Tag Archives: review

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.21 “Talk Nice To Me”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, someone won’t stop calling!

Episode 3.21 “Talk Nice To Me”

(Dir by Ernest Farino, originally aired on February 17th, 1991)

A sexist newspaper columnist named Martin (Ed Marinaro) starts receiving phone calls from a woman (Tina Louise) with a sultry voice.  She continually calls him, leaving message after message.  She refuses to reveal her name or how she got Martin’s unlisted “private” number.  (This episode aired during the landline era, before you could block numbers.)  Martin tries everything to get her to stop calling.  He disconnects his phone for two days but, as soon as he reconnects, she calls again.  Martin can’t work.  He can’t write.  When he invites Linda (Teri Ann Lind) over to his apartment, his paranoia prove to be a real turn-off.  He becomes convinced that the stalker has somehow entered his apartment.  The truth is even more twisted….

This episode had potential but it was let down by a rather cartoonish performance by Ed Marinaro.  I could buy Marinaro as a misogynist.  I could even buy Marinaro as a womanizer.  I couldn’t buy him as a successful newspaper columnist and, as a result, the whole “you’re going to lose your column!” subplot fell flat for me.  That said, Martin’s apartment was an appropriately claustrophobic location and the idea of the nonstop caller was suitably creepy.  This was not necessarily bad episode.  It’s just an episode that could have been better than it was.

Only three more episode to go and we will have finished up with Monsters.  Though uneven, the third season has still been a marked improvement over the first two.  Even the third season episodes that don’t work quite as well as they should, like this one, are watchable.

Brad reviews 10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983), starring Charles Bronson!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Charles Bronson is Leo Kessler, a veteran detective who’s seen it all and has grown sick of a system of justice that he thinks favors criminals over their victims. When girls start getting murdered, he immediately suspects the arrogant Warren Stacy, played by Gene Davis in the best role of his career. When Kessler and his partner Paul McCann (Andrew Stevens) start putting the pressure on Stacy, the killer responds by going after Kessler’s daughter Laurie (Lisa Eilbacher). Needless to say, our hero will do anything to stop the madman, ANYTHING!

10 TO MIDNIGHT is a special movie in my house because it’s my wife’s favorite Charles Bronson film, even when she didn’t have any overall appreciation for Bronson as an actor. Luckily for her, she had me to introduce her to the rest of the iconic actor’s voluminous catalog of movies. I saw 10 TO MIDNIGHT myself when I was pretty young, probably 13 or so. I remember being scared that first night after I watched the movie when I was trying to go to sleep. My wife and I watched it today on my old VHS tape that I’ve owned going back to the late 1980’s. 

There are several elements that elevate 10 TO MIDNIGHT above the average cop / slasher thrillers of the 1980’s. First, it’s Charles Bronson in the lead role. Bronson has such a strong presence on screen that his presence alone elevates almost any material. He looks great in the film, and the role gives him some good opportunities, as both a mentor to the young cop, and even more importantly, as a dad who wants to do better for his daughter. It’s a solid role that seems to fit Bronson like a glove. Second, we know from the very beginning of the movie that Warren Stacy is in fact the killer. We also know that the law seems to be working in his favor. And because of that, we’re on Kessler’s side as he goes to extreme lengths to stop his reign of terror. Finally, the script and director J. Lee Thompson go all in on the sex and violence. Examples include Stacy killing his often naked victims while he himself is in the nude. There is much talk in the film about items of a sexual nature and Stacy even has a sexual release device that almost has to be seen to be believed. It definitely adds a decadent and voyeuristic feel to the proceedings. And I haven’t even mentioned yet that it has one of the very best endings of any Bronson film, second only to THE MECHANIC, in my humble opinion.

I highly recommend 10 TO MIDNIGHT!

For a more detailed review of 10 TO MIDNIGHT, check out Lisa’s review from a couple of years back below:

Film Review: 10 to Midnight (dir by J. Lee Thompson)

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.3 “The Anniversary Gift/Honey Bee Mine/Bewigged, Bothered and Bewildered”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time so set sail for adventure, your mind on a new romance….

