Review: True Blood S5E11 “Sunset”

Posted on August 19, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For better or worse, the fifth season of True Blood is rapidly drawing to a close. Tonight’s episode (the last before next week’s season finale) featured a lot blood and it answered at least one big question that True Blood fans have been debating since about halfway through this season.

That question: does Bill actually believe all of this Lilith stuff or is he just pretending in order to manipulate the situation to his own advantage? A lot of people — myself included — assumed the Bill had to have some sort of secret plan. Bill, we all assumed, has always been too much of a politician to become a true believer in anything.

Well, it turns out that we were all wrong. As tonight’s episode proved, Bill is indeed a true believer. He has drunk from the proverbial kool-aid (or Lilith’s blood, as the case may be). As Pam explains in one of tonight’s better moments, Bill and the rest of the Authority are nesting. Essentially, it’s what happens when vampires spend too much time hanging out with each other.

Bill, in fact, has become such a true believer that he’s now having visions of a blood-drenched Lilith telling him that he is the one (and the only one) that she has chosen to lead vampires to their rightful future. When another chancellor (the bald, black guy whose name I can never remember) confesses to having had the same vision, Bill responds with, “NO, I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!” and then chops off his head. Of course, even before Bill has finished cleaning his hands, Lilith is appearing to Salome and telling her that she’s the chosen one.

In a nice bit of irony, even as former skeptic Bill becomes even more devoted to Lilith, former true believer Nora has lost her faith in Lilith. After Nora makes up with her “brother” Eric (and thank you, True Blood, for indulging us Alexander Skarsgard fans with that little scene), the two of them start to search for an oppurtunity to escape the bunker. That opportunity presents itself when a human general shows up, demands to speak to Roman, and then reveals that he has video evidence of Russell and the Rev. Newlin slaughtering a frat house. Eric responds by killing the general and then volunteering to go (with Nora, of course) to Washington D.C. and take care of the video. The rightfully suspicious Bill orders a security detail to accompany Eric and Nora but, as soon as they’re out of the bunker, Eric kills both of the guards and he and Nora fly off into the night. Needless to say, it was nice to see Eric acting like Eric again.

Bill also decided to send a security detail with Jessica after he ordered her to return to Bon Temps and turn Jason into a vampire. However, Jessica only pretends to turn Jason which gives Jason a chance to kill Jessica’s two guards. Seriously, the Authority might want to take a look at the training program for the members of their Security Detail because it doesn’t appear to be that effective.

Anyway, Jessica tells Jason what’s going on and then, after Jason runs back to the Faerie nightclub so he can warn Sookie, Jessica ends up hiding out with Pam and Tara. At first, Pam isn’t all that happy to see Jessica show up because, after all, Pam’s already got her hands full trying to clean up after Tara’s murder of Sheriff Elijah. Unfortunately, it turns out that Elijah was made by Chancellor Rosalyn and when Rosalyn shows up searching for him, she immediately accuses Tara of killing him. Pam, who has been incorrectly informed by Jessica that Eric is still at the Authority HQ, confesses and, along with Jessica, is promptly arrested and taken to the bunker.

And you know who else is in the bunker? Sam and Luna, who are still running around as field mice until they finally manage to track down Emma, who is still in her adorable wolf puppy form. Unfortunately, Sam and Luna shift back into human form when they find Emma and are then promptly found by Authority security guards who assume that they’re simply humans who have been imprisoned in order to serve as a food source. When Sam hears one of the guards mention that it’s time for “Chancellor Compton’s breakfast,” he volunteers to be that meal and, as the episode comes to an end, he is being led out of the jail while Pam’s being led into it.

But that’s not all!

Tara might be falling in love with Pam, or at least that’s the way it seems to Jessica.

Alcide is staying with his dad and apparently spends most of his time chopping wood without a shirt on and that’s perfectly alright with me. However, when a group of baby vamps show up and start attacking the trailer park, Alcide (and, eventually, his dad) fight them off.

Finally, Sookie is hiding out at the Faerie nightclub and, as part of her efforts to learn why she has been promised to the mysterious Warlow, she talks to the Elder, the oldest faerie in existence. Unfortunately, the Elder turns out to be a bit of a flake whose mind has been permanently scrambled by the amount of times that she’s jumped through all the various realities. The Elder assures Sookie that “A dark time is coming,” and it turns out that she’s right as, at the end of tonight’s episode, Russell and the Rev. Newlin manage to track down the fearie night club. As the terrified faeries watch, Russell drains the Elder dry and then, fangs bared, lunges forward to attack…

This was a bloody episode and, to judge from the previews, next week’s finale is going to be even more bloody. Will Bill come to his senses? Will Warlow make an appearance? And will someone please just go ahead and stake the Rev. Newlin?

Hopefully, we’ll find out next week.

