Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.24 “The Return of Hotsy Totsy”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, it’s Welcome Back, Rosalie!

Episode 3.24 “The Return of Hotsy Totsy”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on May 11th, 1978)

Using fakes IDs provided by Epstein, the Sweathogs go to a strip club and are shocked to see their former classmate from season one, Rosalie “Hotsy” Totsy (Debralee Scott), dancing on stage.  Rosalie is not particularly happy to see them either, especially when Horshack keeps calling out her name and saying “hi” while she’s performing.

At first, almost all of the Sweathogs are very judgmental of their former classmate, never mind the fact that 1) she has a baby to support and 2) they were the ones who went through all the trouble of getting fake IDs so that they could illegally go to the club to the first place.  Only Horshack refrains from judging Rosalie.  Instead, he gets an extra job so that can give the money to Rosalie and her baby.  Awwwwwww!

Fear not.  Gabe eventually finds out that his former student has fallen on hard times and with the help of Woodman, he finds employment for her as a receptionist.  That made me smile a little bit.  Being a receptionist is harder than a lot of people realize but I have faith in Rosalie.

This episode deserves some credit for explaining what happened to Rosalie, who was a fairly prominent character during the first half of season one before disappearing without an explanation.  I liked the fact that the episode was clearly on Rosalie’s side and not afraid to call out the Sweathogs on their misogyny.  Debralee Scott gave a heartfelt performance as Rosalie, reminding us of how edgy Gabe’s students used to be.

At the same time, it’s hard not to feel this episode would have worked better during the second season, before the Sweathogs became caricatures and, even more importantly, when Robert Hegyes, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, and Ron Pallilo could still convincingly pass for being young enough to need fake IDs to get into a bar.  (Travolta, who was the youngest of them all, was the only one who still made for a convincing teenager during season 3.)  Watching this episode, it was hard not to regret how the show transformed Horshack from just being slightly eccentric to being someone who appeared to come from a totally separate planet.  Ron Palllilo, it must be said, still managed to give a good performance in this episode but the character was still so broadly drawn that it was hard to believe that the Sweathogs would have invited him to the strip club to begin with.  Still, his interactions with Rosalie were undeniably sweet.  Horshack may be annoying but he’s a good person.

Interestingly, this episode was written by Gabe Kaplan.  Perhaps that explains why Marcia Strassman’s Julie only gets a few seconds of screentime and only one line of dialogue.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.7 “Wax Magic”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Ryan and Jack go to a carnival!

Episode 2.7 “Wax Magic”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on November 14th, 1988)

Unable to get a date, loser Ryan convinces Jack to go to a traveling carnival with him.

(Okay, maybe “loser” is a bit harsh.  I like Ryan and I think John D. LeMay did a pretty good playing him on the series but seriously, in this episode, Ryan is oddly whiny.  Then again, I would think that Ryan would be more careful about trying to date anyone, considering that everyone with whom he falls in love either dies or is his cousin, Micki.)

Ryan and Jack discover that the carnival has been rocked by a series of decapitations.  Ryan suspects that it might involve the creepy wax figure exhibit that is run by Aldwin Chase (Angelo Rizacos).  Aldwin is incredibly jealous of but also very abusive towards his wife, Marie (Susannah Hoffman).  Whenever someone shows too much interest in Marie, they are visited by a wax figure of Lizzie Borden.  Guess who Ryan develops an obviously doomed crush on?

This was an effectively creepy episode and, with its scenes of carnival goers losing their heads, it felt like it had more in common with the Friday the 13th movies than some of the other episodes.  Towards the end of the episode, Jack and Ryan are actually attacked in the antique shop and it’s actually a bit jolting, a reminder that nowhere is safe.  The show ends with a twist about Marie that’s not particularly but it’s effective nonetheless.  In the role of Jack, Chris Wiggins gets to deliver another one of his monologues about the nature of evil and, as always, he pulls it off wonderfully.

