Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.18 “Rally ‘Round The Bank”

Posted on October 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch’s mom comes to visit! Will she get on a motorcycle? Uhmm …. no. She doesn’t. It probably would have been cool if she had. She could have helped chase down this week’s set of bad guys. This seems like a missed opportunity. It’s still a good episode, though.

Episode 2.18 “Rally ‘Round The Bank”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired February 3rd, 1979)

Ponch is nervous because his mom, who is deathly afraid of flying, has boarded an airplane and flown from Chicago to Los Angeles to visit him. (In this episode, we discover that Ponch’s family apparently got rich and moved to Chicago sometime between the end of the first and the start of the second season.) Why is Ponch’s mother visiting? Ponch isn’t sure. He spends a lot of time worrying but, in the end, it turns out that his mother (well-played by Anna Navarro, no relation to that annoying woman on The View) came to town because Baker and Getraer called to tell her that Ponch would be receiving a special safety citation from Getraer.

Awwwww!

Apparently, Ponch has gone a whole year without crashing his motorcycle. I’m pretty sure I saw Ponch crash his motorcycle just a few episodes ago but whatever. The important thing is that this is actually a good Ponch episode. For once, Erik Estrada’s tendency to overact is not a distraction and his relationship with his mom is actually really sweet. When I watched this episode, my first thought was that Navarro looked way too young to be Estrada’s mother. If anything, she actually looked like she might be a few years younger than him. Then I checked with imdb and discovered that Navarro actually was sixteen years older than Estrada.

(I will admit that Anna Navarro — again, the actress and not that annoying woman who hosted a day of the Democratic National Convention — reminded me a lot of my own mom, which is maybe one reason why I liked this episode more than I thought I would.)

Ponch and Baker also find time to chase after two bank robbers, played by Frank Ashmore and Ron Hajak. Because the robbers are a part of a nation-wide rally race that is passing through Los Angeles, Ponch and Baker get to know some of the other racers. Two women invite Ponch and Baker to a square dance. Baker has to decline so Ponch brings Getraer instead. Getraer turns out to be a surprisingly good dancer. Ponch’s mom comes to the square dance as well and, for a few minutes, I thought maybe she and Getraer were going to announce to the world that they were in love. That would have been a great CHiPs moment but it didn’t happen. That’s another missed opportunity.

Missed opportunities aside, this was a good episode. It was fun and it was sweet and it made me smile.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.5 “The Good Collar”

Posted on October 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, even more innocent lives are destroyed by an unwinnable war on drugs.

Episode 3.5 “The Good Collar”

(Dir by Mario DiLeo, originally aired on October 24th, 1986)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice tells the story of several wars playing out on the streets of Miami.

One of the wars is the skirmish between two street gangs, made up exclusively of teenagers. Led by Count Walker (Samuel Graham), the Regular Fellas are pushing drugs and even forcing a promising football star named Archie Ellis (Keith Diamond) to deliver a package of black tar heroin for them. The Regular Fellas are at war with The Apostles. Among the members of the Apostles is Ramirez (Jsu Garcia), an undercover cop who is actually 23 but who is pretending to be seventeen.

When Crockett and Tubbs bust Archie, all three of them find themselves dragged into the National War On Drugs. Assistant State Attorney William Pepin (Terry Kinney) wants to take Count Walker down, if just so he can claim a rare victory. When Archie helps Crockett and Tubbs make a bust and also saves them from getting shot in a back alley, Pepin agrees to drop all the charges against Archie. But after Ramirez is blown up by the Regular Fellas, Pepin decides that he’s going to go ahead and charge Archie unless Archie wears a wire and gets Count Walker to confess to his crimes.

Crockett, the former football star, is outraged by Pepin’s decision to put Archie in danger. Crockett even offers to doctor the records so that Archie’s arrest will be dismissed by the courts. However, Archie refuses. Archie says that he’s responsible for his own mistakes and he’ll deal with the consequences. Unfortunately, in this case, the consequences involve Archie being shot and killed by Count Walker, though not before getting Walker to confess on tape. Walker is arrested and his gang is destroyed but at the cost of Archie’s life. Pepin is happy. Ramierz’s supervisor, Lt. Lee Atkins (John Spencer), is happy. But social worker Ed McCain (Charles S. Dutton) blames Crockett for Archie’s death. And Archie’s grandmother slams the door in Crockett’s face when he attempts to come by to pay his final respects.