Random Observations:

This episode’s unofficial scene count: 44.
This was an uneven episode but overall, I liked it. There was a lot about this episode that felt like filler but, at the same time, the idea of the vampires having religious visions as a result of “nesting” is an intriguing one and I hope that it’s one that next week’s finale explores.
Of all the episodes so far this season, this one was probably the most explicit in making the connection between organized religion and the Authority. It wasn’t subtle but then again, True Blood rarely is.
“Don’t play game with me, you little ginger bitch!” If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard those exact same words…
Pam is like the Lauren Bacall of vampires.

Trailer: Dexter Season 7

Posted on August 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of the previous season of Dexter. Colin Hanks made for a boring villain, the secret behind the character played by Edward James Olmos was obvious from his second appearance, and, for the first time, Michael C. Hall seemed to bored with the title role. Yes, the sixth season of Dexter was a huge disappointment but it did end on a good note, with Deb discovering that her brother is a murderer.

(Of course, in the Dexter novels, Deb discovered the truth about her brother a long time ago. Plus, Rita’s still alive…)

The question is how will the show handle this change in Dexter and Deb’s relationship. (And will the show continue to explore the idea of Deb being in love with Dexter or will that be one of those plot points that will be quickly forgotten before it can do permanent damage?) Season 6 did not leave me with much hope for the future of Dexter but I’m still going to gife the new season of Dexter a chance and hope for the best.

This just-released trailer for the seventh season of Dexter gives us a hint of how the show’s new season might play out.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Campaign (dir. by Jay Roach)

Posted on August 13, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Opening last weekend, The Campaign is the latest comedy from director Jay Roach. The film tells the story of North Carolina Congressman Cam Brady (played by Will Ferrell), a Democrat who will remind viewers of such previous party statesmen as John Edwards and Anthony Weiner. The complacent Brady has been in office for nearly a decade and he is regularly reelected without opposition. However, when Brady accidentally leaves an obscene message on a random family’s answering machine, the multimillionaire Motch brother (John Lithgow and Dan Ayrkroyd) see a chance to replace Brady with a congressman who will essentially belong to them. They recruit the naive and well-meaning Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) to run against Brady. While Huggins is initially an awkward and unimpressive candidate, his image is soon transformed by a possibly demonic campaign manager (Dylan McDermott). As Huggins starts to move up in the polls, Brady reacts by having a nervous breakdown of his own and soon the campaign gets very personal as both Huggins and Brady go to increasingly outrageous lengths to win the election.

As a work of political satire, The Campaign is fairly uneven. This is largely because, while the film raises some valid points, those points are still the same points that have been made by hundreds of other films about the American political system. If you didn’t already know that the American political system was controlled by wealthy corporations before you saw The Campaign then you probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote in the first place. At its best, the film reminds us that both the Democrats and the Republicans pretty much answer to the same corporate masters. At its worst, the film’s “message” just feels like a stale and predictable lecture that one might hear while visiting an old Occupy camp site.

But if the film doesn’t quite come together as a satire, it does work wonderfully well as a comedy. Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis are two of the funniest guys around and they are at the top of their game in this film. Both of them bring such a sincerity to their absurd characters that even the most predictable of punchlines feel fresh and hilarious. Zach Galifianakis is surprisingly likable and earnest as the painfully sincere Marty. It’s no surprise to see Galifianakis playing someone who could charitably be described as a weirdo. However, Galifianakis also bring a gentleness of spirit to the role and it’s impossible not to root for him. Meanwhile, Will Ferrell not only manages to master a North Carolina accent but also manages to capture both the arrogance and the ignorance that’s necessary for a truly mediocre man to become a succesful politician.

However, the film’s best comedic performance comes from, believe it or not, Dylan McDermott. Playing a slick political operative who always dresses in black and who, occasionally, appears to be possessed by the devil, McDermott is a wonder to behold in this film. He steals every scene that he appears in and the prospect of his return alone should be reason enough for some brave film executive to greenlight The Campaign Part 2.

The Campaign works best when it’s content to simply make us laugh. When it attempts to make a serious statement about the state of American politics, the film often feels flat. But as a laugh-out-loud comedy, The Campaign is a definite winner.

Review: True Blood S5E10 “Gone Gone Gone”

Posted on August 12, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I talk about tonight’s episode of True Blood, I have to offer up an apology to you, my wonderful readers. I’m running a bit behind on writing this review because, as a result of bad weather in my area of the world, I did not get to see tonight’s episode when it was first broadcast. Instead, I had to wait for the second showing and now, I find myself rushing a bit as I attempt to write up my thoughts on “Gone Gone Gone”

My initial response to “Gone Gone Gone” was one of very genuine surprise. As a character, Hoyt’s been pretty annoying as of late. Over the course of this season, he’s managed to establish himself as such an irredeemable dumbass that even Andy has started to look better by comparison. I mean, seriously — how much sympathy can you have for someone who nearly gets everyone killed just because he somehow managed to accidentally join up with a bunch of murderous rednecks?

