Ryan Todd | Through the Shattered Lens

Oh, Last Action Hero.

Ever since this film was first released in 1993, it’s usually held up as an example of a Hollywood fiasco. The script was originally written to be a modest satire of action films. The screenwriters wrote the character of Jack Slater, an movie action hero who comes into the real world, for Dolph Lundgren. Instead, the film became an Arnold Schwarzenegger extravaganza and the studio ended up tossing a ton of money at it. When the film was originally released, the reviews were mixed and the box office was considered to be disappointing. (That it went up against the first Jurassic Park was definitely an underrated issue when it came to the box office.) Ever since then, The Last Action Hero has had a reputation for being a bad film.

Well, I don’t care. I like The Last Action Hero. Yes, it’s a bit overproduced for a comedy. (It breaks my own rule about how no comedy should run longer than two hours.) Yes, it gets a bit sentimental with ten year-old Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) using a magic, golden ticket to enter the film world of his hero, Jack Slater. If you want to argue that the film should have devoted more time to and gone a bit deeper into contrasting the film world with the real world, I won’t disagree with you. But I will also say that Sylvester Stallone starring as The Terminator in Jack’s world was actually a pretty funny sight gag. Danny knowing better than to trust a character played by F. Murray Abraham made me laugh. Danny’s fantasy in which Arnold Schwarzenegger played Hamlet was made all the better by the fact that his teacher was played by Laurence Olivier’s wife, Joan Plowright. Danny DeVito as Whiskers the Cartoon Cat makes me laugh as well, even if it is perhaps a bit too bizarre of a joke for this particular film. (There’s nothing else about the Jack Slater films that would explain the presence of a cartoon cat.)

When you set aside the idea of the Last Action Hero being a symbol of Hollywood bloat and just watch it as a film, it emerges as an enjoyably goofy action movie, one that captures the joy of watching movies (because who hasn’t wanted to enter a movie’s world at some point in their life), and also one that features a rather charming performance from Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Schwarzenegger, I should add, plays both himself and Jack Slater. One of my favorite jokes is when the real Schwarzenegger is at a premiere and he mistakes the evil Ripper for Tom Noonan, the actor who played him in the previous Jack Slater film.) Yeah, the golden ticket is a little bit hokey but who cares? Underneath all of the special effects and action and money spent on star salaries, Last Action Hero is an action movie and comedy with a heart. Danny meets his hero but also gets to become a hero himself. And Jack Slater turns out to be everything you would hope your movie hero would be. In the end, it’s obvious that a lot of the criticism of this film has more to do with the appeal of riding the bandwagon as opposed to what actually happens on screen.

Last Action Hero is a movie that I’ll happily defend.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

It’s time to celebrate the holidays!

Episode 3.8 “All Through The House”

(Dir by Peter Medak, originally aired on December 16th, 1994)

It’s Christmas in Baltimore! Decorations are up. A heavy snow is falling. The Homicide Detectives are starting the night shift on Christmas Eve …. there’s no way this is going to be depressing, right?

Russert and Lewis (who no longer has a permanent partner because Crosetti committed suicide) investigate the murder of a woman who was set on fire. The victim’s mother (Nancy Marchand) is in the midst of throwing a Christmas party and refuses to acknowledge the fact that her daughter is dead. Instead, she obsesses on the amount of red decorations. It’s a human moment. How would you react if you found out a member of your family had been murdered on Christmas Eve?
Still, this storyline kind of reinforced the fact that it really doesn’t make much sense for Russert to be a regular on the show. She’s a shift commander but it’s a totally different shift from the one that the rest of the characters work. She was originally introduced having an affair with Beau but that appears to be over. Russert really has nothing to do and her choosing to work Christmas Eve didn’t really make much sense.
Scheiner, the crusty old medical examiner, shows up wearing a Santa hat. Assistant State’s Attorney Ed Danvers also makes an appearance. He mentions that he’s got someone coming to his apartment to celebrate Christmas Eve with him but Kay is working! Did they break up!?
Meanwhile, Bolander and Much investigate the mystery of a dead man dressed as Santa Claus….
SERIOUSLY, HOMICIDE!?
Much suggests that Santa was killed by angry elves.
Okay, Homicide, that made me laugh.
Munch thinks that the man is someone who has been ringing the bell for the Salvation Army for decades. Bolander says that they need to inform the man’s child….
STOP IT, HOMICIDE!
While Bolander goes to the morgue to try to get a positive ID on the guy, Munch sits in an apartment with a kid who want stop talking about how his father promised to spend Christmas Eve with him….
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, HOMICIDE!?
Munch takes the kid out. They go bowling. They hit some baseballs. The kid’s antagonistic and Munch is miserable.
Oh wait! The kid’s father is alive! Yay! It turns out that someone stole his Santa Claus outfit and that person — that thief of holiday joy — is the one who was brutally murdered while dressed as jolly old St. Nick.
Uhmm …. that’s still pretty depressing but at least the kid’s not an orphan.
Back at headquarters, a disheveled Bayliss tries to get someone to play Hearts with him because he needs to make some quick money.
Seriously, what’s happening with Bayliss? He went from being clean-cut and idealistic to being a somewhat seedy, convenience store-robbing burnout in record time!

Merry Christmas, everyone! This was a good episode, actually. Any episode that involves Munch getting frustrated is usually enjoyable and Russert and Lewis made for a good team. And, in the end, Santa was not dead. It’s a Christmas miracle!