If there’s one man who would have stood with Marshal Kane, it was Harry Callahan.
In honor of the fact, today’s song of the day comes from 1971’s Dirty Harry. Composer Lalo Schifrin’s moody score remains one of the best cop film scores of all time. It’s efficient, relentless, and deceptively low-key, just like “Dirty Harry” Callahan himself.
In 2009’s The Chaos Experiment, Val Kilmer stars as James Pettis, a twitchy man who shows up at the offices of a Michigan newspaper and says that he wants them to publish an editorial he has written. The editorial is about global warming (yawn) and the danger of humanity going extinct (double yawn). Pettis goes on to explain that he has trapped six people in a steam room and that he has turned the temperature up to 130 degrees, the better to demonstrate what destroying the environment is doing to humanity.
Cynical detective Manicni (Armanda Assante) is called and he listens to Pettis’s story. Mancini has some doubts as to whether or not Pettis is who he says he is. As Pettis describes what is happening in the steam room, Mancini comes to suspect that Pettis is either lying or else the murders happened a while ago. Pettis, for his part, seems to grow more and more delusional as he speaks to Manicni.
When we’re not listening to Mancini and Pettis, we’re watching six unfortunate people trapped in steam room. They are played by Eric Roberts, Patrick Muldoon, Megan Brown, Eve Mauro, Quinn Duffy, and Cordelia Reynolds. They start out as a friendly group but, once it becomes apparent that they’re trapped in the room, they lose it. They start turning on and attacking each other. The first to die is killed while strangling another hostage. The second is taken out by a unseen person with a nail gun. Cast as a former football player who claims to be from “Dallas-Fort Worth,” Eric Roberts goes from being the voice of reason to being a paranoid wreck. Meanwhile, the viewer is left to figure out whether or not any of this is happening or if it’s all just in Pettis’s mind.
I kind of cringed when Pettis said he had written an editorial about global warming but the environmental stuff is just a red herring. The film is actually about the cat-and-mouse game between Pettis and Detective Mancini and the investigation into whether or not Pettis has actually trapped six people in a steam room. It’s an intriguing premise and Val Kilmer gives a surprisingly committed performance as the unstable Pettis. Unfortunately, whenever the film cuts to the people in the steam room, it gets bogged down in all the usual Saw-style dramatics. I appreciate that the film found room for Eric Roberts to give a real performance (and Roberts does a good job, going from being affable to murderous over the course of the movie) but, even at the time when this film first came out, the people-trapped-in-a-room thing had been done to death and the scenes in steam room were ultimately a bit too repetitive to be as effective as they needed to be. That said, the film does end with a nice twist and it did hold my attention.
If nothing else, this is your only chance to see Val Kilmer, Armand Assante, Patrick Muldoon, and Eric Roberts, all in the same movie. That counts for something.
Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:
I love the look of this video. All love songs should be visualized in black-and-white.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, Miami Vice takes an unwelcome detour.
Episode 4.2 “Amen …. Send Money”
(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on October 2nd, 1987)
This was pretty dumb.
Tubbs, working undercover, busts Leona Proverb (Anita Morris), who just happens to be the wife of Billy Bob Proverb (Brian Dennehy). Billy Bob is a television preacher who continually asks his followers to send him cash so he can live the lifestyle that he says God wants him to live. On paper, this sounds like a great role for Brian Dennehy but this episode’s script lets him (and, for that matter, everyone else in the cast) down. Somehow, the fact that the guy is named Billy Bob Proverb is the least heavy-handed aspect of this episode.
Faye Nell (Jo Anderson), who is one of Billy Bob’s followers, calls Tubbs to the studio and says she has information on what the Proverbs are doing. As soon as Tubbs shows up, Faye tosses herself on him, rips her dress, and starts to yell, “Rape!” Tubbs finds himself being investigated by Internal Affairs while Faye claims that God told her to call Tubbs down to the studio and she even passes a lie detector test.
“I’m being set up by a preacher!” an angered Tubbs says but it turns out that Billy Bob Proverb is not the one behind all of Tubbs’s problems. In fact, Billy Bob is actually sincere, in his own strange way. Instead, the villain turns out to be another television preacher, Mason Mather (James Tolkan). Mather has the ability to make himself go into a coma, which makes it difficult to arrest him.
Before I started watching this season, I read online that season 4 featured some of Miami Vice‘s worst episodes. Amen …. Send Money feels almost like a parody of Miami Vice. The episode itself is meant to be largely comedic and perhaps if this episode had centered on Switek and Zito instead of Crockett and Tubbs, it would have worked. Unfortunately, the show killed off Zito last season so instead, it’s Crockett and Tubbs making odd jokes and rolling their eyes in shock. The thing is, Miami Vice has — up until this episode — been a show about ruthless dealers and the futility of the War on the Drugs. The thing that set Miami Vice apart from other 80s cop shows was that it was thematically dark, the endings were frequently unhappy, and Crockett and Tubbs were always the epitome of cool, no matter what happened. This episode features cartoonish villains and a silly plot and both Crockett and Tubbs come across as being a little …. well, dorky.