And yet, the best moments of tonight’s episode all centered around Hoyt. Having finally figured out that there’s nothing left for him in Bon Temps (which, incidentally, mirrors the fact that showrunner Alan Ball has probably figured out that there wasn’t really anything left to do with Hoyt as a character), Hoyt announced his intention to move to Alaska and get a job working with a drilling crew. However, before he left, he had a final meeting with Jessica and Ryan and, in a scene that was surprisingly moving, Jessica erased Hoyt’s memory and finally granted him the peace that he’s spent this season so desperately searching for.

As powerful as that scene was, it was nothing compared to Hoyt’s final appearance in the episode (and, I assume, the series as a whole). When Jason pulled the oblivious Hoyt over for speeding, Hoyt greeted him by asking if he was related to Sookie. Despite the fact that Hoyt no longer remembered him or their friendship, Jason still got a chance to say goodbye to his former best friend before going back to his cruiser and sobbing as Hoyt drove off. This scene was especially well-played by Ryan Kwanten, who has really come into his own as an actor this season. More and more, it’s hard not to feel that Jason has become the show’s moral center and who would have guessed that when season 5 first started?

In other Jason news, he and Sookie discovered a parchment that was hidden under the floorboards in Sookie’s bedroom. After several attempts to get the odd writing on the parchment translated, they took it to the faeries who informed them that the parchment was a contract that essentially promised the first-born Stackhouse of fairy origin to someone named Warlow (who, I’m assuming, is the same vampire who killed Sookie’s parents).

The rest of tonight’s episode was pretty much centered around the vampires. Because of the “terrorist” bombings of the True Blood factories, vampires are starting to feed on human beings. (Among the unfortunate human victims is the county coroner who, after he turns into a vampire, ends up attacking Sookie and, in a funny if implausible twist, gets staked by a pair of chopsticks.) Elijah, the greasy-haired sheriff who showed up at the end of last week’s episode, made the mistake of attempting to bully both Tara and Pam. Tara reacted by killing him and for that, I say, “Yay, Tara!” because Elijah was seriously not a character that I was looking forward to spending too much more time with.

Meanwhile, Rev. Newlin and Russell are continuing their creepy little courtship and Newlin is still keeping wolf puppy Emma as his personal pet. Fortunately, Sam and Luna shifted into two of the most adorable white mice that I’ve ever seen and, as tonight’s episode concluded, they had managed to infiltrate the Authority’s underground bunker.

Bill, meanwhile, appears to have truly gone over to the other side as, during tonight’s episode, he continued to drink Lillith’s blood and even “arranged” for Eric to have a vision of Lillith killing Godric, a vision that apparently convinced Eric to come over to the Authority’s side. As I’ve stated before, I’m not a huge fan of born again Bill and I’m still holding on to my ever dwindling hope that all of this is just some elaborate scheme of his. On the plus side, Eric didn’t seem all that sincere about his conversion.

If there is something that might keep Bill from totally going over to the “dark side,” it’s that Russell is obsessed with drinking faerie blood and being able to walk around in daylight. Russell is so obsessed with this idea that he gets into a violent brawl with Salome when Salome says that it’s not Lillith’s plan for them to walk in the daylight. Denis O’Hare has always been so wonderfully decadent and evil as Russell but tonight featured some of his best moments since the third season.

After a few episodes the bordered on almost being frantic with activity and intrigue, “Gone Gone Gone” was nice change of pace with scenes (and characters) being allowed to naturally develop and the show’s signature melodrama a bit muted to make room for reflection. The result was a surprisingly moving episode that will be remembered as one of the best of season 5.

Random Thoughts and Observation:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 32
They killed off my favorite minor supporting character tonight. Molly, the wonderfully sarcastic techie vampire, was staked and wow, didn’t Rev. Newlin just go so excited by it all? I really hope somebody stakes Rev. Newlin before the end of this season. He’s a putzhead.
How neat was it when Lafayette and Sam were both taking care of those rednecks in the bar? I like it when Sam gets to be all manly and stuff. Not as much as I like it when Alcide does it but, unfortunately, Alcide is apparently still hanging out in that trailer with his drunk dad.
There’s an art to acting confused and Ryan Kwanten has mastered it. Seriously, his performance of Jason has been one of the season’s highlights.
Only two (count ’em) more episode left this season!

Review: The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom (dir. by Lucy Walker)

Posted on August 6, 2012 by Arleigh

March 11, 2011, off the coast of the Tōhoku region of the Japanese main island, an undersea earthquake measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale hit the region. The damage incurred by the Tōhoku region was cataclysmic but it would take the arrival of the mega-tsunami that followed the earthquake which would show the rest of the world the horror the people of Japan were experiencing first-hand that fateful day on March 11, 2011.

Documentary filmmaker Lucy Walker was already set to film a documentary short about the cultural importance of the cherry blossom to the Japanese people, but the disaster which struck on March 11 changed the overall theme of her documentary short. The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossomwould still look at the importance of the cherry blossom to the Japanese nation, but now it also would signify how this simple, but beautiful flower now begins the healing process for those affected by the earthquake and the tsunami and how it helped solidified the nation.

