Today is Hong Kong film star Donnie Yen’s 63rd birthday. The first time I remember seeing him on screen was in Yuen Woo-Ping’s 1993 film IRON MONKEY. He kicked butt then and he’s still kicking it to this day!
Celebrate with me by watching this clip from the martial arts classic!
If you were walking along the beach and you noticed that several bikinis had washed up on shore, what would you do?
Me, I would probably think to myself, “That’s weird. Maybe I should get off this beach because it seems like there’s something strange happening here.” What I would not do, under any circumstances, would be to pick up a bikini and decide to wear one of them.
I mean, that just seems like common sense. You don’t wear bikinis that randomly show up on the beach for much the same reason you don’t dumpster-dive for new underwear. It’s gross. And seriously, if you’re going to the beach, you should have bought and packed a bikini before you left. It may be cheaper to just wear whatever you find buried in the sand, but sometimes it’s worth spending a little money to look good.
Like I said …. IT’S COMMON SENSE!
Unfortunately, none of the characters in 2025’s Bikini Shark have a shred of common sense. When two women come across some bikinis on the beach, they promptly put them on. Later, when another group of women happens to find some bikinis in an isolated house, they also put them on. Soon they’re breaking out into terrible rashes and, even worse, they’re being pursued by sharks that somehow have the power to live and move on land. For all the time everyone spends talking about how sick they’re feeling, it never seems to occur to anyone to just take the cursed bikinis off. Then again, no one seems to think it’s odd that there are sharks somehow making their way into the kitchen.
The villain here is Truman Sullivan (Tyler Winchcombe), a wealthy man who owns a company that makes bikinis. For reasons that are never really that clear, Truman has lost his mind and is convinced that the only way to save the world from destruction is to sacrifice women to sharks. So Truman designed some bikinis specifically to attract sharks. But why did he also design the bikinis to cause the wearer to break into a terrible rash and start throwing up? How does that fit into saving the world? Truman is one of those villains who insists that the sacrifices have to happen quickly but who, at the same time, kidnaps one potential victim and then spends what seems like an eternity monologuing. Hey, Truman, are you trying to save the world or not?
Bikini Shark is a British shark film. It takes place in Essex and features one of the most depressing beaches that I’ve ever seen. The acting is subpar. In the role of Truman’s mother, Kathi deCuoto often appears as if she’s struggling to deliver her dialogue without laughing. If there is some charm to be found in this film, it’s due to the CGI sharks. They’re cute in their way, and it’s hard not to smile at the sight of them “swimming” over dry land. Otherwise, the best that can be said about this film is that it lives up to its name. There are bikinis and there are sharks.
Seriously, though, don’t wear clothes that you just happen to find on the ground. If there’s any lesson that I hope you take from this review, it’s that.
Hi, everyone! Tonight, on twitter, I will be hosting one of my favorite films for #MondayMania! Join us for Til Ex Do Us Part!
You can find the movie on Prime and then you can join us on twitter at 9 pm central time! (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.) See you then!
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
We’re jus two days away from the birthday of the legendary Italian director, Enzo G. Castellari! Here are….
4 Shots From 4 Enzo G. Castellari Films
Keoma (1976, dir by Enzo G. Castellari, DP: Aaice Parolin)
The Last Shark (1981, dir by Enzo G. Castellari, P: Alberto Spagnoli)
1990: Bronx Warriors (1982, dir by Enzo G. Castellari, DP: Sergio Salvati)
Escape From The Bronx (1983, dir by Enzo G. Castellari, DP: Blasco Giurato)
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.
Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1997’s Laserhawk!
It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, find the movie on YouTube and hit play at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! The watch party community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
See you soon!
Today’s scene that I love comes from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.
Stephen King can whine about this film all that he wants. It’s one of the few adaptations of his novels that can still scare the view even after numerous rewatches.
These two still freak me out.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
On this date, 97 years ago, Stanley Kubrick was born in New York City. The rest, as they say, is history.
In honor of one of the world’s greatest directors, here are….
6 Shots From 6 Stanley Kubrick Films
The Killing (1956, dir by Stanley Kubrick, DP: Lucien Ballard)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964, dir. Stanley Kubrick, DP: Gilbert Taylor)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968, dir by Stanley Kubrick, DP: Geoffrey Unsworth)
Barry Lyndon (1975, dir by Stanley Kubrick, DP: John Alcott)
The Shining (1980, dir by Stanley Kubrick, DP: John Alcott)
Full Metal Jacket (1987, dir by Stanley Kubrick, DP: Douglas Milsome)
Legendary character actor Walter Brennan was born on July 25th, 1894. Brennan had one of the most recognizable voices in the history of cinema, and he won three Oscars for his incredible body of work. He’s simply one of the best!