That said, Micki is not in this episode and that’s unfortunate.  Micki is the character to whom I relate, mostly because we’re both redheads with big boobs and, therefore, we share the same struggle.  There have been plenty of episode where Jack was said to be off on another mission and, in those cases, that actually raised the stakes because it left Micki and Ryan without their mentor.  But not having Micki present just felt weird.  Unlike Ryan, I guess she was actually able to get a date.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Terri’s ex-boyfriend is in town and T.S. is largely indifferent.

Episode 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 24th, 1990)

Terri’s ex-boyfriend from college, Zack (Patrick McKenna), is in town.  He tells her that he’s in town testifying as an expert witness in a trial but soon, he also reveals that he’s involved in another get-rich-quick-scheme.  He’s looking for investors to fund a search for a treasure that was lost at sea.  While Turner reacts with his usual indifference, Terri worries that Zack is conning all of her friends.

This was a bizarrely inconsequential episode of a show that, by its third season, had pretty much lost whatever reason it once had for existing.  It’s an episode about Terri dealing with her past and her future but since we really don’t know much about Terri — beyond the fact that she suddenly showed up at the start of the third season and everyone on the show has been acting like she’s always been around — there’s not really much emotional resonance to be found in an episode about her having to deal with a former boyfriend who might be a conman.  Watching this episode, I again reflected on how weird it is that no one ever mentions Amy or why she’s no longer on the show.  I’ve always assumed that, since they share the same last name, Terri is meant to be Amy’s sister but it seems odd that her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t even ask how Amy or any other member of Terri’s family is doing.

This episode wasn’t a total loss.  Patrick McKenna gave a pretty good performance as Zack.  And I’ll admit that I did laugh when Detective Hargrove went from trying to arrest Zack to agreeing to invest in his scheme.  For the most part, though, this was an episode that didn’t add up to much.  Mr. T looked even more bored than usual.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.13 “Alone”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Highway to Heaven moved me to tears.

Episode 2.13 “Alone”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 8th, 1986)

Arnie (played by John Franklin, the head little baddie in the original version of Children of the Corn) is a developmentally challenged boy who ran away from home because his father was abusive.  Now, he lives in a box in an alley and his only companion is an adorable calico kitty that he’s named Thomas.  (Some, I know, will be tempted to point out that almost all calico cats are female but it should also be remembered that cats also don’t care what we name them as long as we remember to pet and feed them.)  On his birthday, he steals a muffin, a candle, and a can of tuna.  While Thomas eats, Arnie wishes that he could have just one friend.

*sniff*  Sorry, got something in my eye….

Suddenly, Jonathan and Mark are standing in front of him.  Jonathan introduces himself as an angel and says that he’s here to make Arnie’s wish come true.

Sorry, I’m getting teary-eyed here.

Jonathan and Mark have gotten a job as construction workers for a rancher named Morgan (Gerald Gordon).  Morgan’s son, Larry (Danny McMurphy), spends all of his time in bed because he never feels well enough to go outside.  There’s nothing physically wrong with Larry.  Instead, his illness is a result of his depression over his parents splitting up.

As you can probably guess, Arnie does meet Larry.  And they do become friends.  And Arnie does give his birthday wish to Larry so that Larry can be healthy and so his parents will get back together.  And yes, Morgan and Larry do end up adopting both Arnie and Thomas.

I’ll admit that I cried while watching this episode.  Make no mistake, there was a part of me that realized just how heavy-handed the episode was.  I knew I was being manipulated and occasionally, I did resent how blatant it all was.  But I still cried, because it was a sweet story and Thomas the Calico was such a sweet kitty.  It was manipulative (there’s that word again, I know) but the themes of the story — friendship, loneliness, sadness, and the joy of taking care of an animal — were all universal and the manner that they were dealt with was almost achingly sincere.  When Jonathan admonished a store owner for wanting to call the police just because Arnie stole some cat food to feed his only companion, it’s obvious that Landon was speaking from the heart.  This episode was the epitome of Highway to Heaven — unashamedly sentimental, not at all subtle, and far more effective than it perhaps had any right to be.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.6 “My Hero”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s time for another episode of the worst show ever produced by Peter Engel!