The film doesn’t try to make the scenes of disaster as it happened and the aftermath become exploitative. Walker does a great job of just letting the landscape of devastation speak for itself the reality and existential horror of the event and how it has affected the nation of Japan. Even the typical interviews of the survivors during the film comes off as something cathartic and healing even as the first-hand accounts from the subjects being interviewed and film brings about emotions of heartbreak and extreme sorrow.

Yet, the film does show the resiliency of the Japanese people in the face of cataclysm and its aftermath through their shared love and admiration for that simple cherry blossom that’s become so intertwined with the Japanese culture. A flower of such simple beauty yet one that doesn’t live for long that helps inform outsiders how the fatalistic attitude that Westerners see as inherent in Japanese culture is really a misunderstanding. Just like the cherry blossom the Japanese people see the impermanence of life as something beautiful, to be cherished and lived to its fullest. The film shows just how even in the aftermath of this disaster the nation of Japan still looks at the resiliency of the cherry blossom to survive and grow in a land of waste and debris as a sign that the survivors must now give up.

“The plants are hanging in there, so us humans better do it too.”

This simple observation from a survivor looking to do his part in rebuilding the affected region best exemplifies the ideas in this film. As someone who has admired the culture and people of Japan this film by Lucy Walker helps in showing that even in the face of tragedy that boggles the mind the capacity of the human spirit to persevere exists.

The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossomis a film that should be more readily available for everyone to watch, but unfortunately has only made the film festival circuits and the too little airings on HBO. So, if this film ever airs on HBO and/or makes its rounds to where one lives I highly recommend they watch it.

Review: True Blood S5E9 “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS)

Tonight’s episode of True Blood saw the apparent conclusion of two storylines.

First off, do you remember how, two weeks ago, I predicted that the Dragon would turn out to be Bud Dearborn (William Sanderson)?

Well, I was kinda right. The Dragon wasn’t Bud Dearborn. Instead, the Dragon was Sweetie, the plump woman who Bud had taken up with since leaving his wife. We really didn’t find out too much about the Dragon, beyond the fact that she’s a bit on the heavy-side and she enjoys square dancing and, quite frankly, I felt a little bit let down by the revelation that, after all the build up and mystery, the Dragon was just a broadly drawn stereotype. It is true that, in the past, True Blood has effectively used stereotypical characters to make a bigger point but tonight, the revelation that Sweetie was the Dragon just fell flat.

I have mixed feelings about how the whole “Obamas” plotline was wrapped up during tonight’s episode. At its best, the storyline managed to show how prejudice is often the product of people feeling as if they have no power over their lives, no hope for the future, and that they need a scapegoat to hold responsible for their own failures. As well, I also appreciated that the show actually had them wearing Obama masks because, quite frankly, it’s the closest any show has come to poking fun at the President since the South Park election episode way back in 2008. It has nothing to do with the Obama’s politics or my own beliefs. I just happen to believe that all leaders, regardless of who they are or what they represent, should be frequently ridiculed.

(Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom may get more critical acclaim but trust me — Aaron Sorkin will never have the guts to write an episode featuring a murderer in a Barack Obama mask.)

After a nice build up, however, it was hard not to be disappointed with how conventional and predictable the conclusion to the whole Obamas subplot eventually turned out to be. Sookie, with the aid of helpful spirits that happened to be hanging out in her bedroom, figured out that Bud Dearborn might know who killed her parents. She went to see him about it and ended up getting knocked out by a frying pan-weilding Sweetie.

When she came to, Sookie discovered that she was tied up and trapped in a pig pin with Hoyt (and I have to say that I cringed a little at this because I grew up near enough farms that I have first hand experience with just how disgusting pigs really are). Luckily, it turned out that Dearborn and Sweetie were the type of villains who can’t ever just kill anyone without delivering a lengthy monologue beforehand. This, fortunately, gave Sam, Luna, Andy, and Jason time to show up at the barn and save the day. It also gave Andy a chance to prove his worth as a lawman by gunning down Bud Dearborn.

Meanwhile, in this episode’s other major plotline, True Blood factories across the world are being bombed and both vampires and humans are in a panic. Tara, at first, suggests to Pam that they should stock up on their supply of True Blood but Pam informs Tara that they will keep selling True Blood and, once they run out, they will discreetly feed on humans. Meanwhile, the Rev. Newlin is condemning the bombings, despite the fact that the Authority is secretly responsible.

That’s right. The new Salome-led Authority has figured out that the easiest way to provoke a war between humans and vampires is to cause a True Blood shortage. When Eric asks Bill if he truly thinks this is a good idea, Bill replies that he’s not sure but that he does know that he saw Lillith earlier. When Eric and Molly, the cool techie vampire who is my favorite new character this season because she just seems so annoyed with everything in general, attempt to escape from Authority Headquarters, they are apparently betrayed by Bill. So, is Bill now a true believer or does he have a plan of his own? I’m betting on the latter.

Speaking of manipulative vampires, Russell and the Rev. Newlin paid a visit on the wolf pack where, after putting J.D. in his place, Russell proceeded to take Emma (in wolf puppy form) out of Martha’s hands and gave her to the Rev. Newlin. While I’m always happy to see wolf puppy, this development made me go, “Agck!” Seriously, Rev. Newlin’s perpetual smile is so creepy!

