Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.9 “Romance Times Three/The Night of the Tormented Soul”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Smiles, everyone, smiles!  It’s time to visit the Island.

Episode 5.9 “Romance Times Three/The Night of the Tormented Soul”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on December 5th, 1981)

This week again finds Tattoo working as Roarke’s assistant, which again means that the episode opens with Julie explaining that she won’t be able to help out Roarke and Tattoo with any of the new people coming to the Island.  What makes this week memorable as far as Julie excuses are concerned is that the reason Julie can’t help is because she’s been given a difficult task by Tattoo.  A 300-pound woman has come to the Island with a fantasy of leading the Charge of the Light Brigade and Tattoo has told Julie to find a horse for her.  Tattoo smirks as Julie tells Roarke.  Roarke wishes Julie luck while declining to help her himself.

As for the fantasies, let’s get the boring one out of the way first.  Sally Harris (Georgia Engel) works for a phone answering service.  I had to look this up via Google but apparently a phone answering service was something that people and companies used in the days before texts, voice mail and email.  Someone like Sally would answer the phone for you, collect your messages, and then call you later to give them to you.  I guess it was something that companies did when they were too cheap to hire a receptionist or a personal assistant.  I don’t know, it just seems strange to me.

Sally has fallen in love with three of her clients, though she hasn’t actually met any of them.  Jack (Frank Bonner) is a bon vivant who calls her for love advice.  Tony (Frank Converse) is a businessman who calls her for financial advice.  Ben (David Groh) is a writer who often discusses his writer’s block with Sally.  All three of the men have come to the Island.  Sally fears how the men will react to discovering the real her so Mr. Roarke casts a spell and tells Sally that each men will see her the way that he thinks of her.  Tony sees Sally as a prim and determined businesswoman.  Jack sees her as a dark-haired seductress.  And Ben sees her as a …. well, as a clown.  He has always resented Sally’s advice.  Of course, Ben is the one who ultimately falls in love with the real Sally.

It’s not a bad idea for a fantasy but it doesn’t really work because Georgia Engel isn’t convincing whenever she takes on any of Sally’s different personas.  No matter what costume she’s wearing, she still delivers all of her lines in this high-pitched whisper that sometimes make it difficult to understand what she’s saying.  (She’s not quite as inaudible here as she was in Jennifer Slept Here but still, I did struggle to hear everything she said.)  The men are all thinly written, as well.  I was glad she ended up with the writer but in the end, I really wouldn’t have cared that much if she had ended up with the businessman or the sex addict.

The better fantasy features Stephen Shortridge and Dianne Kay as Jason and Beth Martinique.  When they were children, Beth and Jason survived a shipwreck and washed up on the shore of Fantasy Island.  They were raised by a local millionaire, Richard Martinique (Richard Anderson) and their nanny, Blanche Barrens (Elinor Donahue).  Both Richard and Ms. Barrens died one stormy night.  Richard was shot and Ms. Barrens’s neck was broken in a fall.  Jason and Beth want to go back to their childhood home so they can learn what happened that night.  Fortunately, the ghosts of Richard and Ms. Barrens are still in the mansion, giving Jason and Beth a chance to see the tragic accident that led to the deaths of both Richard and Ms.  Barrens.  Even better, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo show up to inform Jason and Beth that they aren’t really brother-and-sister and therefore, they are free to pursue a romance.  That’s good because, before Roarke showed up, Jason and Beth were gazing at each other like the brother and sister from the old Folger’s commercial.  You know who I’m talking about.

I always enjoy it when Fantasy Island deals with ghosts and haunted mansions and this fantasy was filled with atmosphere and melodrama.  The accident that led to death of Richard and Ms. Barrens was ludicrous and yet somehow poignant at the same time.

So, an overall mixed review on this episode but I think the ghost fantasy makes up for the other fantasy.  Plus, Tattoo gets to show off his karate skills!  Let’s see Julie do that!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.12 “High Explosive”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week’s episode is all about mistakes.