Episode 6.3 “The Anniversary Gift/Honey Bee Mine/Bewigged, Bothered and Bewildered”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on October 16th, 1982)

Oh my God, what did Julie do to her hair!?  I mean, I understand that it was the 80s and everything but Julie’s short, spiky look in this episode is not a good decision.  No wonder she’s so worried that she’s going to lose her boyfriend (Richard Bergman) to her old college friend, Honey Bee Harknest (Randi Oakes, taking a break from appearing on CHiPs to do The Love Boat).  Honey Bee has always stolen Julie’s boyfriends so, for this cruise, Julie lies and says that she’s dating Gopher.  Normally, Gopher would be happy about this but he’s already got a girlfriend to whom he’s trying to stay loyal.

(I’m going to guess that we’ll never see Julie’s boyfriend or Gopher’s girlfriend again after this episode.)

In other cruise news, Lynn Redgrave and Robert Mandan are taking a vacation to celebrate 20 years of wedded bliss.  Mandan is looking forward to traveling.  Redgrave wants to have another child.  You’ve probably already guessed where this storyline is heading.  Lynn Redgrave and Robert Mandan made for a surprisingly believable couple.  Redgrave was, of course, an Oscar nominee while Mandan was the best of the celebrity skaters to appear on the Roller Disco episode of CHiPs.

(There’s our second CHiPs reference of the review!  Woo hoo!)

Finally, Phyllis Diller plays an old classmate of Captain Stubing’s.  When Diller compliments Stubing on still looking young, Stubing starts to worry about how she’ll react when he removes his captain’s cap and reveals that he’s bald.  So, he starts wearing a toupee.  Oh, Captain Stubing!  To be honest, I do like episodes that allow Stubing to be emotionally vulnerable.  Gavin MacLeod always did a good job of suggesting the insecurity that lay underneath the commanding presence and that’s certainly the case with this episode.  That said, Stubing could take a lesson from Sgt. Getraer, who still manages to run things on CHiPs despite his thinning hair.

(Boom!  Three references to CHiPs in one review of The Love Boat.  That’s got to be a record.)

This was a pleasant cruise and it was directed by Isaac himself, Ted Lange!  Lange keeps the action moving and, as a director, he obviously knew how to get good performances out of his castmates.  Julia’s terrible hairstyle aside, this was a good trip on The Love Boat.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the beach gets dangerous.

Episode 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 6th, 1996)

There’s a lot going on in this episode, leaving me to wonder if maybe this episode was edited together from two or three other episodes that, for whatever reason, were never aired in their original form.  Seriously, it’s an oddly put together episode, with two very dramatic stories and one silly story and absolutely no tonal consistency whatsoever.

A kayaker keeps trying to kayak where he’s not wanted so two surfers beat him up.  When the kayaker continues to kayak, the two surfers break into his home and …. put his girlfriend in a coma?  Seriously?  That seems like an overreaction.  How exactly are these two getting away with this?  Every episode of Pacific Blue leaves me more and more convinced that bicycle cops are a terrible idea.  These surfers aren’t brilliant criminals or anything.  Real cops would have been able to stop them.

Even with his girlfriend in a coma, the kayaker continues to kayak.  So, the surfers punch out two other guys and steal their jet skis so they can chase the guy.  But the kayaker leads them under the pier, which leads to one surfer colliding with a wooden support beam and the washing up on the beach, where he’s promptly arrested by Palermo.

“She woke up,” Palermo explains, referring to the kayaker’s girlfriend.  Apparently, this whole thing was just a sting to arrest the surfers but did allowing the surfers to beat up two innocent jet ski owners play into the plan?  If the girlfriend woke up and identified them as her attackers, why not just arrest the surfers on the beach instead of making them chase the kayaker?

Yes, it’s good the guy’s girlfriend woke up but consider this.  She wouldn’t have been in a coma to begin with if Santa Monica had a real police force.  Seriously, how can two surfers cause this much havoc without getting arrested before it reaches the point that they’re breaking into someone’s house and putting his girlfriend into a coma?  It is explained that they have a lawyer who represents them free-of-charge in return for surfing lessons.  I can’t think of a single lawyer who would do that.  Most lawyers need money to pay their bills and stuff.