Along with the Obamas, another subplot concluded with tonight’s episode but it was a subplot that nobody ever really cared that much about so I’ll just say that Terry finally killed Patrick and the fire demon appeared to be satisfied. So, good for Terry and Arlene.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

I have to admit that tonight’s episode was not one of my favorites. Part of the show’s appeal has always been its willingness to go to extremes but tonight’s episode felt over the top even for True Blood.
I also felt a bit cheated that the scene that popped up in all the previews for this episode — Bill apparently biting Sookie — turned out to just be an elaborate hallucination on Bill’s part. It’s hard not to feel that the show didn’t play fair as far as that was concerned.
Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 45.
Performance-wise, this episode really belonged to Chris Bauer. Andy may not be the smartest character on the show but Bauer brought some much needed depth to the role on tonight’s show.
Though she only had about a minute of screen time, Dale Dickey continues to make a strong impression in the role of Martha.
I would have to go back and rewatch the previous seasons to know for sure but some people online are complaining that Bud Dearborn’s villainy seemed to come out of nowhere. Simply going by my own faulty memory (and please remember, I do not claim to be a True Blood expert, merely a fan of the show), I can see their point. The episode seemed to suggest that Sweetie was the one who brought out his evil side but still…
William Sanderson, incidentally, is one of my favorite character actors. He has a special talent for creating Southern eccentrics (which may be because he apparently is a Southern eccentric himself) and I have to admit that I was a little sad to see his character so casually killed off tonight.
“I ain’t gmail for dead bitches!”
“I may be like a week old but I ain’t an idiot.”
Only 3 more episode left in the season!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Shark Week (dir. by Christopher Ray)

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched a little film called Shark Week on the SyFy channel.

Frankie Cullen in Shark Week

Why Was I Watching It?

I was watching for a few reasons. Number one, it was on the SyFy Network and that’s always a good sign. Number two, it’s the latest film to be produced by the folks at the Asylum and that’s usually another good sign that the film, if nothing else, is going to be an interesting viewing experience. Finally, some of the wittiest people on twitter were live tweeting this film and they were tolerant enough not to block me when I decided not to join in.

What’s It About?

It’s Saw Meets Jaws!

So, there’s this evil millionaire guy named Tiberon (played by Patrick Bergin) and he apparently owns a private island just south of the Florida keys and he’s a little bit upset because his son is dead and there’s 8 people that he holds responsible for the death. Those 8 people all have individual names but, to be honest, they’re all pretty interchangeable and I found it easier just to refer to them all by nicknames like Blue Shirt, Tattoo Girl, Skinny Vin Diesel, Ugly Katy Perry, and my personal favorite character in the entire film, Psuedo Arquette (who was played by Frankie Cullen).

Tiberon and his assistant Elena (played by Yancy Butler) kidnap our 8 victims and dump them on an island where they’re forced to fight for their right to live while having to deal with several shark-related booby traps. Why? I assume because the evil guy is named Tiberon (and yes, that’s how he spells it, according to the imdb). Just imagine if the guy was named Kittens. It would have been a totally different movie.

What Worked?

Speaking of the imdb, one reviewer over on that site has already declared that Shark Week is the worst film ever made. To him, I say, “Calm down, your judgmental toadsucker.” Shark Week is a low-budget film with a bunch of hammy acting and obviously cheap special effects. It’s also a lot of fun. Shark Week, like the best SyFy offerings, is a film that’s been specifically designed to inspire you to talk back to your TV. Shark Week is not a film that you watch alone while jotting down critical observations in your Hello Kitty notebook. Shark Week is a movie that you watch with a bunch of friends and you have a good time while doing so. Shark Week doesn’t take itself seriously and neither should you.

Plus, I absolutely adored Frankie Cullen, who played a character named Frankie. I, however, referred to him as Pseudo Arquette throughout the entire film because he really does look like a less goofy, more manly version of David Arquette. I mentioned on twitter that I thought Pseudo Arquette was the cutest guy on the island. “Sweetie, he’s a porn star,” someone tweeted back, referring to the fact that, outside of Shark Week, Cullen’s filmography is made up of movies like Celebrity Sex Tape, The Breastford Wives, The Devil Wears Nada, and Busty Coeds Vs. Lusty Cheerleaders. Well, no matter. I still loved my Psuedo Arquette.

Speaking of which, if I ever take up a second career as a super-powered crime fighter, I hope that the newspapers call me, “Busty CoEd.” As in, “Thank you, Busty CoEd, you saved our town! YAY!”

What Didn’t Work?

The title was a bit of a problem because the film appeared to take place over the course of just two or three days. Certainly, they weren’t on that island for an entire week. Add to that, we were using the #SharkWeek hashtag on twitter to talk about the film while we were watching it and, as a result, we had to deal with other people making random comments like, “I can’t wait for #SharkWeek to start on the Discovery Channel!” Seriously, it got a little annoying after a while.