Episode 2.12 “High Explosive”

(Dir by Barry Crane, aired on December 9th, 1978)

This week’s episode features Jon Baker competing in a rodeo.  That’s not really a surprise.  Since the show began, it’s been established that Baker is a cowboy at heart and this episode is certainly not the first time that he’s mentioned growing up on a ranch in Wyoming.  (Larry Wilcox, himself, grew up in Wyoming and had some real-life rodeo experience.)  What is interesting is to listen to how the various actors pronounce the word rodeo.

Most of them, to their credit, pronounce it correctly.  A rodeo — that is, an event involving cowboys, steers, clowns, and all the rest — is pronounced “road-ee-oh.”  That’s how Larry Wilcox, Robert Pine, and the majority of the cast pronounce it.  Erik Estrada and Paul Linke, however, both pronounce it “Roe-Day-Oh,” as in the famous street in Beverly Hills.  Just a tip to any of our readers up north: Down here in the southwest, we pronounce it with a “dee” and not a “day.”

As for the rest of the episode, it’s all about mistakes.  For instance, ambulance driver Brad Holmes (Steve Oliver) loses his job after he gets arrested for reckless driving.  Desperate for money and not wanting to tell his wife that he lost his job, he agrees to transport a huge amount of old and unstable dynamite and he steals an ambulance with which to transport it!  Not smart.  Brad is an even worse driver with the explosives in the ambulance.  Ponch and Baker chase him down and Brad crashes on a playground.  While Ponch and Baker arrest Brad, a bunch of kids pick up the dynamite.  UH-OH!  Fortunately, Brad helps Ponch and Baker get the dynamite back.  He asks Ponch and Baker to put in a good word with the judge.

(Yeah …. I don’t know how many good words you can really put in for someone who used a stolen ambulance to transport highly unstable explosives through a heavily populated area of Los Angeles.)

Meanwhile, 14 year-old Barry (Ike Eisenmann) accidentally shoots a car with his pellet gun.  The car crashes.  The driver, Mary Barnes (Roseanne Katon), survives with minor injuries but her sister nearly dies.  Mary says that she wants to press charges against Barry.  She doesn’t care that he’s only 14.  Baker and Ponch arrange for Mary to spend the day at the rodeo with Barry, so that she can see that he’s just a scared kid who didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  Barry is from Utah and lonely and Baker and Ponch feel sorry for him.

But you know what?  The fact of the matter is that Barry is 14.  He’s not some 10 year-old kid.  He’s a teenager.  He’s old enough to know better than to shoot a pellet gun around a busy highway.  Barry is a lonely kid and that sucks.  But again, he nearly killed someone and he caused a huge wreck.  I’m on Mary’s side.  Throw the book at Barry.  Letting Barry get away with doing something that stupid isn’t going to be good for him or anyone else.  Mary, however, disagrees with me.  Barry’s off the hook and he even gets to go to the rodeo.

What a frustrating episode!  Ponch and Baker let me down but at least one of them knows how to pronounce rodeo.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners.  His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang).  Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him.  Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement.  He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods.  Jumbo calls everyone “man.”  Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper.  Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs.  Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who.  The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot.  When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s.  That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent.  One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else.  The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment.  Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground.  Skip and his friends are rich.  They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters.  This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice.  Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted.  Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why.  Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling.  Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys.  He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller.  And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law.  Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.8 “Star-Crossed”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week …. oh, it’s just another episode about the Farrell twins.

Episode 3.8 “Star-Crossed”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 23rd, 1989)

Hey, it’s another episode where the Farrell twins switch places!

This time, it’s because Erica has a crush on Clutch (Steve Bedernjak) but, because Erica is too shy to ask herself, Heather is the one who ends up asking Clutch’s friends about Clutch’s “star sign.”  (He’s a Virgo, by the way.)  Clutch hears that Heather was asking about him and he asks Heather if she wants to go on a date with him.  Erica is disappointed but then she and Heather decide to switch places.  As Heather, Erica goes with Clutch to the school’s big Bowl-a-rama.  Later the real Heather shows up and switches places with Erica.  It’s all a bit confusing and annoying but, in the end, it really doesn’t matter because Clutch was only talking to the twins so that he could get close to their friend, Lucy.

(Lucy previously dated Clutch’s best friend.  That relationship didn’t end well but apparently, Clutch is not a very good friend.  Actually, Lucy doesn’t appear to be a very good friend either.  Lucy has kind of taken Stephanie Kaye’s place as the spoiled girl with no self-awareness.)