What a dark episode! However, it does get to the truth of the matter. There was no way to win the War on Drugs. Even the victories in this episode feel hollow. Regular viewers of Miami Vice would have understood that someone else would eventually step into the vacuum left by Walker’s arrest. Meanwhile, Archie — a good kid with the athletic talent necessary to win a college scholarship and have a chance to escape from the poverty that he grew up in — is shot and killed because a state’s attorney needed to notch up at least one victory. Miami Vice was at its best when it was cynical and it doesn’t get much more cynical than this heartbreaking episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.14 “Black & White”

Posted on October 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

With the school year coming to an end, prejudice raises its ugly head.

Episode 3.14 “Black & White”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on March 5th, 1989)

The school year is nearly over. While Bart and Scooter take pictures for the yearbook, the other students prepare for the big graduation dance. BLT asks Michelle to be his date to the dance and Michelle says yes. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised that BLT and Michelle weren’t already dating at the start of this episode. Nearly every time that we’ve seen Michelle over the course of the third season, BLT has been right there with her.

Alexa says that it’s great the Michelle is going to the dance with BLT because BLT is a great dancer. “That goes without saying,” Alexa says. After an appropriately awkward silence, Alexa adds, “Because he’s black.” Okay, Alexa, thanks for sharing…. Alexa goes on to say that her parents would never allow her to date a black person because they hate anyone who isn’t Greek. That must make their lives in Toronto very interesting….

Unfortunately, it turns out that Alexa isn’t the only student with prejudiced parents. Michelle’s mother takes one look at BLT and suddenly decides that Michelle is too young to start dating. After Michelle tells BLT the news, BLT suggests that Michelle’s mom doesn’t want her to date him because he’s black. When Michelle finally works up the courage to ask her mom if BLT is correct, her mom replies that she’s not racist at all. Instead, she’s so progressive that she understands how racist everyone else is and therefore, she has a unique understanding of how difficult it would be if Michelle ended up marrying someone who wasn’t white….

AGCK! It’s like a Canadian version of the “I would have voted for Obama a third time,” line from Get Out.

Finally, Michelle works up the courage to go with BLT to the dance anyway, regardless of what her parents may think.

Meanwhile, Spike tries to get a part-time job at a deli. The owner takes one look at her hair and then claims that Spike was late to the job interview and is therefore unhirable. “That’s prejudice,” Liz says as they walk away from the deli. And it is but it’s really not the equivalent of what BLT is dealing with. Sorry, Degrassi.

For the most part, this was an effective episode. It starts out with a jarring scene in which another students bumps into BLT and uses the “n-word.” BLT and the racist student get into a fist fight, which is broken up by an assistant principal. BLT is told that he’ll be suspended if there’s another fight but, as he explains to Snake and Wheels, there’s no way he’s going to back down if he sees the student again.

“Can’t you just ignore it?” Snake asks.

“You’re not the one being called a….” BLT says, uttering the slur.

It’s an honest scene and not one that most teen shows would have the guts to include. Hearing the word used so casually in 2024 is jarring. For American audiences, it’s sometimes good to be reminded that racism is not something that is unique to only one region of our country. It’s a worldwide thing and often those who are the quickest to brag about their tolerance are actually the most prejudiced people around.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.17 “Chain Reaction”

Posted on October 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, a wave of bad luck crashes into the store.

Episode 2.17 “Chain Reaction”

(Dir by Stan Jacobson, originally aired on February 15, 1987)

This is a bit of an odd episode.

For one thing, neither Jeff Pustil nor Gordon Clapp appear in this episode. As Pustil and Clapp were two of the more consistently funny performers on this show, their absence is definitely felt.

Since Pustil’s assistant manager character is said to be on vacation, Murray is temporarily promoted to assistant manager and spends this episode wearing a suit and making smarmy comments that are totally out-of-character for him.

There’s a new cashier named Amy (Kathryn Rose). We’ve never seen her before but everyone on the show acts as if she’s always been there.

This episode features everyone at a store getting a chain letter, which was an annoying thing where someone would send you a letter and tell you to send a copy of the letter to ten other people for good luck. (It’s the sort of thing that was apparently popular in the years before email.) Everyone at the store takes their chain letter seriously, except for Howard. Howard sets his chain letter on fire.

Immediately after Howard destroys the letter, ominous thunder rumbles. A fire breaks out in Howard’s office and Howard uses Edna’s sweater to put it out. A terrible smell spreads through the store, chasing away the customers and forcing the health department to order the place closed until it’s gone away. An old woman gets food poisoning from can of Pears and sues the store. Finally, Marlene tells Howard that this is all his fault, Howard insults Marlene’s hair, and Marlene quits.