“Oh my God! Just Like Me!” Moments

Much like Tattoo Girl and Ugly Katy Perry, I’m scared of sharks, too. That’s one of the many reasons why I always stay in the shallow end of the pool.

Lessons Learned

Two lessons learned: First off, you can literally do anything as long as you’re in international waters. Secondly, baby sharks are seriously cute.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Watch (dir. by Akiva Schaffer)

Posted on August 4, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, Jeff and I went down to the AMC Valley View and saw the new sci-fi comedy The Watch. The Watch has been getting universally negative reviews and it’s proving to be a bit of a bust at the box office (including Jeff and me, there were about 10 people at the showing we saw) but it was still a film that I was looking forward to seeing. This is largely because the film stars three actors — Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, and Vince Vaughn — who are rarely popular with film critics but who almost always seem to find a way to make me laugh.

In The Watch, Ben Stiller plays a suburbanite who deals with his frustrating existence by forming clubs and obsessing over his job as the manager of the local Costco. (Costco, by the way, is actually a major plot point in the overall film and I would say that close to 60% of the actual film either takes place in Costco or involves characters talking about how much they love Costco. Unlike a lot of critics, I’m not morally offended by blatant product placement but, even for me, The Watch went a little bit overboard with all the Costco hype.) Wen the security guard at the Costco is brutally murdered, Stiller decides to form a neighborhood watch so that he can track down the killer. After giving an impassioned speech at a high school football team, Stiller is able to recruit three more members of the neighborhood watch. Vince Vaughn is a goofy guy who is overprotective of his daughter. Jonah Hill is a psycho with a knife and a frustrated desire to be a policeman. And Richard Ayoade is … well, he’s kinda strange but that’s explained away by the fact that he’s apparently English.

And together, they solve crimes!

The solution in this case is that the suburbs have been invaded by aliens. Those aliens have a diabolical plan of their own and it’s up the Neighborhood Watch to stop them. And did I mention that all of this somehow involves Costco?

Because it totally does.

I think The Watch can best be summed up in one word: Forgettable. It’s not a great film but it has a few funny moments. Director Akiva Schaffer got his start directing comedic short films for Saturday Night Live and that’s pretty much the same approach that he brings to The Watch. Every scene feels like a self-contained short film and the end result is a wildly uneven movie that never finds a consistent tone or really seems to be sure just what type of story it’s trying to tell. The mix of raunchy comedy, sci-fi drama, and sentimental bromance never quite gels and, as a result, watching the film almost feels like being forced to try to concentrate on three different movies at once, never being allowed to truly focus on a single one of them.

However, taking all of that into account, I still have to say that I laughed out loud several times during The Watch. I may not have laughed quite as much as the 300 lbs. gentleman, sitting two rows behind us, who sounded as if he might choke to death every time Vince Vaughn delivered the line, “It feels like cum,” but I still laughed. The Watch is a funny movie. Quite frankly, with a cast like this, there’s no way that the movie couldn’t have been funny. The main thing that I love about watching Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill is the way that both of them bring an almost earnest sincerity to even the most ludicrous of roles. As a result, Hill and Vaughn are actors who can get laughs out of even the weakest of jokes and they certainly get a oppurtunity to prove it in The Watch. Meanwhile, Ayoade gives a wonderfully bizarre performance, scoring a lot of laughs just from being so consistently odd. Ben Stiller does his usual uptight suburbanite routine and makes a good straight man for his 3 co-stars. The Watch is at its best when it just lets its four stars hang out and play off of each other.

For such a forgettable film, The Watch has been the subject of some controversy. The film was originally titled Neighborhood Watch until, earlier this year, Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by a member of a real life neighborhood watch. The title was changed to avoid being “insensitive.” Regardless of the film’s title, I have to admit that I did cringe a little at a rather lengthy joke that involved the film’s heroes — all wearing their “neighborhood watch” jackets — firing several bullets into the body of an apparently dead alien. That said, The Watch is ultimately neither pro nor anti-neighborhood watch. In the end, the only thing that the film seems to truly believe in is the universal importance of Costco.

Review: True Blood S5E8 “Somebody That I Used To Know”

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of True Blood was memorable for many reasons but especially for being the directorial debut of Stephen Moyer. Moyer, who plays Bill and is married to Anna Paquin in real life, directs the Hell out of this episode and I mean that in absolutely the best way. Whether it’s the way that Moyer allows the camera to prowl restlessly through each scene or the hallucinatory feel that he brought to the staging of some tonight’s best moments, Moyer brought both a sense of mystery and an atmosphere of genuine menace to tonight’s episode. Those are two qualities that True Blood has occasionally struggled with this season and it was nice to see them so present tonight. As a result, tonight’s episode was one of the most memorable of the 5th season and I hope that future seasons of True Blood will find Moyer returning to the director’s chair.

Tonight’s episode also gave us what we’ve been waiting for all season: Naked Alcide.