(On the plus side, the show does continue its tradition of featuring future stars by giving Ben Stiller a small role as a con artist.)
Oh well. Not every episode can be a great one. Hopefully, next week will be an improvement.
Since today is National Superhero Day, it only makes sense that today’s song of the day should John Williams’s rousing Superman March from 1978’s Superman. In this video from 2023, John Williams conducts the Saito Kinen Orchestra.
1970’s Rebel Rousers tell the story of what happens when Paul Collier (Cameron Mitchell) arrives in a small desert town, searching for his girlfriend, Karen (Diane Ladd). Karen ran away when she discovered she was pregnant because she was scared that Paul would attempt to force her to get an abortion. While Paul talks to Karen in a cheap motel, a motorcycle gang rides into town. The members of the gang include Randolph (Harry Dean Stanton) and Bunny (Jack Nicholson), who wears striped prison pants and a stocking hat. The leader of the gang is J.J. Weston (Bruce Dern), who went to high school with Paul. They even played on the same football team but their lives have since followed differing paths. (How exactly 30ish Bruce Dern and 50ish Cameron Mitchell could have been in the same high school class is not an issue that the film chooses to explore.)
Paul reunites with Karen and swears his love for her. However, when Paul and Karen run into the motorcycle gang, Karen is kidnapped. Bunny wants to force himself on Karen but J.J. wants to set her free. J.J. challenges Bunny to a series of motorcycle games on the beach. The winner decides what happens to Karen. Meanwhile, Paul heads back to the town in search of help but discovers that almost everyone is too much of a coward to help him out. Only Miguel (Robert Dix), the leader of a rival gang is willing to step up and save the community from the Rebels!
Rebel Rousers was filmed in 1967 but was considered to be so bad that it was put on a shelf and forgotten about until Jack Nicholson suddenly became a star in Easy Rider. Rebel Rousers was released on the drive-in circuit as a Jack Nicholson movie, even though Nicholson is barely in the film and he gives a pretty one-note performance as Bunny. The movie’s star is Cameron Mitchell, who usually played villains and doesn’t seem to be too invested in this film. (Mitchell has such a naturally sinister screen presence that I was actually worried about Paul finding Karen. Bruce Dern and Diane Ladd are the sole members of the cast who really stand out, with Dern taking on the type of cool rebel role that was usually played by Peter Fonda while Ladd (pregnant at the time with Laura Dern) actually manages to bring some real emotional depth to her character. The movie itself was obviously made for next to nothing and it seems like it was shot in a hurry. Everything feels like a first take or, even worse, like a rehearsal that was deemed “good enough.” The competition between Bunny and J.J. ultimately feels mostly like filler than anything else.
Rebel Rousers is one of the more obscure entries in Jack Nicholson’s filmography. If not for the success of Easy Rider, it never would have been released at all. By the time Rebel Rousers did come out, Jack Nicholson was too busy establishing himself as one of the best leading men of the 70s to spend too much time looking back. Today, watching this film can make it easier to understand why Nicholson was considering dropping out of Hollywood all together before he was cast in Easy Rider. That said, the film today serves as a reminder that everyone started somewhere and sometimes, the somewhere is the second feature at the grindhouse.
Today’s music video of the day is the latest from Primal Scream.
Personally, I like money.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi
This week, Dwayne gets some life-changing news.
Episode 2.2 “Bad Blood: Part Two”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 12th, 1990)
After his summer girlfriend informs him that she’s tested positive for HIV, Dwayne goes to the local clinic to get tested. He’s understandably nervous as the doctor draws his blood. The doctor mentions that Dwayne is in a high-risk group because he had sex without a condom. Dwayne gives about twenty different excuses for why he didn’t use a condom. The doctor looks on, disappointed. Two weeks later, Dwayne returns to the clinic and is informed that he has tested positive for HIV. The doctor informs Dwayne that he’s going to have to start living life differently. He’s going to have to take care of himself. He’s going to have to give up any plans he ever had of being a father. He’s going to have to be careful when it comes to his blood.
At school, Dwayne takes out his anger on one of the condom machines in the bathroom. Wheels witnesses this and quickly runs off to tell Joey. Joey still needs a little over $300 to get his car. He also needs some money to pay everyone who took a bet on the previous episode’s attempt to walk through the cafeteria naked. Joey decides to blackmail Dwayne to get the money. (Joey has figured out that Dwayne is the one who snitched to Raditch about the walk through the cafeteria so Joey feels that Dwayne owes him the money regardless.) When Joey confronts Dwayne in the boys bathroom, it leads to another fight. Joey cuts his head. Dwayne ends up with a bloody nose. As soon as Dwayne sees that he’s bleeding, he backs off and tries to end the fight. Joey taunts Dwayne for being scared of a little blood.
“What if I have AIDS!?” Dwayne yells back.
