Tag Archives: review

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 5.8 “Goodbye, Mr. Zelinka”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, it’s time for yet another student protest.

Episode 5.8 “Goodbye, Mr. Zelinka”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on June 23rd, 1989)

The students at Lincoln High are upset to learn that beloved English teacher Mr. Zelinka (Lew Ayres) is going to have to retire because he’s reached the mandatory age of 70.  The school’s new maintenance workers — Jonathan Smith and Mark Gordon — suggest that they should all conduct a walk-out to demand that Zelinka be allowed to keep his job.  The evil school board president (James Karen) says that Zelinka can stay if he takes and passes an exam.  However, the exam is rigged for Zelinka to fail.  Jonathan uses “the stuff” to make sure that Zelinka not only passes but that he also gets the highest score ever.  In the past, Jonathan always refused to use “the stuff” to help people cheat.  Instead, Jonathan would have shown the school board president the error of his ways.  But, for this episode, Jonathan rigs the rigged exam and the villain is left in power so that he can presumably continue to make Mr. Zelinka’s life miserable.

I did not like this episode.  Yeah, it’s heart was in the right place but the entire school walking about in support of Mr, Zelinka just felt kind of silly.  I mean, did every student at the school have Mr. Zelinka for English?  What did everyone’s parents think about the protest?  If Mr. Zelinka had been a compelling character, may be I would have felt differently but  Mr. Zelinka was instead a pretty passive character and I have to admit that I wondered about all the other good teachers who had been forced to retire at 70.  Why didn’t Jonathan show up to help any of them out?  What made Mr. Zelinka so special?  It didn’t help that Lew Ayres was 80 years old when he played Mr. Zelinka and that he looked and sounded even older.  The obviously frail Ayres comes across as someone who maybe does need to retire.

I’ve sat through a lot of Highway to Heaven episodes about clean-cut teenagers walking out of class so that they can protest injustice.  Highway to Heaven was a very earnest show and that was one of the things that made it likable.  But, by the fifth season, Highway to Heaven‘s formula was a bit less effective than it had been in the past.  This is an episode just just seems to be going through the motions.  This is also the rare Highway to Heaven episode in which I wanted someone to tell Jonathan and Mark to just mind their own business.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.21 “The Showplace”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

Casey goes under cover at yet another cocktail lounge.

Episode 1.21 “The Showplace”

(Dir by David Alexander, originally aired on March 3rd, 1958)

There’s been a murder at a cocktail lounge.  One of the girls who worked there has been found in alley, strangled.  That means that it’s time for Casey to go undercover as a clip-joint girl, convincing men to buy her drinks.  It’s a sleazy place, run by two brothers (Bill Hayes and Lewis Troy) and featuring a sad-eyed bartender (Lou Polan) with a mysterious past.  Casey’s investigation uncovers all sorts of nefarious dealings.  In the end, the murderer is revealed and it’s not who you might have thought.  In a cocktail lounge full of largely ugly people, the murderer is the one handsome man.  Casey mentions that he may have been handsome on the outside but, on the inside, there was nothing.

This was a great episode, a moody slice of downbeat noir that featured Casey doing actual undercover work.  The cocktail lounge was a wonderfully atmospheric location, the supporting cast was full of strong character actors, and Beverly Garland did a great job as Casey both empathized and suspected the men with whom she was working.

This episode ended, as the best ones always did, with Casey talking about the tragedy of it all.  Casey’s New York is a city of dreams but it can also be a nightmare.

Song of the Day: Keep Hope Alive by Crystal Method

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s song of the day is from Crystal Method.  Though Keep Hope Alive was featured in the film The Replacement Killers, it was actually inspired by a 1992 speech from Jesse Jackson, which is heard throughout the song.

Docuseries Review: Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model is the latest three-episode docuseries from Netflix.  It takes a look at the history of the groundbreaking reality show that was once loved and which has since been declared problematic.  It features interviews with some of the  models, most of whom share some very harrowing stories about how they were treated while appearing on the show.  (Shandi Sullivan’s story epitomizes everything that is exploitive about reality television.)  Producer Ken Mock talks about how the show’s format was inspired by the first season of Making the Band.  (Ken seems to be under the impression that O Town is currently a beloved cultural institution.)  Jay Manuel talks about being a part of the show and how he was treated by Tyra Banks after he tried to leave.  J Alexander talks about how, after he suffered a stroke, Tyra never reached out to him.  Nigel Barker pretends to be ashamed of some of the challenges that he photographed and judged.  We get clips of TikTokers watching the show during the COVID lockdown and complaining about …. well, everything.