Here are my 4 personal favorite Walter Brennan films:
July 25th is the birthday of actor Woody Strode. In celebration of what would have been the icon’s 112th birthday, I’m sharing one of my favorite scenes in the history of cinema, which was made greater by the presence of Strode. One of the genius movies that Sergio Leone made when filming ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968) was casting Jack Elam and Woody Strode as two of the three men waiting for Harmonica to get off the train in the opening scene. It’s a classic!
My favorite living actor is the Hong Kong legend Chow Yun-Fat. His heroic bloodshed gangster films with John Woo turned me into a Hong Kong superfan. I’m also a big fan of Jackie Chan. His kung fu action-comedies eventually led to him being one of the biggest movie stars in the world. But did you know that when they were at the peaks of their careers in Hong Kong in the early 90’s, neither was the biggest star in their homeland? Nope! The true box office champion in Hong Kong was the comedian Stephen Chow. From 1990-1995, Stephen Chow led the box office every year except 1994, when Chow Yun-Fat barely edged him out. In the 2000’s, Stephen didn’t make a lot of movies, but when he did, they were record breaking box office smashes. The first of those was SHAOLIN SOCCER.
The film has a pretty simple concept… a former soccer great, known as Golden Leg Fung (Ng Man-Tat), has been down on his luck for 20 years after his leg was broken in a soccer match. Drunk and at his lowest, he runs into the Mighty Steel Leg Sing (Stephen Chow), a poor Shaolin disciple who spends his time trying to figure out a way to make the teachings of Shaolin popular again. When Fung sees the power with which Sing can kick a soccer ball, he comes up with the idea of recruiting and coaching a soccer team of Shaolin kung fu masters. He wants to challenge Team Evil, the reigning Chinese soccer champions, and their arrogant Coach Hung (Patrick Tse), the man responsible for his crippled leg. Can they win the Chinese Cup, restore the legend of Golden Leg Fung, and bring Shaolin Kung Fu into the modern world?
No matter what you think of my summary above, I can assure you that it doesn’t even come close to doing the film justice. What may sound like just a kung fu comedy is actually a kung fu comedy, a sports movie, and an effects driven, fantastical live-action cartoon all rolled up into one. As funny as I thought he was in the James Bond parody FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE (1995), writer-director Stephen Chow proves himself to be a comedic genius with SHAOLIN SOCCER. Apparently the citizens of Hong Kong agreed as the film broke all of their previous box office records when it was released in the summer of 2001. Chow would break his own records a few years later when he wrote, directed and starred in the international hit KUNG FU HUSTLE (2004).
As the film kicks into gear, we’re treated to a succession of “Magnificent Seven” like scenes where Fung and Sing try to build their soccer team from Sing’s former Shaolin “brothers.” These aren’t obvious badasses like Charles Bronson and James Coburn, though. These guys may be Shaolin masters, but in the world they live in now, they’re a bunch of beaten down losers. They all initially turn the guys down due to their complete lack of confidence in themselves, but something has undeniably stirred in them again. With Fung and Sing sitting alone and thinking all hope is lost, Chow brilliantly parodies John Woo, and the brothers join them in stylish, wind blown slow-mo!
Once the Shaolin masters get together on the team, director Stephen Chow cranks up the CGI and special effects to 10 to illustrate their true powers. This is all done for entertainment purposes, so don’t expect anything that resembles real soccer. Their first practice begins with Mighty Steel Leg Sing kicking a ball straight up in the air, so the team just has to hang out and take naps while they wait for the ball to finally come back down. As the guys discover their true CGI-enhanced Shaolin soccer superpowers, they seem unbeatable… that is, until they run back into the superdrug-enhanced Team Evil and their unethical coach Hung. Part of the fun of these types of movies is in seeing how they deal with adversity and overcome the bigger, badder team. I want to shout out Patrick Tse, who played Coach Hung. He’s deliriously over-the-top here, and we definitely want to see him get his comeuppance. One of the reasons I decided to rewatch SHAOLIN SOCCER is to celebrate Tse, who passed away on July 16th, 2026, at the age of 89, after a 7-decade film career in Hong Kong. Rest in peace, sir.
I think that the best thing I can say for this film is that underneath the entertaining craziness of the comedy and special effects is a sweet underdog story of unappreciated greatness being unleashed. The various characters may seem like jokes in their day to day lives, but they’re not, and it’s a joy to behold as the world sees how special they really are. This theme runs through several of Stephen Chow’s films. In his best movies, he doesn’t just prove that he’s a brilliant comedian, but he also shows us that he’s got a good heart.
Through the Shattered Lens 