Marlene is later in an accident and taken to the hospital. Howard and the gang (including the mysterious Amy) rush over to the hospital to check on Marlene. Howard goes in Marlene’s hospital room and finds a patient covered in bandages. Assuming the patient is Marlene, Howard calls her the daughter he never had and promises to rehire her and give her a raise. Surprise! The patient wasn’t Marlene but Marlene was standing behind Howard and listening the whole time.

It’s sweet but it’s also a reminder that Check It Out rarely made much effort to maintain a consistent continuity. Just a few episodes ago, Howard went undercover to save Marlene from a cult. In this episode, they act as if they’ve never had a good relationship.

This episode just feels off, to the extent that I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had ended with Howard waking up and realizing it was all a dream. The absence of Pustil and Clapp is strongly felt and the remaining characters don’t seem to be acting like themselves.

On the plus side, this episode features Marlene’s best hair yet.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.5 “The Sweatmobile”

Posted on October 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs share a story about the time that they all tried to buy a car together.

Episode 4.5 “The Sweatmobile”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 9th, 1978)

Barbarino, Washington, Epstein, and Horshack sit outside of the classroom and look at the lunches that their mothers prepared for them. Epstein has a liver burrito. Barbarino has corn flakes and he’s happy about that because his mother is saint. Horshack has peanut butter and prunes and he’s not happy about that because he hates peanut butter.

(For those trying to keep track of the fourth season’s already confusing continuity, this episode features Barbarino as a student at the school, even though the previous two episodes insinuated that he was no longer attending classes. Even though Babarino now lives in an apartment by himself, his mother apparently still makes his lunch. As for the new Sweathog, Beau is neither mentioned nor seen in this episode, which leads me to suspect that this episode was originally meant to air even earlier in the season than it did.)

Carvelli and Murray walk up to the Sweathogs and Carvelli taunts them by revealing that he was able to drive to a fast food restaurant for his lunch. Seeing how desperate the Sweathogs are for real food, Carvelli offers to sell them his used car so that they too can actually get hamburgers. However, the Sweathogs tell him that they learned their lesson the last time they tried to buy a used car.

Flashback time!

The Sweathogs all pooled their money so that they could buy a used car from Vinnie’s uncle. Vinnie insisted that he would be the one who would drive the car, as he had the most experience in cars. Everyone warned the Sweathogs about the difficulty of multiple people owning and using one car. But the Sweathogs were determined to do it. They arranged to meet with Vinnie’s uncle at the hospital where Vinnie works as an orderly. However, once they arrived at the hospital, they watched as Vinnie’s uncle was wheeled in on a gurney after having wrecked the car that he was going to sell. Vinnie’s aunt mentioned that his uncle couldn’t wait to cheat whoever was dumb enough to buy a used car from him.

This was an odd episode. It was nice to see the original Sweathogs together again but the whole flashback structure felt strange. Usually, a flashback means that the audience is about to see something that happened long ago. But, in this episode, it appears that we’re watching a flashback to something that happened maybe a day or two ago. In the flashback, Barbarino is working at the hospital, Gabe is vice principal (and away at a teacher’s conference due to the fact that Gabe Kaplan was sick of doing the show), and Julie was already Woodman’s administrative assistant. As well, Julie has her terrible new haircut in the flashbacks. This is all stuff that didn’t happen until the start of the fourth season. Again, it’s hard not to feel that this was an episode that was meant to air much earlier in this season but, for some reason, it was held back and a flashback framing device was awkwardly added.

Fortunately, the original Sweathogs, despite being clearly too old to be even remedial high school students, still have the chemistry that made this show a hit during its first season. Given everything that I’ve read about just how difficult things got behind-the-scenes on this show, it was nice to see them having fun and obviously enjoying themselves. Though the episode’s structure was weird, this episode still presents viewers with one last chance to see the chemistry and comradery that made Welcome Back, Kotter a hit in the first place.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Micki’s in even more danger than usual as a desperate doctor uses a magic syringe to try to find a cure for his daughter. This is also our final episode of Friday the 13th for October. Can you believe Halloween is right around the corner?

Episode 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

John Cusack plays Lane Meyer, an artistic high school student who is stunned with he is dumped by….

Oh wait, sorry. Wrong Better Off Dead.

This Better Off Dead tells the story of Dr. Warren Voss (Neil Munro), who lives in an isolated mansion with his pre-adolescent daughter, Amanda (Tara Meyer). Amanda has a disease that makes her violent and dangerous. She attacks almost anyone who comes near her, including her own father. Dr. Voss believes that he has finally found a cure for her condition and, if he’s right, he’s convinced that he can cure all violent behavior.