Episode 1.6 “My Hero”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 15th, 1998)

Jason and Stads are finally admitting that they are a couple.  Normally, I would say that this is a step forward for them and a sign of growing maturity but Jason still cannot stand the fact that his girlfriend is more athletic to him.  (Did it not occur to Jason that Stads works as a lifeguard, a job that requires a certain amount of athleticism?)  Stads beats Jason at foosball.  She beats him at tennis.  She beats him at basketball.  She beats him at everything so, of course, when someone tries to rob the restaurant, Stads lets Jason have all the credit for knocking him out despite the fact that she’s the one who did it.

Oh yeah, this is a healthy relationship….

Everyone celebrates Jason as a hero.  Traycee gives him a picture of David Hasselhoff to sign.  The local news wants to do a story on him, for some reason.  Jason lets all the adulation go to his head and, on live television, says that Stads was cowering in a corner while he defeated the robber.  Stads proceeds to call him out and reveal what really happened, again on live television.

So, I guess that’s the end of that relationship, right?  Nope.  Jason apologizes and Stads takes him back because it would appear that Stads has no self-esteem.  Seriously, Stads — you’re a blonde lifeguard with a sweet personality.  YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN JASON!  (That said, I probably would have at least let him win a game or two of tennis, just to be nice.  And I wouldn’t have played basketball at all because everyone always seems to end with a skinned knee or a broken nose whenever they play that game.  Foosball, though …. TAKE NO PRISONERS!)

This is yet another episode of Malibu, CA where the main theme is that Jason Collins is the second worst person on the planet.  (The worst, of course, is his brother, Scott.)  Whiney and entitled is no way to go through life.

Speaking of being whiney, Scott is upset that Murray keeps tagging along on all of his dates with Sam.  So, Scott sets up Murray up with a girl who is as into surfing as Murray is.  Suddenly, Scott discovers that Murray is a big believer in double dating. Scott tries to explain to Murray that he’s becoming a third wheel but Murray thinks that Scott is talking about Murray’s new girlfriend so Murray dumps her so that he can spend all of his time with Scott and Sam.  Ha!  Take that, Scott, ya schmuck!

I hate this show.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.19 “The Return of the Ninny/Touchdown Twins/Split Personality”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, a familiar face sets sail for adventure.

Episode 4.19 “The Return of the Ninny/Touchdown Twins/Split Personality”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 14th, 1981)

Oh hey, it’s Charo!

It seems like just yesterday that I was watching her on Fantasy Island.  Oh wait, it was!

Charo returns to The Love Boat in her regular role as April Lopez.  The former stowaway-turned-singer-turned nanny boards the ship so that she and her two charges — Gayle (Rachel Jacobs) and Jerry (Alex Woodard) — can say goodbye to their father and April’s employer, Ty Younger (Larry Linville).  Ty is taking a vacation with his materialistic girlfriend (Arlene Martel), whom April dislikes.  Ty is looking forward to getting away from the kids for a while but — whoops! — April and the kids don’t get off the boat in time and soon, they’re intruding on Ty’s vacation.  It turns out to be a good thing because, after April learns that Ty’s girlfriend wants to send the kids away to a private school, she’s able to break up Ty’s relationship and keep the entire family together.  Yay!

Frank (Vincent Van Patten) boards the boat with college football teammate, Billy (Phillip Burns).  Billy can’t wait to hit on all the women who are his own age but Frank has decided that he’s in love with Billy’s mom, Meg (Samantha Eggar).  Captain Stubing likes Meg to but Frank shoves him out of the way on the dance floor and says that Meg is officially his MILF.  Billy gets upset and blames Frank …. no, actually, that would make too much sense.  Instead, Billy accuses his mother of leading on his best friend!  (Nobody mentions that Frank himself has spent the entire cruise acting like an unhinged stalker.)  It all works out in the end, of course.  Frank realizes that Meg doesn’t share his feelings and he decides to start dating women his own age.  Billy realizes that his mom is not a tramp.  Meg says she’s proud of the man that Billy has become.  (A man who accuses his own mom of being a tramp?  That kind of man?)  Stubing, once again, fails to get anywhere in his romantic pursuits and Vicki misses out on another potential stepmother.  Yay, I guess?  This story was actually kind of depressing.

