baker, Ponch, Bear, and some new guy named Lenny (Leon Isaac Kennedy) to head over to the town,  Baker is named the OIC, which I eventually figured out stood for “Officer in Charge.”  Getraer knows better than to give the job to Ponch.

Ponch, by the way, is back!  After being absent for two episodes due to Erik Estrada actually injuring himself in a motorcycle crash, Ponch returns in this episode and he goes through the entire episode with this huge grin on his face as if he’s saying, “You know you missed me.”  Ponch’s return means that Baker is once again relegated to being the strong, silent partner who doesn’t really get to do anything.  In fact, Baker crashes his motorcycle early on in this episode, as if the show was trying to tell us, “See?  It could happen to anyone!”

The striking cops accuse Baker, Ponch, Bear, and Lenny of being scabs and strike breakers.  I’m not really a fan of public sector unions.  (When it comes to the police striking, my hero is Calvin Coolidge, who came to fame when he broke up a policeman’s strike in Massachusetts.)  Still, it felt strange to watch the show’s heroes cross that picket line.  That would definitely not happen on television today.

There’s a lot going on in Palma Vista.  There’s some rich kids who keep joyriding in a dune buggy and who think they can escape prosecution by crossing the city limits.  (Joke’s on them!  The Highway Patrol has jurisdiction everywhere!)  There’s some truck hijackers who are setting up a headquarters in town.  There’s an angry city councilman (Michael Conrad) who doesn’t feel his children should be held accountable for their actions.

That said, the majority of this two-hour episode centered on a stock car race and one of the racers, Candi Wright (Kelly Harmon).  Will Candi win the big race or will she lose to her friendly rival (and possible future romantic partner) Don Croyden (Jordan Clarke)?  Will Ponch be able to both date her and do his job?  And most importantly, will she be able to adopt a traumatized little girl (played by Tracey Gold) who Candi discovered outside of a burning house?  That’s a lot of storylines for someone who wasn’t even a regular cast member and a part of me wonders if maybe this episode was meant to be a secret pilot for a Candi Wright television series.  It would explain a lot.

This really was a basic episode of CHiPs, with the only real difference being that it was two-hours long for some reason.  A lot of what happened in the episode, especially the racing footage, felt like filler.  There was really no need for this to be a double-sized episode.  It also doesn’t help that, as opposed to the lovely Los Angeles scenery that we usually see, this episode took place in a rather ugly town.  There was some appropriately spectacular crashes but, in the end, this episode ran too long and felt a bit pointless.  Get the Highway Patrol back on the highways!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.18 “Lend Me An Ear”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs are both spectacularly bad at their jobs.

Episode 3.18 “Lend Me An Ear”

(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on February 27th, 1987)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice centers around Steve Duddy (John Glover), an eccentric former cop-turned-surveillance expert.  When the Vice Squad has trouble bugging the home and phone lines of a mysterious Greek criminal named Alexander Dykstra (Yorgo Voyagis), Crockett and Tubbs approach Duddy for help.  Little do they know that Dubby is also on Dykstra’s payroll.  Duddy sells them the bugs that they plant in Dykstra’s home.  Then Dykstra calls Duddy and Duddy removes them.  Dykstra doesn’t know that Duddy works for the cops and the cops don’t know that Duddy works for Dykstra.

It sounds like a pretty good deal for Steve Duddy, no?  But when Duddy witnesses Dykstra commit a murder that was caused by Dykstra using one of Duddy’s voice analyzers to discover whether or not her girlfriend was lying about cheating on him, Duddy decides to try to take down Duddy.  First, he calls the homicide department and, using a device to disguise his voice, he reports that Dykstra just killed someone.  When that doesn’t work, he splices together some recordings to make it appear as if Dykstra is setting up a crime.  When that doesn’t work and Dykstra decides to take out Duddy, Duddy just kills Dykstra and his men.  Crockett and Tubbs arrest him, charging him with interfering with an investigation.  The charges are ultimately dropped but, when Duddy returns to his home, he finds a video message from Crockett.  “I’ll be watching you!” Crockett says.

This was a strange episode, if just because the main theme seemed to be that the members of the Vice Squad weren’t that smart.  Not only were they repeatedly fooled by Duddy but also Dykstra as well.  Really, anyone with as much experience as Crockett and Tubbs should have been able to figure out what Duddy was doing.  Duddy’s reaction when he heard the 9-11 call (“Sounds like someone’s altering their voice!” Duddy says) should have been a dead giveaway that Duddy knew more than he was telling.  And yet, somehow, Crockett and Tubbs didn’t figure out anything strange was happening until the episode was nearly over.

Dykstra, incidentally, was not a drug dealer.  He was a money launderer and he really didn’t make much of an effort to hide that fact.  I figure it out pretty quickly.  But, again, it took Crockett and Tubbs nearly the entire episode to figure out what Dykstra’s business actually was.  Crockett and Tubbs just had a really off-week with this episode.

On the plus, John Glover was memorably odd as Duddy.  Up until he discovers Dykstra is a murderer, Duddy is having the time of his life playing both sides against each other and it’s actually kind of entertaining to watch.  Apparently, this was Duddy’s only appearance on Miami Vice.  That’s a shame because his character definitely had potential.

Next week: Viggo Mortensen, Annette Bening, and Lou Diamond Phillips all stop by Miami!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.12 “Natural Attraction”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

Welcome back to Degrassi Hiiiiiiiiiiiigh!

