Scenes That I Love: William Shatner Interprets Rocket Man


Today, we wish a happy 95th birthday to the one and only William Shatner!

In this scene that I love, William Shatner performs Rocket Man at the 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards (better known as the Saturn Awards).

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 3.7 “Hate On Your Dial”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, Johnny screws up, making the type of mistake that Ryan never would have!

Episode 3.7 “Hate On Your Dial”

(Dir by Allan Eastman, originally aired on November 6th, 1989)

This week’s cursed antique is an old car radio from 1954.  Smear it with the blood of someone who has just died and the car will transport you back to …. 1954.  That seems like an oddly specific curse and a kind of pointless one.  What if the car radio ends up in the possession of someone who doesn’t care about 1954?

(And, to make clear, Jack does specifically state that the curse involves going back to 1954.)

The car radio does end up in the possession of Ray Pierce (Michael Rhoades), a racist auto mechanic who uses the car to go back to 1954 so that he can hang out with his father in Mississippi.  His father (Martin Doyle) is a member of the Klan, along with his friend, Joe (played, in an early performance, by Henry Czerny).  The 1954 scenes are filmed in black-and-white.  When the show travels back 1954, the first thing we see is an “I Like Ike” billboard, featuring Dwight Eisenhower and a Confederate flag.  Obviously, someone in the show’s Canadian writer’s room didn’t know who supported segregation in 50s and who didn’t.  There was a political party wrapping itself in the Confederate flag in 1950s Mississippi but it wasn’t the Republicans and their candidate wasn’t Dwight Eisenhower.

This episode features Johnny making another one of his trademark mistakes, this time selling the cursed radio to Ray’s “slow” brother, Archie (played by Cronenberg regular Robert A. Silverman).  Only after Johnny sells it does he realize it was probably cursed.  Micki yells at him for not checking the manifest before selling it.  Then Jack yells at him too.  Jack remains angry with him for nearly the entire episode.  It’s understandable that Jack would be upset but then again, maybe they shouldn’t have left inexperienced Johnny alone in the shop in the first place.  Maybe they shouldn’t even be selling antiques at all.  That would definitely solve the problem.

Anyway, this episode featured some of the worst Southern accents that I’ve ever heard and it also featured a cursed objects that didn’t make much sense.  Johnny learned an important lesson about being careful about selling things and I guess that’s a good thing.  That said, Ryan never would have made that mistake!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.16 “The Count”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s time to go under the knife in Boston.

Episode 1.16 “The Count”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired March 8th, 1983)

Harold Beaumont (Michael Halsey), an adult film actor better known as The Count, has checked into St. Eligius.  Of course, Dr. Samuels immediately recognizes him because Samuels is obsessed with porn.  Dr. Annie Cavanero does not recognize him but, once she learns what he does for a living, she has to tell him that she finds his work to be offensive because Dr. Cavanero’s entire personality pretty much revolves around getting offended by stuff.

It’s not much of a plot.  There’s a process server (William G. Schilling) who wants to serve the Count with a courts summons so Samuels and Cavanero help the Count hide and disguise his identity.  It’s silly and dumb story that involves the two of the least likable members of the show’s regular cast.

Meanwhile, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) comes to suspect that one of the hospital’s heart surgeons, Dr. Larry Andrews (Peter Michael Goetz), is giving pacemakers to people who don’t actually need them.  She takes her concerns to Dr. Craig.  Craig, an old friend of Dr. Andrews, is initially dismissive but he later confronts Dr. Andrews and finds out that Armstrong was correct.  Dr. Andrews explains that it takes a lot of money to fund his lifestyle.  This story was an improvement over the Count but it perhaps would have had more power if it had been someone like Dr. Ehrlich who suspected that Dr. Andrews was giving people pacemakers that they don’t need.  Ehrlich actually has a complicated relationship with Dr. Craig and his own less-than-stellar record as a resident would have added some ambiguity to storyline.  Dr. Armstrong, on the other hand, has been portrayed as being hypercompetent and a bit self-righteous and, if we’re going to be honest, she’s kind of a boring character.