Finally, Nick (Michael Lembeck) is an old college friend of Gopher’s.  Nick wants to be executive vice president of a company that it owned by the conservative and stodgy Arnold Hamilton (Ralph Bellamy).  When he’s with Arnold, Nick dresses like Arnold and he claims to agree with everything that Arnold says.  Nick also wants to marry a passenger that he just met, Linda (Laurette Spang).  Linda is almost a parody of a limousine liberal so when Nick is with her, he agrees with everything she says about oppression and the evils of money and he talks about his time as a labor organizer.  Nick is lying to both of them but it’s not like they’ll ever meet …. except, LINDA IS ARNOLD’S DAUGHTER!  Fear not, it all works out in the end.  Nick tells Arnold that he needs to change with the times and he tells Linda that she knows nothing about the working man.  Nick gets his promotion and a girlfriend.  Yay!

This was a pretty forgettable episode, even with Charo running around the ship in a panic over the children.  The storyline that worked best was the one with Michael Lembeck, Ralph Bellamy, and Laurette Sprang, though Bellamy was perhaps a bit too naturally likable to be totally convincing as a ruthless businessman.  (Even in old age, Bellamy had the simple, nice guy aura that always led to him losing the girl to Cary Grant.)  For the most part, this was a serviceable but not particularly memorable cruise.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.7 “Curse of the Mirrored Box”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, it’s all about the voodoo!

Episode 2.7 “Curse of the Mirrored Box”

(Dir by Jon Cassar, originally aired on November 10th, 1996)

Mitch is contacted by Celia (Tracey Ross), the mother of a girl named Annie who Mitch once saved from drowning.  (Ryan is a bit dumbfounded that Mitch apparently keeps in contract with the people that he has saved as a lifeguard and, to be honest, so am I.  I mean, I bing watched Baywatch two years ago and Mitch saved a lot of people!)  Annie (Maria Celedonio) is now a rebellious teenager and has apparently joined a Voodoo cult!

(Seriously, Annie, way to repay Mitch for saving you from the ocean!)

Mitch and Ryan’s attempts to free Annie from the cult bring them into conflict with the leader of the cult, Papa Doc (Adam Lazarre-White).  Papa Doc puts a voodoo curse on Mitch and, as a result, the episode is full of moments in which Mitch goes into a glassy-eyed trance.

For the most part, not much happens in this episode.  It doesn’t take Mitch and Ryan that long to track down the cult and it also doesn’t take them that long to track down a voodoo priestess (Kiki Shepard) who can help them battle Papa Doc.  It’s a bit of slow episode and it’s portrayal of voodoo and its practitioners reaches back to every cliche and stereotype imaginable.  There’s a lot of dancing.  There’s a lot of altars.  There’s a lot of close-ups of Papa Doc chanting.  Basically, it’s Live and Let Die in Malibu, without the swagger of Yaphet Kotto, the charm of Roger Moore, or the otherworldly beauty of Jane Seymour.

But no matter!  The episode works because you haven’t lived until you’ve seen David Hasselhoff pretend to be possessed by a voodoo priest.  The Hoff has never been a particularly subtle actor.  That’s always been a part of his charm.  When you combine his natural style with scenes of him shaking, bugging out his eyes, and trying to shake the evil spirts out of his head, you have a Hasselhoff performance for the ages.

It makes for an entertaining episode, even if it’s not one of the show’s more memorable ones.  Hasselhoff’s possessed performance saves the day.  It’s amazing what a little magic and a voodoo doll can do.