(As for someone using the twins as a way to get close to another girl, this seems to happen quite often with the Farrell twins.  Frankly, the twins are kind of creepy with the way that they’re always looking up and staring at the exact same time.  They give off definite Village of the Damned vibes.)

Meanwhile, Wheels is finally coming out his shell and even agrees to go to the Bowl-a-rama with Joey and Snake.  But then a random bully makes the mistake of pushing Wheels and then suggesting that Wheels go home and “cry to mommy and daddy about it.”  Wheels snaps and attacks the bully.  As a result, Wheels ends up not only getting suspended but grounded as well.  It sucks to be Wheels but, as fans of the entire franchise know, this is nothing compared to the bad stuff that’s waiting right around the corner for him.

Finally, at the Bowl-a-rama, Simon and Alexa get back together.  I didn’t even remember that they had broken up but no matter.  They’re a cute couple.  As Simon and Alexa pass the depressed Farrell twins, Alexa says, “I love a happy ending, don’t you?”  Alexa’s the greatest character ever.

This episode felt a bit inconsequential, as episodes that focus on the Farrell twins tend to be.  There’s really not much that can be done with the Farrell twins, beyond having them switch places and occasionally get mad when people can’t tell them apart.  Still, at least Simon and Alexa got back together.  I love a happy ending.

Retro Television Review: The Last Fling (dir by Corey Allen)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1987’s The Last Fling!  It  can be viewed on YouTube and Tubi.

Phillip Reed (John Ritter) is an attorney who has never gotten married, despite all of his friends trying to set him up with single women.  Even his law partner (Scott Bakula) worries about how Phillip’s love life is going.  Phillip’s married best friends (Paul Sand and Kate Zentall) think that Phillip is scared of commitment.  Phillip’s mother (Paddi Edwards) thinks he’s gay.  Joanne Preston (Shannon Tweed) enjoys sleeping with him but she owns a lot of cats that make him sneeze.  And since he’s played by John Ritter, you better believe that every sneeze is more dramatic than the last.

Gloria Franklin (Connie Selleca) is engaged to marry Jason Elliot (John Bennett Perry) but she worries that her rigidly controlled lifestyle has caused her to miss out on enjoying her time as a single person.  When she finds out that Jason is going to go to Las Vegas for a wild bachelor party, she decides to have one last fling of her own.

Phillip and Gloria meet each other at the zoo.  (Again, because Phillip is played by John Ritter, there are multiple shots of him making monkey noises while looking at the gorillas.)  Gloria tells Phillip that her name is Marsha Lyons.  Their meeting leads to Phillip and Gloria/Marsha spending the weekend in Mexico together.  (A very young, pre-Saved By The Bell Mario Lopez shows up as the kid who gives them their renal car.)  Despite an unseen mishap that causes their car to catch on fire, Phillip and Gloria spend a romantic night at a villa.  When Phillip wakes up the next morning, he’s convinced that he’s finally found the woman with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life.  However, Gloria is already gone.  She leaves behind a video confession, in which she tells Phillip that she’s going to be getting married.

Phillip returns to Los Angeles, determined to track down the mysterious Gloria and stop that wedding.

The Last Fling is an uneven romantic comedy.  It starts out as an amiable and sweetly funny film, with both Connie Sellecca and John Ritter giving likable performances.  But once Phillip returns from Mexico and starts searching for Gloria, it gets a bit too manic for its own good.  Instead of being a funny movie about two human beings looking for love, it instead becomes a live-action cartoon with John Ritter running from one location to another while being chased by Gloria’s husband-to-be.  The movie ends up getting so frantic that it actually becomes a bit annoying, which is a shame considering how things started.  By the end of the movie, Phillip is so obsessive that it’s hard not to feel that Gloria would be better off just staying single and maybe spending the next weekend in Mexico with Scott Bakula.

The director of The Last Fling played Buzz in Rebel Without A Cause.  Fortunately, no one plays chicken in this movie.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.11 “Short One Jockey”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard is irresponsible with money!