Speaking of Dr. Ehrlich, he is getting fed up with living with Fiscus.  Howie Mandel is driving someone crazy?  Who could have seen that coming?

This week’s episode was pretty forgettable.  The story involving Dr. Andrews had potential but choosing to make the show’s least interesting characters the center of an entire episode was a decision that really didn’t pay off.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 3.17 “A Night To Remember”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark go back to high school, just in time for prom!  I went to four proms over the course of my high school years and I loved every one of them.  There is no greater American tradition!

Episode 3.17 “A Night To Remember”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 28th, 1987)

It’s time for the prom!

Danny (Mitchell Anderson) wants to ask out Melanie (Kimberly MacArthur) but can’t bring himself to do it because he’s feeling insecure about the fact that his father lost his engineering job and is now working at a gas station.  Danny makes extra money working at the local pizza joint but he loses his job when he throws a punch at bully Richard Davies (J. Eddie Peck, future star of Lambada).

Sammy (Joel Hoffman) wants to ask his lifelong friend, Kate (Susan Savage).  But Sammy feels insecure because he’s short.  When he tries to buy lifts to make himself taller, Richard calls him out right when he’s about to ask out Kate.  Sammy is an aspiring stand-up comedian and he’s on the verge of dropping out of school all together.  “I can be a comedian or a teenager but I can’t be both!”

Don’t worry, though.  Jonathan is their new social studies teacher.  And Mark is the coach of the girl’s volleyball team because every assignment is designed, in some way, to humiliate Mark.  In this case, Mark takes a volleyball to the nose and spends the entire episode worrying that it’s broken.  Mark really can’t catch a break (heh) on this show.  He has to drive everywhere.  He’s usually the one who has to do all of the hard physical work while Jonathan just appears wherever he wants.  Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a union for human angel helpers but then again, it’s not like Mark ever seems to get paid for all of his hard work.

Anyway, the stakes aren’t particularly high in this episode.  Both Danny and Sammy eventually find the courage to ask their dates to the prom, though Danny doesn’t do it until he’s actually at the prom.  And both of them take some time to tell off Richard.  “Still wearing your mother’s underwear?” Sammy asks and Richard turns a dark shade of red as if Sammy has accidentally guessed his greatest secret.

I actually always like these episodes where Jonathan and Mark become teachers.  They’re not as depressing as the ones where they end up working at a shelter or a retirement home.  This episode was just about giving the students the best prom ever and that’s okay.  Not everything needs to be a huge drama!  Sometimes, you just need a night to remember.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.6 “Dancing Fools”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Eh, this show.  I’m never looking forward to having to watch this show.

Episode 2.6 “Dancing Fools”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 13th, 1999)

Here’s how the imdb describes the plot of this week’s episode of Malibu, CA:

Lisa receives a gift (a human skeleton!) from a secret admirer. Scott finds out that Murray is the one who sent it to her. Lisa needs an additional $1800 for tuition. Jason tells her about the swing dance contest at the Malibu Country Club with a prize of $2000. When she finds out Murray and family are all members, she gets him to be her partner for the contest.

Wow, that sounds stupid!  In fact, it sounds so stupid that I’m relieved that it’s one of the few episodes of this show that has not been uploaded to YouTube.  I’ll keep this post here as a placekeeper in case I ever do get to see the episode but I’m not really planning on spending a lot of time looking for it, to be absolutely honest.  I’ve seen enough Peter Engel-produced sitcoms that I can imagine how this went.  Murray has a crush.  Lisa (the character, not me!) is dismissive until he dances with her at the Country Club and then she realizes that he actually is a great guy.  “Awwwwww!” the audience says.

In my imagination, it was a great episode!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.12 “A New Woman”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

Let’s celebrate Christmas early with Monsters!

Episode 3.12 “A New Woman”

(Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, originally aired on December 16th, 1990)

It’s the day before Christmas and businessman Tom (Thomas McDermott) is dying.  His wife, Jessica (Linda Thorson), want him to sign over the deed for several building that he owns so that she can kick out everyone who isn’t paying their rent.  His son (Dan Butler) thinks that is an inhumane thing to do on Christmas.  Tom’s doctor (Mason Adams) informs Jessica that she will be visited by three spirits that will help her change her ways….