One of the surfers is named Weed so Palermo got to say, “Hold on, Weed!” at one point.  That made me smile.

Meanwhile, a random woman became obsessed with Victor and started painting pictures of him.  When Victor rejected her, she tore her clothes and accused him of attempting to rape her.  Victor was charged with rape but we never actually saw anyone arrest him.  Cory went undercover as Victor’s girlfriend in order to get the woman to attack her.  Somehow, this led to the charges against Victor getting dropped, though it didn’t actually do anything to disprove the woman’s claim.

Finally, Elvis — the Pacific Blue mechanic played by David L. Lander — wanted to join a swinger’s club but he was told he would have to bring a woman with him.  Elvis asked Chris to accompany him.  By this point, Elvis should know that Chris’s character only exists to humiliate people who ask her to do things.  Chris isn’t interested in swinging but Elvis continue to look.  To be honest, I didn’t even realize that Elvis was still on the show.

This was a dumb episode.  Let’s leave it at that.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR …. nearly being the word to remember.

This week, Sammy Davis Jr. comes to Fantasy Island.

That’s be cool, right?

Episode 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

(Dir by Don Ingalls, originally aired on April 9th, 1983)

Or, it would have been cool if my DVR had actually recorded this episode!

Sorry, it’s the curse of the DVR.  This is one of the episodes that my DVR did not record.  I’m not sure if it’s a case of the episode not being aired or perhaps the cable itself was out when it should have been recording but, for whatever reason, I do not have this episode and I also don’t remember having watched it in the past.

For now, I can’t review it.  But I’m going to leave this here as a placeholder, in case the show ever starts streaming again.

Again, I regret not being able to review this episode at this time.  But, as Mr. Roarke always says, “Smiles, everyone, smiles!”

Brad reviews DONATO AND DAUGHTER (1993), starring Charles Bronson & Dana Delany!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

DONATO AND DAUGHTER tells the story of Los Angeles Police detectives, Mike Donato (Charles Bronson), and his daughter Dena Donato (Dana Delany). The two have a strained relationship mainly due to the mysterious death of Dena’s brother, Tommy, and Mike’s unwillingness to discuss the circumstances surrounding his death with her. When a serial killer (Xander Berkeley) begins targeting nuns, brutally raping and murdering them, Dena is asked to lead a task force to catch the killer. Her supervisor not-so-subtly requires that she include her father, a tough-as-nails and experienced cop, as part of the team. The remainder of the story focuses on two elements: 1) The investigation as it closes in on the extremely dangerous serial killer and 2) The family drama as Mike and Dena deal with their relationship issues. The two worlds eventually collide when the killer goes after Dena! 

While he did work on a couple of theatrical films in the 1990’s, like Sean Penn’s THE INDIAN RUNNER (1991) and DEATH WISH 5: THE FACE OF DEATH (1994), Charles Bronson spent most of the decade making made-for-TV movies. Of course, as his biggest fan, I would always watch the movies on the night they premiered on TV, with THE SEA WOLF (1993) being the only exception as we didn’t have cable TV in Toad Suck. That means on September 21st, 1993, I was glued to my television set as the latest Charles Bronson film, DONATO AND DAUGHTER, premiered to a national TV audience on CBS. I specifically remember the network running warnings due to the disturbing and violent content of the movie. I also remember enjoying that first viewing, and I still enjoy the film to this day. 

Even though he was in his early 70’s at the time, Charles Bronson still looked great in DONATO AND DAUGHTER. He gives a strong performance as both the cop trying to catch the killer and as the dad who doesn’t know how to open up to his successful, adult daughter who needs him more than he can comprehend. Dana Delany is an excellent actress, and she is able to balance her character’s determination to be the best cop possible to “show her dad,” with the vulnerability of a daughter who just needs to know he loves her. Their relationship has to work for the movie to work, and I think they both do a great job. The other standout performance in the film belongs to Xander Berkeley. His portrayal of a husband and businessman, who also happens to be a vicious serial killer, is truly creepy and gives the movie a disturbing edge. On a side note, Berkeley’s “wife” in the film is played by actress Kim Weeks. She and Charles Bronson would get married in 1998, and they would be together until his death in 2003.