Joey laughs off Dwayne’s comment, which leads to Dwayne throwing a fit and shouting that he didn’t do anything wrong. Joey figures out that Dwayne actually is HIV+. Later, Dwayne gives Joey the three hundred dollars in return for Joey not telling anyone. “We’re getting a car!” Snake and Wheels celebrate but the look on Joey’s face indicates that Joey is not happy about the way he got the money. In other words, Joey has a conscience! Yay, Joey!
And so does Dwayne. One of the things that Degrassi did very well was that it took characters who conformed to certain stereotypes and then dug underneath the surface and revealed that everyone — even the school bully — had their own individual fears and dreams. This episode finds Dwayne’s bravado crumbling as he’s forced to face his future as someone who is HIV positive. Darrin Brown, who is now a director, did a great job as Dwayne as did Pat Mastroianni as Joey. Both of them really grew as actors over the course of Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High.
While that was going, BLT finally broke up with Michelle. Michelle was not happy. Eh, who cares? This was a good episode but BLT and Michelle were a boring couple and it’s hard to get overly worked up about them splitting up. Dwayne had a real isssue to deal with. Michelle will eventually find someone else willing to deal with her nonstop drama. Such is the way of the world.
One final note: in this episode, Lucy is shooting a video for L.D. Spike appears with her baby, Emma. Emma says, “Hi, L.D.” These were the first of many words to be spoken by Emma Nelson on Degrassi. (Emma, of course, will grow up to be one of the leads on Degrassi: The Next Generation. We’ve got a while to go before we reach that point, though.)
How about a little Morricone for today’s song of the day? This comes from the score of 1969’s Metti Una Sera A Cena.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, Felton again proves himself to be the most incompetent cop in Baltimore.
Episode 3.9 “Nothing Personal”
(Dir by Timothy Van Patten, originally aired on April 21st, 1995)
Woe be anyone whose murder is investigating by Detective Beau Felton.
Felton (played by Daniel Baldwin) shambles his way through this episode, his hair a greasy mess and his eyes bloodshot. The episode takes place over the course of several days and Felton doesn’t change his clothes once. Just looking at him, one can smell the pungent mix of sweat, cigarettes, and booze. Felton is searching for his wife and his son. In this episode, his mother-in-law tells him that his wife is planning on coming home, just for her to change her mind at the last moment. On the one hand, I do feel a bit bad for Felton, even if he was an absolutely terrible husband. On the other hand, he’s got an important job and, right now, he sucks at it. His decision to go back to Megan Russert’s place after he talks to his mother-in-law definitely does not make him in any way extra sympathetic.
Poor Kay! She has been just been assigned the Chilton murder, which was one of Crosetti’s unsolved cases and now her 100% clearance rate is threatened. The case is considered to be unsolvable. Someone strangled Erica Chilton. Her husband (Dean Winters) gives Kay and Felton a stack of letters that were sent by Erica’s secret lover. Alcoholic Felton loses the letters. The episode ends with Kay reluctantly accepting that she might never solve the case. Personally, I think Kay should consider that the victim’s husband is played by Dean Winters. With the exception of Law & Order: SVU, I have never seen Dean Winters appear on a show like this without eventually turning out to be the murderer and the fact that he had a huge stack of letters from Erica’s boyfriend would give him a motive. See, Kay? I solved your case for you!
Meanwhile, Giardello goes out to lunch with Megan Russert and one of her friends. Russert wants to set them up. Giardello is interested but Russert’s friend isn’t. Giardello, in a wonderfully performed moment (all hail Yaphet Kotto), tells Russert that he feels that light-skinned black women always reject him because he’s “too black.” Russert says that’s ridiculous, just for Giardello to reply that, as a “white woman,” she wouldn’t understand. Giardello spends the rest of the episode depressed. It’s always interesting whenever Giardello, who is usually so imposing, let’s down his guard a bit and reveals his emotions. Kotto always did a great job playing Giardello, regardless of whether Giardello was ordering Pembleton to work with Bayliss or just trying to avoid doing his laundry with Munch.
Speaking of Munch, the Waterfront Bar continues to be a headache. Lewis, Bayliss, and Munch have finally purchased their bar but it turns out that the former owner is not allowed to leave behind any of the liquor that she previously had at the bar. So, the three partners are going to have to pay for all their liquor themselves. The Waterfront Bar storyline has been dragged out a bit but it is a storyline that shows just how difficult it is to start a business in an overregulated state. So, it appeals to be my libertarian side.
There were a lot of good moments in this episode, even if I am getting a bit tired of Felton and his incompetence. One thing that I’ve really enjoyed about this season is how much Kay and Russert seem to sincerely dislike each other. This episode featured Russet calling Kay out for obsessing over her perfect clearance rate and Kay’s barely pent up irritation was entertaining to watch. Still, I do find myself wondering why Russet is always at the station, even though her shift is over. Seriously, Russert, spend some time with your child and tell Felton to get off your damn couch! There’s murders that need to be solved.
Through the Shattered Lens 