And indeed, she is!  But these aren’t the ghosts that Charles Dickens made famous.  Instead, they’re horrifying zombies that are being led by Tom’s vengeful spirit.  That’s enough to scare Jessica into changing her ways.  She doesn’t want to become a zombie!  Who would?  It’s a Merry Christmas for all!

Monsters’s take on A Christmas Carol actually isn’t bad.  It takes a while to get going but the zombies are effectively frightening and Jessica’s terrifying night is full of ominous atmosphere and effective scares.  I guess my main problem with this episode was that the pacing was odd.  It seemed to take forever to get around to that doctor telling Jessica she would receive visitors from the other side.  And when the visitors did arrive, it was effective but it still felt a bit rushed.

Still, it was nice to see Monsters not only do a Christmas episode but also, in a rarity for this show, one that had a happy ending.

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 12: The Silent Gift (originally aired November 26th, 1966)


Episode 12 opens with Shane (David Carradine) and Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) looking over a beautiful Appaloosa colt. Shane wants to buy it for Joey (Christopher Shea) and offers Ryker $50. Ryker gets a good laugh at that, but he does make Shane a counteroffer: if Shane will work at his cattle ranch for one month, he’ll then let Shane have the colt for $50. Shane doesn’t really want to do it, but it’s important to him to get Joey the colt, so he agrees. Ryker allows Shane to go ahead and take the colt to the Starett ranch and give him to Joey. Of course, Joey is ecstatic and can’t wait to start taking care of him. Marian Starett (Jill Ireland) isn’t that happy with Shane about the deal to work for Ryker for a month, but it’s soon clear that no amount of protesting from her will stop Shane from doing this for Joey. 

The next day Shane is moving into Ryker’s bunkhouse for the month, and we begin getting a feel for the various men working for Ryker. The foreman Kyle (Jack Ging) immediately takes a disliking for Shane for no particular reason other than jealousy, I guess. He’s a real jerk, and he seems to have some kind of inferiority complex. In more modern times, it seems possible that Kyle might drive a big truck with swinging testicles attached to the trailer hitch. We also meet Jingles (J. Pat O’Malley), an older man who the other cowboys pick on for sport. He takes it because he doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers or get turned out by Ryker. Jingles tells Shane that this job is the only thing he has in life, and he doesn’t know what he’d do if he were to lose it. That night Ryker comes into the bunkhouse and tells Shane that there will be no fighting, and that if he puts his hands on one of his men, he’ll be fired and the deal for the colt is off. Shane just wants to keep his head down and work out his month and then get back to his life at the Starett ranch. Even though Shane works extremely hard and proves to be a good “hand,” it becomes clear that foreman Kyle is going to do everything he can to make his life a living hell. Will Shane be able to finish out a month at Ryker’s place and pay for Joey’s gift? Will Jingles tell the truth when Kyle picks a fight with Shane? Will Joey learn valuable lessons in life from the colt? Will Marian admit to Shane how much she misses him when he’s gone? All good questions: episode 12 has the answers! 

While it may be a slight step down from the sheer awesomeness of the prior installment, episode 12, “The Silent Gift,” is another fine episode of the Shane TV series. I mention the name of the episode because its use of the word “silent” captures part of what I enjoy so much about the series. Shane doesn’t say a lot throughout the entire series, but he continuously lets his actions prove out who he is as a person. In this case, his love for Joey is on full display because of what he does for him in this episode. Now don’t get me wrong, words are important, and I still tell my wife and children that I love them daily. But words are hollow if they’re not backed up by actions. Shane always backs up his words. Shane’s motives are the antithesis of a person like the foreman Kyle, who’s outwardly all bluster and bravado, but whose actions are fueled completely by lies and deceit. The character of Jingles, who seems like a nice enough old guy, is also shown to be in sharp contrast to Shane. Jingle’s life is controlled by fear and his actions are all about self-preservation. The sad truth is the fact that there are a lot more Kyle’s and Jingle’s in this world than there are Shane’s. On a positive note, the character arc of Jingles ultimately gives us hope that it’s never too late for any of us to do the right thing. 

