Today’s music video of the day comes from 1985, the year when anyone with big hair could be a rock star.
It starts with two women running down a hallway in Philadelphia. Are they excited to see Cinderella, the generic glam rock band that had a few hits in the 80s just to be washed away, as so many similar bands were, by the arrival of grunge?
No, of course not!
The girls are excited because they’ve heard that Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora are in the building! Bon Jovi and Sambora’s cameos are significant because Jon Bon Jovi was the person who initially discovered Cinderella and convinced PolyGram Records to sign them. So, basically, this is all Bon Jovi’s fault.
To be honest, this video would probably be totally forgotten if not for it’s appearance on an episode of Beavis and Butthead:
Last night, as I watched Dead 7, I could not help but think about the 2001 film, On The Line. Don’t get me wrong, On The Line does not feature any zombies and there’s next to no violence. However, much like Dead 7, it does feature quite a few boy banders. In fact, with the exception of JC Chasez, every member of *NSYNC makes an appearance in On The Line. Lance Bass stars in the movie. Joey Fatone plays his best friend. Finally, at the end of the film, in a scene that is so homophobic that it practically screams 2001, Justin Timberlake and Chris Kirkpatrick show up as a flamboyant makeup artist and an even more flamboyant hairstylist.
Lance plays Kevin, a shy and somewhat nerdy advertising exec who lives in Chicago. Kevin falls in love easily but he’s always been too shy to have a serious relationship. One day, Kevin is returning home from work on the train when he starts talking to Abbey (Emanuelle Chriqui). It turns out that they both love the Chicago Cubs and Al Green! (Oh my God! Who would have guessed that two people living in Chicago would both love the local sports team!?) It also turns out that both Kevin and Abbey can name all the Presidents in order! Obviously, they are meant to be! The universe arranged for them to both be on the train at the same time so that they can get married, have children, and discuss the presidency of Rutherford Hayes while watching the Cubs and listening to Al Green.
Unfortunately, despite being a single guy who has just totally hit it off with a single girl who is obviously attracted to him, Kevin forgets to get her phone number. The movie explains this by saying that Kevin is shy but if he’s so shy that he can’t even give out his phone number then how did he ever find the courage to tell Abbey that he loves Al Green in the first place?
(Actually, Abbey isn’t really single but her fiancée is such a jerk that she might as well be. Anyone who has ever seen a movie knows that Abbey is not meant to marry a guy who spends all of his time on the phone, yelling, “Sell! Sell!”)
Of course, if Kevin had gotten her phone number, there wouldn’t have been a movie. So, instead, he recruits his loser friends (including Joey Fatone) to help him track down Abbey. He puts up flyers all over Chicago. A story about him appears in the newspaper. Soon, the entire city is obsessed with whether or not Kevin will find this girl that he talked to for ten minutes. However, Abbey apparently never watches TV or reads the newspaper because somehow, she doesn’t know all of this is going on…
There’s an interesting subtext to On The Line. Lance Bass himself produced the film. Five years after On The Line flopped at the box office, Lance officially came out as gay (and, it must be said, that whenever Kevin talks to Abbey, he comes across less like a future lover and more like every girl’s ideal gay best friend). Lance has said that he was still deeply closeted when he made On The Line and there are times when the film seems to be almost desperate to convince us of Kevin’s (and, by association, Lance’s) heterosexuality. In this context, that end credits scene with Chris and Justin, limp-wristed and speaking in exaggerated falsetto, is even ickier. “Gay?” the film says to be saying, “If there was a gay person in On The Line, would Justin Timberlake be playing a makeup artist? Would Chris Kirkpatrick be willing to appear as a hairdresser named Angelo?”
On The Line is not a particularly good film and yet, oddly, it’s one that I always find myself watching whenever I come across it on cable. Lance may be miscast and he’s obviously uncomfortable in the majority of his scenes but he’s also likable. You never believe for a second that Kevin and Abbey will last as a couple but Lance seems like a nice guy and Emmanuelle Chriqui is so pretty that you’re happy that they at least got to go on a date or two before breaking up and never seeing each other again. They’re both pretty and it’s fun to watch pretty people talk to each other, even if they do lack a certain romantic chemistry. As well, though his character is pretty obnoxious, Joey Fatone is still always fun to watch.
On The Line is no Dead 7 but it’s still watchable in its own stupid way. I would suggest, however, skipping the end credits
The newest entry in the “Song of the Day” feature takes us back in the glory days of the late 80’s when hard rock made a major come back. It’s only appropriate that I pick one of my favorite hard rock songs of the era: Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive”.
It was to be the third single released off of their monster third full-length album, Slippery When Wet. It would turn out to become their official anthem as millions of fans from several generations since it’s initial release. The Old West-themed song was a collaboration between frontman Jon Bon Jovi and band lead guitarist Richie Sambora. It took the two listening to Bob Seger’s own “on the road” song “Turn the Page” to bring inspiration to the two musicians. What they came up with was their own version of “Turn the Page” and it would become an instant hit and classic.
“Wanted Dead or Alive” would have one of the more recognizable openings with Sambora playing the initials chords on a Spanish guitar before the rest of the band comes in and Jon Bon Jovi starts singing about the hard life of a rock band as it travels from gig to gig. The lyrics to this song shows the less-than-glamorous side of a band no matter how successful they may be. The two musicians liken themselves to the Old West cowboys and gunslingers who, just like a rock band, lived like outlaws and on the edge of what’s morally decent as they passed from dusty towns to dusty towns plying their skills.
Even after 23 years since this song came out I’m still not tired of it and could always get me to sing along to it to the top of my lungs.
Wanted Dead or Alive
It’s all the same Only the names will change Everyday It seems we’re wastin’ away
Another place Where the faces are so cold I drive all night Just to get back home
I’m a cowboy On a steel horse I ride I’m wanted Dead or alive Wanted Dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep Sometimes it’s not for days The people I meet Always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day By the bottle that you drink And times when you’re alone All you do is think
I’m a cowboy On a steel horse I ride I’m wanted (Wanted) Dead or alive Wanted (Wanted) Dead or alive
Ohh alright Ohh
Oh I’m a cowboy On a steel horse I ride I’m wanted (Wanted) Dead or alive
When I walk these streets A loaded six string on my back I play for keeps ‘Cause I might not make it back
I’ve been everywhere (Ohh, yea) Still I’m standin’ tall I’ve seen a million faces And I’ve rocked them all
‘Cause I’m a cowboy On a steel horse I ride I’m wanted (Wanted) Dead or alive
I’m a cowboy I got the night on my side And I’m wanted (Wanted) Dead or alive And I’m right (And I’m right) Dead or alive I still drive (I still drive) Dead or alive
Dead or alive Dead or alive Mm dead or alive Dead or alive
Through the Shattered Lens 