One final note: After being absent for the last few episodes (albeit still listed in the opening credits), both Donna D’Errico and Eddie Cibrian appear in this episode.  Neither really gets to do much, reminding us once again that the show’s writers were never really sure what to do with either Donna or Griff.  Dorian Gregory (who played Daimont) does not appear, which is odd as it seems like Daimont would have been the first person that Ryan would have called once it become obvious that Mitch was cursed.  Seriously, what’s the point of being friends with a mysterious occult expert if you can’t find him when you need him?

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.5 “Mr. Nobody/La Liberatora”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

This week, Charo shows up but Tattoo doesn’t.

Episode 5.5 “Mr. Nobody/La Liberatora”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 7th, 1981)

Once again, we have an episode the features only stock footage of Tattoo shouting, “The plane, the plane!”  Otherwise, Herve Villechaize is not in this episode.

What excuse does Mr. Roarke come up with this week to explain Tattoo’s absence?

He’s hung over.

Seriously, that’s what Mr. Roarke goes with!  He explains to Julie that Tattoo was up very late, helping another guest celebrate a drunken fantasy.  It must be said that Ricardo Montalban seems to be quite amused to be labeling his sidekick a drunk.  Apparently, Herve Villechaize was holding out for more money when this episode was shot and I’m guessing Tattoo being hung over was a “take that” on the part of the show’s producers.  To be honest, it feels a bit petty.

It falls to Julie to help Charles Atkins (Sherman Hemsley) fulfill his fantasy.  Charles is a short man who has been picked on by bullies all his life.  He wants to feel strong and confident.  Julie gives him a potion that she thinks will give him “inner strength” but — whoops! — instead it turns Charles into the world’s strongest man.  As Roarke admonishes Julie for not being specific when she ordered her potion, Charles embarks on a wrestling career.  Can Charles defeat Sampson Smith (H.B. Haggerty), the most savage wrestler in the world?  Or will he instead fall in love with Sampson’s publicist, Carrie Wilson (Vernee Watson) and realize that true strength comes from inside?  We all know the answer.  A more important question is whether Mr. Roarke will ever be foolish enough to let Julie handle a fantasy again?

This fantasy was nothing special.  The comedy was a bit too broad, though I did like the heartfelt performances of both Sherman Hemsley and Vernee Watson.  The main problem is that the whole thing hinged on Julie screwing up in a way that really didn’t make any sense.  Surely, she would have been smart enough to make sure she had the right potion before giving it to Charles.  I mean, not being careful with your potions sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Surely, Mr. Roarke would have kept a closer eye on his goddaughter as she handled her first fantasy ever.  Poor bumbling Julie doesn’t really work as a sidekick.  The show suffers without Villechaize’s snarky attitude.

Villechaize’s absence means that we also miss the chance to see him acting opposite Charo and that just seems like a crime against pop culture.  I have to admit that I was a little worried when I saw Charo’s name in the opening credits, largely because I thought she would be playing her silly Love Boat character.  Instead, Charo plays a world-famous guitarist named Dolores DeMurica, whose fantasy is to go back to the days of Spanish California and meet her ancestor, the famous El Lobo Rojo.  (El Lobo Rojo is basically Zorro but if Fantasy Island’s producers weren’t going to give Herve Villechaize a raise, they certainly weren’t going to pay for the rights to Zorro.)

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by Charo’s fantasy.  There was a lot of swashbuckling action, Cesare Danova and Alex Cord both gave good supporting performances, and Charo seemed to be energized by playing a character who, while comedic, was not quite as silly as The Love Boat‘s April.  Charo actually gave a pretty good performance here and the entire fantasy was fast-paced and fun to watch.  It would have been even more fun if Tattoo had shown up but it was not to be.

This episode was a mixed bag, with one forgettable fantasy and one entertaining fantasy.  In the end, both fantasies would have been better with Tattoo.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.8 “The Grudge”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch and Baker face their greatest enemy …. frat boys with a grudge!