Yes, apparently Alcide had moved on from his night with Sookie because tonight, we got an extended sequence of him having sex with his new werewolf girlfriend, Rikki. Rikki and Alcide talked quite a bit while they were doing it and I’m sure that they may have said something important but, to be honest, that scene was all about Naked Alcide.

Some people (though certainly not me — no never!) would argue that all this episode needed to be memorable was for Alicde to show up naked. However, some other pretty interesting things happened as well…

For instance, Luna turned into Sam! That’s right. While Sam and Andy were off interrogating the fat redneck that Sam captured during the previous episode, Luna stumbled over to the mirror in her hospital room and discovered that she had shifted into Sam. This was one of those great “WTF” moments and Sam Trammell did an excellent job playing both Sam and Luna tonight.

(And, to be honest, it never feels like a true season of True Blood unless something batshit crazy happens with Sam.)

That said, I do wish that tonight’s episode had done a bit more with Luna transforming into Sam. For all the possible ways that tonight’s scenario could have played out, the show was content to have Luna sneak out of the hospital and join up with Sam and Andy as they continued to track down the murderous rednecks. Eventually, Luna nearly collapsed (because, after all, she was in the hospital for a pretty good reason) and transformed back into herself while Sam held her. It was a sweet moment for the two characters but, at the same time, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more of Luna as Sam.

Speaking of the rednecks, they managed to kidnap Jessica and presented her to Hoyt as a “gift” of sorts. They handed Hoyt a gun and then, rather conveniently, all but one of them left the house so that Hoyt could murder his ex-girlfriend. Now, last week, I declared that Hoyt had managed to claim Andy’s former title of being the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps. However, tonight, Hoyt somewhat redeemed himself by not only refusing to kill Jessica but by helping Jessica kill the one redneck left behind to guard them.

Since the sun was out, Hoyt left Jessica behind in the house while he went to get help. However, even though Hoyt may no longer be the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps, he’s still a contender and he promptly managed to get himself lost. Finally, Hoyt managed to flag down a passing truck just to have the unseen driver pull a gun on him. I’m going to guess that the driver is also the dragon who was mentioned in last week’s episode.

The rednecks’ attempts to offer up Jessica as a sacrifice were paralleled by not one but two separate vampires on tonight’s episode. Pam invited Tara to feast on an old high school rival down in her club’s dungeon. Even more importantly, Bill drank the blood of a human girl who was offered to him by Salome.

This was an especially important scene because, up until this point, Bill has been a very outspoken supporter of mainstreaming. By his actions on tonight’s show, it would appear that Bill has now come over to the side of Salome, Nora, and Russell. Indeed, all of the members of the Authority were so impressed by the appearance of Lillith during last week’s episode that they’ve all pretty much abandoned Roman’s precious mainstreaming.

All of them, that is, except for Eric. Alexander Skarsgard had some of his best scenes of the season tonight as he brooded over the actions of his fellow vampires and argued with his “sister” Nora. Judging by tonight’s episode and the preview for next week, we appear to be heading for a major confrontation between the “born again” Bill and the always skeptical Eric and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Speaking of vampires, Sookie and Jason went to the faeries to try to discover which vampire killed their parents. With the help of the faeries, Sookie was able to enter her mother’s mind and see the attack that led to the death of her parents. However, she couldn’t get a clear view of the vampire’s face and, strangely, she also found herself entering into the mind of the vampire. This sequence, with its frequent jump cuts and distorted camera angles, was perhaps the best evidence offered up tonight that Stephen Moyer should direct more episode of True Blood once season 6 starts production.

Meanwhile, Lafayette has finally gotten smart enough to start demanding some sort of money for continually allowing himself to be possessed by dead people. He charges Arlene $300 to perform a séance where they attempt to convince the fire demon to stop chasing after Terry and Patrick. The ghost of dead Iraqi woman replies that the curse will only be lifted if Terry kills Patrick or Patrick kills Terry. Patrick responds by running out of the séance. Seeing as how Scott Foley is only a guest star, I’m going to guess that, one way or another, Patrick is going to be toast.

And did I mention that tonight’s episode featured Alcide naked?

Because it totally did.

Random observations:

Largely because of the sequence where Sookie flashes back to her parents being attacked and killed, this episode ended up with an unoffical scene count of 57.
I really hope that Bill comes to his senses soon.
How neat was it when Sam turned into that snake?
Was it just me or was Jason really cute tonight? This has really been a pretty good season for those of us who love Ryan Kwanten and his performance as the well-meaning but occasionally just a bit dense Jason.
I totally related to what Sookie was saying about waiting in line at the bank. Jason’s reaction was adorable and priceless.
Only 4 more episodes left!

Review: True Blood S5E7 “In The Beginning…”

Posted on July 22, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow.

That, in a word, sums up my reaction to tonight’s episode of True Blood. While I’ve enjoyed this season, I cannot deny that it’s been an uneven one with great episodes alternating with episodes that felt like they were mostly serving as filler. Tonight’s episode was one of the great ones and, if the final half of this season can continue to build on this episode’s momentum, season 5 of True Blood will be a memorable one indeed.