Tyra Banks is also interviewed.  The series paints Banks as a villain and yet, she not only consents to be interviewed but actually seem to enjoy it.  That’s because Tyra Banks isn’t stupid.  She apologizes without actually apologizing because she understands that a real apology would be seen as a sign of weakness, even by those demanding one.  Even more importantly, she understands that reality television demands a villain.  It demands someone who can say outrageous things with style.  It demands someone that people will watch so that they can be shocked and scandalized.  While being interviewed, Tyra mentions that she’s trying to put together at least one more season of America’s Next Top Model.  If you look at the online reactions, you’ll find a lot of people and entertainment reporters who claim to be angered by her audacity but let’s be honest.  If Tyra gets her 25th season of America’s Next Top Model, most of the people complaining about the show will watch.  The sites that are currently posting lists of the “Most Disturbing Revelations From Inside America’s Next Top Model” will recap the entire season and post galleries of “Tyra’s Most Outrageous Looks.”  They might complain about it.  They would definitely make room in their reviews to post the usual litany of complaints.  (To be honest, whenever I hit those paragraphs, I always skip over them because it’s always the same thing.)  They might claim to hate the show but they would still recap it and they would still get the clicks and they would accept the money the comes from those clicks.

For all the criticism to be found in this docuseries, it was ultimately a commercial for America’s Next Top Model.  There’s a reason why you can find the first sixteen seasons on Disney Plus, Hulu, and Pluto TV.

Oh yeah, I thought as I watched, I remember the crime scene photo shoot!  Yeah, you’re right, that was totally insensitive.  And the photoshoot were the girls had to pretend to have an eating disorder!  That was so messed up!  And which episodes were those again?

In the end this docuseries doesn’t so much inspire outrage as much as it inspires nostalgia for a time before outrage.  Some people would consider that to be a good thing.  Some people definitely wouldn’t.  But the end result is the same.  The viewer wants to go back and rewatch, either to bask in the nostalgia or to have an excuse to get angry.

As for the docuseries itself, it’s only three episodes long.  The first episode and the first half of the second episode are effective.  Then, the series falls apart as it tries to cram ten years worth of scandal and drama into the remaining 90 minutes.  The interviews with Jay Manuel are interesting, though Jay seems to be even worse than Tyra when it comes to dodging responsibility for the show’s more infamous moments.  (He says that he asked not to take part in a blackface challenge but, significantly, he did not threaten to quit.)  My heart broke for Miss J and for Shandi Sullivan and for Dani Evans, the model who was ordered to close between her front teeth.  There was so much wrong with America’s Next Top Model and yet, we’ll all be watching Season 25.

And if Tyra offers him enough money, she can probably get Jay Manuel back.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.4 “The Comeback Trail”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Some will never play the game….

Episode 3.4 “The Comeback Trail”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on August 26th, 1987)

The Bulls are in disarray!  Yinessa is in the hospital and might never play again.  Diane wants to trade John Manzak for a new quarterback but TD Parker explains that Manzak is actually one of the best players that they have.

Then, OJ — I mean TD — heads to the locker room and catches Manzak shooting up steroids in the bathroom.  TD tries to take the steroids away from him and Manzak …. well, Manzak doesn’t appreciate that.

Manzak apologizes and explains that, after ten years of injuries, he needs the steroids to play.  TD orders him to stop using them.  Manzak doesn’t listen and during the next practice, he collapses on the field.  TD runs out to him and checks his pulse.

OJ would know!

So ends the saga of John Manzak.  He just wanted to play football but he took too many steroids and collapsed dead on the practice field.

How will the Bulls survive without him?  We’ll find out next week!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.9 “Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 7.9 “Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 12th, 1983)

This week, it’s a carnival cruise!