Overall, I think DONATO AND DAUGHTER is well worth watching as both a cop thriller and a family drama, although I do think the thriller elements work the best. It’s not the most groundbreaking or original story you’ll ever see, but the film is elevated greatly by the iconic presence of Charles Bronson and the strong performances by Dana Delany and Xander Berkeley. I give it a solid recommendation! The trailer is included below:

Song of the Day: Main Theme From Zombi 2 by Fabio Frizzi

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Zombi 2 (1979, dir. Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

For today’s song of the day, we celebrate the birthday of Lucio Fulci with Fabio Frizzi’s main theme from 1979’s Zombi 2.  If you’ve ever seen the film, it’s impossible to hear this piece of music without imagining hundreds of zombies walking across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.23 “Nightengale”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, someone is performing emergency surgery on the street!

Episode 3.23 “Nightengale”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 23rd, 1980)

Something strange is happening in Los Angeles.  Every time there’s a serious accident, a middle-aged woman (Louise Latham) appears and provides medical help to the injured.  At the start of the episode, she even performs an emergency tracheotomy on the side of the freeway.  Whenever the highway patrol officer on the scene asks her for her name, she avoids the question.  And, whenever an ambulance shows up, she always manages to slip away.  As Jon and Ponch discover, the woman is named Lucy Kenton and, even though she’s a medical expert, she’s not a doctor.  With the help of the always-understanding Sgt. Getraer, Jon and Ponch help her to get her medical license so that she can legally perform surgery on the street.  Good for them!

This was a bit of an odd episode.  It seemed strange that the woman somehow always seemed to be around whenever there was an accident.  A car would crash and suddenly, Lucy would come running up, almost as if she had been patiently waiting.  The show acted as if it was just a coincidence but what are the chances that the same woman would be present at the sites of multiple accidents over the course of just a few days?  And what are the chances that Ponch would just happen to be the responding officer at two of those accidents?

To be honest, that’s one of the things that always struck me as being strange about CHiPs.  Somehow, the same people keep running into Ponch and Jon over and over again.  I mean, Los Angeles is a big city and it’s home to a lot of people.  But if you run into Ponch and Jon once, it seems you’re destined to keep seeing them for at least a week.  Once they get that first speeding ticket or stern warning, people literally can’t step outside of their house without Ponch and Jon just happening to be somewhere nearby.  That’s the sort of thing that would make me paranoid.

The B-plot of this episode featured a teenage couple whose van kept breaking down whenever they tried to run away from home.  There wasn’t much to this story but it did feature “special guest star” Dana Plato as the younger sister of the female half of the couple.  Plato delivered all her lines as if she was auditioning for a school play.  Oddly enough, Dana Plato appeared at the start of this season as herself.  She was one of the many celebrities to show up for the roller disco episode.

There really wasn’t much to this episode.  It wasn’t terrible but it did feel somewhat insubstantial.  We’re coming up on the end of the season and, from the last few episodes, I get the feeling the show’s writers just wanted to wrap things up and start their vacations.  I don’t blame them!

Next week, the third season concludes!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.7 “Missing Hours”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s the most infamous episode of Miami Vice ever!

Episode 4.7 “Missing Hours”

(Dir by Ate De Jong, originally aired on November 13th, 1987)

This is an episode that I had been waiting for years to see.  From the moment I decided to review Miami Vice, I started to read about and hear about this seventh episode of the four season.  This was the episode was supposedly so bad that many people consider it to be the point that Miami Vice “jumped the shark.”  This is the episode were James Brown plays a white-suited singer named Lou de Long, who has going from performing songs to giving lectures about UFOs.  (James Brown is essentially playing himself, right down to the presence of I Feel Good on the soundtrack.)  This is the episode where Trudy disappears for 12 hours and then returns with no firm memories of where she was.  This is the episode where even Crockett and Tubbs see a UFO.  Even though his appearance here does not receive as much attention as much a James Brown’s, Chris Rock made his television debut as a nerdy technician named Carson who was into UFOs.  Carson mentions getting his information for “computer bulleting boards” and everyone looks at him as if he’s speaking Esperanto.