Episode 2.11 “Short One Jockey”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 26th, 1986)

Howard has a gambling problem!

That’s one of the major things that we learn about Howard during this week’s episode of Check It Out!  Interestingly enough, Don Adams, the actor who played Howard, was also something of a notorious gambler.  I can’t really find anything online as to whether or not Adams was actually a good gambler or if he was one of those gamblers who was constantly in debt to the mob.  If the latter was true, that might explain how he ended up agreeing to do a show like Check It Out!

Anyway, this episode features Howard taking the $2,000 that the members of the store’s staff have spent a year saving up to the track.  ($2,000 may sound like a lot but remember, this is Canadian money we’re talking about.)  Instead of betting the money on a horse, Howard instead buys a horse and enters it into a race.  As he explains it, the staff stands to make a lot of money if the horse wins the race and is then bought by a farm.  Or, Howard explains, they could just put the horse out to stud.

“He’s a gelding,” Edna says.

“A horse that sings soprano,” Marlene explains.

Unfortunately, the jockey that Howard has hired leaves the country at the last minute.  (When he’s not working as a jockey, he sells sweaters and he learns that there’s a huge cardigan sale in Mexico.  And I will admit that made me laugh.)  Howard trains Murray to be a jockey by having Murray ride the store’s electric horse.  Murray falls off.  (That also made me laugh.)  It then turns out that Murray is allergic to horses so Howard puts on the jockey uniform and Christian asks him if he “lost his lawn.”  (Again, that made me laugh.)

Howard comes in second in the race but he reveals that he put money on the horse that came in first so the staff at least gets their cash back.  But then it turns out that the horse that won has been disqualified and the staff’s horse did win!  The staff makes a lot of money and Howard is out the cash he bet on the other horse.

(Gambling is confusing, which is one reason why I don’t do it.  I’ll blow on the dice at the craps table but I’m not going to play with my own money.)

This episode …. actually, I have to be honest.  This episode actually made me laugh quite a bit.  It was just so silly and cheerfully dumb that there was no way I couldn’t laugh a little.  Jeff Pustil (as Christian), Simon Reynolds (as Murray), and Kathleen Laskey (as the totally awesome Marlene) all got in their share of one-liners at Howard’s expense and it was fun to listen to them make fun of the boss.  Workplace comedies always work best when the joke is on management.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.26 “The Kiss”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe’s in trouble!

Episode 3.26 “The Kiss”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on April 13th, 1978)

Gabe tells a joke about Uncle Milton the medium.  Uncle Milton talked to a spirt named Max.  In life, Max was a waiter.  “Come closer,” Milton said.  “I can’t,” Max replied, “it’s not my table.”

Gabe’s going to need all the jokes and laughs that he can get because he’s in a lot of trouble.  After asking student Laura Stevens (Sally Hightower) to see him after class, Gabe is shocked when she suddenly faints.  Gabe just wanted to talk to Laura about her habit of putting on her makeup while he’s trying to teach but instead, he finds himself performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  Of course, just as he’s doing this, Woodman walks into the room.

Mr. Woodman is scandalized.  Judy Borden (Helaine Lembeck, making one of her infrequent appearances in the third season) is scandalized to the extent that she declares she wants to transfer to an all-girl’s school.  The school board and Principal Lazarus are planning to hold a meeting to discuss what to do with Gabe.  Julie tells Gabe that she believes him when he says that he wasn’t actually kissing Laura but then she adds, “How pretty was this girl?”  Julie then complains that homely girls never faint….

Well, you would know, wouldn’t you, Julie?

Sorry, that was mean.  I fainted more than a few times in high school so this is an episode that I took slightly personally.  Listen, being beautiful in high school is a lot of pressure.  People have no idea.

The Sweathogs are on Gabe’s side and they even stop by the Kotter apartment to let Gabe know that Laura’s brother, Baby, is angry with him.  Gabe laughs.  How much of a threat can a baby be?

Then, Baby shows up.

Baby really doesn’t look that tough to me but everyone else is scared to death of him.  Gabe is scared until he find out that Baby is only responding to rumors.  He hasn’t even asked Laura what actually happened.  Gabe sends Baby off to talk to his sister.

