On The Line – Through the Shattered Lens

As far back as I can remember I’ve been a fan of Mel Gibson. I also truly believe that the LETHAL WEAPON series is one of the greatest action franchises of all time. Of course, part of that could be because it meant so much to me when I was growing up. I remember renting the original action classic with my family when we were on a spring break vacation at a resort in Hot Springs. I was 16 when part 2 became a huge hit in the late summer of 1989, and one of my first real dates was to see the film at the theater. Part 3 didn’t have as lasting an impact, but part 4 introduced me to the action legend Jet Li. Needless to say, if the long-rumored part 5 ever materializes, I’ll be there.

So, when I recently came across the thriller ON THE LINE (2022) on Netflix, I was happy to see Gibson back in a leading man role that appears to give him a chance to have some real fun. Here, he plays Elvis Cooney, a controversial late-night radio host whose show takes a serious turn when a distraught caller threatens to murder his family if he doesn’t play a dangerous game with him. What begins as any other night at the station turns deadly, with Elvis trying to figure out who he’s dealing with and just how far he’s willing to go.

One of the things I’ve always liked about Gibson is his ability to play characters who can be funny, obnoxious, and downright nuts, sometimes all at the same time. He brings plenty of that crazy personality to Elvis, who often comes off as a complete A-hole. But Gibson has a way of making even a real jerk entertaining to watch, and I enjoyed seeing him carry this film. I’ll just say this right now, if you don’t like Gibson, this is probably not the movie for you. He’s the primary reason to watch. I know Gibson has had some very public controversies over the years, and I certainly don’t condone some of his actions. But that doesn’t change the fact that this guy, his performances, and his movies were a staple of those early years when I was falling in love with cinema.

ON THE LINE reminded me a little of THE GAME (1997), the David Fincher thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. Both films use the lead character’s birthday to set into motion an elaborate deception. I don’t want to give away this film’s surprises, and I’m certainly not suggesting that it’s nearly as accomplished as THE GAME, but I found it interesting that the two movies brought those same thoughts to my mind.

Is ON THE LINE a great movie? I wouldn’t go that far, and I’m sure there are plenty of folks who may feel cheated by the twisty ending(s). While I understand all of that, I’m the kind of viewer who doesn’t need every movie I watch to be a masterpiece. First and foremost, I’m a fan of actors, and I enjoy having a chance to see Mel Gibson being the true lead in a film that allows him to shine. That goes a long way with me.

Last night, as I watched Dead 7, I could not help but think about the 2001 film, On The Line. Don’t get me wrong, On The Line does not feature any zombies and there’s next to no violence. However, much like Dead 7, it does feature quite a few boy banders. In fact, with the exception of JC Chasez, every member of *NSYNC makes an appearance in On The Line. Lance Bass stars in the movie. Joey Fatone plays his best friend. Finally, at the end of the film, in a scene that is so homophobic that it practically screams 2001, Justin Timberlake and Chris Kirkpatrick show up as a flamboyant makeup artist and an even more flamboyant hairstylist.

Lance plays Kevin, a shy and somewhat nerdy advertising exec who lives in Chicago. Kevin falls in love easily but he’s always been too shy to have a serious relationship. One day, Kevin is returning home from work on the train when he starts talking to Abbey (Emanuelle Chriqui). It turns out that they both love the Chicago Cubs and Al Green! (Oh my God! Who would have guessed that two people living in Chicago would both love the local sports team!?) It also turns out that both Kevin and Abbey can name all the Presidents in order! Obviously, they are meant to be! The universe arranged for them to both be on the train at the same time so that they can get married, have children, and discuss the presidency of Rutherford Hayes while watching the Cubs and listening to Al Green.

Unfortunately, despite being a single guy who has just totally hit it off with a single girl who is obviously attracted to him, Kevin forgets to get her phone number. The movie explains this by saying that Kevin is shy but if he’s so shy that he can’t even give out his phone number then how did he ever find the courage to tell Abbey that he loves Al Green in the first place?

(Actually, Abbey isn’t really single but her fiancée is such a jerk that she might as well be. Anyone who has ever seen a movie knows that Abbey is not meant to marry a guy who spends all of his time on the phone, yelling, “Sell! Sell!”)

Of course, if Kevin had gotten her phone number, there wouldn’t have been a movie. So, instead, he recruits his loser friends (including Joey Fatone) to help him track down Abbey. He puts up flyers all over Chicago. A story about him appears in the newspaper. Soon, the entire city is obsessed with whether or not Kevin will find this girl that he talked to for ten minutes. However, Abbey apparently never watches TV or reads the newspaper because somehow, she doesn’t know all of this is going on…

There’s an interesting subtext to On The Line. Lance Bass himself produced the film. Five years after On The Line flopped at the box office, Lance officially came out as gay (and, it must be said, that whenever Kevin talks to Abbey, he comes across less like a future lover and more like every girl’s ideal gay best friend). Lance has said that he was still deeply closeted when he made On The Line and there are times when the film seems to be almost desperate to convince us of Kevin’s (and, by association, Lance’s) heterosexuality. In this context, that end credits scene with Chris and Justin, limp-wristed and speaking in exaggerated falsetto, is even ickier. “Gay?” the film says to be saying, “If there was a gay person in On The Line, would Justin Timberlake be playing a makeup artist? Would Chris Kirkpatrick be willing to appear as a hairdresser named Angelo?”

On The Line is not a particularly good film and yet, oddly, it’s one that I always find myself watching whenever I come across it on cable. Lance may be miscast and he’s obviously uncomfortable in the majority of his scenes but he’s also likable. You never believe for a second that Kevin and Abbey will last as a couple but Lance seems like a nice guy and Emmanuelle Chriqui is so pretty that you’re happy that they at least got to go on a date or two before breaking up and never seeing each other again. They’re both pretty and it’s fun to watch pretty people talk to each other, even if they do lack a certain romantic chemistry. As well, though his character is pretty obnoxious, Joey Fatone is still always fun to watch.

On The Line is no Dead 7 but it’s still watchable in its own stupid way. I would suggest, however, skipping the end credits