Episode 1.12 “Natural Attraction”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 23rd, 1990)

This week’s episode of Degrassi High centers around the Farrell twins.  I always have a bit of an issue with the Farrell twin episodes because I can never remember which one had the abortion and, beyond that, they’re really not that interesting as characters.  I know that one is more talkative than other and that the one who didn’t have an abortion ended up making out with Wheels at a party.  But again, personality-wise, they’re both kind of boring characters.

Anyway, this week, Erica is dating an 11th grader who reminds her of the boy who impregnated her over the summer.  (“Who does he remind me of?”  “Kyle, from the summer.”  “Oh yeah!”)  Heather is concerned that Erica is going to get pregnant again and they’re going to have to take another trip to the abortion clinic and once again run into that old woman with plastic fetus doll.  Erica doesn’t think her abortion was that big of a deal but it haunts Heather, who feels that she took part in a murder by accompanying Erica to the clinic.

And I will say this.  Particularly when compared to the way Degrassi: The Next Generation and Netflix Degrassi dealt with the issue of abortion, Degrassi High deserved a lot of credit for treating both sides fairly.  No one — whether they agree with Erica’s decision or not — is reduced to being a caricature on this show and that’s something that I personally appreciate.  That doesn’t necessarily make the Farrell twins any more interesting than they were before but even that feels like a good move on the show’s part.  Not everyone who has an abortion is interesting.  Sometimes, they’re kind of boring and have a habit of glaring at anyone who talks to their twin.

As for the rest of this episode, I’m going to guess that the show’s “stars” must have been on vacation because it’s pretty much dominated by students who usually don’t get storylines.  Dorothy (Annabella Waugh) encourages her friend Tessa Campanelli (Kirsten Bourne) to ask Scooter to the school dance.  This is the first episode to give Tessa storyline and, while it’s not much of a story, it is interesting for those of us who know the important role that Tessa is going to eventually play in the history of Degrassi.  As for Scooter, he doesn’t know how to slow dance so his friend Bart teaches him.

Meanwhile, Alison (Sara Holmes) and Amy (Jacy Hunter) get into a fight over the fact that Amy is going to the dance with Snake, despite the fact that Alison used to like Snake.  They end up getting into a big argument and throwing all of the clothes that they’ve borrowed from each other all over the girl’s restroom.  I could relate because, going to high school with my sister one grade above me, we certainly had our fights and arguments about …. well, exactly the same thing that Alison and Amy were fighting about.  But, at the same time, this is really the first episode in which Alison and Amy have been major characters.  I like that Degrassi High was an ensemble show but there were definitely times when the show would suddenly push a character into the spotlight without giving the audience any opportunities to get to know the character ahead of time.  For instance, I had totally forgotten that Alison liked Snake.  Doesn’t she knows that Snake is destined to marry Spike?

Next week, Joey discovers he has a learning disability!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.3 “Extreme Unction”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the White Glove Killer is discovered.

Episode 3.3 “Extreme Unction”

(Dir by Keith Gordon, originally aired on October 28th, 1994)

For all the hours that Pembleton and the other detectives put in and for all the motives that were considered and the suspects were interviewed, the murderer of Katherine Goodrich and two other women is captured not through deductive brilliance but because she herself enters the police station.

When Pamela Wilgis (Lucinda Jenney) first enters the station, she claims to have just witnessed two men dumping the third victim.  Pembleton is dismissive of her until she mentions the white gloves, a detail that has not been released to the public.  While Pembleton talks to her, the other detectives check out Pamela’s apartment and discover 12 sets of white cotton gloves hanging in her bathroom.  Pamela is the murderer.

When Pembleton asks Pamela about the gloves, Pamela suddenly starts speaking in an Irish accent.  Later, she starts speaking like an angry and rebellious child.  Later still, she reverts to being a wide-eyed innocent who says she had no idea how she ended up in the interrogation room.  Pembleton is convinced that she’s faking her alternate personalities but, despite his best efforts, he can never get her to actually confess that she committed the murders.

From the start, Homicide has emphasizes the role of luck in solving murders.  The majority of the show’s murders are solved precisely because someone thought they could outsmart the police or because they made a very obvious error.  For all of Pembleton’s strengths in the Box, his interrogation technique works best when he’s dealing with someone who doesn’t understand how the system works.  Pamela, on the other hand, obviously understands what he’s trying to do.  She knows the system and she knows how to game it.  Pamela does eventually confess but not Pembleton.  Instead, she does an interview with the obnoxious reported played by Tony Todd, blaming her crimes on the abuse she suffered as a child and her dissociative disorder.  Pembleton’s pride is hurt but he also finds himself struggling with his faith.  How can Pamela, after killing three saintly women, now avoid paying for her crimes?  Even with the thrilling interrogation scene between Pembleton and Pamela and the excellent performances of Andre Braugher and Lucinda Jenney, it’s all feels a bit anticlimactic.  But it also feels appropriate for the world in which Homicide takes place.

This episode also wrapped up a few other plotlines.  Munch, Bayliss, and Lewis finally own their bar.  Good for them.  I’m not really a bar person or a drinker but I probably would have enjoyed visiting the Waterfront whenever Munch was working the bar.  Even more importantly, Felton returned to his mentally unstable wife.  And again, that’s a good thing if just because I was getting sick of listening to Felton whine about his marriage.  So was Kay.

This episode was effective enough.  The scenes between Andre Braugher and Lucinda Jenney alone made the episode memorable.  At the same time, as I watched, it occurred to me that, if this episode had aired during the first season, the White Glove Murders probably never would have been solved.  If Adena Watson had died during the third season, one can be sure Bayliss would have gotten a confession out Risley Tucker.

Next week, we find out why Detective Crosetti has yet to return from Atlantic City.