The Sweathogs also talk to Laura.  Laura doesn’t really remember what happened.  The Sweathogs note that Laura is on an all-bean sprout diet.  That’s why she fainted!  Laura then goes to the principal’s office, where Kotter is currently being grilled by an investigator from the school board.  While waiting in the lobby of the office, she faints once again!  This time, it’s Woodman who gives her mouth-to-mouth.  In all probability, Laura has got a serious eating disorder that could very well prove fatal but, since this is Welcome Back, Kotter, the only thing that’s important is that Gabe is exonerated.  Laura is told to head down to the cafeteria and eat a lot.  A grateful Laura says that she will as she leaves the office.

Happy to in the clear, Gabe tells the school board guy a joke about a Chinese waiter who spoke perfect Italian because he thought he was leaning English.

This episode is a good example of the type of story that Welcome Back, Kotter would have handled with a lot of skill back in the first season.  Unfortunately, by the time the third season rolled around, the show had gotten way too cartoonish to effectively deal with real-life issues, like teachers kissing students.  As well, the Sweathogs — with the exception of John Travolta, who was in his early 20s — all very much look like adult, 30-something men now.  Time to get out of high school!

Next week, the third season comes to a close.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.9 “13 O’Clock”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, time stops.

Episode 2.9 “13 O’Clock”

(Dir by Rob Hedden, originally aired on January 2nd, 1989)

Wealthy but dorky Henry Wilkerson (Ron Hartmann) owns a watch that he inherited from his father.  The watch can stop time at exactly one a.m., giving the owner the chance to do whatever he or she wants for an hour while the world is frozen.  The only catch is that someone has to be murdered before the watch will do its thing.  Henry, like his father before him, has killed a lot of people and stolen a lot of money while the world was frozen.  But then Henry is murdered by his wife, Reatha (Gwynyth Walsh), who wants the watch for herself and her adulterous, criminal lover, Eric (David Proval, who later played Richie Aprile on The Sopranos).

When Jack reads a series of newspaper articles about a bunch of murders and thefts that all seem to take place near the subway station at one in the morning, he figures out that someone is using a cursed watch.  (Actually, it’s kind of strange just how quickly Jack manages to figure that out.  Jack, is there something you need to share with everyone?)  Micki and Ryan investigate the area around the station and they meet two homeless teenagers, Skye and Johnny-O  (played by Ingrid Veninger and Jason Hopley).  Skye witnessed Reatha killing Henry and she is about to become Reatha’s next target.

This was one of the better episodes of Friday the 13th.  The scenes where time froze were remarkably well-done, with the world not only stopping but also transforming into black-and-white.  Only Reatha and anyone who is with her can move and they are also the only things not stripped of color in the frozen world.  The sight of Reatha, Eric, and eventually Ryan walking through the frozen and eerily silent subway station is a surprisingly powerful one.  This is an episode that really does seem to capture what it would be like to actually live in a world where magic collides with everyday, mundane reality.  The special effects earned this show an Emmy nomination and it was certainly deserved.  They’re still effective, even when viewed today by eyes that have been jaded by too much CGI.

Reatha, Eric, and Henry make for a memorable trio of villains and Gwynyth Walsh especially deserves some credit for fearlessly embracing the melodrama in her performance as Reatha.  If you ever wondered what would happen if a femme fatale from a classic noir made a deal with Satan, Reatha is your answer.  I will admit that I cringed a little when the homeless teens showed up but Ingrid Veninger and Jason Hopley were well-cast and they turned their stereotypical characters into sympathetic human beings.

I wish this episode had been a bit clearer on how the stopwatch works.  At the end of the episode, Reatha and Eric appear to be permanently frozen in time but they’re frozen in a very public place and you really do have to wonder what’s going to happen when people notice two monochrome people standing frozen on the train tracks.

But that’s a minor quibble.  Overall, this was a superior episode of Friday the 13th.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.14 “Mr. Big”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Fritz and Nobby return and Terri actually gets to do lawyer stuff for once.

Episode 3.14 “Mr. Big”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 7th, 1990)

Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) are back!