The main guest stars in this episode, Jack Ging and J. Pat O’Malley, both caught my attention. Ging, who played foreman Kyle, looked very familiar to me. A look at his filmography shows he was the dad in WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (1974) and appeared in three different Clint Eastwood films a few years after appearing in this episode. One of the first books I remember reading purely for pleasure was “Where the Red Fern Grows.” I loved it so much and watched the movie many times growing up. To be honest, I haven’t thought about it for years, but now I’m hankering for a rewatch. And O’Malley, who played Jingles, also has an interesting filmography. He provided voiceover work for many classic animated films like ONE HUNDRED AND ONE DALMATIONS (1961) and THE JUNGLE BOOK (1967). And what really amazes me is the fact that he voiced characters in Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” attraction, including one of the prisoners coaxing the dog with the keys in his mouth. When you’ve been to Disney World as many times as I have, I now see O’Malley as a rock star! 

Shane’s relationship with Marian has one really good moment in this episode. When Shane is visiting the Starett ranch one night, Marian tells him how much they miss him, how much SHE misses him, when he’s gone. I believe she would have been open to a big kiss if Shane would have gone for it, but instead he just said “that’s nice to hear” before saying goodnight. Here’s one time I don’t agree with the action Shane takes. With only five more episodes to go, the romantic in me is still hoping for a big-time payoff in love! 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time to set sail for adventure, your mind on a new romance.  The Love Boat promises something for everyone so welcome aboard …. it’s love!

Episode 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 27th, 1982)

I tried, everyone.  Seriously, I really did try.

This week’s episode was a musical.  It’s not just that the crew of the Love Boat was putting together their first annual crew talent show.  It’s not just that Ethel Merman appeared as Gopher’s mom while Carol Channing played Julie’s aunt and Della Reese played Isaac’s mom while Ann Miller showed up as Doc’s former mother-in-law.  All of that was fine.  The episode was called The Musical and, looking at that guest list, I expected that the majority of this super-sized, two hour musical would feature the crew and their relatives rehearsing.  I was looking forward to it.  I’m a dancer.  Ann Miller’s one of my heroes.  Bring it on!

The problem was that the crew also sang and danced when they weren’t rehearsing.  Every few moments there was a big production number.  Some of them were entertaining.  Again, Ann Miller was there and I love watching her dance.  But most of the production numbers were pretty bad.  It quickly became obvious that the Love Boat crew was not made up of natural-born singers and dancers.  Fred Grandy tried really hard whenever he had to sing and he earnest dedication was charming but otherwise, most of the musical numbers fell flat.  Each number was followed by wild applause but, seeing as how The Love Boat was not shot in front of a live studio audience, it quickly became apparent that the applause — much like the laugh track — was being piped in.  Fake applause just made the whole thing feel …. not right.

I really wanted to like this episode but it just didn’t work for me.  If it had limited the singing and dancing to the talent show, it would have been fun.  But by turning the entire episode into a musical, it just became a bit too much, an experiment that ultimately didn’t work.

Do I sound like a feel guilty for not liking this episode?  Well, I guess I do.  Of all the shows that I review, The Love Boat is frequently my favorite and I really, really wanted to like this episode.  I could tell that the cast was doing their best.  I could tell that they probably had fun shooting this episode.  But, in the end, it just didn’t work.  I wanted it to work but it didn’t.

Oh well.  I applaud the show for experimenting, even if it didn’t quite come together.  Next week will be better!

A Preempted Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.13 “Second Chance”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

CHiPs got preempted this week, due to our Monday celebration of St. Patrick’s Day and Kurt Russell.  Here’s the late review of this week’s episode!

Episode 3.13 “Second Chance”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

Someone is breaking into the homes of rich people, stealing their jewelry, and then making a fast escape on a motorcycle.  I say “someone” but, actually, we know who it is because the show tells us early.  It’s a two-man operation.  One guy works as a valet parker at a trendy restaurant.  The other guy sits in his van until the first guy brings over the keys of whoever they’re going to rob.  We know it but the cops don’t know it so we still have to sit through Ponch and Baker investigating the robberies and somehow not figuring out what’s going on,  even though it’s extremely obvious.