Episode 2.8 “The Grudge”

(DIr by John Florea, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

When Baker and Ponch attempt the warn the driver of an RV about the fact that his vehicle won’t be able fit through a tunnel, the driver reacts by trying to speed away.  That’s because the driver is a frat boy and the RV is full of marijuana (or “Cannabis Rex!” as another frat boy puts it).  This leads to the RV not only crashing in the tunnel but also Baker and Ponch busting all of the frat boys for possession.

A few months later, the frat boys are horrified when, despite only getting probation, they are still suspended from college and their fraternity is kicked off campus.  The frat boys decide to get revenge on Baker and Ponch by playing a series of practical jokes.  They send Baker and Ponch mysterious letters.  They toss a bunch of fake money on the highway, causing a slow motion wreck.  They try to disrupt the CHiPs open house, over which Baker and Ponch have been put in charge.

This was a bit of a silly episode.  The frat boys somehow had the ability to always know exactly where Ponch and John were.  For some reason, Ponch and John didn’t do the obvious and bust the frat boys for violating their probation.  Sgt. Getraer, meanwhile, spends almost the entire episode being a jerk.  He puts Ponch and Baker in charge of the open house and then gets mad at them for working on it while on the clock.  Well, when are they supposed to work on it?

The episode did feature one good car crash.  In fact, not only were multiple vehicles destroyed but it all happened in slow motion.  That made up for a lot.  Still, in the end, The Grudge was just a bit too silly to really work.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.18 “French Twist”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett learns an important lesson about trusting the French.

Episode 2.18 “French Twist”

(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired on February 21st, 1986)

An infamous French drug dealer and terrorist named Bandi (Xavier Coronel) has escaped from a Canadian prison and  surfaced in Miami, where he murders an innocent hospital worker and takes off with a van full of morphine.  While Tubbs tries to protect the only witness, a rebellious teenage photographer named Cindy (Shari Headley), Crockett works closely with Danielle Hier (Lisa Eichorn), a French INTERPOL agent who has been sent to Miami by her boss, Zolan (played, in an odd cameo, by folk singer Leonard Cohen).

In fact, Crockett may be working a bit too closely with Danielle because he’s the only person who doesn’t seem to notice that there’s something suspicious about her.  Tubbs feels that there’s something that Danielle is not telling the Vice Squad and he’s right.  While Castillo is under orders to take Bandi alive so he can be sent to face prison in Canada, Danielle has been sent to assassinate Bandi on behalf of French Intelligence.

This is a typically cynical episode of Miami Vice.  The latter half of the first season and the majority of the second season have been full of episodes in which competing government agencies screw up Tubbs and Crockett’s efforts to clean up Miami.  This episode is unique in that the competing government agency is French but otherwise, the theme remains the same.  The War on Drugs can never be won because too many people are benefitting from it.  When watched today, it’s helpful to have some knowledge of what was going on in France from the 60s to the 80s.  Many French terrorist organizations — on both the left and the right — funded their activities through the heroin trade and it’s easy to see Bandi as a stand-in for the infamous ex-OAS drug lords of the era.  As for Danielle, it’s mentioned that one of her previous missions involved blowing up a Greenpeace boat, which is something that French Intelligence actually did around the same time that this episode aired.

This is yet another episode the ends with a fateful gunshot in the night.  In this case, it’s Crockett killing his lover to save his partner.  It’s an ending that doesn’t quite have the emotional resonance to it that it’s had when used during previous episodes, largely because there’s very little romantic or sexual chemistry between Don Johnson and Lisa Eichorn.  Eichorn, who was so good in Cutter’s Way, struggles a bit with her French accent and the final twist involving her character feels a bit too obvious.  It’s hard to believe that Sonny — world-weary Sonny who lives on a boat and whose best friend is a crocodile and who has experienced plenty of CIA duplicity in both Vietnam and Miami — wouldn’t have been able to see right through her.

This was a forgettable episode, one that went through the motions without making much of an impression.  It happens …. even in Miami.