Fritz and Nobby were two incompetent crooks who appeared in a handful of episodes of T and T.  When they first appeared, they were murderers who tried to kill T.S.  But, T and T being the type of show that it was, they soon become lovable bumblers who constantly needed Turner to save them when their plans went awry.  In this episode, Fritz and Nobby hire Terri to defend them when they’re accused of running the biggest theft ring in Canada.  Terri’s defense is that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to be masterminds and she calls T.S. to the stand to testify to just how dumb the two criminals are.  In the end, the real Mr. Big is exposed and the judge agrees that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to go to prison.  Unfortunately, the stupidity defense rarely works in real life so don’t try it the next time your in court.  Then again, if you’re taking legal advice from T and T or from someone who is reviewing T and T, there’s probably no hope to begin with.

(Then again, it’s totally possible that the defense might work in Canada.  Canadian judges are probably nicer than American judges.)

Turner being called to the stand does lead to quite a few flashbacks, though not enough to make this an official clip show.  Interestingly, a lot of the flashbacks are taken from the episode that aired right before this one.  So, in case you forgot what happened last week, this episode is here to remind you of the time that T.S. Turner faked his own death in order to outwit a superstitious gypsy.  What?  Seriously, I’m still trying to figure that episode out.

Usually, Fritz and Nobby kind of annoy me but they actually made me smile in this episode.  They may be criminals but they’re also friends and there’s something sweet about Fritz not wanting Nobby to killed in prison.  As well, this episode actually allows Terri to enter a courtroom and show off her legal skills.  There’s nothing all that believable about T and T’s courtroom scenes but at least this episode exists to remind us that Terri does more than just hang out in Decker’s gym.

As with most of season 3’s episodes, Mr. T seems to be bored with the whole thing but Dominic Cuzzocrea and Avery Saltman make for a likable comedy team.  By T and T standards — and especially by season 3 standards — this was an enjoyable episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.16 “Keep Smiling”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week’s episode made me cry.

Episode 2.16 “Keep Smiling”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 5th, 1986)

One night, seven year-old me asked my mom, “After someone dies, will they be able to come back to visit us?”

My mom told me that they would but that we wouldn’t be able to see them.  But we would know that they were there.  We would feel it in our hearts.  And maybe we would see them in our dreams.

I relate this anecdote because I think it’s important to understand my current state of mind as I watch and review this show.  My mom passed away nearly 16 years ago.  My Dad passed away nearly a month ago.  I’m still very much in mourning right now.  My logical side can look at an episode of Highway to Heaven and say that it was an extremely sentimental and, at times, rather manipulative show.  But my emotional side,  the side that leads with my heart and that hopes to see my mom and dad every night in my dreams, that side watches this show in tears.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes, it’s important to cry.  For someone like me, who tends to put up walls whenever I’m upset, watching a show like this can actually be very helpful.

This week’s episode features Jonathan and Mark helping out Jane Thompson (Dorothy McGuire), a lonely widow who has never really gotten over the death of her husband, Arthur.  Arthur died of lung cancer nearly forty years ago.  Now, Jane lives alon in their house.  It’s been a while since even her daughter has come to visit.  Jonathan and Mark stop by the house, looking to rent out Jane’s spare room.  Jane says she would prefer a woman to be her roommate.  Jonathan says he understands and then tells her, “Keep smiling.”  Hearing the phrase causes Jane to change her mind about renting the room to Jonathan and Mark.  “Keep smiling,” was something that Arthur always used to say.

That’s because, before he became an angel, Jonathan was Arthur Thompson!  (Jonathan explains to Mark that angels come back in a “different form” than how they appeared when they died.)  While Jonathan tries to cheer up the depressed Jane and get her to embrace life, Mark tries to convince Jane’s daughter to pay her a visit.  When Mark doesn’t have any luck, Jonathan throws on a white jacket and a pair of ray-bans and, pretending to be a gigolo, he tells his daughter that he’s going to marry Jane for her money.  That may sound a little extreme but hey, it works!

This episode made me cry.  What can I say?  Right now, emotionally, I’m just at a point where anything that is sentimental and well-acted will bring tears to my eyes.  This show may be a tad manipulative but, at its best, there’s an aching sincerity to this show that simply cannot be dismissed.  Sometimes, that type of sincerity is exactly what is needed.