This is the episode that is frequently cited as being the worst in Miami Vice history and really, who am I to disagree?

It pains me to say that.  I really wanted to like this episode, just because it is so strange and and I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian at heart but …. no, this episode really doesn’t work.  The sad truth of the matter is that, for all of his other talents, James Brown was a lousy actor and, with the exception of Michael Talbott and Philip Michael Thomas (who both appear to be having fun), the regular cast gives performance that suggest they all knew this episode was a bad idea.  Miami Vice was at its best when it was a cynical and downbeat show about the futility of the war on drugs.  There’s really no reason for Miami Vice to ever do a science fiction-themed episode.  Somehow, this is the second such episode to air during the fourth season.

Of course, the episode’s most unforgivable sin is that it ends with Trudy waking up in bed.  Not only is that ending a cop out but it’s also pretty rude to anyone who was actually trying to follow the plot or who was actually worried about whether or not Trudy had been brainwashed by the aliens.  Perhaps if this had been a Halloween episode, all of this could have been excused but apparently, this episode aired in the middle of November.

Poor Trudy.  Seriously, Olivia Brown didn’t really get many episode built around her character.  It’s a shame that, when they gave her one, it was this one.  Next week on Miami Vice, who knows?  I’m on vacation.  We’ll see what happens!

Lifetime Film Review: Kidnapped By A Killer: The Heather Robinson Story (dir by Lee Gabiana)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

John Robinson has been described as being the Internet’s first serial killer.

I don’t know if that’s an accurate description but it is true that Robinson, who most of his neighbors and family knew as just being a somewhat eccentric businessman who always seemed to be in trouble with the IRS, did make contact with several of his victims in online chatrooms.  No one is quite sure how many women Robinson killed in the 80s and the 90s.  Robinson himself has given contradictory numbers.  What is know is that Robinson started out by luring women to his home by claiming that he had a job for them.  Many of the women who accepted his job offer were either never seen again or their bodies were eventually found on his properties in Kansas and Missouri.  Eventually, after serving time on fraud conviction, Robinson started to use internet chatrooms to find his victims.  He used the screenname Slavemaster, something that would have undoubtedly stunned all of his neighbors.

In Kidnapped By A Killer, Steve Guttenberg plays John Robinson.  Now, it should be noted that Guttenberg doesn’t get much screentime and he’s also nearly unrecognizable under a ton of old age makeup.  Guttenberg plays Robinson as being a creepy old man who uses the fact that he walks with a cane to put people at ease.  The film doesn’t spend much time with Robinson and it doesn’t show any of his murders.  Instead, the focus is on the police who investigated Robinson and also on Heather Robinson, a young woman who was Robinson’s adoptive niece but who was also the daughter of one of Robinson’s victims.  After killing her mother, Robinson “gave” Heather to his brother and sister-in-law, telling them that her mother had been a drug addict who abandoned her baby.

The majority of the film focuses on Heather (Rachel Stubington), who is a teenager when John is arrested for the murders that he committed.  Heather struggles to come to terms with the knowledge that her uncle — who seemed kindly, if a bit corny — murdered her mother and that she was essentially kidnapped and given away.  What seemed like an act of kindness — Uncle John not wanting a drug addict’s daughter to get lost in the system — was actually John Robinson’s attempt to cover up his crimes.  Much like the criminal who starts a business to launder money, Heather’s adoption was John’s attempt to launder evidence.  Stubington does a good job as Heather, capturing her struggle to come to terms with her identity.  The scenes of her dealing with her feelings towards John and the scenes of hardened detectives recoiling in shock as they discover the remains of John’s victims all serve as a reminder that murder is not an isolated crime.  It’s something that effects communities and families long after the act itself has been completed.

Kidnapped By A Killer deserves credit for focusing on a victim instead of on John Robinson, himself.  Too often, when it comes to true crime movies, the victims are forgotten while the serial killer gets all the best lines and the big moments.  Kidnapped By A Killer presents John Robinson as being a rather pathetic old man and that’s perhaps the best thing about it.