So, the crimes weren’t that interesting this week.  This show was mostly about celebrating the local children’s hospital and, even more importantly, celebrating Ponch’s popularity at the local children’s hospital.  All the nurses love Ponch.  All the children love Ponch.  Only the recently paralyzed Kelli (Dana Laurita) is immune to Ponch’s charms but he wins her over eventually.  Given the way this show treated Ponch, I’m surprised he didn’t magically heal her.

In other words, this is another episode in which Baker does a lot of work and Ponch gets all the credit.  There are a few exciting chases, as there were with every episode of CHiPs.  Whatever else you may want to say about the show, it’s obvious that the producers understood that people were watching for the high-speed pursuits and the crashes.  This episode even features Ponch on a boat.  The bad guys can’t even swim away to safety!  Of course, it’s Ponch who got on the boat.  There’s no way that Baker was going to get do anything like that.  I’m surprised Ponch even needed a boat, to be honest.  If nothing else, Ponch should be able to walk on water by this point.

Anyway, it was an okay episode.  Ponch appears to be full recovered from his injuries from earlier in the season so watch out, bad guys!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.10 “Captive Audience”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

I’m a little bit late with this review but so what?  I mean, what’s Pacific Blue going to do?  Chase me on their bicycles?

Episode 1.10 “Captive Audience”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on May 4th, 1996)

The local bank is being robbed!  The three robbers — desperate and murderous criminals all — have taken hostages, including TC and Cory.  TC just wanted to check out his safe deposit box.  Cory just wanted to withdraw some money so she could buy a motorcycle.  (If she had been withdrawing the money to buy another bicycle, I would have thrown a shoe at my television.)  TC is in uniform.  The robbers know he’s a cop.  Cory is not in uniform and she and TC are pretending not to know each other.  There’s also a pregnant woman in the bank who goes into labor, which means that Cory is going to have to get over her loathing of babies to help deliver one!

*Sigh*

I think I’ve said before that I hate cop shows that feature people being held hostage.  It’s always the same thing.  The robbers threaten a lot of people.  The hostages get beaten and abused.  Outside the bank, the negotiator says, “You have to give me more time!”  On Pacific Blue, the negotiator is Captain Palermo and there’s something just silly about him, in his shorts and crisp polo shirt, directing a bunch of rough-and-ready SWAT team members who are in protective gear.  Hostage situations are serious and potentially deadly but Palermo chasing the robbers are on his bicycle just made me laugh and laugh.  I also laughed when the SWAT team first arrived at the bank and spotted Cory and TC’s bicycles sitting outside the building.  “There might be cops in there,” someone says.  Apparently, they’re unsure about whether or not bike cops should be considered real police or not.  I’m glad I’m not the only one.

It falls to Del Toro and Chris to track down Doc Mueller (Charley Lang), a paranoid electronics expert who lives in a tent on the beach.  He agreed to help disable the bank’s alarm so that the SWAT team can sneak inside.  He also taps into the head robber’s “cellular phone” so that the cops can see who he is working with on the outside.  Shows from the 90s are always amusing because everyone’s always like, “He’s got a cellular phone!”  In 1996, those were still unusual and only used by desperate bank robbers.

(On a positive note, one of the robbers is played by a handsome young actor named Walton Goggins.  What ever happened to him?  Seriously, there’s not much about his performance here that indicates the type of actor he would become but still …. WALTON GOGGINS!)

Everything works out, of course.  The main bank robber tries to escape in a helicopter but Palermo chases him — on his bike! — and manages to jump into the helicopter.  It would have been really impressive if not for the bicycle and the fact that the Pacific Blue uniforms — those shorts and those blindingly white shirts — make all of the characters look really silly.  It’s hard to take a cop seriously when he’s dressed like an aging track coach.  The important thing, though, is that Cory gets over her hatred of babies and Palermo shows that bike cops deserve as much respect as real cops.

Eh.  Who cares?