Unfortunately, the cure is a bit extreme. Dr. Voss starts out by bringing prostitutes to his mansion and then using a silver syringe to extract their brain fluid, which he then injects into his daughter. This temporarily calms down his daughter but it turns Voss’s unwilling donors into violent maniacs. Voss claims that he’s doing all of this for the greater good and he’s only using donors who would be better off dead. But, as the episode unfolds, it becomes clear that Voss’s good intentions can’t hide his own sadistic streak.

The syringe once belonged to Jack the Ripper and, as you definitely already guessed, it’s a cursed object. After a friend of Micki’s becomes one of Voss’s victims, Micki is herself kidnapped and becomes Voss’s latest donor. When Jack and Ryan show up to save the day, they not only have to battle Voss. They also find themselves attacked by Micki. And Micki, due to the experiments and perhaps also due to the resentment that anyone would feel over having to put their lives on hold to search for cursed antiques, proves to be a fierce opponent.

Fear not, of course. Things are resolved. Micki is saved and, at the end of the episode, she is slowly recovering from her trauma. Voss is attacked and killed by his own daughter. Ryan wonders about whether or not Voss could have eliminated violent behavior if he had been allowed to continue his experiments. Jack says that it’s not worth wondering about. I agree. Leave Micki alone! Better the whole world suffer than one redhead be inconvenienced, say this proud redhead.

Director by Armand Mastroianni, this was a really good episode. Both Neil Munro and Tara Meyer gave good performances as the doctor and his daughter and Robey, who has often felt underused on this show so far, got a chance to show off her own dramatic abilities. As for the question at the heart of the episode, I agree with Jack. The cost outweighs the benefits. Friday the 13th deserves a lot credit, though, for seriously considering the issue. This was an episode that was both creepy and intelligent.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape. Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.” Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback. “A come back from what?” Turner growls. Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan. He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero. However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil. Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales. Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle. (So how did he get so fat?) Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind. Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material. “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not. It all works out. Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll. Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback. He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit. Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!” Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer. Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy? I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar. People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous. The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not. Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T! How will the saga end?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.22 “Sail Away”

Posted on October 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan helps a novelist get in touch with his long-passed muse. He also helps him repair his relationship with his grandson before it’s time to move on.

Episode 2.22 “Sail Away”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 2nd, 1986)

Two novelists travel to a remote island.

Frank Worton (Lew Ayres) grew up on the island and was inspired to write a series of paperback romances based on his love for a girl named Jenna. Sadly, Jenna died when Frank was a teenager and his books were his way of trying to get continue their relationship, if just in his imagination.

Todd Worton (David Einser) is Frank’s grandson. Todd writes 3,000 words a day and is very strict about his routine. He’s never written anything as successful as his grandfather’s pulpy romances and he feels that his grandfather has never respected his work. What Todd doesn’t realize is that Frank feels the same way about him.

When they travel to the Island, Frank starts to act strangely. He moves into the abandoned house where Jenna lived and claims that it still looks the same as it did when he was a young man. At one point, he thinks that he sees Jenna walking along the beach. Is he going senile or is he being haunted by a ghost?

Or is he being prepared for death? Jonathan and Mark are running a ferry service, taking people to and from the Island. (I can understand Jonathan knowing how to do all of this, as he’s an angel. But how does Mark casually go from job to job? That man’s resume must be a mess at this point.) Just as he did with Eli Wallach a few episodes ago, Jonathan is preparing Frank to move on. By the end of the episode, Frank is boarding a sailboat and heading off with his beloved Jenna. But not before Todd reads the last novel that Frank wrote about Jenna and Frank reads the novel that Todd wrote about him. The two finally make peace and Jonathan, in voice-over, tells us that both books became best sellers.

Awwww! What a sweet episode. This episode is largely a showcase for Lew Ayres and he definitely delivers, giving a heartfelt performance as a man haunted by his past. If you don’t cry when he gets on that boat, you don’t have a heart and you might want to get that checked out. You need a heart to live or so they tell me.

In the end, this is an episode that will make you want to sail away. And while Highway to Heaven has never exactly been known as a subtle show (and I imagine that was by design), I am somewhat impressed at the restraint it must have taken to not include Styx’s Come Sail Away on the soundtrack.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.15 “Love on the ‘Net”

Posted on October 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a guest star from Hang Time comes to Malibu, CA!

Episode 1.15 “Love on the ‘Net”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 31st, 1999)

Scott is meeting women though a new and weird method that is called the — let me see, I wrote down the term just so I would get it right — the Internet. Jason, who hasn’t had any luck getting a date since he broke up with Stads, says that only “geeks and weirdos” spend any time on this Internet thing. He thinks his brother is crazy for making a date with a girl who met online. But when Jason sees the picture that Jocelyn sends Scott, he changes his mind.