No, I don’t mean the type of cruise that starts as a dance party and devolves into a riot.  I mean, there’s an actual carnival occurring on the cruise.  The head of the carnival (Howard Keel) is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and Stubing loves a carnival.  That’s all good and well but I hope they gave the passengers fair warning what type of cruise they were buying tickets for.  I don’t mind carnivals but I wouldn’t necessarily want to deal with one while on a romantic cruise.

Young photographer Aurora Adams (Jan Smithers) takes an interest in the carnival owner.  Is she hitting on a man old enough to be her father?  No, specially because the man is her father!  She doesn’t reveal this until towards the end of the cruise.

Meanwhile, Chip Ryan (Michael Lembeck) and Chester O’Brien (Christopher Mayer) are a comedy team who are training a bear.  When it turns out that the bear cannot be trained to follow orders, they decide that one of them should wear a bear suit and…. no, I’m not making this up.  Anyway, Chip and Chester both fall for Dottie Becks (Randi Oakes) and, by the end of the cruise, it looks like they’re going to have a very modern arrangement.  *wink* *wink*

Newlywed Scott Pryor (Dean Butler) is overwhelmed by the beauty of his wife (Crystal Bernard).  His wife takes off her makeup and he doesn’t recognize her.  Eh.  Let’s just ignore this storyline.

So, this episode …. you know, the newlywed and the long lost daughter stories were both pretty dumb but the bear storyline was just silly enough to be fun.  I would not have chosen to take this particular cruise but, if I did, I’d spend the whole time watching the bear.

 

 

Song of the Day: Don’t Your Forget About Me by Simple Minds

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Given the fact that today is the birthday of both John Hughes and Molly Ringwald, it seems obvious what today’s song of the day should be.

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, woah

Won’t you come see about me?
I’ll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving everything inside and out and
Love’s strange, so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Will you recognize me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh, woah

Don’t you try and pretend
It’s my feeling we’ll win in the end
I won’t harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security, ah

Don’t you forget about me
I’ll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby
Going to take you apart
I’ll put us back together at heart, baby

Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me

As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away

Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on, call my name
Will you call my name?

I say
La, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
When you walk on by
And you call my name
When you walk on by

Songwriters: Keith Forsey / Steve W. Schiff

Scenes That I Love: The Opening Credits of Saturday Night Fever

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Saturday Night Fever (1977, dir. John Badham)

Today is John Travolta’s birthday!

In honor of this day, here’s a scene that I love, the opening credits of Saturday Night Fever.  Watch as John Travolta, playing the role of Tony Manero, walks down the streets of Brooklyn, not letting the fact that he’s carrying two cans of paint do anything to lessen his strut.  Watch as Tony puts a down payment on a pair of shoes!  Thrill as Tony buys two slices of pizza!  Cringe as Tony bothers a woman who wants absolutely nothing to do with him!

This is one of the greatest introductions in film history.  Not only does it set Tony up as an exemplar of cool but it also subverts our expectations by revealing just how little being an exemplar of cool really means.  I always relate to the woman who gets annoyed with Tony and tells him to go away.  I know exactly how she feels, as does any woman who has ever been stopped in the middle of the street by some guy who thinks she has an obligation to talk him.  It doesn’t matter how handsome he is or how much time he obviously spent working on his hair.  He’s still just some guy carrying two buckets of paint and acting like she should be flattered that he spent half a minute staring at her ass before chasing after her.  For all of his carefully constructed attitude, Tony comes across as being a rather ludicrous figure in this introduction.  He carries those cans of paint like he’s going to war and you secretly get the feeling that he knows how silly he looks carrying them but he’s not going to allow anything to get in the way of his strut.  And yet, as ridiculous as Tony sometimes seems and as bad as behavior does get, you can’t help but want the best for him.  That’s the power of Travolta’s performance.  He shows us who Tony could be if he only had the courage.

Happy birthday to John Travolta!  And here is today’s scene that I love:

Music Video of the Day: Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie (2000, dir by ????)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s Ash Wednesday!  Sharing this song by David Bowie is a bit of an Ash Wednesday tradition and I’m going to keep it going this year.  (Yes, I understand the song isn’t actually about Ash Wednesday but, for me, it is.)

This is from a 2000 performance in London.

Enjoy!