A lot of things happened on tonight’s episode of True Blood and I’m still taking them all in, even as I write this. This is going to be a review of first impressions and I make no apologies for that.

For a show that has often been in danger of coming across like a collection of random scenes and flamboyant quirks, tonight’s episode had a very definite and very strong theme and that was the theme of hate. Why do people (and vampires and werewolves) hate and how does it feel to be hated? Can hatred be ended or are we just fated to live our lives in a world that’s dominated by people trying to kill each other for reasons that don’t even seem to be all that apparent to them? At it’s best, True Blood has always served an allegory for the prejudices that have poisoned the past and which refuse to die in the present. That was certainly the case tonight. It was rarely subtle but then again, True Blood rarely is.

That’s kind of why some of us love it.

Where to begin with recapping this episode? Well, let’s start with Sookie. After having her little freakout at the Faerie nightclub, Sookie was subdued by two faeries who, once Sookie regained consciousness, informed her that she has to be careful with her magic powers because, since Sookie is only half-Faerie, she’s running the risk of depleting herself. As the faeries grimly explain to her, if she uses up her magical powers then she’ll no longer be half-faerie. Instead, she’ll just be normal. Sookie can barely disguise just how excited she is by this news.

Later, Sookie goes to the hospital to see Luna, who is still recovering from being shot by rednecks two episodes ago. While there, she talks to Sam and she asks him if he would want to be normal if he had the chance. Sam replies that he doesn’t know and that he really doesn’t have a choice in the matter. Sookie, however, does and she ends the episode lighting up the sky in an effort to deplete her magic.

As for Sam, he’s using his powers to continue to pursue the men who shot him and Luna He manages to catch one of them — who, somewhat predictably, is named Jim Bob — in the hospital.

Jim Bob’s friends, meanwhile, are busy hanging out with their new best friend, Hoyt. Usually, I find an excuse when writing these reviews to refer to Andy as being a dumbass. However, I may have to stop doing that because, as of late, Hoyt is a 100 times more of a dumbass than Andy. Having been “rescued” last week, Hoyt is apparently now a born again redneck and he seems to have little trouble joining up with this hate group and letting them know all about how angry he is at Jessica.

Yeah, Hoyt’s definitely a bigger dumbass than Andy.

But, as tonight’s episode proved, rednecks aren’t the only ones who are capable of hatred. Do you remember how, last week, I theorized that Russell wouldn’t actually kill Roman? Well, I was certainly wrong as tonight’s episode opened with Roman dead and Salome assuming control of the Authority. And, much as I (and a lot of other people) predicted, it was revealed tonight that it was Salome and not Nora who originally dug Russell up in the first place.

As the new head of the Authority, Salome not only releases Nora but also pardons Russell for killing Roman. Once the lone dissenting member of the Authority is killed by Russell, Salome leads the remaining members in drinking the blood of Lilith. Though originally hesitant, Bill and Eric both also drink the blood because, as Eric puts it, it’s just vampire’s blood.

In the very next scene, we find Nora, Salome, Russell, the Rev. Newlin, Eric, and Bill all drunkenly wandering the streets of New Orleans. While Russell and Newlin flirt, the other members of this happy group go out of their way to intimidate humans and announce that the city belongs to them. As if to prove their point, they then crash a party where they proceed to make a bloody (and almost disturbingly graphic) feast out of everyone there. Eventually, so much blood is spilled and so much hatred is released that a very naked Lilith suddenly appears and proceeds to walk over to where Nora is feeding on one unfortunate guest. As Eric, apparently lost in his own daze of a blood lust, watches Lilith and Nora, he suddenly has a vision of his own as Godric appears to remind him that he knows what he’s doing is wrong but, ominously, Nora does not.

(At this point, the show truly earned my review of “Wow.”)

As of tonight’s episode, it certainly appears as if that long-threatened war between humans and vampires is right around the corner…

Random Thoughts And Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 35.
Who do you think the Dragon is? I’m going to make an early guess and say that it’s Buddy Dearborn, if just because I can’t think of any other reason for including that scene where Andy goes to visit him.
I have to admit that I found the scenes where Lafayette attempted to get that spirit exorcised out of him to be almost unbearably disturbing and difficult to watch.
How hot was Alcide while he was training for his fight with J.D?
Though it didn’t do much to move the story forward, my favorite scene tonight was when Arlene was watching her wedding video. It was a sweet moment of calm in a stormy episode and Carrie Preston’s performance as Arlene really sold it.
This entire episode, in fact, was very well-acted. Denis O’Hare was all decadent evil as Russell and Anna Paquin’s scenes where she considers whether or not she wants to be normal were very well done.
As often happens whenever True Blood tackles the most serious of themes, this episode was full of some great one-liners. Here are some of my favorites:
“I don’t know how to make lunch so I made you breakfast instead.”
“Your son doesn’t have a grave because y’all ate him.”
“Hate group is about more than hate.”
While I think the show made the right decision when it came to killing off Roman, I’m still going to miss Chris Meloni’s performance in the role.