Being a sociopath, Jason switches out the photo of Jocelyn with a picture of a female body builder. He tells Scott that he should stand Jocelyn up and Scott agrees. Jason then meets Jocelyn (played by Daniella Deutscher, who previously played Julie Connor on Hang Time) and claims that he’s Scott.

Seriously, Jason is the absolute worst. Scott, to his credit, at least feels bad about standing up Jocelyn. He’s still a jerk but at least Scott is capable of feeling guilt. Jason, on the other hand….

Eventually, Scott discovers what Jason is doing. Scott pretends to be Jason and tells Jocelyn that his brother loves doing extreme things …. like skydiving! Soon, all three of them are in an airplane. When a terrified Jason admits that he’s not actually Scott and then a cocky Scott explains that he’s not actually Jason, Jocelyn says that she would rather jump out of a plane than be with either of them. And then she does just that. Hopefully, she remembered to put on her parachute.

Jason and Scott apologize to each other for being jerks. Then, they fall out of the plane because this is a Peter Engel sitcom and you can bet that, in the Engelverse, there’s no way anyone’s going to go up on a plane without falling out of it. Unfortunately, both Jason and Scott remembered their parachutes.

While this is going on, Tracy gets a role on Baywatch and follows around Stads in order to learn how to be a lifeguard. Stads gets annoyed when Tacy gets credit for saving a hot wealthy guy who invites Tracy to his yacht. Stads says that Tracy is a bad actress and a bad lifeguard. “And you’re a bad friend!” Tracy replies.

YOU TELL HER, TRACY! Seriously, Stads was really annoying in this episode.

This episode was dumb but it does have value as a time capsule from the age when the Internet was still viewed as being something exotic and new. Any 90s kid will smile at the sight of Scott’s bulky computer. As for this episode’s guest star, Daniella Deutscher is far more likable here than she ever was on Hang Time. She told both Jason and Scott to go to Hell so that makes her a winner in my book!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.19 “Far Below”

Posted on October 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, there’s something in subways!

Episode 2.19 “Far Below”

(Dir by Debra Hill, originally aired on February 25th, 1990)

Alex Kritz (John Scott Clough) is a city bureaucrat who has been sent to do an audit and discover why one subway maintenance crew is getting paid so much despite the high rate of turnover on the crew. The head of the crew, Dr. Vernon Rathmore (Barry Nelson), not only overpays his workers but he also offers them full insurance and a pension. Kritz not only wants to understand why Dr. Rathmore is spending so much money but also how he has been able to get away with it for so long.

Dr. Rathmore invites Kritz to watch a monitor so he can observe two of his workers gunning down what appears to be a Yeti with glowing white fur. Kritz is outraged, accusing Rathmore of killing a homeless man. Rathmore explains that his section of the subway is full of prehistoric, ape-liked monsters who feast on human flesh. Rathmore has taken it upon himself to keep the population under control.

When Kritz again accuses Rathmore of genocide, Rathmore reveals that he actually has two of the monsters locked away in the office. And one of them is his wife! It turns out that she has quite the appetite for nosey bureaucrats….

This was a simple but entertaining episode of Monsters, one that was well-acted by Nelson and Clough and which made great use of two sets, Rathmore’s office and the atmospheric and dark subway tunnels where Rathmore’s men work. The escalating tension between Rathmore and Kritz was well-handled, with Rathmore growing more and more annoyed with Kritz’s questions. Based on all of the urban legends that have sprung up over the years about monsters living in the subways and the sewers (check out Raw Meat for another example), this was an effective episode that managed to tell a complete and interesting story in only 20 minutes. Monsters was a frequently uneven show, as is true of most anthology series. Fortunately, for every couple of bad episodes that the viewer got, the viewer would also occasionally get a masterpiece like Far Below.

Far Below was directed by Debra Hill, who is probably best-known for co-producing several of John Carpenter’s early films, including the original Halloween. This episode was Hill’s directorial debut and it was one of only two things she directed. (The other was an episode of a 90s sitcom called Dream On.) She did an excellent job with this episode and it’s a shame that she didn’t direct more.

Finally, this was the final performance of actor Barry Nelson. Nelson was the first actor to ever play James Bond, playing an Americanized version of the character in a 1950s television adaptation of Casino Royale. (Nelson technically played “Jimmy Bond.”) Modern horror fans know Nelson best for his wonderful performance as the blandly professional Mr. Ullman in The Shining. The scene where Nelson (as Ullman) cheerfully talks about what happened to the last caretaker and his family is one of my favorite bits of acting of all time. Nelson retired after this episode of Monsters and it’s nice to able to say that he went out on a high note.